Sign InMy Account

Changing Your Story

Posted By: Randy GageJanuary 24, 2011

Great discussion going on the last post about beliefs being set in childhood. So Alf raises the question of changing your belief and wants to know how hard it is at a mature age.  Truth is, it’s really not that hard to change your beliefs – IF you are aware of them and make that choice.  But that’s a big if…

My grandfather left my grandmother for a younger woman and they never spoke to each other again.  He then got divorced and remarried again.  My parents divorced and I never met my father.  Both my aunts and uncles and a great aunt got divorced.  In fact, there never was a long-term, stable, happy marriage in my family tree that I saw ever!  Now what are the odds that I grew up with a distorted view of marriage and relationships?

Only after 11 negative dysfunctional relationships in a row, and finally agreeing to counseling, did I actually recognize this.

I grew up poor and was jealous of rich people and didn’t like them.  So over the years I kept trying to get rich, not realizing that my subconscious mind was telling me, “Better stop doing that, or you’ll become one of the evil, mean, nasty rich people!”

See where this is going?

If you were trained at four, five or six years old that you were born a sorry sinner…  Or that you owe a karmic debt, or need 100 lifetimes to find enlightenment…  Or that the government is supposed to take care of you…

Your view of the world, your vision for the future is pretty much set by the time you’re ten years old.  And that’s the book that gets written, until and unless you become aware of the plotline and decide to change the story.

So how you doing on that?

-RG

127 comments on “Changing Your Story”

  1. Randy...I know we have different spiritual world view, but I thought I would weigh in with a comment. I have heard you reference the Christian idea of original sin/universal sin within man as a mind virus. I see it quite differently.

    Let's just look at it from a mental programming point of view alone. The idea of sin explains the behavior of man corporately through the ages in oppressing his fellow man, and truly engaging in evil acts. Having said that, Christianity then adds to the equation. It describes a God of love who sacrifices himself to redeem the individual...not just for the future but for now. So, rather than an evil mind virus I see the point of sin and free redemption and transformation being a call to worthiness and transcendence.

    1. The issue I'm raising here are whether your beliefs serve you or cause you to sabotage yourself. It sounds like you feel yours serve you and if so, I'm happy for you. I do think for millions of people the belief that they were programmed with that they are born flawed prevents them from accepting the abundance they could have.

      Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

      -RG

    2. I am changing my story, everyday, consciously. I am RC and while that will remain on my birth certificate, I am open to finding others' philosophy. My question to Brian is why should we have to accept the original sin in the first place? A new mind born, should be fresh and free. A new mind/soul should not have to be redeemed before the first steps are taken into the world. I am appreciative of having a RC upbringing, but I see that "original sin concept" seems to be repetitious and manifests into lots of areas in our life. Pre-judging, I believe is just one example.

  2. I'm currently working through what I'd call a suspicion of the rich myself as I attempt to build wealth. It's only put me in bankruptcy court once and left me broke several other times!

    I'm on track for finishing a complete overhaul (something I've thought was done about ten times already) and look forward to really stepping into my purpose and the wealth -- physical, spiritual and financial -- that comes with it.

  3. -RG,

    I like the "Changing Your Story" opening. We are set with a prescriptive plot line of all the negative stuff even if it was given to us with the best of intentions.

    We do have the power but more importantly the authority to rewrite the scrip and make it a story (life) of what we truly want out of this journey.

    Mahalo,

    -DJM

      1. Oh no, I think maybe Randy said it. He said changing your beliefs is not hard, if you recognize them. Well, I don't know if I agree with that or not. Some beliefs are probably easier to change than others. But, in all honesty, I really can't think of anything quite as challeging as challenging ourselves to examine our beliefs and change them.

        Our beliefs are embedded in emotions that were super scary when we were young. If for example, your parents got divorced or a parent left and never came back, or you were abused emotionally or physically, you experienced emotions that were overwhelming to a young child, so unless an adult helped you understand those emotions, they were most likely repressed. Repressed emotions then pop up when we're older and we experience a similar situation.

        The challenge comes in recognizing the belief behind the emotions, and irradicating it. The first challenge, I think though is learning to deal with the emotion. These are powerful scary emotions and as a child or an adult the may feel overwhelming. However, as an adult we are able to handle these emotions, it does however take a lot of strength and support.

        Jeanne wrote a really good exercise for this on the last blog.

        This might be easier for some than others, I think it is a difficult and arduous process, but well worth the time and energy. In fact, it is necessary to be really emotionally healthy.

        Psychologist's sometimes refer to it as reparenting yourself. I think that is the same as changing your story. My opinion.

        1. Actually I was doing what the psychologists call projection. Because for me, 95 percent of the battle is recognizing when a belief doesn't serve me, then I change it almost instantaneously. But for some people this is a much more drawn out process.

          -RG

          1. Randy, What did you do with the emotions? I only ask because for me this is hard. You said yesterday we would go deeper into that. Will you?

            Thanks,
            Annie

        2. I happen to agree with Annie on this one I don't think changing our beliefs are as simple a you suggest for many it's a process they have to commit to on a daily basis to re-wire the brain with new and healthy life affirming statements.

  4. Doing great and you said it...only when I am aware of the story and its origin can I change the story. My life today truly is a beautiful reflection of a redefined version of myself that is a result of countering the stories I received from my dad, teachers, society, religion, an ex-wife and more. It takes work, though. It takes having courage enough to feel it at the core of one's being and coming back to be able to move beyond the original story. I believe also you/I can't talk or write our way through it, but must experience our way through it. Only then, I believe, can we change our story.

  5. I think the most difficult part is to get aware of it.

    If you realize that it is this way or that way you are thinking then it becomes easy to change.

    But before that we don´t realize that we are only think this way - we think it IS like it IS.

    The sky is blue - women or men always cheat - we can´t earn a million per day - and so on...

