Success & Prosperity Blog

Why You Have Negative People in Your Life

By Randy Gage in Prosperity.

Got a fascinating question on my YouTube channel this morning.  (It’s a new show loaded last night, so check it out if you haven’t already.)   In the show I’m talking about free will.  Someone asked how does that apply to relationships?

More specifically, she suggested that she had a desire for positive people and relationships in her life, but wondered how she sometimes ended up with negative ones.

I think we attract and are attracted to people who are vibrating at the level of consciousness we are at the time.  When I’m in a dark space, I attract toxic people and the interactions they create.  When I’m coming from positivity and love, I attract like people and the kind of relationships they are part of.

Now you may want not to believe this, because this is taking the responsibility off of “them” and putting it on you.  And every time I do a post or video about dealing with negative people, I get deluged with more Amen’s than a Baptist preacher.  Seems everyone wants to unload about their toxic friends, negative spouses, and nasty people they’re surrounded by.

But how does that happen?

All I know is when I have negative people around me, I attracted them.  And when I don’t, I didn’t.

So what about you?  Would you agree that you are the one who creates this, or you think I’m crazy and you are the random victim of a Communist conspiracy?


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51 thoughts on “Why You Have Negative People in Your Life

  1. Brian says:

    Awww crap! I’m responsible for me?
    Surely there’s a super committee that oversees with whom I interact with so it’s their fault not mine!

    I agree with you. We reap that which we sow

    1. That super committee comment just made me laugh out loud. Totally! SOMEBODY needs to be the problem solver around here. A Super Committee sounds like it will fix it all to me, too. 😉

  2. Linda Ryan says:

    Hard to own it sometimes, but YES, I attract ALL the people, (good and bad, rich and poor, happy and grumpy, healthy and sick, positive and negative, smart and stupid, generous and stingy)into my life. Ouch!
    Love the video~Love ALL your videos~Love YOU! 🙂

  3. Emily says:

    Most definitely, it’s a sad truth but hopefully can inspire us to act more positively.

  4. Lene Jytte Hansen says:

    LOL – You are so COOL :))) I KNOW I’m responsible for everything happening in my life. I see it as indicators of what I have to work with next on me.
    Thank’s Randy!

  5. Karim says:

    You don’t attract what you want, you attract who you are.

    1. Sean says:

      Nice Karim!


      1. Agreed – if I want to change what I get I have to change who I am

  6. Olga says:

    No doubt, but the great part about it is that once you’ve learned this truth and take personal responsibility for what shows up, you can also alter your perceptions, habits and behaviors to those that support the lifestyle you prefer.

    I’ve gotten into the habits of questioning what part of me attracted what ever negative person shows up in my life simply because of the insight it gives me into what needs to change within me.

  7. Joy says:

    I absolutely agree…thank you for affirming this! Anytime I would like a change within my life, I may raise my is my choice to wither or to thrive..*I* am accountable for me.

  8. Fred says:

    I have to agree with you Randy. I attract who I am, not who I want. But I love the Third Rule of Life. CHANGE! “Know that nothing stays the same.” The Peaceful Warrior. If I want to attract someone positive, I must change from being negative to being positive. And as Einstein said, “Nothing happens until something moves.” So if I want it to happen, I must move and make it happen. NO VICTIMS ALLOWED. ATTENTION: ALL LEMMINGS THERE IS NO OCEAN HERE. GO FIND SOMEWHERE ELSE TO DROWN!!!

  9. rita says:

    Gotta tell ya, all the rest of my family is programmed negatively and they aim to live on other peoples cost, best case. Someone in my family spreads this idea and its matching thought pattern plus the ideal text to tell – due to the old up-bringing, approx. 80 years ago. Different century, different life, different role models (or none).
    I am not affected, I am not involved in this family dynamic.
    But, due to hearing their bla-bla and way to handle other people, I still sometimes tend to walk up to those people who are similar acting like my family members and it´s hard to recognize this ´cuz it´s my subconscious which leads me there. It´s a mild attraction, yes. I e.g. married a guy who was programmed the same. It was hell!

