Sign InMy Account

Lying to Yourself

Posted By: Randy GageFebruary 17, 2012

Want to get really uncomfortable?  Well, let’s do it anyway.  🙂  Last post we talked about discovering people’s true intentions by their actions, instead of their words.

But what about you?

Do you say you’re serious about getting in shape, but not find time to exercise?  Do you say you’re serious about losing weight, but still hit the sundae bar?  Are you going to quit smoking, drinking or drugs, but still keep using?

When I say one thing but I do another, that’s a clear sign that I am not living congruently and need to re-evaluate something.  That kind of searching and honest self-evaluation is where the real breakthroughs live.

So how you doing on that?

-RG

84 comments on “Lying to Yourself”

  1. Doing pretty good. One of the downsides, one may see, (and it's only temporary frustration as you wade THROUGH them) is that once you start living congruently, you start to notice all those who aren't, and have to sometimes remove people from your life and/or endure the frustration of living around them for a while...I never realized all the toxic people around me until I cleaned myself up. Thanks RG!

  2. Doing pretty good. One of the downsides, one may see, (and it's only temporary frustration as you wade THROUGH them) is that once you start living congruently, you start to notice all those who aren't, and have to sometimes remove people from your life and/or endure the frustration of living around them for a while...I never realized all the toxic people around me until I cleaned myself up. Thanks RG!

  3. I just had a tomato and mozzarella sandwich.................................... ................................................................................................................................................................................ with french fries...LOL

  4. I just had a tomato and mozzarella sandwich.................................... ................................................................................................................................................................................ with french fries...LOL

  5. Hi Randy.

    I haven't commented for a long time. But I do check and read all the posts. I remember a book title that sounds like this: Be Yourself; Everybody Else Has Been Taken. I can't remeber the author. Someone may google it.

    I cannot live a lie. I will be myself.

    1. @RichardBony Richard, the book os written by Mike Robbins. I bought it last summer in L.A. at a great event and still, have to read it. So, you say it´s very GOOD!?! Sounds very good....thanks!

  6. Hi Randy.

    I haven't commented for a long time. But I do check and read all the posts. I remember a book title that sounds like this: Be Yourself; Everybody Else Has Been Taken. I can't remeber the author. Someone may google it.

    I cannot live a lie. I will be myself.

  7. @RichardBony Richard, the book os written by Mike Robbins. I bought it last summer in L.A. at a great event and still, have to read it. So, you say it´s very GOOD!?! Sounds very good....thanks!

  8. Do you really want answers here? ;))

    Randy, your post are great lately - as always!!!!

    Let me mix it up:

    I am sure, one can lose weight and still have some candy during the week. I made it this way.

    In terms of addictions I heard that it can be emotionally connected to your mind and this way - dis-connected. A shock can do so.

    I am sure we need tough reasons for a change otherwise we don´t.

    The thing is:

    the older we get, the more we can stand in life & the less we move or change. This shadow of our own gets bigger & bigger the more we experience. We call it our "Schweinehund" in Germany.

    (1:1 translation = Pigs-dog)

  9. Do you really want answers here? ;))

    Randy, your post are great lately - as always!!!!

    Let me mix it up:

    I am sure, one can lose weight and still have some candy during the week. I made it this way.

    In terms of addictions I heard that it can be emotionally connected to your mind and this way - dis-connected. A shock can do so.

    I am sure we need tough reasons for a change otherwise we don´t.

    The thing is:

    the older we get, the more we can stand in life & the less we move or change. This shadow of our own gets bigger & bigger the more we experience. We call it our "Schweinehund" in Germany.

    (1:1 translation = Pigs-dog)

  10. How do we know the play of consciousness? Does our Spirit need to work out, need to stop smoking, need to stop doing drugs? When we get into alignment with who we really are, in alignment with the perfection, then the pounds fall off... then the addiction falls away into the nothingness in which they came. Nameste' and BOOM!!! 🙂

  11. How do we know the play of consciousness? Does our Spirit need to work out, need to stop smoking, need to stop doing drugs? When we get into alignment with who we really are, in alignment with the perfection, then the pounds fall off... then the addiction falls away into the nothingness in which they came. Nameste' and BOOM!!! 🙂

  12. 🙂 so true Randy...

    If you decide to do something, you will ... I found that when I did not finish some things that I had resolved, my sense of self-esteem varied significantly ... The starting point is to give myself targets to realize that I really want! So I can say, yes it is self-discipline... Strongly decide and than nothing is in a way to do it. Thank you for inspiration.. Right today I was asked about... How to enhance self-esteem? I responded that this way... step by step.. to be really honest with yourself. M.

  13. 🙂 so true Randy...

    If you decide to do something, you will ... I found that when I did not finish some things that I had resolved, my sense of self-esteem varied significantly ... The starting point is to give myself targets to realize that I really want! So I can say, yes it is self-discipline... Strongly decide and than nothing is in a way to do it. Thank you for inspiration.. Right today I was asked about... How to enhance self-esteem? I responded that this way... step by step.. to be really honest with yourself. M.

  14. Poorly in some ways. I tell myself that I want to do x and x but that I don't have enough time. Then when spare time presents itself, I'm looking everywhere for alternatives vs. doing x and x. Conclusion: I'm lying to myself when I claim I "want to" do x and x.

  15. Poorly in some ways. I tell myself that I want to do x and x but that I don't have enough time. Then when spare time presents itself, I'm looking everywhere for alternatives vs. doing x and x. Conclusion: I'm lying to myself when I claim I "want to" do x and x.