  6. I don't know RG, I think changing beliefs in some cases is really difficult, at least for me.

    I think for people who live in poverty, have lots of beliefs that are really difficult to overcome.

    You know, I think I have had an "aha" moment just now. This is personal, but here it goes. If you really believe that changing beliefs is simple, you must think it is simple for everyone. Well, I very much disagree. Change is a long difficult process for many, including those who live in poverty. Maybe this is why we don't agree about what it takes to help those in poverty or for those in poverty to help themselves.

    Changing anything it is difficult. It takes courage, tenacity, and most importantly Support. Support. Support. Support. Whether that is financially or emotionally or physically or whatever. We need each other to change. We need love to change. Some people need government money to change.

    This is not to say that sometimes giving love and money doesn't go wrong and defeat the purpose, because well, sometimes it does. But it is worth the effort. And worth making some mistakes, until it turns out right.

    If we were not told as children we are loveable and worthy, it is helpful as adults to hear that from someone other than ourselves as well. Yes, we must be able to tell our selves and rely on ourselves to give ourselves the love we need, but it isn't easy if your parents or gaurdians never told you. So, we need other people to tell us too. As adults. We need other Adults to tell us we are worthy and loveable.

    I always seem to wonder off into to tangent land. This is long so I will shut up now.

    Are you sorry you gave it back?

    Anyway, I am glad you were born Randy, you are a light in the world. Truly.

  7. Randy, you make a comment above that for you 95% of the battle is recognizing when a belief doesn't serve you,and once you have done that then you change it almost instantaneously. Can you share a little on the process you have for changing a belief? Is there some type of process you follow in creating or instilling a new belief?
    Thanks again for a great post.

  8. Randy, you said in a reply above, "Because for me, 95 percent of the battle is recognizing when a belief doesn’t serve me...."

    But for me (and, I suspect from the other comments, for many others as well), it's the reverse --- it's fairly easy for me to recognize the beliefs that don't serve me, but changing those beliefs is far more difficult.

    Has changing your beliefs always been easy for you, or did you eventually learn or develop that particular skill? If so, how? Thanks!
    jim

  9. I am currently changing my story!! It is not easy, but it is worthwhile. I may be somewhat naive about these issues, but I believe that it can happen for those who truly desire it to happen, and work at it!!

    Thanks for the great words Randy!

  10. I totally agreed with you here. Until you become aware, you can not change your story.

    The teachings, actions and stories of the people in your environment during your younger years are what lead you to habits you currently have.

    However you can allow you awareness of not wanting things to stay are they are help you form new habits to replace your old ones.

  11. When I was a child I intuitively believe that abundance (happiness, mental/emotional and physical well-being, fearless) and money prosperity (I use to count all my Papi's hundred dollar bills every night) was the norm; it was a natural state of being for me.

    But, then I got to grammar school/religious instruction and I learned money is evil, give your money away, don't accumulate wealth, money doesn't grow on trees, save you money for a rainy day because there won't be anymore opportunities to earn it, etc..

    Well, I have been on an on-going spiritual journey for many years, but in the last two years I have been focusing on learning and correcting my money issues. I am committed to breakthroughs this year regarding my financial growth. It has been a long road to unlearning my self-sabotaging behavior, but it doesn't have to be. Today, I choose self-responsibility and discovering endless possibilities of creative abundance & prosperity.

    Thus far, I have learned that money is energy, it either flows to you or you repel it. Your thoughts are very powerful so your outer world is an indication of your inner world. Now, I pay more attention and manage my thoughts and willing to change my thinking about money.

    Most importantly, AWARENESS was the first BIG breakthrough, and now I am looking forward to an endless supply of surprises from the Fountain of 'The Source'. Let's start rocking the boat, our Thinking first.

    Journey ON,
    Leslie

    * Thanks Randy!

  12. Randy,

    All anyone can do is notice... most cannot. The noticing gives you a choice to follow a different path, if even for just one time…

    I did a course in the early 90's where everyone wrote down all their rules, commitments, plans, beliefs... over 3 days we did a lot of writing based on questions asked from the front of the room. Then we assembled the mishmash and I discovered:

    Most of what I had planned, committed or believed had an opposite or apposing belief in place that no matter what I did had me frustrated or upset because I always broke a rule or some belief.

    I cleaned out, set out a path for the next 250 years. I implemented a strategy to operate inside of one paradigm at a time. I then began following the 'bread crumbs' to see where they go. This year I implemented the newest rule...

    Whenever something doesn't work out the way I think it should or thought it would, instead of thinking that something went wrong or is wrong, I see it as something that went unexpectedly well, but for reasons that are not yet apparent.

    Instead of getting stuck I keep following the bread crumbs knowing there is nothing wrong with me... or you... or anyone.

    Michael

  13. I am a Muslim, I thank God for having given me everything for what he gave me a reason, I ask His help. But God says, you ask, I'll help when you are doing something, you should be happy now and then people will notice and be attracted to us.
    Not all sometimes get, but I try

  14. The easiest way to change a limiting belief is to get away from others who share that belief and get around people who have the new desired belief. In about 90 days it is completely transformed.

    Simple 🙂

  15. I was the product of parents who stayed together but were very unhappy. Subsequestly, I grew up in a depressed, confrontational home, where I became the peace keeper and professional people pleaser. I married a man who I felt I could fix and since I was so darn good at it, I took on the task for 18 years. Yes, 18 (so don't any of you think you are slow learners). Since my parents stayed together, I felt compelled to stay. It wasn't until I attended Anthony Robbins Mastery University with my ex,( if I couldn't fix him, I was sure Tony could.) I returned and took on the world and he resented my success along with all my family and friends. It took 3 weeks of intense training with Tony to find out about how my values and beliefs were taking me in the direction I was going. If I could give any advise on this, it would be not to look at negative disempowering beliefs as a difficult thing to change. They are not. Once you identify them, it is in that moment that they can be changed. It sounds like Randy will be guiding you through this in the future, so I'll end here.

