Last post we looked at how people can punish or self-sabotage themselves because they have worthiness issues. Their self-worth is so low that they consciously or subconsciously, don’t believe they deserve to be healthy, happy and prosperous. So it’s worth some more discussion on how you can actually build up your self-worth.
To begin, we have to kill off the suppressors, the things that cause you to doubt or diminish your self-worth. You have to realize that what we call pop culture is actually an addictive, destructive, and dangerous barometer to use for terms of valuing yourself. Let me break some sad news to you:
- Your sex life will not be like those porno movies you’ve watched. Off the set, those people are wondering what they can do to spice up their own sex life.
- More followers on Facebook and Instagram will not make you happier. It will only create the pressure of trying to convince yet more people that you are happy.
- Having six people lusting after your body will not make you feel secure. On a deeper level, you know that looks are superficial and transitory.
- Earning more money will not increase your self-worth. The way in which you earn money, the actual service and value you create with your work, has a much stronger effect on how you view yourself.
- Likewise, you can get breast or pec implants, a nose job, and Botox away all of your wrinkles. You are still you, and the value and worth with which you hold yourself will not change, because you know that the real you hasn’t changed.
- You will not be as sage, charming, and kind as the characters on your favorite sit-com. That shit is make-believe.
The common denominator in all these things is that they are external factors. And your self-worth can never come from things outside of yourself. It must come from the inside. Which is what we will explore on the next post.. Until then, love to see your comments below.
I believe, it is impossible to dismiss external factors of evaluation of the worthiness - no matter how worthy you might consider yourself, there will be always an external scale others will compare you to to define what you worth FOR THEM. What really should be worked on is - how you react to these evaluations. That, in my opinion, can bring you real sense of self-esteem. People tend to pick on the projected out emotions to judge each other...
Good thoughts here. I don't know that I would affirm it's impossible to dismiss other people's evaluation of you. But I do agree that the real work is how you choose to respond to them.
I agree that to dismiss other's opinion of you is impossible - after all we do share the same world with other people, can't escape that, sure. I would suggest approach when you work on how important/not important other's evaluations are to you, for a start. For example - how you define your ideal job - money that go into your own pocket/respect that you get from your peers/joy that you get from doing what you like...decide on what is most important to you and start working on pushing the rest on the background. Not dismissing, as such, just making it less significant, so it will affect you less. How about that for a start?...in my personal experience I found that such work can be done, but it does take time, as the old habits die hard, as we know it? 🙂
Great stuff RG! Always helpful to get a reminder like this because life does get in the way. I think Lana is on to something and would appreciate your comments.
Psychic pain is the "bad ass" of the brain. It's one of the hardest things to "make sense of" OR "put into perspective & learn from"; focusing on others really helps, though is no a "gatekeeper"