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Knowing When to Quit

Posted By: Randy GageMay 25, 2009

So when do you quit?  I mean when do you know it is the right time to walk away from something or someone?

The question certainly has a different answer for different situations and circumstances.  The answer would probably be different if we’re talking about giving up on someone you love versus a business venture that is failing.

For everyday ventures and business ventures, I usually go with a “three strikes and you’re out” approach.  Maybe that comes from my love of baseball.  But it seems to work well for me.

Examples of this would be when I wanted to rent a particular office, buy a piece of property, or starting a new business venture.  I just figure if I encounter obstacles that stop me three times in a row – the universe is trying to tell me something.

I believe an essential element of success is knowing when you should fold your cards, and look for the next deal.  Time after time I see people holding on to a bad plan, a business that’s not viable or a flawed concept – when they should have abandoned it.

Of course I often see people clinging to failed, dysfunctional relationships that block the highest good of both parties too.

So what have you been holding on to – that you should be releasing?  Give that some serious thought and please share your thoughts below.  And next post we’ll look at when you should never quit!

Here in the U.S., today is Memorial Day.  So I hope you take time out to say a prayer for our troops in harm's way, and remember our Vets.

-RG

23 comments on “Knowing When to Quit”

  1. Hello Randy
    Some say quitting is not an option.
    Sometimes it's the only option.
    You must detach yourself from chatter.
    Create a quiet peacful environment and
    meditate and pray for wisdom.
    Ask the Creator to provide the path you should choose.
    It may hurt now, but the truth shall set you free.
    Peace

  2. I agree Randy, I see so many people hold on to something out of loyalty and not out of common sense. Life is about plan, do, review. And if you come to the review stage, and you determine that your actions or the place you are at is not working, then you have to change. Don't fear change, welcome it!!

  3. "Plan, do, review". Awww, that's cute! It's also very true though. I'm glad that I've learned when to quit, especially with love relationships. I've also used my "plan do review" skills in business and I haven't had any regrets.

  4. Hi Randy and all people who read this blog.
    Randy, its about “three strikes and you are out”.
    I have the following problem. I have never expected that it will be the problem.
    I have made in one county drivers license. But I had no experience after that.
    Now I moved to live to another country. And here I have to confirm my current drivers license. To confirm how - to make again examination – theoretical and practical. And here starts everything.
    Theoretical I have done from the first trial without single mistake.
    But practical.... First time I failed. Cos I was in such stupor that I drove into oncoming traffic line by turning left (as out of the blue i thought i am on one way road, but i was obviously not!). This I have never done before.
    Second time I failed again. Cos again I was in stupor and drove through STOP-sign. What an idiot can miss that big red sign!…. Aha… Now its getting really funny. Do not know, cry or laugh about myself.
    And now im waiting for the third time that is coming very soon…
    I can not say that I drive so awful… but mostly I have not enough self-concentration….. But I really want to make this driving license and to get me a car.. So what im doing wrong? Do I have already negative programming inside me that makes me fail? I really do not know what to think about all this. But I do not want to give up.

  5. I like this subject and also the one you want to adress tomorrow...
    Knowing when to quit... if only we would listen to our inner self better. But sometimes we feel we have to give it another chance.
    I know some people do that because they have so much invested in it and I don't mean (only) money in this case but specially a lot of energy. And this statement goes for personal relationships as well as for business ventures.
    On the other hand I do believe that a lot of people quit (anything) much to early, just because it is easier...

  6. Quit or take massive action - Sitting around or beating around the bush is damaging.... this could be weeks of not getting paid, not growing or not moving forward with your life.

    Memorial Day? Quit and Enjoy!

  7. I do not quit easy in business - I am always trying new things - looking for JV partners that work better for me and stop working on things that are not leading me up and hold me back.

    and how about you ?

  8. hey! easier said than done.....after sooo many years it not easy to let go of the relayionships,specialy when you ve kids involved.also how do you know exactly when .

  9. I want to quit my job. No I don't have another job. But I don't have any kids, a husband, a house. I live with my dad, but I do need the medical insurance. My job is draining me or Im just tired of it. I know I can find a new one but I just want out of this life. Anyway, I think Im going to listen to your theory and see about the three strikes Im out with this job. Im going to seriously look for a new job this week and if it doesn't come easy, I guess it's meant for me to stay at this low-paying, yet Im grateful for my draining job...LOL
    Sorry to sound like Debbie Downer...LOL
    But hey, I gotta be me...LOL
    Thanks

  10. Interesting that you would post this commentary. And even MORE relevant is the fact that just this week I wrote to a business partner that I felt it necessary to move on since the project in development was going nowhere. The 'three strikes' approach sort of applied in that the partner I mention is the sort than never answers his phone or returns calls, nor did he rarely even reply to email about the project we were working on. So rather than belabor it I simply told him the timing was bad for me and that I had another project I was far more passionate about. And I do!

