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Self-Hate

Posted By: Randy GageMarch 15, 2012

So we began a fascinating discussion on the last post about self-hate, and how that could come about.  The examples I gave already started stirring some controversy.  Let’s begin with them again:

  • Gay or Lesbian people who are homophobic
  • Minorities who are racist against their own race
  • Rich people who despise people with money

So how could this possibly be?  Because of one of the most seminal changes in history.  A development that came about without much public notice or media fanfare.  And this is it:

We now change and develop more from the influence of mind viruses than we do from physical evolution.  As usual, the mind is driving the bus.  But the problem is, the mind is not thinking clearly.  Remember the process I spelled out yesterday.  This is the cycle of self-sabotage:

A negative or limiting belief, creates a negative or limiting vision, which inspires negative or limiting actions, which produce negative or limiting results.

And of course most of those limiting beliefs are created by the most virulent mind viruses, which are now assaulting us 24/7.  These include the crazy “you’re not worthy” memes programmed by organized religion, the “you need us to take care of you” memes propagated by nanny state governments, and the “everyone should look young, skinny and sexy” memes disseminated by pop culture.  We haven’t mentioned the sibling rivalry stuff, limiting beliefs you got from coaches or teachers at school, and I haven’t even started with your mother-in-law.

The point being, you are being assaulted with thousands of mind viruses a day; most of them being negative.

The reason this has become so acute today is the advent of technology.  Since the beginning of man, there has always been mind viruses and limiting beliefs.  But technology has changed everything…

Television broadcast networks are so monolithic now, and satellite and cable have made them even more so.  The Internet energized the information dissemination tidal wave exponentially, and social media and email have accelerated it even more.  A mind virus that used to take 150 years to go around the globe can now accomplish the feat within 48 to 72 hours.

The breathtaking spread of the KONY 2012 video movement is the most compelling example of this you may ever see.  At least until the next one.  (Which might be tonight's 17-minute Obama for America movie, the sequel to Avatar, or a video of a water-skiing hedgehog.)

If you look at the most prevalent mind viruses circulating today – money is bad, rich people are evil, entitlement programs are undeniable human rights, and it’s spiritual to be poor – you can see how they integrate and cascade upon one another, actually creating memeplexes.

Your religion brainwashes you that you’re not worthy before you’re six years old.  Your mother tells you that you don't sit up as straight as your sister.  Television and teen magazines build an idealist image that you never have a chance to match.  Government needs you to be needy and gets you to give away your power.  Your date says, “Are you going to wear that?”

If you’re like most people today (which obviously you aren’t, or you wouldn’t still be reading this), you’re watching five to six hours worth of television a day.  That means you’re getting 40 to sixty minutes worth of subliminal programming every single evening, to drink beer, sugary sodas and eat lots of pizza and junk food.

This makes you fat, which is exacerbated by all those beautiful bikini models in the Budweiser and Go Daddy commercials.  Fortunately there are lots more commercials for diet plans, liposuction, facelifts, Botox, and hair plugs.  The amount of neurotic, psychotic programming you receive on a daily basis in the world today is mind blowing.  (Almost in a literal sense.)

So let’s go back to our examples…

Someone is raised a Catholic, Mormon, or Muslim, and they are brainwashed at a young age that homosexuality is a choice people make, which disqualifies them from God’s grace.  They start to grow up, reach puberty and begin to experience hormonal urges of their natural sexuality – which might be Gay, Bisexual, or Transgender.

Think of all the messages they have already received, and will continue to receive, telling them they are different, bad, evil, unacceptable, flawed, forsaken by God, or all of the above.  They can walk in all the Pride marches, and play all the Gloria Gaynor anthems they want – they’re probably going to hate themselves on a subconscious level.

I believe the higher percentages of smoking, unsafe sex, and recreational drug use in the Gay community is a manifestation of death wish acting out – fueled by self-hate.

Let’s suppose you’re a minority who is frequently discriminated against, and grow up in a tenement or barrio.  People are afraid to come to your neighborhood, they look away when they see you, and they’re scared to get in an elevator with you.  How does that make you feel about yourself?

Take our third possibility.  You don’t grow up poor; you actually are blessed to grow up in a wealthy family.  Whatever you need or want is provided for you.  Meantime you make a friend at school who is extremely poor.  You visit their house, see how their family lives, and discover how they struggle.  Subconsciously, you’re likely to feel guilty.

You travel the world, see an inner city for the first time.  And even though you’re wealthy, you’re still getting bombarded with all the negative programming about rich people and money from all the usual sources.   You could actually buy into the mind viruses and begin to hate rich people - even though you are one.

These are just three examples of how this kind of self-hate can come about.  There are plenty more.  (Let’s say you’re a woman growing up in a country controlled by the Taliban, etc.)    Can you see how growing up in situations like these – you might begin to think you’re inferior, or even feel guilty for being born?

Now I don’t expect all this to generate a lot of agreement and amens…

Fundamentalists will likely feel I’m purposing inflaming the discussion by using the term brainwashing.  But it’s not a bait.  I have to side with Bill Maher on this one:  brainwashing is brainwashing.  And most of the dogma, doctrines and other propaganda that organized religion is programming kids with today, is unblemished brainwashing.

I may hear it from Gays, suggesting that I’m calling them out on the death wish behavior.  But that’s what I see in the community.  And understand I’m not saying this to be judgmental.  I’m simply presenting my analysis of what I see most, when counseling people whose prosperity is blocked.

The number one issue I see is the one of worthiness, and self-hate is playing a bigger and bigger part.  So I’m just calling it as I see it, in the hope that the discussion leads you to the critical thinking that may help you uncover whether you’re affected.

Now this is where the blog is supposed to end…

But something happened as I wrote it:  Something that couldn’t be left out.  And I must warn you.  It will stretch the belief of some of you.  In fact, if I was writing for a newspaper, there isn't an editor in America who would publish what you’re about to hear.  They would have a hard time believing what happened next…

I'm an open book and people seem to open up to me quickly, often sharing the most intimate stuff, minutes after I meet them.  And obviously I believe in the law of attraction, but even I was surprised with what came down next...

I was writing this post while eating dinner at an Asian restaurant in Fort Lauderdale.  As I was finishing, the waiter struck up a conversation with me.  After a while he introduced himself.  Since it was a Thai restaurant I expected him to be Thai.  But his name was Arabic.  So I asked if he was from Indonesia.  He was.  Then I asked if he was Muslim.  He said he was, but then looked down, and sheepishly said he couldn’t practice it devoutly, because he was Gay.

Within twenty minutes, I pretty much heard the story of his life.  He came to Florida to escape the pressure to marry a woman which is so pervasive at home.  So he traveled to the other side of the world, and works two jobs, so he can send money home to support his mother, who he loves so dearly, that he cannot tell her he is Gay.  He said it would crush her.

I asked if anyone in his family knew.  His answer was absolutely chilling…

He said he has told one sister, but not the other.  And then he calmly stated that he could never tell his two brothers, because if he did – they would kill him.

He is here on a religious persecution visa, because he had two Gay friends murdered in his hometown.  I’ve been there twice, and can confirm this certainly does happen there.

So I ask you…

How would you feel, knowing someone in your own family would kill you, for the perceived disgrace they felt you inflicted on them?  And that disgrace was you simply existing as who you were born as.

Think of the kids that get bullied all around the world, whether for sexuality, being poor, being rich, or just being different in some way...

Think of all the suppressive and limiting beliefs the government is shoving down your throat to create an entitlement society of people who need them...

Think of all the oppressive and negative brainwashing being done by fundamentalist extremists in so many different religions around the world...

There are a lot of people with crazy thought processes, trying to infect you with the same crazy shit they believe.

This is the programming that causes self-hate.  Stand up and take notice.  Because just the awareness and recognition of it, helps dispel some of its power.  Then decide, right now, to take back your own power.

There are a lot of people with crazy, dysfunctional and judgmental thinking that are in positions of power or influence.  That doesn't mean they are right.  It just means they are powerful and influential, and thus very dangerous to your health and welfare.

Examine your core fundamental beliefs.  Think how old you were when you adopted them and who taught them to you.  And question if they really serve you.

Because if they don’t – if they lead you to believe you are not worthy, not chosen, not good enough, or not equal – that is a crazy belief that you must blow up, and replace with an empowering belief that serves you. Only beliefs that tell you that you are worthy and deserve to enjoy a healthy, happy and productive life of joy, without judgment or persecution, are beliefs that serve you and should be adopted.

The Democrats have the right to think you need to be protected by a socialistic nanny state.  The Republicans have the right to think they should police the activity in your bedroom.  Cult leaders have the right to tell you that you don't deserve the grace of God.   Media personalities have the right to tell you that poverty is a virtue.  Racists have the right to tell you that their race is superior to yours.

And you have the right to listen to their beliefs, evaluate them, and recognize them for the crazy, unhealthy and dangerous beliefs they actually are.

Don’t let other people’s limiting beliefs become yours.

- RG

216 comments on “Self-Hate”

  1. Hi Randy
    This was an excellent post. I could go on all day about it, but I will not! The more I get into my personal development work, the more I realize how much crap I have taken in my whole life that has affected my outcomes up until this point. So many things are truly matters of preference and opinion, not cold hard fact, but it gets so deeply ingrained that we begin to see things in terms of right or wrong, when in reality it has nothing to do with that. I do agree that religion is the biggest perpetrator of them all. I do believe that we are all connected by some underlying energy, an energy that we can tap into and create our ideal circumstances. As for the idea of this superhuman man in the sky that has laid out ground rules and punishes those who are ''bad'', I do not believe in that. I really try to be tolerant of other people's beliefs but when I see the harm some of theses beliefs cause -- like starving third world masses who are told it is evil to use birth control and harboring so much hate towards people different than us, it can get quite frustrating. I do my best to focus on my life and making it the best it can be and helping who I can. Directing my attention towards all the junk will produce nothing useful to me. This was truly an exceptional post. 

  2. Hi Randy
    This was an excellent post. I could go on all day about it, but I will not! The more I get into my personal development work, the more I realize how much crap I have taken in my whole life that has affected my outcomes up until this point. So many things are truly matters of preference and opinion, not cold hard fact, but it gets so deeply ingrained that we begin to see things in terms of right or wrong, when in reality it has nothing to do with that. I do agree that religion is the biggest perpetrator of them all. I do believe that we are all connected by some underlying energy, an energy that we can tap into and create our ideal circumstances. As for the idea of this superhuman man in the sky that has laid out ground rules and punishes those who are ''bad'', I do not believe in that. I really try to be tolerant of other people's beliefs but when I see the harm some of theses beliefs cause -- like starving third world masses who are told it is evil to use birth control and harboring so much hate towards people different than us, it can get quite frustrating. I do my best to focus on my life and making it the best it can be and helping who I can. Directing my attention towards all the junk will produce nothing useful to me. This was truly an exceptional post. 

  3. Randy, I don't know what to say.  I am so glad in your post you are championing tolerance.  I think.  I am not sure.  I think you are but then, I think you should let people draw their own conclusions, instead of insulting the groups that you disagree with.
     
    You know, I am 100 pages away from finishing Ayn Rand's Novel.  That has been an emotional roller coaster ride for me.  Whoa.  I like her.  I don't really think she was coming from an unbiased stand point.  Yeah, no duh, I know, when the bolsheviks destroy your family it is difficult to remain neutral on political and social subjects.  Although,  you don't have to remain unforgiving and bitter.  Unfortunately, I think she did.  It is too bad, otherwise she may have had more of an impact.
     
    Do you get that?  For someone rational she made all kinds of errors of logic.  Don't be so sure you hold the market on truth and critical thinking.  Brainwashing honestly is one of your sports as well.
     
    Anyways, I still think you are great.  I also think Ayn Rand would have been a brilliant psychologist.  Some of the things she wrote in "Atlas Shrugged" about interpersonal relationships is so right on.  I learned a lot from her and you.

  4. Simply fantastic Randy. This post generated so much good stuff being contemplated...my whole morning has been derailed! Lol.
    Thanks my friend.

    -Sean

  5. Simply fantastic Randy. This post generated so much good stuff being contemplated...my whole morning has been derailed! Lol.
    Thanks my friend.

    -Sean

  6. O-M-G Randy!!!! This is GOOD STUFF, bro!  It's at this point, I would stand up in the crowded room and give you a standing ovation!! Why? It's simple... you are ABSOLUTELY right! Other people will have an individual thinking that they aren't meant to have the God given air they breath if that individual allowed other people to do so. I know from experience... been there, done that... writing a book, as we speak, about it. As I mentioned yesterday, I know exactly what you're talking about, because I was a victim of it for years.. heck, most of my life... all of my life! Even to this day, I have family members that live in the same city I currently live in that haven't been to my house in a year and a half; either because I'm gay, or because my partner of 5 years is white. I don't know which it actually is, but whatever the reason may be, they have decided that I'm not important enough to them to see pass the choices I've made. Although, at first it hurt my feelings, I'm totally cool with it now. As a matter of fact, at one point I found myself sucking it all up and going to their house instead; just to appease them and make them comfortable. Reality set in about five months ago, and I had a serious Aha moment. I asked myself, "Why are you continuing to let someone else (family or not) make you feel like what you are doing is wrong, if you don't believe it is?" It just didn't make much sense to me. So guess what I did? I stopped! Immediately! I haven't seen any of them since Thanksgiving. I love them dearly, but I love me and my happiness so much more. I only share this intimate part of my life, because I believe it will help someone else to get past their beliefs, that they have to endure such abuse because it's coming from family or close friends. Uh uh, stop doing that to yourself not! It's abuse! And you don't deserve that type of abuse from anyone; ESPECIALLY not from those that are supposed to love you. If we put ourselves through that type abuse continually, those that do it, will continue to abuse us. At some point, we have to make an intelligent decision and show people how we will be treated. We have to set the standard of how we demand respect for ourselves, and in turn they will receive the same exact respect that we are asking for. I had to become aware that I was allowing this behavior to take place, by going along with the demands they put upon me. If we allow people to manipulate us, we can't really get upset when they actually do it. It's that simple. I could certainly go on, because this is some good truth here you've given, Randy! 😀 And yes, you nailed it about the gay community as well... I'm a witness there too. I was doing exactly what you shared in the post. But as soon as I got a clue as to what was taking place, I was able to free myself up of the "drama", and find one individual that shares with me the love I give to him in return. Loved this bro!  PREACH!!! I loved every single word of this post! Gooooood stuff! Thank you so much for sharing this! 

  7. O-M-G Randy!!!! This is GOOD STUFF, bro!  It's at this point, I would stand up in the crowded room and give you a standing ovation!! Why? It's simple... you are ABSOLUTELY right! Other people will have an individual thinking that they aren't meant to have the God given air they breath if that individual allowed other people to do so. I know from experience... been there, done that... writing a book, as we speak, about it. As I mentioned yesterday, I know exactly what you're talking about, because I was a victim of it for years.. heck, most of my life... all of my life! Even to this day, I have family members that live in the same city I currently live in that haven't been to my house in a year and a half; either because I'm gay, or because my partner of 5 years is white. I don't know which it actually is, but whatever the reason may be, they have decided that I'm not important enough to them to see pass the choices I've made. Although, at first it hurt my feelings, I'm totally cool with it now. As a matter of fact, at one point I found myself sucking it all up and going to their house instead; just to appease them and make them comfortable. Reality set in about five months ago, and I had a serious Aha moment. I asked myself, "Why are you continuing to let someone else (family or not) make you feel like what you are doing is wrong, if you don't believe it is?" It just didn't make much sense to me. So guess what I did? I stopped! Immediately! I haven't seen any of them since Thanksgiving. I love them dearly, but I love me and my happiness so much more. I only share this intimate part of my life, because I believe it will help someone else to get past their beliefs, that they have to endure such abuse because it's coming from family or close friends. Uh uh, stop doing that to yourself not! It's abuse! And you don't deserve that type of abuse from anyone; ESPECIALLY not from those that are supposed to love you. If we put ourselves through that type abuse continually, those that do it, will continue to abuse us. At some point, we have to make an intelligent decision and show people how we will be treated. We have to set the standard of how we demand respect for ourselves, and in turn they will receive the same exact respect that we are asking for. I had to become aware that I was allowing this behavior to take place, by going along with the demands they put upon me. If we allow people to manipulate us, we can't really get upset when they actually do it. It's that simple. I could certainly go on, because this is some good truth here you've given, Randy! 😀 And yes, you nailed it about the gay community as well... I'm a witness there too. I was doing exactly what you shared in the post. But as soon as I got a clue as to what was taking place, I was able to free myself up of the "drama", and find one individual that shares with me the love I give to him in return. Loved this bro!  PREACH!!! I loved every single word of this post! Gooooood stuff! Thank you so much for sharing this! 

