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My Career As a Sex Worker

Posted By: Randy GageMarch 26, 2019

Not surprisingly, I got some critical feedback on the last post about the judgments surrounding sex.  People wanted to argue the anti-prosperity elements of pedophilia, sexual abuse and sexual trafficking.  But those charges are clearly meant to distract and deflect from the lack of rational logic in their argument.  I am absolutely against pedophilia, sexual abuse of any kind, and human trafficking, sexual or otherwise.  I believe an enlightened and prosperous society can agree that such behavior is abhorrent and anti-humanity, thus anti-prosperity.  So let’s not confuse the issue with distractions.  The real issue here is people’s right to self-determination, and to make a living for themselves in a way that doesn’t abridge the rights of others.

Some have accused me of being naïve, and not understanding what they view as the emotional toll, self-esteem issues, and long-term mental consequences of sex work.  I find that argument specious because the people making it seem to be basing it on gossip, or what they see portrayed on television.  I come to my conclusions based on my personal experience.

First, I have hired sex workers myself.  I found it to be a pleasant and enjoyable change of pace.  Secondly, I actually dated a sex worker for almost a year.  While we didn’t end up staying together, we had a very healthy, happy relationship for that time.  And most importantly, in my late twenties, I supplemented my meager earnings in the restaurant industry, by working part-time as a male prostitute.

You can argue that there is much abuse and exploitation in the sex trade industry.  I agree.  But there is also much abuse and exploitation in the modeling, music, acting, comedy and countless other industries and professions – and we don’t make those illegal.  (Do you have any idea what exploitation people who are consultants in a big accounting firm go through trying to achieve senior partner status?)

As a sex worker, I never felt exploited, victimized, or experienced any kind of emotional trauma during this time.  And because I'm not one to believe in ancient sky god superstitions, I didn't experience any guilt either.  I saw the work then, and still do today, as just another way I utilized my ambition and entrepreneurial skills to provide for myself.

So if you want to fight against exploitation and for human dignity, I’ll stand shoulder-to-shoulder with you.  Just don’t try and use me to support your dogmas, superstitions, and judgments about sex.

Thoughts?

- RG

17 comments on “My Career As a Sex Worker”

  1. You were not in the 80%. Good for you. This is not justifying at all. You can't just say "I was a sex worker, so sex work is fine". I had a rock band. I never experienced any exploitation, but I know famous bands, which did at the time, when we was played.

    "As a sex worker, I never felt exploited, victimized, or experienced any kind of emotional trauma during this time."

    You were a former criminal with experience of self-defense. You were dangerous and you still are. I was a former criminal too so I can tell from you at a glance. Predators are searching for the weak prey, not for the strong. You should know that too. It is better to not ignore the overall picture. You have simply no right to compare yourself to a little girl.

    Prostitution is a slaveholding. And the best slave is who doesn't know he or she is a slave. Do you really think anybody going into the prostitution business with the goal of "I going to be a prostitute, for giving love and value for lonely people, and for making a world a better place"? Is this the solution? No! They going to the business for non-existent self-esteem, for money, for runaway. Not for to add value to the world. Even the lowest paid physical worker makes the world a better place. They are not. I can't wait for some people, who encouraging his daughter to be a noble sex worker. But we have genderless aliens, so anything can happen.

    Still can't find the point.

      1. Holding slaves or being one has nothing to do with this discussion. That's another emotional distraction from the actual debate.

        1. There was zero emotional distraction in my comment. I repeat: zero. You use an other person as a sex object. You don't care about his or her feelings, just as the slaves feelings was worthless for the slaveholder. Like I said: dangerous thoughts labelling themselves as liberals and fresh.

    1. As a former low-paid physical worker, I can say with confidence that my work at that time absolutely did not make the world a better place. In fact, at least one of my jobs made the world slightly worse. That's why they pay less than living wage - it's not actually valuable work and doesn't contribute anything to society.

  2. Contrarian to the full - and I love it.

    Perhaps disappointingly, I've never worked as a sex worker, clearly your body was more desirable than mine. Nor have I paid for any sex workers, however I have paid for meals, drinks, theatre tickets and other forms of "legitimate" entertainment which led to different forms of sex.

    Would the naysayers to your argument say that this was prostitution? If not, where is the line drawn?

    It reminds me of the old story of a man who was sweet talking a woman and asked her to come to his yacht which had twelve crew members, lavish appointments and sumptuous food and drink for a week away in the Mediterranean. When she agreed quickly, he then said,

    "Alternatively, how about you come upstairs to my suite for an hour of unbridled lust for £100."

    She replied "What do you think I am?"

    "We've already established that, we're just haggling over the price now."

    For those who think this has nothing to do with prosperity, perhaps you have a belief that is a narrow view of prosperity.

    Think Randy has posted about questioning our beliefs before...

