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Is It Really Your Vision?

Posted By: Randy GageFebruary 6, 2011

Amazing discussion going on the last post about The Vision that Pulls You to Greatness. And a great question by Rishkin who asks what to do if your vision doesn’t make you happy.

My thoughts are that then it may not be the right vision.  How many people become attorneys because their father and grandfather were attorneys?    How many kids pursue sports or some other field because their parents pushed them into it, hoping the child would fulfill the dream the parent never did?

How many people are doing something that doesn’t excite them because a teacher or counselor convinced them that was the only thing they were qualified for?

So the real question to ask is:  Is my vision really mine?

-RG

40 comments on “Is It Really Your Vision?”

  1. This question offers a stark wake-up call the first time we ask it. I know I've been in several different places over the last few years where I had to answer it and thought I was on point.

    Then I realized I was way off.

    Now, in seeking to seize something completely my own, I've stripped away everything to see what the foundation was -- the basic "why" -- and am stunned.

    I see what shaped my career choices and have accepted, as I said to a friend the other day, "Your 'why' can't be 'to make more money' because that's not really a heartfelt pursuit." So, I'm asking myself what that is and pushing aside the old programming that begs to know how I'll eat the elephant without acknowledging it's just a matter of little bites.

  2. i`ve met a lot of people, mostly students who dont like their universities, `cause it was parents decision about where they should study.

    I always say to that people thats it is never too late to change smth in their life. Very good topic, if we want to be successful, we should do the things we love to do!

    Oles Timofeev,
    Ukrain, Kiev

  3. The first rule of parenting emerging adults should be that kids can listen to the call of their own hearts and don't need a helicopter mom to point out due north. We flourish in life when we follow our own hearts!

  4. This is so true Randy, I have had a vision for myself and it has been derailed in the past because of the input of others, especially family.
    I take full responsibility for putting my vision aside and even that may have meaning, as I have learnt so much elsewhere that is relevant to my vision.
    I don't regret the path I have taken but I am making the most of the knowledge that I have gained
    The bizarre thing is that life has brought me back to my vision on more than one occasion, I am now working towards fore filling a vision, it's early days and already starting to take on a momentum of it's own.
    I love being alive and having this dream taking formation next to my current employment, with the realizable goal of it becoming our provider and wholly likely to enable us to be more philanthropic in the future adds a deep and stimulating energy to the adventure.
    It's not the goal but the journey, but one can't exist without the other.
    Thanks for the inspiration.

    1. Hi Steve

      I totally agree for too long I have listened to the people around me stating the age old mantra fit in and you'll do ok don't try to be different you'll only attract trouble. This has held me back for so many years.

      These people are no longer in my life and whilst my family are finding some of my changes different they are encouraging me to go for it.

      I have been gradually building myself back up and defining my vision it is getting clearer every day and I know when I'm on the right path because I feel happy challenged and excited. On the occasion I don't I know I have drifted from my purpose I stop reassess and shift back to where I should be It can be hard sometimes to avoid the distractions but its getting easier.

      Your gut is a really good compass tune into your true feelings and allow your higher self to guide you.

      Brian

  5. Yes Randy, the vision I made is definately mine.´I'm so greatfull for this. As soon as I let go of "stop daydreaming", "be real" and a few others, it completely opened up to vision my future and completely vision how a perfect day would look, no holding back - that is really awesome. You know comparing my surroundings as it is today and this perfect day, I feel completely "misplaced" from the beginning of my life, if you can follow me.
    Thank You!
    Lene

  6. Thankfully my parents didn't interfere in my or my sister's career choices. We had complete freedom to choose whatever we wanted. My Dad actually encouraged me to think out of the accountant/lawyer/doctor square. As it turns out, I'm now studying accounting. But that's after many years of work experience and working in the accounting field. I've discovered that I actually really like it and now I enjoy what I'm learning.

  7. I know my vision is mine. I don't know that my husband and I share the same vision. Or rather, I should say I often feel he wants to hang on the coattails of my vision and call it his own once I succeed. Am I being too Little Red Hen about this? If he's coming along for the ride, then he needs to share in the driving...

    I find my self quoting Mr. Incredible a lot, that moment when Bob is checked out and his wife is screaming, "Engage Bob! Engage!" My husband doesn't think it's funny. Sadly, neither do I.

  8. this is so true...

    A parent or counsellor or close friend will subconciosly recommend the vision they want but can not have.

    therfore alot of the time, you end up living somebody elses vision

    you cannot be brilliant in this environment as belief from the outside cant last..

    to be brilliant u need to do what ur passionate about...

  9. I think that is the most important question in life. That question should be ask ourself constantly, to confirm or to see what we really want. So many people choose the dreams of their parents, just because it is a family tradition. They thougth that if they change the tradition the were the worst person in the family but they are not choosing their oun happiness.

  10. YES - i have made the mistake and am making the mistake of someone else vision.

    I think our vision should make us TRULY happy.

    I think true happiness comes from when our heart sees loving things, beautiful things, pleasant things. And then the heart says 'i like these things because they make me happy, they add to my life, they make things more beautiful and comfortable, they add and enhance my life and my loved ones life." This is true happiness and good vision when the heart has vision for this puprose.

    I think bad vision come from when the ego see good things, beautiful things, loving things and wants to acquire it for the wrong reasons. When the ego wants to reach a vision not for heartfelt reasons but to appear better than others and to gain attention and feel important or to play it safe or please. all of these reasons come from fear and lack mentality.

    so i think we have to ask ourselves if our vision is generated from the insecurities of the ego or from the pure desire of the heart.

    the source of these visions are the most important. is the source love? or is the source fear. we only hear the vision so the bad source can go undetected. even when we dig for the source it will hide away.

    we must search layer after layer with truth by our side to find out if the visions source is fear or love. if it is fear, the vision will never be achieved because fear is a motivator, but will only ever keep you alive, only ever allow you to survive. it cannot fuel the journey to a grand vision, only love will do this. fear has a force of push.............it will push you. love has the force of pull. love requires the person to walk.
    the legs of fear are in built into our DNA, that is why we are so good at surviving. so the legs of fear start to walk when we are at risk of not surviving. which is why it will keep you alive and not thrive cos half way to thrive its out of risk of not surviving and the legs of fear stop.