  8. This is what is called, "Hitting the nail on the head !!" , there is just too much incorrect programming from day one. I used the word incorrect instead of right because of the choice is ultimately for us to do the right and correct thing. Please continue to share, you are making a difference Randy, cheers 🙂

  9. This is what is called, "Hitting the nail on the head !!" , there is just too much incorrect programming from day one. I used the word incorrect instead of right because of the choice is ultimately for us to do the right and correct thing. Please continue to share, you are making a difference Randy, cheers 🙂

  10. Wow...this hit home. As an abused child of every possible abuse one can endure, I struggle with the little voices ALL...THE...TIME. Thanks for this!

    1.  @crazykids6 FYI- everyone has the little voices in their heads. The skill is in continually choosing which head conversations to believe and which ones to remember are false. If you understand that this the challenge and gift of being human, then the "struggle" can end and mastery can begin. 

  11. Wow...this hit home. As an abused child of every possible abuse one can endure, I struggle with the little voices ALL...THE...TIME. Thanks for this!

  12. It is really easier to hate yourself than to put in the work to really love yourself.  Personally, I think it is worth the time and effort to love yourself.

  13. It is really easier to hate yourself than to put in the work to really love yourself.  Personally, I think it is worth the time and effort to love yourself.

  14. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-india-17395459 - Sad this happened 🙁 
     
    Even i have been called names, "You are not worthy" types, bullied and harassed ... But by and large tried to remain sane. Have shouted out in anger but often people mistake it for frustration 🙂 idiots ... Thanks Randy. You just don't know how much you are helping me 

  15. Great, passionate post Randy. One point of clarification. I'm LDS (Mormon) and our church does NOT believe that being gay "disqualifies gay people from God’s grace." Everyone qualifies for God's grace. Please don't lump people into stereotypes without knowing what they really believe. 🙂

    I believe in Jesus Christ who said love everyone. Period. No exceptions.

  16.  I know what you mean because I was discriminated for living in a "poor (dangerous) neighborhood". In order to overcome that feeling I wrote the affirmation... "I am proud of my house.  I am grateful for the neigborhood where I am living now"

  17.  I know what you mean because I was discriminated for living in a "poor (dangerous) neighborhood". In order to overcome that feeling I wrote the affirmation... "I am proud of my house.  I am grateful for the neigborhood where I am living now"

  18. These are examples of outside influeces but the most important and permament emotional self-limiting beliefs I have found in myself is the LINK  I created in my childhood when it reaity it wasn't true.  Until those emotional self-definitions are not question,the beliefs won't change.
     
       As for the outside influences as for the role of goverment:You can a libertarian and be a billionaire  like the Koch brothers or a Social Democrat (a perojative term by the right:Welfare State) and be a billlionarie too like George Soros and the Swedish Billionarie.

    1. And of course,you can a English high school teacher,never make a lot of money and live a happy,fufilled life.

  19. These are examples of outside influeces but the most important and permament emotional self-limiting beliefs I have found in myself is the LINK  I created in my childhood when it reaity it wasn't true.  Until those emotional self-definitions are not question,the beliefs won't change.
     
       As for the outside influences as for the role of goverment:You can a libertarian and be a billionaire  like the Koch brothers or a Social Democrat (a perojative term by the right:Welfare State) and be a billlionarie too like George Soros and the Swedish Billionarie.

  20. I am a bit speechless...This is amazing insite to mind viruses..I have a ways to go yet!!  there is freedom in love!!  And judgement in mind viruses..what more can be said than what was written..amen!!

  21. I am a bit speechless...This is amazing insite to mind viruses..I have a ways to go yet!!  there is freedom in love!!  And judgement in mind viruses..what more can be said than what was written..amen!!

  22. I grew up poor as a church mouse, so to speak, but my Dad told me before I ever started going to school, that if I allowed someone to push me around for any reason, then I deserved to have my ass kicked by that person. But, if I stood up for myself and did get into a fight because of it, no matter if I won or lost, he would back me up all the way. So, I never allowed anyone to tell me that I was not good enough, or that I just didn't meet their standards. It wasn't their standards I was trying to meet. It was my standards.
     
    The point being that it has to start at home, with parents that are willing to stand behind what they teach their children. If they don't teach their children how to live in this world, just who do they expect to do it? School? To many to a classroom to help a single child. Church? You must conform to their way of thinking.. The government? Suicide. It has to start at home, before school, so the child knows what to do when approached by a bully. The child has to have a foundation to stand on and parents willing to back up what they teach their child.

  23. I grew up poor as a church mouse, so to speak, but my Dad told me before I ever started going to school, that if I allowed someone to push me around for any reason, then I deserved to have my ass kicked by that person. But, if I stood up for myself and did get into a fight because of it, no matter if I won or lost, he would back me up all the way. So, I never allowed anyone to tell me that I was not good enough, or that I just didn't meet their standards. It wasn't their standards I was trying to meet. It was my standards.
     
    The point being that it has to start at home, with parents that are willing to stand behind what they teach their children. If they don't teach their children how to live in this world, just who do they expect to do it? School? To many to a classroom to help a single child. Church? You must conform to their way of thinking.. The government? Suicide. It has to start at home, before school, so the child knows what to do when approached by a bully. The child has to have a foundation to stand on and parents willing to back up what they teach their child.

  24. Oh @Randy_Gage, my dear, I'm infected with Self-Love since ages,never had  time for Self- Hate, maybe later, when I get 30 years older, with  87 😉 Hugssssss

  25. Oh @Randy_Gage, my dear, I'm infected with Self-Love since ages,never had  time for Self- Hate, maybe later, when I get 30 years older, with  87 😉 Hugssssss

  26. Great post Randy. I'm one of the fortunate ones - my parents instilled in me the belief that others may hold opinions and beliefs as they will, but that it was my own opinion and belief in myself that was primary. Sadly, I've seen countless people fall victim to just what you've illustrated here. The first step is to recognize and acknowledge that it's happening - many don't even know they're falling victim to outsiders' mind viruses.

  27. Great post Randy. I'm one of the fortunate ones - my parents instilled in me the belief that others may hold opinions and beliefs as they will, but that it was my own opinion and belief in myself that was primary. Sadly, I've seen countless people fall victim to just what you've illustrated here. The first step is to recognize and acknowledge that it's happening - many don't even know they're falling victim to outsiders' mind viruses.

  28. I am so utterly weary of the selfconvincing platitudes about poverty being some morally superior virtue. I mean: if you want to be poor, then great; it's not my right or responsibility to stop you. But the chauvinism I see in these sanctimonious mendicants suggesting that socioeconomic and ethical superiority are somehow mutually exclusive is deplorable at best.
     
    I started out rich. Wasn't my fault. Not that I ever felt guilty about it; I still don't. And I did go over to other kids' houses, several blocks away in the comparative slums [no one I knew was really poor; one family were impoverished to the extent that they had only two cars, one of them a used Porsche], and looked at what they had not with a sense of shame but of perplexity. I got back home once and asked why the people a mile away didn't just make more money; Dad's answer was stupidly simple: not everyone's able to.
     
    That gave me the idea that the ability to make money was similar [in cases identical] to any other uncommon trait people might have: good at basketball, fast at math, or whatever. Like it was a basic natural idiosyncrasy which could probably be developed through whatever practice and education, but started out the same as being tall or short or smart or stupid.
     
    From what I've seen since, I've concluded that I was pretty much right about all that. How to make money can be taught; why to make money seems too obvious to debate, but there's always room for discussion. But, at the same time, some of us are naturally better at setting whatever goal and sprinting relentlessly toward it [at the risk of giving the impecunious narcissists yet more fuel, there's a term for the ability to go ceaselessly after what you want; that term is sociopathy].
     
    As for religion and its intrinsic hatred: I don't disagree at all. But I've actually already ranted enough about that to build a career already, so I'll drop the subject for now.

    1.  @GremlinNet the other argument is making money or becoming a millionarie or creating residual income is going to make happy.

  29. I am so utterly weary of the selfconvincing platitudes about poverty being some morally superior virtue. I mean: if you want to be poor, then great; it's not my right or responsibility to stop you. But the chauvinism I see in these sanctimonious mendicants suggesting that socioeconomic and ethical superiority are somehow mutually exclusive is deplorable at best.
     
    I started out rich. Wasn't my fault. Not that I ever felt guilty about it; I still don't. And I did go over to other kids' houses, several blocks away in the comparative slums [no one I knew was really poor; one family were impoverished to the extent that they had only two cars, one of them a used Porsche], and looked at what they had not with a sense of shame but of perplexity. I got back home once and asked why the people a mile away didn't just make more money; Dad's answer was stupidly simple: not everyone's able to.
     
    That gave me the idea that the ability to make money was similar [in cases identical] to any other uncommon trait people might have: good at basketball, fast at math, or whatever. Like it was a basic natural idiosyncrasy which could probably be developed through whatever practice and education, but started out the same as being tall or short or smart or stupid.
     
    From what I've seen since, I've concluded that I was pretty much right about all that. How to make money can be taught; why to make money seems too obvious to debate, but there's always room for discussion. But, at the same time, some of us are naturally better at setting whatever goal and sprinting relentlessly toward it [at the risk of giving the impecunious narcissists yet more fuel, there's a term for the ability to go ceaselessly after what you want; that term is sociopathy].
     
    As for religion and its intrinsic hatred: I don't disagree at all. But I've actually already ranted enough about that to build a career already, so I'll drop the subject for now.

  30. Good blog post... although there are soo many better examples of self hate and self sabatoge other than blaming religion, government and school teachers which all can also work to empower you. People self sabotage themselves with substance abuse everyday...people also self sabotage themselves in their jobs or businesses b/c of their beliefs about themselves. It sounds like a cheap shot to blame religion...like if you were just trying to say what the masses want to hear.

    1.  @MS70silverangel I would agree that there are plenty of other causes.  But the biggest cause I see in the people I work with is programming from organized religion.  -RG

      1.  @Randy_Gage Well you obviously have alot more experience in dealing with people and their issues... all i can say is religion is something very impowering in my life...is it possible that there are other issues that people have that conflict with what organized religions preach?

        1.  @MS70silverangel It may surprise you to know that religion is very empowering in my life as well.  But that has come as the result of many years of study, critical thinking and discernment, to come to beliefs which are healthy and serve me.  - RG

  31. Good blog post... although there are soo many better examples of self hate and self sabatoge other than blaming religion, government and school teachers which all can also work to empower you. People self sabotage themselves with substance abuse everyday...people also self sabotage themselves in their jobs or businesses b/c of their beliefs about themselves. It sounds like a cheap shot to blame religion...like if you were just trying to say what the masses want to hear.

  32. Self hate is easily medicated with drugs, alcohol and especially food.  Once you learn to love yourself there is still work to do.  How many people do not believe they are 'worthy' of ................... add what just popped into your mind.
     
    You are the best Randy.  Thank you for making a difference!

  33. Self hate is easily medicated with drugs, alcohol and especially food.  Once you learn to love yourself there is still work to do.  How many people do not believe they are 'worthy' of ................... add what just popped into your mind.
     
    You are the best Randy.  Thank you for making a difference!

  34.  @MS70silverangel I would agree that there are plenty of other causes.  But the biggest cause I see in the people I work with is programming from organized religion.  -RG

  35.  @GremlinNet the other argument is making money or becoming a millionarie or creating residual income is going to make happy.

  36. And of course,you can a English high school teacher,never make a lot of money and live a happy,fufilled life.

  37.  @Randy_Gage Well you obviously have alot more experience in dealing with people and their issues... all i can say is religion is something very impowering in my life...is it possible that there are other issues that people have that conflict with what organized religions preach?

  38. The most complicated of these are the ones we wear like skin - infected so early and worn so long that they have woven nearly into the cellular structure until they are perceived. Keep'em coming, Randy!

  39. The most complicated of these are the ones we wear like skin - infected so early and worn so long that they have woven nearly into the cellular structure until they are perceived. Keep'em coming, Randy!

  40. That is so sad to have weirdo religion practise teaching such self hate of that these individuals. Religion is being perverted by individuals. God does not hate Gays... that is people teaching hatred n twisting it in the name if God, Allah,... When I want change after years of struggling I look n ask for people who r where I want to b. Hating yrself

  41. That is so sad to have weirdo religion practise teaching such self hate of that these individuals. Religion is being perverted by individuals. God does not hate Gays... that is people teaching hatred n twisting it in the name if God, Allah,... When I want change after years of struggling I look n ask for people who r where I want to b. Hating yrself

  42. This is the most powerful, so true, greatest blog i EVER READ so far.......  Amazing critical thinking You Inspire me Randy!

  43. This is the most powerful, so true, greatest blog i EVER READ so far.......  Amazing critical thinking You Inspire me Randy!

  44. Brilliant read.  This is such an important topic to help people get un-stuck and un-stoppable.  

  45. Brilliant read.  This is such an important topic to help people get un-stuck and un-stoppable.  

  46. Very profound comments Randy and I couldn't agree with you more. I stopped reading newspapers, listening to new on TV (or even watching TV) and disengaged from organized religion many years ago. Since I was brought up in the Jewish traditions, which are rife with GUILT and judgement, I couldn't relate even as a teen. Yes, the memes are everywhere and as you say, it's up to us to decipher what does and does not serve our Higher Good. Thanks for posting

  47. Very profound comments Randy and I couldn't agree with you more. I stopped reading newspapers, listening to new on TV (or even watching TV) and disengaged from organized religion many years ago. Since I was brought up in the Jewish traditions, which are rife with GUILT and judgement, I couldn't relate even as a teen. Yes, the memes are everywhere and as you say, it's up to us to decipher what does and does not serve our Higher Good. Thanks for posting

  48. You said you don’t expect all this to generate a lot of agreement and amens but I gotta tell ya I was nodding my head, laughing and saying Amen a lot as I read this.
     
    As for the extra part of the article, the part that wouldn't have made the cut if this were an article in a newspaper... All I want to say is how cool is it that we have the internet now!?
     
    Great post and another perfect example of why I tune in.

  49. You said you don’t expect all this to generate a lot of agreement and amens but I gotta tell ya I was nodding my head, laughing and saying Amen a lot as I read this.
     
    As for the extra part of the article, the part that wouldn't have made the cut if this were an article in a newspaper... All I want to say is how cool is it that we have the internet now!?
     
    Great post and another perfect example of why I tune in.

  50. Randy, you are really starting to impact me with all your blogs and videos.  Today I was at a meeting and someone was saying how much they were offended by wealthy people and who did they think they were to have that wealth. 
     
    In the past, pre-Randy I would have listened and thought...hmmm interesting,  But today the first thing I thought was MIND VIRUS.  Yep.  I totally got it and discounted it.  So I am really appreciative of all your great work.  Thank you so much.  Have a great weekend.  ~Karen Marie

  51. Randy, you are really starting to impact me with all your blogs and videos.  Today I was at a meeting and someone was saying how much they were offended by wealthy people and who did they think they were to have that wealth. 
     
    In the past, pre-Randy I would have listened and thought...hmmm interesting,  But today the first thing I thought was MIND VIRUS.  Yep.  I totally got it and discounted it.  So I am really appreciative of all your great work.  Thank you so much.  Have a great weekend.  ~Karen Marie

  52. @Bille I agree hating only hurts you and the people around you. love you and the world will love you. Giving value to you first, so you can give it the world.

  53. @Bille I agree hating only hurts you and the people around you. love you and the world will love you. Giving value to you first, so you can give it the world.

  54. This article captured the essence of judgmental and dysfunctional. we are conditioned as children, as adults we hope to grow in decisions, beliefs and wisdom. Very good perception. Especially the extended portion.

  55. This article captured the essence of judgmental and dysfunctional. we are conditioned as children, as adults we hope to grow in decisions, beliefs and wisdom. Very good perception. Especially the extended portion.