    He actually DID reply to that email and agreed his plate was too full. Whether it is or not, isn't important. I simply decided it was time to move on.

    Thanks Randy!

  11. This is one of the most interesting subjects, Randy. In short, I rely on my gift/spirit of discernment that God has given me (us) through the experiences I was given in the past - sometimes through mistakes, trials and hardships in life which after all became His gifts and blessings of knowing him on a personal level through those experiences.

    I normally know the right decision at the beginning. Period. So, I will continue on until I get it, no matter what. In other times, when a new goal that I begin to go for is still unclear and foggy, I wouldn't quit right away, but I hold on to a situation, regardless of all the questionable similar incidents that might take place related to this particular situation, and still holding on, contiuing on continuing on as I observe to see if circumstances worth my persistance and attentions. I might go through about three similar questionable incidents, but when the fourth similar incidient comes around, and when I see a thing or a person's value system not coinciding with mine regarding the principle which is to "put others or things first in front of you in love," only then in confidence I will let go of a situation knowing that I made the right decision in peace. The situation could well be a business deal or a person(s) that I may be confronting with. I'm aware by now that God has his own will for each one of his children, and we know his will through the gift/spirit of discernment that he's given us regarding the things/situations that we deal with in our lives, and that's the way we grow in knowledge, wisdom, love, and faith, and getting to know our Maker personally.

    This was one of the most interesting subjects, Randy. I tend to write a lengthy comment, due to the English language being my second language. lol I stop here before it gets very long... lol .

    I look forward to your next blog. Thank you, Randy.

  12. When you get into a new business, plan your exit strategy as well. Or at least identify the criteria to leave that venture behind you, way before you get too emotionally invested.
    I wish it was that easy to say in relationship...

  13. I do mistakes, sometimes again and again. It faces me to a problem I should think it over. And analyse. If I do nothing - see the previouse. How many times? It depends upon the situation. But I have a plan. I do realyse it. And ask to help the universe.
    Thanks Randy for your books. It helps me great.

  14. Hi Randy,

    Interesting topic today. I like your "three strikes and you are out" approach for business deals etc. Maybe that's because I too am a baseball fan from way back.

    When it comes to relationships I have a different approach. As long as there is continuing growth and a desire to expand both as a couple and as individuals COMBINED with taking responsibility by each party for what they are or are not creating, I think the relationship still has fuel.

    If you ask the right questions and the answers feel downstream most of the time that is the best sign. If the answers always feel upstream and you have had it with swimming against the tide it is probably time to shake hands and walk away as cleanly as possible. Not pointing the finger works best for getting to the truth quickly and honestly. One of my favorite things to remember is that wherever you go there you are so it is best to fix oneself first and then see what sticks and what doesn't. Focus on what you do want not what you don't and be in touch with your feelings.

    Minus blame, guilt, manipulation and controlling behavior; the choice that is best for both should be fairly obvious.

  15. I like the comments. Lots to think about. I should give up on the website. I don't have a good exit strategy - i.e. how do I recoup my losses, what else can I market, should I give the marketing more time? Lots of questions, not sure where the answers are. (I believe in praying for God's guidance, but the finer points of website commerce are not exactly spelled out in the Bible.) Thanks for listening!

  16. How do I decide if things are just bumps in the road or real problems- when I am calculating the three strikes? I don't want to quit a good thing because I am making a big thing out of minor bumps in the road. (I know I have a continuing habit of making mountians out of molehills, but also of tolerating much more than I need to). Suggestions?

  17. HI RANDY

    I think that you have 3 optios Win, Quit or Re-invented yourself or what you were doing. Example, If you have a business and it's not working you try it again but changing the way you used to do things or maybe change the name of your business or changing the cover of you product or something like that.

  18. In a business way, There is a clear and purposeful point about aborting an activity or project.

    In a personal relationship, there are behaviours to alter or end, and their is a promise, life covenant which requires not a singular effort, but a cooperative effort between the individual and his Creator, to love as you are loved. This effort ends with the individuals dying breath.

    This life journey takes one down a path of learning, on might not otherwize have encountered, that is a key loss.