    love energy will cause the legs to keep walking to the vision when fear stops fuelling.

    the love energy from service that feeds the heart and not the ego. the sacrificial service is no good, because sacrificial means something is dying and death is no good. and the work done through this sacrifical service is tainted with guilt. the service must add to the giver and receiver, this is good service.
    i work for my kids because i love my kids and i love my work. this is good for everyone. Good for the worker. Good for the kids. Good for the company being worked for.
    I put up with my work because its my duty to provide. this is bad for everyone. the worker, the kids, the company.

    i believe the grand visions can only be achieved when visions are originated from love and i believe love is only truly possible when multiple hearts connected. i cannot sit at home all alone and be in love. I believe the one or thing or whatever who created this knew that lasting and complete truly grand visions only created when multiple hearts are connected. so i think the visions need to go out of our indivual self and onto the love of others BUT it must be into their love to, or else you'll be sucking in their lack, fear and insecurity back into you. and then everyone will be unhappy.

    so dont make any mistakes, material things are good with the right energies attached to them. A mansion with a swimming pool and a tennis court is great vision if it gives your heart joys to watch ur family enjoy these nice things. it has the love energy attached to it. the vision will be good and more chances of prospering because the love energy is attached to it.

    if u want the mansion to show off to your neighbour and make him feel ugly the energy is attached to this is fear, and lack. the cision will lose its legs and will be very hard to materialise.

    when these energies sometimes change, circumstances can change. we must keep the heart pure so we can achieve the good goals and visions. Pure hearts can be recognised when they are connected with multiple hearts ffor common purposes/visions.

    I am continuing to walk my journey. RG youtube channel and this discussions are helpoing me a lot. I wish to have many things in my life. I will keep my dream alive and learn every step of the way. I have a long way to go and am committed. I am loving my journey there. I think loving the journey is important.

    please tell me if i was wrong anywhere. I will change my thinking to make it right. everything ccant be right, there could be many things wrong with everyones thinking

    1. My dear Dan. Life is like a buffet. You are allowed to choose the life YOU want to live. Here, there is no right or wrong. You only have to follow your wonderful emotions and they will never take you astray. These words taken from 'Abraham' (Abraham-Hicks)changed (or should I say 'began' the change in MY life: "You are not here to try to get the world to be just as you want it to be. You are here to create the world around you that YOU choose while you allow the world as others choose it to be to exist also." ... "The basis of your life is freedom ... the purpose of your life is joy"

      1. Venetta,
        thanks for your reply.

        I do not totally agree with you when you say "You only have to follow your wonderful emotions and they will never take you astray". I think when we honour our feelings we can neglect our values." values must be consciously chosen or else we may take on wrong values that will lead us to banging heads onto brick walls.
        Feelings change, we are emotional rollercoasters and this can missalign with our values. so i believe we can follow these emotions into deep dark depths.
        Also with choice when we choose one thing we dont choose another. we cannot have both the blue pill and the red pill. we cannot choose hate and experience love. we can choose laziness and live displined.

        I also believe life is not absolute choice like a buffet.

        we can have choice of the causes we set in motion, but never the effects of those causes as those effects are set and attached to the cause.
        Essentially what I believe is if you choose the life you want, you must walk in a certain space to manifest, as the envisioned life is the effect. the relationship must exist between the envisioned destination and the path, whether the path has been made or yet to be made, the relationship must be there.

      1. Dan, I am totally confused by your response and, Randy, even more confused that you 'love' where he's going with this. I really must be missing something here and would love some clarity. I began my journey two years ago. Before that, I lived the life of a victim. I have just started following Randy's blog and it seems to me that Randy's teachings are about 'love' and helping us to love ourselves ... find our worthiness ... find OUR vision ... and 'undo' all of those things that keep us in the 'lack virus' mentality. With that in mind, how on earth can you begin to 'walk in love' and that turn against your values and send you to the 'deep dark depths'? It just seems to me that as you become 'enlightened' and walk toward 'the light' your emotions STRENGTHEN your values, your respect for your own life and the lives around you. Parents who are walking in love will honor their own vision and guide their children lovingly toward THEIR vision. If a person's heart is filled with love is there room for hate? Yes, life is a choice. One of my favorite choices that Randy gives us is 'Victim or Victor' ... in my humble opinion it IS about choice and we ARE free to choose which road we take and if we choose the road to 'victor' we must be filled with love and the relationship that we have with love is what will give us a solid path to our destination.

        1. Hi Venetta,
          I believe we are both talking about similar concepts and you have a great way of thinking. Though when we communicate, or when I am communicating I dont think your receiving the communication the way I intended.

          Just to briefly clarify:
          I meant to say we should always honour our values first and foremost. Because our values are unattached from feelings and emotions. Feelings and emotions are like double edged swords. they could work for us or against us. If we value health and put that as priority 1 we will exercise no matter what. on the other hand if we are feeliing tired and lazy one day and like health, but our emotions/feelings are saying "stay in bed, its more comfortable" ---then by honouring our feelings we will neglect our values. re: my statement emotions are like rollercoasters. We could be FEELING energetic one day and exercise, the action is good but the fuel of action is changeable. the source is unstable. Because when we feel tired and lazy, the feeling to exercise will not be there and we wont, exposing the unstable fuel of emotions.

          re: freedom of choice. My philosophy around that comes from the law of cause and effect.

          we can choose ANY effect we want to, but when we do we need to act in a certain time and space. For example everyone has the freedom to choose health, its your right. but as soon as you choose health, to achieve that you HAVE TO choose the specific causes to health: eg exercise, healthy eating, rest,nutrition, etc etc. you cannot choose health and choose McDonalds everyday, beer and laziness. some people will choose something like this or less obvious than this exaggerated example.

          But their conflicting beliefs will ensure they never get to their goals. they are pulling in different directions and u stay stagnant. I am eliminating many of these now, but i have many to find.