  16. We have a reptilian brainstem and the rest is pretty much mammalian. Such a combination is rare to say the least.

    So rather than "born in sin", it’s really about this mix of DNA we have. Others instead turn it around and consider it "genetic royalty"! However, reptilian and mammalian don't really go well together, which can even make it difficult to achieve full capacity. On the other hand, we get an extreme range of emotions and feelings, which are key in the intelligence factor, so as always, you can turn things around, and we did choose this human form of experience for some reason that can be understood.

    It's always about taking responsibility for what we have done, not only in finances, but throughout our entire life.

    Ownership gives us power. With that power, we can re-direct into effective change.

  17. Maybe I'm off base here but I believe change is as easy or as hard as we choose to make it.
    Maybe we use our past as an excuse why we can't/wont change? Maybe we say its so difficult, "you don't understand my story" so that the tears can be hidden behind? Maybe the desire to change has not yet been great enough to force the change? Maybe the pain of change is still greater than the pain of the present?

    But unless and until we deal with the cause the effect is going to keep coming back!

  18. Chiming in on this one a little late, but so enjoying reading all the comments thus far. Since I’m a believer that your ‘story’ is comprised of many things – and anything - that causes you to limit your potential, I wanted to add this.

    In the past, I think I've shared that I used to work as a Hypnotherapist and my main service was to assist clients in their process of moving beyond stuck points, which were anything from speech impediments or fears and phobias to relationship issues, poor sports or educational performance or weight issues, and everything else in between. Obviously, all of these behaviors were the symptoms of some pretty unpleasant, intense feelings as well as some severely limiting beliefs in those who struggled with them.

    The process of the therapy style I used was in many ways similar to the exercise that Jeanne described in her post yesterday (awesome post!) only in this case, the client was hypnotized during therapy so that we had direct access to the subconscious mind, which allowed very rapid change to occur.

    The steps in this process consist of 1) Identifying the main powerful emotion that came up when the client focused on the belief or behavior that had them stuck 2) Increasing it until it was front and center in the client’s mind and body, and then 3) Using it as a tether to travel back in time to the initial sensitizing event when both the feeling and the belief associated with that feeling was actually first embedded into their subconscious. (And yes, almost always as Randy suggested above, these events happened before 10 years old.)

    Once back there in memory, they were able to look at that event and the associated beliefs through the perspective of the adult rational mind instead of the child’s mind. Re-education occurred when the client was able to see how that belief no longer served them as a grown adult, forgive any others whom they felt held responsibility for creating the experience, and replace the limiting belief or behavior with a new, more supportive one. Ultimately, the emotional charge was eliminated and the energy that had been trapped around that old event was once again freed up. End result? The behavior changed. We ALL have the ability to do this – eyes open or eyes closed. 🙂

    The main reason I shared this experience and the thing I most wanted to stress here in regards to this whole process of re-writing stories is this … no matter what issues my clients presented with – health, relationships, money, etc - without exception, every one of them could be traced back to a message that they had received that they, as a person, were in some way 'unworthy’. I believe this is true for every single one of us. It may be disguised as one of many faces, and it may not be the first layer or even the second layer of beliefs we have to peel away, but it will nearly always be the last big contender that has to be dealt with. And because my experience has shown me this, I SO believe that it is in looking at our own issue of self-worth that the biggest personal strides can be made - because until we believe we are ‘good enough’, great won’t be able to find us.

    My own internal realization of this over the past year is something that has been a huge key for me in my ongoing journey towards where I want to be.

    K

    1. Hey KimbraLee-
      Great stuff. Thanks.
      These steps are very similar, and I have done what you describe also. I'm glad what I posted made sense. I mostly wanted to make the steps simple and accessible to people who wanted to practice something on their own.

      And you're right...forgiveness is one of the biggest keys to all of it!!! Without forgiveness I think I would be one screwed up mess 🙂

      It's funny, as I was posting yesterday I noticed that I still have an inner voice telling me that I need to be perfect or be quiet, and I certainly shouldn't say "too much". It comes right out of the need to avoid getting in trouble when I was a kid. I didn't ever want to deal with my father's interrogations or wrath, and desperately wanted any kind of positive attention.

      How often do I let THAT belief terrify me and stop me in my tracks?

      I guess no matter how much we grow, there is always more work to do be done;)....once we notice it.
      Isn't the human experience amazing?!!

      Jeanne

      1. Jeanne -

        It sounds like you and I have much in common - possibly including a father! (wink, wink) 😉

        And yes, I agree that the work is ongoing, especially if the damage is deep. But the beauty to me is that once we take that first step and we are able to identify those false voices (whether they be from the inside or out)they may still whisper in our ears from time to time trying to convince us we need to play small - but now, instead of blindly obeying them out of fear, we can recognize them for what they are, bless them, dismiss them and get on with the business of building the rich life that we so deeply deserve. 🙂

        ♥ K

  19. Excuse me a moment please, but I am not so sure we are all understanding this. I think the most important belief we can hold about ourselves is that we are loveable and capable. Some children including myself, grew up without getting that message, or maybe getting it partly, or maybe not getting it enough. Reconstructing those beleifs I feel is a process for many. Other beliefs may well be far easier to change.

    If you instantanously change the moment you realize you were laboring under a false belief, it is most likely because of the work you did just to come to realize the belief you held was not correct.

    However, I would say that sure there very well may be individuals who can change quickly and not need as much help as others, it does not invalidate the fact that for most people it takes some time.

    Also, hopefully we are always changing and growing. Sometimes beliefs serve us for awhile and then they don't. If you can always discover that on your own, thats good news, even better if you can quickly change.

    I think many times people have a resistance to change. Change for most of us is scary and uncomfortable, but also necessary. I also think sometimes we are in the process of changing without realizing it. Sometimes change is slow and gradual and sometimes it is fast and furious I guess.