  56. Randy, you have told everyone they are a "sinner" if they are not wealthy.  That is really not empowering to anyone.  You have eluded that we are not critical thinkers unless we agree with you on politics and most of what Ayn Rand has written. (And you never tell us what it is you disagree with) 
     
    I wrote a post earlier, but I didn't really like it so I am writing another one.  I really agree with you on everything in this post.  Here is what bothers me though.  You have said it is a sin to be poor, you in this article call other people's beliefs "crazy shit".  Sorry Randy, but these are not comments that will generate self worth.  They will more than likely generate a feeling of superiority in those reading this.  Since, you separate those of us who listen to you from the rest of the world.  Then it will generate hate for those who have messages you disagree with.
     
    I believe what you have said is in empowering and will make people want to believe in themselves, it does me. 🙂  However, those feeling of self worth can be difficult to attain once lost.  So, let's have mercy on those who it may take awhile to see the light.
     
    Also, you make  a really good case for entitlements.  Oops, that's not what you wanted I am sure, however, I think that the hate and prejudice and injustice minorities and other groups have had to face are actually a good reason to maintain a social safety net.  Do you think those who are prejudiced and hated find it as easy as one blog post to turn their lives around? To go find a career to bring them wealth beyond their imaginations, in a country that mostly hates them?  I think not.  It will do it for some, so bless you for that, but for others that assault on their person will take longer to get over, especially as the prejudice still continues to this day.
     
    Thank you though for your brave and encouraging post.  But, Randy really some people who disagree with you  on religion and politics are not full of crazy shit ideas.  And honestly, though I really admire you, I think some of your ideas could be considered "crazy shit" as well.
     

    1.  @Annieb I did not call anyone a sinner, I said poverty is a sin.  I did not call people any names, I called behavior and beliefs that are dysfunctional crazy shit.  This is a very important distinction.  I am not demeaning people, but I am very forcefully demeaning beliefs that will keep them broke, unhealthy or unhealthy.  Or even dead.  So I use strong language, but with discernment.  -RG

      1.  @Randy_Gage That is illogical.  Poverty is a sin, but not the impoverished.  Like war is a sin, but not those who started it?  Murder is a sin but not those who do it?  Okay, here is where we need to think critically.  What you are saying is absurd, or you are saying that it is someone other than the person who is impoverished that caused their poverty.
         
        I applaud you however on demeaning unhealthy beliefs.  I think that is noble.  I really do Randy.  But, logic and reason are not something you can escape.

      2.  @Randy_Gage I have a PS.  I think you are really brave to take on the dysfunctional beliefs we have about homosexuality and other sexual diversity issues.  It really is brave, and I admire you tons for that. 
         
        I wish for a day when we could have a healthy attitude towards all sexuality.  On that one I totally agree that Religion has caused most, if not all of that dysfunction.  And, as far as Christ was concerned he did not make judgements of that nature.  Christianity has been twisted to create that particular prejudice.
         
        I think the man who is afraid he would be killed if he spoke of his homosexuality, by members of his family, must feel alienated, alone and an abomination to God.  I hope he doesn't, but you asked how we would feel and I believe that is how I would feel.
         
        Years ago I was reading Freud's "Case History of Dora", and I remember that it was his belief that all people had an element of bisexuality to them.  Freud may have been wrong about some things, but sometimes he was absolutely right.

      3.  @Randy_Gage One more thing.  You do demean people, just saying you don't doesn't make it true.  You also say empowering messages, but some of what you say is demeaning.  I wanted to point out that we could be brainwashed negatively by some of what you say as well.
         
        Having said all that, it seems like you are more positive, than you use to be. 

        1.  @Randy_Gage Well, Interestingly enough, that is what evangelicals usually say in regards to homosexuality.  You dig that? I don't. 
           
          However, I can't stop being a fan of yours, no matter how much I disagree with you at times.    So, I will hate some of your words but love the man.-Annie 😉

        2.  @Randy_Gage  @Annieb This may open a can of worms, but I know a minister who uses this phrase in reference to Gays. I always hear it as his "enlightened" way to judge those he is afraid of. If sin means "to miss to mark" then why "hate' the sin. Isn't it better to acknowledge it and then choose another path for the future? Hence the word "repent"-to turn away from.  Takes the judgement away. JK
           

  57. Randy, you have told everyone they are a "sinner" if they are not wealthy.  That is really not empowering to anyone.  You have eluded that we are not critical thinkers unless we agree with you on politics and most of what Ayn Rand has written. (And you never tell us what it is you disagree with) 
     
    I wrote a post earlier, but I didn't really like it so I am writing another one.  I really agree with you on everything in this post.  Here is what bothers me though.  You have said it is a sin to be poor, you in this article call other people's beliefs "crazy shit".  Sorry Randy, but these are not comments that will generate self worth.  They will more than likely generate a feeling of superiority in those reading this.  Since, you separate those of us who listen to you from the rest of the world.  Then it will generate hate for those who have messages you disagree with.
     
    I believe what you have said is in empowering and will make people want to believe in themselves, it does me. 🙂  However, those feeling of self worth can be difficult to attain once lost.  So, let's have mercy on those who it may take awhile to see the light.
     
    Also, you make  a really good case for entitlements.  Oops, that's not what you wanted I am sure, however, I think that the hate and prejudice and injustice minorities and other groups have had to face are actually a good reason to maintain a social safety net.  Do you think those who are prejudiced and hated find it as easy as one blog post to turn their lives around? To go find a career to bring them wealth beyond their imaginations, in a country that mostly hates them?  I think not.  It will do it for some, so bless you for that, but for others that assault on their person will take longer to get over, especially as the prejudice still continues to this day.
     
    Thank you though for your brave and encouraging post.  But, Randy really some people who disagree with you  on religion and politics are not full of crazy shit ideas.  And honestly, though I really admire you, I think some of your ideas could be considered "crazy shit" as well.
     

  58. I just read a blog about self-hate and weight:
    http://www.fatblogger.net/self_hate/

    Thinking Debt may also be a result of self-hate. Addictions, etc even not flossing when you know you should...

    but may not be aware it is self-hate... Maybe just what you learned growing up and now responsible for changing self-hate to self-love.

    1. Also thinking diseases can be related to self-hate... For example I have an autoimmune disease... Body attacking Itself...

      Hoping to cure it by changing beliefs/self-talk

      Thinking cancer may be related also... Arthritis... Wonder how many diseases related to self-hate...

  59. I just read a blog about self-hate and weight:
    http://www.fatblogger.net/self_hate/

    Thinking Debt may also be a result of self-hate. Addictions, etc even not flossing when you know you should...

    but may not be aware it is self-hate... Maybe just what you learned growing up and now responsible for changing self-hate to self-love.

  60.  @Annieb I did not call anyone a sinner, I said poverty is a sin.  I did not call people any names, I called behavior and beliefs that are dysfunctional crazy shit.  This is a very important distinction.  I am not demeaning people, but I am very forcefully demeaning beliefs that will keep them broke, unhealthy or unhealthy.  Or even dead.  So I use strong language, but with discernment.  -RG

  61.  @MS70silverangel It may surprise you to know that religion is very empowering in my life as well.  But that has come as the result of many years of study, critical thinking and discernment, to come to beliefs which are healthy and serve me.  - RG

  62.  @Randy_Gage That is illogical.  Poverty is a sin, but not the impoverished.  Like war is a sin, but not those who started it?  Murder is a sin but not those who do it?  Okay, here is where we need to think critically.  What you are saying is absurd, or you are saying that it is someone other than the person who is impoverished that caused their poverty.
     
    I applaud you however on demeaning unhealthy beliefs.  I think that is noble.  I really do Randy.  But, logic and reason are not something you can escape.

  63. Randy, I used to be one of those people who watched TV 6 hours a day. When the big HD switch happened, my husband and I decided to go completely without TV for 6 months! It was a life changer. While he missed the news and I missed American Idol and The Apprentice (the only two shows I care about watching today) and educational shows, we really didn't miss TV as much as we thought we would. Now I don't waste that time anymore. I'd much rather read a motivational book or do things that will build a foundation in which to create wealth. I read a book about fear called "Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway" by Susan Jeffers, and she suggested not to watch any news for a couple of months because of all the negativity that creates paralyzing fear. Then, once you get used to not being around negativity you can slowly watch some it realizing that you don't have to react to it.  I'd recommend this book to anyone who feels stuck...whether you think you are fearful or fearless, you will find some truths you didn't know about yourself. ~Lynda

  64. Randy, I used to be one of those people who watched TV 6 hours a day. When the big HD switch happened, my husband and I decided to go completely without TV for 6 months! It was a life changer. While he missed the news and I missed American Idol and The Apprentice (the only two shows I care about watching today) and educational shows, we really didn't miss TV as much as we thought we would. Now I don't waste that time anymore. I'd much rather read a motivational book or do things that will build a foundation in which to create wealth. I read a book about fear called "Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway" by Susan Jeffers, and she suggested not to watch any news for a couple of months because of all the negativity that creates paralyzing fear. Then, once you get used to not being around negativity you can slowly watch some it realizing that you don't have to react to it.  I'd recommend this book to anyone who feels stuck...whether you think you are fearful or fearless, you will find some truths you didn't know about yourself. ~Lynda

  65. Enlightening post Randy!
    "I would love to see you expand in a post on your comment in the comments " I think debt is one of the ways people medicate self-hate" 
     

  66. Enlightening post Randy!
    "I would love to see you expand in a post on your comment in the comments " I think debt is one of the ways people medicate self-hate" 
     

  67. Also thinking diseases can be related to self-hate... For example I have an autoimmune disease... Body attacking Itself...

    Hoping to cure it by changing beliefs/self-talk

    Thinking cancer may be related also... Arthritis... Wonder how many diseases related to self-hate...

  68. Great, great post Randy!

    The thing I would ad as one of the biggest, most powerfully disabling, and life derailing mind programming factors, comes from dysfunctional parenting. In my experience, I have seen far, far, far more damage done to belief systems and worthiness (what you feel you should/could have, be or do), from toxic parenting than I have from religion, government, media etc. Not that those sources aren't major contributors for many, many people, they are, but in my opinion, you would be hard pressed to find any source with the power to so totally destroy and undermine in a comprehensive and devious fashion as unhealthy parents - mainly because of the frequency of the messages and the power/connection of the source.

    When those whose opinion you hold in the highest regard, who's love you're desperate to cultivate/maintain, tell you over and over, that who you authentically are is bad/worthless/unwanted/unlovable etc, the depth and power of this programming is devastating in a way that most other programming sources would have a difficult time competing with.

    All of the factors you've listed are major players, and I've had to work on many of them, but I think to leave out the programming and impact of toxic parents, is to miss out on one of the biggest contributors that exists when it comes to creating lack based/worthiness/self-hate issues.

    -Sean

  69. Great, great post Randy!

    The thing I would ad as one of the biggest, most powerfully disabling, and life derailing mind programming factors, comes from dysfunctional parenting. In my experience, I have seen far, far, far more damage done to belief systems and worthiness (what you feel you should/could have, be or do), from toxic parenting than I have from religion, government, media etc. Not that those sources aren't major contributors for many, many people, they are, but in my opinion, you would be hard pressed to find any source with the power to so totally destroy and undermine in a comprehensive and devious fashion as unhealthy parents - mainly because of the frequency of the messages and the power/connection of the source.

    When those whose opinion you hold in the highest regard, who's love you're desperate to cultivate/maintain, tell you over and over, that who you authentically are is bad/worthless/unwanted/unlovable etc, the depth and power of this programming is devastating in a way that most other programming sources would have a difficult time competing with.

    All of the factors you've listed are major players, and I've had to work on many of them, but I think to leave out the programming and impact of toxic parents, is to miss out on one of the biggest contributors that exists when it comes to creating lack based/worthiness/self-hate issues.

    -Sean

  70.  @Randy_Gage I have a PS.  I think you are really brave to take on the dysfunctional beliefs we have about homosexuality and other sexual diversity issues.  It really is brave, and I admire you tons for that. 
     
    I wish for a day when we could have a healthy attitude towards all sexuality.  On that one I totally agree that Religion has caused most, if not all of that dysfunction.  And, as far as Christ was concerned he did not make judgements of that nature.  Christianity has been twisted to create that particular prejudice.
     
    I think the man who is afraid he would be killed if he spoke of his homosexuality, by members of his family, must feel alienated, alone and an abomination to God.  I hope he doesn't, but you asked how we would feel and I believe that is how I would feel.
     
    Years ago I was reading Freud's "Case History of Dora", and I remember that it was his belief that all people had an element of bisexuality to them.  Freud may have been wrong about some things, but sometimes he was absolutely right.

  71. awesome post.  Reminded me of how weird I felt at the dinner table at my parents during a visit back to NJ after living in Los Angeles for ten years.  My Mother did not want my Father to deal with a UPS driver that was colored.  I was shocked that I had grown up in that environment, maybe I just never noticed it since as a teen I was usually day dreaming at the table and not paying attention.
     
    As the parent to two teens on the autism spectrum there is a lot of hate in the community.  It is so divided with those that are on the spectrum, those parents that want a cure and then those that blame themselves.  I removed that negativity from my life in 2000 when I ceased communication with family in NJ due to their negativity saying it was my fault - at times I have felt bad that my kids did not get holiday gatherings and parties but really glad that we are not around that negativity and closed mindedness.
     
    In 1982 I took a greyhound bus at 22 yrs of age from NJ to San Diego and stayed 6 months.  I walked into a bar around downtown LA and did not know it was a gay bar.  The bartender was Gino from NJ and we hit it off and I hung out there and became roommates with a guy that frequented the club.  He was from Australia and there were four of us in the apt.  I got entrenched in the lifestyle with them  - I was the one that lured guys into the bar by sitting at the door.  Anyway it was not healthy and I went back to NJ - but it was the start of AIDS and I developed eczema rashes on my arms and face from the weather.  I stayed at my parents for a few months before I found my own place again - the first week back I had to stay in my room during my Aunt's babyshower due to the rash on my face.  She was too embarassed to have me sit at the table.
     
    As a teen I would get asked if I used needles and if I had other skin conditions that sounded scarey. When I would ask my Mother what those things were I would get in trouble and have to stay in my room.  To this day I feel terrible and gross when I have skin issues as a result of this treatment.
     
    My sister became blind from a brain tumor - seeing how my Mother was embarrassed by my sister, having her wait in the car or walking or pulling her behind her - made me do the complete opposite in raising my kids and I would not want them to be around that type of Family. 
     
    I do not like negativity at all so I have my older teen son doing online school to avoid bullying issues - not that they came up but where we live in LA we are the minority and I could not send my autistic son that is tall and a bit awkward who could be perceived as gay by the ignorant to go to a middle or high school where there are 1000  Latinos and only a dozen Caucasian students.
    Again, awesome article Randy and I do believe this conversation would happen to you while writing this. 
     
     

  72. awesome post.  Reminded me of how weird I felt at the dinner table at my parents during a visit back to NJ after living in Los Angeles for ten years.  My Mother did not want my Father to deal with a UPS driver that was colored.  I was shocked that I had grown up in that environment, maybe I just never noticed it since as a teen I was usually day dreaming at the table and not paying attention.
     
    As the parent to two teens on the autism spectrum there is a lot of hate in the community.  It is so divided with those that are on the spectrum, those parents that want a cure and then those that blame themselves.  I removed that negativity from my life in 2000 when I ceased communication with family in NJ due to their negativity saying it was my fault - at times I have felt bad that my kids did not get holiday gatherings and parties but really glad that we are not around that negativity and closed mindedness.
     
    In 1982 I took a greyhound bus at 22 yrs of age from NJ to San Diego and stayed 6 months.  I walked into a bar around downtown LA and did not know it was a gay bar.  The bartender was Gino from NJ and we hit it off and I hung out there and became roommates with a guy that frequented the club.  He was from Australia and there were four of us in the apt.  I got entrenched in the lifestyle with them  - I was the one that lured guys into the bar by sitting at the door.  Anyway it was not healthy and I went back to NJ - but it was the start of AIDS and I developed eczema rashes on my arms and face from the weather.  I stayed at my parents for a few months before I found my own place again - the first week back I had to stay in my room during my Aunt's babyshower due to the rash on my face.  She was too embarassed to have me sit at the table.
     
    As a teen I would get asked if I used needles and if I had other skin conditions that sounded scarey. When I would ask my Mother what those things were I would get in trouble and have to stay in my room.  To this day I feel terrible and gross when I have skin issues as a result of this treatment.
     
    My sister became blind from a brain tumor - seeing how my Mother was embarrassed by my sister, having her wait in the car or walking or pulling her behind her - made me do the complete opposite in raising my kids and I would not want them to be around that type of Family. 
     
