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The First Step to Worthiness

Posted By: Randy GageOctober 27, 2010

Someone wrote me that he suspected he may have worthiness issues.  I don’t suspect so.  I know so.

He wrote that he had a dichotomy of extreme arrogance on one hand with a towering self-esteem, but on the other he has settled for a life of scraps.  He said, “For me, defending the idea of my priceless worth IS a hill to die on - and I think I would defend the idea to the death, but instead of living on that hill, I live on a scrap heap! I'd defend it against any attacker, but I haven't defended it against myself - I have settled for less.”

And that is the issue.  We may think we believe something (like we are worthy), but what do our actions say?

One thing I learned in therapy was that what we say about something is secondary to our actions.  The actions tell the real truth.  Like a lot of us, this person has defended his worthiness against attack from others, but not from the real enemy within - himself.

He is a lot like most people who attend my programs.  He believes he is worthy, but is a little nervous and has some self-doubt. That's okay. When you fight through the fear there is greatness on the other side.

I suggested that he read one of my prosperity books every week for at least two months, build his Prosperity Manifestation Map and write a movie script of his perfect day.  It also helps if you find a prosperous thinking buddy and partner up. If you give yourself positive programming to counteract the fear, you will continue to move forward, get some success, and then build on that success.

Awareness of the issue is the big breakthrough.  I believe once you’ve done that, you’re 80% home.  Which is where I think he is.

So what about YOU?  Where are you at in all this?

-RG

19 comments on “The First Step to Worthiness”

  1. I think I am in the same boat. I think highly of myself but always seem to settle for less. Time to get reading!

  2. I think a big dose of gratitude to start your day goes a long way toward accepting the blessings coming your way! Good stuff Gage! Keep it coming and blessings to you! --Trey

  3. I think a good indicator of one's perceived worthiness and self-image is what they charge for their service or product. Are you expensive or cheap? The flip side is also true. When you buy, do you go for cheap or quality? If I suggested to you to raise your prices 10% right now, what comes up for you? Does the voice inside you say, "yes, I'll do it, I am worth it," or, "I couldn't possibly raise my prices. There's a recession." I may be wrong, however, my guess is that Randy has raised his fees over the last year. It takes a strong self-image based on worthiness to do so. So go raise your prices.

      1. You could be worth the price of a 10K diamond but if people don't have the money to pay for you, they aren't going to buy.

        As for thinking that you are worth more. Just telling yourself you have worth doesn't change the core belief. Facing the truth about who you are, your thoughts, desires, feelings, that is the path to discovering your true worth. People don't feel worthy because they know they have things inside that look "ugly" to others. So they believe that they are not worthy of good things. Start there. Truly knowing who you are is the way to changing how you feel about yourself. Therapy is helpful for that.

    1. You could be worth the price of a 10K diamond but if people don’t have the money to pay for you, they aren’t going to buy.

      As for thinking that you are worth more. Just telling yourself you have worth doesn’t change the core belief. Facing the truth about who you are, your thoughts, desires, feelings, that is the path to discovering your true worth. People don’t feel worthy because they know they have things inside that look “ugly” to others. So they believe that they are not worthy of good things. Start there. Truly knowing who you are is the way to changing how you feel about yourself. Therapy is helpful for that.

  4. I agree that awareness is the biggest key. I can have gratitude and desire and exercise other kinds of good practices, but if I am not aware of my own undoing I will get nowhere. I can also definitely relate to the authors predicament AND am completely grateful to know what it's like on the other side. The other side, though, did not happen by reading books alone. It required that I also do battle with that MF inside that was ripping life from me. Btw...it did not need to be killed, but rather loved, and it has made all the difference in my life.

  5. Great post Randy... I remind myself daily to prospect with the posture of Randy Gage... the people around us can often hold us back... my mother is a raging narcissist who hates it when I do anything that she hasn't done... I recently sent her a letter pointing that out and it was very freeing... now I don't have to listen to her complaints, her me me me act anymore and do what I love to do... maybe send her post cards from foodie events around the world!! ha ha!!

