Sign InMy Account

Overcoming Feelings of Unworthiness

Posted By: Randy GageDecember 10, 2009

What do you do when you have subconscious programming that makes you think you’re unworthy of success?   

The first step is finding out that it’s there.  How?

Look for patterns of failure in your life.  Cases where you are just about to break through to success, and “something” else stops you.  You’ll probably think it is some outside factor that you have no control over.  At least I always thought it was an “outside” factor.

When I started a business, the county started construction on the highway, the next time I had a crooked partner, and another time the economy went bad.  Finally the last time, the IRS seized my restaurant for non-payment of taxes, and auctioned it off on the courthouse steps.

What a great thing that turned out to be!  Really.  Because losing everything made me finally stopped looking at all the outside factors (crooked partner, IRS, economy, etc.), and started looking at the inside ones. Or more specifically, ask the question, "Was there ONE person who was always at the scene of the crime?"

Of course I didn't like the answer I came up with, but it was the true one.  All those outside factors were being manifested by me because I:

* Had a subconscious fear of success;
* Lacked Self-esteem; and,
* Didn't believe I was worthy of success.

In the book “As a Man Thinketh,” James Allen relates how usual it is for people to say, “Many men are slaves because one is an oppressor; let us hate the oppressor.”  He then goes on to note the increasing tendency of people to say, “One man is an oppressor because there are slaves; let us despise the slaves.”

The real truth is that both the slaves and the oppressor are co-creators in ignorance, lack and limitation.  While it seems that they are victimizing each other – in reality, they are each victimizing themselves.

Prosperity and human dignity are both based upon value received.  An oppressor cannot sustain prosperity because he is exacting more than he returns, and will ultimately bankrupt his own consciousness.  A slave gives not enough value to himself, and likewise ends up in a state of spiritual bankruptcy.  As the Course in Miracles teaches, they are no victims, only volunteers.

This can also show up as procrastination and perfectionism.  You’re always going to write that book, screenplay, or opera, but you don’t have time to make it perfect.  Rather than chance failing at something, you can always lie to yourself that you’re going to do it some day.

So here are the important questions for you:  Have you got a pattern of false starts, failures, and/or procrastination?  And have you been blaming them on outside factors, allowing yourself to become a victim?

Don’t get discouraged if the answer is yes.  Because awareness is more than half the battle.  In the next post we’ll go the next step.

-RG

35 comments on “Overcoming Feelings of Unworthiness”

  1. I have come to know that I have a pattern of 'self destruction'. I have had many things to point the finger at. But, I have come to know and realize that, yes I was the one that ''was always at the scene of the crime.''

    I have come a long way, with realization of this. There is but quite a bit of journey that lay ahead.

    With help from watching the people around me (Tom Schulte (Tommy 😉 ), Eric Worre (who I signed up for his Webinar/Seminar whichever you call it), J.B. Glossinger, and OF COURSE RANDY GAGE! 😉 ) I am able to realize, and understand that "There IS a better way!" And I deserve it, for myself, for others around me. I am worthy of all the potential prosperity.

    I take time out every day to work on myself. And I have all of you to thank. =)

    I stopped listening to the broke and sick people around me, who were tryin to give me advice in money and life, and looked to greater heights to learn from those who actually practice it on a daily basis.

    I am listening to my heart these days! And ohh god it feels great!

    Love & Respect
    Jamie

  2. Hey thanks Randy. This is something I'm working on. Any insights you have on the subject will be given the utmost attention to apply to my own life and journey.

    Much love and appreciation,
    Lucinda

  3. I agree but what next? How do you tackle yourself, sort of speak. While I do I believe that positive thinking and cognitive behavioral work is helpful, there's something missing. And doesn't seem to work completely for millions. So what next?

  4. One of things that I would like to learn is how to "instantly" change the beliefs that fuel the worthiness and self esteem issues. Jim Rohn (RIP) and Tony Robbins (probably his most famous student) talked about changing your life in an instant-basically with a decision. I have made remarkable changes in my life (most for the good), but I can see where patterns repeat themselves, and I can't help but wonder how does one really change their core?

    I'll give you an example, I have had a belief that having money is an obvious outward expression of success. My money situation has changed alot since I have studied success and self improvement, but my situation has really changed. Why? Because I have the same sort of trouble now that I make a fairly large income, as when I made $25K or $50K per year. Troubles that I have talked about here before...bill collectors, shitty credit, people suing me, and on and on and on. I feel like a broken record sometimes, because I seem stuck on this point.