    I do not like negativity at all so I have my older teen son doing online school to avoid bullying issues - not that they came up but where we live in LA we are the minority and I could not send my autistic son that is tall and a bit awkward who could be perceived as gay by the ignorant to go to a middle or high school where there are 1000  Latinos and only a dozen Caucasian students.
    Again, awesome article Randy and I do believe this conversation would happen to you while writing this. 
     
     

  73. While studying and reflecting on the current moral and value changes in society today, as well as the consistent progression, over the past 50 years, where the United States, is concerned. I have come to this conclusion and strong belief. This county was build by our founding fathers on the foundation of the Declaration of Independence and "IN GOD WE TRUST". We were blessed for many years for these truths, that were once in action in the people of this country. It is so apparent to me that there has been a continual decline since then, in our moral character and our shift in values and beliefs. We are on a crash course if we do not make major changes. Thankfully, a little over 500 people, who we vote in, to run the country and make our major decisions, have been and are modifying progressively all the laws that were previously established, to allow their opinionatednself serving beliefs, to be legally established as "acceptable behavior". To get to my point. If 500 or so people could make this mess, what power could 5000 God fearing people do to bring about change. Have you ever read "the butterfly effect"  I'm not going religious, since I think religion is a big part of the problem. It puts labels on people and controls them with their interpretations of a higher power or lack there of. The bible is TRUTH and the truth will set us free. By this belief only, can true faith be obtained and salvation guaranteed. When Jesus was tempted for 40 days by the devil, the only way the devil had to try to get to Jesus, was through presuppositions. He would say "If you are the son of God, then..... The devil can only get to us through our thoughts and minds and he does the same thing to us as he did to Jesus. We must hold our position, if we are reborn and have the holy spirit to guide us. It is so obvious to me that the devil is winning this war, with so many people by playing with their minds and getting them to question everything and every one in their lives. He hardens the heart, the longer he has our attention and focus. He has no power over God. We give him the power by letting him enter our mind. I think Randy is spot on with his points. We must guard our minds as we would our childrens lives. We must remove people and thoughts from our lives that are not in the will of God, and we must declare who we are, any time the devil enters our mind, by saying, "I rebuke you, Devil, Get behind me, I am the righteousness of God and I declare his power over you through my faith with God's grace. Amen.

  74. While studying and reflecting on the current moral and value changes in society today, as well as the consistent progression, over the past 50 years, where the United States, is concerned. I have come to this conclusion and strong belief. This county was build by our founding fathers on the foundation of the Declaration of Independence and "IN GOD WE TRUST". We were blessed for many years for these truths, that were once in action in the people of this country. It is so apparent to me that there has been a continual decline since then, in our moral character and our shift in values and beliefs. We are on a crash course if we do not make major changes. Thankfully, a little over 500 people, who we vote in, to run the country and make our major decisions, have been and are modifying progressively all the laws that were previously established, to allow their opinionatednself serving beliefs, to be legally established as "acceptable behavior". To get to my point. If 500 or so people could make this mess, what power could 5000 God fearing people do to bring about change. Have you ever read "the butterfly effect"  I'm not going religious, since I think religion is a big part of the problem. It puts labels on people and controls them with their interpretations of a higher power or lack there of. The bible is TRUTH and the truth will set us free. By this belief only, can true faith be obtained and salvation guaranteed. When Jesus was tempted for 40 days by the devil, the only way the devil had to try to get to Jesus, was through presuppositions. He would say "If you are the son of God, then..... The devil can only get to us through our thoughts and minds and he does the same thing to us as he did to Jesus. We must hold our position, if we are reborn and have the holy spirit to guide us. It is so obvious to me that the devil is winning this war, with so many people by playing with their minds and getting them to question everything and every one in their lives. He hardens the heart, the longer he has our attention and focus. He has no power over God. We give him the power by letting him enter our mind. I think Randy is spot on with his points. We must guard our minds as we would our childrens lives. We must remove people and thoughts from our lives that are not in the will of God, and we must declare who we are, any time the devil enters our mind, by saying, "I rebuke you, Devil, Get behind me, I am the righteousness of God and I declare his power over you through my faith with God's grace. Amen.

  75. Eliminating negative tv was part of my journey but I also needed to change my negative self talk...even when the tv was off I still had negative core beliefs and self talk... So I still had the same results.

    We have 60,000 thoughts per day.... 95% same thoughts every day... 80% of habitual thoughts are negative.

    So most people have more than 45,000 negative thoughts per day.

    I heard that if you look at you current results... Weight, health, debt, success, relationships... That will tell what your core beliefs are... And thoughts come from beliefs... Even ones we aren't aware of... Like self-hate

    Belief -> vision/thoughts/self-talk -> actions -> results

    So if not getting results you want... Maybe have sabotaging actions... From vision/ thoughts/ self-talk ... Which are based on core beliefs

    One example of Sabotaging actions like not exercising, giving up on diets/healthy eating, etc... So never reaching ideal weight and/or maintaining ideal weight

    Thinking we all have programming and if it isn't what we want we can change it

    Maybe some things we can't change like height etc... But some things we can...

    Poverty to prosperity
    Self-hate to self-love

    1. "That's life and there is nothing I can do about it"
      Or
      " it's my choice and there is something I can do about it."

  76. Eliminating negative tv was part of my journey but I also needed to change my negative self talk...even when the tv was off I still had negative core beliefs and self talk... So I still had the same results.

    We have 60,000 thoughts per day.... 95% same thoughts every day... 80% of habitual thoughts are negative.

    So most people have more than 45,000 negative thoughts per day.

    I heard that if you look at you current results... Weight, health, debt, success, relationships... That will tell what your core beliefs are... And thoughts come from beliefs... Even ones we aren't aware of... Like self-hate

    Belief -> vision/thoughts/self-talk -> actions -> results

    So if not getting results you want... Maybe have sabotaging actions... From vision/ thoughts/ self-talk ... Which are based on core beliefs

    One example of Sabotaging actions like not exercising, giving up on diets/healthy eating, etc... So never reaching ideal weight and/or maintaining ideal weight

    Thinking we all have programming and if it isn't what we want we can change it

    Maybe some things we can't change like height etc... But some things we can...

    Poverty to prosperity
    Self-hate to self-love

  77. Hi Randy,
     I am always reading and feeling the power. But I would say  with this post,  the energy is supreme. But who are they after all-the church leaders and the cult leaders and the politicians and the media and the in-laws and the neighbors-?  They better save their own souls and their own kids. Or let them come in my second life and tell me what to do. All their negative emissions of energies cannot reach me this time. I love myself.
    You can count on me.
     
    Many thanks for the post.

  78. Hi Randy,
     I am always reading and feeling the power. But I would say  with this post,  the energy is supreme. But who are they after all-the church leaders and the cult leaders and the politicians and the media and the in-laws and the neighbors-?  They better save their own souls and their own kids. Or let them come in my second life and tell me what to do. All their negative emissions of energies cannot reach me this time. I love myself.
    You can count on me.
     
    Many thanks for the post.

  79.  @Randy_Gage One more thing.  You do demean people, just saying you don't doesn't make it true.  You also say empowering messages, but some of what you say is demeaning.  I wanted to point out that we could be brainwashed negatively by some of what you say as well.
     
    Having said all that, it seems like you are more positive, than you use to be. 

  80. "That's life and there is nothing I can do about it"
    Or
    " it's my choice and there is something I can do about it."

  81. WOW, this is just amazing. You are so right, as always, and have the correct way to open my mind and realize that is now and not later that changes are to happen.
     
    Thank you Randy!

  82. WOW, this is just amazing. You are so right, as always, and have the correct way to open my mind and realize that is now and not later that changes are to happen.
     
    Thank you Randy!

  83. If something inside resists entering this conversation, that is even more reason to go there. Underneath resistance is what you are meant to learn.

  84. If something inside resists entering this conversation, that is even more reason to go there. Underneath resistance is what you are meant to learn.

  85.  @crazykids6 FYI- everyone has the little voices in their heads. The skill is in continually choosing which head conversations to believe and which ones to remember are false. If you understand that this the challenge and gift of being human, then the "struggle" can end and mastery can begin. 

  86. Hey Randy-
    Obviously, from the depth of replies not many people "stopped" reading and you touched a deep cord. I think someone would have to have your head in the sand to NOT believe that there are people in the world who live in fear for their lives because they are different from the "group". This is what feeds all kinds of abuse and genocide globally.
     
    One of the most influential books I read years ago, is Makes Me Wanna Hollar by Nathan McCall http://www.amazon.com/Makes-Me-Wanna-Holler-America/dp/0679740708. It's a hard book to read, but he describes clearly the conversations in his head as he behaved in ways that were appalling. It's a gritty account of how he reacted to the messages of hatred and inequality he faced growing up as a black youth in the southern USA. 
     
    If this will post, here also is a great video from a Jewish "slam poet" known as The Hebrew Mamita. In this one she speaks up about facing up to her own self loathing as she gets " a contact high off someone else's antisemitic crack pipe".  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yAeWyGGTdEE. She can be speaking about any minority groups internal fear, hatred, desire to fit in, etc. 
     
    We all have minds that can be "brainwashed", and are capable of tricky justifications for our behaviors. If we don't remember this is true of all humans,  it's very easy to judge others for their behavior and of course, judge ourselves without even noticing.  Thanks for continually pushing the "wake up" envelope and reminding those who read to "keep questioning" ALL beliefs.
    Loving life,
    Jeanne
     

  87. Hey Randy-
    Obviously, from the depth of replies not many people "stopped" reading and you touched a deep cord. I think someone would have to have your head in the sand to NOT believe that there are people in the world who live in fear for their lives because they are different from the "group". This is what feeds all kinds of abuse and genocide globally.
     
    One of the most influential books I read years ago, is Makes Me Wanna Hollar by Nathan McCall http://www.amazon.com/Makes-Me-Wanna-Holler-America/dp/0679740708. It's a hard book to read, but he describes clearly the conversations in his head as he behaved in ways that were appalling. It's a gritty account of how he reacted to the messages of hatred and inequality he faced growing up as a black youth in the southern USA. 
     
    If this will post, here also is a great video from a Jewish "slam poet" known as The Hebrew Mamita. In this one she speaks up about facing up to her own self loathing as she gets " a contact high off someone else's antisemitic crack pipe".  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yAeWyGGTdEE. She can be speaking about any minority groups internal fear, hatred, desire to fit in, etc. 
     
    We all have minds that can be "brainwashed", and are capable of tricky justifications for our behaviors. If we don't remember this is true of all humans,  it's very easy to judge others for their behavior and of course, judge ourselves without even noticing.  Thanks for continually pushing the "wake up" envelope and reminding those who read to "keep questioning" ALL beliefs.
    Loving life,
    Jeanne
     

  88.  @Randy_Gage Well, Interestingly enough, that is what evangelicals usually say in regards to homosexuality.  You dig that? I don't. 
     
    However, I can't stop being a fan of yours, no matter how much I disagree with you at times.    So, I will hate some of your words but love the man.-Annie 😉

  89.  @Randy_Gage  @Annieb This may open a can of worms, but I know a minister who uses this phrase in reference to Gays. I always hear it as his "enlightened" way to judge those he is afraid of. If sin means "to miss to mark" then why "hate' the sin. Isn't it better to acknowledge it and then choose another path for the future? Hence the word "repent"-to turn away from.  Takes the judgement away. JK
     

  90. GREAT post, Randy!!
    I very much loved to read it - up here in Charleston S.C.
     
    Unfortunately when being back in my home country from Europe we get to hear about Turkish women (on TV news) who were killed by their brothers because they wanted to marry a German (non muslim) guy......
    crazy....
     

  91. GREAT post, Randy!!
    I very much loved to read it - up here in Charleston S.C.
     
    Unfortunately when being back in my home country from Europe we get to hear about Turkish women (on TV news) who were killed by their brothers because they wanted to marry a German (non muslim) guy......
    crazy....
     

  92. Randy, this is the best you've written in a while, probably since your one about HIV. I feel that it comes from somewhere deep in your heart, from a place of real knowing.

  93. Randy, this is the best you've written in a while, probably since your one about AIDS. I feel that it comes from somewhere deep in your heart, from a place of real knowing. I love it.

  94. Randy, this is the best you've written in a while, probably since your one about AIDS. I feel that it comes from somewhere deep in your heart, from a place of real knowing. I love it.

  95. Yes self hate is a path to poverty. I have many friends and people who have hated the world. I do love them but i have not stronger to demean their negative belief. In your post, i experienced the story of other people who are victim and my story too. Poverty is a sin, i know it. Because I know how demeaning and how hard it is to be in poverty. How hard to eat only a meal a day, how hard to level me as poor as a rat, until I know i hated the world for unfair treatment. But as far as i know, I was in sin. I started to circulate my value, i started to become stronger, i started to make arts, make money, clean my soul. Tough i have many bad experience when i was in poverty, I started them to move out in my life. Until one day, I realized I sinned that I wasted my energy in poverty, i wasted my low level vision in poverty, I forgave my self. and walk to the path of success. 
     

  96. Yes self hate is a path to poverty. I have many friends and people who have hated the world. I do love them but i have not stronger to demean their negative belief. In your post, i experienced the story of other people who are victim and my story too. Poverty is a sin, i know it. Because I know how demeaning and how hard it is to be in poverty. How hard to eat only a meal a day, how hard to level me as poor as a rat, until I know i hated the world for unfair treatment. But as far as i know, I was in sin. I started to circulate my value, i started to become stronger, i started to make arts, make money, clean my soul. Tough i have many bad experience when i was in poverty, I started them to move out in my life. Until one day, I realized I sinned that I wasted my energy in poverty, i wasted my low level vision in poverty, I forgave my self. and walk to the path of success. 
     

  97. "We were poor but didn't know it"

    Could also be:
    We were fat but didn't know it.
    We were in debt but didn't know it.
    We were sick but didn't know it.
    We were _______ but didn't know it.

    Core belief... We hated ourselves but didn't know it.

  98. "We were poor but didn't know it"

    Could also be:
    We were fat but didn't know it.
    We were in debt but didn't know it.
    We were sick but didn't know it.
    We were _______ but didn't know it.

    Core belief... We hated ourselves but didn't know it.

  99. Randy,
    Your blog is the first place that I ever heard the term "mind virus" and ever since I have been aware of the viruses in my mind aka limiting beliefs. And yes they subconsciously control our behavior of what we do and how we live our lives.
     
    I am not always aware of what thoughts I am having or what thoughts are being implanted in me but I am always aware of what I am feeling. If something is making me feel low, bad, or disconnected to the all then it surely is a mind virus in action.
     
    I believe that we all have the right to be free to be who we are and to express our own individuality. If we all acted and thought the same the World would become a boring and predictable place to live.

  100. Randy,
    Your blog is the first place that I ever heard the term "mind virus" and ever since I have been aware of the viruses in my mind aka limiting beliefs. And yes they subconsciously control our behavior of what we do and how we live our lives.
     
    I am not always aware of what thoughts I am having or what thoughts are being implanted in me but I am always aware of what I am feeling. If something is making me feel low, bad, or disconnected to the all then it surely is a mind virus in action.
     
    I believe that we all have the right to be free to be who we are and to express our own individuality. If we all acted and thought the same the World would become a boring and predictable place to live.

  101. Thinking judgments are fears... The opposite of love... Maybe hate.

    And thinking a big part of them goes back to our childhood... Protecting our families beliefs or vows... Our families way... Maybe our family way is our religion.

    So in a way we are defending hate when we judge/hate/fear... It is not love.

    "the work" by Byron Katie has you write out all your judgments and ask a few simple questions... And turn it around.

    If you turn it around ... It is self-judgment, fear,hate.

    Love your neighbor as yourself...

    Or hate your neighbor as yourself.

    It is our choice.

    I choose love 🙂

  102. Thinking judgments are fears... The opposite of love... Maybe hate.

    And thinking a big part of them goes back to our childhood... Protecting our families beliefs or vows... Our families way... Maybe our family way is our religion.

    So in a way we are defending hate when we judge/hate/fear... It is not love.

    "the work" by Byron Katie has you write out all your judgments and ask a few simple questions... And turn it around.

    If you turn it around ... It is self-judgment, fear,hate.

    Love your neighbor as yourself...

    Or hate your neighbor as yourself.

    It is our choice.

