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So What Are You Choosing?

Posted By: Randy GageMay 14, 2009

Yes you can penalize the waiter on the tip because he didn’t bring the extra mayo he promised.  You can sigh loudly because the lady in front of you at the supermarket seems to think taking out her checkbook and ID is a five-minute task.

You can blast your horn because the guy in the other car cut in too close to you.  You can stay mad an extra hour or two, to really make your spouse pay for their mistake.

Or not.  So what are you choosing?

-RG

22 comments on “So What Are You Choosing?”

  1. I choose patience and understanding, caring and respect. I may not be able to show it at all times as I am only human. Sometimes emotions will get the better of me, but if I had the time to think before reacting I would choose not to let emotions control my actions.

    Shannon

  2. I try to put myself in their shoes..everyone has a bad day once in a while. The only person you are hurting by having a bad attitude is yourself. Respond...don't react. Life is to short.

  3. Your choosing to react in a more positive way with love and understanding and by so doing you can keep on a beeter, more productive path where life is good. We choose how we experience it.

  4. I learned years ago that just because I was impatient most other folks weren't. If I'm just calm and reasonable most people will eventually become calm and reasonable too. Then progress gets made.

  5. Choosing to have patience and an easygoing attitude is terrific. However, it's even better to have that attitude be habitual. (The great thing about a habit is that there's no decision-making involved.)

    The truly patient don't choose to be understanding and accommodating --- it's a habit, so they just do it automatically.
    -jim

  6. -RG,

    Not! Energy is life's currency, I'm not spending mine on uncontrollable situations that will rob me of my time and energy.

    -DJM

  7. These are all great lessons.. And as you've said often it's being AWARE of your thoughts and making a conscious effort to change them that will result in realizing the Life you Love.

    I'm a human being and am prone towards making mistakes. But every TIME I do and catch myself, I'm also prone towards slowly eliminating them, having more patience, showing my gratitude and being at Peace.

    It's posts like the ones you've been making over the past weeks that make a difference and for this, I am truly grateful.

    Thanks Randy!

  8. From time to time, RE-ACTION seems like the good way to go.
    But I always conclude that PRO-ACTION is the best way...

    Being aware at all times and know in advance how you would respond to your life's events means you're prepared for it.

    It's all part of who you are and what you have become so far.

    Cheers,
    Adrian Bolosin

  9. I choose to be patient. I choose to be calm even in terrible situations.
    I choose the understanding that people are different and therefore preferences will differ. I therefore do not have to hurt myself because of what others are doing or not doing.
    In traffic situations, especially in my part of the world, you can actually go nuts if you do not choose to be calm.

  10. I choose to allow folks to follow their path, as I follow mine. In the examples given above, our paths barely cross. Pay attention, there's a lesson there.

    I know that this beautiful dance of life plays out exactly as it's supposed to, and that everything works. My path is peace, love, acceptance, guidance, compassion all wrapped up in the music of life.

  11. Hi Randy,

    Excellent point. We all have a brief moment where we can choose our reaction. We can either choose to be happy, or let small annoyances get the best of us and ruin our mood.

    One great way to combat this is to thing of the worst possible outcome of the inconvenience you're faced with and ask yourself if it would really be that bad and if it's worth getting worked up over. In most cases, it's probably not.

    Another one is to find something positive from the inconvenience. If Viktor Frankl could do this in Nazi concentration camps, then we certainly can with our trivial daily inconveniences.