    Anyways, to those who say it is as easy or as difficult as you make it, I say that could be true in some cases. Be careful of absolutes though, because how difficult is going to be if you hold that belief and find something really difficult to change and you can't find the way to make it easy?

    To be honest, I can think of many beliefs that we need to change that can create lots of pain and sadness in us, just in the realization. I hate to be the one to be cloudy, but pain is a necessary part of living.

    Some people had good parenting and maybe didn't have as many challenges as those of us who didn't. Everyone has parts of them that could be made better, shinier I guess. For those of us who struggle with change it's okay, it is brave just to try, lots of folks don't.

    Just like children who are learning, everyone does it at their own pace.

    "I've seen people try to change and I know it isn't easy, nothing worth the time ever really is...But it's not to late for love"-Norah Jones

    1. Annie 🙂

      I agree with you - change can seem to happen in the blink of an eye or it can appear outwardly as an evolving process, but truly we are working on ourselves every day - consciously or unconsciously. And even after we wake up from our illusions, it still takes practice to learn to navigate life with "eyes that see!"

      K

  20. I believe its possible to change your programing, but it takes work and effort to de-program. Sometimes we think you've delt with an area and something pops up and have to address it again. Most importantly I think we have to really watch the messages we send to our kids/grandkids so we stop the progress of dream stealing.

  21. Always entertaining to read the posts - as far as original sin, great line from that Bon Jovi song, they say you're born with sin, well at least I got something I didn't have to steal or win...
    As a far as you're set by age 10, wonder what people think about the Tiger Mom brouhaha...
    And hey Randy, 11 dysfunctional relationships? you're a sharp guy, didn't you start to see a pattern after maybe, oh I don't know, the 5th or 6th???

      1. Seams like I am slow too.Yesterday it happened to me,I do not know which time in a row,that I had a job,really wanted to quit it,instead of stay home use the phone and say I am not coming anymore,I went there,they brought it up and started to be rude to me telling me things they didn´t like about me and it made me angry I started to argue with the one less sympathic and well,I left five minutes after that telling them I also was going to say I quit this job.But then it is sort of too late.If I came in the morning,left the quey on the table and walked away,I would have felt pleasant.No I am in this thoughts,hearing their words and so on and it didn´t become good.And I always let myself loose.WHY???Shall this things happen to me until I clearly do what I should do before anyone embarass me more than hell.???????????

  22. I've been changing my story for years. For me it's an ongoing process as well as a struggle. That's the story I am now working to change. Studying Law of Attraction has been both interestingly helpful as well as frustrating! I know I shouldn't be thinking a certain way but often find myself Futilely stuck in that Thought process.
    I'm beginning to learn that a positive Audio CD from People like Jim Rohn Or John Maxwell can turn me around. I have also been flooding myself in books about goals & success.
    I do see changes being made (slowly) and know at some point the "Compound Effect" will take me where I want to go.
    Great post & I enjoy your blog!

  23. Randy,
    I agreed with you..I need to change my story..I agree with your opinion. I need to change the way the story of my life .. I'm already bored with the same storyline, sacrifice and finally ended with disappointment.
    I need to change so I can become more successful and excellent. The beginning of my life this year started with a blow of my life.
    Although it painful to change the mix of my life I need to change ..
    Not all disappointed, or failures lead to the destruction of life, perhaps it is a stepping stone for us to understand the meaning of life.
    I love to follow your written ..

  24. Randy. I think that if we open our mind we can change a lot of thougths. Before I didn`t belief this but reading, listening, studing great peoples life and openin my mind I can see things different. Now I agree that IF I want I can change my old mind set to a better mind set. I don't know how long will it take, maybe we never finish the travel to be a better person, but I will go!

  25. Great conversation. The one thing it's critical to understand is how the brain actually works. It's sole goal is physical survival. Nueronal pathways are created as frames of reference so that the brain can constantly predict the next moment thereby protecting the physiology. We live by these nueronal pathways. We see with our brains and not with our eyes. The brain interprets through association with what it already has created pathway for. Given that physiology, the trick is to create new nueronal pathways so that the brain can work for you rather than against you. This is done through repetition. So, yes, rewrite the story but then tell it over and over and over and over and over until its imbedded in the physiology!

  26. I began the journey, and it is a journey... to change my story after receiving the DVD "The Secret". My husband and I and another couple watched it for a little while then put it aside as we thought it was a very long infomercial. After a very difficult year that included an affair and uncertainty about where my life was going, my husband and I watched it again. Along with that was a very poor stint with a therapist who didn't buy into the whole "you can change your self with positive thinking" game. With a complete immersion into the Secret, book, cd and dvd, The Success Principals book and CD, and a number of other positive life changing informatives, we slowly but surely began to change our lives. After three years of learning, a realization that I had abandonment issues, and a confrontation with my father regarding my early childhood, we were able to effectively change the way we were programed in our early years. What happens to a person in their childhood most definitely defines who they become as an adult. If it was a tragic or disturbing childhood, only complete awareness,an ah ha moment, and CHOICE can one break the circle and those binds of negativity, self loathing and underling pain to become the person that they were truly meant to be. It is a daily choice and awareness to keep those old notions at bay and to create new, positive thoughts.
    Sorry to go on a rant with this but there is not a whole lot I am more passionate about that changing ones life for the better. My husband and I have been married for 18 years, we have four amazing boys and our marriage is in such a much better place than it ever was before we were blessed with the power of the positive mind.
    Thank you.

  27. I am tomorrow, or some future day, what I establish today. I am today what I established yesterday or some previous day.