    I choose love 🙂

  103. This is the most important conversation we need to be having with each other in our world today. I am so happy I woke up to this today. Thank you. Powerful. I can't help thinking about that poor boy who jumped off the bridge because his room mate was secretly recording him. An article in the Post the other day said that when he came out to his mom she was very disappointed in him because her other son was gay, too. Apparently he was feeling deep sadness about that around the time of his suicide. I was brainwashed in so many ways by my family. Almost everything I learned from them is pure garbage. Especially the use of credit cards and the accumulation of debt. My mother opened credit card accounts in my sister's name and ran up debt on those, too. The original purchase price on her house when she bought it from my grandparents was $58,000 back in the late 70's. Now it has a mortgage of $350,000 that will never be paid off in her life time. She refinanced so many times. Talk about crazy ideas. Her payment is $2500.00 a month! And she is 73 years old and cleans houses.  Part of her craziness is that she still thinks she is smarter than everyone. So you can't talk to her about reality, she gets insanely defensive and turns it right back onto me or whoever is questioning her.  I recently had dinner with her and my younger sister, who asked me for the telephone number of a med student who I suggested she might like to meet. When my mother heard that he was working and going to med school her response was "forget him, he won't have any money". That is just one example of the CRAZY ass brainwashing that I grew up with. I can't stand that type of sick materialism and that is all the members of my family value.  I am all for money and becoming successful. I really hope to do so, but on my own through my own work.  Unfortunately that is not what I learned growing up.

  104. This is the most important conversation we need to be having with each other in our world today. I am so happy I woke up to this today. Thank you. Powerful. I can't help thinking about that poor boy who jumped off the bridge because his room mate was secretly recording him. An article in the Post the other day said that when he came out to his mom she was very disappointed in him because her other son was gay, too. Apparently he was feeling deep sadness about that around the time of his suicide. I was brainwashed in so many ways by my family. Almost everything I learned from them is pure garbage. Especially the use of credit cards and the accumulation of debt. My mother opened credit card accounts in my sister's name and ran up debt on those, too. The original purchase price on her house when she bought it from my grandparents was $58,000 back in the late 70's. Now it has a mortgage of $350,000 that will never be paid off in her life time. She refinanced so many times. Talk about crazy ideas. Her payment is $2500.00 a month! And she is 73 years old and cleans houses.  Part of her craziness is that she still thinks she is smarter than everyone. So you can't talk to her about reality, she gets insanely defensive and turns it right back onto me or whoever is questioning her.  I recently had dinner with her and my younger sister, who asked me for the telephone number of a med student who I suggested she might like to meet. When my mother heard that he was working and going to med school her response was "forget him, he won't have any money". That is just one example of the CRAZY ass brainwashing that I grew up with. I can't stand that type of sick materialism and that is all the members of my family value.  I am all for money and becoming successful. I really hope to do so, but on my own through my own work.  Unfortunately that is not what I learned growing up.

  105. Randy, I agree with what you say, about gays especially.The gay community really does hate itself: unobtainable views of physical perfection (living in the gym for most of my life, isn't something I want to do), worships youth WAY more than it should, and encourages a very hedonistic lifestyle. (Sex, drugs, alcohol, overspending to impress potential partners, etc). Don't even get me started on the numerous straight people who still don't have a clue that it is who we are, not what we choose, and BS most of us grow up with because we have to hide.Being healthy and successful is one thing, but man, we're one of the biggest, most insane groups of men on the planet. Might as well be insane in constructive ways 😀 

  106. Randy, I agree with what you say, about gays especially.The gay community really does hate itself: unobtainable views of physical perfection (living in the gym for most of my life, isn't something I want to do), worships youth WAY more than it should, and encourages a very hedonistic lifestyle. (Sex, drugs, alcohol, overspending to impress potential partners, etc). Don't even get me started on the numerous straight people who still don't have a clue that it is who we are, not what we choose, and BS most of us grow up with because we have to hide.Being healthy and successful is one thing, but man, we're one of the biggest, most insane groups of men on the planet. Might as well be insane in constructive ways 😀 

  107. I don't understand how someone who is supposed to be a "prosperity guru" can dispute that being ruled by your desires is a choice. Gay, straight, confused or otherwise. If your sexuality defines you, you have much work to do on claiming your personal power. We all have desires, sexual and otherwise. ACTING on them is always a choice.

  108. I don't understand how someone who is supposed to be a "prosperity guru" can dispute that being ruled by your desires is a choice. Gay, straight, confused or otherwise. If your sexuality defines you, you have much work to do on claiming your personal power. We all have desires, sexual and otherwise. ACTING on them is always a choice.

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  • 216 comments on “Self-Hate”

    1. Hi Randy
      This was an excellent post. I could go on all day about it, but I will not! The more I get into my personal development work, the more I realize how much crap I have taken in my whole life that has affected my outcomes up until this point. So many things are truly matters of preference and opinion, not cold hard fact, but it gets so deeply ingrained that we begin to see things in terms of right or wrong, when in reality it has nothing to do with that. I do agree that religion is the biggest perpetrator of them all. I do believe that we are all connected by some underlying energy, an energy that we can tap into and create our ideal circumstances. As for the idea of this superhuman man in the sky that has laid out ground rules and punishes those who are ''bad'', I do not believe in that. I really try to be tolerant of other people's beliefs but when I see the harm some of theses beliefs cause -- like starving third world masses who are told it is evil to use birth control and harboring so much hate towards people different than us, it can get quite frustrating. I do my best to focus on my life and making it the best it can be and helping who I can. Directing my attention towards all the junk will produce nothing useful to me. This was truly an exceptional post. 

    2. Hi Randy
      This was an excellent post. I could go on all day about it, but I will not! The more I get into my personal development work, the more I realize how much crap I have taken in my whole life that has affected my outcomes up until this point. So many things are truly matters of preference and opinion, not cold hard fact, but it gets so deeply ingrained that we begin to see things in terms of right or wrong, when in reality it has nothing to do with that. I do agree that religion is the biggest perpetrator of them all. I do believe that we are all connected by some underlying energy, an energy that we can tap into and create our ideal circumstances. As for the idea of this superhuman man in the sky that has laid out ground rules and punishes those who are ''bad'', I do not believe in that. I really try to be tolerant of other people's beliefs but when I see the harm some of theses beliefs cause -- like starving third world masses who are told it is evil to use birth control and harboring so much hate towards people different than us, it can get quite frustrating. I do my best to focus on my life and making it the best it can be and helping who I can. Directing my attention towards all the junk will produce nothing useful to me. This was truly an exceptional post. 

    3. Randy, I don't know what to say.  I am so glad in your post you are championing tolerance.  I think.  I am not sure.  I think you are but then, I think you should let people draw their own conclusions, instead of insulting the groups that you disagree with.
       
      You know, I am 100 pages away from finishing Ayn Rand's Novel.  That has been an emotional roller coaster ride for me.  Whoa.  I like her.  I don't really think she was coming from an unbiased stand point.  Yeah, no duh, I know, when the bolsheviks destroy your family it is difficult to remain neutral on political and social subjects.  Although,  you don't have to remain unforgiving and bitter.  Unfortunately, I think she did.  It is too bad, otherwise she may have had more of an impact.
       
      Do you get that?  For someone rational she made all kinds of errors of logic.  Don't be so sure you hold the market on truth and critical thinking.  Brainwashing honestly is one of your sports as well.
       
      Anyways, I still think you are great.  I also think Ayn Rand would have been a brilliant psychologist.  Some of the things she wrote in "Atlas Shrugged" about interpersonal relationships is so right on.  I learned a lot from her and you.

    4. Simply fantastic Randy. This post generated so much good stuff being contemplated...my whole morning has been derailed! Lol.
      Thanks my friend.

      -Sean

    5. Simply fantastic Randy. This post generated so much good stuff being contemplated...my whole morning has been derailed! Lol.
      Thanks my friend.

      -Sean

    6. O-M-G Randy!!!! This is GOOD STUFF, bro!  It's at this point, I would stand up in the crowded room and give you a standing ovation!! Why? It's simple... you are ABSOLUTELY right! Other people will have an individual thinking that they aren't meant to have the God given air they breath if that individual allowed other people to do so. I know from experience... been there, done that... writing a book, as we speak, about it. As I mentioned yesterday, I know exactly what you're talking about, because I was a victim of it for years.. heck, most of my life... all of my life! Even to this day, I have family members that live in the same city I currently live in that haven't been to my house in a year and a half; either because I'm gay, or because my partner of 5 years is white. I don't know which it actually is, but whatever the reason may be, they have decided that I'm not important enough to them to see pass the choices I've made. Although, at first it hurt my feelings, I'm totally cool with it now. As a matter of fact, at one point I found myself sucking it all up and going to their house instead; just to appease them and make them comfortable. Reality set in about five months ago, and I had a serious Aha moment. I asked myself, "Why are you continuing to let someone else (family or not) make you feel like what you are doing is wrong, if you don't believe it is?" It just didn't make much sense to me. So guess what I did? I stopped! Immediately! I haven't seen any of them since Thanksgiving. I love them dearly, but I love me and my happiness so much more. I only share this intimate part of my life, because I believe it will help someone else to get past their beliefs, that they have to endure such abuse because it's coming from family or close friends. Uh uh, stop doing that to yourself not! It's abuse! And you don't deserve that type of abuse from anyone; ESPECIALLY not from those that are supposed to love you. If we put ourselves through that type abuse continually, those that do it, will continue to abuse us. At some point, we have to make an intelligent decision and show people how we will be treated. We have to set the standard of how we demand respect for ourselves, and in turn they will receive the same exact respect that we are asking for. I had to become aware that I was allowing this behavior to take place, by going along with the demands they put upon me. If we allow people to manipulate us, we can't really get upset when they actually do it. It's that simple. I could certainly go on, because this is some good truth here you've given, Randy! 😀 And yes, you nailed it about the gay community as well... I'm a witness there too. I was doing exactly what you shared in the post. But as soon as I got a clue as to what was taking place, I was able to free myself up of the "drama", and find one individual that shares with me the love I give to him in return. Loved this bro!  PREACH!!! I loved every single word of this post! Gooooood stuff! Thank you so much for sharing this! 

    7. O-M-G Randy!!!! This is GOOD STUFF, bro!  It's at this point, I would stand up in the crowded room and give you a standing ovation!! Why? It's simple... you are ABSOLUTELY right! Other people will have an individual thinking that they aren't meant to have the God given air they breath if that individual allowed other people to do so. I know from experience... been there, done that... writing a book, as we speak, about it. As I mentioned yesterday, I know exactly what you're talking about, because I was a victim of it for years.. heck, most of my life... all of my life! Even to this day, I have family members that live in the same city I currently live in that haven't been to my house in a year and a half; either because I'm gay, or because my partner of 5 years is white. I don't know which it actually is, but whatever the reason may be, they have decided that I'm not important enough to them to see pass the choices I've made. Although, at first it hurt my feelings, I'm totally cool with it now. As a matter of fact, at one point I found myself sucking it all up and going to their house instead; just to appease them and make them comfortable. Reality set in about five months ago, and I had a serious Aha moment. I asked myself, "Why are you continuing to let someone else (family or not) make you feel like what you are doing is wrong, if you don't believe it is?" It just didn't make much sense to me. So guess what I did? I stopped! Immediately! I haven't seen any of them since Thanksgiving. I love them dearly, but I love me and my happiness so much more. I only share this intimate part of my life, because I believe it will help someone else to get past their beliefs, that they have to endure such abuse because it's coming from family or close friends. Uh uh, stop doing that to yourself not! It's abuse! And you don't deserve that type of abuse from anyone; ESPECIALLY not from those that are supposed to love you. If we put ourselves through that type abuse continually, those that do it, will continue to abuse us. At some point, we have to make an intelligent decision and show people how we will be treated. We have to set the standard of how we demand respect for ourselves, and in turn they will receive the same exact respect that we are asking for. I had to become aware that I was allowing this behavior to take place, by going along with the demands they put upon me. If we allow people to manipulate us, we can't really get upset when they actually do it. It's that simple. I could certainly go on, because this is some good truth here you've given, Randy! 😀 And yes, you nailed it about the gay community as well... I'm a witness there too. I was doing exactly what you shared in the post. But as soon as I got a clue as to what was taking place, I was able to free myself up of the "drama", and find one individual that shares with me the love I give to him in return. Loved this bro!  PREACH!!! I loved every single word of this post! Gooooood stuff! Thank you so much for sharing this! 

    8. This is what is called, "Hitting the nail on the head !!" , there is just too much incorrect programming from day one. I used the word incorrect instead of right because of the choice is ultimately for us to do the right and correct thing. Please continue to share, you are making a difference Randy, cheers 🙂

    9. This is what is called, "Hitting the nail on the head !!" , there is just too much incorrect programming from day one. I used the word incorrect instead of right because of the choice is ultimately for us to do the right and correct thing. Please continue to share, you are making a difference Randy, cheers 🙂

    10. Wow...this hit home. As an abused child of every possible abuse one can endure, I struggle with the little voices ALL...THE...TIME. Thanks for this!

      1.  @crazykids6 FYI- everyone has the little voices in their heads. The skill is in continually choosing which head conversations to believe and which ones to remember are false. If you understand that this the challenge and gift of being human, then the "struggle" can end and mastery can begin. 

    11. Wow...this hit home. As an abused child of every possible abuse one can endure, I struggle with the little voices ALL...THE...TIME. Thanks for this!

    12. It is really easier to hate yourself than to put in the work to really love yourself.  Personally, I think it is worth the time and effort to love yourself.

    13. It is really easier to hate yourself than to put in the work to really love yourself.  Personally, I think it is worth the time and effort to love yourself.

    14. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-india-17395459 - Sad this happened 🙁 
       
      Even i have been called names, "You are not worthy" types, bullied and harassed ... But by and large tried to remain sane. Have shouted out in anger but often people mistake it for frustration 🙂 idiots ... Thanks Randy. You just don't know how much you are helping me 

    15. Great, passionate post Randy. One point of clarification. I'm LDS (Mormon) and our church does NOT believe that being gay "disqualifies gay people from God’s grace." Everyone qualifies for God's grace. Please don't lump people into stereotypes without knowing what they really believe. 🙂

      I believe in Jesus Christ who said love everyone. Period. No exceptions.

    16.  I know what you mean because I was discriminated for living in a "poor (dangerous) neighborhood". In order to overcome that feeling I wrote the affirmation... "I am proud of my house.  I am grateful for the neigborhood where I am living now"

    17.  I know what you mean because I was discriminated for living in a "poor (dangerous) neighborhood". In order to overcome that feeling I wrote the affirmation... "I am proud of my house.  I am grateful for the neigborhood where I am living now"

    18. These are examples of outside influeces but the most important and permament emotional self-limiting beliefs I have found in myself is the LINK  I created in my childhood when it reaity it wasn't true.  Until those emotional self-definitions are not question,the beliefs won't change.
       
         As for the outside influences as for the role of goverment:You can a libertarian and be a billionaire  like the Koch brothers or a Social Democrat (a perojative term by the right:Welfare State) and be a billlionarie too like George Soros and the Swedish Billionarie.

      1. And of course,you can a English high school teacher,never make a lot of money and live a happy,fufilled life.

    19. These are examples of outside influeces but the most important and permament emotional self-limiting beliefs I have found in myself is the LINK  I created in my childhood when it reaity it wasn't true.  Until those emotional self-definitions are not question,the beliefs won't change.
       
         As for the outside influences as for the role of goverment:You can a libertarian and be a billionaire  like the Koch brothers or a Social Democrat (a perojative term by the right:Welfare State) and be a billlionarie too like George Soros and the Swedish Billionarie.

    20. I am a bit speechless...This is amazing insite to mind viruses..I have a ways to go yet!!  there is freedom in love!!  And judgement in mind viruses..what more can be said than what was written..amen!!

    21. I am a bit speechless...This is amazing insite to mind viruses..I have a ways to go yet!!  there is freedom in love!!  And judgement in mind viruses..what more can be said than what was written..amen!!

    22. I grew up poor as a church mouse, so to speak, but my Dad told me before I ever started going to school, that if I allowed someone to push me around for any reason, then I deserved to have my ass kicked by that person. But, if I stood up for myself and did get into a fight because of it, no matter if I won or lost, he would back me up all the way. So, I never allowed anyone to tell me that I was not good enough, or that I just didn't meet their standards. It wasn't their standards I was trying to meet. It was my standards.
       