  6. To me, the first step, and maybe the only step, is to remember the truth of who I am: I am a Holy child of God (and so is everyone else). God is my Father and He loves his son. As such, I am worthy and deserving of all good. Not because of anything I do, but because of who I am. It is my divine heritage. When I remember this and think and act from it, all is well.

  7. I have this knowing. It's like I can feel what's coming and almost predict it. And what's coming is infinite abundance, success, love, and living my dream.

    More importantly I AM totally worthy of this and much more. And yes, I can't say that I don't have SOME worthiness issues, but every day in every way I grow better.

    I deserve success, abundance, Joy and love and know they come to me as quickly as I need and can use them. I am GRATEFUL for everything in my Life and through this gratitude and giving I create the vacuum you mention all the time for it to fill my Life up with.

    And guess what? It works!

    Thanks Randy.

  8. WOW, you hit on a big point.......especially as one who has been searching for a full time job for quite awhile and has excellent credentials. The years of former associations, clients, sources not being willing to support your vision, with perhaps opening a door.......and the many hours doing work that is not at all connected to your passion and most important not allowing you to feel meaningful contribution to something.........it can truly wear down your self esteem. As does even the lack, I dare say of money..that especially in a city like New York, has actually fostered losing "friends," as you cannot engage in various activities............loss of money, friends and biggest of all feeling valuable ..........it takes its toll on your self-esteem bigtime

    Doubt and fear come in, even though you KNOW you are not old or can't talk a relevant business talk in your field of passion.........but it is the assumptions made from a resume........age, time out of full time work etc...........that creates blocks......getting someone to see your value and open a door..............and included in that is a good deal of volunteering for causes and even at business events.......where your "volunteer" T shirt has people responding to you in a different manner.........how do you keep your worth up while working towards your vision.......especially when your vision is a profession where your resume does not show years of experience recently in that arena.....??????? And when even rare part time work or free lance here and there has you engaging in work that doesn't allow you to show who you are, its just money????

  9. I truly believe that the majority of people may on some level have the same issues. Often on a very subconscious level that we are not even aware of, but as you mention acted out in our actions.

    It was when I started the process of self analysis many years ago that I started to bring up all the stuff we tend to put away. We go through life on an automatic pilot and at some point we look back and ask, How did I get here?

    I too learned, but only by examining the inner child response that I was not congruent with my conscious desires and it was the inner dialogue that played oh, so softly in the background that was at the wheel steering the course of my life.

    I am forever grateful for all the teachers along the road of my life that have awakened me to a new way of living my life with Joy and excitement.

    I send love and gratitude for the work you do in bringing new light to so many.

  10. About today's subject:

    People say "I" when they talk, but think "THEM" when they talk. The issue isn't if you are worthy or not, the issue is how important other people's opinion is to you. As Mr Gage and Mr Rohn both thought us, words are words, they can be destructive to our mind as they can be the fuel of our philosophy that will take us to the other level, but they both also thought us that without activity words are meaningless. As Master Rohn said, one of the top books we all should have and read is the book of activities from the ancient times.

    If your activity is up there, your philosophy will be at the same path. You will walk the walk and talk the talk. Nothing what other may say or think about you, would matter because you know you do it. Then, the next time you will ask yourself, if you are worthy it will always be followed by: Yeh baby I am.

    Out of topic:

    Saw last night the movie Wall Street Two Money never sleeps which was another virus movie. Rich people are bad and selfish, poor people are spiritual and green. Sad that people can believe that. All this with a movie title with Money in it.

    Being wealthy is truly living, by the way wealth comes always with health and not the word "poor".

  11. Great topic! So often what we say and what we do are two totally different things. Words are only words if there's no action to back them up.

    We say we're worthy but we never move ahead, never do what we need to do to to get where we want to go. We're often the biggest roadblock to our own success!

    All we can do is work through our fears our secret feelings of "unworthyness" What's the worst that can happen, better yet what's the best that can happen?

    Thanks for all you do

  12. I have followed this exact strategy, ever couple of years when I seem to veer off course. I read from your prosperity books, or Catherine Ponder's, make a dream board, and write a script. It's amazing how good for focus that is.