  16. Randy - you may want to get this book... Kegan is an awesome development Psychologyst... In this book he looks at how we have competing commitments that get int he way/sabotage our intention... How the Way We Talk Can Change the Way We Work: Seve... by Robert Kegan http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B003AU4DX2?ie=UTF8&tag=gifts4u0e-20&linkCode=shr&camp=213733&creative=393177&creativeASIN=B003AU4DX2&ref_=sr_1_2&qid=1329520566&sr=8-2 via @amazon Have you come across Kegan? I may have mentioned him to you a few years back when I read it! Too often we make ourseves "wrong" for not following through.... this often leads to shame... and further non action. When we stay curious, compassionate, and become conscious we can understand WHY we are honouring our intent, and begin to understand how to become aligned with it.

    Love you!

  17. Too often we make ourseves "wrong" for not following through.... this often leads to shame... and further non action. When we stay curious, compassionate, and become conscious we can understand WHY we are honouring our intent, and begin to understand how to become aligned with it.Randy - you may want to get this book... Kegan is an awesome developmental Psychologist... In this book he looks at how we have competing commitments that get int he way/sabotage our intention... How the Way We Talk Can Change the Way We Work: Seve... by Robert Kegan http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B003AU4DX2?ie=UTF8&tag=gifts4u0e-20&linkCode=shr&camp=213733&creative=393177&creativeASIN=B003AU4DX2&ref_=sr_1_2&qid=1329520566&sr=8-2 via @amazon Have you come across Kegan? I may have mentioned him to you a few years back when I read it!

  18. Too often we make ourseves "wrong" for not following through.... this often leads to shame... and further non action. When we stay curious, compassionate, and become conscious we can understand WHY we are not honouring our intent, and begin to understand how to become aligned with it.Randy - you may want to get this book... Kegan is an awesome developmental Psychologist... In this book he looks at how we have competing commitments that get int he way/sabotage our intention... How the Way We Talk Can Change the Way We Work: Seve... by Robert Kegan http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B003AU4DX2?ie=UTF8&tag=gifts4u0e-20&linkCode=shr&camp=213733&creative=393177&creativeASIN=B003AU4DX2&ref_=sr_1_2&qid=1329520566&sr=8-2 via @amazon Have you come across Kegan? I may have mentioned him to you a few years back when I read it!

    1. Thanks for the book recommendation! I'll be looking at that. Currently reading Changing for Good, by James O. Prochaska & a couple friends. Picked it up accidentally (?) at the library, v. interesting explanation of the 6 step Process of changing,...1. "I'm FINE just the way I am" 2. "Hmm, maybe it would be a good idea to change." 3. "I'm gonna start exercising on March 1st" 4. "Look at me, I'm exercising!" 5 "Been doin' this for 6months" 6. "It's just a habit I have"

      Most "changers" recycle through stages 2, 3, and 4 a few times before they achieve 6-ness.

      Pretty interesting stuff. Re becoming a prosperity-thinker, I'm still recycling...that's ok, it will eventually become a true habit.

  19. Too often we make ourseves "wrong" for not following through.... this often leads to shame... and further non action. When we stay curious, compassionate, and become conscious we can understand WHY we are not honouring our intent, and begin to understand how to become aligned with it.Randy - you may want to get this book... Kegan is an awesome developmental Psychologist... In this book he looks at how we have competing commitments that get int he way/sabotage our intention... How the Way We Talk Can Change the Way We Work: Seve... by Robert Kegan http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B003AU4DX2?ie=UTF8&tag=gifts4u0e-20&linkCode=shr&camp=213733&creative=393177&creativeASIN=B003AU4DX2&ref_=sr_1_2&qid=1329520566&sr=8-2 via @amazon Have you come across Kegan? I may have mentioned him to you a few years back when I read it!

  20. I Backslide just a little on the losing weight bit. I am only about 5 lbs above my ideal. 193 as opposed to 188 or thereabouts. Thank goodness I do not smoke or have any desire for drugs. My 1 beer a day is an unwinding ritual. I always make time for exercise as I just got back from a 40 minute bike ride.

  21. I Backslide just a little on the losing weight bit. I am only about 5 lbs above my ideal. 193 as opposed to 188 or thereabouts. Thank goodness I do not smoke or have any desire for drugs. My 1 beer a day is an unwinding ritual. I always make time for exercise as I just got back from a 40 minute bike ride.

  22. Thanks for the book recommendation! I'll be looking at that. Currently reading Changing for Good, by James O. Prochaska & a couple friends. Picked it up accidentally (?) at the library, v. interesting explanation of the 6 step Process of changing,...1. "I'm FINE just the way I am" 2. "Hmm, maybe it would be a good idea to change." 3. "I'm gonna start exercising on March 1st" 4. "Look at me, I'm exercising!" 5 "Been doin' this for 6months" 6. "It's just a habit I have"

    Most "changers" recycle through stages 2, 3, and 4 a few times before they achieve 6-ness.

    Pretty interesting stuff. Re becoming a prosperity-thinker, I'm still recycling...that's ok, it will eventually become a true habit.

  23. Often it seems like it is so black and white, and it'd be a lot easier if it was. If you really desire change, you make the change, if you don't want it bad enough you don't. However life, like driving or flying, is constant course correction.