    Peace. Jim

  19. I'm know I'm still holding on to a relationship I physically left 6 months ago. My head and heart are still in battle over it. My rational mind knows it was the right decision but my emotional mind still keeps thinking about it, both the good parts and the bad.

  20. "never quit" is a paradigm that gets drilled into us. It's a good thing, but it needs to be kept in check. Successful business owners and investors know that quitting can be the best move. Knowing when to quit is essential. doing it unemotionally and with confidence that you can move on to something better...is essential. Not having that confidence...that's why so many people go down with the ship even though they have the talent and resources to make soemthing better of themselves.

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  • 23 comments on “Knowing When to Quit”

    1. Hello Randy
      Some say quitting is not an option.
      Sometimes it's the only option.
      You must detach yourself from chatter.
      Create a quiet peacful environment and
      meditate and pray for wisdom.
      Ask the Creator to provide the path you should choose.
      It may hurt now, but the truth shall set you free.
      Peace

    2. I agree Randy, I see so many people hold on to something out of loyalty and not out of common sense. Life is about plan, do, review. And if you come to the review stage, and you determine that your actions or the place you are at is not working, then you have to change. Don't fear change, welcome it!!

    3. "Plan, do, review". Awww, that's cute! It's also very true though. I'm glad that I've learned when to quit, especially with love relationships. I've also used my "plan do review" skills in business and I haven't had any regrets.

    4. Hi Randy and all people who read this blog.
      Randy, its about “three strikes and you are out”.
      I have the following problem. I have never expected that it will be the problem.
      I have made in one county drivers license. But I had no experience after that.
      Now I moved to live to another country. And here I have to confirm my current drivers license. To confirm how - to make again examination – theoretical and practical. And here starts everything.
      Theoretical I have done from the first trial without single mistake.
      But practical.... First time I failed. Cos I was in such stupor that I drove into oncoming traffic line by turning left (as out of the blue i thought i am on one way road, but i was obviously not!). This I have never done before.
      Second time I failed again. Cos again I was in stupor and drove through STOP-sign. What an idiot can miss that big red sign!…. Aha… Now its getting really funny. Do not know, cry or laugh about myself.
      And now im waiting for the third time that is coming very soon…
      I can not say that I drive so awful… but mostly I have not enough self-concentration….. But I really want to make this driving license and to get me a car.. So what im doing wrong? Do I have already negative programming inside me that makes me fail? I really do not know what to think about all this. But I do not want to give up.

    5. I like this subject and also the one you want to adress tomorrow...
      Knowing when to quit... if only we would listen to our inner self better. But sometimes we feel we have to give it another chance.
      I know some people do that because they have so much invested in it and I don't mean (only) money in this case but specially a lot of energy. And this statement goes for personal relationships as well as for business ventures.
      On the other hand I do believe that a lot of people quit (anything) much to early, just because it is easier...

    6. Quit or take massive action - Sitting around or beating around the bush is damaging.... this could be weeks of not getting paid, not growing or not moving forward with your life.

      Memorial Day? Quit and Enjoy!

    7. I do not quit easy in business - I am always trying new things - looking for JV partners that work better for me and stop working on things that are not leading me up and hold me back.

      and how about you ?

    8. hey! easier said than done.....after sooo many years it not easy to let go of the relayionships,specialy when you ve kids involved.also how do you know exactly when .

    9. I want to quit my job. No I don't have another job. But I don't have any kids, a husband, a house. I live with my dad, but I do need the medical insurance. My job is draining me or Im just tired of it. I know I can find a new one but I just want out of this life. Anyway, I think Im going to listen to your theory and see about the three strikes Im out with this job. Im going to seriously look for a new job this week and if it doesn't come easy, I guess it's meant for me to stay at this low-paying, yet Im grateful for my draining job...LOL
      Sorry to sound like Debbie Downer...LOL
      But hey, I gotta be me...LOL
      Thanks

    10. Interesting that you would post this commentary. And even MORE relevant is the fact that just this week I wrote to a business partner that I felt it necessary to move on since the project in development was going nowhere. The 'three strikes' approach sort of applied in that the partner I mention is the sort than never answers his phone or returns calls, nor did he rarely even reply to email about the project we were working on. So rather than belabor it I simply told him the timing was bad for me and that I had another project I was far more passionate about. And I do!

      He actually DID reply to that email and agreed his plate was too full. Whether it is or not, isn't important. I simply decided it was time to move on.

      Thanks Randy!

