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Moving On from Negativity

Posted By: Randy GageNovember 9, 2010

We have a fascinating and intriguing discussion going on yesterday’s post on, Letting Go of a Negative Person. I asked if you release them and move along, or are they there to help you work through issues of your own?  Here’s my take…

It’s no contest for me.  Release them.  Fast!

Now as Brian pointed out, if someone is just going through a bad patch, be loving and give them support.  But I’m talking about the people that just aren’t happy until they’re unhappy.  (And make you unhappy.)

If you release them and they are replaced with someone else with the same issue – then the issue is you.  And you must come to grips with the fact that you are somehow attracting people with that issue.  Which means it’s time for some real introspection.

If you haven't seen this week’s episode of Prosperity TV, be sure and watch it.  It deals with the issue of victim-hood and creating a better story for yourself.  So you want to make sure that’s not what you’re doing in cases like these.

Please check in how you’re doing in this area.  Especially in the five people who are closest to you.

-RG

24 comments on “Moving On from Negativity”

  1. That's a good point Randy.

    If you release the negative person and a similar person shows up in your life, guess who's pattern of thinking needs to be changed?

    I think the question to ask is, how much energy does it take for you to accept of reject the person? Are they worth it? Are they a continual drag or are they seeing the light on a more consistent basis?

    Showing compassion doesn't give you an excuse to abuse yourself, or allow a negative person to steal your time.

    Ryan

  2. -RG,

    I watched the video. I have dealt with it in my life but I think from a different perspective.

    I'm a retired firefighter and needed the "bad" situation to rush into and save the day. That carried over into my personal life.

    Do you think that the "savior" complex and the "victim" complex are the same or related?

    Mahalo,

    -djm

      1. Thanks for answering that question Randy and I'm so glad you asked it Douglas. As an RN who worked in a major trauma center for several years, I've just gained some great new insights. I've left victim-hood in the dust but somehow feel at peace having reached a better understanding about how all that "save the day" stuff plays in. Blessings to you both!

  3. At the end of the day, its all about love and attention. Fascinating video on victim hood (btw, the link opens up yesterday's post - have your developer point it to the youtube video).

  4. Randy,

    I'm grateful you bring this up since it's the people we CHOOSE to surround ourselves that are a direct reflection of who we are.

    Like you said, if we are attracting negative, diseased, glass-half-empty types, we ourselves are thinking those thoughts and holding those beliefs. As we choose new, more abundant, prosperous and Joyful thoughts and beliefs, we will attract those types to us.

    I think its important we purge our circle of the negative people or even those who don't support our vision. In doing so we 'clean house' which in turn allows the vacuum to be formed you mention and new people can flow in..

    At least that's how I view it, anyway!

    Thanks so much!

  5. I think we attract what we are putting out there and if you find there are lots of downers in your life, you are probably being one yourself. Negative people can teach us great lessons about how we are behaving in the world. Nice post. 🙂

  6. Randy, I love the absolute in your statement. I have learned through experience (not just because you teachers tell me so) that life is preciously short; shorter for some. I am unwilling to give away any part of me to negativity so that others can feel validated, which I believe is what they seek until someone indulges them. I have modeled my share of victimhood and I clearly was seeking company so I wouldn't have to do the work. Now, those in my circle challenge me to be the biggest being I can be before I leave this planet. I in turn intend to (and do) then challenge others I come in contact with to give up the 'woe is me' stories, excuses and negativity...just as you do, Randy. Thanks for the post. - Robb

  7. RG,

    In this example I agree. Detach with love and move on quickly to meet your good. This type of thinking stops us from blaming the other person, because I have to ask what did I do to invite this into my life. I was at the scene of every crime.
    Thanks
    Jim

  8. Ah the energy vampires! I have a ten foot radius around me that I call my "drama free zone". If you have a legitimate problem, then come on in and I will help you if I can. If you just want to complain about someone or life in general, stay outside!

