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Torturing Yourself

Posted By: Randy GageJune 13, 2014

It’s now been more than a year since I began my sabbatical.  It’s has been a powerful learning experience.  Some of the lessons are predictable; others have been surprising.  One of the most fascinating lessons along the way has been this:

Realizing the difference between self-development versus self-torture. 

The work I do is driven by a belief in the inherent goodness of humankind.  I actually do believe that most people would prefer to do the right thing, act virtuously, and become a better person.  It’s the reason I write this blog and probably the reason you read it.  There is great joy and satisfaction that comes from self-improvement – feeling every day you are a little better person than you were the day before.

But there is a danger on this pathway that becomes present when we drive ourselves too hard or for the wrong reasons.  Let’s explore each of these scenarios:

Danger number one becomes real when your goal turns into perfectionism. 

It’s great to decide to get into shape and become healthy.  But comparing the image you see in the mirror with Photo Shopped pictures of gorgeous, fitness magazine models on a heroin diet with eight-pack-abs will only leave you feeling less than.

We strive for the countenance of Bruce Lee, the enlightenment of the Buddha, the mercy of Jesus, or the patience of Gandhi.  And while these are noble examples to endeavor, these people are dead and what we know of them now has been embellished by legend, lore and superstition.  Comparing yourself to cultural institutions like them can only less you feeling inadequate.  Use your personal heroes to inspire you, but the only person to compare yourself with is yourself.

Some of you reading the above are probably preparing to comment below that there is an exception because you believe one of them was a god.  You certainly have every right to believe that, but if you want to approach this subject rationally, you must understand that there is really no rational evidence to support your beliefs, and this is no more illogical than the people who believed in Zeus, Neptune or Mercury.

Now if that belief brings you closer to a self-actualized human, then it serves you.  Unfortunately for most people in the world today, the religious beliefs they were programmed with don’t take them closer to enlightenment, but instead prevent them from reaching it.

I hate to even bring this topic up here, because the fundamentalists in many religions will want to change the debate and convince me of the truth of their particular deity.  That conversation now bores me, and takes us away from the real point here – whether these sky god myths from the Iron Age really bring humanity (and more specifically, YOU) closer to self-actualization.

The relevant issue here is that the ideal of perfectionism is unreachable, so when you use that as your goal, it allows the opportunity to beat yourself up, because you’re certain to fall short. 

It’s when self-development turns into self-torture.  It is hidden under the guise of self-improvement, but the usual result is endless self-castigation, self-flagellation and worthiness issues.  (Christians will likely be quick to point out that their belief is that they are sorry sinners and forgiven for their sins due to the sacrifice of their savior.  But that’s hard for me to reconcile with the endless stream of Christians who come to me with deeply engrained worthiness issues.)

If you set perfection as your goal, you are certain to come up short, and that leads to nervous breakdowns, insanity, or a chronic condition of low self-esteem.  The end result is you strive for prosperity and success on a conscious level, but end up self-sabotaging yourself on the unconscious  level.

So it is vital that you separate yourself from the beliefs you were programmed with – religious or secular – and question whether or not they really serve you.  Attempting to become better every day builds character and takes you toward enlightenment.  Striving for perfection makes you crazy, disappointed and let down.

Self-improvement is a wonderful thing.  Every good habit you develop means one less bad habit you practice.  The more knowledge you seek, the more wisdom you acquire.  As long as you’re living in the moment and celebrating the journey, it is a path taking you where you want to go.  It is only when you measure your progress against the final destination of perfection that it becomes a trip down frustration avenue.

Danger number two happens when you mistake self-image actualization with real self-actualization. 

That is you are attempting to actualize a concept or image of who you desire to be, instead of actualizing yourself.  One of the contributing factors that caused me to sell everything and begin this sabbatical, was the image the world seemed to want me to maintain.  I’m the prosperity guy, so everyone wanted to talk about how many sports cars I had, my $50,000 watches, or the merits of Singapore Airlines suites versus flying private.

It’s understandable that people want to see a prosperity coach actually manifest prosperity and live vicariously through them.  But I have no desire to be the Viper guy any longer, and just felt there was too much emphasis on superficiality and materialism.  (And being honest here, I have to take responsibility for creating a lot of that.)  I’m not interested in being what anyone wants me to be, other than myself.

Yes, when you manifest true prosperity, it does include money and material things, but it also includes much more than that.  And when you’re seeking success and self-actualization, it’s important that it be on your terms, not any one else’s.  If you are projecting yourself as something you’re not, it will only leave you with an unfilled void.  There is no joy and fulfillment in living for an image.

You have to love yourself first.  Only then can you fall in love with the rest of the world.  And only then will the world fall in love with the real you.

There are too many people becoming doctors because their mother wanted them to, or becoming lawyers because that’s what their father is.  It’s very easy to fall into a trap where you are trying to actualize an image of who you want to be, not the actual person you want to be.  When you seek approval from others it’s very difficult to avoid this result.  Trying to become the person your parents, spouse or boss wants you to be doesn’t often lead to happiness.  (At least not for you.  It may make them very happy.)  This is another reason why the people you surround yourself with is so important.

Most of us surround ourselves with people who give us permission to stay where we are.  That’s no good either.  You want to surround yourself with people who challenge you and push you to greatness.  But it’s important that these be people who want the highest good for you, and aren’t just pushing their agenda of who they want you to be.  They need to be people who simply want to see you unfold into the most amazing person you are capable of.  That’s what I want for you.

You up for that?  Thoughts?

- RG

Randy Gage is the author of nine international bestsellers on success, including, Risky Is the New Safe.  He’s currently on sabbatical, writing his next book, but posts occasionally here.  If you find these postcards helpful, please share them.