          Inversely, if you dont have goals, ie. you choose no effect, u will still be living life and hence setting causes in motion. u have free choice about any cause you set in motion, but what you have no control over is the effect of those causes. because we do not determine the effects of the causes, they are pre-defined here on this realm we're in. eg. kindness, integrity, loyalty will have an effect of trust. if we choose rudeness and abruptness and lack of patience, the negative effects will boomerang back to us automatically.

          quickly going back to the concept of realising vision through connected hearts.
          The universe was programmed for EVERYTHING to flourish and thrive with minimal casualties, even then its just a transfer of energy. The universe uses most efficient growth methods. For example the thought energy of sun wants to see all crops and trees grow. The thought energy of air wants to help all the people, all the animals and all the trees breathe. the thought energy of water wants to quench all thirst, feed all trees. EVERYTHING in universe has a WE mentality, a collective mentality. we humans are programmed to survive first and foremost, just as other life. and humans often do that with a ME mentality. this will ensure survival. this me mentality could lead to random actions, it could be neutral to everything else, it could benefit everything else or it could diminish everything else. when we do bad things that diminish everything else for our own survival, like steal, rape or cheat, we may feel happy temporarily, but it is against the will of the universe, as remember the universes will is for everything to thrive. therefore this me mentality often leads to the universe to fight back with corresponding strength. if ur a little bad it will give u a little nudge. if your very bad......knockout. i have been knocked out.

          so the we mentality is the most important mindset, because you are on the side of the universe, your purpose aligns with the ground you walk on, it aligns with the air you breathe and the sun that shines on you.....that purpose is all must thrive.
          this is why service is so important and revered in many of the teachings. Like the sun shines on all u must shine on all, like the ground holds everyone up you must hold everyone up, you must be a breath of fresh air to everyone, your words must be like fruit to feed everyone. Your ME mentality was given to you to keep yourself STRONG but not to the expense of others, thats why love was placed in us. so we must keep ourselves strong so we can keep others strong.
          and the universe loves us to love and enjoy everything but never at the cost of others.
          maybe in business they will pay us, thats fine if we give them good products, they benefit. if we give dodgy products, universe will punish us. the universe knows everything even ur thoughts and it could punish you. Just as the body knows every cell. if there is a cancer cell in the body, the body will try to punish the cancer cell. the body is punishing/destroying the cancer cell because it wants to save the rest of the body.

          im summary we must live in love and service, without harming anything. intention is very important cos we can harm with many things.

          i have a long way to go on this path. I am currently learning a lot from many great leaders like RG and others. I try to learn and teach this all the time. I am ridding my mind of bad ways and replacing them with good ways.

          1. Thanks, Dan, for the clarity. Like I said, I'm new at all this and seem to get confused easily (lol). For me it's only been a couple of years undoing a lifetime of living other people's visions ... memes ... yadda yadda yadda. It felt like we were on the same page but somehow in a different way 😉 Many teachers are teaching that 'spirit' and 'soul' are two different things ... I'm still trying to comprehend THAT one. I certainly look forward to more interaction with you. As we say in the 'south' ... hope you have a simply mahhvalus day. 🙂

          2. Hi Venetta,
            thanks for ur reply.
            from my understanding soul relates to the individual/the self. More specifically it relates to the individual thats unclouded by ego. the part of the individual i should say thats unclouded by ego. Its the part of the self that sees ITSELF as it is, it has not taken on societies impression of it. that is the soul.
            the spirit is all the power/knowledge/infinite in the universe. all that there is/was/will be.

  11. Or ... what if you were convinced that your 'vision' was a Pied Piper luring you to a certain death and you were left with no vision. I think we all know what OUR vision is ... the question is do we allow all those well meaning family and friends to steal our dreams. We seem to conform and live other people's dreams. Particularly our parents. So many times parents live vicariously through their children. Having their children DO the things THEY wanted to do rather than leading their children down the path of their own 'vision' and teaching them to 'follow their bliss'.

  12. hallo.
    ich gehöre zu der anderen seite mußte zwar auch erst beruf erlernen dann darf ich machen was ich will - so hat meine familie gesagt und jetzt habe ich Ausbildung aber keine Möglichkeit in dem job zuarbeiten aber das will ich auch nicht mehr den habe andere ziele die werde ich ertreichen wenn der weg auch nichtso leicht ist lohnt er sich doch zugehen den im leben löernt man nie aus und viele wege führen ins Ziel man muß nur wollen bis Bald

    1. Lieber Freund,
      Vielen Dank für Ihre Nachricht. Ich hoffe, was ich zu sagen habe ist für Sie relevanten und in Ihrem Leben. Ich glaube, Sie haben in sich selbst suchen, und wirklich herauszufinden, was Sie wollen. Dann sind Sie jemand, der das erreicht, was Sie hat zu finden. Finden Sie heraus, thepath nahmen. So können Sie den Pfad kennen ist richtig. Versprechen Sie alle Herzen zu folgen dem Weg und nie abweichen. Sie muss auf einem Pfad zu bleiben. Bewahren Sie keine wechselnden Wege, wie Sie nie zu etwas bringen wird. Wenn Sie Pfade ändern, müssen Sie erneut zu starten. Immer besser, so dass Sie Ihr Ziel schneller zu erreichen. Denken Sie über Ihre Vision und Alltag Geduld. Gott segne Sie, Glauben haben, hart arbeiten, große Träume und schätzen alles. Alles Gute im Leben lieber Freund.

  13. I feel that just as we are (hopefully) constantly growing and changing, so is our vision allowed to grow and develop. What you wanted to be when you grow up at age 6 can be different to 16, 26, 36, 46, 56, 66, 76, 86, 96, 106 and so on....
    We are a dynamic entity. Why should our visions be static?

  14. While I believe having your own vision is important, don't expect it to make you happy. Happiness comes first. Happiness is a precursor to success, not a result of it. Choose to be happy first and let your vision flow from this empowered state.

  15. As I read your post today I was doing a check list, Parents Vision no, Teachers or Counselor no, HMMMM maybe I was following my own Vision.... wait but I wasn't happy and my vision then was nothing like the one I am seeing and feeling and wanting now....????
    I think in my past experiences my Vision was lead by a lot of my meme's and what I thought peers and society excepted,
    I do know friends that are living parents ect visions
    But think thousands visions are highjacked by there meme's and wanting to be accepted.

