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Twas the Night Before Christmas, 2010

Posted By: Randy GageDecember 23, 2010

Longtime subscribers to my Randy’s Rants will remember about six or seven years ago I started doing an annual parody on the holiday classic,  “The Night Before Christmas.”  It was a humorous look at some of the crazy happenings in our world.  

A couple years ago, I moved it to this blog, and sloughed the job off on you…

There have been some amazing submissions ever since.  Some poignant, some clever, and some downright hysterical.  To make it more interesting this year, let’s throw in a real prize:  Whoever comes up with the best poem will win $1,000 credit, good for any of my self-development resources or public seminars.   (So if your name isn’t linked to your website, be sure and use your whole name, in the event you win.)

The winner will be determined by an esteemed panel of judges considered the seminal poets of our time.  Namely  me, myself and I.  The decision of the judges is final, although they have been known to be susceptible to bribes, flattery, and promises of cheap, tawdry sex.

I’ll announce the winner here on the blog on December 26th.  So if you think you’ve got what it takes, hit us with your best shot. Now, let’s get to it.  With profound apologies to the Clement Clarke Moore estate…

The Night Before Christmas, 2010

T’was the night before Christmas, and all through the ‘hood
The masses were nervous, as well be they should.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care;
Hoping for coal, because the fuel tanks were bare.

The people were nestled, all snug in their jammies;

And now dear reader, the rest is up to you…

-RG

P.S.   Here’s wishing you a joyous holiday season filled with good friends, joyful reunions, and stimulating conversations.  However in light of the new FTC regulations on bloggers, these wishes are subject to the following terms and conditions:

This greeting from Randy Gage ("Wishor”), to you (“Recipient”), is extended without obligation, implied or implicit, for best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, politically correct, gender neutral, celebration of the secular winter solstice only.  Any similarities to holidays celebrating the festival of lights, God, or birth of the baby Jesus are purely coincidental.

This greeting may be accepted in the context of the traditions of the religious or secular beliefs of your choice, regardless of sexual orientation, or operating system preference, and is void where prohibited by law.  Acceptance by the recipient does not imply any endorsements or consent by the Wishor.

The good tidings expressed in this greeting are subject to further clarification or withdrawal, are revocable at the sole discretion of the Wishor, and are non transferable.

The Wishor implies no guarantee of actual results.  The extent of the holiday spirit experienced will be determined by the effort recipient puts into it. The claims described are for illustration purposes only. Your results may vary.

This salutation is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, and has not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration.

“Christmas” “God” and “Jesus” are registered trademarks of the Amway Corporation; all rights reserved.

72 comments on “Twas the Night Before Christmas, 2010”

  1. Why are the masses nervous? What 'hood are you refering to? Your poem sounds like a humbug. I shouldn't want to finish a thing such as that, it is too depressing. Your prize isn't all that inspiring either. I saw a "Christmas Carol" last night and thought of you.

    Did you find your book? I analyzed, as a complete courtesy, yesterdays blog into transactional analysis terminology. I am not sure how accurate it is, but it was fun in a wicked kind of way.

    1. Annie,
      You either have an Obsessive compulsive personality or are actually part of Randy Gage`s staff, posting to make the blog interesting. Merry Christmas. I always take postings on Blogs such as this with more than a pinch of salt, but most blogs do contain good points too and the trick is to take the wheat and discard the chaff. Its a free world. If someone wants to post...let them post as long as its not nasty and if many want to read ..let them read.

      1. Yes. I think the obsessive compulsive part is right on the money. The Axis 1 kind, not the personality disordered kind. I eat things off the floor and let my five year old wipes his nose on me. 🙂

  2. T’was the night before Christmas, and all through the ‘hood
    The masses were nervous, as well be they should.
    The stockings were hung by the chimney with care;
    Hoping for coal, because the fuel tanks were bare.
    The people were nestled, all snug in their jammies;
    Some lonely fathers, some single mammies.
    Then the phone rang
    And whilst the children sang
    A caller came with a very strange tale
    I can change your future, no way you can fail
    My name is Santa, I’ve been here a while
    However, to come here, I’ve travelled many a mile
    What I can offer you, my dear, dear friend
    Is an invite to a fantastic event
    There you will be shown a simple concept
    Everyone succeeds, unless you don’t listen, then you’re inept
    “Wait a second, this is not one of those piramides, please”
    No, my dear friend, don’t be scared out of your wits
    It’s not a piramide, as anyone can see
    It looks like one, but it is a Christmas Tree
    You can see me as the the peak on the top of this fir
    And you are one level below me, bear me with me, dear sir
    You show your friend how to improve their health
    Or maybe you show them how to create wealth
    Your customers are the present, hanging from the tree
    After all, what you give them are presents, you see
    Your friends going for wealth are the decorations and of course me
    We’ll all be shining with glee
    And so it goes on, level for level
    That is ofcourse, if you listen carefull and well
    In the end your tree is enormous and so is your income
    So to our presentation, I urge you to come
    To see for yourself how wonderfull life really can be
    And ofcourse, to finally meet me
    You know that it’s true
    Once I meet you
    Santa is real, potbelly and all
    So despite this being a story that seems very tall
    You will see for yourself, (don’t believe me)
    One month of the year Santa promotes his wonderfull tree
    And the rest of the year (this did amaze me)
    It’s true, he lies on his back
    Enjoying a cocktail and living life like it should be:
    Of a rockstar in resting, this time under a palm tree

  3. T’was the night before Christmas, and all through the ‘hood
    The masses were nervous, as well be they should.

    The stockings were hung by the chimney with care;
    Hoping for coal, because the fuel tanks were bare.

    The people were nestled, all snug in their jammies;
    the fathers are drunk and so are the mammies.

    The kids already sleep very nice in their beds,
    with pictures of Playstation and Nitendo in their heads.

    Then also the father dreams and what does he see,
    A new big, HD and 3D flat screen TV.

    The mother is dreaming not fast but little slow
    and wishes her shoe collection to grow.

    And so they are dreaming and smiling all night
    they forget all their troubles, their hearts become light.

    In the morning they see what Santa has brought,
    or should I say what the parents have bought.

  4. It's time to go to Santa 2.0 and God 2.0. It's time to appreciate your wholeness, It's time to devour every moment of the joy of being alive. When you focus on a specific day you loose sight of ALL days, when you focus on a specific thing you lose sight of ALL things, and ALL things is you (past, present, future, yet created or in the process of creation). Appreciate ALL That Is YOU/ME/or what other people liked to call God

  5. T’was the night before Christmas, and all through the ‘hood
    The masses were nervous, as well be they should.
    The stockings were hung by the chimney with care;
    Hoping for coal, because the fuel tanks were bare.

    The people were nestled, all snug in their jammies;
    there filters on high to prevent any spamming,
    mom on the cam, dad on the pc,
    hoping to create the next big easy.

    When out in the yard the Feds were surrounding
    I sprang from my bed my heart was pounding
    I raced to the window and to my surprise
    They were just bringing cookies and warm apple pies.

    "We've seen your videos and read your blogs,
    and we just have to tell you, you live like frogs.
    Jumping and croaking the live long day
    hoping a fly may come your way."

    Recoil your tongue and just let it rip,
    and if you prefer we have french onion dip.
    Now the moral of the story is easy to see
    one very simple for you and for me.

    We love and we live and we laugh as we should
    and spreading our wishes that all may be good.
    Now if you are alone or you doubt what I say,
    look in the mirror and smile right away.

    All is well and all is good,
    in our kingdom of brotherhood.
    May you be near or may you be far,
    traveling with a plane or in a car
    it makes no difference who you are.

    Because Santa is coming this I know,
    Come rain,sleet or hail, and maybe even snow.
    Spread all your love as far as you will
    Abundance for all and may your dreams be fulfilled!

    Merry Christmas to All and thanks Randy for always keeping us on our toes and by the way love the disclaimers!!!

    Hope to See you in 2011!

    Yours truly,

    Rock

  6. Because I could not stop for Death—
    He kindly stopped for me—
    The Carriage held but just Ourselves—
    And Immortality.

