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The Fake Breakthroughs

Posted By: Randy GageOctober 13, 2009

Last post I told you that everyone has breakthroughs.  Only for most people, they are simply illusionary breakthroughs they placate themselves with.  False breakthroughs which are simply their crazy mind, tricking themselves that they have made a real change.  

Some examples of this are:

* The addict that says they are quitting drugs, because they increase the length of time between getting high episodes.  (Been there.)

* The drunk who believes because they only drink during meals or “socially,” they’re not an alcoholic.  (Been there.)

* The smoker who says he or she is quitting, because they cut down a little.  (Only did that 50 times.)

* The person who gets out of their dysfunctional marriage – then immediately replaces their spouse on the rebound with a carbon copy.  (I only did this 13 times.)

* The overweight or binge eater who convinces themselves that they are making progress because they keep re-losing the same 10 pounds of water weight and scale fluctuation, but never really getting to the other 30 pounds too much they are carrying.   (Thank God there’s one of these I haven’t done!)

Anyway, give all this some thought, because there’s one more angle to explore here.  I’ve been in Sydney the last couple days.  The next stop is Jakarta, Indonesia.  I’ll check in from there and we’ll continue the discussion.
-RG

18 comments on “The Fake Breakthroughs”

  1. Addications are so hard to break sometimes. I don't have many vices (anymore) although would love to give up alcohol all together. But then sometimes I just fancy a chilled glass of Rose wine and think 'what the heck..'

    Is it so bad? Well yes I know you'd say its a glass of rancid grapes. I keep trying to think about that in my quest for virtuous living LOL.

    Hope you're having a fun time.

  2. Well Randy,
    Looks like some people need to get hit in the head more than a few times, and we still may not learn the most important facets of life. Ourselves!

    Wow, recently. I am hearing so many awesome stories about themselves, and thanks for sharing!!!

    It appears we all have unique stories of our lives.

  3. RG,

    I like reading when teachers have had adversity too. Makes me feel, if they can do it, I can do it. Thanks for sharing and opening yourself up to your students, readers and online friends.

    Also, Sydney is one of my favourite cities in the world. I lived there for a year, a long time ago, AND my favourite restaurant is still there. If you get a chance, go to Philip's Foote in The Rocks. ENJOY!

    -CW

  4. Great examples.

    The dysfunctional marriage mistake was one that I fell into once, before I said, 'Boy, this feels familiar.' Thankfully, it didn't go too far and am happier on my own.

    For many, MANY others, it's the subtle actions and lies we tell ourselves that we might not consider addictions, but can have just as destructive results in our lives.

    Some of the addictions I've 'enjoyed' have been...

    The addiction to negative thinking
    The addiction to being the victim
    The addiction to drama (talk about an endorphine rush)
    The addiction to blame, shame, and manipulation tactics (is this part of the victim mentality?)

    Letting go of these can be tough, because they are comfortable thinking. People can become comfortable in their uncomfort. It's familiar territory. Thus the 'lies' we tell ourselves and others.

    Keep it coming, brother. I appreciate you, Randy. Safe travels.

    In Gratitude,

    Jhanna Dawson

  5. Yeah, well... sometimes when we fall, we gotta get back up on the horse, right?

    I think we can still call it a breakthrough, because you never know if it's permanent until your deathbed. The guy who replaces his cheating, spendthrift, manipulative wife with another one makes a breakthrough about the first woman, but not the next.

    Randy, I doubt that you will, but if you slid back to drugs or alcohol, would that erase your previous breakthroughs?

  6. Randy:

    As I examine my mind for negative programming, I heard sentences:"I am not good enough." "I don't have the whole picture". "I will fail". "It is too hard". "The whole thing will collapsed." "Everyone will quit". "It will take me too long."
    There is a feeling of anxiety and fear of the unknown.
    I am with you. Let's find the core belief and emotion holding me from building a succesful network.
    I have the feeling that the core belief and emotion is UNWORTHINGNESS.

  7. Hi Randy.
    I read you have a prosperity group. Sounds great!.
    I wish and plan to create and manage one, but i dont know how.
    Can you explain me or lead me to some readings to achieve that?
    Thanks.

    Renzo.

  8. First, thanks Rachel for your kind support today.
    I am back home and safe.
    And yes it could be easy to give up alcohol altogether.
    May I suggest that you plan for something else in your life that is exhilarating ! and DECIDE. I did that 3 years ago, with the lure that it may help with my migraine..( the plan was to last 1 year).well, it did not help with the headache, but it made the decision very easy at the restaurant and at parties, whether or not I should have something alcoholic !...don't miss it a second.
    But then again, you don't need to be so categoric: after all there are many medical sites that advocate 1 unit a day as anti-oxidants....now, you may have another source of anti-oxidants somewhere?...

