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Getting Closer to Your Dream

Posted By: Randy GageJanuary 28, 2011

As I was planning the new virtual prosperity seminar I did yesterday, it dawned on me how much of self-development, and personal growth is about undoing instead of doing.

Babies and toddlers are such magnificent demonstrations of prosperity and prosperity consciousness. It’s only as we get older and buy into all the programming that most issues arise. We start collecting people, habits, opinions and philosophies and from these we make core beliefs.  And then those core beliefs take us off track.

So what is it that you could undo or unlearn today that would take you closer to your dream?

-RG

68 comments on “Getting Closer to Your Dream”

  1. How to have unlimited belief in everything. No hesitations and no doubts. The sky is the limit type of belief that my children have right now.

    1. I guess, replacing old beliefs IS "undoing" the old ones! The same for food or drinks - forgetting the tempting taste of junk comes only by having healthy food for a time.

      What do you think about that, Randy?

      Best wishes from Latvia!

      1. When you eat ice cream and candy bars it does actually create a physiological craving for more sweets. When you eat salads and fruits, your taste buds adjust and you love the taste.

        -RG

          1. Chocolate, fruit and ice cream. What unfortunate choice! You must eat only fruit if you want to be healty.

          2. Eating junk and healthy stuff at the same time is like undoing only a part from old beliefs and creating new unhelpful ones. Although I don't think chocolate is considered a junk food. 😉 Chocolate's good.

  2. Nice blog post Randy! The one thing I would like to change is my lack of self belief. This business requires a strong sense of belief in yourself and i find it very stressful sometimes and wanting to give up.

  3. Oh Boy. So I read this post first thing this morning and then jumped into the shower to give it some thought, sure that I would come up with my one big ‘need to lose’ item by the time I got out, got ready for the day and sat down to respond.

    By the time I was completely wet, I had something. By the time I was grabbing the body wash I had another. By the time I got to the shampoo I was on number 3! Good damn thing I didn’t need to shave my legs this morning or this post would be just a pinch overwhelming! 😉

    So, here are my TOP 3 things (and for now, we’ll leave it right there) that I know would better serve me if left in the shadow of yesterday (and in no particular order!)

    1) Needing to justify to ANYONE else why I am worthy!

    Having only escaped from victimhood and arrived in the land of believing I’m deserving over the span of this past year, I still find myself acting out of old programming from time to time and once in a while, I get the urge to defend myself and respond with the laundry list of my ‘good points’ when someone shows up to challenge my worthiness. Here’s my new behavior of choice – silently smile and ‘ease on down the road’! I’m NOT arguing for my rights to a brilliant life anymore! If you aren’t on my team, go play in someone else’s game!

    2) Needing to do everything without asking for help!

    Like I have said a gazillion times lately – just because I can fix the toilet all by myself, doesn’t mean I WANT to!!! I have always been very independent and resourceful, making it my habit to go it alone and not ‘bother others’ too much by asking for help. How ridiculous! If we were meant to do everything by ourselves, we would be the only one on the planet! If I want to build a truly prosperous life, then I need a whole team on my side. I need mentors, I need helpers, I need coaches, I need friends. And this is the year I’m surrounding myself with the BEST of the BEST!

    And finally …

    3) My Super Hero Cape!

    This one is hardest for me to hang up, so here goes my new affirmation:

    I do not need to be the answer to everyone else’s problem!

    Doesn’t mean I am not going to help others. Doesn’t mean I am not going to be available in a crisis where I am moved to be of assistance. DOES mean I don’t need to put every criminal behind bars, every crooked salesman out of business and save my friends and children from their own lessons by interfering and handling consequences they need to feel so they won’t hurt too bad – even at my own expense.

    Someone new is worth my time … ME! I’ve spent a long, long time ignoring myself - and I’ve got some making up to do! This year, I’m building my BIG life so that I can then help others do the same without even feeling winded. Serve from a place of self-fulness, not self-deficit.

    Okay, there – I put it on (virtual) paper and I’m gonna hold myself to it … all of it! Because this is my year!

    K

    1. You go girl ... couldn't have said it better myself (lol). Now I'm on MY way to the shower and can't wait to see what I think about 🙂

    2. Awesome post, KimbraLee! So many things you said so well, including ---

      "If you aren’t on my team, go play in someone else’s game!" (I really like that one!) and "If I want to build a truly prosperous life, then I need a whole team on my side."

      But the best was "Someone new is worth my time … ME!" Sounds like you're going to have a terrific year!
      jim

    3. Hi Kimbralee
      Have you been reading my mind is it just my perception or is there a common thread In your post so many of us feel the need to feel worthy, justify our existence an feel compelled to solve the worlds problems. These limiting core beliefs effect so many of us I wish I could find and eradicate the source so future generations wouldn't have to spend years to overcome this negative debilitating teaching

      Brian

    4. Wow K, I am inspired! I can feel your energy and LOVE it!! Way to go. Randy already had me thinking, but as I was on my way to reply I read your post and forgot what I was going to say.

      I will sit with your words and get clear on some ideas of my own to hang up!! Thank you for adding your detailed thoughts!

      xox
      HelenRappy

    5. Wow!

      Just checked back in here to see ALL these comments! Sounds like maybe water might be the great conductor to tapping into the collective unconscious since we ALL seem to be faced with some of these same issues! (No wonder I get so many of my great inspirations from 'shower moments'!)

      I am happy to report that I justified to no one yesterday. I made a list of others I could go to for help in certain fields and although I thought about my glistening super hero cape once when I got a "I'm in a pickle" call from my oldest daughter, I took NO steps toward the closet! Score 1 point for me!

      Day 1 ... B+.

      I know this will get better with practice and we will all do some crazy, good stuff in our own lives if we keep our commitment to ourselves!

      Here's to hoping everyone of us gets some of our own undivided attention this weekend and walks into next week with some great momentum. We are SO WORTH IT!

      🙂 K

  4. For me it's more about doing and learning than the undoing and unlearning. If I focus on what is wrong so I can make it right, I just get more of what I focus on that is wrong. I improve more by getting quiet and visualizing all that is right and all that I am grateful for as well as how I want my life to unfold going forward, then I let it go and ask God to bring it to me if it is his purpose for me."Thy Will Be Done" It never fails that when I do this, life just unfolds in front of me. And since I am looking for the good, it usually shows up. Not always, but when it doesn't, that is my trigger or gauge, to evaluate why and if what is occuring is requiring change or removal or improvement. I am more effective at making change occur since it is happening at the time it is connected to emotion. All change occurs best when there is feeling attached to it. It's like Randy mentioned above, if you watch a child, they don't project negative, they anticipate joy which should be our natural state.