  16. Great point that Brian J makes above. I think that's another part of the growth process, in that you can have a vision that moves you forward, but your vision changes during your life. It may not necessarily be that you had the wrong vision, but you evolve. I look back at the vision I had at 20..and at 30.. and today it's totally different.
    I also believe we have to guide our kids but let them ultimitely create their own vision. I did feel pressured myself at a young age to follow a certain path and it did create a lot of friction in trying to really define and follow my own vision. But with my son, after I felt I had at least instilled a great work ethic in him I gave him the freedom and time to do what was in his heart. Today, at only 25, he is running a successful business that did about 1 million last year and is growing like crazy. He better watch out for his sister though, who's still a teen but has an unbelievable fire in her!

  17. Randy.. You've hit upon a major topic as I'm sure you know. As to whether a 'vision' a young person has as they mature is theirs, I'm not sure it's a vision at all. Instead, parents will often 'persuade' a child to move in a certain direction that comes from THEIR vision, as you say. So what happens is the child isn't even in touch with their purpose and therefore holds a vision, of sorts, that's really not their own. After all how can you have a vision if you don't know what your purpose is here in the Universe? And yes, I know that people have a dream of varying degrees, but for me, our Truth and vision is connected to our purpose.

    The other major issue I see here is that parents who may have struggled in life may not offer the best vision guidance to their child either. I know of what I speak since my parents did exactly this! So I wandered aimlessly for years working to uncover my purpose and passions due to my parents stifling them to some degree.

    So yes, my all means, we MUST ask the question is the vision we hold ours and if it is, is it in alignment with our purpose?

  18. I followed what I thought was my vision at 19 for many years. Took it to quite a high level in fact. It was to be an accountant and partner in a CPA firm. While I was good at it, it turned out to not feed my soul at all. I felt like a square peg in a round hole. At 40 I decided to follow a vision that seemed far more my dream. I became a full time Realtor as did my husband and we created a business of our own together. No one else in charge of our limits and a career that allows my creative freedom and love of engaging with others. I feel our vision is absolutely key, as you've said. At youth it may not always be driven just by outsiders (parents, teachers etc) but also our lack of knowledge of the world. I think equally as important as knowing your vision is also the freedoma and lack of fear to change that vision as you get older and really define what it is you truly want. I believe as you abandon past limiting belief systems it's also natural you might discover deeper desires within youself.

    1. You hit on two very important issues:

      1) Most people don;t know their vision when they are young, as it takes some time and exploration to find.
      2) Most people fear change and so they stay on a path that isn't the one they would love.

      -RG

  19. Randy,

    I think you are right. Sometimes people go into something for the wrong reasons. I know I didn't know what else to do, so decided healthcare was a good profession.

    I do think that some people really don't know what they want until they experience certain things which give them contrast to what they do really want.

    Karen

  20. I agree with you on this one, Randy. If my vision does fully excite me, it's not my vision. I believe we settle when we are not completely excited about what we are doing on the planet and we continue to do it. My vision defines me and my purpose on the planet. It is what I feel so completely passionate about. It's what I'm willing to die for. Anything less is probably me doing what I think others will approve of me doing.
    http://www.robbbraun.com/

  21. There's also the possibility that it is your vision, but at the moment you're focused on the parts of it that are uninspiring or feel like work. It's easy to slip into paying attention to parts of the vision that evoke strong negative emotions and then taint the vision with those strong emotions. After that it's easy to make up reasons why it's not your vision.

  22. Hi there!

    Thank you for writing this post and answering my previous question, Randy. All these comments help to see much more. People give their opinions, and you can see that all of us are looking to the same thing through different angles, based on our expreince, values and beliefs.

    I wanted to add something. If my case, the vision didn't make me happy becuase of few things. I mentioned fear already. One more thing is that I thought that my happiness, my wishes coming true would hurt some people around me. I'll give you an example. Let's say you ave a girlfriend for a long time. You were planning to marry her, but then reilized that something is missing there. No more romance, excitiment, even though you care about her. You really think that she is perfect, she loves you and depends on you. And you understand, that it happens in all relationships - romance and excitiment just give way to other feelings, that are also love. ATthe same time you are looking for that, you can't stop thinking that maybe you changed, and she did, and you need someone else. Your new vision includes relationships or things that are not suitable with her, that she wouldn't approve. and you know, that it might make her unhappy if you pursue your vision. You keep thinking of different ways to change and make you current relationships more fulfilling, but it's not working. It's just the same - comfortable, loving, but still something is missing in the picture. You call yourself an idiot, a bad person, and stop working on your vision, since it will make other people suffer. Plus, you are afraid that it will be a mistake. Maybe be the same thing will happen with new relationships.

    Sometimes it looks easy to solve these kind of problems, but not at this moment, for some reason. Well, I could picture other people happy without me, but will they be really happy just because I want it?

    1. ok, I got it, I got it, I finally got it!!! I can't even explain it in a few words, as the answers came through different sources like pieces of puzzle... I understand so much more now, it's like a SENSE of what's right for me! Oh, how could I not see it before??? In a few words:

      1. My happiness (my vision) can be ethical and NOT hurt anyone. I can do my best. I have a choice. Likewise, others have a choice whether to be happy or not. It IS possible to be happy the way I chose. I just didn't believe it before. I tried to see what others will think about me first, before making a decision, which was really, really silly.

      2. I looked back at my own situation. It was not in personal life (that was just an example). I saw that I made a mistake, but was ethical all the way through. The only problem was that I tried to make others happy, much more happy that I had to. I just wanted it, they never asked me to do that. And when it didn't work, I was upset. Then I thought that I didn't deserve success because of that. OMG, how stupid!

      3. I made a lot of wrong assumptions about how some people feel about me. Plus, I cared about it too much ( I thought that I never do that, really!). Just because they are really nice people. I stopped looking for their approval, and refused to make any assumptions from now on. Life is much easier now. I trust myself, I trust that those people are good and ethical, but even if they are not, it's not my problem anymore. I deserve all the best, like any other person.

      I can't explain all the things that happened, I can't find the right words and put them logically right now. It's a huge relief, and I'm full of energy right now, I'm so excited!

  23. My vision is kind of absurd.

    For some bizarre reason I think that I can make a name for myself by creating and performing nifty electronic music.