  3. I support you 100% on this. You are the one who taught me to stand up inside myself and say “Here I am.”

    Acknowledging and accepting who you are, who you were, and who the you of tomorrow will be is the foundation of prosperity; and I applaud your candor. ~Seanlai

  4. There is a theory about self-determination (tag). It is about the 3 needs we all have (not gender or race specific). Motivation can be positive or negative. What we most think of motivation is actually negative ( doing something for a reward or punishment). Positive motivation is doing something you are interested in , value, and enjoy.

    The power of three. Autonomy, Competency & Relatedness (caring).
    i decided to go back to Rehab (Weight Watchers) for life.

  5. This post is a breath of fresh air in our stagnant and politically correct world where people say what they "should" and not what they feel. The virulent outcry against you for speaking your truth reveals more about the fear and selfrigheousness of your attackers. The biggest evil is judgement. The highest virtue is self acceptance which leads to acceptance of others. I want to interview Nina Hartley on my podcast because she is a smart unapologetic porn star who has more to teach the world about sexual health than her ivory tower critics. Bob Dylan said it beautifully in his song, Absolutely Sweet Marie: "to live outside the law you must be honest..." Rock on, rant on, thrive, and contribute, contribute, contribute, Mr. Not-To-Be-Defined Randy!

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  • 17 comments on “My Career As a Sex Worker”

    1. You were not in the 80%. Good for you. This is not justifying at all. You can't just say "I was a sex worker, so sex work is fine". I had a rock band. I never experienced any exploitation, but I know famous bands, which did at the time, when we was played.

      "As a sex worker, I never felt exploited, victimized, or experienced any kind of emotional trauma during this time."

      You were a former criminal with experience of self-defense. You were dangerous and you still are. I was a former criminal too so I can tell from you at a glance. Predators are searching for the weak prey, not for the strong. You should know that too. It is better to not ignore the overall picture. You have simply no right to compare yourself to a little girl.

      Prostitution is a slaveholding. And the best slave is who doesn't know he or she is a slave. Do you really think anybody going into the prostitution business with the goal of "I going to be a prostitute, for giving love and value for lonely people, and for making a world a better place"? Is this the solution? No! They going to the business for non-existent self-esteem, for money, for runaway. Not for to add value to the world. Even the lowest paid physical worker makes the world a better place. They are not. I can't wait for some people, who encouraging his daughter to be a noble sex worker. But we have genderless aliens, so anything can happen.

      Still can't find the point.

        1. Holding slaves or being one has nothing to do with this discussion. That's another emotional distraction from the actual debate.

          1. There was zero emotional distraction in my comment. I repeat: zero. You use an other person as a sex object. You don't care about his or her feelings, just as the slaves feelings was worthless for the slaveholder. Like I said: dangerous thoughts labelling themselves as liberals and fresh.

      1. As a former low-paid physical worker, I can say with confidence that my work at that time absolutely did not make the world a better place. In fact, at least one of my jobs made the world slightly worse. That's why they pay less than living wage - it's not actually valuable work and doesn't contribute anything to society.

    2. Contrarian to the full - and I love it.

      Perhaps disappointingly, I've never worked as a sex worker, clearly your body was more desirable than mine. Nor have I paid for any sex workers, however I have paid for meals, drinks, theatre tickets and other forms of "legitimate" entertainment which led to different forms of sex.

      Would the naysayers to your argument say that this was prostitution? If not, where is the line drawn?

      It reminds me of the old story of a man who was sweet talking a woman and asked her to come to his yacht which had twelve crew members, lavish appointments and sumptuous food and drink for a week away in the Mediterranean. When she agreed quickly, he then said,

      "Alternatively, how about you come upstairs to my suite for an hour of unbridled lust for £100."

      She replied "What do you think I am?"

      "We've already established that, we're just haggling over the price now."

      For those who think this has nothing to do with prosperity, perhaps you have a belief that is a narrow view of prosperity.

      Think Randy has posted about questioning our beliefs before...

    3. I support you 100% on this. You are the one who taught me to stand up inside myself and say “Here I am.”

      Acknowledging and accepting who you are, who you were, and who the you of tomorrow will be is the foundation of prosperity; and I applaud your candor. ~Seanlai

    4. There is a theory about self-determination (tag). It is about the 3 needs we all have (not gender or race specific). Motivation can be positive or negative. What we most think of motivation is actually negative ( doing something for a reward or punishment). Positive motivation is doing something you are interested in , value, and enjoy.

      The power of three. Autonomy, Competency & Relatedness (caring).
      i decided to go back to Rehab (Weight Watchers) for life.

    5. This post is a breath of fresh air in our stagnant and politically correct world where people say what they "should" and not what they feel. The virulent outcry against you for speaking your truth reveals more about the fear and selfrigheousness of your attackers. The biggest evil is judgement. The highest virtue is self acceptance which leads to acceptance of others. I want to interview Nina Hartley on my podcast because she is a smart unapologetic porn star who has more to teach the world about sexual health than her ivory tower critics. Bob Dylan said it beautifully in his song, Absolutely Sweet Marie: "to live outside the law you must be honest..." Rock on, rant on, thrive, and contribute, contribute, contribute, Mr. Not-To-Be-Defined Randy!

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