  28. After reading your post and all the comments, I am feeling terrifyed to look at my own worthiness issues and the related emotions. Deep down inside i have convinced myself i am not worthy enough. I have been ashamed to admit this.But not now. I want my abundance now. with gratitude amd love to my mentor, Randy Gage

  29. I never leave comments RG, but today i will, i for 10 years stayed in a living with situation with a lass that i should have ended, but because my side of the family had never been a family of divorce, i felt under pressure to keep that up, i did leave and 3 suicide attemps later i met mark hibbitts who changed my life forever,he sent me your links every day and i have become somewhat a diciple to you, i have given up my 16 year additcion to beer, am losing weight and will be signing up to agel with mark at the end of this month, i dont know if you will ever read this, but thankyou because if you hadnt inspired mark he couldnt have inspired me....
    lee eddington 🙂

  30. Change is what life is all about. Each and every day change happens. For humans change appears to be so difficult because it is so easy to stay stuck in yesterday's drama than letting it go to live in the moment(today)in preparation for tomorrow and it's many possibilities.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

  • Stay Connected

    Subscribe to Randy’s Blog via Email

  • Recent Posts

  • 127 comments on “Changing Your Story”

    1. Randy...I know we have different spiritual world view, but I thought I would weigh in with a comment. I have heard you reference the Christian idea of original sin/universal sin within man as a mind virus. I see it quite differently.

      Let's just look at it from a mental programming point of view alone. The idea of sin explains the behavior of man corporately through the ages in oppressing his fellow man, and truly engaging in evil acts. Having said that, Christianity then adds to the equation. It describes a God of love who sacrifices himself to redeem the individual...not just for the future but for now. So, rather than an evil mind virus I see the point of sin and free redemption and transformation being a call to worthiness and transcendence.

      1. The issue I'm raising here are whether your beliefs serve you or cause you to sabotage yourself. It sounds like you feel yours serve you and if so, I'm happy for you. I do think for millions of people the belief that they were programmed with that they are born flawed prevents them from accepting the abundance they could have.

        Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

        -RG

      2. I am changing my story, everyday, consciously. I am RC and while that will remain on my birth certificate, I am open to finding others' philosophy. My question to Brian is why should we have to accept the original sin in the first place? A new mind born, should be fresh and free. A new mind/soul should not have to be redeemed before the first steps are taken into the world. I am appreciative of having a RC upbringing, but I see that "original sin concept" seems to be repetitious and manifests into lots of areas in our life. Pre-judging, I believe is just one example.

    2. I'm currently working through what I'd call a suspicion of the rich myself as I attempt to build wealth. It's only put me in bankruptcy court once and left me broke several other times!

      I'm on track for finishing a complete overhaul (something I've thought was done about ten times already) and look forward to really stepping into my purpose and the wealth -- physical, spiritual and financial -- that comes with it.

    3. -RG,

      I like the "Changing Your Story" opening. We are set with a prescriptive plot line of all the negative stuff even if it was given to us with the best of intentions.

      We do have the power but more importantly the authority to rewrite the scrip and make it a story (life) of what we truly want out of this journey.

      Mahalo,

      -DJM

        1. Oh no, I think maybe Randy said it. He said changing your beliefs is not hard, if you recognize them. Well, I don't know if I agree with that or not. Some beliefs are probably easier to change than others. But, in all honesty, I really can't think of anything quite as challeging as challenging ourselves to examine our beliefs and change them.

          Our beliefs are embedded in emotions that were super scary when we were young. If for example, your parents got divorced or a parent left and never came back, or you were abused emotionally or physically, you experienced emotions that were overwhelming to a young child, so unless an adult helped you understand those emotions, they were most likely repressed. Repressed emotions then pop up when we're older and we experience a similar situation.

          The challenge comes in recognizing the belief behind the emotions, and irradicating it. The first challenge, I think though is learning to deal with the emotion. These are powerful scary emotions and as a child or an adult the may feel overwhelming. However, as an adult we are able to handle these emotions, it does however take a lot of strength and support.

          Jeanne wrote a really good exercise for this on the last blog.

          This might be easier for some than others, I think it is a difficult and arduous process, but well worth the time and energy. In fact, it is necessary to be really emotionally healthy.

          Psychologist's sometimes refer to it as reparenting yourself. I think that is the same as changing your story. My opinion.

          1. Actually I was doing what the psychologists call projection. Because for me, 95 percent of the battle is recognizing when a belief doesn't serve me, then I change it almost instantaneously. But for some people this is a much more drawn out process.

            -RG

            1. Randy, What did you do with the emotions? I only ask because for me this is hard. You said yesterday we would go deeper into that. Will you?

              Thanks,
              Annie

          2. I happen to agree with Annie on this one I don't think changing our beliefs are as simple a you suggest for many it's a process they have to commit to on a daily basis to re-wire the brain with new and healthy life affirming statements.

    4. Doing great and you said it...only when I am aware of the story and its origin can I change the story. My life today truly is a beautiful reflection of a redefined version of myself that is a result of countering the stories I received from my dad, teachers, society, religion, an ex-wife and more. It takes work, though. It takes having courage enough to feel it at the core of one's being and coming back to be able to move beyond the original story. I believe also you/I can't talk or write our way through it, but must experience our way through it. Only then, I believe, can we change our story.

    5. I think the most difficult part is to get aware of it.

      If you realize that it is this way or that way you are thinking then it becomes easy to change.

      But before that we don´t realize that we are only think this way - we think it IS like it IS.

      The sky is blue - women or men always cheat - we can´t earn a million per day - and so on...

    6. I don't know RG, I think changing beliefs in some cases is really difficult, at least for me.

      I think for people who live in poverty, have lots of beliefs that are really difficult to overcome.

      You know, I think I have had an "aha" moment just now. This is personal, but here it goes. If you really believe that changing beliefs is simple, you must think it is simple for everyone. Well, I very much disagree. Change is a long difficult process for many, including those who live in poverty. Maybe this is why we don't agree about what it takes to help those in poverty or for those in poverty to help themselves.

      Changing anything it is difficult. It takes courage, tenacity, and most importantly Support. Support. Support. Support. Whether that is financially or emotionally or physically or whatever. We need each other to change. We need love to change. Some people need government money to change.

      This is not to say that sometimes giving love and money doesn't go wrong and defeat the purpose, because well, sometimes it does. But it is worth the effort. And worth making some mistakes, until it turns out right.