    We slowly drove—He knew no haste
    And I had put away
    My labor and my leisure too,
    For His Civility—

    We passed the School, where Children strove
    At Recess—in the Ring—
    We passed the fields of Gazing Grain—
    We passed the Setting Sun—

    Or rather—He passed Us—
    The Dews drew quivering and chill—
    For only Gossamer, my Gown—
    My Tippet—only Tulle—

    We paused before a House that seemed
    A Swelling of the Ground—
    The Roof was scarcely visible—
    The Cornice—in the Ground—

    Since then—'tis Centuries—and yet
    Feels shorter than the Day
    I first surmised the Horses' Heads
    Were toward Eternity—

  7. Twas the night before Christmas and all I wished was that Jesus not be put back in a box until next Thanksgiving. He should be 24/7/365.

    And, to all a good night!

    Love
    Joanna :o)

    PS. Merry Christmas, Randy ***

  8. The Night Before Christmas, 2010

    T’was the night before Christmas, and all through the ‘hood
    The masses were nervous, as well be they should.
    The stockings were hung by the chimney with care;
    Hoping for coal, because the fuel tanks were bare.

    The people were nestled, all snug in their jammies:
    The uncles and aunties and grandpas and grammies
    Were all crammed together, the one room they share
    'Cause the bank had foreclosed and the cupboard was bare.

    "Who will save us?" they cried as they groaned and they moaned.
    "The fault is not mine!" they continued to drone.
    "The gov'ment must save us, or unions, or churches,
    Or our own TSA with their pat downs and searches!"

    "It's Obama! McCain! It's Biden! It's Palin!"
    They had a long list to blame for their failin'.
    They blamed almost everyone else for their mess.
    (But what happened next was anyone's guess....)

    'Cause what to their wondering eyes should appear
    But a handsome young man speaking most loud and clear:
    "You make your own world!" he proclaims and he rants.
    "The answer is YOU, not bailouts or grants."

    "Your own thoughts and memes make your world, don't you see?
    Change the way that you think (your beliefs are the key!)
    And your world will no longer suffer from lack.
    But rather, you'll have your old prosperity back!"

    "Love your friends and your neighbors... and especially you!
    (And if possible, love your enemies too.)
    Your life is a mess because you're a griper.
    Erase those memes and you'll soon have a Viper!"

    And did the herd listen? Not many, that's true.
    But the truth of his statements made sense to a few.
    So while most folks returned to their woes and complaining
    A few changed their lives from losing to gaining.

    And the young man was happy, contented and gay.
    He'd changed a few folks from "no way" to "Yea!"
    And they heard him proclaim, as he spoke loud and clear
    "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good year."

    Wishing everyone a joyous holiday season and a most prosperous New Year!
    jim
    PS -- Randy, I know you were just kidding about being influenced by flattery, so I won't bother mentioning how wonderful, handsome, and wise you are.

      1. Jim! I love it!! You are clearly a winner! You have my vote...sorry it doesn't count. Merry CHRISTmas All.

        Thanks to Randy Gage for helping us end the year with much laughter!! ~Rena

    1. Nice rythym and nice rhyme, Jim, but your message is inconsistent. You speak of loving your friends, neighbors, and even your enemies, but then your message is that those you love need to fix their own mess. That's true, in the long run, but it's nice to know that our government will temporarily help those that need it. You obviously have never needed it. Congratulations. I've never needed government assistance either. But I AM able to look at another's perspective and say, "But for the grace of God, that could be me someday" (or you, Jim).

      Why not, at this time of Christmas, just be thankful for what YOU have and not be so judgemental of others who have not been so fortunate. Why not, also, read "A Christmas Carol" by Charles Dickens, Jim. I think it could do you some good.

      1. "... our government will temporarily help those that need it. You obviously have never needed it. Congratulations. I’ve never needed government assistance either."

        Actually, PB, 2010 has been a rather challenging year and right now I have several people who I love who are dependent on gov't assistance. (But I'm pleased that you've never been in that particular situation. Congratulations!)

        We're certainly not satisfied with where things stand financially right now, but we're grateful for the help that we're receiving. And we're _really_ looking forward to changing things in 2011 so that we no longer need that assistance. In the meantime, we're just trying to keep a sense of humor about things, and not go looking for things to get upset about.
        jim
        PS -- I've read A Christmas Carol. A good book. But I appreciate that you think it will help me. Thanks!

  9. The Night Before Christmas, 2010

    T’was the night before Christmas, and all through the ‘hood
    The masses were nervous, as well be they should.
    The stockings were hung by the chimney with care;
    Hoping for coal, because the fuel tanks were bare.

    The people were nestled, all snug in their jammies;
    Resting up from the year, we'd lived through some whammies.
    I picked up the laptop and sat in my rocker
    Intending to search for a lion door knocker.

    When what to my wondering eyes should appear
    But Santa's bright face shining with tears.
    His voice was quite rough as he murmured my name
    As he continued to weep I felt myself do the same.

    "This holiday season's not about what you get;
    It saddens my heart that you don't get that yet."
    I wanted to tell him that I had learned the lesson
    But knew in my heart so much was still missing.

    So I bowed my head and said a prayer not of fear
    But of hope that I could get it right in the coming New Year.
    To give most joyful from a heart that is free
    Of greed and in spite of all other negativity.

    My attitude I'd change to one for the better
    And concentrate solely on ideals that matter
    As I raised my eyes toward Santa's gaze
    I saw him beaming through my tear stained haze

    "Merry Christmas young lady!" he said with delight
    "I have faith that you will do it right."
    With that he lept into his sleigh
    Calling "Change your heart, change your life" as he clattered away.

  10. I am so not good at these LOL They are very very
    good and i'm glad i'm not a judge.
    Merry Christmas everyone !! I hope you all have
    Health, Happiness and Prosperity.
    Glad I don't live in that hood hehe

  11. The Night Before Christmas, 2010

    'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the 'hood,
    The masses were nervous, as well be they should.
    The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
    Hoping for coal, 'cause the fuel tanks were bare.

    The people were nestled, all snug in their jammies,
    In front of the tube for replays of Miami's
    Most memorable installments of victim-TV
    That kept them all locked in refrains of, “Poor me.”

    When outside our house, there came such a loud crash,
    I jumped up so high that I dumped my whole stash.
    I then ran to the door and opened it wide - -
    It was such a good thing that I wasn't yet fried!

    The powerful glow from the object that landed,
    Gave just enough light - - I'd take it single-handed.
    But, what to my wondering eyes did appear,
    Instead made me want to go chug down my beer.

    As I stood there with bare feet frozen to the floor,
    The driver of the Viper opened the door.
    And out like a flash the cloaked bald man, he came.
    And he whistled and shouted and called us by name.

    Now Stephen! Now Doris! Now, Lois and Timmy!
    On, Justin! On, Conner! On, Heather and Jimmy!
    Come out of this lump life of victim and numbness;
    Of sickness and lack and all sorts of dumbness.

    As though in a movie, the cloaked man came near,
    Straight to the open door, without any fear.
    It happened so quickly as though life was postponed,
    That I thought for a second, I was, in fact, stoned.

    And then in a twinkling, my family was with me,
    Poking and prodding and all straining to see
    What had me entranced and struck with a stupor,
    When normally I'd have been their hero . . . super.

    He was dressed in black tights underneath that red cloak,
    Maybe he was the one who just had a toke.
    And he carried a purse, worth ten freakin' grand,
    That was draped so elegantly over his hand.

    They all saw him with me, the cloaked man in red,
    Proclaiming some freedom and a rich life instead,
    By changing our mindset and starting to think - -
    Not drowning our sorrows with something to drink.

    As he walked toward us in funky slow motion,
    He spoke of prosperity - - what a cool notion.
    The key to it all, he said, is our own self worth,
    From all the unworthiness, it must be unearthed.

    He taught with such power, such strength and such joy,
    He made me feel again like a little boy - -
    Full of wonder and abundance, trust and delight,
    Feelings shut down until I felt them tonight.

    So, in spite of the get-up he had us all glued,
    To all that he said, lest he be misconstrued.
    His words, like a sword, penetrated through flesh,
    What had before been hardened, was now made afresh.