    Kind of silly given that i'm 29.

    Not like I decided yesterday though that this was something i was interested in. Never stopped doing at least something with it. but knowing that I don't have the energy or drive to buckle down and just work a good job, I feel compelled to do so, even though the odds are crazy.

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  • 40 comments on “Is It Really Your Vision?”

    1. This question offers a stark wake-up call the first time we ask it. I know I've been in several different places over the last few years where I had to answer it and thought I was on point.

      Then I realized I was way off.

      Now, in seeking to seize something completely my own, I've stripped away everything to see what the foundation was -- the basic "why" -- and am stunned.

      I see what shaped my career choices and have accepted, as I said to a friend the other day, "Your 'why' can't be 'to make more money' because that's not really a heartfelt pursuit." So, I'm asking myself what that is and pushing aside the old programming that begs to know how I'll eat the elephant without acknowledging it's just a matter of little bites.

    2. i`ve met a lot of people, mostly students who dont like their universities, `cause it was parents decision about where they should study.

      I always say to that people thats it is never too late to change smth in their life. Very good topic, if we want to be successful, we should do the things we love to do!

      Oles Timofeev,
      Ukrain, Kiev

    3. The first rule of parenting emerging adults should be that kids can listen to the call of their own hearts and don't need a helicopter mom to point out due north. We flourish in life when we follow our own hearts!

    4. This is so true Randy, I have had a vision for myself and it has been derailed in the past because of the input of others, especially family.
      I take full responsibility for putting my vision aside and even that may have meaning, as I have learnt so much elsewhere that is relevant to my vision.
      I don't regret the path I have taken but I am making the most of the knowledge that I have gained
      The bizarre thing is that life has brought me back to my vision on more than one occasion, I am now working towards fore filling a vision, it's early days and already starting to take on a momentum of it's own.
      I love being alive and having this dream taking formation next to my current employment, with the realizable goal of it becoming our provider and wholly likely to enable us to be more philanthropic in the future adds a deep and stimulating energy to the adventure.
      It's not the goal but the journey, but one can't exist without the other.
      Thanks for the inspiration.

      1. Hi Steve

        I totally agree for too long I have listened to the people around me stating the age old mantra fit in and you'll do ok don't try to be different you'll only attract trouble. This has held me back for so many years.

        These people are no longer in my life and whilst my family are finding some of my changes different they are encouraging me to go for it.

        I have been gradually building myself back up and defining my vision it is getting clearer every day and I know when I'm on the right path because I feel happy challenged and excited. On the occasion I don't I know I have drifted from my purpose I stop reassess and shift back to where I should be It can be hard sometimes to avoid the distractions but its getting easier.

        Your gut is a really good compass tune into your true feelings and allow your higher self to guide you.

        Brian

    5. Yes Randy, the vision I made is definately mine.´I'm so greatfull for this. As soon as I let go of "stop daydreaming", "be real" and a few others, it completely opened up to vision my future and completely vision how a perfect day would look, no holding back - that is really awesome. You know comparing my surroundings as it is today and this perfect day, I feel completely "misplaced" from the beginning of my life, if you can follow me.
      Thank You!
      Lene

    6. Thankfully my parents didn't interfere in my or my sister's career choices. We had complete freedom to choose whatever we wanted. My Dad actually encouraged me to think out of the accountant/lawyer/doctor square. As it turns out, I'm now studying accounting. But that's after many years of work experience and working in the accounting field. I've discovered that I actually really like it and now I enjoy what I'm learning.

    7. I know my vision is mine. I don't know that my husband and I share the same vision. Or rather, I should say I often feel he wants to hang on the coattails of my vision and call it his own once I succeed. Am I being too Little Red Hen about this? If he's coming along for the ride, then he needs to share in the driving...

      I find my self quoting Mr. Incredible a lot, that moment when Bob is checked out and his wife is screaming, "Engage Bob! Engage!" My husband doesn't think it's funny. Sadly, neither do I.

    8. this is so true...

      A parent or counsellor or close friend will subconciosly recommend the vision they want but can not have.

      therfore alot of the time, you end up living somebody elses vision

      you cannot be brilliant in this environment as belief from the outside cant last..

      to be brilliant u need to do what ur passionate about...

    9. I think that is the most important question in life. That question should be ask ourself constantly, to confirm or to see what we really want. So many people choose the dreams of their parents, just because it is a family tradition. They thougth that if they change the tradition the were the worst person in the family but they are not choosing their oun happiness.

    10. YES - i have made the mistake and am making the mistake of someone else vision.

      I think our vision should make us TRULY happy.

      I think true happiness comes from when our heart sees loving things, beautiful things, pleasant things. And then the heart says 'i like these things because they make me happy, they add to my life, they make things more beautiful and comfortable, they add and enhance my life and my loved ones life." This is true happiness and good vision when the heart has vision for this puprose.

      I think bad vision come from when the ego see good things, beautiful things, loving things and wants to acquire it for the wrong reasons. When the ego wants to reach a vision not for heartfelt reasons but to appear better than others and to gain attention and feel important or to play it safe or please. all of these reasons come from fear and lack mentality.

      so i think we have to ask ourselves if our vision is generated from the insecurities of the ego or from the pure desire of the heart.

      the source of these visions are the most important. is the source love? or is the source fear. we only hear the vision so the bad source can go undetected. even when we dig for the source it will hide away.

      we must search layer after layer with truth by our side to find out if the visions source is fear or love. if it is fear, the vision will never be achieved because fear is a motivator, but will only ever keep you alive, only ever allow you to survive. it cannot fuel the journey to a grand vision, only love will do this. fear has a force of push.............it will push you. love has the force of pull. love requires the person to walk.
      the legs of fear are in built into our DNA, that is why we are so good at surviving. so the legs of fear start to walk when we are at risk of not surviving. which is why it will keep you alive and not thrive cos half way to thrive its out of risk of not surviving and the legs of fear stop.

      love energy will cause the legs to keep walking to the vision when fear stops fuelling.