    Plus, I do believe in the vibrations we send/give off of us, our thoughts and all the electricial attraction among “us”.

    Science knows about it as well, they use for technical devices already

    Thank for posting this interesting topic! Always a pleasure to read . . . enjoy your great day!

  10. Yes, I attract the people in my life. I also get to decide what label I’ll put on ’em.
    I might call them Negative People. You know what happens when i start noticing that, oh curses, I attracted more NP-s. The more I notice ’em, the more of them I attract…oh Curses!
    I have this neighbor…she used to be labelled “NP” (my labels are smallish, so I have to use abbreviations). Then I decided that NP could perhaps mean something else…something that could make me feel better in those times I’m around her.

    hmmm….maybe NP means:

    ‘Nother Perspective: I’ve attracted someone with a ‘nother perspective. I’m the sort of person who is tolerant of other viewpoints.

    Or maybe NP stands for:

    Noisy Pain: I’ve attracted a person who is Noisy in her Pain, poor thing. I am compassionate that way.

    You see – the label I put on someone else is something that defines ME.

    Would I rather be “a magnet for negative people” – or “a Tolertant person” – or “a Compassionate person….?”

    I think it was William James (father of Am. Psychology) who said, “The world is not as it is, but as we are.” I would say that Negative People are not as they are…but as we are.

    Our responsibility is not for Attracting Negative People; our responsibility is for labelling them Negative People.

    Here is the question I like to ask myself, when I’m slithering down into negativity about anything: IS THERE ANOTHER WAY OF LOOKING AT THIS, A WAY THAT WOULD MAKE ME FEEL BETTER? The answer is inevitably, “Yes”.

    Lovingly submitted, Mrs. H&P (Happy & Positive)

    1. Doug Wagner says:

      Great post Randy and awesome response.

      I love the idea of reframing negativity into a positive experience. Besides, since almost everyone goes through cycles of ups and downs, we might run out of people over the long-term if we avoid negativity; animosity or distructive is a different thing.

      Sometimes someone in a negative place just needs someone to genuinely listen to them. After you listen you can be their positive person and help them reframe over time.

      Yes, stop relying on others for how you feel.

    2. wanja says:

      Great response Mrs H&P! Food for thought!

  11. Scott says:

    Awesome point and I totally agree. So to add to this, how is this applied to people you work with that you didn’t hire?

    Just a thought.


    1. Randy Gage says:

      You don’t control everything. But you choose where you work.


  12. John Irvin says:

    Of course, it’s the Law of Attraction and it works whether you know about it or not! If you walk off a cliff and don’t know about gravity, are you just going to float in the air? Uhh… no.
    Now one thing that people may not know is that when you put your attention on people that you DON’T want in your life… you will attract them in your life. What ever you put your attention on… you attract. Even if it’s something you don’t want.

  13. Jenn says:

    I just want to say that you’re NOT crazy! Since I have incorporated the things you say, I have noticed a change in my life, how I feel & think about myself, my “circumstances”–releasing the past so I can be filled with the incredible things the universe has in store for me! I have learned to get up & punch a dent in the universe…so it’s no longer the same “cycle”. Before, I my life was toxic & it was “attractive” to other toxins. I suppose part of it was me taking responsibility for “me” & deciding to make the change. Thanks Randy!

  14. Sean says:

    All I know is that when I changed the way I felt about the universe, the universe changed the way it felt about me! I used to be endlessly toxic and negative (quietly, internally….I was all smiles on the outside), and I attracted people and circumstances perfectly matched to my internal state. It sucked major balls for 40 years! Within the last 3 years, I have taken complete, and 100% responsibility for EVERYTHING that shows up in my life. I spend approx 3 hours every morning in self development work undoing the many years of what I like to call “most unfortunate programming”. The awesomeness in all this is that, one by one, all the negative people and circumstances are disappearing, and in their place are now almost unbelievable beauty. You name it: money, friends, romance, business, creativity, opportunities…it’s all gone crazy good! And it ALL started with an overhaul to my state of mind. We attract not just the negative people, we attract EVERYTHING we have in our lives…the good, the bad, the ugly. Own this, and you truly become a co-creator and head designer of your life.