    Now he turned with a start, and he started to leave,
    I guess he could tell that we now all believe.
    And I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight,
    “Prosperity to all and to all a good night!”

  12. The Night Before Christmas, 2010

    T'was the night before Christmas, and all through the 'hood
    The masses were nervous, as well be they should.
    The stockings were hung by the chimney with care;
    Hoping for coal, because the fuel tanks were bare.

    The people were nestled, all snug in their jammies;
    No TV to watch, No hope for the grammys.

    Might as well chill in my own little bed, I heard one said;
    And entertain the dreams that'll dance in my head.

    Far, far away in the land of dreams, was a gal who witness
    a most beautiful scene. Shoppers busy strolling the malls,
    In search of perfect gifts and ornaments to deck the halls.

    The smell of pine, cinnamon, and a host of shining lights;
    Carolers singing "Silent Night".

    She started to feel sad, cause her own life was bad.
    Standing wishing upon a star, appeared an angel to make her glad.
    she thought oh, what a joke! Then, Out from the bag came,
    "Why You're Dumb, Sick and Broke"

    For hours she read, and read, and read; downloading
    much wisdom into her head. Growing, transforming, becoming
    strong, while preparing to face life with a new song.

    In the twinkling of the night, came a demanding voice..
    nothing jumpy, saying don't be like grumpy, lumpy or dumpy.
    Train your consciousness to be like "Gage"..powerful, and
    strong;Then share YOUR brilliance from stage.

    As the Angel turn to fly out of sight, with flapping wings I
    heard her exclaim, Merry Christmas To All and to All a good Life!

  13. several and federal seeen money floods up thee chimney dollars of ballers of greed to many callers
    r turning weak at thee knees filthy went healthy
    what was under thee tree was # 1 HIT FOR ME..

  14. Hi Randy,

    I have looked forward to your Christmas Poem every year for quite some time.

    I love to see the other versions presented in this competition, but I miss your version...

    Once the winner is announced, PLEASE give us a version of your own, just like you did in years gone by.

    Wishing every reader a holiday season filled with love and joy, and the most prosperous year ever for 2011.

  15. The Night Before Christmas, 2010

    T’was the night before Christmas, and all through the ‘hood
    The masses were nervous, as well be they should.
    The stockings were hung by the chimney with care;
    Hoping for coal, because the fuel tanks were bare.

    The people were nestled, all snug in their jammies;
    Well not really jammies, but rather t-shirts and panties.
    Still hoping, waiting and praying that Santa will Deliver;
    Guess we'll have to settle for plastics again, instead of gold and silver.

    Still waiting for my stimulus, or powerball number this year;
    But I doubt it, I'll probably be Dumb, Sick, and Broke just like last year.

    Never am I lucky, or ever catch a break,
    God never blesses me, with lobster or steak;

    Those bad RICH people, with Bells & Whistles,
    I'll just sit here and settle, for my chicken and gristle.

    Someone ask, and I said don't tell,
    Dammit they're shooting outside again, what the hell.
    Nobody worried, about what goes on in the ghetto,
    They'd rather be merry and shop for riches and stilettos.
    Maybe next year, will be better for me than before,
    Or maybe I'll do something different this year, or just wait, wait, and wait again, to see what God has in store.

  16. WOW!!! There are some good ones here, hilarious, like minds, Happy Holidays To All.
    Enjoy another gift giving labeled day, but everyday gift giving in prosperity, enjoy.

  17. In a red coat with red nose, Santa Claus comes in the frost
    with a rabbit on his heels and Maiden on the horns
    If you meet this rabble, then soon the new year.
    Sorry, the Russian language, it sounds better in rhyme

  18. T’was the night before Christmas, and all through the ‘hood
    The masses were nervous, as well be they should.
    The stockings were hung by the chimney with care;
    Hoping for coal, because the fuel tanks were bare.

    The people were nestled, all snug in their jammies,
    With whispers of accolades as nominee for a Grammy.
    Arriving a princess in a chiffon dress and I in my tux,
    Materializing in our minds, making the big bucks.

    There in the near distance, our vessel awaits,
    Excited to see what’s behind the invisible gates.
    Eagerly surrendering, a thought sparks the light,
    Peering through our window, ready to take flight

    In awe of an incredible shift, a vigor, a verve,
    Forever no doubt, all ready to serve.
    A phantom power, a minute miracle maker,
    Inwardly aware, with all the forces for its taker.

    With a little pinch, a shiver, and a giggle,
    I knew in an instant, this must be a riddle.
    Ah-ha they say, as it approaches my way,
    This is the moment, I define the day.

    “Now, Gratitude! Now, Peace! Now Forgiveness and Love!
    On, Queens! On Kings! On, Angels and Doves!
    Now off to the moon, grab your stars in the sky!
    Unleash your desire, with a sparkle in your eye!”

    In due course, with floods and drought, hail and thunder,
    With Spirit in mind’s eye, there’s no need to wonder.
    Treasures unveiled thus persistence prevails,
    With all the glorious prosperity on your trail.

    And then it was, as it is, already here, already there;
    The breath of a dream, is the belief of a prayer.
    A once then prayer, now an illuminated passion,
    With plans to conquer all odds with compassion.

    The passion filled dream was full of gleam,
    Time to bring out the vision board theme.
    Bearing serenity, abundance, and grace,
    It’s a wonder there’s no chase to this place.

    It evokes calmness, clarity, and endless bliss;
    Eyes full of diamonds, the allure not to miss!
    The glow is aweless, yet gallantly still,
    In such a presence, it sure is a thrill!

    The stature of this being is pure to cherish,
    May we all remember it never does perish.
    Its graciousness is sacred and adored,
    So we all sing on its behalf the melodic chord.

    For it is grand, protective, and humble,
    But doesn’t mind if we stumbled or make a fumble.
    With a spark in the eye and slight bow of the head,
    Gesturing the way; the way in which it led.

    It is careful what it preaches, honoring its words,
    Offering the forefront for the other future herds.
    And as it leads with the heart, and the head held high,
    Our vision will service us, we are certain to try.

    In that instant, we are off on another mission,
    Trail blazing the way at our own admission.
    We hear it, we feel it, we love it, we need it,
    "Happy Christmas to all, with an almighty spin."

  19. Alone slept two boys 'cause Mama couldn't afford pricey nannies,
    When outside the project gates there arose such a clatter,
    Oh no, a drive by shooting below, and the windows all shatter,

    Scared and cold the boys run in a flash,
    To their uncle george all doped up on hash,
    Moonlight falls on a potholed street covered in snow,
    Giving an appearance of peace the residence here hardly know,

    And what form to these boys should appear?
    Mama tired from work but full of good cheer,
    A hug she gave them and kissed them quick,
    "Mama, where's Santa?" whispered four year old Nick,

    "Oh honey, I don't know, but he'll be comin' along",
    "Now hurry back to bed and I'll sing you a song.",
    "Dear God, if you hear me. Tonight I pray for my boys."
    "I work all the day long and still couldn't afford many toys."

    "But, I thank you God everyday for my many blessings and gifts."
    "Blessings of courage, and hope without which, I would never make it through all those night shifts."

    Some people at Christmas think "taxes, humbug. Why should we pay?",
    For children and people who might be hungry each day,
    "Are there no good prisons, safe schools, and roomy homeless shelters around?",
    No, no children are homeless, hungry and sick. Poverty abounds.,

    "Beware ignorance and want." A Charles Dickens' character once said,
    So tonight, while your home all safe in your beds,
    Remember the ones most of us like to forget,
    They are not leeches and wretches, they are you, and their me, I truly regret,

    So, let's not forget as Christmas slips away,
    The one's who might need us when all hope is sway,

    Merry Christmas to all, may we love one another,
    Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas my sisters and brothers.

    1. Powerful, poignant, and thought-provoking. By far the best so far (in my opinion) because it illustrates the true message (or at least what SHOULD be the true message) of Christmas! Well done!!!

  20. The Night Before Christmas, 2010

    T’was the night before Christmas, and all through the ‘hood
    The masses were nervous, as well be they should.
    The stockings were hung by the chimney with care;
    Hoping for coal, because the fuel tanks were bare.