      the love energy from service that feeds the heart and not the ego. the sacrificial service is no good, because sacrificial means something is dying and death is no good. and the work done through this sacrifical service is tainted with guilt. the service must add to the giver and receiver, this is good service.
      i work for my kids because i love my kids and i love my work. this is good for everyone. Good for the worker. Good for the kids. Good for the company being worked for.
      I put up with my work because its my duty to provide. this is bad for everyone. the worker, the kids, the company.

      i believe the grand visions can only be achieved when visions are originated from love and i believe love is only truly possible when multiple hearts connected. i cannot sit at home all alone and be in love. I believe the one or thing or whatever who created this knew that lasting and complete truly grand visions only created when multiple hearts are connected. so i think the visions need to go out of our indivual self and onto the love of others BUT it must be into their love to, or else you'll be sucking in their lack, fear and insecurity back into you. and then everyone will be unhappy.

      so dont make any mistakes, material things are good with the right energies attached to them. A mansion with a swimming pool and a tennis court is great vision if it gives your heart joys to watch ur family enjoy these nice things. it has the love energy attached to it. the vision will be good and more chances of prospering because the love energy is attached to it.

      if u want the mansion to show off to your neighbour and make him feel ugly the energy is attached to this is fear, and lack. the cision will lose its legs and will be very hard to materialise.

      when these energies sometimes change, circumstances can change. we must keep the heart pure so we can achieve the good goals and visions. Pure hearts can be recognised when they are connected with multiple hearts ffor common purposes/visions.

      I am continuing to walk my journey. RG youtube channel and this discussions are helpoing me a lot. I wish to have many things in my life. I will keep my dream alive and learn every step of the way. I have a long way to go and am committed. I am loving my journey there. I think loving the journey is important.

      please tell me if i was wrong anywhere. I will change my thinking to make it right. everything ccant be right, there could be many things wrong with everyones thinking

      1. My dear Dan. Life is like a buffet. You are allowed to choose the life YOU want to live. Here, there is no right or wrong. You only have to follow your wonderful emotions and they will never take you astray. These words taken from 'Abraham' (Abraham-Hicks)changed (or should I say 'began' the change in MY life: "You are not here to try to get the world to be just as you want it to be. You are here to create the world around you that YOU choose while you allow the world as others choose it to be to exist also." ... "The basis of your life is freedom ... the purpose of your life is joy"

        1. Venetta,
          thanks for your reply.

          I do not totally agree with you when you say "You only have to follow your wonderful emotions and they will never take you astray". I think when we honour our feelings we can neglect our values." values must be consciously chosen or else we may take on wrong values that will lead us to banging heads onto brick walls.
          Feelings change, we are emotional rollercoasters and this can missalign with our values. so i believe we can follow these emotions into deep dark depths.
          Also with choice when we choose one thing we dont choose another. we cannot have both the blue pill and the red pill. we cannot choose hate and experience love. we can choose laziness and live displined.

          I also believe life is not absolute choice like a buffet.

          we can have choice of the causes we set in motion, but never the effects of those causes as those effects are set and attached to the cause.
          Essentially what I believe is if you choose the life you want, you must walk in a certain space to manifest, as the envisioned life is the effect. the relationship must exist between the envisioned destination and the path, whether the path has been made or yet to be made, the relationship must be there.

        1. Dan, I am totally confused by your response and, Randy, even more confused that you 'love' where he's going with this. I really must be missing something here and would love some clarity. I began my journey two years ago. Before that, I lived the life of a victim. I have just started following Randy's blog and it seems to me that Randy's teachings are about 'love' and helping us to love ourselves ... find our worthiness ... find OUR vision ... and 'undo' all of those things that keep us in the 'lack virus' mentality. With that in mind, how on earth can you begin to 'walk in love' and that turn against your values and send you to the 'deep dark depths'? It just seems to me that as you become 'enlightened' and walk toward 'the light' your emotions STRENGTHEN your values, your respect for your own life and the lives around you. Parents who are walking in love will honor their own vision and guide their children lovingly toward THEIR vision. If a person's heart is filled with love is there room for hate? Yes, life is a choice. One of my favorite choices that Randy gives us is 'Victim or Victor' ... in my humble opinion it IS about choice and we ARE free to choose which road we take and if we choose the road to 'victor' we must be filled with love and the relationship that we have with love is what will give us a solid path to our destination.

          1. Hi Venetta,
            I believe we are both talking about similar concepts and you have a great way of thinking. Though when we communicate, or when I am communicating I dont think your receiving the communication the way I intended.

            Just to briefly clarify:
            I meant to say we should always honour our values first and foremost. Because our values are unattached from feelings and emotions. Feelings and emotions are like double edged swords. they could work for us or against us. If we value health and put that as priority 1 we will exercise no matter what. on the other hand if we are feeliing tired and lazy one day and like health, but our emotions/feelings are saying "stay in bed, its more comfortable" ---then by honouring our feelings we will neglect our values. re: my statement emotions are like rollercoasters. We could be FEELING energetic one day and exercise, the action is good but the fuel of action is changeable. the source is unstable. Because when we feel tired and lazy, the feeling to exercise will not be there and we wont, exposing the unstable fuel of emotions.

            re: freedom of choice. My philosophy around that comes from the law of cause and effect.

            we can choose ANY effect we want to, but when we do we need to act in a certain time and space. For example everyone has the freedom to choose health, its your right. but as soon as you choose health, to achieve that you HAVE TO choose the specific causes to health: eg exercise, healthy eating, rest,nutrition, etc etc. you cannot choose health and choose McDonalds everyday, beer and laziness. some people will choose something like this or less obvious than this exaggerated example.

            But their conflicting beliefs will ensure they never get to their goals. they are pulling in different directions and u stay stagnant. I am eliminating many of these now, but i have many to find.

