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Building Character through Facing Challenges

Posted By: Randy GageApril 14, 2009

I was at a ballgame with my friend Lisa Jimenez and we were discussing a mutual acquaintance.  Namely his habit of simply ignoring anything he finds threatening.  She kind of challenged his thinking in an email.  He replied that he needed time to think about it, and would respond later.

Now it’s months later and when he writes, he never brings up the subject.  I guess he just figures that if he never mentions it again, she will just forget about it.  More likely, she’ll just forget about him.

You see this a lot with the herd.  When they face a challenge, they think that maybe if they just ignore it, it will go away by itself.  They are like the little girl who covers her eyes with her hands and says, “Now you can’t see me!”

Total avoidance mentality.  And what a waste.  Because it is in facing and working through challenges, that we build our character and create our breakthroughs.

So how are you doing on that?

-RG

22 comments on “Building Character through Facing Challenges”

  1. Yeah a lot of people do that especially with their money. They just ignore the fact that the bills are piling up. They also do it about their bodies - they just ignore the fact that they are getting fat.

    Me I learnt a long time ago that it's best to confront everything as it happens.

    That way I know where i stand and so does every one else.

  2. I read your book and know your views on religion and agree apart from the fact that I am a Scientologist and part of the training involves "confronting" - sitting in a chair facing onother person and gradiently increasing your ability to confront people. This is an ability you need as an auditor (one who listens - councellor) otherwise the session will not go smoothly at all - with you having too much attention on yourself. All the skills you learn in Scn can also be applied to life, when you are trained auditor you are better able to confront life. To the degree you do not confront life then the more it becomes a problem. Sometimes just having that ability it seems that things just don't come up as problems - almost mystical. Most times problems get bigger and harder to confront the more you ignore them. Sometimes its just a matter of making that call to sort it out but we just don't do it because it's "easier" to do nothing. People withhold themselves to the degree that THEY CONSIDER they have broken their own ethical codes. They are trying to "protect the world from themselves" - when spitting it out is the safest thing to do in the long term. People are basically good and when they see themselves doing bad they withhold themselves or depart, like the unfaithful husband or the dishonest employee - they will often natter and complain - to reduce the size of the "thing" they have harmed so they can live with what they have done. I went off on a bit of a tangent there but I hape that makes sense.

    Colin UK

  3. One time that ignoring can be good however is "Ignoring the negative and Rewarding the positive" - kinda like training your poodle - humans are all to often the same! LOL

    Can you ignore every negative action or attitude? No.

    Should we ignore some negativity and reTRAIN the person through positive reinforcement - sometimes Yes.

    Just another thought from another person looking solutions.
    http://www.thesecondadam.com

  4. oh Dear,You are allways true.I agree with you because oure challenges make the prsonality traits so if we are winner Think our belief will be winning...
    I love your experiences
    Azade From Iran

  5. For me, this is an Integrity issue. I remember some years ago when doing the Training with Werner Erhard, he said, "Integrity is a place you come FROM, not a place you go to". Since this is about keeping agreements with yourself and others and being authentic in Who We Are, avoiding an issue is out of integrity. It's also fear-based and ultimately leads us nowhere. My $.02 worth..

  6. So many people just shove their fears under the carpet. I prefer to face mine head on which has turned out to be a real blessing.

    One of my favourite books even years after it was written is 'feel the fear and do it anyway.' It is such a rewarding way to live.

    Often I wonder how people can just keep pretending things aren't happening and I find it irritating! (another issue lol)

  7. Sounds like the majority of Americans!

    It's the few who learn to face their challenges head-on that will build not only character but a true fulfilling lifestyle!

  8. My personality is that I rather face and confront an issue than burying it and let it stay there for a long time even in the back of my mind. There is no challenge and nothing changes and thus there is no further improvement. When there is a new issue to be dealt with, I rather confront it, or if it is something to do with an individual in particular, I confront with a person honestly about the issue than gossipping about a person. By nature, I hate gossips and don't gossip. Period.

    I believe confronting an issue of any kind would ultimately bring a true good outcome - it would either help build the character or patience. If the issue is related to human relations, then confrontation with honesty would help build good relationships with a strong trust among people in networking business as well. People are not fool. They may not talk about it or may not want to face it honestly but they know what the truth and untruth about themselves and what is missing or what needs to be changed. They simply make a choice of staying in the stagnant place, not willing to let the water flow and give them a chance to move upward.

    Facing the core of the issue and improving it for the better is a healthy way to do the business as well as in relationships. The bi-products of being honest and confrontation are our desires to see the true good values in us in relation to others, and in turn it would produce the heart and attitude to reach out and help others in teamwork which consequently produce a true business success. So, everything is going to be linked to positively moving upward. A challenge and confrontation are positive. Period.