    The people were nestled, all snug in their jammies;
    But fear had taken root from Seattle to Miami.
    When the nation awoke, in their stocklings they would find,
    A little green book titled Propserity Mind.
    When they opened it up what leapt from the page,
    Were life changing words from a man named Gage.

    Could this really be what
    Santa had brought,
    Could the world be transformed by the
    power of thought,
    Is this the information they all
    should have sought,
    And would their minds be open
    to what was about to be taught?

    They absorbed every word and through the pages they flipped,
    Quickly realizing where they all had slipped.
    Chapter by chapter it all became clear,
    Their mind was the captor and held them hostage in fear.

    But no need to panic,
    And no need to cry,
    To your limiting beliefs,
    Say your final goodbye,
    The next revelation filled the people with glee,
    "Your thoughts locked you up but that means YOU still hold the key".

    All at once their minds
    unfurled,
    And the door opened up
    to a whole new world,
    No more limitation,
    And no more lack,
    Your mind is a castle,
    Not some rickety shack.

    They peeped out the window
    to a whole new reality,
    They were now the proud owners,
    of the Midas Mentality.

    The ole' dirty roads were now
    golden brick streets,
    And the cheap motels transformed
    to luxury suites,
    Buisness, pleasure and tropical retreats,
    By train or by plane it was 1st class seats.

    Designer clothes in the closets,
    and buckles of brass,
    And everyone's car,
    has a full tank of gas.

    How did this happen,
    well just take a look,
    In each persons hand,
    Is the little green book.

    Merry Christmas to ALL and to ALL a great night 🙂

    1. Wish it had not been called a green book. Makes me think of the red book. Course, as time goes by, more people won't know what the red book was. I'll give you a hint. Chairman Mao

  21. T’was the night before Christmas, and all through the ‘hood
    The masses were nervous, as well be they should.

    The stockings were hung by the chimney with care;
    Hoping for coal, because the fuel tanks were bare.

    The people were nestled, all snug in their jammies,
    Not the dream they hoped for, but common and cosy.

    Some thought quite deeply- is it always be this way?
    Is this the whole reality or my deceptive experience?

    Are those my eyes seeing, or doubt poisoned mind?
    I want to become wise and make my deeds great.

    But is that even possible for one to achieve?
    Straight from the heart Christmas voice answers:

    Move from frustration to wisdom ilumination,
    Live in inspiration come from aspiration.

    Cheerfully, sleeplessly, unconditionally
    Be who you would be! BE WHO YOU WOULD BE!

    _________________________________________
    Merry Christmas Randy and everybody else,
    please forgive my grammar, as my native language is not english :))

  22. T’was the night before Christmas, and all through the ‘hood
    The masses were nervous, as well be they should.
    The stockings were hung by the chimney with care;
    Hoping for coal, because the fuel tanks were bare.

    The people were nestled, all snug in their jammies;
    But afraid of the dark like young mamby pambys
    They shivered and whispered and thunk thoughts of doom.
    The rot in their minds filled their sad hearts with gloom.

    Surrounded by media worse than a bad joke
    It’s no wonder these souls were dumb, sick and broke.
    What they needed the most was an illustrious sage
    But alas--they had not heard of the great Randy Gage.

    Desperate they were, in this terrible hour,
    They took a bold move, to save on their power.
    They picked up the clicker with a last worried look;
    They turned off the TV…and opened a book.

    Suddenly a jolt from the one true reality
    Awakened them to their entitlement mentality.
    They looked at each other in unison and screamed
    “It is WE who gave up on our own precious dreams.”

    “It wasn’t my sickness or broken down van,
    It isn’t the Taxes or even the MAN
    Not my mother or father or misfortunes galore
    I surrender that falsehood-I’ll be victim no more.”

    That TV-less moment helped their minds stop its chatter
    And they stumbled upon the truth that most matters;
    “The genius within, is for us to behold;
    Once we let go of not being bold.

    We are all divine; we all have a chance.
    Every moment of life is a magical dance
    Designed to awaken the best we can be
    Always available to those who will see!”
    ..................
    Happy Holidays and blessings for the New Year,
    Jeanne and Will Kidd
    PS. We are negotiable on the tawdry sex option if it wins us points.

      1. "We are negotiable on the tawdry sex option if it wins us points." Bwah! ROFLMAO!!~

        Nice poem, Jeanne and Will!

        This is my first experience with the yearly non-sectarian Gage poem, and I'm IN next time!! [Didn't see it posted until today when I got to work checked my email {Note to self: subscribe from your Evo and get the blog there!}]

        Thanks for this Randy!

  23. Way fun, as usual! ... 🙂

    T’was the night before Christmas, and all through the ‘hood
    The masses were nervous, as well be they should.
    The stockings were hung by the chimney with care;
    Hoping for coal, because the fuel tanks were bare.

    The people were nestled, all snug in their jammies;
    While the Prosperity King lounged in toasty Miami.
    But then, just like Batman who gets urgent Bat calls;
    A great plea for help he could hear through the walls.

    So away he did travel to gather his flock;
    And he worried not once about the hour on his clock.
    On their front lawns he posted and demanded attention;
    And beckoned them all to a ‘prosperity convention.’

    He winked and he motioned, as if only to say;
    I’ve got more yet to teach you, so come on, this way.
    You thought that you ‘got it’ when we spoke here last year;
    But something was missing, and it needs to be clear.

    Then away to Miami, they all knew they must follow;
    Their excitement was great, though their courage was hollow
    He jumped in his Viper and they boarded a plane;
    But he got there before them, for he knew this domain.

    He took them, by moonlight, to a nice balmy beach;
    As, for maximum impact, ‘twas a great place to teach.
    He watched as they listened; every word they did trace;
    Then with long arms outstretched, he presented the place …

    “You have studied the laws, and you wished for all this;
    So why do you think you still don’t have your bliss?”
    “You have listened to every last word that I’ve said;
    But there’s still one small hurdle and it’s … inside your head”

    “Tonight – what if I offered one wish, large or small;
    To be granted completely, no questions at all?
    If the only requirement of you was to ask. …
    But to KNOW you were WORTHY – too daunting a task?

    They looked at him in wonder, and then looked away;
    Freedom lay in the truth of the words he did say…
    “I suspected you couldn’t, so, how ‘bout we guess -
    Are you afraid I’ll say ‘no’, or afraid I’ll say … ‘YES’?”

    “See … don’t believe that you’re worthy? Then, you can’t win the game;
    And all your attempts will just turn out the same.
    Think it’s failing you fear? Nope! Let’s try on this switch;
    What if the truth is … you’re afraid to be RICH?”

    “You have to believe … not just wish that you are -
    A magician, a millionaire, a master, a star.
    When you stop feeling ‘less than’ and act upon your desire
    Just watch how the Universe starts to conspire.”

    “So take what I’ve told you and go share with many;
    If you get tempted by doubts, don’t you give in to any!
    And next year at Christmas, I’m expecting from you
    To be living the same kind of freedom I do.”

    “Now I’m off to the opera, the ball field, the stage;
    I’ve got so much to do … because I’m Randy Gage!
    Remember you were born just as gifted as I;
    And it’s your job to be ‘You’ with a capital ‘Y’!”

    Holiday Love to All and Wishes for Bright Blessings in the New Year!

    K

  24. T’was the night before Christmas, and all through the ‘hood
    The masses were nervous, as well be they should.
    The stockings were hung by the chimney with care;
    Hoping for coal, because the fuel tanks were bare.

    The people were nestled, all snug in their jammies;

    Stop right here - if you're expecting grammies or mammies........

    Ever heard of pattern interruption?
    Good - cos the lack of such leads to lifestyle corruption.

    You think it's Ok that they're hoping for coal
    For Christmas? An utterly pathetic goal.

    Instead of asking for gold, frankense or myrr
    A Viper a Bentley, diamonds or fur!

    They obviously don't know the Prosperity Messiah
    Or the promises in the 29th chapter of Jeremiah.

    Their ignorance and reality is of their making
    When life in abundance is theirs for the taking.

    What a terrible way to think
    Hoping for coal - where others think mink.

