Most of you reading this have never met me in person. Or perhaps you attended one of my events and we shared a quick handshake or a selfie.
But I still know a couple very important things about you…
First, I know that at certain times in your life when a door slammed closed and you thought something was over, you discovered that a greater good was awaiting you through a different avenue. And secondly, I know that some of your greatest accomplishments sprouted from some of your most difficult challenges.
Are you the person you always dreamt of becoming or did you settle for someone else? Maybe you bought someone else’s story for yourself. Or maybe you zigged when you should have zagged, and that led you down a path that took you to a world you never intended to live in. The fact that you’re still reading this is a pretty good indication that you may be living a story that isn’t really yours. Or perhaps you woke up one day and realized you simply don’t like the person you have become. In either case, that doesn’t have to be a bad thing. In fact, it may be a wonderful development.
Because every failure you have endured, every obstacle you have overcome, and every challenge you have conquered, has made you stronger, wiser, and better prepared for your true destiny. These stepping-stones were necessary. Because without them you could never comprehend, understand, and take action on the path you need to travel from this point forward. You were too ignorant, too arrogant, or both, to be able to receive the message your life has been sending you about yourself.
Don’t beat yourself up over that. You’ve suffered enough, paid your penance, served your time. You have grown in consciousness. Release the old you, forgive yourself, and move forward to accept your abundance.
Don't let who you have been, prevent you from who you can become.
Sometimes version 1.0 of the software isn’t the one that works in the market. (And sometimes neither does version 2.0 or 8.0.) But as long as you’re willing to keep fixing bugs and making upgrades, you eventually get to the version that works. And that’s what this delicious experience we call life is really about. The journey to becoming the highest possible version of yourself.
Best case scenario, this is simply a case of releasing the old you. But if you’ve been acting out deeply-ingrained, intergenerational toxic patterns – it may require killing off the old you.
Some may tell you this is a years-long process. They might suggest you need to quantify your unmet childhood needs, search for repressed feelings and memories, or get in touch with your inner child. You can take five years with a psychiatrist and go through the Rorschach ink blots, search for the meaning of symptoms, perform dream analysis, and question all your parapraxes, resistance, transference, and panic attacks. (And maybe you should. I had four years of therapy and found it extremely helpful.) But whether you work with a mental health counselor or not – you don’t have to wait to find the right therapist to make a change in your life. I believe the best advice is the simplest. So let’s keep this simple:
You don’t have to be in denial or shame about living a sucky life. There is no need to succumb to depression and resigned acceptance. Millions of people were programmed to make the same mistakes you did. Simply having this realization is 80 percent of the breakthrough. Once you do, you can make the decision to stop living the old life and start creating a new one. Be willing to let go of who you are – to transform into who you are meant to become.
The most liberating day of your life is the one you realize that some bridges are meant to be burned.
There are some beliefs, habits, and even people, that no longer belong in your life. Once you realize and recognize that, you can finally give yourself permission to move on. Then you get a second chance at a clean canvass to paint your life. (In rare cases, this is actually a first chance.) Now the journey of self-mastery can truly begin. That’s where I want to pick up on the next post. Until then, would love to see your thoughts below.