  9. Great posts Randy,

    I am looking forward to your view on family.

    When going through your Midas programme you talk about roles we play. This was a huge shift for me. I took the label of family away from my family and assessed my relationship just as people with people. When I did this I realised that (with almost all of them) if they were not my family I wouldn't go within an thousand miles of them.

    The relationships were just based on guilt and obligation rather than love and support. So I released them just like I did any other people. Strange how much of a burden this lifted. I have never felt so good, and free since doing it.

    Also my income has made a massive jump in a very short period of time and all the people I want to be around started to come into my life very quickly.

    They all now hate me for just leaving suddenly, but I don't care. I know that it is much better this way.

  10. Just watched your new video.

    I was wondering how you distinguish between loving huge challenges, such as Richard Branson with Virgin Galactic, or in your baseball taking on the best teams so that you are pushed to the limit and all your reserves are called upon. Taking these challenges on with a huge enjoyment.

    And between being the drama queen or king and being attacked by rubbish victim challenges at every turn.

    I ask because I love the toughest challenges possible and that is when I feel totally alive and I love every minute of it. I see tough competition is the easiest way to find our weaknesses and push to the next level.

    Can the heros journey be turned to a positive when we seek out a huge challenge to take on, rather than being attacked by them?

  11. Randy, how would you handle the "negative person" if he or she is the spouse of a Distributor on your team? Assume the Distributor has reached the first promotion level and is committed to personal growth & growing a huge organization.

  12. absolutelly agree with Randy, but it is like bad ocean waves , they are coming and if you are not ready simply roll to you.But when am working on the protection wall or eliminate a source of them they begin to be smaller and smaller and as you say should be liquidated. Or it can be similar like treatment of drug, alcohol abuse, and dependency on our negative relatives .
    But construction of the protection wall is not simple case , as constructional manager know what`s going on.

    Wencel

  13. A lot of times people look at the negative side of what they feel they can't do. I always look on the positive side of what I can do.

    Chuck Norris

  14. Negativity is everywhere (anger, fear, sadness, chaos and hopelessness) and for those who choose to express their natural characteristics of sanity, harmony, peacefulness, courage and prosperity are living an authentic and divine life.

    I know that I know, I am NOT responsible for the healing of negative/ ill thinking people. Therefore, the Dippers (the drainers) of my Bucket must ultimately wake-up to their natural self on their own. I don't have the luxury to stick around. Life is TOO short and my space is becoming too expensive.

    Randy definitely walks his talk!

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  • 24 comments on “Moving On from Negativity”

    1. That's a good point Randy.

      If you release the negative person and a similar person shows up in your life, guess who's pattern of thinking needs to be changed?

      I think the question to ask is, how much energy does it take for you to accept of reject the person? Are they worth it? Are they a continual drag or are they seeing the light on a more consistent basis?

      Showing compassion doesn't give you an excuse to abuse yourself, or allow a negative person to steal your time.

      Ryan

    2. -RG,

      I watched the video. I have dealt with it in my life but I think from a different perspective.

      I'm a retired firefighter and needed the "bad" situation to rush into and save the day. That carried over into my personal life.

      Do you think that the "savior" complex and the "victim" complex are the same or related?

      Mahalo,

      -djm

        1. Thanks for answering that question Randy and I'm so glad you asked it Douglas. As an RN who worked in a major trauma center for several years, I've just gained some great new insights. I've left victim-hood in the dust but somehow feel at peace having reached a better understanding about how all that "save the day" stuff plays in. Blessings to you both!

    3. At the end of the day, its all about love and attention. Fascinating video on victim hood (btw, the link opens up yesterday's post - have your developer point it to the youtube video).

    4. Randy,

      I'm grateful you bring this up since it's the people we CHOOSE to surround ourselves that are a direct reflection of who we are.

      Like you said, if we are attracting negative, diseased, glass-half-empty types, we ourselves are thinking those thoughts and holding those beliefs. As we choose new, more abundant, prosperous and Joyful thoughts and beliefs, we will attract those types to us.