    But many choose to close their eyes
    And swallow all of soceities lies

    Why are they nervous, and full of fear?
    When cheer is here 365 days a year

    Abundance is everywhere if you look for it
    Health, wealth, happiness and wit

    Just surf the net - just tell a joke
    Or simply read "Why You're Sick Dumb and Broke."

    Or wallow in your misery -" I'm so badly paid"
    For it's in moments of decision that your destiny is made

    While many lament the woes of the recession
    They then wonder why they are suffering from depression.

    While others swim in the ocean of abundance
    Be they in Africa, India, Asia or France

    Coal for Christmas? - give me a break!
    Why eat bread when you can eat cake?

    What will it take for this community
    To understand the overwhelming opportunity

    This world offers to those who truly believe
    And know their tapestry only they can weave

    I am so grateful that my attitude
    Is always one of gratitude

    That I no longer live by the seat of my pants
    And that I stumbled upon Randys rants.

    And as I count my blessings each and every day
    For all those less fortunate I do pray

    That every man, woman, child, and dog
    Has the good fortune to stumble upon Randy's blog.

  25. "Stop right here – if you’re expecting grammies or mammies……..
    Ever heard of pattern interruption?
    Good – cos the lack of such leads to lifestyle corruption."

    That is inspired, Hilary! I like the way your mind works.
    jim

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  • 72 comments on “Twas the Night Before Christmas, 2010”

    1. Why are the masses nervous? What 'hood are you refering to? Your poem sounds like a humbug. I shouldn't want to finish a thing such as that, it is too depressing. Your prize isn't all that inspiring either. I saw a "Christmas Carol" last night and thought of you.

      Did you find your book? I analyzed, as a complete courtesy, yesterdays blog into transactional analysis terminology. I am not sure how accurate it is, but it was fun in a wicked kind of way.

      1. Annie,
        You either have an Obsessive compulsive personality or are actually part of Randy Gage`s staff, posting to make the blog interesting. Merry Christmas. I always take postings on Blogs such as this with more than a pinch of salt, but most blogs do contain good points too and the trick is to take the wheat and discard the chaff. Its a free world. If someone wants to post...let them post as long as its not nasty and if many want to read ..let them read.

        1. Yes. I think the obsessive compulsive part is right on the money. The Axis 1 kind, not the personality disordered kind. I eat things off the floor and let my five year old wipes his nose on me. 🙂

    2. T’was the night before Christmas, and all through the ‘hood
      The masses were nervous, as well be they should.
      The stockings were hung by the chimney with care;
      Hoping for coal, because the fuel tanks were bare.
      The people were nestled, all snug in their jammies;
      Some lonely fathers, some single mammies.
      Then the phone rang
      And whilst the children sang
      A caller came with a very strange tale
      I can change your future, no way you can fail
      My name is Santa, I’ve been here a while
      However, to come here, I’ve travelled many a mile
      What I can offer you, my dear, dear friend
      Is an invite to a fantastic event
      There you will be shown a simple concept
      Everyone succeeds, unless you don’t listen, then you’re inept
      “Wait a second, this is not one of those piramides, please”
      No, my dear friend, don’t be scared out of your wits
      It’s not a piramide, as anyone can see
      It looks like one, but it is a Christmas Tree
      You can see me as the the peak on the top of this fir
      And you are one level below me, bear me with me, dear sir
      You show your friend how to improve their health
      Or maybe you show them how to create wealth
      Your customers are the present, hanging from the tree
      After all, what you give them are presents, you see
      Your friends going for wealth are the decorations and of course me
      We’ll all be shining with glee
      And so it goes on, level for level
      That is ofcourse, if you listen carefull and well
      In the end your tree is enormous and so is your income
      So to our presentation, I urge you to come
      To see for yourself how wonderfull life really can be
      And ofcourse, to finally meet me
      You know that it’s true
      Once I meet you
      Santa is real, potbelly and all
      So despite this being a story that seems very tall
      You will see for yourself, (don’t believe me)
      One month of the year Santa promotes his wonderfull tree
      And the rest of the year (this did amaze me)
      It’s true, he lies on his back
      Enjoying a cocktail and living life like it should be:
      Of a rockstar in resting, this time under a palm tree

    3. T’was the night before Christmas, and all through the ‘hood
      The masses were nervous, as well be they should.

      The stockings were hung by the chimney with care;
      Hoping for coal, because the fuel tanks were bare.

      The people were nestled, all snug in their jammies;
      the fathers are drunk and so are the mammies.

      The kids already sleep very nice in their beds,
      with pictures of Playstation and Nitendo in their heads.

      Then also the father dreams and what does he see,
      A new big, HD and 3D flat screen TV.

      The mother is dreaming not fast but little slow
      and wishes her shoe collection to grow.

      And so they are dreaming and smiling all night
      they forget all their troubles, their hearts become light.

      In the morning they see what Santa has brought,
      or should I say what the parents have bought.

    4. It's time to go to Santa 2.0 and God 2.0. It's time to appreciate your wholeness, It's time to devour every moment of the joy of being alive. When you focus on a specific day you loose sight of ALL days, when you focus on a specific thing you lose sight of ALL things, and ALL things is you (past, present, future, yet created or in the process of creation). Appreciate ALL That Is YOU/ME/or what other people liked to call God

    5. T’was the night before Christmas, and all through the ‘hood
      The masses were nervous, as well be they should.
      The stockings were hung by the chimney with care;
      Hoping for coal, because the fuel tanks were bare.

      The people were nestled, all snug in their jammies;
      there filters on high to prevent any spamming,
      mom on the cam, dad on the pc,
      hoping to create the next big easy.

      When out in the yard the Feds were surrounding
      I sprang from my bed my heart was pounding
      I raced to the window and to my surprise
      They were just bringing cookies and warm apple pies.

      "We've seen your videos and read your blogs,
      and we just have to tell you, you live like frogs.
      Jumping and croaking the live long day
      hoping a fly may come your way."

      Recoil your tongue and just let it rip,
      and if you prefer we have french onion dip.
      Now the moral of the story is easy to see
      one very simple for you and for me.

      We love and we live and we laugh as we should
      and spreading our wishes that all may be good.
      Now if you are alone or you doubt what I say,
      look in the mirror and smile right away.

      All is well and all is good,
      in our kingdom of brotherhood.
      May you be near or may you be far,
      traveling with a plane or in a car
      it makes no difference who you are.

      Because Santa is coming this I know,
      Come rain,sleet or hail, and maybe even snow.
      Spread all your love as far as you will
      Abundance for all and may your dreams be fulfilled!

      Merry Christmas to All and thanks Randy for always keeping us on our toes and by the way love the disclaimers!!!

      Hope to See you in 2011!

      Yours truly,

      Rock

    6. Because I could not stop for Death—
      He kindly stopped for me—
      The Carriage held but just Ourselves—
      And Immortality.

      We slowly drove—He knew no haste
      And I had put away
      My labor and my leisure too,
      For His Civility—

      We passed the School, where Children strove
      At Recess—in the Ring—
      We passed the fields of Gazing Grain—
      We passed the Setting Sun—

      Or rather—He passed Us—
      The Dews drew quivering and chill—
      For only Gossamer, my Gown—
      My Tippet—only Tulle—

      We paused before a House that seemed
      A Swelling of the Ground—
      The Roof was scarcely visible—
      The Cornice—in the Ground—

      Since then—'tis Centuries—and yet
      Feels shorter than the Day
      I first surmised the Horses' Heads
      Were toward Eternity—

    7. Twas the night before Christmas and all I wished was that Jesus not be put back in a box until next Thanksgiving. He should be 24/7/365.

      And, to all a good night!

      Love
      Joanna :o)

      PS. Merry Christmas, Randy ***

    8. The Night Before Christmas, 2010

      T’was the night before Christmas, and all through the ‘hood
      The masses were nervous, as well be they should.
      The stockings were hung by the chimney with care;
      Hoping for coal, because the fuel tanks were bare.

      The people were nestled, all snug in their jammies:
      The uncles and aunties and grandpas and grammies
      Were all crammed together, the one room they share
      'Cause the bank had foreclosed and the cupboard was bare.