59 comments on “Torturing Yourself”

  1. Great stuff Randy.. cool if stuff makes you happy but often it just becomes a burden.. saw a cool interview with the actor Bryan Cranston once.. said he didn't need to work after Malcolm in the Middle, but he just loves to act.. and Walter White in Breaking Bad was just such a great role to get.. he just won a Tony for playing LBJ on Broadway.. what an inspiration.. I feel so lucky that I finally got a passion in writing about food and  wine.. saw an interview with Keith Richards talking about Chuck Berry, says that's when I knew what I wanted to do, didn't dream I could make a living at it, would do it on the side if I was accountant, probably would have been better off.. said with a laugh..

  2. Hi Randy....as always thought provoking.                                                                                                                             Just as an aside I know you are into a healthy lifestyle etc; I suggest you get a copy of the book "Quality Longevity" by Mark Lovendale - this has to be the most definitive book on nutritional science one can get.  Mark lives on California and I met him last year at BEA in NY; if you google his name you will find lots of info on him; get the 2014 edition with the 2 dvds.
    Have a more than dynamic weekend :)n aside,

  3. Always good to see the human side of enligthened beings, to get rid of the perfection curse. Also, to lighten up, let go struggle, and not take life seriously, because it's not 😉 Thanks!

  4. The greatest obstacles often come down to fear.
    Courage is feeling afraid, but going down the road or blazing a new one when you're scared,

  5. I love how Randy has broadened the discussion of prosperity to include more than material possessions. It has always been there in his writing but this new focus should help all of us. The "New Rich", as Tim Ferris calls it, think of prosperity in terms of relative wealth. Factors such as freedom and relationships should be included in the calculation of prosperity. Just be sure we are not adding them to the calculation at the expense of material possessions. It is still nice to have the Juice and if you are living a truly prosperous life, you are adding value to the universe that is going to come back to you in material riches.

  6. Prepare to be lonely, for a while. This has been my experience when I have made the most important decisions of my life-there will be some barbecues to which you will no longer be invited. 🙂
    It doesn't feel good, but feeling the cramped muscles of staying small is not acceptable anymore.
    Thanks for all you do.
    Debbie

  7. AMEN, RANDY! What I find funny is how many people who never want to lose their belonging to "the crowd" and can sacrifice all their life to be one of the many. Although I have never belonged anywhere at all, I have no desire for it. But I had for many years and it made me weak and destroyed me in many ways.I can see that much of my destiny has been to live away from the many, be an individual. How I almost instinktively seeked that, which I find impressing about me. Even though I miss those barbecues from time to time, I never want to change back to the one I was then. It´s a difficult time we live in. I love to watch movies from the 60s, and I feel so much in my heart when I see how it was "back then". And now? The real, profound happiness that I hope everybody seek, where is it? Can we become truly happy in this world? My childhood was sad and I was sad but I changed it and today, all my sadness is gone. I can have tantrums and many of them but the happiness I have reach by myself, despite everything, will never go away. That is my true prosperity which I gard in my heart. Even though I am not planning to become a new Ghandi or Jesus, what they did is what we all have to do now to really survive this time: Arise from the darkness to our new, true self

  8. I believe the excercise of writing down your big "WHY"; the compelling reason of why you want prosperity is crucial.
    The litmus test of course is whether your "WHY", is congruent with self improvement, understanding self improvement really implies comparing oneself with who one was a minute ago, an hour ago, a week ago, a month ago, a year ago, five years ago etc..
    It's crucial to make your "evolution" your purpose in life I have found. 

    Concommitant to that, is understanding the contrasts between prosperity, mediocrity and poverty consciousness..

    If one adopts the beliefs that "the mind is an instrument for prosperity consciousness OR poverty consciousness AND that one's creator WANTS them to be RICH..

    and one believes in their own inherent, innate divinity; that at their "core" all peoples are inherently prosperous and good..
    then theres huge motivation to "reveal" that goodness; that prosperousness of essential core good nature.
    It's believing the belief that man is God's "original blessing"; (and) not being sympathetic to any notions "contrary" to this "essential prosperous nature" of core character.
    Therfore it's "unlearning" much or all of the "negative failure programming"..
    divorcing oneself if you will from victim consciousness and assuming "Victorhood consciousness"..
    while easier said than done, it IS doable and possible! "Distilling and refining one spirit" yields a "prosperous awareness" of the abundance that surrounds us all.
    Consciousness is a "magnifier" of what you focus on..it's also the most kindred thing to (and this is going to sound "way-out-there") to mother Mary's womb..
    IE: when you believe in your innate divinity, your can "CONCIEVE" that innate divinity in consciousness, and your life will reflect this consciousness "objectified" outwardly..
    Living prosperously, and BEING prosperous is a beleif construct..
    as the MIND is an instrument for prosperity.
    Peter!

  9. Well said Randy. I agree with you on each point. Funny how I find myself on a very similar journey in the spiritual sense. You are one of the people I continue to be inspired by. Thank you for your depth and willingness to share. Blessed be your continuing journey.

  10. Well put Randy. It can be a battle to leave the life of averageness and go to the life of success and wealth. All the people you grew up with are trying to keep you where you're at in order to justify their averageness and their lack of dreams of becoming more.
    Don't compare yourself to somebody else's success, only to who you were yesterday.
    rik

  11. I don't see Scientology as the perfect cure. Tossing off the mentality of the "Kings-time and beaten masses" Middle Ages and outdated organizations in favor of getting to the heart of the matter that the Iron Age and later our founding fathers attempted to address may be a bit more to the point. Certainly, it opens an interesting debate. 
    Everyone worships something, whether it's God, Money, Science, a Nation or Self. It is a part of our nature and spirit. I like how you point out that prosperity is not always a "material" thing, but more, IMO, related to our "Freedom of choice".  Do what you love.