    This makes an interesting case for goal setting. Of course setting goals is important, but how stringent or specific should we be on the outcomes? Some people set specific goals, and don't hit them, and then beat themselves up and surrender altogether. Many outside forces tell them "you just didn't want it BAD enough." So, after a few of those, it makes every process of starting anew even harder. People can go in with full intention of beginning a new life, but if "failure is not an option" they may quit before getting started.

    I can only imagine battling addiction could be an extreme example of this. Kind of like how AA treats alcoholics by telling them they are and always will be alcoholics. If they never believe they can be "cured" then any slip up on their path can send them into relapse.

    I agree that self evaluation is a must. I think the beginnings of the breakthrough start there. However, being honest with yourself about your expectations and goals is integral to the process. Also, allowing failure is essential. It may very well be that success of any magnitude is merely reducing the frequency of failure between increased frequency of attempts.

    Sorry if this rant veered off topic. It made sense at the time. 🙂

  24. Often it seems like it is so black and white, and it'd be a lot easier if it was. If you really desire change, you make the change, if you don't want it bad enough you don't. However life, like driving or flying, is constant course correction.

    This makes an interesting case for goal setting. Of course setting goals is important, but how stringent or specific should we be on the outcomes? Some people set specific goals, and don't hit them, and then beat themselves up and surrender altogether. Many outside forces tell them "you just didn't want it BAD enough." So, after a few of those, it makes every process of starting anew even harder. People can go in with full intention of beginning a new life, but if "failure is not an option" they may quit before getting started.

    I can only imagine battling addiction could be an extreme example of this. Kind of like how AA treats alcoholics by telling them they are and always will be alcoholics. If they never believe they can be "cured" then any slip up on their path can send them into relapse.

    I agree that self evaluation is a must. I think the beginnings of the breakthrough start there. However, being honest with yourself about your expectations and goals is integral to the process. Also, allowing failure is essential. It may very well be that success of any magnitude is merely reducing the frequency of failure between increased frequency of attempts.

    Sorry if this rant veered off topic. It made sense at the time. 🙂

  25. So where is the problem ? Why do we lia ? how can we solve this ? What do we need to re-evaluate ?

    I realy suck on this one. Most times i'm saying : i'm going to do this ... and i just dont.

    1.  @million dollar Good questions! How much do you really want the things you talk about and you're not doing then? is it ok to delay the start of the diet? Do you know yourself enough or can you even trust yourself enough?
      do you want to go to bed every night knowing you did the best you can?

  26. So where is the problem ? Why do we lia ? how can we solve this ? What do we need to re-evaluate ?

    I realy suck on this one. Most times i'm saying : i'm going to do this ... and i just dont.

  27. Cognitive Dissonance. I am still reading "Atlas Shrugged". I am almost finished. It's really making me crazy. It requires lots of processing. Although, now that I am almost through it, I get it. I think I may understand you better now.

    Cognitive dissonance is what people experience when they say one thing and do another. Inevitably, to reach a state of internal integrity, you have to give up one or the other. Otherwise, emotions like shame and depression could take root. I guess you could find a way that two incongruous activities make sense. Ignorance protects us from cognitive dissonance also. But, usually it is a self told lie or self made misunderstanding or not functioning at our highest conscious level.

    Sometimes we want something, but we don't know how to get it or do it. So we say it hoping our actions will follow suit. But, in the end we are just not ready. Readiness relies on the work we do. The work we do relies on perseverance, support, faith, love, and the amount of chocolate one keeps on hand at any given time.

    As for shame and guilt, sometimes they lead us into depression. But, sometimes they are the emotional cue that something is not right. Even depression can lead someone to a better path, no one wants to stay depressed.

  28. Cognitive Dissonance. I am still reading "Atlas Shrugged". I am almost finished. It's really making me crazy. It requires lots of processing. Although, now that I am almost through it, I get it. I think I may understand you better now.

    Cognitive dissonance is what people experience when they say one thing and do another. Inevitably, to reach a state of internal integrity, you have to give up one or the other. Otherwise, emotions like shame and depression could take root. I guess you could find a way that two incongruous activities make sense. Ignorance protects us from cognitive dissonance also. But, usually it is a self told lie or self made misunderstanding or not functioning at our highest conscious level.

    Sometimes we want something, but we don't know how to get it or do it. So we say it hoping our actions will follow suit. But, in the end we are just not ready. Readiness relies on the work we do. The work we do relies on perseverance, support, faith, love, and the amount of chocolate one keeps on hand at any given time.

    As for shame and guilt, sometimes they lead us into depression. But, sometimes they are the emotional cue that something is not right. Even depression can lead someone to a better path, no one wants to stay depressed.

  29. As a person who gives this stuff a lot of my conscious thought, I fail miserably in this area. In all areas of what I know I should be doing, I truly struggle with this.

    But what is someone to do, but continue to push forward until it takes.

    To simply give up regardless of "the start and stop" activity that most of us fall into to is the ultimate failure. There are certainly some underlying thoughts processes that will hold people back from doing what they know they should be doing but the only way to uncover that is to continue to move forward while carefully trying to find those thoughts that we have slightly under the surface that are not serving us.

    To give up is to fail completely.

    JC

  30. As a person who gives this stuff a lot of my conscious thought, I fail miserably in this area. In all areas of what I know I should be doing, I truly struggle with this.

    But what is someone to do, but continue to push forward until it takes.

    To simply give up regardless of "the start and stop" activity that most of us fall into to is the ultimate failure. There are certainly some underlying thoughts processes that will hold people back from doing what they know they should be doing but the only way to uncover that is to continue to move forward while carefully trying to find those thoughts that we have slightly under the surface that are not serving us.