    Love this blog, and love all you do RG!


  15. Rodrigo says:

    In my case, it’s difficult to be surrounded all the time by billionaires or great masters of any art. That’s why I’m helped by books, audios and videos of great people that cannnot be with me all the time.
    Most of them don’t know me, but I owe my good fortune to them.

  16. Joanna Glade says:

    There is definitely something to the Law Of Attraction. I have seen it in my life. I have seen it in other’s live.

    One of the funniest examples is a friend who told me that she was dating a Preacher and she ended the relationship telling me, “There is NO way I could be a Preacher’s wife.” She wasn’t going to be goody-goody.

    Then she decided that she’s going to get off a particular Social Site because “everybody’s a pervert, and unscrupulous!”

    I had to laugh! I KNEW she was attracting those kinds of people into her life after she decided she didn’t want to be “prim and proper.” She decided to act the other extreme and therefore attracted it to her!

  17. Edward Devero says:

    Sometimes you will meet someone by random chance and later find out they are negative after you get to know them. It’s up to you after this point whether you wish to tolerate them or not. Why and how you attracted them is still an issue for consideration though.

  18. Kurt says:

    I don’t know anything about vibrations and LOA, all I know is the day I realized I am 100% responsible for everything in my life, is the day I realized I can take action to change everything that I don’t like. It’s the same with negative people: you can ignore them, you can avoid them and so on. And if you can’t get rid of them, tell them what bothers you and what you are going to do about it. Somebody wrote somewhere about the Law of Action, now there’s something I believe in!

  19. Marketa says:

    Yes, I know that I create everything in my life… So relationships too.

  20. Mo says:

    Yes,i sort of attraktiv tjej,but i would also SAy:They come near me and i react in àway that makes Them feel at home so They stay…i Always have the chance to make Them go before it os too late..and that takes more effort of me..

  21. Ced B. says:

    While I believe as the bible says..”As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he”…how does that tie in to those bad things that happen to kids? Is that to say that they attracted, negelect, molestors or any of those negative things they may not fully even understand?

  22. Pj Zafra says:

    Very true Randy. Whatever we put out into this world, whether positive or negative, we attract. That’s why we have what we have today. Great thought and thanks for sharing! Keep it up! 🙂

  23. You are spot on Randy. I knew that this was happening with me many years ago and it wasn’t until I took responsibility for the way that I felt that the people that attracted changed.

  24. Jonathan says:


    As you can tell from the sheer number of comments here, there are many opinions and stories.

    Personally, I feel it has to do with how in touch we are with Source, which as we all know, is Love. When we lose sight of the love we have within us, the Fear energy will rise. And in my experience, people that judge, are negative and even evil, rarely if ever love themselves. So we are basically manifesting them due to our own lack of self love.

    Intent + Imagination = Manifestation.

    My two cents.

    Happy Thanksgiving everyone. And make sure to Thank Yourself too! Love is All There Is.

  25. Annie says:

    I really like the addition Jonathan made about loving ourselves.

    I think there is a truth in that, when we love ourselves and give out love we get love back.

    So, maybe people are positive or negative depending on how we see them and how we see ourselves.

    It reminds me of “Catcher in the Rye”, Holden’s opinions and views of others were hostage to his own depression and feelings of self worth.

    Happy Thanks Giving Mr. Randy.

  26. ken says:

    yeah, but what about friends of my friends, family et cetera. I mean i can choose my friends but they have friends also and i can choose a good spouse but she has also family. How do i deal with these negative people ?