    However, there's one common annoyance that I simply can't get past without it annoying me, and that's when people smoke around me. Maybe I should start telling smokers what they're doing to themselves (and me), and perhaps they'll either make a change, or at least move away from me. 🙂

  12. I have to admit that at times I choose confrontation. We had a waitress in a very nice restaurant disappear for 30 minutes after
    bringing us our dessert. We missed a show because of this and we had informed this waitress at the start that we were on a schedule. TIPS originally were introduced "To Insure Prompt Service." And we understand that the wait staff is essentially working for tips but when this waitress returned to our table and I asked where she had been her reply was "was I gone that long?" So I figured out her tip and with her standing there deducted the price of our nonrefundable show tickets and in essence she owed us money. Unfortunately, I have no idea whether this helped prevent future abuses by this waitress or whether it was an act of futility. We all like to say we have patience and a forgiving attitude but there are also appropriate times to call people on their stuff otherwise how will they ever understand that for every action there is a complete and opposite reaction.

    As for the road rage I can gratefully say that I no longer actively participate in this endeavor which took a considerable amount of work on my part as a former paramedic and firefighter in the Philadelphia metro area as our streets and citizens as well as the local media all play an integral part in this life threatening spectacle.

    Live Long & Prosper

  13. Training yourself to act deliberately...fully conscious of how our reaction is affecting the situation, is essential. It's easy to get pissed at the guy behind you following you way too closely in traffic. But are you actually improving the situation? Does your anger hurt anyone buy yourself? Being conscious of this is the hardest part.

  14. I learned a long time ago that I have a choice. Nobody, nobody, has the power to take away my happiness.

    I recently got a speeding ticket, my first in over forty years of driving. It was a bummer but it didn't ruin my day. In fact, I got a chuckle out of it as I thought "Well, now I am a grown-up."

    Allen Klein,
    author of The Courage to Laugh
    and
    The Healing Power of Humor

  15. I like the way you think, short message but you hit it on the head! I use to get somewhat mad, but now I just find something else to do while waiting, like have fun with my son or wife while waiting. Stay positive everyone!

  16. What am I choosing? Early I discovered that every upset of mine was a function of my expectations about how 'it' was supposed to occur. I was being the judge, jury and executioner of every event. I was a 'I am right machine' and everyone/eveything else is wrong because I said so. The second I 'notice' I am doing that I have the power to choose another view. I could alter the expectation after the fact [and have] and perhaps 'wear' the event differently next time. I have found if [HUGE if] I can ask "how can I make this an win/win opportunity" something shifts in me and the experience can become fun. If I can look for the opportunity to make a difference while I am in the 'upset' I have a chance to be patient, gentle, open, courageous and sometimes caring. I can even smile at the Universe's little joke being played out for my benefit. Thank you Randy for asking the question!

  17. I choose to let it go. Why tangle up my insides, get upset and angry over things that I have no control over. Bleeding ulcers and other health conditions related to anger, frustration, and stress just aren't worth it.

    Live and let live.

    Anger and intolerance are the twin enemies of correct understanding. -- Mahatma Gandhi

  18. Randy, I like the way you write your messages - short and yet you hit the point. I'm pretty a transparent person and when I see something that is out of line, or something that I wouldn't do myself...well, I used to question to myself...wondering why we're so different..!. But, hey, I'm not perfect either and have learned not to let anything bother me after a certain point. We all have right to live the way we choose, and there is no point of going further and make a fuss about anything.... Am I contradicting myself..? No, I don't think so... I think I just simply got wiser and making the best out of everything as much as possible - being positive and switch my thinking right away. Life is short. Just to say that I enjoyed today's visit again. Thanks, Randy.
    - SAACHI

  19. I choose- "Not"! I decided a few years ago that I should not make myself miserable over small insignificant things. The so called "offender" does not care, so why ruin one's day over it?

    Besides, by not letting everyday aggravations get to me, I stay in a better mood which helps me to concentrate on more important things like my opera company and friends like you.

    All the best to you Randy,

    Lucinda

  20. Hit a lot more times to others. I cme to realize patience is a virtue and any uncontrollble emotion took us into the path of nothing. Patience in developing my self is hard and had a lot of emotion. I bounced up with other people who is ridiculous, think money is evil, and lack respect to the poor, and the poor who hate the skillful and businessman, etc. But it is worth? does it serve me to contact with this people...Ahh yes, I learned a lot, change myself into better.
    I improved my focus to be much more productive.
    I read the BU last last years. and tnx to the persons that give me what to read for my development, as a man thinketh

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  • 22 comments on “So What Are You Choosing?”