            Inversely, if you dont have goals, ie. you choose no effect, u will still be living life and hence setting causes in motion. u have free choice about any cause you set in motion, but what you have no control over is the effect of those causes. because we do not determine the effects of the causes, they are pre-defined here on this realm we're in. eg. kindness, integrity, loyalty will have an effect of trust. if we choose rudeness and abruptness and lack of patience, the negative effects will boomerang back to us automatically.

            quickly going back to the concept of realising vision through connected hearts.
            The universe was programmed for EVERYTHING to flourish and thrive with minimal casualties, even then its just a transfer of energy. The universe uses most efficient growth methods. For example the thought energy of sun wants to see all crops and trees grow. The thought energy of air wants to help all the people, all the animals and all the trees breathe. the thought energy of water wants to quench all thirst, feed all trees. EVERYTHING in universe has a WE mentality, a collective mentality. we humans are programmed to survive first and foremost, just as other life. and humans often do that with a ME mentality. this will ensure survival. this me mentality could lead to random actions, it could be neutral to everything else, it could benefit everything else or it could diminish everything else. when we do bad things that diminish everything else for our own survival, like steal, rape or cheat, we may feel happy temporarily, but it is against the will of the universe, as remember the universes will is for everything to thrive. therefore this me mentality often leads to the universe to fight back with corresponding strength. if ur a little bad it will give u a little nudge. if your very bad......knockout. i have been knocked out.

            so the we mentality is the most important mindset, because you are on the side of the universe, your purpose aligns with the ground you walk on, it aligns with the air you breathe and the sun that shines on you.....that purpose is all must thrive.
            this is why service is so important and revered in many of the teachings. Like the sun shines on all u must shine on all, like the ground holds everyone up you must hold everyone up, you must be a breath of fresh air to everyone, your words must be like fruit to feed everyone. Your ME mentality was given to you to keep yourself STRONG but not to the expense of others, thats why love was placed in us. so we must keep ourselves strong so we can keep others strong.
            and the universe loves us to love and enjoy everything but never at the cost of others.
            maybe in business they will pay us, thats fine if we give them good products, they benefit. if we give dodgy products, universe will punish us. the universe knows everything even ur thoughts and it could punish you. Just as the body knows every cell. if there is a cancer cell in the body, the body will try to punish the cancer cell. the body is punishing/destroying the cancer cell because it wants to save the rest of the body.

            im summary we must live in love and service, without harming anything. intention is very important cos we can harm with many things.

            i have a long way to go on this path. I am currently learning a lot from many great leaders like RG and others. I try to learn and teach this all the time. I am ridding my mind of bad ways and replacing them with good ways.

            1. Thanks, Dan, for the clarity. Like I said, I'm new at all this and seem to get confused easily (lol). For me it's only been a couple of years undoing a lifetime of living other people's visions ... memes ... yadda yadda yadda. It felt like we were on the same page but somehow in a different way 😉 Many teachers are teaching that 'spirit' and 'soul' are two different things ... I'm still trying to comprehend THAT one. I certainly look forward to more interaction with you. As we say in the 'south' ... hope you have a simply mahhvalus day. 🙂

            2. Hi Venetta,
              thanks for ur reply.
              from my understanding soul relates to the individual/the self. More specifically it relates to the individual thats unclouded by ego. the part of the individual i should say thats unclouded by ego. Its the part of the self that sees ITSELF as it is, it has not taken on societies impression of it. that is the soul.
              the spirit is all the power/knowledge/infinite in the universe. all that there is/was/will be.

    11. Or ... what if you were convinced that your 'vision' was a Pied Piper luring you to a certain death and you were left with no vision. I think we all know what OUR vision is ... the question is do we allow all those well meaning family and friends to steal our dreams. We seem to conform and live other people's dreams. Particularly our parents. So many times parents live vicariously through their children. Having their children DO the things THEY wanted to do rather than leading their children down the path of their own 'vision' and teaching them to 'follow their bliss'.

    12. hallo.
      ich gehöre zu der anderen seite mußte zwar auch erst beruf erlernen dann darf ich machen was ich will - so hat meine familie gesagt und jetzt habe ich Ausbildung aber keine Möglichkeit in dem job zuarbeiten aber das will ich auch nicht mehr den habe andere ziele die werde ich ertreichen wenn der weg auch nichtso leicht ist lohnt er sich doch zugehen den im leben löernt man nie aus und viele wege führen ins Ziel man muß nur wollen bis Bald

      1. Lieber Freund,
        Vielen Dank für Ihre Nachricht. Ich hoffe, was ich zu sagen habe ist für Sie relevanten und in Ihrem Leben. Ich glaube, Sie haben in sich selbst suchen, und wirklich herauszufinden, was Sie wollen. Dann sind Sie jemand, der das erreicht, was Sie hat zu finden. Finden Sie heraus, thepath nahmen. So können Sie den Pfad kennen ist richtig. Versprechen Sie alle Herzen zu folgen dem Weg und nie abweichen. Sie muss auf einem Pfad zu bleiben. Bewahren Sie keine wechselnden Wege, wie Sie nie zu etwas bringen wird. Wenn Sie Pfade ändern, müssen Sie erneut zu starten. Immer besser, so dass Sie Ihr Ziel schneller zu erreichen. Denken Sie über Ihre Vision und Alltag Geduld. Gott segne Sie, Glauben haben, hart arbeiten, große Träume und schätzen alles. Alles Gute im Leben lieber Freund.

    13. I feel that just as we are (hopefully) constantly growing and changing, so is our vision allowed to grow and develop. What you wanted to be when you grow up at age 6 can be different to 16, 26, 36, 46, 56, 66, 76, 86, 96, 106 and so on....
      We are a dynamic entity. Why should our visions be static?

    14. While I believe having your own vision is important, don't expect it to make you happy. Happiness comes first. Happiness is a precursor to success, not a result of it. Choose to be happy first and let your vision flow from this empowered state.

    15. As I read your post today I was doing a check list, Parents Vision no, Teachers or Counselor no, HMMMM maybe I was following my own Vision.... wait but I wasn't happy and my vision then was nothing like the one I am seeing and feeling and wanting now....????
      I think in my past experiences my Vision was lead by a lot of my meme's and what I thought peers and society excepted,
      I do know friends that are living parents ect visions
      But think thousands visions are highjacked by there meme's and wanting to be accepted.