  27. Don Carpenter says:

    I had something really weird happen this morning. I did some work for this guy on FB. He made a comment about what happened on X factor last night and i just had a difference of opinion. What came back amazed me. He said that he did not want that on his FB page. I asked him what was it that he was upset about. I was not being negitive. I just gave an opinion. He went and blocked me. WHAT?? HUH?? Some people are so not in control of their lives, but they want to be in control of yours for just giving an opinion. Whats up with that?

  28. Per Lindvall says:

    All energy goes somewhere. Toxic thoughts create a toxic planet. If you don’t know this, then you become the random victim of a Communist conspiracy! LOL!

    However, I am still not my thoughts, on a “higher level”. I think you call it “the thinker of the thought”. Now, even the thinker of the thought, that I would call mind, can be programmed in a certain way. So, ultimately, you are even above the thinker of the thought.

    And from there it goes into the right side of the brain.

    1. Tony Scarcia says:

      We are not even the thinker of the thought. Close your eyes and find the place Eckart Tolle calls Awareness Before Thought. It’s quiet in there isn’t it? 🙂

  29. Daryl says:

    I believe when we know the Law of Attraction We must also know the Law of Repelling. How to repel negativity when it comes up on you. We must understand the Unified Energy field what we all participate in. And through out the day we may come across all kinds o energies and how we respond to it is up to us. I am a comedian and speaker. One day I may perform or speak in front of a “thug” crowd the next and “upscale” crowd. I know how to adjust and still get my message across. I am a mental martial artist. If I attracted a “bully” then he attracted someone to put him his place. Spirituality is not always “soft” some times it’s “hard”. the greatest lover can also be the greatest lover.

  30. Daryl says:

    The greatest lover can also be the greatest warrior.

    1. Randy Gage says:

      Yes important to note that sometimes we attract people for the lessons they provide us, and sometimes for the lessons we provide them, and usually both.


      1. Marketa says:

        This is exactly what I mean..

  31. RJ says:

    Randy, I’ll take this one more step. I’ve noticed that the type of person I’m around can change their behavior based on my outlook. We all have some negative people in our lives that are close to us (family) that we cannot totally avoid seeing. I normally just try to limit my time around them. At the same time though, I have noticed that when I am in a very positive frame of mind, that they actually change their overall outlook and demeanor. Conversely, if I am in a negative frame of mind, and haven’t worked my way out of that, it falls right into other peoples negative outlooks. It all starts with your own mindset.

    1. Randy Gage says:

      Very good point to bring up. The key is understanding you can’t drag people across the finish line if they are trying to drag you back to the other side.


  32. Hi Randy,

    truly a fascinating question. Chances are we attracted those negative people because of our own vibrations we send out to the universe.

    On the other hand, we might need these negative people to teach us something, whatever it is, for example learning forgiveness, to only name one example.

    Thanks for sharing your insights.

    Be blessed


  33. John Kennedy says:

    This is so true.

    When I am feeling at my most negative, I attract the situation and people that make my life even more miserable.

    The best bit about this info is that now I know it, I can decide to act upon it.

    In other words when I’m feeling negative or sorry for myself, that’s the trigger emotion I needed to get myself back on track.

    Now instead of creating more self pity, I take the good from it, (and there is always good in everything) then snap back into alignment.

    As always Randy, you never fail to deliver.

  34. Max says:

    I agree with what Randy says, but my question is how to attract right people into your life? is there any road map for it?

  35. Jacob says:

    Hello Randy,

    What about positive people who keep giving me negative feedback? Especially if they do it in front of others. Should I drop them like a bomb?

    Thanks very much,

  36. David Kalyuzhnov says:

    Mind is your magnet. Magnet has positive and negative side. What side do you us it, that people will be around you.

  37. David Kalyuzhnov says:

    Mind is your magnet. Magnet has positive and negative side. What side do you us it, that people will be around you.


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