Success & Prosperity Blog

The Biggest Breakthrough

By Randy Gage in Critical Thinking, Success, Prosperity.

You know when my biggest prosperity, relationship, health and happiness breakthrough came?  When I asked myself the fateful question…

In all my dysfunctional relationships, health challenges, and business failures – was there one person, always at the scene of the crime?

Before you can even see the necessity for self-government, you must first throw off the great delusion:  That your problems are the result of the people around you.

In actuality, the people around you are the result of your problems.

Care to debate?



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40 thoughts on “The Biggest Breakthrough

  1. Alyson says:

    It is all about choices huh!
    And, being responsible for those choices you make, everyone of them.

  2. Jared says:


    I completely agree! The counter-intuitive always seems to be the answer to questions about life. We are in control, we can right or change the direction of our ship.


  3. Lucinda Roses says:

    Hi Randy,

    I remember you discussing this before. We are always in need of reminders, especially when we are dealing with self truths.
    Thanks for all you do Randy!

    Love ya,

  4. CM says:

    This is a true Randyism, a classic, one that I refer to regularly to self-check as well as give others a reality check. Thanks for again sharing and reminding!

  5. CM says:

    This is a true Randyism, a classic, one that I refer to regularly to self-check as well as give others a reality check. Thanks for again sharing and reminding!

  6. CM says:

    This is a true Randyism, a classic, one that I refer to regularly to self-check as well as give others a reality check. Thanks for again sharing and reminding!

  7. CM says:

    This is a true Randyism, a classic, one that I refer to regularly to self-check as well as give others a reality check. Thanks for again sharing and reminding!

  8. CM says:

    This is a true Randyism, a classic, one that I refer to regularly to self-check as well as give others a reality check. Thanks for again sharing and reminding!

  9. Tony Talley says:

    One must learn to master and control their environment or it will control you. Like anything, it takes practice. I see you have had substantial practice and perform this task quite well Randy.

  10. Hi Randy,

    Look within, the outside changes.

    Look without, you get more of the same. It’s why many people appear to be living like Bill Murray’s character in Groundhog Day.

    Same ish, different day. Because they keep seeing the same ish, over and over, blaming everything on the outside instead of looking within to make the change.

    Thanks for sharing!


  11. Carmen says:

    I would phrase it differently. The people around us are the cause of some of our problems, but only because our thoughts have attracted them to us.

  12. Trevor Baret says:

    Hi Randy,

    You have given this reminder before, and it is still true.

    Whenever I look at the problems in my life, there is ALWAYS one person common to all… (and it ain’t the other guy…)

    Good reminder to look in the mirror on a regular basis (and not in a vain way).


  13. Todd says:

    No argument …

  14. Gabsuarez says:

    Yes! I think the issue is to keep faith in this till you raely know this and see this in you.

  15. John Riley says:

    reminds me of a book on meditation that I had read once…”wherever you go, there you are.”

  16. Terri Murphy says:

    Of course the answer is yourself. But that doesn’t help redirect what you can do the next time to avoid the same outcomes. Are we bound by our limited thinking? Our less than productive habits? There are a zillion self help books, meditation, shrinks, coaches etc…can any of them really help? Now there is a question for your Randy!

    Keep em coming!

    Terri Murphy (Hutson)

    1. Randy Gage says:

      Yes Terri, of course they can. Sure do for me, because it’s all about building mental habits.


  17. Terre Johnson says:

    I knew that guy looked familiar! And as much as I have tried to ignore the signs, it is painfully obvious the ring around the roses was me and my dysfunctional line up. Interestingly enough the pain ceased when I stopped banging my head on the wall.

  18. David says:

    Ouch… it hurts!

  19. Dorothy says:

    Oh M Gee! Thanks for that one! 🙂

  20. Hilary says:

    We think in secret, and it comes to pass. Our environment is but our looking glass.

    James Allen (1864 – 1912)

  21. Anonymous says:

    What about parents? Into this world we’re thrown. How did we attract them? Did we? Did we choose and we just don’t remember?

    Not saying we can blame them, but whoa I am sure I did not ask for that drama at age three.

    I was standing there in the middle of all that chaos at age three, but I don’t think it was the result of my playing dress up with my mother’s shoes.

    1. David says:

      God Bless. Many children went through (and go through) unnecessary drama. Your on the right path!

  22. Sean says:

    Randy, I agree in the most grand of fashions! And it was actually reading your book a few years back that presented the idea of taking 100% responsibility for EVERYTHING, the good and the incredibly crappy, in your life. It was a challenge at first, but to be honest, when I had the realization that 100% responsibility equalled 100% empowerment and control over my life, that rather than it being a burden of self blame, it was the key to personal liberation, I got hooked! What’s fantastic is, as this concept of self responsibility has become habit, it’s no longer a challenge, it’s a relief (if things are mess, it’s real simple, what the hell did I do? lol)…it’s become my normal state…and it permeates every aspect of my life…and the changes…whew brother! It has changed my life so massively that I am hardly recognizable to myself or the people around me…and that’s a good thing! Much, much, gratitude and love for all your time and care.