      "Who will save us?" they cried as they groaned and they moaned.
      "The fault is not mine!" they continued to drone.
      "The gov'ment must save us, or unions, or churches,
      Or our own TSA with their pat downs and searches!"

      "It's Obama! McCain! It's Biden! It's Palin!"
      They had a long list to blame for their failin'.
      They blamed almost everyone else for their mess.
      (But what happened next was anyone's guess....)

      'Cause what to their wondering eyes should appear
      But a handsome young man speaking most loud and clear:
      "You make your own world!" he proclaims and he rants.
      "The answer is YOU, not bailouts or grants."

      "Your own thoughts and memes make your world, don't you see?
      Change the way that you think (your beliefs are the key!)
      And your world will no longer suffer from lack.
      But rather, you'll have your old prosperity back!"

      "Love your friends and your neighbors... and especially you!
      (And if possible, love your enemies too.)
      Your life is a mess because you're a griper.
      Erase those memes and you'll soon have a Viper!"

      And did the herd listen? Not many, that's true.
      But the truth of his statements made sense to a few.
      So while most folks returned to their woes and complaining
      A few changed their lives from losing to gaining.

      And the young man was happy, contented and gay.
      He'd changed a few folks from "no way" to "Yea!"
      And they heard him proclaim, as he spoke loud and clear
      "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good year."

      Wishing everyone a joyous holiday season and a most prosperous New Year!
      jim
      PS -- Randy, I know you were just kidding about being influenced by flattery, so I won't bother mentioning how wonderful, handsome, and wise you are.

        1. Jim! I love it!! You are clearly a winner! You have my vote...sorry it doesn't count. Merry CHRISTmas All.

          Thanks to Randy Gage for helping us end the year with much laughter!! ~Rena

      1. Nice rythym and nice rhyme, Jim, but your message is inconsistent. You speak of loving your friends, neighbors, and even your enemies, but then your message is that those you love need to fix their own mess. That's true, in the long run, but it's nice to know that our government will temporarily help those that need it. You obviously have never needed it. Congratulations. I've never needed government assistance either. But I AM able to look at another's perspective and say, "But for the grace of God, that could be me someday" (or you, Jim).

        Why not, at this time of Christmas, just be thankful for what YOU have and not be so judgemental of others who have not been so fortunate. Why not, also, read "A Christmas Carol" by Charles Dickens, Jim. I think it could do you some good.

        1. "... our government will temporarily help those that need it. You obviously have never needed it. Congratulations. I’ve never needed government assistance either."

          Actually, PB, 2010 has been a rather challenging year and right now I have several people who I love who are dependent on gov't assistance. (But I'm pleased that you've never been in that particular situation. Congratulations!)

          We're certainly not satisfied with where things stand financially right now, but we're grateful for the help that we're receiving. And we're _really_ looking forward to changing things in 2011 so that we no longer need that assistance. In the meantime, we're just trying to keep a sense of humor about things, and not go looking for things to get upset about.
          jim
          PS -- I've read A Christmas Carol. A good book. But I appreciate that you think it will help me. Thanks!

    9. The Night Before Christmas, 2010

      T’was the night before Christmas, and all through the ‘hood
      The masses were nervous, as well be they should.
      The stockings were hung by the chimney with care;
      Hoping for coal, because the fuel tanks were bare.

      The people were nestled, all snug in their jammies;
      Resting up from the year, we'd lived through some whammies.
      I picked up the laptop and sat in my rocker
      Intending to search for a lion door knocker.

      When what to my wondering eyes should appear
      But Santa's bright face shining with tears.
      His voice was quite rough as he murmured my name
      As he continued to weep I felt myself do the same.

      "This holiday season's not about what you get;
      It saddens my heart that you don't get that yet."
      I wanted to tell him that I had learned the lesson
      But knew in my heart so much was still missing.

      So I bowed my head and said a prayer not of fear
      But of hope that I could get it right in the coming New Year.
      To give most joyful from a heart that is free
      Of greed and in spite of all other negativity.

      My attitude I'd change to one for the better
      And concentrate solely on ideals that matter
      As I raised my eyes toward Santa's gaze
      I saw him beaming through my tear stained haze

      "Merry Christmas young lady!" he said with delight
      "I have faith that you will do it right."
      With that he lept into his sleigh
      Calling "Change your heart, change your life" as he clattered away.

    10. I am so not good at these LOL They are very very
      good and i'm glad i'm not a judge.
      Merry Christmas everyone !! I hope you all have
      Health, Happiness and Prosperity.
      Glad I don't live in that hood hehe

    11. The Night Before Christmas, 2010

      'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the 'hood,
      The masses were nervous, as well be they should.
      The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
      Hoping for coal, 'cause the fuel tanks were bare.

      The people were nestled, all snug in their jammies,
      In front of the tube for replays of Miami's
      Most memorable installments of victim-TV
      That kept them all locked in refrains of, “Poor me.”

      When outside our house, there came such a loud crash,
      I jumped up so high that I dumped my whole stash.
      I then ran to the door and opened it wide - -
      It was such a good thing that I wasn't yet fried!

      The powerful glow from the object that landed,
      Gave just enough light - - I'd take it single-handed.
      But, what to my wondering eyes did appear,
      Instead made me want to go chug down my beer.

      As I stood there with bare feet frozen to the floor,
      The driver of the Viper opened the door.
      And out like a flash the cloaked bald man, he came.
      And he whistled and shouted and called us by name.

      Now Stephen! Now Doris! Now, Lois and Timmy!
      On, Justin! On, Conner! On, Heather and Jimmy!
      Come out of this lump life of victim and numbness;
      Of sickness and lack and all sorts of dumbness.

      As though in a movie, the cloaked man came near,
      Straight to the open door, without any fear.
      It happened so quickly as though life was postponed,
      That I thought for a second, I was, in fact, stoned.

      And then in a twinkling, my family was with me,
      Poking and prodding and all straining to see
      What had me entranced and struck with a stupor,
      When normally I'd have been their hero . . . super.

      He was dressed in black tights underneath that red cloak,
      Maybe he was the one who just had a toke.
      And he carried a purse, worth ten freakin' grand,
      That was draped so elegantly over his hand.

      They all saw him with me, the cloaked man in red,
      Proclaiming some freedom and a rich life instead,
      By changing our mindset and starting to think - -
      Not drowning our sorrows with something to drink.

      As he walked toward us in funky slow motion,
      He spoke of prosperity - - what a cool notion.
      The key to it all, he said, is our own self worth,
      From all the unworthiness, it must be unearthed.

      He taught with such power, such strength and such joy,
      He made me feel again like a little boy - -
      Full of wonder and abundance, trust and delight,
      Feelings shut down until I felt them tonight.

      So, in spite of the get-up he had us all glued,
      To all that he said, lest he be misconstrued.
      His words, like a sword, penetrated through flesh,
      What had before been hardened, was now made afresh.

      Now he turned with a start, and he started to leave,
      I guess he could tell that we now all believe.
      And I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight,
      “Prosperity to all and to all a good night!”

    12. The Night Before Christmas, 2010

      T'was the night before Christmas, and all through the 'hood
      The masses were nervous, as well be they should.
      The stockings were hung by the chimney with care;
      Hoping for coal, because the fuel tanks were bare.

      The people were nestled, all snug in their jammies;
      No TV to watch, No hope for the grammys.

      Might as well chill in my own little bed, I heard one said;
      And entertain the dreams that'll dance in my head.

      Far, far away in the land of dreams, was a gal who witness
      a most beautiful scene. Shoppers busy strolling the malls,
      In search of perfect gifts and ornaments to deck the halls.

      The smell of pine, cinnamon, and a host of shining lights;
      Carolers singing "Silent Night".

      She started to feel sad, cause her own life was bad.
      Standing wishing upon a star, appeared an angel to make her glad.
      she thought oh, what a joke! Then, Out from the bag came,
      "Why You're Dumb, Sick and Broke"

      For hours she read, and read, and read; downloading
      much wisdom into her head. Growing, transforming, becoming
      strong, while preparing to face life with a new song.

