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Surrounding Yourself with Amazing People…

Posted By: Randy GageMarch 8, 2018

Yesterday we explored how people live in fantasy states and prevent themselves from creating prosperous relationships around them.  So once you accept reality – how do you attract people around you who have your highest good in mind, and are actually able to help you become a better person?  (And you, them?)

You can’t present facades.  You have got to allow yourself to be vulnerable.  You can’t maintain the “social media you” with the real friends in your life.  And you have to be courageous enough to ask for help.

When I was in the throes of my crystal meth addiction, I don’t think anyone close to me was aware of it.  Like the vast majority of addicts, I was a functioning one.  I was maintaining my social media facade, and it almost killed me.

You saw the Oscars last week?  Not one of those winners for best actors could hold a candle to an addict.  Why?  Because we are acting for our lives.  (Or at least that’s what we believe.  In truth, we’re really acting for our deaths.)

You have to find at least a couple people you trust, that you can be vulnerable with.  People you don’t try and impress with the silly facades society seems to relish, but people who are impressed with you, just because you’re you.

They know you’re not perfect, and that’s why they love you.  And you love them.  Here’s the ironic thing…

Once you give up the need for approval and show your authentic self, people accept you unconditionally.  And that’s the ultimate approval.

The friends you can’t admit your weaknesses to, aren’t really friends at all.  If you don’t have real friends, find them.  A few tips:

  • Set the intention.
  • Be willing to be vulnerable.
  • Don’t be needy.
  • Be a friend yourself
  • Find ways you can challenge each other in positive ways.
  • Drop the bullshit facades and just be real.

What about you?  Got any tips you’d add?  Please share them below.  (Also, you know I'm back posting here again daily, but everyone else doesn't.  So can you please use the share buttons above and spread the word?)

-RG

13 comments on “Surrounding Yourself with Amazing People…”

  1. As soon as you start to be authentic, you recognize what the unreal is in other people, the way they behave seems like they have something to hide. Could there be a good relationship with somebody who is not really open?

    1. Great post Randy...and of course the first and most important relationship is w/ yourself. Vulnerability is doing truth w/ you first... that then opens the door to let others in. 🙂
      Appreciate you and your wisdom!

  2. The best I´ve read this year.

    I remembered one time in the past (around 30 years ago) when I begun in my firs work as engineer.

    I always had had the skill to model the people I really admire. In that time, I Modeled my boss, who was also my teacher in the University and today a very special friend (like a father in my profession). I Modeled him so close exactly to him. For example: I got the same voice tone of him. I got the same writer style of him. I COULD DO THE EXACTLY the SIGN of him. And obviously was a very good employ in his company.

    UNTIL ONE DAY, the secretary who was a special lady who brings to me much love, call me to her space and tell me: " You don´t need that. You are a very special person and You just can be YOU... I don´t feel very good in that moment. I was so young in that moment and didn´t know anything about self development. But that moment really changed many things in my life. Because I discovered I AM AN UNIQUE PERSON.

    Since that moment I decided to be myself and started to change about me. However, until some time ago I have been acting in my life, sometimes trying to look for the person I really didn´t really want to be.

    I also remember the times when I met new people and new friends. And being honestly, one of the thins I thought each of that times was: How this guy could help me? How this guy could support me to achieve my goals? (That really was not so honestly friendship). And many times I asked myself: WHY MY CIRCLE OF SPCIAL PEOPLE DON´T GROW AROUND ME?

    When I really stopped to act and become to be a real person?

    The day I discovered WHATA and WHY I am here in this world: To Serve and to Add value to the people I can influence on, through my skills, my talents and the things I love to do. THAT DAY, BEGUN MY REALLY BREAK POINT IN MY LIFE.

    So one of the things I add to your list is. Work on discover What and Why are we here in this world?

    I´m totally agree about we need to have at least two people to help us in that way. And I´m very proud the 2 that I have (I think you know them very deeply).

    Great to show You guys some points of my life. I´m still on the road. I always will stay on the road. Learning on how to become each day a better person.

    Love this post friend.