    To give up is to fail completely.

    JC

  31. This topic really made me think, and I realize that I say so many things, make so many goals and commitments, but when it comes time to take the action necessary to fulfill those goals and commitments, I sometimes don't follow through. And the reason is that I don't accept failure. I say that I know failures are stepping stones to success, but when I really take a close look at my values and actions, I really don't want to fail at all.

    I'm really happy I read this, I really needed it. Today, I went to make invite calls, but when it came time to pick up the phone, I stared at my contact list for two hours, and only made 7 calls. I always thought the reason was I didn't fully understand why I was doing it, or my goal, but I think it's the fear of failure that's holding me back from taking the action.

    Any suggestion on overcoming that fear? Or suggestions on persevering through it?

    1. @EricJBrennan Eric: what is it that you are going to lose when you pick up the phone only 7 times instead of 21 times? if there is a failur-rate at all, the per-centage will be the same. Fact. Let me ask indiretcly: is your goal too big? or is it too small? Do you go step by step or is it the huge mountain that you want to climb at once?

  32. This topic really made me think, and I realize that I say so many things, make so many goals and commitments, but when it comes time to take the action necessary to fulfill those goals and commitments, I sometimes don't follow through. And the reason is that I don't accept failure. I say that I know failures are stepping stones to success, but when I really take a close look at my values and actions, I really don't want to fail at all.

    I'm really happy I read this, I really needed it. Today, I went to make invite calls, but when it came time to pick up the phone, I stared at my contact list for two hours, and only made 7 calls. I always thought the reason was I didn't fully understand why I was doing it, or my goal, but I think it's the fear of failure that's holding me back from taking the action.

    Any suggestion on overcoming that fear? Or suggestions on persevering through it?

  33. @EricJBrennan Eric: what is it that you are going to lose when you pick up the phone only 7 times instead of 21 times? if there is a failur-rate at all, the per-centage will be the same. Fact. Let me ask indiretcly: is your goal too big? or is it too small? Do you go step by step or is it the huge mountain that you want to climb at once?

  34. If I say something, I have the urge to make it happen. I can't stop thinking and I feel guilty if I say something and do nothing about it. We're pretty much lying to ourselves that way. I'd rather live life free rather than knowing at some point, I lie to myself for a living.

  35. If I say something, I have the urge to make it happen. I can't stop thinking and I feel guilty if I say something and do nothing about it. We're pretty much lying to ourselves that way. I'd rather live life free rather than knowing at some point, I lie to myself for a living.

  36. Good Point Randy, unfortunately the level of commitment is always a bit more than people are willing to work through. Change take time, commitment and patience and unless one realizes this before they start they will soon get discouraged.

    1.  @Doug_Alp Great point Doug I couldn't agree more. Change starts with the decision to be committed. Once that decision goes from our head into our heart it's game over! 

  37. Good Point Randy, unfortunately the level of commitment is always a bit more than people are willing to work through. Change take time, commitment and patience and unless one realizes this before they start they will soon get discouraged.

  38.  @million dollar Good questions! How much do you really want the things you talk about and you're not doing then? is it ok to delay the start of the diet? Do you know yourself enough or can you even trust yourself enough?
    do you want to go to bed every night knowing you did the best you can?

  39. This post reminds me of the Slight Edge principal. When we set goals for our selves we should involve action steps in their simplest terms. Like reading a self development book for at least 10 minutes a day. Sounds pretty simple to do right? I mean if you are reading this post I know the actual reading part is a no brainer. Finding 10 minutes in your day is probably just as simple. There in lies the problem. This small task that is so easy to do on the other side of the coin is just as easy NOT to do. That is where I believe most of us fail. Keeping this principal in mind has helped me tremendously in persuing my prosperity. Thanks again Randy for the thought provoking post!! LIVE RICH!

  40. This post reminds me of the Slight Edge principal. When we set goals for our selves we should involve action steps in their simplest terms. Like reading a self development book for at least 10 minutes a day. Sounds pretty simple to do right? I mean if you are reading this post I know the actual reading part is a no brainer. Finding 10 minutes in your day is probably just as simple. There in lies the problem. This small task that is so easy to do on the other side of the coin is just as easy NOT to do. That is where I believe most of us fail. Keeping this principal in mind has helped me tremendously in persuing my prosperity. Thanks again Randy for the thought provoking post!! LIVE RICH!

  41.  @Doug_Alp Great point Doug I couldn't agree more. Change starts with the decision to be committed. Once that decision goes from our head into our heart it's game over! 

  42. Great thought; As I often say "Be true to yourself and everything else will fall into place".

  43. I rather be free than imprisoned by my own self imposed lack and limitations.. If I need to make corrects, I must know.

  44. I rather be free than imprisoned by my own self imposed lack and limitations.. If I need to make corrects, I must know.

  45. @Nikki - that's the way to go! I agree with you on that.

    It's better to be free rather than live life full of guilt and a life of a lie.

  46. @Nikki - that's the way to go! I agree with you on that.

    It's better to be free rather than live life full of guilt and a life of a lie.

  47. Hi Randy,
    Indeed, lying to your self! It reminds me every year after newyear when I take the iniative 'to stop smoking' or getting that 'amazing body' lool...
     
    Kind regards
    Tasha Smith - treatment for depression reviewer
     

  48. Hi Randy,
    Indeed, lying to your self! It reminds me every year after newyear when I take the iniative 'to stop smoking' or getting that 'amazing body' lool...
     