  12. You are very insightful as always Randy. While I agree with the aims of the post 100% I am unsure why you seem to push against Christians. I spent most of my adult life as an agnostic leaning toward a world view with atheists. Even now as a follower of Christ (I don't like the connotations of Christian) I find myself off put by them a lot. This point could have been less obtrusively made by a statement that IF you believe one of them was a god, then you are comparing your imperfect, growing mortal self to a god and left the issue alone. Easy and done. I know this must have occurred to you and you ignored it. If it is due to the larger idea that religious and secular beliefs serving you or hindering you, I understand but still think it is more push than you need while feeling that you are needlessly attacking my faith. Maybe my years studding other religions and secular ideals just has me very open with what I believe.
    Following my personal lord and savior in no way hinders my growth or leaves me with worthiness issues, quite the opposite. Not all believers understand (and I don't claim to 100% either). Questioning  the existence of someone's core faith is different than questioning weather their interpretation of that deity serves them and maybe they could reevaluate the word as I assure you in my reading of the word the trinity wants your success!

  13. Good Stuff.  And Thank You for dropping the conspicuous consumption model of success as I think we are all moving past that and seeking....more.  I'd like to see you explore more the what is beyond BSOs and two key ideas - how do we strip away the dross and how do we polish the stone?  Best wishes...Joe.

  14. RG..As always good stuff here, especially the last two paragraphs. I mention this since I feel strongly about the statement "The purpose of Life is to live a life of Purpose". And in doing so, it's my vision and goal to share stories in a unique visual way about the types of people you describe here while bringing to light the infinite possibilities our spirit holds. The fact that your personal journey has caused you to look inward in order to grow is the best sign there is! Life isn't about collecting things, it's about the difference we make in the world and the love we give and grow within us. As Mandela said in the Inaugural speech ".. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.. "

  15. Fantastic--best every--shows your journey and leads us in ours--which some of us have discovered.   The past was fabulous--doesn't the Source manifest great wonders--and we are privilege to participate in that great prosperity--and yet we go deeper--into the true riches of even greater prosperity--and isn't this THE t;ime?  Lead on, dear Randy--truly a unique wonder of wonders in your gift of you!!

  16. Well.......I have found that self actualization, as it is termed in this blog, is not to be obtained in this span of earthly time. I won't venture into the Christian comment, since being a Christian is also a development process, yet being part of my point of perception, relative to the comments in the blog....It is not something you purchase or obtain through your own efforts, it is a gift from God and cannot be bought or bartered. I think self righteousness is the greatest sin of all. Many of us who have been students of self development, actualization... what ever you choose to call it,, trying to be better than we were the day before or trying to identify our true purpose, have or will at some point come to the realization that it is unobtainable in our own human effort. For example, happiness is a human emotion, joy is a spiritual gift. One, we can give ourselves and the other, is given to us. I am living proof, that until you come to the end of yourself and stop striving and struggling in your own humanness, nothing will permanently change. It is only the gifts that the spirit gives, by belief and thankfulness, that we are ultimately transformed from the inside out. Grace can be and is intended to be manifested, in this physical realm, but only by one who believes in Jesus.

  17. Randy, I LOVE this blog! You are SPOT ON! I also mention the importance of not becoming what your parents want you to be, but who you already are by "Igniting the Rock-Star WITHIN"! 
    As always, I'm wishing you...
    peace.luv.music.
    fiZ

  18. Tats funny that you say that i never got into your extreme materialism i always liked your information about prosperity. i knew when u left that that what u were in search of authentic prosperity.

  19. I have been on a 6 year journey in internet marketing land. Hopefully soon I can go on a sabbatical of my own. My income is rising and once I earn an income hopefully I can leverage my business enough for a short break.

  20. I wrote a lengthy response this morning, edited it successfully, then went to add something to a paragraph and it timed out. Friends, when you edit a comment here, make a copy of the entire response first, in case it times out..
    In response to your question RG, I'm totally up for being and perpetually become (more) amazing.

    I believe the a "science" to it, whether or not a person achieves it ie: Amazing, consciously or unconsciously

    If you can learn to achieve "amazing" on a consistent basis, you can measure it (keep a journal) and modify your approach(es) with new knowledge and wisdom/life lessons.

    One of the greatest "litmus tests" that seems very relevant here, for this discussion, is whether or not you're "enjoying" life, OR "enduring" life.

    As my friend and one of my lifestyle mentors Ray Higdon says: "I beleive life is meant to be enjoyed, not endured..

    Possibly the people of potential greatness that strive vainly for perfectionism, unknowingly gear themselves to "endure" life.. with little emotional reward of ENJOYING life..
    I've done "enduring". It's not (lasting) fun. It's drill and mediocre. There's no sense of "aliveness" to it..
    it bland repetition..

    "enjoyment" at least allows celebration of "aliveness" and affirmation you are in the "here and now"

  21. Dear Randy, thanks for this very important information. I've just realized I did a lot of things that could make me perfect but wasted much time I could spend to reach real goals in my life. And even now while reading your post I think I should do my best to research Randy's language in order to speak and write in the same way for it seems to me nobody in the world can express thoughts  like you do. (I am Ukrainian and have been studying English for almost 37 years already). But this time I can kill two birds with one stone because I'm being enriched with your powerful force that will drive me to success in my life.

  22. Hi Randy. U R an on Earth letting us ALL Know what is the MOST important in Life and Be - THANK YOU❗️
    I have just recently discovered your final thoughts (and I am still in financial poverty, but not without Prosperity) - so there IS the TRUTH❗️
    Looking forward to seeing You in Florida
    Blessings,
    Rasmus Elton

  23. Randy, thanks for the article!
    Deeply enjoyed reading, very profound and thought-provoking. I agree with all points you raised in it. I see that you are moving on with your personal and professional growth, and thats what makes your readers very happy.
     
    Very important it was that you touched upon such a serious issue as self-esteem. Such things as rigid perfectionism and doing something on the basis of expecting someone's approval are indicators that the former still has some room for improvement; and once we replenish it, there is no longer need for those issues.
    Please don't take it as an unsolicited advice or expectation or so but I still hope that you won't stop talking about those nice material things:)
    I agree that it is far not the only indicator of prosperity, but just one of its facets and with time I learned to think that it is not the goal but tool to acheive what you want.
     