    From Cali, Colombia,

    -GJ

    PD: Excuse me for any mistake with my english words and grammar. Try to do my best with my other language. jejeje

  3. Just curious, how bad was your meth addiction? You see those horror pics in anti-meth ads and ex addicts looking like hell, scare me off, always been terrified of the stuff and I like to get a buzz.. just not too much.. Cheers,

    David

  4. Here are some other tips as what not to be like as a friend (unfortunately, most people fall into at least one of these categories):

    1. Moocher - Don't always be borrowing money from people and never paying them back. I have a few friends who never seem to have the money to pay back the people they have borrowed money from, but they always have money for beer and weed.

    2. Drama Queen - Don't always be bitching and moaning; and no one can stand someone who is constantly talking about his or her misfortune, medical ailments, etc., but never seems concerned about other people's problems (in other words, stop acting as if you are the center of the universe)

    3. Flake - No one likes someone who constantly states they're going to do something and never follows through. A person is only as good as his or her word. If your word is shit... Well, you get the idea.

  5. Believe me, had no interest in it.. just wondered how you didn't wind up a bad teeth, scabby guy if you were really hooked?? Or is that hype?

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  • 13 comments on “Surrounding Yourself with Amazing People…”

    1. As soon as you start to be authentic, you recognize what the unreal is in other people, the way they behave seems like they have something to hide. Could there be a good relationship with somebody who is not really open?

      1. Great post Randy...and of course the first and most important relationship is w/ yourself. Vulnerability is doing truth w/ you first... that then opens the door to let others in. 🙂
        Appreciate you and your wisdom!

    2. The best I´ve read this year.

      I remembered one time in the past (around 30 years ago) when I begun in my firs work as engineer.

      I always had had the skill to model the people I really admire. In that time, I Modeled my boss, who was also my teacher in the University and today a very special friend (like a father in my profession). I Modeled him so close exactly to him. For example: I got the same voice tone of him. I got the same writer style of him. I COULD DO THE EXACTLY the SIGN of him. And obviously was a very good employ in his company.

      UNTIL ONE DAY, the secretary who was a special lady who brings to me much love, call me to her space and tell me: " You don´t need that. You are a very special person and You just can be YOU... I don´t feel very good in that moment. I was so young in that moment and didn´t know anything about self development. But that moment really changed many things in my life. Because I discovered I AM AN UNIQUE PERSON.

      Since that moment I decided to be myself and started to change about me. However, until some time ago I have been acting in my life, sometimes trying to look for the person I really didn´t really want to be.

      I also remember the times when I met new people and new friends. And being honestly, one of the thins I thought each of that times was: How this guy could help me? How this guy could support me to achieve my goals? (That really was not so honestly friendship). And many times I asked myself: WHY MY CIRCLE OF SPCIAL PEOPLE DON´T GROW AROUND ME?

      When I really stopped to act and become to be a real person?

      The day I discovered WHATA and WHY I am here in this world: To Serve and to Add value to the people I can influence on, through my skills, my talents and the things I love to do. THAT DAY, BEGUN MY REALLY BREAK POINT IN MY LIFE.

      So one of the things I add to your list is. Work on discover What and Why are we here in this world?

      I´m totally agree about we need to have at least two people to help us in that way. And I´m very proud the 2 that I have (I think you know them very deeply).

      Great to show You guys some points of my life. I´m still on the road. I always will stay on the road. Learning on how to become each day a better person.

      Love this post friend.

      From Cali, Colombia,

      -GJ

      PD: Excuse me for any mistake with my english words and grammar. Try to do my best with my other language. jejeje

    3. Just curious, how bad was your meth addiction? You see those horror pics in anti-meth ads and ex addicts looking like hell, scare me off, always been terrified of the stuff and I like to get a buzz.. just not too much.. Cheers,

      David

    4. Here are some other tips as what not to be like as a friend (unfortunately, most people fall into at least one of these categories):

      1. Moocher - Don't always be borrowing money from people and never paying them back. I have a few friends who never seem to have the money to pay back the people they have borrowed money from, but they always have money for beer and weed.

      2. Drama Queen - Don't always be bitching and moaning; and no one can stand someone who is constantly talking about his or her misfortune, medical ailments, etc., but never seems concerned about other people's problems (in other words, stop acting as if you are the center of the universe)

      3. Flake - No one likes someone who constantly states they're going to do something and never follows through. A person is only as good as his or her word. If your word is shit... Well, you get the idea.

    5. Believe me, had no interest in it.. just wondered how you didn't wind up a bad teeth, scabby guy if you were really hooked?? Or is that hype?

    Leave a Reply to Randy Gage Cancel reply

    Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


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