    I see it in other areas as well, which I deem 100% self esteem issue...being very overweight. I have lost alot of weight and gain alot of weight and lost alot of weight and ...well you get the idea. At one point after 9/11, I decided I would change these things once and for all, since I was an eye witness to the attacks on the twin towers, and at the time it deeply affected the way I looked at life and how it can be gone in an instant. So, I changed my eating and exercise habits and joined a contest to get "buffed up"...I end up losing 40 lbs and got to approximately 8-9% bodyfat...I was looking good. Guess what? I don't even have to tell the story.

    Anyway, I'm babbling, aren't I? How do we change core beliefs? That is my question.

  5. Randy:
    How did you change those beliefs rooted in emotional pain? Like not having a Dad,told you were never succeed even if you work hard- that's mine. The belief:I am a failure even if society says I have succeeded:making $100,000 per month,getting my PH.D.,traveling.having the mansion, a loving relationship.

    It seems this mind-set is stuck in wanting society's ideal of success not what I want which is get my PHD in comparative social history;start my own progressive Think Tank;buy a 100 acres ranch and travel to Scandinavian;and return to the beaches in Nicaragua.

  6. Thank you Randy,
    So insightful and beautifully written. I can so relate, it took me seven years to finally finish my screenplay! I of course took years off of writing, because I didn't believe in myself. I didn't think it was in the cards for me. Right now I'm working on the fourth draft - making it "perfect", when in reality it's good enough right now. Thank you for your beautiful and amazing work. See you on the red carpet!!

  7. Great post Randy
    I always read your posts and it gets me thinking......especially outside the box, you challenge me and I thank you for that as I have played the victim way toooooooooooo long!!!!
    It's getting clearer now on the patterns I have created in my life and I would like to thank you for challenging us or me, to be honest with myself so that we can let go of the crap that is holding me back (and being more aware of it!!)
    Keep them coming!!!

    ANd great question Scott, yes how can we really get to the core beliefs?

  8. I can look back and recognize all of the times I was the common denominator for each instance.

    In fact, I can look at things now and know I'm silently sabotaging myself in certain parts of my life.

    I'm at the point where I *know* it's me, and yet, I still repeat the patterns. I can actually 'see' what I'm doing and think, 'I'm playing victim here'.

    ugh. They are hard programs to change. I know I'm worthy. I just don't know how to get my subconscious to accept it.

    In Gratitude,

    Jhann

  9. I too am grateful that you're pointing this out. I was recently referred to Stephen Martile's site, http://www.freedomeducation.ca with the intention of finally breaking through these patterns, along with finding what I truly Love and my purpose.

    And yes, I'm clear it has much to do with a very deep down feeling of unworthiness and fear of success. And the procrastination theme continues to run. I also am clear that visioning what's possible along with the joyful feelings that come along with it, bring the energy forward. Manifesting requires not only KNOWING what is possible, but staying focused on it and the outcome.

    Thanks Randy.

  10. Great post as usual, Randy.

    I am still trying to overcome negative self-doubt. My self esteem is not where it should be, even though I have a successful insurance practice. I still procrastinate, sabotage my own success and can't get to the next level of success.

    You hit a hot button for many here and think you (and we) need to dig deeper into this.

    How long before you knew you had turned it around in your own personal situation?

    Tom

  11. Randy,

    Awareness may be all there is. Once you catch yourself the first time... and you are willing to change and then catch yourself a moment earlier the second time... you can make a change.

    I have been investigating failure for a number of years. I program items and tasks into my day that I cannot do, accomplish or complete without making a huge mess. It does annoy some people in my life because they are expecting great things ...

    I only noticed yesterday I had turned my infatuation for learning into a collapsed opening. A subtle change makes the same events an opening for action instead. 2010 is going to rock.

    Thank you Randy for being who you are,

    Michael

  12. I am becoming aware of some core values that I need to reprogram to avoid sabotaging myself. Some I have been aware of and I am recognizing them when they come up again. Some new ones come up as you experience life.

  13. Yep, yes, and oh yeah. That's me. Always second-guessing myself. It is for me going to be the most difficult habit to overcome. Wish me luck!

    "There is no 'try'"...Yoda.

    Michele

  14. Great post Randy.. I got one for ya.. "If you do not seek correction your present will hop into your future" and then there is this one that I live by " you don't have to get it right, you just have to get it going" Just think if Bruce Springsteen, Elvis, Oprah, Rachel Ray or any other successful person waited until they were right, got it right ?

  15. I had 18 years of some serious religious programming (home,church,school)...I left that church as soon as I could because I disagreed with a lot but you never know when some of it is going to pop back up.

  16. Here's a where I am good....confession! All I seem to do is confess to myself and others that where I am is my own doing. It is the result of all that I have chosen to do...and all that I have chosen NOT to do.
    The next step for me has to be to stop ACCEPTING that of myself! Somehow I need to stop being so proud of CONFESSING...and start getting off the pot and CHANGING it!! Grrrrrrrrr!!!