    Last week mom and I...spoke of you:) Basically, about how many things I learnt from you [and taught my mom by the way]. And I remember telling her that I think you are almost the only person I know who are not ashamed of money and material things. While I often saw when many people, both poor and rich, think that talking about money and things money can buy, is something disgraceful.
     
    And it is not!! Those beautiful high quality things were created by people and for people, not for some celestials from Mount Olympus. Therefore it is neither a crime, nor shame to want those things and to enjoy them, as long as they are earned by honest means.
     
    It is only important to remember not to fall into other extreme and not to deify money, not to make it a cult or a determining factor for human relationship. That would be very shallow and low. While you teach the opposite - you teach thinking big.
     
    And in my understanding thinking big is to put people above money and understand that things are not more and not less than just things. And at the same time try to earn more instead of needing less, choose quality over quantity and opt for the best among all variants, available at a given time.
    Something like that...an opinion...not good, not bad...just mine.

  24. Dear Randy, thanks a lot! That's exactly whatI need now and what I've been thinking about recently. You support me greatly with your ideas on my way to life changes.

  25. Thanks Randy for sharing your knowledge and opinions.  I agree that you have to strive to be the best you and not necessarily the perfect person or strive to be the stuff of legend.  You have to be realistic in your assessment of yourself and be reasonable with what and who you want to be.  With that being said there is absolutely nothing wrong with dreaming big but at the same time you can't strive to be perfect, it's just not gonna happen, nobody is perfect.

  26. Randy_Gage Thanks RG, it had been deleted I thought, good to know, it will add value I believe!

  27. This is why I want to continue to pursue my interest in music even though it's risky, unsafe, and at 32, I am "too old". 
    Music and production techniques are something I have been studying and practicing everyday, in spite of being told it was useless and that I needed to get a "real" job.
    When my parents didn't want to help me go to college to study composition formally, I taught myself. 
    A few years ago, I started learning about music production.
    It's the only thing which makes me feel any good. That and writing stories. 
    My parents wanted me to have a "good" Union job. My other relatives wanted me to be a doctor or a lawyer or business owner doing a "safe" business.
    I worked in IT, I worked for a Union.
    I've tried self-employment, entrepreneurship marketing, and even writing apps. Safe bets or things which have the possibility to make me rich, but I honestly can't do anything without any passion.
    Music is what I am passionate about, and I wonder if it's too late to be successful at it.

  28. I dated someone a few years ago who encouraged me to pursue music, and I've shared things with friends who think I could do it. I am more focused on electronic music rather than pop which caters sometimes to pre-teens, although I do learn from pop as well.
    Part of me really says to suck it up and do it anyway. In my gut I feel I should do this, but yes, I am scared sh*tless.

  29. @Jesse I don't think Randy is pushing against Christians.  I think he's pushing against stupidity, superstition, and lack of logic regardless of what form it comes in.

  30. Randy, I have to commend you on your perception that humans are inherently good.  Unfortunately, I do not hold the same opinion.  I was in law enforcement for 20 years, most of it in investigations.  I have seen humans do the most heinous, unimaginable things possible to other humans.  My opinion is that  humans are nothing more than a bunch of shaved apes.  Excuse me, now - I need to go outside and swing from tree and throw feces at my neighbor.

  31. " I’m not interested in being what anyone wants me to be, other than myself." Randy, I  concur, and do live by these words.  I  have been called different and mocked for not going along,  Yet,  I'm absolutely in love with my true authentic self after peeling off years of dogmas and indoctrinations. Although, I am a work in progress, It is in my own self-realization that I am FREE to BE, and create the life that serves me. 
    Inner transformation is a beautiful process of self-development. You get to listen to your truth, and this is where expansion of self takes on a whole new meaning of who you truly are.
    Listen to your heart/soul.

  32. The "real" danger has always been in comparing yourself to "others" or the ideals of "others". I happen to be a Christian but the one thing I do realize is that I will never be perfect on this earth and I don't feel guilty about that, I feel encouraged by the fact that even the things I do in this life, the "seeds" I plant will produce fruits far beyond my physical being on this planet, through my kids and my kid's children and through those that my example has caused to changed their paths to a more "fruitful" path.
    I'm going to get on the soap box a little here, Christianity and basically all religions are a little guilty of this but the black eye that organized religions are taking are fully on their shoulders due to the fact that they have taken their doctrines and instead of using them as a "mirror", they have turned them to become a "microscope" putting everyone under this "microscope" while they were subject to all of the "scandals" that the church leaders came under.
    In my humble opinion, The Bible was written in a manner to self examine not as a diagnoses tool for you to turn on others unless they proclaim to be of your faith, then your supposed to "police" within your own faith. When we start to live the principles that are spelled out in the Bible, we will not have to go out and beat people over the head with the book BUT people will be naturally drawn the to results that we are getting in our lives due to living the Godly principles that are in the book, broken down simply as "Believe in God with all your heart, mind, body and soul and to treat others as you would want to be treated."
    Life is hard enough without trying to complicate it by trying to get others to conform to your way of thinking, let your example shine so brightly that your words don't even matter...
    As Always, Here's to your LifetoSuccess,
    John Clark, http://www.lifetosuccess.com

  33. lifetosuccess I actually like this response, although I am agnostic.  I wish all religious followers felt this way instead of a very small minority.  If everyone thought of religion as they do ice cream, the world would be a much better place.  For example, your opinion may be that chocolate is the best ice cream ever invented, and mine may be strawberry.  As long as you shut up and eat your chocolate and don't try to  force your chocolate onto my strawberry, we will get along fine.

  34. lifetosuccess Great response! I am a Christian of your sort as well - kudos for explaining it so well! 🙂

  35. Randy, what a really lovely post. I'm sorry I wanted you to be something you weren't. We are all perfect just the way we are, and when we better ourselves, we are still perfect just in a different way. And when we mess up.....we're still perfect. Perfectly us!