    Kind regards
    Tasha Smith - treatment for depression reviewer
     

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

  • Generic selectors
    Exact matches only
    Search in title
    Search in content
    Post Type Selectors
  • Stay Connected

    Subscribe to Randy’s Blog via Email

  • Recent Posts

  • 84 comments on “Lying to Yourself”

    1. Doing pretty good. One of the downsides, one may see, (and it's only temporary frustration as you wade THROUGH them) is that once you start living congruently, you start to notice all those who aren't, and have to sometimes remove people from your life and/or endure the frustration of living around them for a while...I never realized all the toxic people around me until I cleaned myself up. Thanks RG!

    2. Doing pretty good. One of the downsides, one may see, (and it's only temporary frustration as you wade THROUGH them) is that once you start living congruently, you start to notice all those who aren't, and have to sometimes remove people from your life and/or endure the frustration of living around them for a while...I never realized all the toxic people around me until I cleaned myself up. Thanks RG!

    3. I just had a tomato and mozzarella sandwich.................................... ................................................................................................................................................................................ with french fries...LOL

    4. I just had a tomato and mozzarella sandwich.................................... ................................................................................................................................................................................ with french fries...LOL

    5. Hi Randy.

      I haven't commented for a long time. But I do check and read all the posts. I remember a book title that sounds like this: Be Yourself; Everybody Else Has Been Taken. I can't remeber the author. Someone may google it.

      I cannot live a lie. I will be myself.

      1. @RichardBony Richard, the book os written by Mike Robbins. I bought it last summer in L.A. at a great event and still, have to read it. So, you say it´s very GOOD!?! Sounds very good....thanks!

    6. Hi Randy.

      I haven't commented for a long time. But I do check and read all the posts. I remember a book title that sounds like this: Be Yourself; Everybody Else Has Been Taken. I can't remeber the author. Someone may google it.

      I cannot live a lie. I will be myself.

    7. @RichardBony Richard, the book os written by Mike Robbins. I bought it last summer in L.A. at a great event and still, have to read it. So, you say it´s very GOOD!?! Sounds very good....thanks!

    8. Do you really want answers here? ;))

      Randy, your post are great lately - as always!!!!

      Let me mix it up:

      I am sure, one can lose weight and still have some candy during the week. I made it this way.

      In terms of addictions I heard that it can be emotionally connected to your mind and this way - dis-connected. A shock can do so.

      I am sure we need tough reasons for a change otherwise we don´t.

      The thing is:

      the older we get, the more we can stand in life & the less we move or change. This shadow of our own gets bigger & bigger the more we experience. We call it our "Schweinehund" in Germany.

      (1:1 translation = Pigs-dog)

    9. Do you really want answers here? ;))

      Randy, your post are great lately - as always!!!!

      Let me mix it up:

      I am sure, one can lose weight and still have some candy during the week. I made it this way.

      In terms of addictions I heard that it can be emotionally connected to your mind and this way - dis-connected. A shock can do so.

      I am sure we need tough reasons for a change otherwise we don´t.

      The thing is:

      the older we get, the more we can stand in life & the less we move or change. This shadow of our own gets bigger & bigger the more we experience. We call it our "Schweinehund" in Germany.

      (1:1 translation = Pigs-dog)

    10. How do we know the play of consciousness? Does our Spirit need to work out, need to stop smoking, need to stop doing drugs? When we get into alignment with who we really are, in alignment with the perfection, then the pounds fall off... then the addiction falls away into the nothingness in which they came. Nameste' and BOOM!!! 🙂

    11. How do we know the play of consciousness? Does our Spirit need to work out, need to stop smoking, need to stop doing drugs? When we get into alignment with who we really are, in alignment with the perfection, then the pounds fall off... then the addiction falls away into the nothingness in which they came. Nameste' and BOOM!!! 🙂

    12. 🙂 so true Randy...

      If you decide to do something, you will ... I found that when I did not finish some things that I had resolved, my sense of self-esteem varied significantly ... The starting point is to give myself targets to realize that I really want! So I can say, yes it is self-discipline... Strongly decide and than nothing is in a way to do it. Thank you for inspiration.. Right today I was asked about... How to enhance self-esteem? I responded that this way... step by step.. to be really honest with yourself. M.

    13. 🙂 so true Randy...

      If you decide to do something, you will ... I found that when I did not finish some things that I had resolved, my sense of self-esteem varied significantly ... The starting point is to give myself targets to realize that I really want! So I can say, yes it is self-discipline... Strongly decide and than nothing is in a way to do it. Thank you for inspiration.. Right today I was asked about... How to enhance self-esteem? I responded that this way... step by step.. to be really honest with yourself. M.

    14. Poorly in some ways. I tell myself that I want to do x and x but that I don't have enough time. Then when spare time presents itself, I'm looking everywhere for alternatives vs. doing x and x. Conclusion: I'm lying to myself when I claim I "want to" do x and x.

    15. Poorly in some ways. I tell myself that I want to do x and x but that I don't have enough time. Then when spare time presents itself, I'm looking everywhere for alternatives vs. doing x and x. Conclusion: I'm lying to myself when I claim I "want to" do x and x.