  5. The trouble with learning is you can't undo it. What would it take to unlearn how to ride a bicycle? [If that was the plan.] If it were even possible it would likely ‘disappear’ a lot of other, potentially great parts of the learning, with it.

    That doesn't mean you have to ever ride a bicycle again.

    Kimbra is right on target. We are all programmed to be the next dynamic super hero needing no one, riding in on our trusty rocket, saving the day ensuring everyone else around us never has to grow up or be responsible for who they are.

    I know many people who are willing to do anything for anyone and do at the slightest drop of an ‘ask’ and yet... they don't know how or are afraid to return the favor.

    Having caught my dream too many times without having a bigger one already calling me into action I have several on standby alongside the ‘won’ I am working on.

    The thinking required to get to where we are will be insufficient to bring us to where we want to be. The bad news for many is the instructions for getting out of the box are on the outside of the box and we will have to trust someone outside the box giving us the instructions. PS they are in a language that is unknown inside the box.

    1. Michael -

      Can I just say that you so nicely put into words with the last paragraph of your post something I have spent a lot of time thinking about recently? It seems that only once we are on the 'other side' of a learning curve can we look back and see how the 'way out' was all around us all the time, but we couldn't recognize it from that vantage point, where now it is as clear as a bell. 🙂

      But - such is the paradox of learning, I suppose. And YES - that is why we are all here. We are both student ... and teacher, to many! 😉

      K

  6. Great post, Randy. Emerson said, "we must unlearn the wisdom of the world." We're walking around thinking, feeling and acting like we're these limited, pathetic creatures, at the effect of the Universe. To me, THE key to life is to unlearn who I think I am and remember the Truth of who I am: a divine expression of God, limitless in all ways. Prosperity and all that entails is my divine inheritance. It's not separate from me or something "out there" that I need to attract. It's who I am. It's who everyone is. Lester Levinson said it so well: "everything you're looking for is right where you are."

  7. I think the biggest thing for to "undo" and overcome is the habit I have of over-analyzing. By this I mean over-analyzing if I am doing the right thing in reaching an objective. When I have a goal or objective in mind I get so caught up in the details of how I need to make it happen, that I then get frustrated when the "path" needs to deviate, or I question if the details and plans are the best path to my ultimate objective. When I look back at my biggest accomplishments, I realize that I just went for it. Your title of today's post struck a nerve with me as I can see some major objectives I've had getting closer to reality, but I still frustrate myself with too much emphasis on little details that aren't, in reality, so significant.
    Maybe what it really comes down to is needing to be a perfectionist, and by that having everything move along perfectly in the process. A saying I saw recently (was it here?) has stuck with me though.... you don't need to be perfect, you need to be excellent. I'm working on that. Anyway, thanks for letting this blog be a forum for me to ramble 🙂

    1. Hi RJ,
      I did the paralysis analysis for years. You are on the right track. Just pull the trigger. Failure is inevitable. Just look at it positively that once you fail you have one less thing to fail with. Allowing instead of forcing will get you to where you are going a lot faster. I'm going after my pilots license and you know what is fascinating about this. You are always off course. Great way to look at perfection and overanalysis. We are going to get off course now and again, it's just a matter of correcting once you recognize it. It's great to know where you are going and have a plan but if you just allow yourself to take action and respond to the success's and failures, it's much more enjoyable and will get you where you are going much faster. At least that's how it works for me and a plane.

      1. My over-analyzing doesn't really paralyze me in the process, but it does cause maximum frustration. I like your analogy with flying. Good luck with getting your license!

    2. Perfection is a hard thing to undo. I see my mother struggling with it in her old age. It makes people hard to ask others for help. I have that tendency not to be able to ask but I have learned to let go. I always try to achieve the peak moment in my life per day and not worry to be perfect at everything.

  8. I don't know how anyone would "unlearn" anything. On the other hand, we are more than capable of learning new beliefs and behaviors to manifest what we want.

    Many people talk about eliminating "negative beliefs." Good luck with that. What I have found to work is to create a new belief or behavior and reinforce it until it becomes a dominant belief. The brain and subconscious mind will go with the dominant belief. Even though the old "negative" belief is still there, it will be irrelevant.

  9. One important belief and behavior is to seek first to understand, then to be understood. It's very easy to react to what another says and then do a knee jerk response instead of stopping and thinking first. When we seek to understand another before spurting out our ideas, intentions, etc. we gain a better sense of the other person and can then make comments or communicate in a way that's received and appreciated.

    And yes, this is one of Covey's "Seven Habits" but it's worth being said. If we're willing to acknowledge how we operate in favor of growing to a more evolved state, we get closer to Source. And the closer we are the more abundant our life grows.

    Thanks Randy.

  10. For me, this is one of those questions that on the surface, I can answer immediately and grasp. But if I think too long on it, the answer eludes me.

    So here's my quick answer so I can grasp it.

    All of my programs that need 'undoing' come down to ONE fundamental 'fear' that I have worked on overcoming for years.

    This is my ONE fundamental competing commitment: Fear of not being liked and accepted by others.

    If I peel back the layers of my programs they all come down to that basic one. I think for most they do as well.

    So I've been working on that, AND teaching my kids to not fear what others think because, it doesn't matter. Bad OR good. We do what we must do, with integrity, for ourselves. Not anyone else.

    Ya, I'm programming them, but I'm hoping to be programming them in ways that will allow them to fly.

    This is what self development and self growth is for me. 😉

    1. Jhanna -

      Well said! I think you are right on with this. No matter what internal dragons we battle - when we finally slay them and pull off the mask, at the core they are always the same ... fear of not being lovable, good enough, worthy. And they apply to every area of our lives - finances, relationships, health. Your children are so fortunate that you've already realized this and are helping them to consciously avoid some of that negative programming. Less to 'undo' later in life! 🙂

  11. So far this year has been all about undoing, rethinking, restructuring, and actually it has been a lot more fun that just doing all the time.