  17. Great Post Randy!

    I really like that it applies in so many ways. For example, it you don't get along well with others and it is always their fault. If you have many failed relationships and friendships, looking at the common denominator always (most always) wakes you up. Who is always there?

    Thanks,

    Walt

  18. I love reading all these comments because I fully agree. Now, on to reading other posts by Randy. Need concrete ideas and actions!! And btw, being on your twitter Randy really does inspire me every day. Thanks!

  19. @David Not to mention raped newborns. Reincarnation does not exist but these drugged out libtards use it as excuse to blame the victim! RAIN and other ACLU oughta sue this freak!

  20. This is well written!! Thank you. . People are afraid of their own power and freedom of choice ..perhaps than they would also need to be responsible and self reliant..and that is what they are afraid of..
    All we need to learn is the balance between autonomy and togetherness: we all can be successful, happy and loved and respected at the same time...all other bondings are co- dependency.. indirect ways of getting our needs met...controllers and pelasers, victim mentality state...
    Aleksandra

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

  • Generic selectors
    Exact matches only
    Search in title
    Search in content
    Post Type Selectors
  • Stay Connected

    Subscribe to Randy’s Blog via Email

  • Recent Posts

  • 35 comments on “Overcoming Feelings of Unworthiness”

    1. I have come to know that I have a pattern of 'self destruction'. I have had many things to point the finger at. But, I have come to know and realize that, yes I was the one that ''was always at the scene of the crime.''

      I have come a long way, with realization of this. There is but quite a bit of journey that lay ahead.

      With help from watching the people around me (Tom Schulte (Tommy 😉 ), Eric Worre (who I signed up for his Webinar/Seminar whichever you call it), J.B. Glossinger, and OF COURSE RANDY GAGE! 😉 ) I am able to realize, and understand that "There IS a better way!" And I deserve it, for myself, for others around me. I am worthy of all the potential prosperity.

      I take time out every day to work on myself. And I have all of you to thank. =)

      I stopped listening to the broke and sick people around me, who were tryin to give me advice in money and life, and looked to greater heights to learn from those who actually practice it on a daily basis.

      I am listening to my heart these days! And ohh god it feels great!

      Love & Respect
      Jamie

    2. Hey thanks Randy. This is something I'm working on. Any insights you have on the subject will be given the utmost attention to apply to my own life and journey.

      Much love and appreciation,
      Lucinda

    3. I agree but what next? How do you tackle yourself, sort of speak. While I do I believe that positive thinking and cognitive behavioral work is helpful, there's something missing. And doesn't seem to work completely for millions. So what next?

    4. One of things that I would like to learn is how to "instantly" change the beliefs that fuel the worthiness and self esteem issues. Jim Rohn (RIP) and Tony Robbins (probably his most famous student) talked about changing your life in an instant-basically with a decision. I have made remarkable changes in my life (most for the good), but I can see where patterns repeat themselves, and I can't help but wonder how does one really change their core?

      I'll give you an example, I have had a belief that having money is an obvious outward expression of success. My money situation has changed alot since I have studied success and self improvement, but my situation has really changed. Why? Because I have the same sort of trouble now that I make a fairly large income, as when I made $25K or $50K per year. Troubles that I have talked about here before...bill collectors, shitty credit, people suing me, and on and on and on. I feel like a broken record sometimes, because I seem stuck on this point.

      I see it in other areas as well, which I deem 100% self esteem issue...being very overweight. I have lost alot of weight and gain alot of weight and lost alot of weight and ...well you get the idea. At one point after 9/11, I decided I would change these things once and for all, since I was an eye witness to the attacks on the twin towers, and at the time it deeply affected the way I looked at life and how it can be gone in an instant. So, I changed my eating and exercise habits and joined a contest to get "buffed up"...I end up losing 40 lbs and got to approximately 8-9% bodyfat...I was looking good. Guess what? I don't even have to tell the story.

      Anyway, I'm babbling, aren't I? How do we change core beliefs? That is my question.

    5. Randy:
      How did you change those beliefs rooted in emotional pain? Like not having a Dad,told you were never succeed even if you work hard- that's mine. The belief:I am a failure even if society says I have succeeded:making $100,000 per month,getting my PH.D.,traveling.having the mansion, a loving relationship.

      It seems this mind-set is stuck in wanting society's ideal of success not what I want which is get my PHD in comparative social history;start my own progressive Think Tank;buy a 100 acres ranch and travel to Scandinavian;and return to the beaches in Nicaragua.

    6. Thank you Randy,
      So insightful and beautifully written. I can so relate, it took me seven years to finally finish my screenplay! I of course took years off of writing, because I didn't believe in myself. I didn't think it was in the cards for me. Right now I'm working on the fourth draft - making it "perfect", when in reality it's good enough right now. Thank you for your beautiful and amazing work. See you on the red carpet!!