  36. Randy, I really like the new look of your blog. However, the title is going across your face,and I don't like that. We want to see your face! And, that R looks like it is poking you in the nose. Please Randy get that R off your nose.

  37. Oh pooh. Well I'll just have to look at other pictures of your face. 🙂 I thought it might be just my screen. Okay, pardon the interruption.

  38. guest It is important to be.  No none else is exactly like you or thinks or does all things that you are endowed to do all that you can be.  You are of course the only one that can truly fully expose and fully expand the real you.  It is your real joy and I believe duty to polish yourself & fluff your wings for the greater good.  Wow what if?????

  39. Randy_Gage Annieb it's not just her screen. The new stuff ain't coming in right on my PC either. The RG logo and your name cover your face. I haven't looked at it on my iPad or iMac yet but def not formatted right for PC's. Mine anyway.

  40. Annieb People of greatness, I have a p.c. with windows seven. Randy's blog reads just fine on mine, and in the newsletters/postcards RG sends too. ~ Peter!

  41. RG, have you seen the Son of God movie yet? In my opinion there are numerous valuable prosperity lessons in this story.
    ie: turning the other cheek, critical thinking makes a difference, belief so strong , one is willing to die for their cause, and the impossible "mastery of mortality" which only Jesus did (apparently) however he "showed" it's practical.. oh jesus was the best "word of mouth" advocate there ever was!

    Jesus demonstrated the Faith principle with unwavering belief, feeding the gathering of multitudes..

    His crucifiction wasn't "self torture", however you have to wonder if his prosperity powers being so "attuned" that he could not "foresee" the crucifiction.. as a "psychic event"

    Very intriguing movie!

    Peter!

  42. PeterGHorrill No I haven't seen it.  I usually avoid religious movies because there is so much negative programming.  Glad to hear this one is better.
    -RG

  43. Randy_Gage RG, if you believed Iron Man was a prosperous movie, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised at the Son of God movie. That's my gut feeling. I could be wrong however. Expressing what I believe will be helpful. It's only an opinion. Respect!

  44. PeterGHorrill What is interesting is the Bible is a very good book about prosperity, actually in my opinion the best book on prosperity (Randy_Gage, yours are a close second), one of the biggest lessons on prosperity from the book is that when we start to rely on only what we see around us, we become limited by what we see but when we look to God and rely on Him, and follow the master commandments to love God with all our mind, body and soul and to treat one another as we want to be treated, most of our concerns will melt away.
    Most of the parables that Jesus taught were about treating others with respect and not looking to others for our well being but to rely on God to take care of those needs while we focus on providing value to others with the gifts that God has provided us and we all have great talents that will serve a need of society, we simply (which is very hard) have to uncover those talents and start to use those talents to serve the need of others. Read the "parable of the talents", very insightful into the prosperity principles that have served the earth from the beginning of time.
    As Always, Here's to Your LifetoSuccess,
    God Bless You,
    John Clark http://www.lifetosuccess.com

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    1. Great stuff Randy.. cool if stuff makes you happy but often it just becomes a burden.. saw a cool interview with the actor Bryan Cranston once.. said he didn't need to work after Malcolm in the Middle, but he just loves to act.. and Walter White in Breaking Bad was just such a great role to get.. he just won a Tony for playing LBJ on Broadway.. what an inspiration.. I feel so lucky that I finally got a passion in writing about food and  wine.. saw an interview with Keith Richards talking about Chuck Berry, says that's when I knew what I wanted to do, didn't dream I could make a living at it, would do it on the side if I was accountant, probably would have been better off.. said with a laugh..

    2. Hi Randy....as always thought provoking.                                                                                                                             Just as an aside I know you are into a healthy lifestyle etc; I suggest you get a copy of the book "Quality Longevity" by Mark Lovendale - this has to be the most definitive book on nutritional science one can get.  Mark lives on California and I met him last year at BEA in NY; if you google his name you will find lots of info on him; get the 2014 edition with the 2 dvds.
      Have a more than dynamic weekend :)n aside,

    3. Always good to see the human side of enligthened beings, to get rid of the perfection curse. Also, to lighten up, let go struggle, and not take life seriously, because it's not 😉 Thanks!

    4. The greatest obstacles often come down to fear.
      Courage is feeling afraid, but going down the road or blazing a new one when you're scared,

    5. I love how Randy has broadened the discussion of prosperity to include more than material possessions. It has always been there in his writing but this new focus should help all of us. The "New Rich", as Tim Ferris calls it, think of prosperity in terms of relative wealth. Factors such as freedom and relationships should be included in the calculation of prosperity. Just be sure we are not adding them to the calculation at the expense of material possessions. It is still nice to have the Juice and if you are living a truly prosperous life, you are adding value to the universe that is going to come back to you in material riches.

    6. Prepare to be lonely, for a while. This has been my experience when I have made the most important decisions of my life-there will be some barbecues to which you will no longer be invited. 🙂
      It doesn't feel good, but feeling the cramped muscles of staying small is not acceptable anymore.
      Thanks for all you do.
      Debbie

    7. AMEN, RANDY! What I find funny is how many people who never want to lose their belonging to "the crowd" and can sacrifice all their life to be one of the many. Although I have never belonged anywhere at all, I have no desire for it. But I had for many years and it made me weak and destroyed me in many ways.I can see that much of my destiny has been to live away from the many, be an individual. How I almost instinktively seeked that, which I find impressing about me. Even though I miss those barbecues from time to time, I never want to change back to the one I was then. It´s a difficult time we live in. I love to watch movies from the 60s, and I feel so much in my heart when I see how it was "back then". And now? The real, profound happiness that I hope everybody seek, where is it? Can we become truly happy in this world? My childhood was sad and I was sad but I changed it and today, all my sadness is gone. I can have tantrums and many of them but the happiness I have reach by myself, despite everything, will never go away. That is my true prosperity which I gard in my heart. Even though I am not planning to become a new Ghandi or Jesus, what they did is what we all have to do now to really survive this time: Arise from the darkness to our new, true self

    8. I believe the excercise of writing down your big "WHY"; the compelling reason of why you want prosperity is crucial.
      The litmus test of course is whether your "WHY", is congruent with self improvement, understanding self improvement really implies comparing oneself with who one was a minute ago, an hour ago, a week ago, a month ago, a year ago, five years ago etc..
      It's crucial to make your "evolution" your purpose in life I have found. 