  12. After reading this blog I was on my way to take a shower. I was thinking, Randy is absolutely right … personal growth is more about ‘undoing’ than ‘doing’ and like KimbraLee, I was giving thought to those things I wanted to ‘get rid of.’ I had quite a different experience, though. Rather than take a shower, I filled the tub with hot water, tons of bubbles and I laid back into the water to think of all those things I wanted to undo. Surprisingly, snippets of things I have read over the last couple of years began running through my head like a little made for TV movie … you know the 30-minute TV show which is actually 5-minute snippets of all last season’s episodes. Too numerous to mention all of them but things like, “put your hand on your heart and say … ‘if I were not afraid I would…'” and “You should walk through space and time toward that time in the future expecting that it will be there.” From Randy’s virtual seminar yesterday, “Your REAL self worth is that you were born to be rich, healthy, happy and live a life of abundance.”

    Then the ‘fiddler’ appeared and I began hearing the faint sounds of his fiddle. For those of you old enough to remember the movie, “Fiddler on the Roof” I particularly loved that movie because I knew that fiddler. I had heard him thousands of times before, and there he was on the big screen so many years ago. Sadly, my parents convinced me the music I heard was that of a Pied Piper luring me to a certain death. I believed them and buried my fiddler along with my spirit and conformed. Not meaning to sound like my life has been dull and boring … by NO stretch of the imagination. Someone wrote this about the writer, Ann Lamott, “she skates on the edge of dysfunction but faces the side of spirit with humor.” I saved it because it pretty much sums up MY life … the Lucy and Desi Comedy Hour with ME being Lucy and pretty much always in trouble.

    Maybe some of the reasons personal development is so hard is because we DO seem to make too much of things … maybe we DO spend way too much time digging to find out what caused something rather than just finding time to ‘fix’ it … and maybe we just are afraid to trust those things we ‘know’.

    Finally, maybe if we would just realize that “One of the many fringe benefits of having sneaky, pushy, and demanding people in your life, comes when you realize - usually at the end of a long day, deep in thought, with a pot of warm cherry Kool-Aid by your side - that in spite of all the drama, huffing, and puffing, no one can keep you from yours.” (~~TUT)

    END of rant.

  13. We attract all circumstances and choose our own reactions. We bend the universe to our will at all times. That is the hardest thing for people to realize.

    Babies and toddlers are consciously aware of things that are never confirmed by people around them. So they undo and unlearn, but on some level they always know, and we can never un-know.

    And then it's what you do with your knowing.

    In some cases people don't even realize they are on track. They have made the right choices and decisions. They have been listening to the voice within. They do what they are supposed to do. And when you know you are doing the right thing, don't get sidetracked and start doubting because someone else has a different opinion. What do they really want from you? What does it really mean? Do they have a problem? Look at it from all angles.

    Rediscover yourself.

  14. Yes.Since I started be conscious about how far I was from that succes I suddenly understood could exist even for me,I have done nothing but undoing.It is like if I lived my life backwards now first.I have to get rid of things,thoughts,exhusbands,moms,sisters,schools,workingplaces,furnitures,things,thoughts,schools,workingplaces,things,stores,furniture.....it is a never ending carousel again and again.The funny was my last workingplace which made me totally paralyzed,the people there made me feel small,stupid,unworthy,childish...and they together,with that working place and all that was there,became like a symbol for me in what I had to get rid of in my life...even the thoughts.One day I felt This is my last day here(have only worked there a short while)and when we were drinking coffee,they brought up the topic.They also didn´t think I was the person for them...I left, happy and scared in the same time.But all it symbolized was gone!
    I undid it,by working there.NO, I DON´T WANT TO BE LIKE THAT,was my thought.Take it away.I even stopped drinking cofee because of our terrible coffeebreaks...I have lots of things to undo still,but the day ofter something happened that used to happen to me in my youth.I went to a place to eat luch and started to talk with the owner and suddenly she offered me a job there!The day after I lost the other one AND this was the kind of job I used to have in my youth and loved but in the latest ten years no opportunity came up.I asked myself;have I "undone" ten years of my life and now I am open to my old things reborned again?It was a great feeling.I felt Oh my god,my self has come back and I feel GREAT.

  15. I would issue a health warning about Psychology which is based on churning up and judging people's past. And then I would propose that all psychologists take a new degree in 'Now-ology' coupled with a diploma in advanced Law of Attraction skills. Added to that I would recommend that all parents of children (of any age) make a date to sit down together and tell each other how very much they love each other. This would sort out an aweful lot of 'undoing' extremely fast.
    Loving and Gage-ing
    Dream Warrior Jenni P

  16. True wisdom Randy,

    Undoing and unlearning is a first step
    for many, on their way to success.

    However, Like I've heard said before:
    First ya gotta get the man out of the River,
    before you can get the River out of the Man!

    You do a great job Randy,
    of pulling people out of that river!

    ~Robert

  17. Great thought/question!

    Remember who you were and what you thought/felt when you were 7?

    It's tough getting rid of the junk that got in the way since then, but that kid is still there, cheering you on.

    If you listen closely, you can hear him/her...

    "You can do it....You can do it...You can do it."

  18. Well, I guess we all are a victim of programming. Even my parents, both of whom who were high income earners, had some lack issues they learned from their parents. My Dad equated wanting more money with greed and because of this he did not look for opportunities to increase wealth like I do. He keeps asking me what am I going to do with all this land I keep buying. This causes me to be a bit flabbergasted and a bit speechless. I just tell him he should have bought that mile of waterfront that was for sale for so long in the late 80's for $75,000. You know what that mile of waterfront is worth today? - about a 1000 dollars per linear foot of shoreline. I think most people could unlearn NOT to seek out opportunities. I keep telling the people I know to invest in land but none of them do.

  19. I have been reading a lot of Catherine Ponder recently and could not figure out what I needed to release from my life. This blog helped me clarify it quite well, thank you Randy. I need to "unlearn" the belief that if I make a choice to not have someone in my life, that I am a bad person.
    For many years my company and I were EXTREMELY successful and wealthy. When my daughter started having some issues I had to ask her father (my ex husband) to come help. And then my Mom (my best friend) passed away. My business and I suffered. But now I see the reason why. He is the type of individual that does not want success and he always tells me and my kids "money is not everything" and that everyone should be satisfied with "their lot in life".
    My new lesson is....live the life that is BEST for myself, which includes happiness, peace, love and ALOT of success and prosperity.
    The saying is so true...be careful of who you allow yourself to spend time with.

