You’ve probably heard a lot of talk about the Google eyeglasses, and computers that can recognize and translate language. But you may not have heard about the amazing device I just created. It’s called...
It’s the world’s first self-sabotage translator. You simply enter in your validation for why you’re not wealthy, healthy or happy – and it translates it into the true meaning! Here are a couple examples for you:
“There was no time to exercise today, because I had an early flight.” SaboLator translation: My health isn’t important to me, so I didn’t get my ass out of bed early enough to do my exercise.
“I could have done that, but I chose to be a stay-at-home parent instead.” SaboLator translation: I didn’t think I was worthy, so I used my kids as an excuse for not even trying.
“We may not be rich, but at least we’re honest.” SaboLator translation: All rich people are cheats and liars, so we take perverse pleasure in being broke.
“I know lots of rich people and most of them aren’t very happy.” SaboLator translation: I hate money and don’t think I deserve it. If I demean the people who have it, I don’t have to make excuses for my own lack of success.
“I’m trying to get ahead, but my bill collectors are harassing me, my bitch ex-wife is dunning me for child support, and I need money for smokes because the tobacco companies got me addicted.” SaboLator translation: I take no responsibility for my actions and blame everything around me.
“Very funny Gage. This is all easy for you to say because you’ve had so many breaks and were fortunate to have opportunities most really poor people don’t have. And if you understood the unique situation I had to go through, you’d know that in my case, I really am the innocent victim of circumstances.” SaboLator translation: Don’t try to wrest my victim-hood away from me. I earned it and I’m going to wallow in it!
The SaboLator is in production now and will be available for orders soon. Should I sign you up for one?