    I believe a true good relationship as a result of a strong trust and honesty are the currency (money value) and the key to a true success in network marketing business in the long run.

    As a newbie yet in MLM, I begin to understand what Robert Kiyosaki meant by saying "Network Marketing is the business school for people who like helping people." Ann Sieg commented that if you want to truly become successful in MLM, you have to have a true genuine love for people. I'm beginning to see both of them are right. - Saachi, Japanese native living in California

  9. I did this when my investments started going down. I thought I would ignore them and they would come back. I'm 76 years young and have lost over one-half of my retirement. Oh my goodness...I'm sick over this...because I didn't act sooner.

  10. Nowadays I head the challenges face on and really like to bite the bullet. It wasn't always like that, I had some very painful years when I ignored really important issues that needed dealing with. It caused me and those closest to me a lot of pain. I am so grateful to have got through that stage. I grew up.

  11. About 10 years ago I could really relate to your's and Lisa's aquaintance. After getting more than a few hard knocks, I finally figured out that ignoring unpleasant things does not make them go away. It is not easy facing things head on, but when taking that course of action, at least your brain starts to work to figure out solutions.

    In the end it's empowering! It's too bad you friend can't see his situation that way. And you're right, it does build character.

    Thanks for your insights.
    Lucinda

  12. One reason the so called "conspiracy" arena is interesting is that in many ways it's actually more about personal development than looking at the “dark side” and/or being "negative" as people tend to think, or have been conditioned to think.

    The Illuminati, Serpent Cult or whatever they are called, sometimes make universal laws sound like it's something they invented, and people fall for it all the time simply because they operate in a smaller box of awareness.

    Things are indirectly imposed on us, for example free will worship through stirred up emotional energy of any kind that can be harvested and used against us, and if we are too stupid to know then we have already accepted them.

    So again, never forget that you are a very powerful being that was unplugged from infinite consciousness and knowledge by a deceptive force. It is time to start looking for the socket and get plugged in again!

    As David Icke wrote today about Susan Boyle on Britain's Got Talent:

    "The audience giggled or looked bewildered. How could anyone looking like this have such a crazy idea? The judges were the same. What a laugh, this is going to be embarrassing.

    My god, how I can relate to all that.

    But what did this 'ordinary woman' do? She blew them away.

    There is NO such thing as a nobody and let no-one tell you different.

    Dream your dream. No, live your dream.”

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY

  13. One reason the so called "conspiracy" arena is interesting is that in many ways it's actually more about personal development than looking at the “dark side” and/or being "negative" as people tend to think, or have been conditioned to think.

    The Illuminati, Serpent Cult or whatever they are called, sometimes make universal laws sound like it's something they invented, and people fall for it all the time simply because they operate in a smaller box of awareness.

    Things are indirectly imposed on us, for example free will worship through stirred up emotional energy of any kind that can be harvested and used against us, and if we are too stupid to know then we have already accepted them.

    So again, never forget that you are a very powerful being that was unplugged from infinite consciousness and knowledge by a deceptive force. It is time to start looking for the socket and get plugged in again!

    As David Icke wrote today about Susan Boyle on Britain's Got Talent:

    "The audience giggled or looked bewildered. How could anyone looking like this have such a crazy idea? The judges were the same. What a laugh, this is going to be embarrassing.

    My god, how I can relate to all that.

    But what did this 'ordinary woman' do? She blew them away.

    There is NO such thing as a nobody and let no-one tell you different.

    Dream your dream. No, live your dream.”

    youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY

  14. one thing isignoring negative factsorfeellinnsandanotheristuput thenergyonthat..I think wemostnotputingenergy in negative thoghts

  15. Jonathan,
    Integrity issue it is. They don't return calls, they ignore messages, owe large sums of money for decades and miss the scheduled meetings. Extremely self centered with no respect for others, just lurking amid the ferns and jumping out when they have the opportunity to feed their ego (or their empty wallet). I used to be the good samaritan trying to "save" all those poor wrecks who mostly looked so shy and lost and acted so nice, nowadays, uncovering their true nature, I leave it to the Universum to settle the bills with them, I don't even spend a minute talking ABOUT them and even less talking TO them. The law of attraction brings other characters in our lives as we grow...
    But don't get me wrong, I just LOVE THEM TOO! They mirrored my faults in the past and I learned a whole big bunch from them.

    Be well, be the star that you are!

  16. Avoidance -- a very tricky issue. Is it a coping mechanism or just an escape route, or are they one in the same?

    I find that putting something off (not that I am a procrastinator of course) just makes the inevitable worse. You mull it over in your mind until that is the only thing you can think of; maybe you lose sleep, it affects your health whether it is acid build up in your gut, getting migraines, overeating -- whatever. Nothing in this life is worth the worry and guilt that goes along with avoiding an inevitable task. And you are right, it builds character facing up or owning the situation. People are more likely to admire you and put their trust in you.