    16. Randy - you may want to get this book... Kegan is an awesome development Psychologyst... In this book he looks at how we have competing commitments that get int he way/sabotage our intention... How the Way We Talk Can Change the Way We Work: Seve... by Robert Kegan http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B003AU4DX2?ie=UTF8&tag=gifts4u0e-20&linkCode=shr&camp=213733&creative=393177&creativeASIN=B003AU4DX2&ref_=sr_1_2&qid=1329520566&sr=8-2 via @amazon Have you come across Kegan? I may have mentioned him to you a few years back when I read it! Too often we make ourseves "wrong" for not following through.... this often leads to shame... and further non action. When we stay curious, compassionate, and become conscious we can understand WHY we are honouring our intent, and begin to understand how to become aligned with it.

      Love you!

    17. Too often we make ourseves "wrong" for not following through.... this often leads to shame... and further non action. When we stay curious, compassionate, and become conscious we can understand WHY we are honouring our intent, and begin to understand how to become aligned with it.Randy - you may want to get this book... Kegan is an awesome developmental Psychologist... In this book he looks at how we have competing commitments that get int he way/sabotage our intention... How the Way We Talk Can Change the Way We Work: Seve... by Robert Kegan http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B003AU4DX2?ie=UTF8&tag=gifts4u0e-20&linkCode=shr&camp=213733&creative=393177&creativeASIN=B003AU4DX2&ref_=sr_1_2&qid=1329520566&sr=8-2 via @amazon Have you come across Kegan? I may have mentioned him to you a few years back when I read it!

    18. Too often we make ourseves "wrong" for not following through.... this often leads to shame... and further non action. When we stay curious, compassionate, and become conscious we can understand WHY we are not honouring our intent, and begin to understand how to become aligned with it.Randy - you may want to get this book... Kegan is an awesome developmental Psychologist... In this book he looks at how we have competing commitments that get int he way/sabotage our intention... How the Way We Talk Can Change the Way We Work: Seve... by Robert Kegan http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B003AU4DX2?ie=UTF8&tag=gifts4u0e-20&linkCode=shr&camp=213733&creative=393177&creativeASIN=B003AU4DX2&ref_=sr_1_2&qid=1329520566&sr=8-2 via @amazon Have you come across Kegan? I may have mentioned him to you a few years back when I read it!

      1. Thanks for the book recommendation! I'll be looking at that. Currently reading Changing for Good, by James O. Prochaska & a couple friends. Picked it up accidentally (?) at the library, v. interesting explanation of the 6 step Process of changing,...1. "I'm FINE just the way I am" 2. "Hmm, maybe it would be a good idea to change." 3. "I'm gonna start exercising on March 1st" 4. "Look at me, I'm exercising!" 5 "Been doin' this for 6months" 6. "It's just a habit I have"

        Most "changers" recycle through stages 2, 3, and 4 a few times before they achieve 6-ness.

        Pretty interesting stuff. Re becoming a prosperity-thinker, I'm still recycling...that's ok, it will eventually become a true habit.

    19. Too often we make ourseves "wrong" for not following through.... this often leads to shame... and further non action. When we stay curious, compassionate, and become conscious we can understand WHY we are not honouring our intent, and begin to understand how to become aligned with it.Randy - you may want to get this book... Kegan is an awesome developmental Psychologist... In this book he looks at how we have competing commitments that get int he way/sabotage our intention... How the Way We Talk Can Change the Way We Work: Seve... by Robert Kegan http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B003AU4DX2?ie=UTF8&tag=gifts4u0e-20&linkCode=shr&camp=213733&creative=393177&creativeASIN=B003AU4DX2&ref_=sr_1_2&qid=1329520566&sr=8-2 via @amazon Have you come across Kegan? I may have mentioned him to you a few years back when I read it!

    20. I Backslide just a little on the losing weight bit. I am only about 5 lbs above my ideal. 193 as opposed to 188 or thereabouts. Thank goodness I do not smoke or have any desire for drugs. My 1 beer a day is an unwinding ritual. I always make time for exercise as I just got back from a 40 minute bike ride.

    21. I Backslide just a little on the losing weight bit. I am only about 5 lbs above my ideal. 193 as opposed to 188 or thereabouts. Thank goodness I do not smoke or have any desire for drugs. My 1 beer a day is an unwinding ritual. I always make time for exercise as I just got back from a 40 minute bike ride.

    22. Thanks for the book recommendation! I'll be looking at that. Currently reading Changing for Good, by James O. Prochaska & a couple friends. Picked it up accidentally (?) at the library, v. interesting explanation of the 6 step Process of changing,...1. "I'm FINE just the way I am" 2. "Hmm, maybe it would be a good idea to change." 3. "I'm gonna start exercising on March 1st" 4. "Look at me, I'm exercising!" 5 "Been doin' this for 6months" 6. "It's just a habit I have"

      Most "changers" recycle through stages 2, 3, and 4 a few times before they achieve 6-ness.

      Pretty interesting stuff. Re becoming a prosperity-thinker, I'm still recycling...that's ok, it will eventually become a true habit.

    23. Often it seems like it is so black and white, and it'd be a lot easier if it was. If you really desire change, you make the change, if you don't want it bad enough you don't. However life, like driving or flying, is constant course correction.

      This makes an interesting case for goal setting. Of course setting goals is important, but how stringent or specific should we be on the outcomes? Some people set specific goals, and don't hit them, and then beat themselves up and surrender altogether. Many outside forces tell them "you just didn't want it BAD enough." So, after a few of those, it makes every process of starting anew even harder. People can go in with full intention of beginning a new life, but if "failure is not an option" they may quit before getting started.