    1. I choose patience and understanding, caring and respect. I may not be able to show it at all times as I am only human. Sometimes emotions will get the better of me, but if I had the time to think before reacting I would choose not to let emotions control my actions.

      Shannon

    2. I try to put myself in their shoes..everyone has a bad day once in a while. The only person you are hurting by having a bad attitude is yourself. Respond...don't react. Life is to short.

    3. Your choosing to react in a more positive way with love and understanding and by so doing you can keep on a beeter, more productive path where life is good. We choose how we experience it.

    4. I learned years ago that just because I was impatient most other folks weren't. If I'm just calm and reasonable most people will eventually become calm and reasonable too. Then progress gets made.

    5. Choosing to have patience and an easygoing attitude is terrific. However, it's even better to have that attitude be habitual. (The great thing about a habit is that there's no decision-making involved.)

      The truly patient don't choose to be understanding and accommodating --- it's a habit, so they just do it automatically.
      -jim

    6. -RG,

      Not! Energy is life's currency, I'm not spending mine on uncontrollable situations that will rob me of my time and energy.

      -DJM

    7. These are all great lessons.. And as you've said often it's being AWARE of your thoughts and making a conscious effort to change them that will result in realizing the Life you Love.

      I'm a human being and am prone towards making mistakes. But every TIME I do and catch myself, I'm also prone towards slowly eliminating them, having more patience, showing my gratitude and being at Peace.

      It's posts like the ones you've been making over the past weeks that make a difference and for this, I am truly grateful.

      Thanks Randy!

    8. From time to time, RE-ACTION seems like the good way to go.
      But I always conclude that PRO-ACTION is the best way...

      Being aware at all times and know in advance how you would respond to your life's events means you're prepared for it.

      It's all part of who you are and what you have become so far.

      Cheers,
      Adrian Bolosin

    9. I choose to be patient. I choose to be calm even in terrible situations.
      I choose the understanding that people are different and therefore preferences will differ. I therefore do not have to hurt myself because of what others are doing or not doing.
      In traffic situations, especially in my part of the world, you can actually go nuts if you do not choose to be calm.

    10. I choose to allow folks to follow their path, as I follow mine. In the examples given above, our paths barely cross. Pay attention, there's a lesson there.

      I know that this beautiful dance of life plays out exactly as it's supposed to, and that everything works. My path is peace, love, acceptance, guidance, compassion all wrapped up in the music of life.

    11. Hi Randy,

      Excellent point. We all have a brief moment where we can choose our reaction. We can either choose to be happy, or let small annoyances get the best of us and ruin our mood.

      One great way to combat this is to thing of the worst possible outcome of the inconvenience you're faced with and ask yourself if it would really be that bad and if it's worth getting worked up over. In most cases, it's probably not.

      Another one is to find something positive from the inconvenience. If Viktor Frankl could do this in Nazi concentration camps, then we certainly can with our trivial daily inconveniences.

      However, there's one common annoyance that I simply can't get past without it annoying me, and that's when people smoke around me. Maybe I should start telling smokers what they're doing to themselves (and me), and perhaps they'll either make a change, or at least move away from me. 🙂

    12. I have to admit that at times I choose confrontation. We had a waitress in a very nice restaurant disappear for 30 minutes after
      bringing us our dessert. We missed a show because of this and we had informed this waitress at the start that we were on a schedule. TIPS originally were introduced "To Insure Prompt Service." And we understand that the wait staff is essentially working for tips but when this waitress returned to our table and I asked where she had been her reply was "was I gone that long?" So I figured out her tip and with her standing there deducted the price of our nonrefundable show tickets and in essence she owed us money. Unfortunately, I have no idea whether this helped prevent future abuses by this waitress or whether it was an act of futility. We all like to say we have patience and a forgiving attitude but there are also appropriate times to call people on their stuff otherwise how will they ever understand that for every action there is a complete and opposite reaction.