    1. Amy- Keep in mind that "release" isn't just about letting go of stuff. It also refers to releasing our prosperity, love, peace, etc, from within us. Prosperity isn't something we obtain, it's what we are, our natural state. We just need to release it from within. Often times this is accomplished by the undoing and unlearning Randy is referring to.

  20. I liked this post, but I don't want to answer the question out loud, because I am a private person. Growing up Catholic meant going to confession, and I hated that too. I never really believed God cared if you went or not. The school priest was really bad when I went to confess he would clasp his hands tightly and put his head between his knees. I never knew if he was feeling faint from what I said or if he was falling asleep. He was fairly old so I suppose it could have been either. Sometimes I would throw in my cousins sins(they were really horrifying. Once he put his cat in a potato chip box and rolled it down the stairs), just to see if the priest was listening. He looked up when I told him that one.

    Anyway, that was completely useless information, because I am avoiding writing about the real question. I did think a lot about it though, and I came up with many things to unlearn and I told Sophie about it. She agreed.

    I just wanted you to know I took the question seriously.

    The only criticism I have, is that it still seems a little dark. I don't know. Not all the people and beliefs and habits and philosophies take us off track. I know you know, but you know?

    For instance, you talked about a four year old girl in your life. Just think of how wonderful that is for her (and you). You are giving her a positive role model. I think the more adults children know the better, because they are bound to get positive messages and love from some of them. It may only take one person to make a difference in a child's life. (I sound like an ad for Big Brothers and Big Sisters)

    That's why I enjoy working with kids because you can give them love and encouragement so they can get positive messages to play in their heads.

    Oh Randy, I would tell Natalie what I need to unlearn, but only in private. 🙂

  21. I dunno, is it better to be present and in acceptance of ones past rather that dwell on the past and think that things could have been different? There's no doubt that I have some areas that could be improved but I think I will see how I react to a current situation and change going forward, not looking back 🙂
    Peace
    Jase

  22. I never really weighed up the "doing differently" because I know differently now, compared to "undoing" the not so helpful influences experiences etc in my life. I love the idea of undoing the not so good anymore, undo what did not serve me and since I've hooked up to your blog Randy, I talk a lot to myself meaning, I'm always questioning myself, its quite awesome. I have lots to undo and Im very pleased to say the progress is well, fantastic. I'm starting to feel amazing everyday!
    “Your REAL self worth is that you were born to be rich, healthy, happy and live a life of abundance.” I just so dig reading that RG.

    1. Hi Karim!

      Yep ... my own personal worthiness demons are showing. 🙂

      But the best thing about them ... once you get the courage to turn the lights on, you find out they were just like 'monsters under the bed' ... not much more than a figment of your own powerful imagination!

      Time for some early Spring cleaning!

      K

  23. Didn't think I was going to get to the bottom of this page. What a great post Randy.

    For me, I am at that point now where I don't think there is anything about my mindset that I can't change, if I want to. It is about pushing the normal boundaries everyday, in everything. "Don't wish for things to be different, become better" (JR), be a better friend, workmate, parent, leader, stretching to become better. Do that often enough everyday, consciously and you will forget (or unlearn)the beliefs that keep you from growing. So action is key to unlearning!

  24. "So what is it that you could undo or unlearn today that would take you closer to your dream?" WOW, that question went deep. It reminded me of two messages I had ingrained growing up.

    The first was, whenever I showed my father art I created, (I won a number of art awards when I was a kid) he would say..."That's nice, but what are you REALLY going to do with your life?". So, what was fundamental to me, I was told over and over had no value. By the age of ten, I was already trying to figure out what else I could do with my life "other than" be an artist and definitely other than 'be myself". ( I was also too sensitive )

    Years later, when I was accepted to the School of Visual Arts in NYC and art was the only thing I wanted to do consistently, he would say, "that's nice, but you know everyone will tell you are talented... until you put a price on your work and ask people to pay for it"

    I think I have been trying to figure out, "what am I really going to do with my life?" for a long time and judging various career paths as never "good enough" or the "right thing". To this day whenever I am actually in my art studio I feel guilty for "wasting time". So, either way I don't get to be satisfied or happy with my career or my art.

    If I am going to unlearn one thing today to bring me closer to my dream, it would be the belief/program that I pretty much have no intrinsic value in the world and that I'm doomed no matter what path I pursue.

    Jeanne

  25. I couldn't let this go without a comment. 🙁

    "If I am going to unlearn one thing today to bring me closer to my dream, it would be the belief/program that I pretty much have no intrinsic value in the world and that I’m doomed no matter what path I pursue."

    Jeanne, may I suggest that you not only 'unlearn' that one, but perhaps burn it at the stake? (I'd be happy to grab a torch and help you!)

    From one woman to another, and someone who also had a Dad for whom nothing was EVER good enough - Dad really did love you, but he certainly never 'saw' you for the brilliant creature you are. (and yes, I am listening to my own words here!)

    This is the time for all of us to quit shrinking and being so cowardly selfish that we keep our talents to ourselves! We have a world to uplift with truth and inspiration!

    Paint (or draw?) us a beautiful picture, Jeanne. We NEED it!

    K ♥

  26. Hi Randy!

    I'd like to lose that sense of split awareness of self and "other" where I look at myself and judge myself from afar. Toddlers are so completely not self-conscious that way. I think that would eliminate a bunch of energy wasted on second-guessing oneself.

    Thanks,
    Lily

  27. I wish I could unlearn self doubt. I have gotten better at it, but I a can not shake the overwhelming fear that I can not fulfill what I want to do therefore why should I start it and let everyone down because I can not finish it.

  28. I have always struggled with having a dreamy positive attitude in a family of 'can't haves' & 'don't desrves'. So I guess my 'undo' would be not allowing that low self esteem to develop & projecting a protective bubble. And love myself!

  29. Just dropping in to say, "I love you, Randy Gage"... And, of course, I admire you...
    I am more & more convinced, that the greater the person, the more helpful he/she is. So it is a PRACTICAL truth that the more people you reach & touch, the greater you are.
    For example, I had been looking for answers for days in my Network Marketing business... And Randy Gage, being at the very top of our Network Marketing organization, answered my question within hours! On Twitter! AWESOME! THANK YOU! God bless you, alright!