    16. Great point that Brian J makes above. I think that's another part of the growth process, in that you can have a vision that moves you forward, but your vision changes during your life. It may not necessarily be that you had the wrong vision, but you evolve. I look back at the vision I had at 20..and at 30.. and today it's totally different.
      I also believe we have to guide our kids but let them ultimitely create their own vision. I did feel pressured myself at a young age to follow a certain path and it did create a lot of friction in trying to really define and follow my own vision. But with my son, after I felt I had at least instilled a great work ethic in him I gave him the freedom and time to do what was in his heart. Today, at only 25, he is running a successful business that did about 1 million last year and is growing like crazy. He better watch out for his sister though, who's still a teen but has an unbelievable fire in her!

    17. Randy.. You've hit upon a major topic as I'm sure you know. As to whether a 'vision' a young person has as they mature is theirs, I'm not sure it's a vision at all. Instead, parents will often 'persuade' a child to move in a certain direction that comes from THEIR vision, as you say. So what happens is the child isn't even in touch with their purpose and therefore holds a vision, of sorts, that's really not their own. After all how can you have a vision if you don't know what your purpose is here in the Universe? And yes, I know that people have a dream of varying degrees, but for me, our Truth and vision is connected to our purpose.

      The other major issue I see here is that parents who may have struggled in life may not offer the best vision guidance to their child either. I know of what I speak since my parents did exactly this! So I wandered aimlessly for years working to uncover my purpose and passions due to my parents stifling them to some degree.

      So yes, my all means, we MUST ask the question is the vision we hold ours and if it is, is it in alignment with our purpose?

    18. I followed what I thought was my vision at 19 for many years. Took it to quite a high level in fact. It was to be an accountant and partner in a CPA firm. While I was good at it, it turned out to not feed my soul at all. I felt like a square peg in a round hole. At 40 I decided to follow a vision that seemed far more my dream. I became a full time Realtor as did my husband and we created a business of our own together. No one else in charge of our limits and a career that allows my creative freedom and love of engaging with others. I feel our vision is absolutely key, as you've said. At youth it may not always be driven just by outsiders (parents, teachers etc) but also our lack of knowledge of the world. I think equally as important as knowing your vision is also the freedoma and lack of fear to change that vision as you get older and really define what it is you truly want. I believe as you abandon past limiting belief systems it's also natural you might discover deeper desires within youself.

      1. You hit on two very important issues:

        1) Most people don;t know their vision when they are young, as it takes some time and exploration to find.
        2) Most people fear change and so they stay on a path that isn't the one they would love.

        -RG

    19. Randy,

      I think you are right. Sometimes people go into something for the wrong reasons. I know I didn't know what else to do, so decided healthcare was a good profession.

      I do think that some people really don't know what they want until they experience certain things which give them contrast to what they do really want.

      Karen

    20. I agree with you on this one, Randy. If my vision does fully excite me, it's not my vision. I believe we settle when we are not completely excited about what we are doing on the planet and we continue to do it. My vision defines me and my purpose on the planet. It is what I feel so completely passionate about. It's what I'm willing to die for. Anything less is probably me doing what I think others will approve of me doing.
      http://www.robbbraun.com/

    21. There's also the possibility that it is your vision, but at the moment you're focused on the parts of it that are uninspiring or feel like work. It's easy to slip into paying attention to parts of the vision that evoke strong negative emotions and then taint the vision with those strong emotions. After that it's easy to make up reasons why it's not your vision.

    22. Hi there!

      Thank you for writing this post and answering my previous question, Randy. All these comments help to see much more. People give their opinions, and you can see that all of us are looking to the same thing through different angles, based on our expreince, values and beliefs.

      I wanted to add something. If my case, the vision didn't make me happy becuase of few things. I mentioned fear already. One more thing is that I thought that my happiness, my wishes coming true would hurt some people around me. I'll give you an example. Let's say you ave a girlfriend for a long time. You were planning to marry her, but then reilized that something is missing there. No more romance, excitiment, even though you care about her. You really think that she is perfect, she loves you and depends on you. And you understand, that it happens in all relationships - romance and excitiment just give way to other feelings, that are also love. ATthe same time you are looking for that, you can't stop thinking that maybe you changed, and she did, and you need someone else. Your new vision includes relationships or things that are not suitable with her, that she wouldn't approve. and you know, that it might make her unhappy if you pursue your vision. You keep thinking of different ways to change and make you current relationships more fulfilling, but it's not working. It's just the same - comfortable, loving, but still something is missing in the picture. You call yourself an idiot, a bad person, and stop working on your vision, since it will make other people suffer. Plus, you are afraid that it will be a mistake. Maybe be the same thing will happen with new relationships.

      Sometimes it looks easy to solve these kind of problems, but not at this moment, for some reason. Well, I could picture other people happy without me, but will they be really happy just because I want it?

      1. ok, I got it, I got it, I finally got it!!! I can't even explain it in a few words, as the answers came through different sources like pieces of puzzle... I understand so much more now, it's like a SENSE of what's right for me! Oh, how could I not see it before??? In a few words:

        1. My happiness (my vision) can be ethical and NOT hurt anyone. I can do my best. I have a choice. Likewise, others have a choice whether to be happy or not. It IS possible to be happy the way I chose. I just didn't believe it before. I tried to see what others will think about me first, before making a decision, which was really, really silly.

        2. I looked back at my own situation. It was not in personal life (that was just an example). I saw that I made a mistake, but was ethical all the way through. The only problem was that I tried to make others happy, much more happy that I had to. I just wanted it, they never asked me to do that. And when it didn't work, I was upset. Then I thought that I didn't deserve success because of that. OMG, how stupid!

        3. I made a lot of wrong assumptions about how some people feel about me. Plus, I cared about it too much ( I thought that I never do that, really!). Just because they are really nice people. I stopped looking for their approval, and refused to make any assumptions from now on. Life is much easier now. I trust myself, I trust that those people are good and ethical, but even if they are not, it's not my problem anymore. I deserve all the best, like any other person.

        I can't explain all the things that happened, I can't find the right words and put them logically right now. It's a huge relief, and I'm full of energy right now, I'm so excited!

    23. My vision is kind of absurd.

      For some bizarre reason I think that I can make a name for myself by creating and performing nifty electronic music.

      Kind of silly given that i'm 29.

      Not like I decided yesterday though that this was something i was interested in. Never stopped doing at least something with it. but knowing that I don't have the energy or drive to buckle down and just work a good job, I feel compelled to do so, even though the odds are crazy.

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