    Granted your friend and the email was not of the inevitable of which I am referring, rather something the man probably blew off and didn't think about again once asked.

  17. I did not confront in the past but things get wrong and even harder! They wanted something to me which is not my dreams. Even the sociality did not see me as important because I just did not confront them.
    And when I confront them I become the player. Even in the dangerous game coz I know this can serve me and make my dreams come true.

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  • 22 comments on “Building Character through Facing Challenges”

    1. Yeah a lot of people do that especially with their money. They just ignore the fact that the bills are piling up. They also do it about their bodies - they just ignore the fact that they are getting fat.

      Me I learnt a long time ago that it's best to confront everything as it happens.

      That way I know where i stand and so does every one else.

    2. I read your book and know your views on religion and agree apart from the fact that I am a Scientologist and part of the training involves "confronting" - sitting in a chair facing onother person and gradiently increasing your ability to confront people. This is an ability you need as an auditor (one who listens - councellor) otherwise the session will not go smoothly at all - with you having too much attention on yourself. All the skills you learn in Scn can also be applied to life, when you are trained auditor you are better able to confront life. To the degree you do not confront life then the more it becomes a problem. Sometimes just having that ability it seems that things just don't come up as problems - almost mystical. Most times problems get bigger and harder to confront the more you ignore them. Sometimes its just a matter of making that call to sort it out but we just don't do it because it's "easier" to do nothing. People withhold themselves to the degree that THEY CONSIDER they have broken their own ethical codes. They are trying to "protect the world from themselves" - when spitting it out is the safest thing to do in the long term. People are basically good and when they see themselves doing bad they withhold themselves or depart, like the unfaithful husband or the dishonest employee - they will often natter and complain - to reduce the size of the "thing" they have harmed so they can live with what they have done. I went off on a bit of a tangent there but I hape that makes sense.

      Colin UK

    3. One time that ignoring can be good however is "Ignoring the negative and Rewarding the positive" - kinda like training your poodle - humans are all to often the same! LOL

      Can you ignore every negative action or attitude? No.

      Should we ignore some negativity and reTRAIN the person through positive reinforcement - sometimes Yes.

      Just another thought from another person looking solutions.
      http://www.thesecondadam.com

    4. oh Dear,You are allways true.I agree with you because oure challenges make the prsonality traits so if we are winner Think our belief will be winning...
      I love your experiences
      Azade From Iran

    5. For me, this is an Integrity issue. I remember some years ago when doing the Training with Werner Erhard, he said, "Integrity is a place you come FROM, not a place you go to". Since this is about keeping agreements with yourself and others and being authentic in Who We Are, avoiding an issue is out of integrity. It's also fear-based and ultimately leads us nowhere. My $.02 worth..

    6. So many people just shove their fears under the carpet. I prefer to face mine head on which has turned out to be a real blessing.

      One of my favourite books even years after it was written is 'feel the fear and do it anyway.' It is such a rewarding way to live.

      Often I wonder how people can just keep pretending things aren't happening and I find it irritating! (another issue lol)

    7. Sounds like the majority of Americans!

      It's the few who learn to face their challenges head-on that will build not only character but a true fulfilling lifestyle!

    8. My personality is that I rather face and confront an issue than burying it and let it stay there for a long time even in the back of my mind. There is no challenge and nothing changes and thus there is no further improvement. When there is a new issue to be dealt with, I rather confront it, or if it is something to do with an individual in particular, I confront with a person honestly about the issue than gossipping about a person. By nature, I hate gossips and don't gossip. Period.

      I believe confronting an issue of any kind would ultimately bring a true good outcome - it would either help build the character or patience. If the issue is related to human relations, then confrontation with honesty would help build good relationships with a strong trust among people in networking business as well. People are not fool. They may not talk about it or may not want to face it honestly but they know what the truth and untruth about themselves and what is missing or what needs to be changed. They simply make a choice of staying in the stagnant place, not willing to let the water flow and give them a chance to move upward.

      Facing the core of the issue and improving it for the better is a healthy way to do the business as well as in relationships. The bi-products of being honest and confrontation are our desires to see the true good values in us in relation to others, and in turn it would produce the heart and attitude to reach out and help others in teamwork which consequently produce a true business success. So, everything is going to be linked to positively moving upward. A challenge and confrontation are positive. Period.

      I believe a true good relationship as a result of a strong trust and honesty are the currency (money value) and the key to a true success in network marketing business in the long run.

      As a newbie yet in MLM, I begin to understand what Robert Kiyosaki meant by saying "Network Marketing is the business school for people who like helping people." Ann Sieg commented that if you want to truly become successful in MLM, you have to have a true genuine love for people. I'm beginning to see both of them are right. - Saachi, Japanese native living in California

    9. I did this when my investments started going down. I thought I would ignore them and they would come back. I'm 76 years young and have lost over one-half of my retirement. Oh my goodness...I'm sick over this...because I didn't act sooner.