      As for the road rage I can gratefully say that I no longer actively participate in this endeavor which took a considerable amount of work on my part as a former paramedic and firefighter in the Philadelphia metro area as our streets and citizens as well as the local media all play an integral part in this life threatening spectacle.

      Live Long & Prosper

    13. Training yourself to act deliberately...fully conscious of how our reaction is affecting the situation, is essential. It's easy to get pissed at the guy behind you following you way too closely in traffic. But are you actually improving the situation? Does your anger hurt anyone buy yourself? Being conscious of this is the hardest part.

    14. I learned a long time ago that I have a choice. Nobody, nobody, has the power to take away my happiness.

      I recently got a speeding ticket, my first in over forty years of driving. It was a bummer but it didn't ruin my day. In fact, I got a chuckle out of it as I thought "Well, now I am a grown-up."

      Allen Klein,
      author of The Courage to Laugh
      and
      The Healing Power of Humor

    15. I like the way you think, short message but you hit it on the head! I use to get somewhat mad, but now I just find something else to do while waiting, like have fun with my son or wife while waiting. Stay positive everyone!

    16. What am I choosing? Early I discovered that every upset of mine was a function of my expectations about how 'it' was supposed to occur. I was being the judge, jury and executioner of every event. I was a 'I am right machine' and everyone/eveything else is wrong because I said so. The second I 'notice' I am doing that I have the power to choose another view. I could alter the expectation after the fact [and have] and perhaps 'wear' the event differently next time. I have found if [HUGE if] I can ask "how can I make this an win/win opportunity" something shifts in me and the experience can become fun. If I can look for the opportunity to make a difference while I am in the 'upset' I have a chance to be patient, gentle, open, courageous and sometimes caring. I can even smile at the Universe's little joke being played out for my benefit. Thank you Randy for asking the question!

    17. I choose to let it go. Why tangle up my insides, get upset and angry over things that I have no control over. Bleeding ulcers and other health conditions related to anger, frustration, and stress just aren't worth it.

      Live and let live.

      Anger and intolerance are the twin enemies of correct understanding. -- Mahatma Gandhi

    18. Randy, I like the way you write your messages - short and yet you hit the point. I'm pretty a transparent person and when I see something that is out of line, or something that I wouldn't do myself...well, I used to question to myself...wondering why we're so different..!. But, hey, I'm not perfect either and have learned not to let anything bother me after a certain point. We all have right to live the way we choose, and there is no point of going further and make a fuss about anything.... Am I contradicting myself..? No, I don't think so... I think I just simply got wiser and making the best out of everything as much as possible - being positive and switch my thinking right away. Life is short. Just to say that I enjoyed today's visit again. Thanks, Randy.
      - SAACHI

    19. I choose- "Not"! I decided a few years ago that I should not make myself miserable over small insignificant things. The so called "offender" does not care, so why ruin one's day over it?

      Besides, by not letting everyday aggravations get to me, I stay in a better mood which helps me to concentrate on more important things like my opera company and friends like you.

      All the best to you Randy,

      Lucinda

    20. Hit a lot more times to others. I cme to realize patience is a virtue and any uncontrollble emotion took us into the path of nothing. Patience in developing my self is hard and had a lot of emotion. I bounced up with other people who is ridiculous, think money is evil, and lack respect to the poor, and the poor who hate the skillful and businessman, etc. But it is worth? does it serve me to contact with this people...Ahh yes, I learned a lot, change myself into better.
      I improved my focus to be much more productive.
      I read the BU last last years. and tnx to the persons that give me what to read for my development, as a man thinketh

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