      I can only imagine battling addiction could be an extreme example of this. Kind of like how AA treats alcoholics by telling them they are and always will be alcoholics. If they never believe they can be "cured" then any slip up on their path can send them into relapse.

      I agree that self evaluation is a must. I think the beginnings of the breakthrough start there. However, being honest with yourself about your expectations and goals is integral to the process. Also, allowing failure is essential. It may very well be that success of any magnitude is merely reducing the frequency of failure between increased frequency of attempts.

      Sorry if this rant veered off topic. It made sense at the time. 🙂

    24. Often it seems like it is so black and white, and it'd be a lot easier if it was. If you really desire change, you make the change, if you don't want it bad enough you don't. However life, like driving or flying, is constant course correction.

      This makes an interesting case for goal setting. Of course setting goals is important, but how stringent or specific should we be on the outcomes? Some people set specific goals, and don't hit them, and then beat themselves up and surrender altogether. Many outside forces tell them "you just didn't want it BAD enough." So, after a few of those, it makes every process of starting anew even harder. People can go in with full intention of beginning a new life, but if "failure is not an option" they may quit before getting started.

      I can only imagine battling addiction could be an extreme example of this. Kind of like how AA treats alcoholics by telling them they are and always will be alcoholics. If they never believe they can be "cured" then any slip up on their path can send them into relapse.

      I agree that self evaluation is a must. I think the beginnings of the breakthrough start there. However, being honest with yourself about your expectations and goals is integral to the process. Also, allowing failure is essential. It may very well be that success of any magnitude is merely reducing the frequency of failure between increased frequency of attempts.

      Sorry if this rant veered off topic. It made sense at the time. 🙂

    25. So where is the problem ? Why do we lia ? how can we solve this ? What do we need to re-evaluate ?

      I realy suck on this one. Most times i'm saying : i'm going to do this ... and i just dont.

      1.  @million dollar Good questions! How much do you really want the things you talk about and you're not doing then? is it ok to delay the start of the diet? Do you know yourself enough or can you even trust yourself enough?
        do you want to go to bed every night knowing you did the best you can?

    26. So where is the problem ? Why do we lia ? how can we solve this ? What do we need to re-evaluate ?

      I realy suck on this one. Most times i'm saying : i'm going to do this ... and i just dont.

    27. Cognitive Dissonance. I am still reading "Atlas Shrugged". I am almost finished. It's really making me crazy. It requires lots of processing. Although, now that I am almost through it, I get it. I think I may understand you better now.

      Cognitive dissonance is what people experience when they say one thing and do another. Inevitably, to reach a state of internal integrity, you have to give up one or the other. Otherwise, emotions like shame and depression could take root. I guess you could find a way that two incongruous activities make sense. Ignorance protects us from cognitive dissonance also. But, usually it is a self told lie or self made misunderstanding or not functioning at our highest conscious level.

      Sometimes we want something, but we don't know how to get it or do it. So we say it hoping our actions will follow suit. But, in the end we are just not ready. Readiness relies on the work we do. The work we do relies on perseverance, support, faith, love, and the amount of chocolate one keeps on hand at any given time.

      As for shame and guilt, sometimes they lead us into depression. But, sometimes they are the emotional cue that something is not right. Even depression can lead someone to a better path, no one wants to stay depressed.

    28. Cognitive Dissonance. I am still reading "Atlas Shrugged". I am almost finished. It's really making me crazy. It requires lots of processing. Although, now that I am almost through it, I get it. I think I may understand you better now.

      Cognitive dissonance is what people experience when they say one thing and do another. Inevitably, to reach a state of internal integrity, you have to give up one or the other. Otherwise, emotions like shame and depression could take root. I guess you could find a way that two incongruous activities make sense. Ignorance protects us from cognitive dissonance also. But, usually it is a self told lie or self made misunderstanding or not functioning at our highest conscious level.

      Sometimes we want something, but we don't know how to get it or do it. So we say it hoping our actions will follow suit. But, in the end we are just not ready. Readiness relies on the work we do. The work we do relies on perseverance, support, faith, love, and the amount of chocolate one keeps on hand at any given time.

      As for shame and guilt, sometimes they lead us into depression. But, sometimes they are the emotional cue that something is not right. Even depression can lead someone to a better path, no one wants to stay depressed.

    29. As a person who gives this stuff a lot of my conscious thought, I fail miserably in this area. In all areas of what I know I should be doing, I truly struggle with this.

      But what is someone to do, but continue to push forward until it takes.

      To simply give up regardless of "the start and stop" activity that most of us fall into to is the ultimate failure. There are certainly some underlying thoughts processes that will hold people back from doing what they know they should be doing but the only way to uncover that is to continue to move forward while carefully trying to find those thoughts that we have slightly under the surface that are not serving us.

      To give up is to fail completely.

      JC

    30. As a person who gives this stuff a lot of my conscious thought, I fail miserably in this area. In all areas of what I know I should be doing, I truly struggle with this.

      But what is someone to do, but continue to push forward until it takes.

      To simply give up regardless of "the start and stop" activity that most of us fall into to is the ultimate failure. There are certainly some underlying thoughts processes that will hold people back from doing what they know they should be doing but the only way to uncover that is to continue to move forward while carefully trying to find those thoughts that we have slightly under the surface that are not serving us.

      To give up is to fail completely.

      JC

    31. This topic really made me think, and I realize that I say so many things, make so many goals and commitments, but when it comes time to take the action necessary to fulfill those goals and commitments, I sometimes don't follow through. And the reason is that I don't accept failure. I say that I know failures are stepping stones to success, but when I really take a close look at my values and actions, I really don't want to fail at all.