  9. Fascinating question Bones. I don't think so. For alcohol, I've been sober for 30 years. So that's 30 years of better health, relationships, esteem, etc. The danger would be if I lapse (like I did many times with other drugs) that I saw to myself, "well I was clean for a week, that's good" and see that as a breakthrough when I haven't made the real break.

    -RG

  10. Sometimes people need serious pain in order to effect permanent change, but when they get it, they really GET IT.

    Thanks for all your inspiration, Randy.

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  • 18 comments on “The Fake Breakthroughs”

    1. Addications are so hard to break sometimes. I don't have many vices (anymore) although would love to give up alcohol all together. But then sometimes I just fancy a chilled glass of Rose wine and think 'what the heck..'

      Is it so bad? Well yes I know you'd say its a glass of rancid grapes. I keep trying to think about that in my quest for virtuous living LOL.

      Hope you're having a fun time.

    2. Well Randy,
      Looks like some people need to get hit in the head more than a few times, and we still may not learn the most important facets of life. Ourselves!

      Wow, recently. I am hearing so many awesome stories about themselves, and thanks for sharing!!!

      It appears we all have unique stories of our lives.

    3. RG,

      I like reading when teachers have had adversity too. Makes me feel, if they can do it, I can do it. Thanks for sharing and opening yourself up to your students, readers and online friends.

      Also, Sydney is one of my favourite cities in the world. I lived there for a year, a long time ago, AND my favourite restaurant is still there. If you get a chance, go to Philip's Foote in The Rocks. ENJOY!

      -CW

    4. Great examples.

      The dysfunctional marriage mistake was one that I fell into once, before I said, 'Boy, this feels familiar.' Thankfully, it didn't go too far and am happier on my own.

      For many, MANY others, it's the subtle actions and lies we tell ourselves that we might not consider addictions, but can have just as destructive results in our lives.

      Some of the addictions I've 'enjoyed' have been...

      The addiction to negative thinking
      The addiction to being the victim
      The addiction to drama (talk about an endorphine rush)
      The addiction to blame, shame, and manipulation tactics (is this part of the victim mentality?)

      Letting go of these can be tough, because they are comfortable thinking. People can become comfortable in their uncomfort. It's familiar territory. Thus the 'lies' we tell ourselves and others.

      Keep it coming, brother. I appreciate you, Randy. Safe travels.

      In Gratitude,

      Jhanna Dawson

    5. Yeah, well... sometimes when we fall, we gotta get back up on the horse, right?

      I think we can still call it a breakthrough, because you never know if it's permanent until your deathbed. The guy who replaces his cheating, spendthrift, manipulative wife with another one makes a breakthrough about the first woman, but not the next.

      Randy, I doubt that you will, but if you slid back to drugs or alcohol, would that erase your previous breakthroughs?

    6. Randy:

      As I examine my mind for negative programming, I heard sentences:"I am not good enough." "I don't have the whole picture". "I will fail". "It is too hard". "The whole thing will collapsed." "Everyone will quit". "It will take me too long."
      There is a feeling of anxiety and fear of the unknown.
      I am with you. Let's find the core belief and emotion holding me from building a succesful network.
      I have the feeling that the core belief and emotion is UNWORTHINGNESS.

    7. Hi Randy.
      I read you have a prosperity group. Sounds great!.
      I wish and plan to create and manage one, but i dont know how.
      Can you explain me or lead me to some readings to achieve that?
      Thanks.

      Renzo.

    8. First, thanks Rachel for your kind support today.
      I am back home and safe.
      And yes it could be easy to give up alcohol altogether.
      May I suggest that you plan for something else in your life that is exhilarating ! and DECIDE. I did that 3 years ago, with the lure that it may help with my migraine..( the plan was to last 1 year).well, it did not help with the headache, but it made the decision very easy at the restaurant and at parties, whether or not I should have something alcoholic !...don't miss it a second.
      But then again, you don't need to be so categoric: after all there are many medical sites that advocate 1 unit a day as anti-oxidants....now, you may have another source of anti-oxidants somewhere?...

    9. Fascinating question Bones. I don't think so. For alcohol, I've been sober for 30 years. So that's 30 years of better health, relationships, esteem, etc. The danger would be if I lapse (like I did many times with other drugs) that I saw to myself, "well I was clean for a week, that's good" and see that as a breakthrough when I haven't made the real break.

      -RG

    10. Sometimes people need serious pain in order to effect permanent change, but when they get it, they really GET IT.

      Thanks for all your inspiration, Randy.

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