  30. Excellent question Randy.

    I could get rid of the thought of "how could it be me" that sometimes show up in my head telling me I am not good enough for what I have been blessed with doing. Although this is a challenge, I am thankful that it is not constant in my life.

    Keep your dreams alive my friend. Blessings.

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  • 68 comments on “Getting Closer to Your Dream”

    1. How to have unlimited belief in everything. No hesitations and no doubts. The sky is the limit type of belief that my children have right now.

      1. I guess, replacing old beliefs IS "undoing" the old ones! The same for food or drinks - forgetting the tempting taste of junk comes only by having healthy food for a time.

        What do you think about that, Randy?

        Best wishes from Latvia!

        1. When you eat ice cream and candy bars it does actually create a physiological craving for more sweets. When you eat salads and fruits, your taste buds adjust and you love the taste.

          -RG

            1. Chocolate, fruit and ice cream. What unfortunate choice! You must eat only fruit if you want to be healty.

            2. Eating junk and healthy stuff at the same time is like undoing only a part from old beliefs and creating new unhelpful ones. Although I don't think chocolate is considered a junk food. 😉 Chocolate's good.

    2. Nice blog post Randy! The one thing I would like to change is my lack of self belief. This business requires a strong sense of belief in yourself and i find it very stressful sometimes and wanting to give up.

    3. Oh Boy. So I read this post first thing this morning and then jumped into the shower to give it some thought, sure that I would come up with my one big ‘need to lose’ item by the time I got out, got ready for the day and sat down to respond.

      By the time I was completely wet, I had something. By the time I was grabbing the body wash I had another. By the time I got to the shampoo I was on number 3! Good damn thing I didn’t need to shave my legs this morning or this post would be just a pinch overwhelming! 😉

      So, here are my TOP 3 things (and for now, we’ll leave it right there) that I know would better serve me if left in the shadow of yesterday (and in no particular order!)

      1) Needing to justify to ANYONE else why I am worthy!

      Having only escaped from victimhood and arrived in the land of believing I’m deserving over the span of this past year, I still find myself acting out of old programming from time to time and once in a while, I get the urge to defend myself and respond with the laundry list of my ‘good points’ when someone shows up to challenge my worthiness. Here’s my new behavior of choice – silently smile and ‘ease on down the road’! I’m NOT arguing for my rights to a brilliant life anymore! If you aren’t on my team, go play in someone else’s game!

      2) Needing to do everything without asking for help!

      Like I have said a gazillion times lately – just because I can fix the toilet all by myself, doesn’t mean I WANT to!!! I have always been very independent and resourceful, making it my habit to go it alone and not ‘bother others’ too much by asking for help. How ridiculous! If we were meant to do everything by ourselves, we would be the only one on the planet! If I want to build a truly prosperous life, then I need a whole team on my side. I need mentors, I need helpers, I need coaches, I need friends. And this is the year I’m surrounding myself with the BEST of the BEST!

      And finally …

      3) My Super Hero Cape!

      This one is hardest for me to hang up, so here goes my new affirmation:

      I do not need to be the answer to everyone else’s problem!

      Doesn’t mean I am not going to help others. Doesn’t mean I am not going to be available in a crisis where I am moved to be of assistance. DOES mean I don’t need to put every criminal behind bars, every crooked salesman out of business and save my friends and children from their own lessons by interfering and handling consequences they need to feel so they won’t hurt too bad – even at my own expense.

      Someone new is worth my time … ME! I’ve spent a long, long time ignoring myself - and I’ve got some making up to do! This year, I’m building my BIG life so that I can then help others do the same without even feeling winded. Serve from a place of self-fulness, not self-deficit.

      Okay, there – I put it on (virtual) paper and I’m gonna hold myself to it … all of it! Because this is my year!

      K

      1. You go girl ... couldn't have said it better myself (lol). Now I'm on MY way to the shower and can't wait to see what I think about 🙂

      2. Awesome post, KimbraLee! So many things you said so well, including ---

        "If you aren’t on my team, go play in someone else’s game!" (I really like that one!) and "If I want to build a truly prosperous life, then I need a whole team on my side."

        But the best was "Someone new is worth my time … ME!" Sounds like you're going to have a terrific year!
        jim

      3. Hi Kimbralee
        Have you been reading my mind is it just my perception or is there a common thread In your post so many of us feel the need to feel worthy, justify our existence an feel compelled to solve the worlds problems. These limiting core beliefs effect so many of us I wish I could find and eradicate the source so future generations wouldn't have to spend years to overcome this negative debilitating teaching

        Brian

      4. Wow K, I am inspired! I can feel your energy and LOVE it!! Way to go. Randy already had me thinking, but as I was on my way to reply I read your post and forgot what I was going to say.

        I will sit with your words and get clear on some ideas of my own to hang up!! Thank you for adding your detailed thoughts!

        xox
        HelenRappy

      5. Wow!

        Just checked back in here to see ALL these comments! Sounds like maybe water might be the great conductor to tapping into the collective unconscious since we ALL seem to be faced with some of these same issues! (No wonder I get so many of my great inspirations from 'shower moments'!)

        I am happy to report that I justified to no one yesterday. I made a list of others I could go to for help in certain fields and although I thought about my glistening super hero cape once when I got a "I'm in a pickle" call from my oldest daughter, I took NO steps toward the closet! Score 1 point for me!

        Day 1 ... B+.

        I know this will get better with practice and we will all do some crazy, good stuff in our own lives if we keep our commitment to ourselves!

        Here's to hoping everyone of us gets some of our own undivided attention this weekend and walks into next week with some great momentum. We are SO WORTH IT!

        🙂 K

    4. For me it's more about doing and learning than the undoing and unlearning. If I focus on what is wrong so I can make it right, I just get more of what I focus on that is wrong. I improve more by getting quiet and visualizing all that is right and all that I am grateful for as well as how I want my life to unfold going forward, then I let it go and ask God to bring it to me if it is his purpose for me."Thy Will Be Done" It never fails that when I do this, life just unfolds in front of me. And since I am looking for the good, it usually shows up. Not always, but when it doesn't, that is my trigger or gauge, to evaluate why and if what is occuring is requiring change or removal or improvement. I am more effective at making change occur since it is happening at the time it is connected to emotion. All change occurs best when there is feeling attached to it. It's like Randy mentioned above, if you watch a child, they don't project negative, they anticipate joy which should be our natural state.