      If we were not told as children we are loveable and worthy, it is helpful as adults to hear that from someone other than ourselves as well. Yes, we must be able to tell our selves and rely on ourselves to give ourselves the love we need, but it isn't easy if your parents or gaurdians never told you. So, we need other people to tell us too. As adults. We need other Adults to tell us we are worthy and loveable.

      I always seem to wonder off into to tangent land. This is long so I will shut up now.

      Are you sorry you gave it back?

      Anyway, I am glad you were born Randy, you are a light in the world. Truly.

    7. Randy, you make a comment above that for you 95% of the battle is recognizing when a belief doesn't serve you,and once you have done that then you change it almost instantaneously. Can you share a little on the process you have for changing a belief? Is there some type of process you follow in creating or instilling a new belief?
      Thanks again for a great post.

    8. Randy, you said in a reply above, "Because for me, 95 percent of the battle is recognizing when a belief doesn’t serve me...."

      But for me (and, I suspect from the other comments, for many others as well), it's the reverse --- it's fairly easy for me to recognize the beliefs that don't serve me, but changing those beliefs is far more difficult.

      Has changing your beliefs always been easy for you, or did you eventually learn or develop that particular skill? If so, how? Thanks!
      jim

    9. I am currently changing my story!! It is not easy, but it is worthwhile. I may be somewhat naive about these issues, but I believe that it can happen for those who truly desire it to happen, and work at it!!

      Thanks for the great words Randy!

    10. I totally agreed with you here. Until you become aware, you can not change your story.

      The teachings, actions and stories of the people in your environment during your younger years are what lead you to habits you currently have.

      However you can allow you awareness of not wanting things to stay are they are help you form new habits to replace your old ones.

    11. When I was a child I intuitively believe that abundance (happiness, mental/emotional and physical well-being, fearless) and money prosperity (I use to count all my Papi's hundred dollar bills every night) was the norm; it was a natural state of being for me.

      But, then I got to grammar school/religious instruction and I learned money is evil, give your money away, don't accumulate wealth, money doesn't grow on trees, save you money for a rainy day because there won't be anymore opportunities to earn it, etc..

      Well, I have been on an on-going spiritual journey for many years, but in the last two years I have been focusing on learning and correcting my money issues. I am committed to breakthroughs this year regarding my financial growth. It has been a long road to unlearning my self-sabotaging behavior, but it doesn't have to be. Today, I choose self-responsibility and discovering endless possibilities of creative abundance & prosperity.

      Thus far, I have learned that money is energy, it either flows to you or you repel it. Your thoughts are very powerful so your outer world is an indication of your inner world. Now, I pay more attention and manage my thoughts and willing to change my thinking about money.

      Most importantly, AWARENESS was the first BIG breakthrough, and now I am looking forward to an endless supply of surprises from the Fountain of 'The Source'. Let's start rocking the boat, our Thinking first.

      Journey ON,
      Leslie

      * Thanks Randy!

    12. Randy,

      All anyone can do is notice... most cannot. The noticing gives you a choice to follow a different path, if even for just one time…

      I did a course in the early 90's where everyone wrote down all their rules, commitments, plans, beliefs... over 3 days we did a lot of writing based on questions asked from the front of the room. Then we assembled the mishmash and I discovered:

      Most of what I had planned, committed or believed had an opposite or apposing belief in place that no matter what I did had me frustrated or upset because I always broke a rule or some belief.

      I cleaned out, set out a path for the next 250 years. I implemented a strategy to operate inside of one paradigm at a time. I then began following the 'bread crumbs' to see where they go. This year I implemented the newest rule...

      Whenever something doesn't work out the way I think it should or thought it would, instead of thinking that something went wrong or is wrong, I see it as something that went unexpectedly well, but for reasons that are not yet apparent.

      Instead of getting stuck I keep following the bread crumbs knowing there is nothing wrong with me... or you... or anyone.

      Michael

    13. I am a Muslim, I thank God for having given me everything for what he gave me a reason, I ask His help. But God says, you ask, I'll help when you are doing something, you should be happy now and then people will notice and be attracted to us.
      Not all sometimes get, but I try

    14. The easiest way to change a limiting belief is to get away from others who share that belief and get around people who have the new desired belief. In about 90 days it is completely transformed.

      Simple 🙂

    15. I was the product of parents who stayed together but were very unhappy. Subsequestly, I grew up in a depressed, confrontational home, where I became the peace keeper and professional people pleaser. I married a man who I felt I could fix and since I was so darn good at it, I took on the task for 18 years. Yes, 18 (so don't any of you think you are slow learners). Since my parents stayed together, I felt compelled to stay. It wasn't until I attended Anthony Robbins Mastery University with my ex,( if I couldn't fix him, I was sure Tony could.) I returned and took on the world and he resented my success along with all my family and friends. It took 3 weeks of intense training with Tony to find out about how my values and beliefs were taking me in the direction I was going. If I could give any advise on this, it would be not to look at negative disempowering beliefs as a difficult thing to change. They are not. Once you identify them, it is in that moment that they can be changed. It sounds like Randy will be guiding you through this in the future, so I'll end here.

    16. We have a reptilian brainstem and the rest is pretty much mammalian. Such a combination is rare to say the least.

      So rather than "born in sin", it’s really about this mix of DNA we have. Others instead turn it around and consider it "genetic royalty"! However, reptilian and mammalian don't really go well together, which can even make it difficult to achieve full capacity. On the other hand, we get an extreme range of emotions and feelings, which are key in the intelligence factor, so as always, you can turn things around, and we did choose this human form of experience for some reason that can be understood.

      It's always about taking responsibility for what we have done, not only in finances, but throughout our entire life.

      Ownership gives us power. With that power, we can re-direct into effective change.