      In the twinkling of the night, came a demanding voice..
      nothing jumpy, saying don't be like grumpy, lumpy or dumpy.
      Train your consciousness to be like "Gage"..powerful, and
      strong;Then share YOUR brilliance from stage.

      As the Angel turn to fly out of sight, with flapping wings I
      heard her exclaim, Merry Christmas To All and to All a good Life!

    13. several and federal seeen money floods up thee chimney dollars of ballers of greed to many callers
      r turning weak at thee knees filthy went healthy
      what was under thee tree was # 1 HIT FOR ME..

    14. Hi Randy,

      I have looked forward to your Christmas Poem every year for quite some time.

      I love to see the other versions presented in this competition, but I miss your version...

      Once the winner is announced, PLEASE give us a version of your own, just like you did in years gone by.

      Wishing every reader a holiday season filled with love and joy, and the most prosperous year ever for 2011.

    15. The Night Before Christmas, 2010

      T’was the night before Christmas, and all through the ‘hood
      The masses were nervous, as well be they should.
      The stockings were hung by the chimney with care;
      Hoping for coal, because the fuel tanks were bare.

      The people were nestled, all snug in their jammies;
      Well not really jammies, but rather t-shirts and panties.
      Still hoping, waiting and praying that Santa will Deliver;
      Guess we'll have to settle for plastics again, instead of gold and silver.

      Still waiting for my stimulus, or powerball number this year;
      But I doubt it, I'll probably be Dumb, Sick, and Broke just like last year.

      Never am I lucky, or ever catch a break,
      God never blesses me, with lobster or steak;

      Those bad RICH people, with Bells & Whistles,
      I'll just sit here and settle, for my chicken and gristle.

      Someone ask, and I said don't tell,
      Dammit they're shooting outside again, what the hell.
      Nobody worried, about what goes on in the ghetto,
      They'd rather be merry and shop for riches and stilettos.
      Maybe next year, will be better for me than before,
      Or maybe I'll do something different this year, or just wait, wait, and wait again, to see what God has in store.

    16. WOW!!! There are some good ones here, hilarious, like minds, Happy Holidays To All.
      Enjoy another gift giving labeled day, but everyday gift giving in prosperity, enjoy.

    17. In a red coat with red nose, Santa Claus comes in the frost
      with a rabbit on his heels and Maiden on the horns
      If you meet this rabble, then soon the new year.
      Sorry, the Russian language, it sounds better in rhyme

    18. T’was the night before Christmas, and all through the ‘hood
      The masses were nervous, as well be they should.
      The stockings were hung by the chimney with care;
      Hoping for coal, because the fuel tanks were bare.

      The people were nestled, all snug in their jammies,
      With whispers of accolades as nominee for a Grammy.
      Arriving a princess in a chiffon dress and I in my tux,
      Materializing in our minds, making the big bucks.

      There in the near distance, our vessel awaits,
      Excited to see what’s behind the invisible gates.
      Eagerly surrendering, a thought sparks the light,
      Peering through our window, ready to take flight

      In awe of an incredible shift, a vigor, a verve,
      Forever no doubt, all ready to serve.
      A phantom power, a minute miracle maker,
      Inwardly aware, with all the forces for its taker.

      With a little pinch, a shiver, and a giggle,
      I knew in an instant, this must be a riddle.
      Ah-ha they say, as it approaches my way,
      This is the moment, I define the day.

      “Now, Gratitude! Now, Peace! Now Forgiveness and Love!
      On, Queens! On Kings! On, Angels and Doves!
      Now off to the moon, grab your stars in the sky!
      Unleash your desire, with a sparkle in your eye!”

      In due course, with floods and drought, hail and thunder,
      With Spirit in mind’s eye, there’s no need to wonder.
      Treasures unveiled thus persistence prevails,
      With all the glorious prosperity on your trail.

      And then it was, as it is, already here, already there;
      The breath of a dream, is the belief of a prayer.
      A once then prayer, now an illuminated passion,
      With plans to conquer all odds with compassion.

      The passion filled dream was full of gleam,
      Time to bring out the vision board theme.
      Bearing serenity, abundance, and grace,
      It’s a wonder there’s no chase to this place.

      It evokes calmness, clarity, and endless bliss;
      Eyes full of diamonds, the allure not to miss!
      The glow is aweless, yet gallantly still,
      In such a presence, it sure is a thrill!

      The stature of this being is pure to cherish,
      May we all remember it never does perish.
      Its graciousness is sacred and adored,
      So we all sing on its behalf the melodic chord.

      For it is grand, protective, and humble,
      But doesn’t mind if we stumbled or make a fumble.
      With a spark in the eye and slight bow of the head,
      Gesturing the way; the way in which it led.

      It is careful what it preaches, honoring its words,
      Offering the forefront for the other future herds.
      And as it leads with the heart, and the head held high,
      Our vision will service us, we are certain to try.

      In that instant, we are off on another mission,
      Trail blazing the way at our own admission.
      We hear it, we feel it, we love it, we need it,
      "Happy Christmas to all, with an almighty spin."

    19. Alone slept two boys 'cause Mama couldn't afford pricey nannies,
      When outside the project gates there arose such a clatter,
      Oh no, a drive by shooting below, and the windows all shatter,

      Scared and cold the boys run in a flash,
      To their uncle george all doped up on hash,
      Moonlight falls on a potholed street covered in snow,
      Giving an appearance of peace the residence here hardly know,

      And what form to these boys should appear?
      Mama tired from work but full of good cheer,
      A hug she gave them and kissed them quick,
      "Mama, where's Santa?" whispered four year old Nick,

      "Oh honey, I don't know, but he'll be comin' along",
      "Now hurry back to bed and I'll sing you a song.",
      "Dear God, if you hear me. Tonight I pray for my boys."
      "I work all the day long and still couldn't afford many toys."

      "But, I thank you God everyday for my many blessings and gifts."
      "Blessings of courage, and hope without which, I would never make it through all those night shifts."

      Some people at Christmas think "taxes, humbug. Why should we pay?",
      For children and people who might be hungry each day,
      "Are there no good prisons, safe schools, and roomy homeless shelters around?",
      No, no children are homeless, hungry and sick. Poverty abounds.,

      "Beware ignorance and want." A Charles Dickens' character once said,
      So tonight, while your home all safe in your beds,
      Remember the ones most of us like to forget,
      They are not leeches and wretches, they are you, and their me, I truly regret,

      So, let's not forget as Christmas slips away,
      The one's who might need us when all hope is sway,

      Merry Christmas to all, may we love one another,
      Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas my sisters and brothers.

      1. Powerful, poignant, and thought-provoking. By far the best so far (in my opinion) because it illustrates the true message (or at least what SHOULD be the true message) of Christmas! Well done!!!

    20. The Night Before Christmas, 2010

      T’was the night before Christmas, and all through the ‘hood
      The masses were nervous, as well be they should.
      The stockings were hung by the chimney with care;
      Hoping for coal, because the fuel tanks were bare.

      The people were nestled, all snug in their jammies;
      But fear had taken root from Seattle to Miami.
      When the nation awoke, in their stocklings they would find,
      A little green book titled Propserity Mind.
      When they opened it up what leapt from the page,
      Were life changing words from a man named Gage.

      Could this really be what
      Santa had brought,
      Could the world be transformed by the
      power of thought,
      Is this the information they all
      should have sought,
      And would their minds be open
      to what was about to be taught?

      They absorbed every word and through the pages they flipped,
      Quickly realizing where they all had slipped.
      Chapter by chapter it all became clear,
      Their mind was the captor and held them hostage in fear.

      But no need to panic,
      And no need to cry,
      To your limiting beliefs,
      Say your final goodbye,
      The next revelation filled the people with glee,
      "Your thoughts locked you up but that means YOU still hold the key".

      All at once their minds
      unfurled,
      And the door opened up
      to a whole new world,
      No more limitation,
      And no more lack,
      Your mind is a castle,
      Not some rickety shack.

      They peeped out the window
      to a whole new reality,
      They were now the proud owners,
      of the Midas Mentality.

      The ole' dirty roads were now
      golden brick streets,
      And the cheap motels transformed
      to luxury suites,
      Buisness, pleasure and tropical retreats,
      By train or by plane it was 1st class seats.