    5. The trouble with learning is you can't undo it. What would it take to unlearn how to ride a bicycle? [If that was the plan.] If it were even possible it would likely ‘disappear’ a lot of other, potentially great parts of the learning, with it.

      That doesn't mean you have to ever ride a bicycle again.

      Kimbra is right on target. We are all programmed to be the next dynamic super hero needing no one, riding in on our trusty rocket, saving the day ensuring everyone else around us never has to grow up or be responsible for who they are.

      I know many people who are willing to do anything for anyone and do at the slightest drop of an ‘ask’ and yet... they don't know how or are afraid to return the favor.

      Having caught my dream too many times without having a bigger one already calling me into action I have several on standby alongside the ‘won’ I am working on.

      The thinking required to get to where we are will be insufficient to bring us to where we want to be. The bad news for many is the instructions for getting out of the box are on the outside of the box and we will have to trust someone outside the box giving us the instructions. PS they are in a language that is unknown inside the box.

      1. Michael -

        Can I just say that you so nicely put into words with the last paragraph of your post something I have spent a lot of time thinking about recently? It seems that only once we are on the 'other side' of a learning curve can we look back and see how the 'way out' was all around us all the time, but we couldn't recognize it from that vantage point, where now it is as clear as a bell. 🙂

        But - such is the paradox of learning, I suppose. And YES - that is why we are all here. We are both student ... and teacher, to many! 😉

        K

    6. Great post, Randy. Emerson said, "we must unlearn the wisdom of the world." We're walking around thinking, feeling and acting like we're these limited, pathetic creatures, at the effect of the Universe. To me, THE key to life is to unlearn who I think I am and remember the Truth of who I am: a divine expression of God, limitless in all ways. Prosperity and all that entails is my divine inheritance. It's not separate from me or something "out there" that I need to attract. It's who I am. It's who everyone is. Lester Levinson said it so well: "everything you're looking for is right where you are."

    7. I think the biggest thing for to "undo" and overcome is the habit I have of over-analyzing. By this I mean over-analyzing if I am doing the right thing in reaching an objective. When I have a goal or objective in mind I get so caught up in the details of how I need to make it happen, that I then get frustrated when the "path" needs to deviate, or I question if the details and plans are the best path to my ultimate objective. When I look back at my biggest accomplishments, I realize that I just went for it. Your title of today's post struck a nerve with me as I can see some major objectives I've had getting closer to reality, but I still frustrate myself with too much emphasis on little details that aren't, in reality, so significant.
      Maybe what it really comes down to is needing to be a perfectionist, and by that having everything move along perfectly in the process. A saying I saw recently (was it here?) has stuck with me though.... you don't need to be perfect, you need to be excellent. I'm working on that. Anyway, thanks for letting this blog be a forum for me to ramble 🙂

      1. Hi RJ,
        I did the paralysis analysis for years. You are on the right track. Just pull the trigger. Failure is inevitable. Just look at it positively that once you fail you have one less thing to fail with. Allowing instead of forcing will get you to where you are going a lot faster. I'm going after my pilots license and you know what is fascinating about this. You are always off course. Great way to look at perfection and overanalysis. We are going to get off course now and again, it's just a matter of correcting once you recognize it. It's great to know where you are going and have a plan but if you just allow yourself to take action and respond to the success's and failures, it's much more enjoyable and will get you where you are going much faster. At least that's how it works for me and a plane.

        1. My over-analyzing doesn't really paralyze me in the process, but it does cause maximum frustration. I like your analogy with flying. Good luck with getting your license!

      2. Perfection is a hard thing to undo. I see my mother struggling with it in her old age. It makes people hard to ask others for help. I have that tendency not to be able to ask but I have learned to let go. I always try to achieve the peak moment in my life per day and not worry to be perfect at everything.

    8. I don't know how anyone would "unlearn" anything. On the other hand, we are more than capable of learning new beliefs and behaviors to manifest what we want.

      Many people talk about eliminating "negative beliefs." Good luck with that. What I have found to work is to create a new belief or behavior and reinforce it until it becomes a dominant belief. The brain and subconscious mind will go with the dominant belief. Even though the old "negative" belief is still there, it will be irrelevant.

    9. One important belief and behavior is to seek first to understand, then to be understood. It's very easy to react to what another says and then do a knee jerk response instead of stopping and thinking first. When we seek to understand another before spurting out our ideas, intentions, etc. we gain a better sense of the other person and can then make comments or communicate in a way that's received and appreciated.

      And yes, this is one of Covey's "Seven Habits" but it's worth being said. If we're willing to acknowledge how we operate in favor of growing to a more evolved state, we get closer to Source. And the closer we are the more abundant our life grows.

      Thanks Randy.

    10. For me, this is one of those questions that on the surface, I can answer immediately and grasp. But if I think too long on it, the answer eludes me.

      So here's my quick answer so I can grasp it.

      All of my programs that need 'undoing' come down to ONE fundamental 'fear' that I have worked on overcoming for years.

      This is my ONE fundamental competing commitment: Fear of not being liked and accepted by others.

      If I peel back the layers of my programs they all come down to that basic one. I think for most they do as well.

      So I've been working on that, AND teaching my kids to not fear what others think because, it doesn't matter. Bad OR good. We do what we must do, with integrity, for ourselves. Not anyone else.

      Ya, I'm programming them, but I'm hoping to be programming them in ways that will allow them to fly.

      This is what self development and self growth is for me. 😉

      1. Jhanna -

        Well said! I think you are right on with this. No matter what internal dragons we battle - when we finally slay them and pull off the mask, at the core they are always the same ... fear of not being lovable, good enough, worthy. And they apply to every area of our lives - finances, relationships, health. Your children are so fortunate that you've already realized this and are helping them to consciously avoid some of that negative programming. Less to 'undo' later in life! 🙂

    11. So far this year has been all about undoing, rethinking, restructuring, and actually it has been a lot more fun that just doing all the time.