  13. One thing I learned in therapy was that what we say about something is secondary to our actions
    Since I grew up with money and I didn't see my Dad because he worked all the time, I linked having money with no love.
    This is a powerful limiting belief created not to feel pain. Like most limiting beliefs, they are built and protected to avoid greate pain.

  14. Well I'd definitely say that I'm at the awareness stage. I know that I have some worthiness issues because I notice myself doing, saying or thinking things that indicate lack of worth. I have noticed a raging fear inside of me recently though, which I realise is not a good thing. My company got taken over and my job has already changed and will change further. The company has offered me a more interesting job at head office once they figure out where I might fit in. This is good, but I have this fear that they will offer me less money than what I am earning now, (my current salary is quite generous). It's completely irrational given that they have told me that they want me to stay, but I guess a part of me must believe that I'm not worth it. Ouch!

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  • 19 comments on “The First Step to Worthiness”

    1. I think I am in the same boat. I think highly of myself but always seem to settle for less. Time to get reading!

    2. I think a big dose of gratitude to start your day goes a long way toward accepting the blessings coming your way! Good stuff Gage! Keep it coming and blessings to you! --Trey

    3. I think a good indicator of one's perceived worthiness and self-image is what they charge for their service or product. Are you expensive or cheap? The flip side is also true. When you buy, do you go for cheap or quality? If I suggested to you to raise your prices 10% right now, what comes up for you? Does the voice inside you say, "yes, I'll do it, I am worth it," or, "I couldn't possibly raise my prices. There's a recession." I may be wrong, however, my guess is that Randy has raised his fees over the last year. It takes a strong self-image based on worthiness to do so. So go raise your prices.

        1. You could be worth the price of a 10K diamond but if people don't have the money to pay for you, they aren't going to buy.

          As for thinking that you are worth more. Just telling yourself you have worth doesn't change the core belief. Facing the truth about who you are, your thoughts, desires, feelings, that is the path to discovering your true worth. People don't feel worthy because they know they have things inside that look "ugly" to others. So they believe that they are not worthy of good things. Start there. Truly knowing who you are is the way to changing how you feel about yourself. Therapy is helpful for that.

      1. You could be worth the price of a 10K diamond but if people don’t have the money to pay for you, they aren’t going to buy.

        As for thinking that you are worth more. Just telling yourself you have worth doesn’t change the core belief. Facing the truth about who you are, your thoughts, desires, feelings, that is the path to discovering your true worth. People don’t feel worthy because they know they have things inside that look “ugly” to others. So they believe that they are not worthy of good things. Start there. Truly knowing who you are is the way to changing how you feel about yourself. Therapy is helpful for that.

    4. I agree that awareness is the biggest key. I can have gratitude and desire and exercise other kinds of good practices, but if I am not aware of my own undoing I will get nowhere. I can also definitely relate to the authors predicament AND am completely grateful to know what it's like on the other side. The other side, though, did not happen by reading books alone. It required that I also do battle with that MF inside that was ripping life from me. Btw...it did not need to be killed, but rather loved, and it has made all the difference in my life.

    5. Great post Randy... I remind myself daily to prospect with the posture of Randy Gage... the people around us can often hold us back... my mother is a raging narcissist who hates it when I do anything that she hasn't done... I recently sent her a letter pointing that out and it was very freeing... now I don't have to listen to her complaints, her me me me act anymore and do what I love to do... maybe send her post cards from foodie events around the world!! ha ha!!

    6. To me, the first step, and maybe the only step, is to remember the truth of who I am: I am a Holy child of God (and so is everyone else). God is my Father and He loves his son. As such, I am worthy and deserving of all good. Not because of anything I do, but because of who I am. It is my divine heritage. When I remember this and think and act from it, all is well.

    7. I have this knowing. It's like I can feel what's coming and almost predict it. And what's coming is infinite abundance, success, love, and living my dream.

      More importantly I AM totally worthy of this and much more. And yes, I can't say that I don't have SOME worthiness issues, but every day in every way I grow better.

      I deserve success, abundance, Joy and love and know they come to me as quickly as I need and can use them. I am GRATEFUL for everything in my Life and through this gratitude and giving I create the vacuum you mention all the time for it to fill my Life up with.

      And guess what? It works!

      Thanks Randy.