    17. Maybe I'm off base here but I believe change is as easy or as hard as we choose to make it.
      Maybe we use our past as an excuse why we can't/wont change? Maybe we say its so difficult, "you don't understand my story" so that the tears can be hidden behind? Maybe the desire to change has not yet been great enough to force the change? Maybe the pain of change is still greater than the pain of the present?

      But unless and until we deal with the cause the effect is going to keep coming back!

    18. Chiming in on this one a little late, but so enjoying reading all the comments thus far. Since I’m a believer that your ‘story’ is comprised of many things – and anything - that causes you to limit your potential, I wanted to add this.

      In the past, I think I've shared that I used to work as a Hypnotherapist and my main service was to assist clients in their process of moving beyond stuck points, which were anything from speech impediments or fears and phobias to relationship issues, poor sports or educational performance or weight issues, and everything else in between. Obviously, all of these behaviors were the symptoms of some pretty unpleasant, intense feelings as well as some severely limiting beliefs in those who struggled with them.

      The process of the therapy style I used was in many ways similar to the exercise that Jeanne described in her post yesterday (awesome post!) only in this case, the client was hypnotized during therapy so that we had direct access to the subconscious mind, which allowed very rapid change to occur.

      The steps in this process consist of 1) Identifying the main powerful emotion that came up when the client focused on the belief or behavior that had them stuck 2) Increasing it until it was front and center in the client’s mind and body, and then 3) Using it as a tether to travel back in time to the initial sensitizing event when both the feeling and the belief associated with that feeling was actually first embedded into their subconscious. (And yes, almost always as Randy suggested above, these events happened before 10 years old.)

      Once back there in memory, they were able to look at that event and the associated beliefs through the perspective of the adult rational mind instead of the child’s mind. Re-education occurred when the client was able to see how that belief no longer served them as a grown adult, forgive any others whom they felt held responsibility for creating the experience, and replace the limiting belief or behavior with a new, more supportive one. Ultimately, the emotional charge was eliminated and the energy that had been trapped around that old event was once again freed up. End result? The behavior changed. We ALL have the ability to do this – eyes open or eyes closed. 🙂

      The main reason I shared this experience and the thing I most wanted to stress here in regards to this whole process of re-writing stories is this … no matter what issues my clients presented with – health, relationships, money, etc - without exception, every one of them could be traced back to a message that they had received that they, as a person, were in some way 'unworthy’. I believe this is true for every single one of us. It may be disguised as one of many faces, and it may not be the first layer or even the second layer of beliefs we have to peel away, but it will nearly always be the last big contender that has to be dealt with. And because my experience has shown me this, I SO believe that it is in looking at our own issue of self-worth that the biggest personal strides can be made - because until we believe we are ‘good enough’, great won’t be able to find us.

      My own internal realization of this over the past year is something that has been a huge key for me in my ongoing journey towards where I want to be.

      K

      1. Hey KimbraLee-
        Great stuff. Thanks.
        These steps are very similar, and I have done what you describe also. I'm glad what I posted made sense. I mostly wanted to make the steps simple and accessible to people who wanted to practice something on their own.

        And you're right...forgiveness is one of the biggest keys to all of it!!! Without forgiveness I think I would be one screwed up mess 🙂

        It's funny, as I was posting yesterday I noticed that I still have an inner voice telling me that I need to be perfect or be quiet, and I certainly shouldn't say "too much". It comes right out of the need to avoid getting in trouble when I was a kid. I didn't ever want to deal with my father's interrogations or wrath, and desperately wanted any kind of positive attention.

        How often do I let THAT belief terrify me and stop me in my tracks?

        I guess no matter how much we grow, there is always more work to do be done;)....once we notice it.
        Isn't the human experience amazing?!!

        Jeanne

        1. Jeanne -

          It sounds like you and I have much in common - possibly including a father! (wink, wink) 😉

          And yes, I agree that the work is ongoing, especially if the damage is deep. But the beauty to me is that once we take that first step and we are able to identify those false voices (whether they be from the inside or out)they may still whisper in our ears from time to time trying to convince us we need to play small - but now, instead of blindly obeying them out of fear, we can recognize them for what they are, bless them, dismiss them and get on with the business of building the rich life that we so deeply deserve. 🙂

          ♥ K

    19. Excuse me a moment please, but I am not so sure we are all understanding this. I think the most important belief we can hold about ourselves is that we are loveable and capable. Some children including myself, grew up without getting that message, or maybe getting it partly, or maybe not getting it enough. Reconstructing those beleifs I feel is a process for many. Other beliefs may well be far easier to change.

      If you instantanously change the moment you realize you were laboring under a false belief, it is most likely because of the work you did just to come to realize the belief you held was not correct.

      However, I would say that sure there very well may be individuals who can change quickly and not need as much help as others, it does not invalidate the fact that for most people it takes some time.

      Also, hopefully we are always changing and growing. Sometimes beliefs serve us for awhile and then they don't. If you can always discover that on your own, thats good news, even better if you can quickly change.

      I think many times people have a resistance to change. Change for most of us is scary and uncomfortable, but also necessary. I also think sometimes we are in the process of changing without realizing it. Sometimes change is slow and gradual and sometimes it is fast and furious I guess.

      Anyways, to those who say it is as easy or as difficult as you make it, I say that could be true in some cases. Be careful of absolutes though, because how difficult is going to be if you hold that belief and find something really difficult to change and you can't find the way to make it easy?

      To be honest, I can think of many beliefs that we need to change that can create lots of pain and sadness in us, just in the realization. I hate to be the one to be cloudy, but pain is a necessary part of living.

      Some people had good parenting and maybe didn't have as many challenges as those of us who didn't. Everyone has parts of them that could be made better, shinier I guess. For those of us who struggle with change it's okay, it is brave just to try, lots of folks don't.

      Just like children who are learning, everyone does it at their own pace.