    10. Nowadays I head the challenges face on and really like to bite the bullet. It wasn't always like that, I had some very painful years when I ignored really important issues that needed dealing with. It caused me and those closest to me a lot of pain. I am so grateful to have got through that stage. I grew up.

    11. About 10 years ago I could really relate to your's and Lisa's aquaintance. After getting more than a few hard knocks, I finally figured out that ignoring unpleasant things does not make them go away. It is not easy facing things head on, but when taking that course of action, at least your brain starts to work to figure out solutions.

      In the end it's empowering! It's too bad you friend can't see his situation that way. And you're right, it does build character.

      Thanks for your insights.
      Lucinda

    12. One reason the so called "conspiracy" arena is interesting is that in many ways it's actually more about personal development than looking at the “dark side” and/or being "negative" as people tend to think, or have been conditioned to think.

      The Illuminati, Serpent Cult or whatever they are called, sometimes make universal laws sound like it's something they invented, and people fall for it all the time simply because they operate in a smaller box of awareness.

      Things are indirectly imposed on us, for example free will worship through stirred up emotional energy of any kind that can be harvested and used against us, and if we are too stupid to know then we have already accepted them.

      So again, never forget that you are a very powerful being that was unplugged from infinite consciousness and knowledge by a deceptive force. It is time to start looking for the socket and get plugged in again!

      As David Icke wrote today about Susan Boyle on Britain's Got Talent:

      "The audience giggled or looked bewildered. How could anyone looking like this have such a crazy idea? The judges were the same. What a laugh, this is going to be embarrassing.

      My god, how I can relate to all that.

      But what did this 'ordinary woman' do? She blew them away.

      There is NO such thing as a nobody and let no-one tell you different.

      Dream your dream. No, live your dream.”

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY

    13. One reason the so called "conspiracy" arena is interesting is that in many ways it's actually more about personal development than looking at the “dark side” and/or being "negative" as people tend to think, or have been conditioned to think.

      The Illuminati, Serpent Cult or whatever they are called, sometimes make universal laws sound like it's something they invented, and people fall for it all the time simply because they operate in a smaller box of awareness.

      Things are indirectly imposed on us, for example free will worship through stirred up emotional energy of any kind that can be harvested and used against us, and if we are too stupid to know then we have already accepted them.

      So again, never forget that you are a very powerful being that was unplugged from infinite consciousness and knowledge by a deceptive force. It is time to start looking for the socket and get plugged in again!

      As David Icke wrote today about Susan Boyle on Britain's Got Talent:

      "The audience giggled or looked bewildered. How could anyone looking like this have such a crazy idea? The judges were the same. What a laugh, this is going to be embarrassing.

      My god, how I can relate to all that.

      But what did this 'ordinary woman' do? She blew them away.

      There is NO such thing as a nobody and let no-one tell you different.

      Dream your dream. No, live your dream.”

      youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY

    14. one thing isignoring negative factsorfeellinnsandanotheristuput thenergyonthat..I think wemostnotputingenergy in negative thoghts

    15. Jonathan,
      Integrity issue it is. They don't return calls, they ignore messages, owe large sums of money for decades and miss the scheduled meetings. Extremely self centered with no respect for others, just lurking amid the ferns and jumping out when they have the opportunity to feed their ego (or their empty wallet). I used to be the good samaritan trying to "save" all those poor wrecks who mostly looked so shy and lost and acted so nice, nowadays, uncovering their true nature, I leave it to the Universum to settle the bills with them, I don't even spend a minute talking ABOUT them and even less talking TO them. The law of attraction brings other characters in our lives as we grow...
      But don't get me wrong, I just LOVE THEM TOO! They mirrored my faults in the past and I learned a whole big bunch from them.

      Be well, be the star that you are!

    16. Avoidance -- a very tricky issue. Is it a coping mechanism or just an escape route, or are they one in the same?

      I find that putting something off (not that I am a procrastinator of course) just makes the inevitable worse. You mull it over in your mind until that is the only thing you can think of; maybe you lose sleep, it affects your health whether it is acid build up in your gut, getting migraines, overeating -- whatever. Nothing in this life is worth the worry and guilt that goes along with avoiding an inevitable task. And you are right, it builds character facing up or owning the situation. People are more likely to admire you and put their trust in you.

      Granted your friend and the email was not of the inevitable of which I am referring, rather something the man probably blew off and didn't think about again once asked.

    17. I did not confront in the past but things get wrong and even harder! They wanted something to me which is not my dreams. Even the sociality did not see me as important because I just did not confront them.
      And when I confront them I become the player. Even in the dangerous game coz I know this can serve me and make my dreams come true.

    Leave a Reply

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    This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

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