      The point being that it has to start at home, with parents that are willing to stand behind what they teach their children. If they don't teach their children how to live in this world, just who do they expect to do it? School? To many to a classroom to help a single child. Church? You must conform to their way of thinking.. The government? Suicide. It has to start at home, before school, so the child knows what to do when approached by a bully. The child has to have a foundation to stand on and parents willing to back up what they teach their child.

    23. I grew up poor as a church mouse, so to speak, but my Dad told me before I ever started going to school, that if I allowed someone to push me around for any reason, then I deserved to have my ass kicked by that person. But, if I stood up for myself and did get into a fight because of it, no matter if I won or lost, he would back me up all the way. So, I never allowed anyone to tell me that I was not good enough, or that I just didn't meet their standards. It wasn't their standards I was trying to meet. It was my standards.
       
      The point being that it has to start at home, with parents that are willing to stand behind what they teach their children. If they don't teach their children how to live in this world, just who do they expect to do it? School? To many to a classroom to help a single child. Church? You must conform to their way of thinking.. The government? Suicide. It has to start at home, before school, so the child knows what to do when approached by a bully. The child has to have a foundation to stand on and parents willing to back up what they teach their child.

    24. Oh @Randy_Gage, my dear, I'm infected with Self-Love since ages,never had  time for Self- Hate, maybe later, when I get 30 years older, with  87 😉 Hugssssss

    25. Oh @Randy_Gage, my dear, I'm infected with Self-Love since ages,never had  time for Self- Hate, maybe later, when I get 30 years older, with  87 😉 Hugssssss

    26. Great post Randy. I'm one of the fortunate ones - my parents instilled in me the belief that others may hold opinions and beliefs as they will, but that it was my own opinion and belief in myself that was primary. Sadly, I've seen countless people fall victim to just what you've illustrated here. The first step is to recognize and acknowledge that it's happening - many don't even know they're falling victim to outsiders' mind viruses.

    27. Great post Randy. I'm one of the fortunate ones - my parents instilled in me the belief that others may hold opinions and beliefs as they will, but that it was my own opinion and belief in myself that was primary. Sadly, I've seen countless people fall victim to just what you've illustrated here. The first step is to recognize and acknowledge that it's happening - many don't even know they're falling victim to outsiders' mind viruses.

    28. I am so utterly weary of the selfconvincing platitudes about poverty being some morally superior virtue. I mean: if you want to be poor, then great; it's not my right or responsibility to stop you. But the chauvinism I see in these sanctimonious mendicants suggesting that socioeconomic and ethical superiority are somehow mutually exclusive is deplorable at best.
       
      I started out rich. Wasn't my fault. Not that I ever felt guilty about it; I still don't. And I did go over to other kids' houses, several blocks away in the comparative slums [no one I knew was really poor; one family were impoverished to the extent that they had only two cars, one of them a used Porsche], and looked at what they had not with a sense of shame but of perplexity. I got back home once and asked why the people a mile away didn't just make more money; Dad's answer was stupidly simple: not everyone's able to.
       
      That gave me the idea that the ability to make money was similar [in cases identical] to any other uncommon trait people might have: good at basketball, fast at math, or whatever. Like it was a basic natural idiosyncrasy which could probably be developed through whatever practice and education, but started out the same as being tall or short or smart or stupid.
       
      From what I've seen since, I've concluded that I was pretty much right about all that. How to make money can be taught; why to make money seems too obvious to debate, but there's always room for discussion. But, at the same time, some of us are naturally better at setting whatever goal and sprinting relentlessly toward it [at the risk of giving the impecunious narcissists yet more fuel, there's a term for the ability to go ceaselessly after what you want; that term is sociopathy].
       
      As for religion and its intrinsic hatred: I don't disagree at all. But I've actually already ranted enough about that to build a career already, so I'll drop the subject for now.

      1.  @GremlinNet the other argument is making money or becoming a millionarie or creating residual income is going to make happy.

    29. I am so utterly weary of the selfconvincing platitudes about poverty being some morally superior virtue. I mean: if you want to be poor, then great; it's not my right or responsibility to stop you. But the chauvinism I see in these sanctimonious mendicants suggesting that socioeconomic and ethical superiority are somehow mutually exclusive is deplorable at best.
       
      I started out rich. Wasn't my fault. Not that I ever felt guilty about it; I still don't. And I did go over to other kids' houses, several blocks away in the comparative slums [no one I knew was really poor; one family were impoverished to the extent that they had only two cars, one of them a used Porsche], and looked at what they had not with a sense of shame but of perplexity. I got back home once and asked why the people a mile away didn't just make more money; Dad's answer was stupidly simple: not everyone's able to.
       
      That gave me the idea that the ability to make money was similar [in cases identical] to any other uncommon trait people might have: good at basketball, fast at math, or whatever. Like it was a basic natural idiosyncrasy which could probably be developed through whatever practice and education, but started out the same as being tall or short or smart or stupid.
       
      From what I've seen since, I've concluded that I was pretty much right about all that. How to make money can be taught; why to make money seems too obvious to debate, but there's always room for discussion. But, at the same time, some of us are naturally better at setting whatever goal and sprinting relentlessly toward it [at the risk of giving the impecunious narcissists yet more fuel, there's a term for the ability to go ceaselessly after what you want; that term is sociopathy].
       
      As for religion and its intrinsic hatred: I don't disagree at all. But I've actually already ranted enough about that to build a career already, so I'll drop the subject for now.

    30. Good blog post... although there are soo many better examples of self hate and self sabatoge other than blaming religion, government and school teachers which all can also work to empower you. People self sabotage themselves with substance abuse everyday...people also self sabotage themselves in their jobs or businesses b/c of their beliefs about themselves. It sounds like a cheap shot to blame religion...like if you were just trying to say what the masses want to hear.

      1.  @MS70silverangel I would agree that there are plenty of other causes.  But the biggest cause I see in the people I work with is programming from organized religion.  -RG

        1.  @Randy_Gage Well you obviously have alot more experience in dealing with people and their issues... all i can say is religion is something very impowering in my life...is it possible that there are other issues that people have that conflict with what organized religions preach?

          1.  @MS70silverangel It may surprise you to know that religion is very empowering in my life as well.  But that has come as the result of many years of study, critical thinking and discernment, to come to beliefs which are healthy and serve me.  - RG

    31. Good blog post... although there are soo many better examples of self hate and self sabatoge other than blaming religion, government and school teachers which all can also work to empower you. People self sabotage themselves with substance abuse everyday...people also self sabotage themselves in their jobs or businesses b/c of their beliefs about themselves. It sounds like a cheap shot to blame religion...like if you were just trying to say what the masses want to hear.

    32. Self hate is easily medicated with drugs, alcohol and especially food.  Once you learn to love yourself there is still work to do.  How many people do not believe they are 'worthy' of ................... add what just popped into your mind.
       
      You are the best Randy.  Thank you for making a difference!

    33. Self hate is easily medicated with drugs, alcohol and especially food.  Once you learn to love yourself there is still work to do.  How many people do not believe they are 'worthy' of ................... add what just popped into your mind.
       
      You are the best Randy.  Thank you for making a difference!

    34.  @MS70silverangel I would agree that there are plenty of other causes.  But the biggest cause I see in the people I work with is programming from organized religion.  -RG

    35.  @GremlinNet the other argument is making money or becoming a millionarie or creating residual income is going to make happy.

    36. And of course,you can a English high school teacher,never make a lot of money and live a happy,fufilled life.

    37.  @Randy_Gage Well you obviously have alot more experience in dealing with people and their issues... all i can say is religion is something very impowering in my life...is it possible that there are other issues that people have that conflict with what organized religions preach?

    38. The most complicated of these are the ones we wear like skin - infected so early and worn so long that they have woven nearly into the cellular structure until they are perceived. Keep'em coming, Randy!

    39. The most complicated of these are the ones we wear like skin - infected so early and worn so long that they have woven nearly into the cellular structure until they are perceived. Keep'em coming, Randy!

    40. That is so sad to have weirdo religion practise teaching such self hate of that these individuals. Religion is being perverted by individuals. God does not hate Gays... that is people teaching hatred n twisting it in the name if God, Allah,... When I want change after years of struggling I look n ask for people who r where I want to b. Hating yrself

    41. That is so sad to have weirdo religion practise teaching such self hate of that these individuals. Religion is being perverted by individuals. God does not hate Gays... that is people teaching hatred n twisting it in the name if God, Allah,... When I want change after years of struggling I look n ask for people who r where I want to b. Hating yrself

    42. This is the most powerful, so true, greatest blog i EVER READ so far.......  Amazing critical thinking You Inspire me Randy!

    43. This is the most powerful, so true, greatest blog i EVER READ so far.......  Amazing critical thinking You Inspire me Randy!

    44. Brilliant read.  This is such an important topic to help people get un-stuck and un-stoppable.  

    45. Brilliant read.  This is such an important topic to help people get un-stuck and un-stoppable.  

    46. Very profound comments Randy and I couldn't agree with you more. I stopped reading newspapers, listening to new on TV (or even watching TV) and disengaged from organized religion many years ago. Since I was brought up in the Jewish traditions, which are rife with GUILT and judgement, I couldn't relate even as a teen. Yes, the memes are everywhere and as you say, it's up to us to decipher what does and does not serve our Higher Good. Thanks for posting

    47. Very profound comments Randy and I couldn't agree with you more. I stopped reading newspapers, listening to new on TV (or even watching TV) and disengaged from organized religion many years ago. Since I was brought up in the Jewish traditions, which are rife with GUILT and judgement, I couldn't relate even as a teen. Yes, the memes are everywhere and as you say, it's up to us to decipher what does and does not serve our Higher Good. Thanks for posting

    48. You said you don’t expect all this to generate a lot of agreement and amens but I gotta tell ya I was nodding my head, laughing and saying Amen a lot as I read this.
       
      As for the extra part of the article, the part that wouldn't have made the cut if this were an article in a newspaper... All I want to say is how cool is it that we have the internet now!?
       
      Great post and another perfect example of why I tune in.

    49. You said you don’t expect all this to generate a lot of agreement and amens but I gotta tell ya I was nodding my head, laughing and saying Amen a lot as I read this.
       
      As for the extra part of the article, the part that wouldn't have made the cut if this were an article in a newspaper... All I want to say is how cool is it that we have the internet now!?
       
      Great post and another perfect example of why I tune in.

    50. Randy, you are really starting to impact me with all your blogs and videos.  Today I was at a meeting and someone was saying how much they were offended by wealthy people and who did they think they were to have that wealth. 
       
      In the past, pre-Randy I would have listened and thought...hmmm interesting,  But today the first thing I thought was MIND VIRUS.  Yep.  I totally got it and discounted it.  So I am really appreciative of all your great work.  Thank you so much.  Have a great weekend.  ~Karen Marie

    51. Randy, you are really starting to impact me with all your blogs and videos.  Today I was at a meeting and someone was saying how much they were offended by wealthy people and who did they think they were to have that wealth. 
       
      In the past, pre-Randy I would have listened and thought...hmmm interesting,  But today the first thing I thought was MIND VIRUS.  Yep.  I totally got it and discounted it.  So I am really appreciative of all your great work.  Thank you so much.  Have a great weekend.  ~Karen Marie

    52. @Bille I agree hating only hurts you and the people around you. love you and the world will love you. Giving value to you first, so you can give it the world.

    53. @Bille I agree hating only hurts you and the people around you. love you and the world will love you. Giving value to you first, so you can give it the world.

    54. This article captured the essence of judgmental and dysfunctional. we are conditioned as children, as adults we hope to grow in decisions, beliefs and wisdom. Very good perception. Especially the extended portion.

    55. This article captured the essence of judgmental and dysfunctional. we are conditioned as children, as adults we hope to grow in decisions, beliefs and wisdom. Very good perception. Especially the extended portion.

    56. Randy, you have told everyone they are a "sinner" if they are not wealthy.  That is really not empowering to anyone.  You have eluded that we are not critical thinkers unless we agree with you on politics and most of what Ayn Rand has written. (And you never tell us what it is you disagree with) 
       
      I wrote a post earlier, but I didn't really like it so I am writing another one.  I really agree with you on everything in this post.  Here is what bothers me though.  You have said it is a sin to be poor, you in this article call other people's beliefs "crazy shit".  Sorry Randy, but these are not comments that will generate self worth.  They will more than likely generate a feeling of superiority in those reading this.  Since, you separate those of us who listen to you from the rest of the world.  Then it will generate hate for those who have messages you disagree with.
       
      I believe what you have said is in empowering and will make people want to believe in themselves, it does me. 🙂  However, those feeling of self worth can be difficult to attain once lost.  So, let's have mercy on those who it may take awhile to see the light.
       
      Also, you make  a really good case for entitlements.  Oops, that's not what you wanted I am sure, however, I think that the hate and prejudice and injustice minorities and other groups have had to face are actually a good reason to maintain a social safety net.  Do you think those who are prejudiced and hated find it as easy as one blog post to turn their lives around? To go find a career to bring them wealth beyond their imaginations, in a country that mostly hates them?  I think not.  It will do it for some, so bless you for that, but for others that assault on their person will take longer to get over, especially as the prejudice still continues to this day.
       
      Thank you though for your brave and encouraging post.  But, Randy really some people who disagree with you  on religion and politics are not full of crazy shit ideas.  And honestly, though I really admire you, I think some of your ideas could be considered "crazy shit" as well.
       

      1.  @Annieb I did not call anyone a sinner, I said poverty is a sin.  I did not call people any names, I called behavior and beliefs that are dysfunctional crazy shit.  This is a very important distinction.  I am not demeaning people, but I am very forcefully demeaning beliefs that will keep them broke, unhealthy or unhealthy.  Or even dead.  So I use strong language, but with discernment.  -RG

        1.  @Randy_Gage That is illogical.  Poverty is a sin, but not the impoverished.  Like war is a sin, but not those who started it?  Murder is a sin but not those who do it?  Okay, here is where we need to think critically.  What you are saying is absurd, or you are saying that it is someone other than the person who is impoverished that caused their poverty.
           
          I applaud you however on demeaning unhealthy beliefs.  I think that is noble.  I really do Randy.  But, logic and reason are not something you can escape.

        2.  @Randy_Gage I have a PS.  I think you are really brave to take on the dysfunctional beliefs we have about homosexuality and other sexual diversity issues.  It really is brave, and I admire you tons for that. 
           
          I wish for a day when we could have a healthy attitude towards all sexuality.  On that one I totally agree that Religion has caused most, if not all of that dysfunction.  And, as far as Christ was concerned he did not make judgements of that nature.  Christianity has been twisted to create that particular prejudice.
           
          I think the man who is afraid he would be killed if he spoke of his homosexuality, by members of his family, must feel alienated, alone and an abomination to God.  I hope he doesn't, but you asked how we would feel and I believe that is how I would feel.
           
          Years ago I was reading Freud's "Case History of Dora", and I remember that it was his belief that all people had an element of bisexuality to them.  Freud may have been wrong about some things, but sometimes he was absolutely right.

        3.  @Randy_Gage One more thing.  You do demean people, just saying you don't doesn't make it true.  You also say empowering messages, but some of what you say is demeaning.  I wanted to point out that we could be brainwashed negatively by some of what you say as well.
           
          Having said all that, it seems like you are more positive, than you use to be. 

          1.  @Randy_Gage Well, Interestingly enough, that is what evangelicals usually say in regards to homosexuality.  You dig that? I don't. 
             
            However, I can't stop being a fan of yours, no matter how much I disagree with you at times.    So, I will hate some of your words but love the man.-Annie 😉

          2.  @Randy_Gage  @Annieb This may open a can of worms, but I know a minister who uses this phrase in reference to Gays. I always hear it as his "enlightened" way to judge those he is afraid of. If sin means "to miss to mark" then why "hate' the sin. Isn't it better to acknowledge it and then choose another path for the future? Hence the word "repent"-to turn away from.  Takes the judgement away. JK
             

    57. Randy, you have told everyone they are a "sinner" if they are not wealthy.  That is really not empowering to anyone.  You have eluded that we are not critical thinkers unless we agree with you on politics and most of what Ayn Rand has written. (And you never tell us what it is you disagree with) 
       
      I wrote a post earlier, but I didn't really like it so I am writing another one.  I really agree with you on everything in this post.  Here is what bothers me though.  You have said it is a sin to be poor, you in this article call other people's beliefs "crazy shit".  Sorry Randy, but these are not comments that will generate self worth.  They will more than likely generate a feeling of superiority in those reading this.  Since, you separate those of us who listen to you from the rest of the world.  Then it will generate hate for those who have messages you disagree with.
       