    8. WOW, you hit on a big point.......especially as one who has been searching for a full time job for quite awhile and has excellent credentials. The years of former associations, clients, sources not being willing to support your vision, with perhaps opening a door.......and the many hours doing work that is not at all connected to your passion and most important not allowing you to feel meaningful contribution to something.........it can truly wear down your self esteem. As does even the lack, I dare say of money..that especially in a city like New York, has actually fostered losing "friends," as you cannot engage in various activities............loss of money, friends and biggest of all feeling valuable ..........it takes its toll on your self-esteem bigtime

      Doubt and fear come in, even though you KNOW you are not old or can't talk a relevant business talk in your field of passion.........but it is the assumptions made from a resume........age, time out of full time work etc...........that creates blocks......getting someone to see your value and open a door..............and included in that is a good deal of volunteering for causes and even at business events.......where your "volunteer" T shirt has people responding to you in a different manner.........how do you keep your worth up while working towards your vision.......especially when your vision is a profession where your resume does not show years of experience recently in that arena.....??????? And when even rare part time work or free lance here and there has you engaging in work that doesn't allow you to show who you are, its just money????

    9. I truly believe that the majority of people may on some level have the same issues. Often on a very subconscious level that we are not even aware of, but as you mention acted out in our actions.

      It was when I started the process of self analysis many years ago that I started to bring up all the stuff we tend to put away. We go through life on an automatic pilot and at some point we look back and ask, How did I get here?

      I too learned, but only by examining the inner child response that I was not congruent with my conscious desires and it was the inner dialogue that played oh, so softly in the background that was at the wheel steering the course of my life.

      I am forever grateful for all the teachers along the road of my life that have awakened me to a new way of living my life with Joy and excitement.

      I send love and gratitude for the work you do in bringing new light to so many.

    10. About today's subject:

      People say "I" when they talk, but think "THEM" when they talk. The issue isn't if you are worthy or not, the issue is how important other people's opinion is to you. As Mr Gage and Mr Rohn both thought us, words are words, they can be destructive to our mind as they can be the fuel of our philosophy that will take us to the other level, but they both also thought us that without activity words are meaningless. As Master Rohn said, one of the top books we all should have and read is the book of activities from the ancient times.

      If your activity is up there, your philosophy will be at the same path. You will walk the walk and talk the talk. Nothing what other may say or think about you, would matter because you know you do it. Then, the next time you will ask yourself, if you are worthy it will always be followed by: Yeh baby I am.

      Out of topic:

      Saw last night the movie Wall Street Two Money never sleeps which was another virus movie. Rich people are bad and selfish, poor people are spiritual and green. Sad that people can believe that. All this with a movie title with Money in it.

      Being wealthy is truly living, by the way wealth comes always with health and not the word "poor".

    11. Great topic! So often what we say and what we do are two totally different things. Words are only words if there's no action to back them up.

      We say we're worthy but we never move ahead, never do what we need to do to to get where we want to go. We're often the biggest roadblock to our own success!

      All we can do is work through our fears our secret feelings of "unworthyness" What's the worst that can happen, better yet what's the best that can happen?

      Thanks for all you do

    12. I have followed this exact strategy, ever couple of years when I seem to veer off course. I read from your prosperity books, or Catherine Ponder's, make a dream board, and write a script. It's amazing how good for focus that is.

    13. One thing I learned in therapy was that what we say about something is secondary to our actions
      Since I grew up with money and I didn't see my Dad because he worked all the time, I linked having money with no love.
      This is a powerful limiting belief created not to feel pain. Like most limiting beliefs, they are built and protected to avoid greate pain.

    14. Well I'd definitely say that I'm at the awareness stage. I know that I have some worthiness issues because I notice myself doing, saying or thinking things that indicate lack of worth. I have noticed a raging fear inside of me recently though, which I realise is not a good thing. My company got taken over and my job has already changed and will change further. The company has offered me a more interesting job at head office once they figure out where I might fit in. This is good, but I have this fear that they will offer me less money than what I am earning now, (my current salary is quite generous). It's completely irrational given that they have told me that they want me to stay, but I guess a part of me must believe that I'm not worth it. Ouch!

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