I was on the phone with a close friend last night. He was asking about a mutual friend we have. “He’s been exposed to you a lot,” he said. “Why do you think he keeps sabotaging himself?”
“You know what?” I replied, “He really hasn’t been that exposed to me. He’s been to three or four of my seminars. So he spends five or six hours with me once a year, then he goes back to thousands of hour’s worth of counter programming. He never had a chance.”
And that’s a shame.
The guy we’re talking about has been working hard to succeed in a variety of different businesses for the last ten years. And I mean he words hard. And means well. And he wouldn’t intentionally hurt a flea.
Yet I’ve seen him crash and burn four times in that time span. The latest meltdown was a few weeks ago. And he is a bright guy. Universally well liked, and he never stole a freight train.
So why does he keep failing?
Two things come to mind, and they’re both relevant to the work we do here. They both are a big part of your mindset, and the kind of changes you have to make in it to move from victim to victor.
The first problem with my friend is that he refuses to live by a universal law of prosperity. That is the concept of trading value for value. Or put another way, the only free cheese is in the mousetrap.
Like a lot of people today, he has an entitlement mindset. He sees that he is struggling and others are not. So he thinks it’s only fair that they should somehow provide for his advancement.
So he is continually aligning in business relationships with people who have more resources than he does. Each of these arrangements is supposed to enrich both parties, but they always end up coming up short. There is always just enough to pay his expenses, but nothing left for the other partners.
Now he doesn’t do this maliciously, or deceptively – or even consciously. He just always comes up a little short and he regales you with his tales of woe. And you look into his big brown eyes and you suggest that you will give up your profit if it will help him out.
Or at least that’s what I did…
The first time. So I naturally thought that being his patron saint the first time around, he would work to ensure that I was taken care of in round two.
That was a $25,000 lesson for me. One that I don’t need to learn any more, thank you very much. But this isn’t about me. The subject was why this individual keeps snatching defeat from the jaws of victory.
And that goes back to another issue we’ve talked abut a lot…
Self sabotage. Now this guy certainly doesn’t see it that way. He sees it as a whole chain of unlucky outside circumstances. He blames the economy, his partners and other external factors. He is certain that he wants to be successful, so the possibility that he could actually be sabotaging his own success doesn’t even occur to him. And if you were to suggest it, he would brush it off without so much as a cursory thought.
Like most people – he evaluates everything about himself based on the evidence of his conscious mind.
And what a foolish mistake that is. Do you really get that? Millions of people self sabotage themselves daily. And most of them are not even aware of it.
Their rational, logical conscious mind tells them that they want to be healthy, happy and prosperous. Let’s face it. Who wouldn’t?
But then why are so many people sick, depressed and broke?
Because on a subconscious level – they don’t believe they are worthy. Their church, temple or synagogue programmed them that they were a worm by the time they were eight years old. Their parents got divorced when they were ten and they thought it was their fault. Perhaps their father worked ten hours a day in a tough manual labor job, and now they feel guilty for earning more money than he did. And don’t get me started again on the media. But you can safely assume that they were completely brainwashed by the media by the time they were ten years old.
They have subconscious programming that:
Now like my friend I described earlier, you may have attended a couple seminars of mine, read some positive books and set goals for positive outcomes.
But do you know how many thousands of hours of counter-programming you are still receiving?
Are you really screening the books you read? Did you eliminate the news outlets? Have you stopped watching 90% of the shows on television? Did you eliminate all radio talk shows from your diet? Do you excuse yourself from the conversation when it turns to gossip, lack, and negativity? Have you replaced former friends and acquaintances in your life that were negative? Do you schedule and restrict the time you spend with negative family members?
If you didn’t answer yes to ALL of these questions, I worry for the tremendous amount of lack programming you are being exposed to on a daily basis.
If you did answer yes to all of the above, what that means is that you are likely getting “only” about fifty exposures to negative programming a day!
So in either case, you still need to be cognizant of your programming, and proactive about exposing yourself to more positive programming.
So how you doing on that?