    7. Great post Randy
      I always read your posts and it gets me thinking......especially outside the box, you challenge me and I thank you for that as I have played the victim way toooooooooooo long!!!!
      It's getting clearer now on the patterns I have created in my life and I would like to thank you for challenging us or me, to be honest with myself so that we can let go of the crap that is holding me back (and being more aware of it!!)
      Keep them coming!!!

      ANd great question Scott, yes how can we really get to the core beliefs?

    8. I can look back and recognize all of the times I was the common denominator for each instance.

      In fact, I can look at things now and know I'm silently sabotaging myself in certain parts of my life.

      I'm at the point where I *know* it's me, and yet, I still repeat the patterns. I can actually 'see' what I'm doing and think, 'I'm playing victim here'.

      ugh. They are hard programs to change. I know I'm worthy. I just don't know how to get my subconscious to accept it.

      In Gratitude,

      Jhann

    9. I too am grateful that you're pointing this out. I was recently referred to Stephen Martile's site, http://www.freedomeducation.ca with the intention of finally breaking through these patterns, along with finding what I truly Love and my purpose.

      And yes, I'm clear it has much to do with a very deep down feeling of unworthiness and fear of success. And the procrastination theme continues to run. I also am clear that visioning what's possible along with the joyful feelings that come along with it, bring the energy forward. Manifesting requires not only KNOWING what is possible, but staying focused on it and the outcome.

      Thanks Randy.

    10. Great post as usual, Randy.

      I am still trying to overcome negative self-doubt. My self esteem is not where it should be, even though I have a successful insurance practice. I still procrastinate, sabotage my own success and can't get to the next level of success.

      You hit a hot button for many here and think you (and we) need to dig deeper into this.

      How long before you knew you had turned it around in your own personal situation?

      Tom

    11. Randy,

      Awareness may be all there is. Once you catch yourself the first time... and you are willing to change and then catch yourself a moment earlier the second time... you can make a change.

      I have been investigating failure for a number of years. I program items and tasks into my day that I cannot do, accomplish or complete without making a huge mess. It does annoy some people in my life because they are expecting great things ...

      I only noticed yesterday I had turned my infatuation for learning into a collapsed opening. A subtle change makes the same events an opening for action instead. 2010 is going to rock.

      Thank you Randy for being who you are,

      Michael

    12. I am becoming aware of some core values that I need to reprogram to avoid sabotaging myself. Some I have been aware of and I am recognizing them when they come up again. Some new ones come up as you experience life.

    13. Yep, yes, and oh yeah. That's me. Always second-guessing myself. It is for me going to be the most difficult habit to overcome. Wish me luck!

      "There is no 'try'"...Yoda.

      Michele

    14. Great post Randy.. I got one for ya.. "If you do not seek correction your present will hop into your future" and then there is this one that I live by " you don't have to get it right, you just have to get it going" Just think if Bruce Springsteen, Elvis, Oprah, Rachel Ray or any other successful person waited until they were right, got it right ?

    15. I had 18 years of some serious religious programming (home,church,school)...I left that church as soon as I could because I disagreed with a lot but you never know when some of it is going to pop back up.

    16. Here's a where I am good....confession! All I seem to do is confess to myself and others that where I am is my own doing. It is the result of all that I have chosen to do...and all that I have chosen NOT to do.
      The next step for me has to be to stop ACCEPTING that of myself! Somehow I need to stop being so proud of CONFESSING...and start getting off the pot and CHANGING it!! Grrrrrrrrr!!!

    17. Great Post Randy!

      I really like that it applies in so many ways. For example, it you don't get along well with others and it is always their fault. If you have many failed relationships and friendships, looking at the common denominator always (most always) wakes you up. Who is always there?

      Thanks,

      Walt

    18. I love reading all these comments because I fully agree. Now, on to reading other posts by Randy. Need concrete ideas and actions!! And btw, being on your twitter Randy really does inspire me every day. Thanks!

    19. @David Not to mention raped newborns. Reincarnation does not exist but these drugged out libtards use it as excuse to blame the victim! RAIN and other ACLU oughta sue this freak!

    20. This is well written!! Thank you. . People are afraid of their own power and freedom of choice ..perhaps than they would also need to be responsible and self reliant..and that is what they are afraid of..
      All we need to learn is the balance between autonomy and togetherness: we all can be successful, happy and loved and respected at the same time...all other bondings are co- dependency.. indirect ways of getting our needs met...controllers and pelasers, victim mentality state...
      Aleksandra

    Leave a Reply

    Your email address will not be published.

    This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

    © 2020 Prosperity Factory, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Legal Information, Sitemap, Site by PrimeConcepts