      I believe what you have said is in empowering and will make people want to believe in themselves, it does me. 🙂  However, those feeling of self worth can be difficult to attain once lost.  So, let's have mercy on those who it may take awhile to see the light.
       
      Also, you make  a really good case for entitlements.  Oops, that's not what you wanted I am sure, however, I think that the hate and prejudice and injustice minorities and other groups have had to face are actually a good reason to maintain a social safety net.  Do you think those who are prejudiced and hated find it as easy as one blog post to turn their lives around? To go find a career to bring them wealth beyond their imaginations, in a country that mostly hates them?  I think not.  It will do it for some, so bless you for that, but for others that assault on their person will take longer to get over, especially as the prejudice still continues to this day.
       
      Thank you though for your brave and encouraging post.  But, Randy really some people who disagree with you  on religion and politics are not full of crazy shit ideas.  And honestly, though I really admire you, I think some of your ideas could be considered "crazy shit" as well.
       

    58. I just read a blog about self-hate and weight:
      http://www.fatblogger.net/self_hate/

      Thinking Debt may also be a result of self-hate. Addictions, etc even not flossing when you know you should...

      but may not be aware it is self-hate... Maybe just what you learned growing up and now responsible for changing self-hate to self-love.

      1. Also thinking diseases can be related to self-hate... For example I have an autoimmune disease... Body attacking Itself...

        Hoping to cure it by changing beliefs/self-talk

        Thinking cancer may be related also... Arthritis... Wonder how many diseases related to self-hate...

    59. I just read a blog about self-hate and weight:
      http://www.fatblogger.net/self_hate/

      Thinking Debt may also be a result of self-hate. Addictions, etc even not flossing when you know you should...

      but may not be aware it is self-hate... Maybe just what you learned growing up and now responsible for changing self-hate to self-love.

    60.  @Annieb I did not call anyone a sinner, I said poverty is a sin.  I did not call people any names, I called behavior and beliefs that are dysfunctional crazy shit.  This is a very important distinction.  I am not demeaning people, but I am very forcefully demeaning beliefs that will keep them broke, unhealthy or unhealthy.  Or even dead.  So I use strong language, but with discernment.  -RG

    61.  @MS70silverangel It may surprise you to know that religion is very empowering in my life as well.  But that has come as the result of many years of study, critical thinking and discernment, to come to beliefs which are healthy and serve me.  - RG

    62.  @Randy_Gage That is illogical.  Poverty is a sin, but not the impoverished.  Like war is a sin, but not those who started it?  Murder is a sin but not those who do it?  Okay, here is where we need to think critically.  What you are saying is absurd, or you are saying that it is someone other than the person who is impoverished that caused their poverty.
       
      I applaud you however on demeaning unhealthy beliefs.  I think that is noble.  I really do Randy.  But, logic and reason are not something you can escape.

    63. Randy, I used to be one of those people who watched TV 6 hours a day. When the big HD switch happened, my husband and I decided to go completely without TV for 6 months! It was a life changer. While he missed the news and I missed American Idol and The Apprentice (the only two shows I care about watching today) and educational shows, we really didn't miss TV as much as we thought we would. Now I don't waste that time anymore. I'd much rather read a motivational book or do things that will build a foundation in which to create wealth. I read a book about fear called "Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway" by Susan Jeffers, and she suggested not to watch any news for a couple of months because of all the negativity that creates paralyzing fear. Then, once you get used to not being around negativity you can slowly watch some it realizing that you don't have to react to it.  I'd recommend this book to anyone who feels stuck...whether you think you are fearful or fearless, you will find some truths you didn't know about yourself. ~Lynda

    64. Randy, I used to be one of those people who watched TV 6 hours a day. When the big HD switch happened, my husband and I decided to go completely without TV for 6 months! It was a life changer. While he missed the news and I missed American Idol and The Apprentice (the only two shows I care about watching today) and educational shows, we really didn't miss TV as much as we thought we would. Now I don't waste that time anymore. I'd much rather read a motivational book or do things that will build a foundation in which to create wealth. I read a book about fear called "Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway" by Susan Jeffers, and she suggested not to watch any news for a couple of months because of all the negativity that creates paralyzing fear. Then, once you get used to not being around negativity you can slowly watch some it realizing that you don't have to react to it.  I'd recommend this book to anyone who feels stuck...whether you think you are fearful or fearless, you will find some truths you didn't know about yourself. ~Lynda

    65. Enlightening post Randy!
      "I would love to see you expand in a post on your comment in the comments " I think debt is one of the ways people medicate self-hate" 
       

    66. Enlightening post Randy!
      "I would love to see you expand in a post on your comment in the comments " I think debt is one of the ways people medicate self-hate" 
       

    67. Also thinking diseases can be related to self-hate... For example I have an autoimmune disease... Body attacking Itself...

      Hoping to cure it by changing beliefs/self-talk

      Thinking cancer may be related also... Arthritis... Wonder how many diseases related to self-hate...

    68. Great, great post Randy!

      The thing I would ad as one of the biggest, most powerfully disabling, and life derailing mind programming factors, comes from dysfunctional parenting. In my experience, I have seen far, far, far more damage done to belief systems and worthiness (what you feel you should/could have, be or do), from toxic parenting than I have from religion, government, media etc. Not that those sources aren't major contributors for many, many people, they are, but in my opinion, you would be hard pressed to find any source with the power to so totally destroy and undermine in a comprehensive and devious fashion as unhealthy parents - mainly because of the frequency of the messages and the power/connection of the source.

      When those whose opinion you hold in the highest regard, who's love you're desperate to cultivate/maintain, tell you over and over, that who you authentically are is bad/worthless/unwanted/unlovable etc, the depth and power of this programming is devastating in a way that most other programming sources would have a difficult time competing with.

      All of the factors you've listed are major players, and I've had to work on many of them, but I think to leave out the programming and impact of toxic parents, is to miss out on one of the biggest contributors that exists when it comes to creating lack based/worthiness/self-hate issues.

      -Sean

    69. Great, great post Randy!

      The thing I would ad as one of the biggest, most powerfully disabling, and life derailing mind programming factors, comes from dysfunctional parenting. In my experience, I have seen far, far, far more damage done to belief systems and worthiness (what you feel you should/could have, be or do), from toxic parenting than I have from religion, government, media etc. Not that those sources aren't major contributors for many, many people, they are, but in my opinion, you would be hard pressed to find any source with the power to so totally destroy and undermine in a comprehensive and devious fashion as unhealthy parents - mainly because of the frequency of the messages and the power/connection of the source.

      When those whose opinion you hold in the highest regard, who's love you're desperate to cultivate/maintain, tell you over and over, that who you authentically are is bad/worthless/unwanted/unlovable etc, the depth and power of this programming is devastating in a way that most other programming sources would have a difficult time competing with.

      All of the factors you've listed are major players, and I've had to work on many of them, but I think to leave out the programming and impact of toxic parents, is to miss out on one of the biggest contributors that exists when it comes to creating lack based/worthiness/self-hate issues.

      -Sean

    70.  @Randy_Gage I have a PS.  I think you are really brave to take on the dysfunctional beliefs we have about homosexuality and other sexual diversity issues.  It really is brave, and I admire you tons for that. 
       
      I wish for a day when we could have a healthy attitude towards all sexuality.  On that one I totally agree that Religion has caused most, if not all of that dysfunction.  And, as far as Christ was concerned he did not make judgements of that nature.  Christianity has been twisted to create that particular prejudice.
       
      I think the man who is afraid he would be killed if he spoke of his homosexuality, by members of his family, must feel alienated, alone and an abomination to God.  I hope he doesn't, but you asked how we would feel and I believe that is how I would feel.
       
      Years ago I was reading Freud's "Case History of Dora", and I remember that it was his belief that all people had an element of bisexuality to them.  Freud may have been wrong about some things, but sometimes he was absolutely right.

    71. awesome post.  Reminded me of how weird I felt at the dinner table at my parents during a visit back to NJ after living in Los Angeles for ten years.  My Mother did not want my Father to deal with a UPS driver that was colored.  I was shocked that I had grown up in that environment, maybe I just never noticed it since as a teen I was usually day dreaming at the table and not paying attention.
       
      As the parent to two teens on the autism spectrum there is a lot of hate in the community.  It is so divided with those that are on the spectrum, those parents that want a cure and then those that blame themselves.  I removed that negativity from my life in 2000 when I ceased communication with family in NJ due to their negativity saying it was my fault - at times I have felt bad that my kids did not get holiday gatherings and parties but really glad that we are not around that negativity and closed mindedness.
       
      In 1982 I took a greyhound bus at 22 yrs of age from NJ to San Diego and stayed 6 months.  I walked into a bar around downtown LA and did not know it was a gay bar.  The bartender was Gino from NJ and we hit it off and I hung out there and became roommates with a guy that frequented the club.  He was from Australia and there were four of us in the apt.  I got entrenched in the lifestyle with them  - I was the one that lured guys into the bar by sitting at the door.  Anyway it was not healthy and I went back to NJ - but it was the start of AIDS and I developed eczema rashes on my arms and face from the weather.  I stayed at my parents for a few months before I found my own place again - the first week back I had to stay in my room during my Aunt's babyshower due to the rash on my face.  She was too embarassed to have me sit at the table.
       
      As a teen I would get asked if I used needles and if I had other skin conditions that sounded scarey. When I would ask my Mother what those things were I would get in trouble and have to stay in my room.  To this day I feel terrible and gross when I have skin issues as a result of this treatment.
       
      My sister became blind from a brain tumor - seeing how my Mother was embarrassed by my sister, having her wait in the car or walking or pulling her behind her - made me do the complete opposite in raising my kids and I would not want them to be around that type of Family. 
       
      I do not like negativity at all so I have my older teen son doing online school to avoid bullying issues - not that they came up but where we live in LA we are the minority and I could not send my autistic son that is tall and a bit awkward who could be perceived as gay by the ignorant to go to a middle or high school where there are 1000  Latinos and only a dozen Caucasian students.
      Again, awesome article Randy and I do believe this conversation would happen to you while writing this. 
       
       

    72. awesome post.  Reminded me of how weird I felt at the dinner table at my parents during a visit back to NJ after living in Los Angeles for ten years.  My Mother did not want my Father to deal with a UPS driver that was colored.  I was shocked that I had grown up in that environment, maybe I just never noticed it since as a teen I was usually day dreaming at the table and not paying attention.
       
      As the parent to two teens on the autism spectrum there is a lot of hate in the community.  It is so divided with those that are on the spectrum, those parents that want a cure and then those that blame themselves.  I removed that negativity from my life in 2000 when I ceased communication with family in NJ due to their negativity saying it was my fault - at times I have felt bad that my kids did not get holiday gatherings and parties but really glad that we are not around that negativity and closed mindedness.
       
      In 1982 I took a greyhound bus at 22 yrs of age from NJ to San Diego and stayed 6 months.  I walked into a bar around downtown LA and did not know it was a gay bar.  The bartender was Gino from NJ and we hit it off and I hung out there and became roommates with a guy that frequented the club.  He was from Australia and there were four of us in the apt.  I got entrenched in the lifestyle with them  - I was the one that lured guys into the bar by sitting at the door.  Anyway it was not healthy and I went back to NJ - but it was the start of AIDS and I developed eczema rashes on my arms and face from the weather.  I stayed at my parents for a few months before I found my own place again - the first week back I had to stay in my room during my Aunt's babyshower due to the rash on my face.  She was too embarassed to have me sit at the table.
       
      As a teen I would get asked if I used needles and if I had other skin conditions that sounded scarey. When I would ask my Mother what those things were I would get in trouble and have to stay in my room.  To this day I feel terrible and gross when I have skin issues as a result of this treatment.
       
      My sister became blind from a brain tumor - seeing how my Mother was embarrassed by my sister, having her wait in the car or walking or pulling her behind her - made me do the complete opposite in raising my kids and I would not want them to be around that type of Family. 
       
      I do not like negativity at all so I have my older teen son doing online school to avoid bullying issues - not that they came up but where we live in LA we are the minority and I could not send my autistic son that is tall and a bit awkward who could be perceived as gay by the ignorant to go to a middle or high school where there are 1000  Latinos and only a dozen Caucasian students.
      Again, awesome article Randy and I do believe this conversation would happen to you while writing this. 
       
       

    73. While studying and reflecting on the current moral and value changes in society today, as well as the consistent progression, over the past 50 years, where the United States, is concerned. I have come to this conclusion and strong belief. This county was build by our founding fathers on the foundation of the Declaration of Independence and "IN GOD WE TRUST". We were blessed for many years for these truths, that were once in action in the people of this country. It is so apparent to me that there has been a continual decline since then, in our moral character and our shift in values and beliefs. We are on a crash course if we do not make major changes. Thankfully, a little over 500 people, who we vote in, to run the country and make our major decisions, have been and are modifying progressively all the laws that were previously established, to allow their opinionatednself serving beliefs, to be legally established as "acceptable behavior". To get to my point. If 500 or so people could make this mess, what power could 5000 God fearing people do to bring about change. Have you ever read "the butterfly effect"  I'm not going religious, since I think religion is a big part of the problem. It puts labels on people and controls them with their interpretations of a higher power or lack there of. The bible is TRUTH and the truth will set us free. By this belief only, can true faith be obtained and salvation guaranteed. When Jesus was tempted for 40 days by the devil, the only way the devil had to try to get to Jesus, was through presuppositions. He would say "If you are the son of God, then..... The devil can only get to us through our thoughts and minds and he does the same thing to us as he did to Jesus. We must hold our position, if we are reborn and have the holy spirit to guide us. It is so obvious to me that the devil is winning this war, with so many people by playing with their minds and getting them to question everything and every one in their lives. He hardens the heart, the longer he has our attention and focus. He has no power over God. We give him the power by letting him enter our mind. I think Randy is spot on with his points. We must guard our minds as we would our childrens lives. We must remove people and thoughts from our lives that are not in the will of God, and we must declare who we are, any time the devil enters our mind, by saying, "I rebuke you, Devil, Get behind me, I am the righteousness of God and I declare his power over you through my faith with God's grace. Amen.

    74. While studying and reflecting on the current moral and value changes in society today, as well as the consistent progression, over the past 50 years, where the United States, is concerned. I have come to this conclusion and strong belief. This county was build by our founding fathers on the foundation of the Declaration of Independence and "IN GOD WE TRUST". We were blessed for many years for these truths, that were once in action in the people of this country. It is so apparent to me that there has been a continual decline since then, in our moral character and our shift in values and beliefs. We are on a crash course if we do not make major changes. Thankfully, a little over 500 people, who we vote in, to run the country and make our major decisions, have been and are modifying progressively all the laws that were previously established, to allow their opinionatednself serving beliefs, to be legally established as "acceptable behavior". To get to my point. If 500 or so people could make this mess, what power could 5000 God fearing people do to bring about change. Have you ever read "the butterfly effect"  I'm not going religious, since I think religion is a big part of the problem. It puts labels on people and controls them with their interpretations of a higher power or lack there of. The bible is TRUTH and the truth will set us free. By this belief only, can true faith be obtained and salvation guaranteed. When Jesus was tempted for 40 days by the devil, the only way the devil had to try to get to Jesus, was through presuppositions. He would say "If you are the son of God, then..... The devil can only get to us through our thoughts and minds and he does the same thing to us as he did to Jesus. We must hold our position, if we are reborn and have the holy spirit to guide us. It is so obvious to me that the devil is winning this war, with so many people by playing with their minds and getting them to question everything and every one in their lives. He hardens the heart, the longer he has our attention and focus. He has no power over God. We give him the power by letting him enter our mind. I think Randy is spot on with his points. We must guard our minds as we would our childrens lives. We must remove people and thoughts from our lives that are not in the will of God, and we must declare who we are, any time the devil enters our mind, by saying, "I rebuke you, Devil, Get behind me, I am the righteousness of God and I declare his power over you through my faith with God's grace. Amen.

    75. Eliminating negative tv was part of my journey but I also needed to change my negative self talk...even when the tv was off I still had negative core beliefs and self talk... So I still had the same results.

      We have 60,000 thoughts per day.... 95% same thoughts every day... 80% of habitual thoughts are negative.

      So most people have more than 45,000 negative thoughts per day.