    12. After reading this blog I was on my way to take a shower. I was thinking, Randy is absolutely right … personal growth is more about ‘undoing’ than ‘doing’ and like KimbraLee, I was giving thought to those things I wanted to ‘get rid of.’ I had quite a different experience, though. Rather than take a shower, I filled the tub with hot water, tons of bubbles and I laid back into the water to think of all those things I wanted to undo. Surprisingly, snippets of things I have read over the last couple of years began running through my head like a little made for TV movie … you know the 30-minute TV show which is actually 5-minute snippets of all last season’s episodes. Too numerous to mention all of them but things like, “put your hand on your heart and say … ‘if I were not afraid I would…'” and “You should walk through space and time toward that time in the future expecting that it will be there.” From Randy’s virtual seminar yesterday, “Your REAL self worth is that you were born to be rich, healthy, happy and live a life of abundance.”

      Then the ‘fiddler’ appeared and I began hearing the faint sounds of his fiddle. For those of you old enough to remember the movie, “Fiddler on the Roof” I particularly loved that movie because I knew that fiddler. I had heard him thousands of times before, and there he was on the big screen so many years ago. Sadly, my parents convinced me the music I heard was that of a Pied Piper luring me to a certain death. I believed them and buried my fiddler along with my spirit and conformed. Not meaning to sound like my life has been dull and boring … by NO stretch of the imagination. Someone wrote this about the writer, Ann Lamott, “she skates on the edge of dysfunction but faces the side of spirit with humor.” I saved it because it pretty much sums up MY life … the Lucy and Desi Comedy Hour with ME being Lucy and pretty much always in trouble.

      Maybe some of the reasons personal development is so hard is because we DO seem to make too much of things … maybe we DO spend way too much time digging to find out what caused something rather than just finding time to ‘fix’ it … and maybe we just are afraid to trust those things we ‘know’.

      Finally, maybe if we would just realize that “One of the many fringe benefits of having sneaky, pushy, and demanding people in your life, comes when you realize - usually at the end of a long day, deep in thought, with a pot of warm cherry Kool-Aid by your side - that in spite of all the drama, huffing, and puffing, no one can keep you from yours.” (~~TUT)

      END of rant.

    13. We attract all circumstances and choose our own reactions. We bend the universe to our will at all times. That is the hardest thing for people to realize.

      Babies and toddlers are consciously aware of things that are never confirmed by people around them. So they undo and unlearn, but on some level they always know, and we can never un-know.

      And then it's what you do with your knowing.

      In some cases people don't even realize they are on track. They have made the right choices and decisions. They have been listening to the voice within. They do what they are supposed to do. And when you know you are doing the right thing, don't get sidetracked and start doubting because someone else has a different opinion. What do they really want from you? What does it really mean? Do they have a problem? Look at it from all angles.

      Rediscover yourself.

    14. Yes.Since I started be conscious about how far I was from that succes I suddenly understood could exist even for me,I have done nothing but undoing.It is like if I lived my life backwards now first.I have to get rid of things,thoughts,exhusbands,moms,sisters,schools,workingplaces,furnitures,things,thoughts,schools,workingplaces,things,stores,furniture.....it is a never ending carousel again and again.The funny was my last workingplace which made me totally paralyzed,the people there made me feel small,stupid,unworthy,childish...and they together,with that working place and all that was there,became like a symbol for me in what I had to get rid of in my life...even the thoughts.One day I felt This is my last day here(have only worked there a short while)and when we were drinking coffee,they brought up the topic.They also didn´t think I was the person for them...I left, happy and scared in the same time.But all it symbolized was gone!
      I undid it,by working there.NO, I DON´T WANT TO BE LIKE THAT,was my thought.Take it away.I even stopped drinking cofee because of our terrible coffeebreaks...I have lots of things to undo still,but the day ofter something happened that used to happen to me in my youth.I went to a place to eat luch and started to talk with the owner and suddenly she offered me a job there!The day after I lost the other one AND this was the kind of job I used to have in my youth and loved but in the latest ten years no opportunity came up.I asked myself;have I "undone" ten years of my life and now I am open to my old things reborned again?It was a great feeling.I felt Oh my god,my self has come back and I feel GREAT.

    15. I would issue a health warning about Psychology which is based on churning up and judging people's past. And then I would propose that all psychologists take a new degree in 'Now-ology' coupled with a diploma in advanced Law of Attraction skills. Added to that I would recommend that all parents of children (of any age) make a date to sit down together and tell each other how very much they love each other. This would sort out an aweful lot of 'undoing' extremely fast.
      Loving and Gage-ing
      Dream Warrior Jenni P

    16. True wisdom Randy,

      Undoing and unlearning is a first step
      for many, on their way to success.

      However, Like I've heard said before:
      First ya gotta get the man out of the River,
      before you can get the River out of the Man!

      You do a great job Randy,
      of pulling people out of that river!

      ~Robert

    17. Great thought/question!

      Remember who you were and what you thought/felt when you were 7?

      It's tough getting rid of the junk that got in the way since then, but that kid is still there, cheering you on.

      If you listen closely, you can hear him/her...

      "You can do it....You can do it...You can do it."

    18. Well, I guess we all are a victim of programming. Even my parents, both of whom who were high income earners, had some lack issues they learned from their parents. My Dad equated wanting more money with greed and because of this he did not look for opportunities to increase wealth like I do. He keeps asking me what am I going to do with all this land I keep buying. This causes me to be a bit flabbergasted and a bit speechless. I just tell him he should have bought that mile of waterfront that was for sale for so long in the late 80's for $75,000. You know what that mile of waterfront is worth today? - about a 1000 dollars per linear foot of shoreline. I think most people could unlearn NOT to seek out opportunities. I keep telling the people I know to invest in land but none of them do.

    19. I have been reading a lot of Catherine Ponder recently and could not figure out what I needed to release from my life. This blog helped me clarify it quite well, thank you Randy. I need to "unlearn" the belief that if I make a choice to not have someone in my life, that I am a bad person.
      For many years my company and I were EXTREMELY successful and wealthy. When my daughter started having some issues I had to ask her father (my ex husband) to come help. And then my Mom (my best friend) passed away. My business and I suffered. But now I see the reason why. He is the type of individual that does not want success and he always tells me and my kids "money is not everything" and that everyone should be satisfied with "their lot in life".
      My new lesson is....live the life that is BEST for myself, which includes happiness, peace, love and ALOT of success and prosperity.
      The saying is so true...be careful of who you allow yourself to spend time with.

      1. Amy- Keep in mind that "release" isn't just about letting go of stuff. It also refers to releasing our prosperity, love, peace, etc, from within us. Prosperity isn't something we obtain, it's what we are, our natural state. We just need to release it from within. Often times this is accomplished by the undoing and unlearning Randy is referring to.