      "I've seen people try to change and I know it isn't easy, nothing worth the time ever really is...But it's not to late for love"-Norah Jones

      1. Annie 🙂

        I agree with you - change can seem to happen in the blink of an eye or it can appear outwardly as an evolving process, but truly we are working on ourselves every day - consciously or unconsciously. And even after we wake up from our illusions, it still takes practice to learn to navigate life with "eyes that see!"

        K

    20. I believe its possible to change your programing, but it takes work and effort to de-program. Sometimes we think you've delt with an area and something pops up and have to address it again. Most importantly I think we have to really watch the messages we send to our kids/grandkids so we stop the progress of dream stealing.

    21. Always entertaining to read the posts - as far as original sin, great line from that Bon Jovi song, they say you're born with sin, well at least I got something I didn't have to steal or win...
      As a far as you're set by age 10, wonder what people think about the Tiger Mom brouhaha...
      And hey Randy, 11 dysfunctional relationships? you're a sharp guy, didn't you start to see a pattern after maybe, oh I don't know, the 5th or 6th???

        1. Seams like I am slow too.Yesterday it happened to me,I do not know which time in a row,that I had a job,really wanted to quit it,instead of stay home use the phone and say I am not coming anymore,I went there,they brought it up and started to be rude to me telling me things they didn´t like about me and it made me angry I started to argue with the one less sympathic and well,I left five minutes after that telling them I also was going to say I quit this job.But then it is sort of too late.If I came in the morning,left the quey on the table and walked away,I would have felt pleasant.No I am in this thoughts,hearing their words and so on and it didn´t become good.And I always let myself loose.WHY???Shall this things happen to me until I clearly do what I should do before anyone embarass me more than hell.???????????

    22. I've been changing my story for years. For me it's an ongoing process as well as a struggle. That's the story I am now working to change. Studying Law of Attraction has been both interestingly helpful as well as frustrating! I know I shouldn't be thinking a certain way but often find myself Futilely stuck in that Thought process.
      I'm beginning to learn that a positive Audio CD from People like Jim Rohn Or John Maxwell can turn me around. I have also been flooding myself in books about goals & success.
      I do see changes being made (slowly) and know at some point the "Compound Effect" will take me where I want to go.
      Great post & I enjoy your blog!

    23. Randy,
      I agreed with you..I need to change my story..I agree with your opinion. I need to change the way the story of my life .. I'm already bored with the same storyline, sacrifice and finally ended with disappointment.
      I need to change so I can become more successful and excellent. The beginning of my life this year started with a blow of my life.
      Although it painful to change the mix of my life I need to change ..
      Not all disappointed, or failures lead to the destruction of life, perhaps it is a stepping stone for us to understand the meaning of life.
      I love to follow your written ..

    24. Randy. I think that if we open our mind we can change a lot of thougths. Before I didn`t belief this but reading, listening, studing great peoples life and openin my mind I can see things different. Now I agree that IF I want I can change my old mind set to a better mind set. I don't know how long will it take, maybe we never finish the travel to be a better person, but I will go!

    25. Great conversation. The one thing it's critical to understand is how the brain actually works. It's sole goal is physical survival. Nueronal pathways are created as frames of reference so that the brain can constantly predict the next moment thereby protecting the physiology. We live by these nueronal pathways. We see with our brains and not with our eyes. The brain interprets through association with what it already has created pathway for. Given that physiology, the trick is to create new nueronal pathways so that the brain can work for you rather than against you. This is done through repetition. So, yes, rewrite the story but then tell it over and over and over and over and over until its imbedded in the physiology!

    26. I began the journey, and it is a journey... to change my story after receiving the DVD "The Secret". My husband and I and another couple watched it for a little while then put it aside as we thought it was a very long infomercial. After a very difficult year that included an affair and uncertainty about where my life was going, my husband and I watched it again. Along with that was a very poor stint with a therapist who didn't buy into the whole "you can change your self with positive thinking" game. With a complete immersion into the Secret, book, cd and dvd, The Success Principals book and CD, and a number of other positive life changing informatives, we slowly but surely began to change our lives. After three years of learning, a realization that I had abandonment issues, and a confrontation with my father regarding my early childhood, we were able to effectively change the way we were programed in our early years. What happens to a person in their childhood most definitely defines who they become as an adult. If it was a tragic or disturbing childhood, only complete awareness,an ah ha moment, and CHOICE can one break the circle and those binds of negativity, self loathing and underling pain to become the person that they were truly meant to be. It is a daily choice and awareness to keep those old notions at bay and to create new, positive thoughts.
      Sorry to go on a rant with this but there is not a whole lot I am more passionate about that changing ones life for the better. My husband and I have been married for 18 years, we have four amazing boys and our marriage is in such a much better place than it ever was before we were blessed with the power of the positive mind.
      Thank you.

    27. I am tomorrow, or some future day, what I establish today. I am today what I established yesterday or some previous day.

    28. After reading your post and all the comments, I am feeling terrifyed to look at my own worthiness issues and the related emotions. Deep down inside i have convinced myself i am not worthy enough. I have been ashamed to admit this.But not now. I want my abundance now. with gratitude amd love to my mentor, Randy Gage

    29. I never leave comments RG, but today i will, i for 10 years stayed in a living with situation with a lass that i should have ended, but because my side of the family had never been a family of divorce, i felt under pressure to keep that up, i did leave and 3 suicide attemps later i met mark hibbitts who changed my life forever,he sent me your links every day and i have become somewhat a diciple to you, i have given up my 16 year additcion to beer, am losing weight and will be signing up to agel with mark at the end of this month, i dont know if you will ever read this, but thankyou because if you hadnt inspired mark he couldnt have inspired me....
      lee eddington 🙂

    30. Change is what life is all about. Each and every day change happens. For humans change appears to be so difficult because it is so easy to stay stuck in yesterday's drama than letting it go to live in the moment(today)in preparation for tomorrow and it's many possibilities.

    Leave a Reply

    Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

    This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

    © 2022 Prosperity Factory, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Legal Information, Sitemap, Site by PrimeConcepts