      I'm really happy I read this, I really needed it. Today, I went to make invite calls, but when it came time to pick up the phone, I stared at my contact list for two hours, and only made 7 calls. I always thought the reason was I didn't fully understand why I was doing it, or my goal, but I think it's the fear of failure that's holding me back from taking the action.

      Any suggestion on overcoming that fear? Or suggestions on persevering through it?

      1. @EricJBrennan Eric: what is it that you are going to lose when you pick up the phone only 7 times instead of 21 times? if there is a failur-rate at all, the per-centage will be the same. Fact. Let me ask indiretcly: is your goal too big? or is it too small? Do you go step by step or is it the huge mountain that you want to climb at once?

    32. This topic really made me think, and I realize that I say so many things, make so many goals and commitments, but when it comes time to take the action necessary to fulfill those goals and commitments, I sometimes don't follow through. And the reason is that I don't accept failure. I say that I know failures are stepping stones to success, but when I really take a close look at my values and actions, I really don't want to fail at all.

      I'm really happy I read this, I really needed it. Today, I went to make invite calls, but when it came time to pick up the phone, I stared at my contact list for two hours, and only made 7 calls. I always thought the reason was I didn't fully understand why I was doing it, or my goal, but I think it's the fear of failure that's holding me back from taking the action.

      Any suggestion on overcoming that fear? Or suggestions on persevering through it?

    33. @EricJBrennan Eric: what is it that you are going to lose when you pick up the phone only 7 times instead of 21 times? if there is a failur-rate at all, the per-centage will be the same. Fact. Let me ask indiretcly: is your goal too big? or is it too small? Do you go step by step or is it the huge mountain that you want to climb at once?

    34. If I say something, I have the urge to make it happen. I can't stop thinking and I feel guilty if I say something and do nothing about it. We're pretty much lying to ourselves that way. I'd rather live life free rather than knowing at some point, I lie to myself for a living.

    35. If I say something, I have the urge to make it happen. I can't stop thinking and I feel guilty if I say something and do nothing about it. We're pretty much lying to ourselves that way. I'd rather live life free rather than knowing at some point, I lie to myself for a living.

    36. Good Point Randy, unfortunately the level of commitment is always a bit more than people are willing to work through. Change take time, commitment and patience and unless one realizes this before they start they will soon get discouraged.

      1.  @Doug_Alp Great point Doug I couldn't agree more. Change starts with the decision to be committed. Once that decision goes from our head into our heart it's game over! 

    37. Good Point Randy, unfortunately the level of commitment is always a bit more than people are willing to work through. Change take time, commitment and patience and unless one realizes this before they start they will soon get discouraged.

    38.  @million dollar Good questions! How much do you really want the things you talk about and you're not doing then? is it ok to delay the start of the diet? Do you know yourself enough or can you even trust yourself enough?
      do you want to go to bed every night knowing you did the best you can?

    39. This post reminds me of the Slight Edge principal. When we set goals for our selves we should involve action steps in their simplest terms. Like reading a self development book for at least 10 minutes a day. Sounds pretty simple to do right? I mean if you are reading this post I know the actual reading part is a no brainer. Finding 10 minutes in your day is probably just as simple. There in lies the problem. This small task that is so easy to do on the other side of the coin is just as easy NOT to do. That is where I believe most of us fail. Keeping this principal in mind has helped me tremendously in persuing my prosperity. Thanks again Randy for the thought provoking post!! LIVE RICH!

    40. This post reminds me of the Slight Edge principal. When we set goals for our selves we should involve action steps in their simplest terms. Like reading a self development book for at least 10 minutes a day. Sounds pretty simple to do right? I mean if you are reading this post I know the actual reading part is a no brainer. Finding 10 minutes in your day is probably just as simple. There in lies the problem. This small task that is so easy to do on the other side of the coin is just as easy NOT to do. That is where I believe most of us fail. Keeping this principal in mind has helped me tremendously in persuing my prosperity. Thanks again Randy for the thought provoking post!! LIVE RICH!

    41.  @Doug_Alp Great point Doug I couldn't agree more. Change starts with the decision to be committed. Once that decision goes from our head into our heart it's game over! 

    42. Great thought; As I often say "Be true to yourself and everything else will fall into place".

    43. I rather be free than imprisoned by my own self imposed lack and limitations.. If I need to make corrects, I must know.

    44. I rather be free than imprisoned by my own self imposed lack and limitations.. If I need to make corrects, I must know.

    45. @Nikki - that's the way to go! I agree with you on that.

      It's better to be free rather than live life full of guilt and a life of a lie.

    46. @Nikki - that's the way to go! I agree with you on that.

      It's better to be free rather than live life full of guilt and a life of a lie.

    47. Hi Randy,
      Indeed, lying to your self! It reminds me every year after newyear when I take the iniative 'to stop smoking' or getting that 'amazing body' lool...
       
      Kind regards
      Tasha Smith - treatment for depression reviewer
       

    48. Hi Randy,
      Indeed, lying to your self! It reminds me every year after newyear when I take the iniative 'to stop smoking' or getting that 'amazing body' lool...
       
      Kind regards
      Tasha Smith - treatment for depression reviewer
       

    Leave a Reply

    Your email address will not be published.

    This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

    © 2020 Prosperity Factory, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Legal Information, Sitemap, Site by PrimeConcepts