      Designer clothes in the closets,
      and buckles of brass,
      And everyone's car,
      has a full tank of gas.

      How did this happen,
      well just take a look,
      In each persons hand,
      Is the little green book.

      Merry Christmas to ALL and to ALL a great night 🙂

      1. Wish it had not been called a green book. Makes me think of the red book. Course, as time goes by, more people won't know what the red book was. I'll give you a hint. Chairman Mao

    21. T’was the night before Christmas, and all through the ‘hood
      The masses were nervous, as well be they should.

      The stockings were hung by the chimney with care;
      Hoping for coal, because the fuel tanks were bare.

      The people were nestled, all snug in their jammies,
      Not the dream they hoped for, but common and cosy.

      Some thought quite deeply- is it always be this way?
      Is this the whole reality or my deceptive experience?

      Are those my eyes seeing, or doubt poisoned mind?
      I want to become wise and make my deeds great.

      But is that even possible for one to achieve?
      Straight from the heart Christmas voice answers:

      Move from frustration to wisdom ilumination,
      Live in inspiration come from aspiration.

      Cheerfully, sleeplessly, unconditionally
      Be who you would be! BE WHO YOU WOULD BE!

      _________________________________________
      Merry Christmas Randy and everybody else,
      please forgive my grammar, as my native language is not english :))

    22. T’was the night before Christmas, and all through the ‘hood
      The masses were nervous, as well be they should.
      The stockings were hung by the chimney with care;
      Hoping for coal, because the fuel tanks were bare.

      The people were nestled, all snug in their jammies;
      But afraid of the dark like young mamby pambys
      They shivered and whispered and thunk thoughts of doom.
      The rot in their minds filled their sad hearts with gloom.

      Surrounded by media worse than a bad joke
      It’s no wonder these souls were dumb, sick and broke.
      What they needed the most was an illustrious sage
      But alas--they had not heard of the great Randy Gage.

      Desperate they were, in this terrible hour,
      They took a bold move, to save on their power.
      They picked up the clicker with a last worried look;
      They turned off the TV…and opened a book.

      Suddenly a jolt from the one true reality
      Awakened them to their entitlement mentality.
      They looked at each other in unison and screamed
      “It is WE who gave up on our own precious dreams.”

      “It wasn’t my sickness or broken down van,
      It isn’t the Taxes or even the MAN
      Not my mother or father or misfortunes galore
      I surrender that falsehood-I’ll be victim no more.”

      That TV-less moment helped their minds stop its chatter
      And they stumbled upon the truth that most matters;
      “The genius within, is for us to behold;
      Once we let go of not being bold.

      We are all divine; we all have a chance.
      Every moment of life is a magical dance
      Designed to awaken the best we can be
      Always available to those who will see!”
      ..................
      Happy Holidays and blessings for the New Year,
      Jeanne and Will Kidd
      PS. We are negotiable on the tawdry sex option if it wins us points.

        1. "We are negotiable on the tawdry sex option if it wins us points." Bwah! ROFLMAO!!~

          Nice poem, Jeanne and Will!

          This is my first experience with the yearly non-sectarian Gage poem, and I'm IN next time!! [Didn't see it posted until today when I got to work checked my email {Note to self: subscribe from your Evo and get the blog there!}]

          Thanks for this Randy!

    23. Way fun, as usual! ... 🙂

      T’was the night before Christmas, and all through the ‘hood
      The masses were nervous, as well be they should.
      The stockings were hung by the chimney with care;
      Hoping for coal, because the fuel tanks were bare.

      The people were nestled, all snug in their jammies;
      While the Prosperity King lounged in toasty Miami.
      But then, just like Batman who gets urgent Bat calls;
      A great plea for help he could hear through the walls.

      So away he did travel to gather his flock;
      And he worried not once about the hour on his clock.
      On their front lawns he posted and demanded attention;
      And beckoned them all to a ‘prosperity convention.’

      He winked and he motioned, as if only to say;
      I’ve got more yet to teach you, so come on, this way.
      You thought that you ‘got it’ when we spoke here last year;
      But something was missing, and it needs to be clear.

      Then away to Miami, they all knew they must follow;
      Their excitement was great, though their courage was hollow
      He jumped in his Viper and they boarded a plane;
      But he got there before them, for he knew this domain.

      He took them, by moonlight, to a nice balmy beach;
      As, for maximum impact, ‘twas a great place to teach.
      He watched as they listened; every word they did trace;
      Then with long arms outstretched, he presented the place …

      “You have studied the laws, and you wished for all this;
      So why do you think you still don’t have your bliss?”
      “You have listened to every last word that I’ve said;
      But there’s still one small hurdle and it’s … inside your head”

      “Tonight – what if I offered one wish, large or small;
      To be granted completely, no questions at all?
      If the only requirement of you was to ask. …
      But to KNOW you were WORTHY – too daunting a task?

      They looked at him in wonder, and then looked away;
      Freedom lay in the truth of the words he did say…
      “I suspected you couldn’t, so, how ‘bout we guess -
      Are you afraid I’ll say ‘no’, or afraid I’ll say … ‘YES’?”

      “See … don’t believe that you’re worthy? Then, you can’t win the game;
      And all your attempts will just turn out the same.
      Think it’s failing you fear? Nope! Let’s try on this switch;
      What if the truth is … you’re afraid to be RICH?”

      “You have to believe … not just wish that you are -
      A magician, a millionaire, a master, a star.
      When you stop feeling ‘less than’ and act upon your desire
      Just watch how the Universe starts to conspire.”

      “So take what I’ve told you and go share with many;
      If you get tempted by doubts, don’t you give in to any!
      And next year at Christmas, I’m expecting from you
      To be living the same kind of freedom I do.”

      “Now I’m off to the opera, the ball field, the stage;
      I’ve got so much to do … because I’m Randy Gage!
      Remember you were born just as gifted as I;
      And it’s your job to be ‘You’ with a capital ‘Y’!”

      Holiday Love to All and Wishes for Bright Blessings in the New Year!

      K

    24. T’was the night before Christmas, and all through the ‘hood
      The masses were nervous, as well be they should.
      The stockings were hung by the chimney with care;
      Hoping for coal, because the fuel tanks were bare.

      The people were nestled, all snug in their jammies;

      Stop right here - if you're expecting grammies or mammies........

      Ever heard of pattern interruption?
      Good - cos the lack of such leads to lifestyle corruption.

      You think it's Ok that they're hoping for coal
      For Christmas? An utterly pathetic goal.

      Instead of asking for gold, frankense or myrr
      A Viper a Bentley, diamonds or fur!

      They obviously don't know the Prosperity Messiah
      Or the promises in the 29th chapter of Jeremiah.

      Their ignorance and reality is of their making
      When life in abundance is theirs for the taking.

      What a terrible way to think
      Hoping for coal - where others think mink.

      But many choose to close their eyes
      And swallow all of soceities lies

      Why are they nervous, and full of fear?
      When cheer is here 365 days a year

      Abundance is everywhere if you look for it
      Health, wealth, happiness and wit

      Just surf the net - just tell a joke
      Or simply read "Why You're Sick Dumb and Broke."

      Or wallow in your misery -" I'm so badly paid"
      For it's in moments of decision that your destiny is made

      While many lament the woes of the recession
      They then wonder why they are suffering from depression.

      While others swim in the ocean of abundance
      Be they in Africa, India, Asia or France

      Coal for Christmas? - give me a break!
      Why eat bread when you can eat cake?

      What will it take for this community
      To understand the overwhelming opportunity

      This world offers to those who truly believe
      And know their tapestry only they can weave

      I am so grateful that my attitude
      Is always one of gratitude

      That I no longer live by the seat of my pants
      And that I stumbled upon Randys rants.

      And as I count my blessings each and every day
      For all those less fortunate I do pray

      That every man, woman, child, and dog
      Has the good fortune to stumble upon Randy's blog.

    25. "Stop right here – if you’re expecting grammies or mammies……..
      Ever heard of pattern interruption?
      Good – cos the lack of such leads to lifestyle corruption."

      That is inspired, Hilary! I like the way your mind works.
      jim

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