      Concommitant to that, is understanding the contrasts between prosperity, mediocrity and poverty consciousness..

      If one adopts the beliefs that "the mind is an instrument for prosperity consciousness OR poverty consciousness AND that one's creator WANTS them to be RICH..

      and one believes in their own inherent, innate divinity; that at their "core" all peoples are inherently prosperous and good..
      then theres huge motivation to "reveal" that goodness; that prosperousness of essential core good nature.
      It's believing the belief that man is God's "original blessing"; (and) not being sympathetic to any notions "contrary" to this "essential prosperous nature" of core character.
      Therfore it's "unlearning" much or all of the "negative failure programming"..
      divorcing oneself if you will from victim consciousness and assuming "Victorhood consciousness"..
      while easier said than done, it IS doable and possible! "Distilling and refining one spirit" yields a "prosperous awareness" of the abundance that surrounds us all.
      Consciousness is a "magnifier" of what you focus on..it's also the most kindred thing to (and this is going to sound "way-out-there") to mother Mary's womb..
      IE: when you believe in your innate divinity, your can "CONCIEVE" that innate divinity in consciousness, and your life will reflect this consciousness "objectified" outwardly..
      Living prosperously, and BEING prosperous is a beleif construct..
      as the MIND is an instrument for prosperity.
      Peter!

    9. Well said Randy. I agree with you on each point. Funny how I find myself on a very similar journey in the spiritual sense. You are one of the people I continue to be inspired by. Thank you for your depth and willingness to share. Blessed be your continuing journey.

    10. Well put Randy. It can be a battle to leave the life of averageness and go to the life of success and wealth. All the people you grew up with are trying to keep you where you're at in order to justify their averageness and their lack of dreams of becoming more.
      Don't compare yourself to somebody else's success, only to who you were yesterday.
      rik

    11. I don't see Scientology as the perfect cure. Tossing off the mentality of the "Kings-time and beaten masses" Middle Ages and outdated organizations in favor of getting to the heart of the matter that the Iron Age and later our founding fathers attempted to address may be a bit more to the point. Certainly, it opens an interesting debate. 
      Everyone worships something, whether it's God, Money, Science, a Nation or Self. It is a part of our nature and spirit. I like how you point out that prosperity is not always a "material" thing, but more, IMO, related to our "Freedom of choice".  Do what you love.

    12. You are very insightful as always Randy. While I agree with the aims of the post 100% I am unsure why you seem to push against Christians. I spent most of my adult life as an agnostic leaning toward a world view with atheists. Even now as a follower of Christ (I don't like the connotations of Christian) I find myself off put by them a lot. This point could have been less obtrusively made by a statement that IF you believe one of them was a god, then you are comparing your imperfect, growing mortal self to a god and left the issue alone. Easy and done. I know this must have occurred to you and you ignored it. If it is due to the larger idea that religious and secular beliefs serving you or hindering you, I understand but still think it is more push than you need while feeling that you are needlessly attacking my faith. Maybe my years studding other religions and secular ideals just has me very open with what I believe.
      Following my personal lord and savior in no way hinders my growth or leaves me with worthiness issues, quite the opposite. Not all believers understand (and I don't claim to 100% either). Questioning  the existence of someone's core faith is different than questioning weather their interpretation of that deity serves them and maybe they could reevaluate the word as I assure you in my reading of the word the trinity wants your success!

    13. Good Stuff.  And Thank You for dropping the conspicuous consumption model of success as I think we are all moving past that and seeking....more.  I'd like to see you explore more the what is beyond BSOs and two key ideas - how do we strip away the dross and how do we polish the stone?  Best wishes...Joe.

    14. RG..As always good stuff here, especially the last two paragraphs. I mention this since I feel strongly about the statement "The purpose of Life is to live a life of Purpose". And in doing so, it's my vision and goal to share stories in a unique visual way about the types of people you describe here while bringing to light the infinite possibilities our spirit holds. The fact that your personal journey has caused you to look inward in order to grow is the best sign there is! Life isn't about collecting things, it's about the difference we make in the world and the love we give and grow within us. As Mandela said in the Inaugural speech ".. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.. "

    15. Fantastic--best every--shows your journey and leads us in ours--which some of us have discovered.   The past was fabulous--doesn't the Source manifest great wonders--and we are privilege to participate in that great prosperity--and yet we go deeper--into the true riches of even greater prosperity--and isn't this THE t;ime?  Lead on, dear Randy--truly a unique wonder of wonders in your gift of you!!

    16. Well.......I have found that self actualization, as it is termed in this blog, is not to be obtained in this span of earthly time. I won't venture into the Christian comment, since being a Christian is also a development process, yet being part of my point of perception, relative to the comments in the blog....It is not something you purchase or obtain through your own efforts, it is a gift from God and cannot be bought or bartered. I think self righteousness is the greatest sin of all. Many of us who have been students of self development, actualization... what ever you choose to call it,, trying to be better than we were the day before or trying to identify our true purpose, have or will at some point come to the realization that it is unobtainable in our own human effort. For example, happiness is a human emotion, joy is a spiritual gift. One, we can give ourselves and the other, is given to us. I am living proof, that until you come to the end of yourself and stop striving and struggling in your own humanness, nothing will permanently change. It is only the gifts that the spirit gives, by belief and thankfulness, that we are ultimately transformed from the inside out. Grace can be and is intended to be manifested, in this physical realm, but only by one who believes in Jesus.