    20. I liked this post, but I don't want to answer the question out loud, because I am a private person. Growing up Catholic meant going to confession, and I hated that too. I never really believed God cared if you went or not. The school priest was really bad when I went to confess he would clasp his hands tightly and put his head between his knees. I never knew if he was feeling faint from what I said or if he was falling asleep. He was fairly old so I suppose it could have been either. Sometimes I would throw in my cousins sins(they were really horrifying. Once he put his cat in a potato chip box and rolled it down the stairs), just to see if the priest was listening. He looked up when I told him that one.

      Anyway, that was completely useless information, because I am avoiding writing about the real question. I did think a lot about it though, and I came up with many things to unlearn and I told Sophie about it. She agreed.

      I just wanted you to know I took the question seriously.

      The only criticism I have, is that it still seems a little dark. I don't know. Not all the people and beliefs and habits and philosophies take us off track. I know you know, but you know?

      For instance, you talked about a four year old girl in your life. Just think of how wonderful that is for her (and you). You are giving her a positive role model. I think the more adults children know the better, because they are bound to get positive messages and love from some of them. It may only take one person to make a difference in a child's life. (I sound like an ad for Big Brothers and Big Sisters)

      That's why I enjoy working with kids because you can give them love and encouragement so they can get positive messages to play in their heads.

      Oh Randy, I would tell Natalie what I need to unlearn, but only in private. 🙂

    21. I dunno, is it better to be present and in acceptance of ones past rather that dwell on the past and think that things could have been different? There's no doubt that I have some areas that could be improved but I think I will see how I react to a current situation and change going forward, not looking back 🙂
      Peace
      Jase

    22. I never really weighed up the "doing differently" because I know differently now, compared to "undoing" the not so helpful influences experiences etc in my life. I love the idea of undoing the not so good anymore, undo what did not serve me and since I've hooked up to your blog Randy, I talk a lot to myself meaning, I'm always questioning myself, its quite awesome. I have lots to undo and Im very pleased to say the progress is well, fantastic. I'm starting to feel amazing everyday!
      “Your REAL self worth is that you were born to be rich, healthy, happy and live a life of abundance.” I just so dig reading that RG.

      1. Hi Karim!

        Yep ... my own personal worthiness demons are showing. 🙂

        But the best thing about them ... once you get the courage to turn the lights on, you find out they were just like 'monsters under the bed' ... not much more than a figment of your own powerful imagination!

        Time for some early Spring cleaning!

        K

    23. Didn't think I was going to get to the bottom of this page. What a great post Randy.

      For me, I am at that point now where I don't think there is anything about my mindset that I can't change, if I want to. It is about pushing the normal boundaries everyday, in everything. "Don't wish for things to be different, become better" (JR), be a better friend, workmate, parent, leader, stretching to become better. Do that often enough everyday, consciously and you will forget (or unlearn)the beliefs that keep you from growing. So action is key to unlearning!

    24. "So what is it that you could undo or unlearn today that would take you closer to your dream?" WOW, that question went deep. It reminded me of two messages I had ingrained growing up.

      The first was, whenever I showed my father art I created, (I won a number of art awards when I was a kid) he would say..."That's nice, but what are you REALLY going to do with your life?". So, what was fundamental to me, I was told over and over had no value. By the age of ten, I was already trying to figure out what else I could do with my life "other than" be an artist and definitely other than 'be myself". ( I was also too sensitive )

      Years later, when I was accepted to the School of Visual Arts in NYC and art was the only thing I wanted to do consistently, he would say, "that's nice, but you know everyone will tell you are talented... until you put a price on your work and ask people to pay for it"

      I think I have been trying to figure out, "what am I really going to do with my life?" for a long time and judging various career paths as never "good enough" or the "right thing". To this day whenever I am actually in my art studio I feel guilty for "wasting time". So, either way I don't get to be satisfied or happy with my career or my art.

      If I am going to unlearn one thing today to bring me closer to my dream, it would be the belief/program that I pretty much have no intrinsic value in the world and that I'm doomed no matter what path I pursue.

      Jeanne

    25. I couldn't let this go without a comment. 🙁

      "If I am going to unlearn one thing today to bring me closer to my dream, it would be the belief/program that I pretty much have no intrinsic value in the world and that I’m doomed no matter what path I pursue."

      Jeanne, may I suggest that you not only 'unlearn' that one, but perhaps burn it at the stake? (I'd be happy to grab a torch and help you!)

      From one woman to another, and someone who also had a Dad for whom nothing was EVER good enough - Dad really did love you, but he certainly never 'saw' you for the brilliant creature you are. (and yes, I am listening to my own words here!)

      This is the time for all of us to quit shrinking and being so cowardly selfish that we keep our talents to ourselves! We have a world to uplift with truth and inspiration!

      Paint (or draw?) us a beautiful picture, Jeanne. We NEED it!

      K ♥

    26. Hi Randy!

      I'd like to lose that sense of split awareness of self and "other" where I look at myself and judge myself from afar. Toddlers are so completely not self-conscious that way. I think that would eliminate a bunch of energy wasted on second-guessing oneself.

      Thanks,
      Lily

    27. I wish I could unlearn self doubt. I have gotten better at it, but I a can not shake the overwhelming fear that I can not fulfill what I want to do therefore why should I start it and let everyone down because I can not finish it.

    28. I have always struggled with having a dreamy positive attitude in a family of 'can't haves' & 'don't desrves'. So I guess my 'undo' would be not allowing that low self esteem to develop & projecting a protective bubble. And love myself!

    29. Just dropping in to say, "I love you, Randy Gage"... And, of course, I admire you...
      I am more & more convinced, that the greater the person, the more helpful he/she is. So it is a PRACTICAL truth that the more people you reach & touch, the greater you are.
      For example, I had been looking for answers for days in my Network Marketing business... And Randy Gage, being at the very top of our Network Marketing organization, answered my question within hours! On Twitter! AWESOME! THANK YOU! God bless you, alright!

    30. Excellent question Randy.

      I could get rid of the thought of "how could it be me" that sometimes show up in my head telling me I am not good enough for what I have been blessed with doing. Although this is a challenge, I am thankful that it is not constant in my life.

      Keep your dreams alive my friend. Blessings.

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