      I heard that if you look at you current results... Weight, health, debt, success, relationships... That will tell what your core beliefs are... And thoughts come from beliefs... Even ones we aren't aware of... Like self-hate

      Belief -> vision/thoughts/self-talk -> actions -> results

      So if not getting results you want... Maybe have sabotaging actions... From vision/ thoughts/ self-talk ... Which are based on core beliefs

      One example of Sabotaging actions like not exercising, giving up on diets/healthy eating, etc... So never reaching ideal weight and/or maintaining ideal weight

      Thinking we all have programming and if it isn't what we want we can change it

      Maybe some things we can't change like height etc... But some things we can...

      Poverty to prosperity
      Self-hate to self-love

      1. "That's life and there is nothing I can do about it"
        Or
        " it's my choice and there is something I can do about it."

    76. Eliminating negative tv was part of my journey but I also needed to change my negative self talk...even when the tv was off I still had negative core beliefs and self talk... So I still had the same results.

      We have 60,000 thoughts per day.... 95% same thoughts every day... 80% of habitual thoughts are negative.

      So most people have more than 45,000 negative thoughts per day.

      I heard that if you look at you current results... Weight, health, debt, success, relationships... That will tell what your core beliefs are... And thoughts come from beliefs... Even ones we aren't aware of... Like self-hate

      Belief -> vision/thoughts/self-talk -> actions -> results

      So if not getting results you want... Maybe have sabotaging actions... From vision/ thoughts/ self-talk ... Which are based on core beliefs

      One example of Sabotaging actions like not exercising, giving up on diets/healthy eating, etc... So never reaching ideal weight and/or maintaining ideal weight

      Thinking we all have programming and if it isn't what we want we can change it

      Maybe some things we can't change like height etc... But some things we can...

      Poverty to prosperity
      Self-hate to self-love

    77. Hi Randy,
       I am always reading and feeling the power. But I would say  with this post,  the energy is supreme. But who are they after all-the church leaders and the cult leaders and the politicians and the media and the in-laws and the neighbors-?  They better save their own souls and their own kids. Or let them come in my second life and tell me what to do. All their negative emissions of energies cannot reach me this time. I love myself.
      You can count on me.
       
      Many thanks for the post.

    78. Hi Randy,
       I am always reading and feeling the power. But I would say  with this post,  the energy is supreme. But who are they after all-the church leaders and the cult leaders and the politicians and the media and the in-laws and the neighbors-?  They better save their own souls and their own kids. Or let them come in my second life and tell me what to do. All their negative emissions of energies cannot reach me this time. I love myself.
      You can count on me.
       
      Many thanks for the post.

    79.  @Randy_Gage One more thing.  You do demean people, just saying you don't doesn't make it true.  You also say empowering messages, but some of what you say is demeaning.  I wanted to point out that we could be brainwashed negatively by some of what you say as well.
       
      Having said all that, it seems like you are more positive, than you use to be. 

    80. "That's life and there is nothing I can do about it"
      Or
      " it's my choice and there is something I can do about it."

    81. WOW, this is just amazing. You are so right, as always, and have the correct way to open my mind and realize that is now and not later that changes are to happen.
       
      Thank you Randy!

    82. WOW, this is just amazing. You are so right, as always, and have the correct way to open my mind and realize that is now and not later that changes are to happen.
       
      Thank you Randy!

    83. If something inside resists entering this conversation, that is even more reason to go there. Underneath resistance is what you are meant to learn.

    84. If something inside resists entering this conversation, that is even more reason to go there. Underneath resistance is what you are meant to learn.

    85.  @crazykids6 FYI- everyone has the little voices in their heads. The skill is in continually choosing which head conversations to believe and which ones to remember are false. If you understand that this the challenge and gift of being human, then the "struggle" can end and mastery can begin. 

    86. Hey Randy-
      Obviously, from the depth of replies not many people "stopped" reading and you touched a deep cord. I think someone would have to have your head in the sand to NOT believe that there are people in the world who live in fear for their lives because they are different from the "group". This is what feeds all kinds of abuse and genocide globally.
       
      One of the most influential books I read years ago, is Makes Me Wanna Hollar by Nathan McCall http://www.amazon.com/Makes-Me-Wanna-Holler-America/dp/0679740708. It's a hard book to read, but he describes clearly the conversations in his head as he behaved in ways that were appalling. It's a gritty account of how he reacted to the messages of hatred and inequality he faced growing up as a black youth in the southern USA. 
       
      If this will post, here also is a great video from a Jewish "slam poet" known as The Hebrew Mamita. In this one she speaks up about facing up to her own self loathing as she gets " a contact high off someone else's antisemitic crack pipe".  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yAeWyGGTdEE. She can be speaking about any minority groups internal fear, hatred, desire to fit in, etc. 
       
      We all have minds that can be "brainwashed", and are capable of tricky justifications for our behaviors. If we don't remember this is true of all humans,  it's very easy to judge others for their behavior and of course, judge ourselves without even noticing.  Thanks for continually pushing the "wake up" envelope and reminding those who read to "keep questioning" ALL beliefs.
      Loving life,
      Jeanne
       

    87. Hey Randy-
      Obviously, from the depth of replies not many people "stopped" reading and you touched a deep cord. I think someone would have to have your head in the sand to NOT believe that there are people in the world who live in fear for their lives because they are different from the "group". This is what feeds all kinds of abuse and genocide globally.
       
      One of the most influential books I read years ago, is Makes Me Wanna Hollar by Nathan McCall http://www.amazon.com/Makes-Me-Wanna-Holler-America/dp/0679740708. It's a hard book to read, but he describes clearly the conversations in his head as he behaved in ways that were appalling. It's a gritty account of how he reacted to the messages of hatred and inequality he faced growing up as a black youth in the southern USA. 
       
      If this will post, here also is a great video from a Jewish "slam poet" known as The Hebrew Mamita. In this one she speaks up about facing up to her own self loathing as she gets " a contact high off someone else's antisemitic crack pipe".  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yAeWyGGTdEE. She can be speaking about any minority groups internal fear, hatred, desire to fit in, etc. 
       
      We all have minds that can be "brainwashed", and are capable of tricky justifications for our behaviors. If we don't remember this is true of all humans,  it's very easy to judge others for their behavior and of course, judge ourselves without even noticing.  Thanks for continually pushing the "wake up" envelope and reminding those who read to "keep questioning" ALL beliefs.
      Loving life,
      Jeanne
       

    88.  @Randy_Gage Well, Interestingly enough, that is what evangelicals usually say in regards to homosexuality.  You dig that? I don't. 
       
      However, I can't stop being a fan of yours, no matter how much I disagree with you at times.    So, I will hate some of your words but love the man.-Annie 😉

    89.  @Randy_Gage  @Annieb This may open a can of worms, but I know a minister who uses this phrase in reference to Gays. I always hear it as his "enlightened" way to judge those he is afraid of. If sin means "to miss to mark" then why "hate' the sin. Isn't it better to acknowledge it and then choose another path for the future? Hence the word "repent"-to turn away from.  Takes the judgement away. JK
       

    90. GREAT post, Randy!!
      I very much loved to read it - up here in Charleston S.C.
       
      Unfortunately when being back in my home country from Europe we get to hear about Turkish women (on TV news) who were killed by their brothers because they wanted to marry a German (non muslim) guy......
      crazy....
       

    91. GREAT post, Randy!!
      I very much loved to read it - up here in Charleston S.C.
       
      Unfortunately when being back in my home country from Europe we get to hear about Turkish women (on TV news) who were killed by their brothers because they wanted to marry a German (non muslim) guy......
      crazy....
       

    92. Randy, this is the best you've written in a while, probably since your one about HIV. I feel that it comes from somewhere deep in your heart, from a place of real knowing.

    93. Randy, this is the best you've written in a while, probably since your one about AIDS. I feel that it comes from somewhere deep in your heart, from a place of real knowing. I love it.

    94. Randy, this is the best you've written in a while, probably since your one about AIDS. I feel that it comes from somewhere deep in your heart, from a place of real knowing. I love it.

    95. Yes self hate is a path to poverty. I have many friends and people who have hated the world. I do love them but i have not stronger to demean their negative belief. In your post, i experienced the story of other people who are victim and my story too. Poverty is a sin, i know it. Because I know how demeaning and how hard it is to be in poverty. How hard to eat only a meal a day, how hard to level me as poor as a rat, until I know i hated the world for unfair treatment. But as far as i know, I was in sin. I started to circulate my value, i started to become stronger, i started to make arts, make money, clean my soul. Tough i have many bad experience when i was in poverty, I started them to move out in my life. Until one day, I realized I sinned that I wasted my energy in poverty, i wasted my low level vision in poverty, I forgave my self. and walk to the path of success. 
       

    96. Yes self hate is a path to poverty. I have many friends and people who have hated the world. I do love them but i have not stronger to demean their negative belief. In your post, i experienced the story of other people who are victim and my story too. Poverty is a sin, i know it. Because I know how demeaning and how hard it is to be in poverty. How hard to eat only a meal a day, how hard to level me as poor as a rat, until I know i hated the world for unfair treatment. But as far as i know, I was in sin. I started to circulate my value, i started to become stronger, i started to make arts, make money, clean my soul. Tough i have many bad experience when i was in poverty, I started them to move out in my life. Until one day, I realized I sinned that I wasted my energy in poverty, i wasted my low level vision in poverty, I forgave my self. and walk to the path of success. 
       

    97. "We were poor but didn't know it"

      Could also be:
      We were fat but didn't know it.
      We were in debt but didn't know it.
      We were sick but didn't know it.
      We were _______ but didn't know it.

      Core belief... We hated ourselves but didn't know it.

    98. "We were poor but didn't know it"

      Could also be:
      We were fat but didn't know it.
      We were in debt but didn't know it.
      We were sick but didn't know it.
      We were _______ but didn't know it.

      Core belief... We hated ourselves but didn't know it.

    99. Randy,
      Your blog is the first place that I ever heard the term "mind virus" and ever since I have been aware of the viruses in my mind aka limiting beliefs. And yes they subconsciously control our behavior of what we do and how we live our lives.
       
      I am not always aware of what thoughts I am having or what thoughts are being implanted in me but I am always aware of what I am feeling. If something is making me feel low, bad, or disconnected to the all then it surely is a mind virus in action.
       
      I believe that we all have the right to be free to be who we are and to express our own individuality. If we all acted and thought the same the World would become a boring and predictable place to live.

    100. Randy,
      Your blog is the first place that I ever heard the term "mind virus" and ever since I have been aware of the viruses in my mind aka limiting beliefs. And yes they subconsciously control our behavior of what we do and how we live our lives.
       
      I am not always aware of what thoughts I am having or what thoughts are being implanted in me but I am always aware of what I am feeling. If something is making me feel low, bad, or disconnected to the all then it surely is a mind virus in action.
       
      I believe that we all have the right to be free to be who we are and to express our own individuality. If we all acted and thought the same the World would become a boring and predictable place to live.

    101. Thinking judgments are fears... The opposite of love... Maybe hate.

      And thinking a big part of them goes back to our childhood... Protecting our families beliefs or vows... Our families way... Maybe our family way is our religion.

      So in a way we are defending hate when we judge/hate/fear... It is not love.

      "the work" by Byron Katie has you write out all your judgments and ask a few simple questions... And turn it around.

      If you turn it around ... It is self-judgment, fear,hate.

      Love your neighbor as yourself...

      Or hate your neighbor as yourself.

      It is our choice.

      I choose love 🙂

    102. Thinking judgments are fears... The opposite of love... Maybe hate.

      And thinking a big part of them goes back to our childhood... Protecting our families beliefs or vows... Our families way... Maybe our family way is our religion.

      So in a way we are defending hate when we judge/hate/fear... It is not love.

      "the work" by Byron Katie has you write out all your judgments and ask a few simple questions... And turn it around.

      If you turn it around ... It is self-judgment, fear,hate.

      Love your neighbor as yourself...

      Or hate your neighbor as yourself.

      It is our choice.

      I choose love 🙂

    103. This is the most important conversation we need to be having with each other in our world today. I am so happy I woke up to this today. Thank you. Powerful. I can't help thinking about that poor boy who jumped off the bridge because his room mate was secretly recording him. An article in the Post the other day said that when he came out to his mom she was very disappointed in him because her other son was gay, too. Apparently he was feeling deep sadness about that around the time of his suicide. I was brainwashed in so many ways by my family. Almost everything I learned from them is pure garbage. Especially the use of credit cards and the accumulation of debt. My mother opened credit card accounts in my sister's name and ran up debt on those, too. The original purchase price on her house when she bought it from my grandparents was $58,000 back in the late 70's. Now it has a mortgage of $350,000 that will never be paid off in her life time. She refinanced so many times. Talk about crazy ideas. Her payment is $2500.00 a month! And she is 73 years old and cleans houses.  Part of her craziness is that she still thinks she is smarter than everyone. So you can't talk to her about reality, she gets insanely defensive and turns it right back onto me or whoever is questioning her.  I recently had dinner with her and my younger sister, who asked me for the telephone number of a med student who I suggested she might like to meet. When my mother heard that he was working and going to med school her response was "forget him, he won't have any money". That is just one example of the CRAZY ass brainwashing that I grew up with. I can't stand that type of sick materialism and that is all the members of my family value.  I am all for money and becoming successful. I really hope to do so, but on my own through my own work.  Unfortunately that is not what I learned growing up.

    104. This is the most important conversation we need to be having with each other in our world today. I am so happy I woke up to this today. Thank you. Powerful. I can't help thinking about that poor boy who jumped off the bridge because his room mate was secretly recording him. An article in the Post the other day said that when he came out to his mom she was very disappointed in him because her other son was gay, too. Apparently he was feeling deep sadness about that around the time of his suicide. I was brainwashed in so many ways by my family. Almost everything I learned from them is pure garbage. Especially the use of credit cards and the accumulation of debt. My mother opened credit card accounts in my sister's name and ran up debt on those, too. The original purchase price on her house when she bought it from my grandparents was $58,000 back in the late 70's. Now it has a mortgage of $350,000 that will never be paid off in her life time. She refinanced so many times. Talk about crazy ideas. Her payment is $2500.00 a month! And she is 73 years old and cleans houses.  Part of her craziness is that she still thinks she is smarter than everyone. So you can't talk to her about reality, she gets insanely defensive and turns it right back onto me or whoever is questioning her.  I recently had dinner with her and my younger sister, who asked me for the telephone number of a med student who I suggested she might like to meet. When my mother heard that he was working and going to med school her response was "forget him, he won't have any money". That is just one example of the CRAZY ass brainwashing that I grew up with. I can't stand that type of sick materialism and that is all the members of my family value.  I am all for money and becoming successful. I really hope to do so, but on my own through my own work.  Unfortunately that is not what I learned growing up.

    105. Randy, I agree with what you say, about gays especially.The gay community really does hate itself: unobtainable views of physical perfection (living in the gym for most of my life, isn't something I want to do), worships youth WAY more than it should, and encourages a very hedonistic lifestyle. (Sex, drugs, alcohol, overspending to impress potential partners, etc). Don't even get me started on the numerous straight people who still don't have a clue that it is who we are, not what we choose, and BS most of us grow up with because we have to hide.Being healthy and successful is one thing, but man, we're one of the biggest, most insane groups of men on the planet. Might as well be insane in constructive ways 😀 

    106. Randy, I agree with what you say, about gays especially.The gay community really does hate itself: unobtainable views of physical perfection (living in the gym for most of my life, isn't something I want to do), worships youth WAY more than it should, and encourages a very hedonistic lifestyle. (Sex, drugs, alcohol, overspending to impress potential partners, etc). Don't even get me started on the numerous straight people who still don't have a clue that it is who we are, not what we choose, and BS most of us grow up with because we have to hide.Being healthy and successful is one thing, but man, we're one of the biggest, most insane groups of men on the planet. Might as well be insane in constructive ways 😀 

    107. I don't understand how someone who is supposed to be a "prosperity guru" can dispute that being ruled by your desires is a choice. Gay, straight, confused or otherwise. If your sexuality defines you, you have much work to do on claiming your personal power. We all have desires, sexual and otherwise. ACTING on them is always a choice.

    108. I don't understand how someone who is supposed to be a "prosperity guru" can dispute that being ruled by your desires is a choice. Gay, straight, confused or otherwise. If your sexuality defines you, you have much work to do on claiming your personal power. We all have desires, sexual and otherwise. ACTING on them is always a choice.

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