    17. Randy, I LOVE this blog! You are SPOT ON! I also mention the importance of not becoming what your parents want you to be, but who you already are by "Igniting the Rock-Star WITHIN"! 
      As always, I'm wishing you...
      peace.luv.music.
      fiZ

    18. Tats funny that you say that i never got into your extreme materialism i always liked your information about prosperity. i knew when u left that that what u were in search of authentic prosperity.

    19. I have been on a 6 year journey in internet marketing land. Hopefully soon I can go on a sabbatical of my own. My income is rising and once I earn an income hopefully I can leverage my business enough for a short break.

    20. I wrote a lengthy response this morning, edited it successfully, then went to add something to a paragraph and it timed out. Friends, when you edit a comment here, make a copy of the entire response first, in case it times out..
      In response to your question RG, I'm totally up for being and perpetually become (more) amazing.

      I believe the a "science" to it, whether or not a person achieves it ie: Amazing, consciously or unconsciously

      If you can learn to achieve "amazing" on a consistent basis, you can measure it (keep a journal) and modify your approach(es) with new knowledge and wisdom/life lessons.

      One of the greatest "litmus tests" that seems very relevant here, for this discussion, is whether or not you're "enjoying" life, OR "enduring" life.

      As my friend and one of my lifestyle mentors Ray Higdon says: "I beleive life is meant to be enjoyed, not endured..

      Possibly the people of potential greatness that strive vainly for perfectionism, unknowingly gear themselves to "endure" life.. with little emotional reward of ENJOYING life..
      I've done "enduring". It's not (lasting) fun. It's drill and mediocre. There's no sense of "aliveness" to it..
      it bland repetition..

      "enjoyment" at least allows celebration of "aliveness" and affirmation you are in the "here and now"

    21. Dear Randy, thanks for this very important information. I've just realized I did a lot of things that could make me perfect but wasted much time I could spend to reach real goals in my life. And even now while reading your post I think I should do my best to research Randy's language in order to speak and write in the same way for it seems to me nobody in the world can express thoughts  like you do. (I am Ukrainian and have been studying English for almost 37 years already). But this time I can kill two birds with one stone because I'm being enriched with your powerful force that will drive me to success in my life.

    22. Hi Randy. U R an on Earth letting us ALL Know what is the MOST important in Life and Be - THANK YOU❗️
      I have just recently discovered your final thoughts (and I am still in financial poverty, but not without Prosperity) - so there IS the TRUTH❗️
      Looking forward to seeing You in Florida
      Blessings,
      Rasmus Elton

    23. Randy, thanks for the article!
      Deeply enjoyed reading, very profound and thought-provoking. I agree with all points you raised in it. I see that you are moving on with your personal and professional growth, and thats what makes your readers very happy.
       
      Very important it was that you touched upon such a serious issue as self-esteem. Such things as rigid perfectionism and doing something on the basis of expecting someone's approval are indicators that the former still has some room for improvement; and once we replenish it, there is no longer need for those issues.
      Please don't take it as an unsolicited advice or expectation or so but I still hope that you won't stop talking about those nice material things:)
      I agree that it is far not the only indicator of prosperity, but just one of its facets and with time I learned to think that it is not the goal but tool to acheive what you want.
       
      Last week mom and I...spoke of you:) Basically, about how many things I learnt from you [and taught my mom by the way]. And I remember telling her that I think you are almost the only person I know who are not ashamed of money and material things. While I often saw when many people, both poor and rich, think that talking about money and things money can buy, is something disgraceful.
       
      And it is not!! Those beautiful high quality things were created by people and for people, not for some celestials from Mount Olympus. Therefore it is neither a crime, nor shame to want those things and to enjoy them, as long as they are earned by honest means.
       
      It is only important to remember not to fall into other extreme and not to deify money, not to make it a cult or a determining factor for human relationship. That would be very shallow and low. While you teach the opposite - you teach thinking big.
       
      And in my understanding thinking big is to put people above money and understand that things are not more and not less than just things. And at the same time try to earn more instead of needing less, choose quality over quantity and opt for the best among all variants, available at a given time.
      Something like that...an opinion...not good, not bad...just mine.

    24. Dear Randy, thanks a lot! That's exactly whatI need now and what I've been thinking about recently. You support me greatly with your ideas on my way to life changes.

    25. Thanks Randy for sharing your knowledge and opinions.  I agree that you have to strive to be the best you and not necessarily the perfect person or strive to be the stuff of legend.  You have to be realistic in your assessment of yourself and be reasonable with what and who you want to be.  With that being said there is absolutely nothing wrong with dreaming big but at the same time you can't strive to be perfect, it's just not gonna happen, nobody is perfect.

    26. Randy_Gage Thanks RG, it had been deleted I thought, good to know, it will add value I believe!

    27. This is why I want to continue to pursue my interest in music even though it's risky, unsafe, and at 32, I am "too old". 
      Music and production techniques are something I have been studying and practicing everyday, in spite of being told it was useless and that I needed to get a "real" job.
      When my parents didn't want to help me go to college to study composition formally, I taught myself. 
      A few years ago, I started learning about music production.
      It's the only thing which makes me feel any good. That and writing stories. 
      My parents wanted me to have a "good" Union job. My other relatives wanted me to be a doctor or a lawyer or business owner doing a "safe" business.
      I worked in IT, I worked for a Union.
      I've tried self-employment, entrepreneurship marketing, and even writing apps. Safe bets or things which have the possibility to make me rich, but I honestly can't do anything without any passion.
      Music is what I am passionate about, and I wonder if it's too late to be successful at it.

    28. I dated someone a few years ago who encouraged me to pursue music, and I've shared things with friends who think I could do it. I am more focused on electronic music rather than pop which caters sometimes to pre-teens, although I do learn from pop as well.
      Part of me really says to suck it up and do it anyway. In my gut I feel I should do this, but yes, I am scared sh*tless.

    29. @Jesse I don't think Randy is pushing against Christians.  I think he's pushing against stupidity, superstition, and lack of logic regardless of what form it comes in.