    11. This is one of the most interesting subjects, Randy. In short, I rely on my gift/spirit of discernment that God has given me (us) through the experiences I was given in the past - sometimes through mistakes, trials and hardships in life which after all became His gifts and blessings of knowing him on a personal level through those experiences.

      I normally know the right decision at the beginning. Period. So, I will continue on until I get it, no matter what. In other times, when a new goal that I begin to go for is still unclear and foggy, I wouldn't quit right away, but I hold on to a situation, regardless of all the questionable similar incidents that might take place related to this particular situation, and still holding on, contiuing on continuing on as I observe to see if circumstances worth my persistance and attentions. I might go through about three similar questionable incidents, but when the fourth similar incidient comes around, and when I see a thing or a person's value system not coinciding with mine regarding the principle which is to "put others or things first in front of you in love," only then in confidence I will let go of a situation knowing that I made the right decision in peace. The situation could well be a business deal or a person(s) that I may be confronting with. I'm aware by now that God has his own will for each one of his children, and we know his will through the gift/spirit of discernment that he's given us regarding the things/situations that we deal with in our lives, and that's the way we grow in knowledge, wisdom, love, and faith, and getting to know our Maker personally.

      This was one of the most interesting subjects, Randy. I tend to write a lengthy comment, due to the English language being my second language. lol I stop here before it gets very long... lol .

      I look forward to your next blog. Thank you, Randy.

    12. When you get into a new business, plan your exit strategy as well. Or at least identify the criteria to leave that venture behind you, way before you get too emotionally invested.
      I wish it was that easy to say in relationship...

    13. I do mistakes, sometimes again and again. It faces me to a problem I should think it over. And analyse. If I do nothing - see the previouse. How many times? It depends upon the situation. But I have a plan. I do realyse it. And ask to help the universe.
      Thanks Randy for your books. It helps me great.

    14. Hi Randy,

      Interesting topic today. I like your "three strikes and you are out" approach for business deals etc. Maybe that's because I too am a baseball fan from way back.

      When it comes to relationships I have a different approach. As long as there is continuing growth and a desire to expand both as a couple and as individuals COMBINED with taking responsibility by each party for what they are or are not creating, I think the relationship still has fuel.

      If you ask the right questions and the answers feel downstream most of the time that is the best sign. If the answers always feel upstream and you have had it with swimming against the tide it is probably time to shake hands and walk away as cleanly as possible. Not pointing the finger works best for getting to the truth quickly and honestly. One of my favorite things to remember is that wherever you go there you are so it is best to fix oneself first and then see what sticks and what doesn't. Focus on what you do want not what you don't and be in touch with your feelings.

      Minus blame, guilt, manipulation and controlling behavior; the choice that is best for both should be fairly obvious.

    15. I like the comments. Lots to think about. I should give up on the website. I don't have a good exit strategy - i.e. how do I recoup my losses, what else can I market, should I give the marketing more time? Lots of questions, not sure where the answers are. (I believe in praying for God's guidance, but the finer points of website commerce are not exactly spelled out in the Bible.) Thanks for listening!

    16. How do I decide if things are just bumps in the road or real problems- when I am calculating the three strikes? I don't want to quit a good thing because I am making a big thing out of minor bumps in the road. (I know I have a continuing habit of making mountians out of molehills, but also of tolerating much more than I need to). Suggestions?

    17. HI RANDY

      I think that you have 3 optios Win, Quit or Re-invented yourself or what you were doing. Example, If you have a business and it's not working you try it again but changing the way you used to do things or maybe change the name of your business or changing the cover of you product or something like that.

    18. In a business way, There is a clear and purposeful point about aborting an activity or project.

      In a personal relationship, there are behaviours to alter or end, and their is a promise, life covenant which requires not a singular effort, but a cooperative effort between the individual and his Creator, to love as you are loved. This effort ends with the individuals dying breath.

      This life journey takes one down a path of learning, on might not otherwize have encountered, that is a key loss.

      Peace. Jim

    19. I'm know I'm still holding on to a relationship I physically left 6 months ago. My head and heart are still in battle over it. My rational mind knows it was the right decision but my emotional mind still keeps thinking about it, both the good parts and the bad.

    20. "never quit" is a paradigm that gets drilled into us. It's a good thing, but it needs to be kept in check. Successful business owners and investors know that quitting can be the best move. Knowing when to quit is essential. doing it unemotionally and with confidence that you can move on to something better...is essential. Not having that confidence...that's why so many people go down with the ship even though they have the talent and resources to make soemthing better of themselves.

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