  23. Randy:
    Good food for thought today!

  24. Mary-Ellen says:

    Not sure I want to debate this. I think the key word that puts me in agreement with you is RESULT. My Dad’s saying comes to mind that may sound harsh but true,”If you hang around with dogs, you are going to catch flees.” I can not think of one exception, in my life, where I chose to bring someone or something, into my life, that was a energy sucker, where I didn’t get some form of a negative sponge bath. We get the result WE expose ourselves to. I would agree that this one observation, looking in the mirror, instead of pointing the finger, is huge, and does change your life profoundly.

  25. Carol Morgan says:

    Wherever we go, we are! I so agree with your article.

  26. kash money says:

    Randy I think this idea of us manufacturing the faces around us is a bit insane and is preventing me from forming meaningful relationships. Each time I meet someone new I wonder if they’re even real. This is particularly stressful in the case of romantic partnering. I wonder, “who is this, is this my shadow, am I manufacturing this, what lessons can I learn from this, etc” and it’s really getting in the way of really living and I feel like I can’t stop it.

  27. Jonathan says:

    Are you suggesting that the hiccups we have with others in our life has something to do with us as an individual? I mean, THEY chose us to have a relationship with, so it’s their fault…


    Werner Ehrad called this “The Common Denominator”. All you have to do is look at any situation in life and notice who was present to learn whose also at fault. I love how people go on rants about their spouse, partner or companion thinking that they aren’t involved..

  28. Clear of one thing: I am present in the good, the bad and the ugly, so regardless of the people there, I was there…so anyone with me is a result of my choices so the problem starts and ends with me…until i don’t change, the people around me won’t either.

  29. I recently came to the same conclusion and it is really freeing. I was talking to my sister about various problems I’ve had over the years, then it hit me, the one common denominator in all of them was me.

  30. Matt says:

    Love it Randy! One of your best! I needed that reality check

  31. Edward Devero says:

    I could not debate this issue at all. Who you choose to be around with is a direct reflection of your own mental well being.

  32. Does this mean that the universe is placing me under arrest?

  33. Hey Randy,
    Seldom to we actually take accountability for our problems. It’s easier to blame someone outside of us.

    This type of thinking is also the reason that we feel powerless.

  34. Not really! It is EXACTLY so. YOU are all you have control of, too. So not much use in seeing others’ contribution to the state of affairs. You can always change what YOU do, think, interpret…

  35. Atle says:

    Hi Randy

    I have followed you and your prosperity education for many years now. And i really need to say that this is one of your best statements…EVER.
    This is so through and i think many people are “afraid” to take these words seriously;)

    But anyway…i love them and it is prosperity for me. Thank you very much.

    Atle – Norway

  36. Mike Shippey says:

    The man in the glass!


  37. Kathleen Caldwell says:

    All I can say is AMEN!

  38. People are encouraged by unscrupulous businesses and the government, and even religion to not think, because someone else will think and do everything for you.

    It keeps people in harmful situations which they do not love, so they can get their fix; whatever that may be.

    It’s very easy to blame family, people in your life, the economy, etc, especially when we don’t choose who are parents are, or some of the circumstances we encounter.

    I was 26 (29, going on 30 now) when I started to notice that my life had gone incredibly wrong.

    Many people I knew were far more successful than I was, and I knew it wasn’t always a question of knowing the right people or being born to rich parents.

    For a long time, I blamed my parents for everything.

    It was very easy- they were often abusive and neglectful, lacked compassion for others, passive, and expected that someone else was obligated to meet their wants and needs.

    I spent a lot of time around people who accepted that being a victim was OK. It felt like I was receiving the support that had been lacking in my life.

    I had accepted many horrible beliefs as fact:

    Good things happened only to other people, and I had been dealt a bad hand in the poker game of life.

    Good fortune eluded me.

    I accepted it was OK to be unhealthy and constantly struggling. I was almost completely denying who I was at the core.

    I believed that I deserved to be mistreated by others, as if God himself had intended it.

    But, you reach a point where you can only blame yourself.

    For me, it was realizing at 26 years of age, after I noticed the relationship I involved inpart of echoed my own parent’s marriage.

    I had enough, and I began to change the toxic aspects of my life.

    I began to teach myself entrepreneurial skills, and reconnect with my love of music.

    I have stumbled and made many more mistakes since then, and will continue to do so.

    It has only been over the past year, that I have begun to contact with people who genuinely value creating something- be it a new business or product or a work of art.

    There is still a lot of growth I need to do.

    There are times when I wonder if it is too late to succeed at my passion for music, and if it is, I will ensure that those who are willing to learn, learn from my decision at a young age to listen to toxic, passive people, and do not repeat it themselves.


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