      I think its important we purge our circle of the negative people or even those who don't support our vision. In doing so we 'clean house' which in turn allows the vacuum to be formed you mention and new people can flow in..

      At least that's how I view it, anyway!

      Thanks so much!

    5. I think we attract what we are putting out there and if you find there are lots of downers in your life, you are probably being one yourself. Negative people can teach us great lessons about how we are behaving in the world. Nice post. 🙂

    6. Randy, I love the absolute in your statement. I have learned through experience (not just because you teachers tell me so) that life is preciously short; shorter for some. I am unwilling to give away any part of me to negativity so that others can feel validated, which I believe is what they seek until someone indulges them. I have modeled my share of victimhood and I clearly was seeking company so I wouldn't have to do the work. Now, those in my circle challenge me to be the biggest being I can be before I leave this planet. I in turn intend to (and do) then challenge others I come in contact with to give up the 'woe is me' stories, excuses and negativity...just as you do, Randy. Thanks for the post. - Robb

    7. RG,

      In this example I agree. Detach with love and move on quickly to meet your good. This type of thinking stops us from blaming the other person, because I have to ask what did I do to invite this into my life. I was at the scene of every crime.
      Thanks
      Jim

    8. Ah the energy vampires! I have a ten foot radius around me that I call my "drama free zone". If you have a legitimate problem, then come on in and I will help you if I can. If you just want to complain about someone or life in general, stay outside!

    9. Great posts Randy,

      I am looking forward to your view on family.

      When going through your Midas programme you talk about roles we play. This was a huge shift for me. I took the label of family away from my family and assessed my relationship just as people with people. When I did this I realised that (with almost all of them) if they were not my family I wouldn't go within an thousand miles of them.

      The relationships were just based on guilt and obligation rather than love and support. So I released them just like I did any other people. Strange how much of a burden this lifted. I have never felt so good, and free since doing it.

      Also my income has made a massive jump in a very short period of time and all the people I want to be around started to come into my life very quickly.

      They all now hate me for just leaving suddenly, but I don't care. I know that it is much better this way.

    10. Just watched your new video.

      I was wondering how you distinguish between loving huge challenges, such as Richard Branson with Virgin Galactic, or in your baseball taking on the best teams so that you are pushed to the limit and all your reserves are called upon. Taking these challenges on with a huge enjoyment.

      And between being the drama queen or king and being attacked by rubbish victim challenges at every turn.

      I ask because I love the toughest challenges possible and that is when I feel totally alive and I love every minute of it. I see tough competition is the easiest way to find our weaknesses and push to the next level.

      Can the heros journey be turned to a positive when we seek out a huge challenge to take on, rather than being attacked by them?

    11. Randy, how would you handle the "negative person" if he or she is the spouse of a Distributor on your team? Assume the Distributor has reached the first promotion level and is committed to personal growth & growing a huge organization.

    12. absolutelly agree with Randy, but it is like bad ocean waves , they are coming and if you are not ready simply roll to you.But when am working on the protection wall or eliminate a source of them they begin to be smaller and smaller and as you say should be liquidated. Or it can be similar like treatment of drug, alcohol abuse, and dependency on our negative relatives .
      But construction of the protection wall is not simple case , as constructional manager know what`s going on.

      Wencel

    13. A lot of times people look at the negative side of what they feel they can't do. I always look on the positive side of what I can do.

      Chuck Norris

    14. Negativity is everywhere (anger, fear, sadness, chaos and hopelessness) and for those who choose to express their natural characteristics of sanity, harmony, peacefulness, courage and prosperity are living an authentic and divine life.

      I know that I know, I am NOT responsible for the healing of negative/ ill thinking people. Therefore, the Dippers (the drainers) of my Bucket must ultimately wake-up to their natural self on their own. I don't have the luxury to stick around. Life is TOO short and my space is becoming too expensive.

      Randy definitely walks his talk!

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