    30. Randy, I have to commend you on your perception that humans are inherently good.  Unfortunately, I do not hold the same opinion.  I was in law enforcement for 20 years, most of it in investigations.  I have seen humans do the most heinous, unimaginable things possible to other humans.  My opinion is that  humans are nothing more than a bunch of shaved apes.  Excuse me, now - I need to go outside and swing from tree and throw feces at my neighbor.

    31. " I’m not interested in being what anyone wants me to be, other than myself." Randy, I  concur, and do live by these words.  I  have been called different and mocked for not going along,  Yet,  I'm absolutely in love with my true authentic self after peeling off years of dogmas and indoctrinations. Although, I am a work in progress, It is in my own self-realization that I am FREE to BE, and create the life that serves me. 
      Inner transformation is a beautiful process of self-development. You get to listen to your truth, and this is where expansion of self takes on a whole new meaning of who you truly are.
      Listen to your heart/soul.

    32. The "real" danger has always been in comparing yourself to "others" or the ideals of "others". I happen to be a Christian but the one thing I do realize is that I will never be perfect on this earth and I don't feel guilty about that, I feel encouraged by the fact that even the things I do in this life, the "seeds" I plant will produce fruits far beyond my physical being on this planet, through my kids and my kid's children and through those that my example has caused to changed their paths to a more "fruitful" path.
      I'm going to get on the soap box a little here, Christianity and basically all religions are a little guilty of this but the black eye that organized religions are taking are fully on their shoulders due to the fact that they have taken their doctrines and instead of using them as a "mirror", they have turned them to become a "microscope" putting everyone under this "microscope" while they were subject to all of the "scandals" that the church leaders came under.
      In my humble opinion, The Bible was written in a manner to self examine not as a diagnoses tool for you to turn on others unless they proclaim to be of your faith, then your supposed to "police" within your own faith. When we start to live the principles that are spelled out in the Bible, we will not have to go out and beat people over the head with the book BUT people will be naturally drawn the to results that we are getting in our lives due to living the Godly principles that are in the book, broken down simply as "Believe in God with all your heart, mind, body and soul and to treat others as you would want to be treated."
      Life is hard enough without trying to complicate it by trying to get others to conform to your way of thinking, let your example shine so brightly that your words don't even matter...
      As Always, Here's to your LifetoSuccess,
      John Clark, http://www.lifetosuccess.com

    33. lifetosuccess I actually like this response, although I am agnostic.  I wish all religious followers felt this way instead of a very small minority.  If everyone thought of religion as they do ice cream, the world would be a much better place.  For example, your opinion may be that chocolate is the best ice cream ever invented, and mine may be strawberry.  As long as you shut up and eat your chocolate and don't try to  force your chocolate onto my strawberry, we will get along fine.

    34. lifetosuccess Great response! I am a Christian of your sort as well - kudos for explaining it so well! 🙂

    35. Randy, what a really lovely post. I'm sorry I wanted you to be something you weren't. We are all perfect just the way we are, and when we better ourselves, we are still perfect just in a different way. And when we mess up.....we're still perfect. Perfectly us!

    36. Randy, I really like the new look of your blog. However, the title is going across your face,and I don't like that. We want to see your face! And, that R looks like it is poking you in the nose. Please Randy get that R off your nose.

    37. Oh pooh. Well I'll just have to look at other pictures of your face. 🙂 I thought it might be just my screen. Okay, pardon the interruption.

    38. guest It is important to be.  No none else is exactly like you or thinks or does all things that you are endowed to do all that you can be.  You are of course the only one that can truly fully expose and fully expand the real you.  It is your real joy and I believe duty to polish yourself & fluff your wings for the greater good.  Wow what if?????

    39. Randy_Gage Annieb it's not just her screen. The new stuff ain't coming in right on my PC either. The RG logo and your name cover your face. I haven't looked at it on my iPad or iMac yet but def not formatted right for PC's. Mine anyway.

    40. Annieb People of greatness, I have a p.c. with windows seven. Randy's blog reads just fine on mine, and in the newsletters/postcards RG sends too. ~ Peter!

    41. RG, have you seen the Son of God movie yet? In my opinion there are numerous valuable prosperity lessons in this story.
      ie: turning the other cheek, critical thinking makes a difference, belief so strong , one is willing to die for their cause, and the impossible "mastery of mortality" which only Jesus did (apparently) however he "showed" it's practical.. oh jesus was the best "word of mouth" advocate there ever was!

      Jesus demonstrated the Faith principle with unwavering belief, feeding the gathering of multitudes..

      His crucifiction wasn't "self torture", however you have to wonder if his prosperity powers being so "attuned" that he could not "foresee" the crucifiction.. as a "psychic event"

      Very intriguing movie!

      Peter!

    42. PeterGHorrill No I haven't seen it.  I usually avoid religious movies because there is so much negative programming.  Glad to hear this one is better.
      -RG

    43. Randy_Gage RG, if you believed Iron Man was a prosperous movie, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised at the Son of God movie. That's my gut feeling. I could be wrong however. Expressing what I believe will be helpful. It's only an opinion. Respect!

    44. PeterGHorrill What is interesting is the Bible is a very good book about prosperity, actually in my opinion the best book on prosperity (Randy_Gage, yours are a close second), one of the biggest lessons on prosperity from the book is that when we start to rely on only what we see around us, we become limited by what we see but when we look to God and rely on Him, and follow the master commandments to love God with all our mind, body and soul and to treat one another as we want to be treated, most of our concerns will melt away.
      Most of the parables that Jesus taught were about treating others with respect and not looking to others for our well being but to rely on God to take care of those needs while we focus on providing value to others with the gifts that God has provided us and we all have great talents that will serve a need of society, we simply (which is very hard) have to uncover those talents and start to use those talents to serve the need of others. Read the "parable of the talents", very insightful into the prosperity principles that have served the earth from the beginning of time.
      As Always, Here's to Your LifetoSuccess,
      God Bless You,
      John Clark http://www.lifetosuccess.com

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