The Real Reason Gary Vaynerchuk Doesn’t Have Six-Pack Abs, I Don’t Speak French, and You’re Carrying Around that Extra Weight...
I recently watched a video from Gary Vaynerchuk where he confessed that he “desperately” wanted six-pack abs. Yet he acknowledged that he or anyone else could search the Internet and learn exactly what exercises to do and what foods to eat to produce that result.
So why doesn’t he have them?
Because Gary doesn’t really want six-pack abs, he wants more clients, more visibility, and more money. Now not to throw Gary under the bus: He’s a good guy, and provides great value to his tribe. His situation demonstrates a truth about him, you, me, and millions of other people in the world today. We say we want something, but our actions say the opposite. And if there’s one truth I’ve discovered about human behavior, it is this:
Your actions reveal the truth.
When people say one thing, but their actions are not congruent with what they say, the actions lead you to the real truth.
Gary doesn’t have his rocked torso for the same reason I don’t speak French, millions of others haven’t achieved their goals, and you’re carrying around that extra ten pounds. (Which if we’re being totally honest here, is a lot closer to 20 extra than it is to ten.)
I’ve said for years that I want to speak four or five languages. And I’ve “proven” it by spending at least $1,000 on Rosetta Stone courses. But while I can get my point across in Spanish, or order lunch in Paris, I’m not close to being fluent in either language. I tell myself that I really want to be fluent in other languages, but the truth is I haven’t loaded up one of those Rosetta DVDs in more than four months. So it’s really just a lie I tell myself.
If I really wanted to speak those languages – I would make time to do so. And if you really wanted what you say you do, you’d have taken the actions to get it.
So why haven’t you written that book, lost that weight, or achieved that bold goal that you’re always affirming?
You’ve probably got lots of excuses, but of course those are just that. There’s a real reason you haven’t accomplished what you say you want. And truth be told, there are only three probable scenarios:
Possibility one: You really do want to achieve this goal, are working toward it and on your way to achieving it.
Unfortunately for most people, this is rarely the case, and likely not the case for you. (This is the situation less than five percent of the time.) Such is the power of human delusion that we believe the outrageous lies we tell ourselves. When we have really bought into something, we take the daily actions that will bring us closer to it.
Possibility number two: You want the goal, but not as much as you want what’s preventing you from getting it.
I estimate this is the case about 35 percent of the time. Example: You want to lose weight, but not as much as you want to watch TV, surf the Internet, and eat junk food.
Another example might be you say you want to spend more time with your spouse, but actually are a workaholic. You find intimacy threatening, so use work as your excuse to avoid it. Remember, actions reveal the truth.
Possibility three: You want something in your conscious mind, but you have a core belief in your subconscious mind that is sabotaging it.
When coaching people on success, this is what I see about 60 percent of the time. Millions of people self sabotage themselves daily. And most are not aware they are doing it.
They blame their less-than-desirable results on the government, their cheap boss, the economy, or their spouse or their ex. They’re convinced the cause is some outside circumstance, but don’t realize that the real evil that outside entity has done is program them with beliefs that cause them to self-sabotage their own success and unhappiness.
There are three insidious and pervasive agents spreading negative memes:
1) Organized religion
3) The Data-sphere
Organized religion doesn’t consciously try to program you with negative beliefs. Most of the people involved with it are good people who mean well. But they’re infected with the very memes they’re programming you with. That is one of the sneakiest things about memes: they parasitize the host and cause him or her to unknowingly perpetuate the meme.
Healthy, happy wealthy people don’t “need” religion. And religions need you to need them. So they play the unworthy supplicant card strong and tantalize you with promises of salvation – but only if you accept that you are undeserving.
Most religions create lifelong worthiness issues for their followers. They are benign cults, but unfortunately the results they produce are anything but benign.
Likewise for government. Most people who serve in government consciously want to do well. But like religious people, they are arrogant and they think they know how to take care of you better than you do yourself. Like religions, governments need you to need them.
Finally there is what I’ll classify as the data-sphere: TV, radio, movies, books, magazines and of course – social media and the Internet. And basically this is the way that people who have been programmed by organized religion and government have more opportunity to infest you with negative and limiting beliefs. These are powerful, pervasive mediums and the more you are exposed to them (basically 24/7 for most people), the more they can program your subconscious mind. And here are the most widespread memes being disseminated in the world today:
This has been a crash course in memes and how they cause you to subconsciously do things that clash with your conscious desires. If you want to know more, I wrote a whole book on this subject. But the bottom line is this: when your conscious and subconscious mind have a conflict – the subconscious mind always wins.
The only way you change your results is to change the core, foundational beliefs which are creating them.
So let’s go back to the question I asked you earlier: Why haven’t you written that book, lost that weight, or achieved that bold goal that you’re always affirming?
If we strip away all the excuses, we get back to the only probable causes:
1) You really do want to achieve this goal, are working toward it and on your way to achieving it.
2) You want the goal, but not as much as you want what’s preventing you from getting it.
3) You want something in your conscious mind, but you have a core belief in your subconscious mind that is sabotaging it.
Now be totally and completely honest with yourself, be rational and objective: Which one is it?
Randy Gage is the author of nine international bestsellers on success, including, Risky Is the New Safe. He’s currently on sabbatical, writing his next book, but posts occasionally here. If you find these postcards helpful, please share them.