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Letting Go of Lack

Posted By: Randy GageApril 21, 2010

So how do we really let go of lack?  And break patterns that have often been practiced over our entire lifetime?  

Well it’s not easy.  Oops, let’s not affirm that.  I meant to say, ‘It’s easy!’

Ok, enough cute stuff.  The reality is, when you are doing the victim thing, as I was, you probably have a very large investment in remaining a victim.  And there are probably dozens of little things you do every day to maintain that status.

Let’s take being sick as an example.  As you know, this was an issue for me.  In my case, I was manifesting sickness to get attention, affection, and what I perceived as love.  So how does that play out on a daily basis?

Well you probably have four or five people who, whenever they see you, look concerned and ask about your condition.  Every time this happens, you get another chance to be a victim.

You may be on medication that allows you to think about your condition three times more a day.   You have daily routines, little things you do that are about being sick.

And don’t get me started about handicapped parking decals, walkers, wheelchairs and other things like that!

“Now wait a minute,” you say.  “Surely you are not inferring that I can just throw away my wheelchair, braces, or medication?”

No I’m not saying that, simply because I don’t need a lawsuits!  However...

How many people ask for wheelchairs at the airport, but could really do without them?  What kind of subconscious programming are they doing to themselves?  What about all those people that beg their doctor to write a letter that allows them to get a handicapped parking decal?  What’s the message they’re sending themselves?

I do know that all these things can keep you sick, and being a victim.  And I know that sometimes we need them.  The real question is when do we REALLY need them, and when are they actually keeping us sick?

I have a friend with boxes of Kleenex in every room of her house because she has sinus problems.  Which begets the question: Does she have the Kleenex everywhere because she has sinus problems, or does she have sinus problems because she has the Kleenex everywhere?

I see something like this in my softball leagues a lot.  A guy will slide into a base and hurt his knee.  Next week he is wearing a brace.  The week after he has “a bad knee.”  Now the real question is, “Do he have a bad knee – or does a bad knee have him?”

Think about it and please check in below.   Especially thinking how this applies to YOU!

-RG

24 comments on “Letting Go of Lack”

  1. Randy:

    Interesting. This may apply to me, or at least in how I am endeavoring to NOT let it apply to me. I signed up for the first time ever to run a half marathon. My longest distance running in my life is five miles. So 13 is a challenge. Anyway, I've been getting a lot of twinges and weakness in my knee. I'm doing the physical therapist and chiropractor thing to strengthen it, as I refuse to accept the idea of a creeping infirmity. I will choose to pass on lack of knee strength.

  2. What about those who are on some type of public assistance, Disability, SS, SSI, ect. who attack our public servants based on their mediocore salaries because they see them as making too much money!!!

  3. SOMETIMES YOU MAKE ME THINK,SOMETIMES YOU MAKE ME BE UPSET,SOMETIMES YOU MAKE ME DREAM!! AND SOMETIMES,LIKE TODAY YOU MAKE ME LAUGH A LOTS WITH UR COMMENTS!! THANKS RANDY!

  4. I have started to meditate on abundance every day and the training of the mind is how you get out of "lack". It is not a sometime thing, as you know but a daily thing!

    Rock On!

  5. Randy,

    I am not like this. I don't have the sickness problem. I recently had a bout of Bells Palsy. It was really an eyeopener considering I was wearing an eyepatch. People from my church where we talk about be whole perfect would say things like, "Are you OK". and when I told them it was Bells Palsy I got. "You will get over that" "I had it here's what I did" and later on "You Look Better". I went to a party in Lauderdale where the average age was old and dramatic. I got things like "You poor dear" "Ain't it awlful". Everytime I heard that I would say to myself. "That isn't true for me. I am healed" I was very uncomgfortable with that.
    It reminded me of when people compliment me and I blush, because I am not comfortable with the praise. I think deep down I don't deserve it.

    I am sure there are other types of lack acting and thinking.

    Thanks,

    Jim Story

  6. Recognizing the thoughts and not judging those thoughts is key. Noticing any feelings about beliefs and releasing them allows the energy "stucK' inside to move away which, in turn, allows for what you are wanting to come to be.

    I have found EFT is a great and painless way to release limiting beliefs, emotions and pain and opens the door to the land of possibilities.

  7. Never seen it but i says that some people do not leave home without suspenders , belt , raincoat , umbrella and parachute.

    My mother have had both hips replaced due to traumatic injurys and right before this her normal posture was leaning forward cause "this is what you do when you get old" but only when knowed that she was observed by us . We live next door to her and have daily contact.
    Now she is walking very stiff bad and unsecured specially when she have homecare assitance with her or when she know that we observe her.
    When she thinks she is out of sight she dramatically improved in her action.
    The thing is that she is in a tremendous good physical health due to several years of high tecnology suppliments but she is carrying a backpack of a lot of drama stories about her history of not taking care of her six children.
    Anyway I do love her for giving me the gift of life and I do care for her very very much but we do nag on her to keep walking tall and be more positve in her posture. she is turning 82 years soon and still have a attractive outlook and very charming.

    I do hope I dont heredit these rackets.
    Thanx Mr Randy for important insights.

  8. EEK, I'd better get the neti pot for sure and stop kvetching! 🙂
    This is great info...thanks for hitting the nail on the head.
    NDS

  9. My father was deathly sick, and I asked for an advice from a natural doctor who replied:You know, the biggest problem with seriously sick people is that they think about their sickness 24 hours a day...
    Having read "As a man Thinketh now" i realise that my final lines in this post will be as following(BY james Allen)about a life without lack: Let a man cease from his sinful thoughts and all the world will soften towards him, and be ready to help him. Let him put away his weakly and sickly thoughts, and the opportunities will spring up on every hand to aid his strong resolves.

  10. Randy, now that I look back, I do see how that being a victim was my way for getting attention. However, when I take a corrected look, that was really a stupid way to get attention and most times it was only short lived. I am tired of being a victim and a hero, I am moving forward with my life. Thanks Randy

  11. Randy,

    I think that a real pressing way to get away from lack is to continuously have a burning desire in front of us at all times. This will keep us moving forward in spite of what we may feel are limitations or lack.

    Also practicing being grateful for what we do have might also work in this area.

    So the guy who hurt his knee could be grateful for a least having one good knee.

    Here's to Your LifetoSuccess,

    John Clark

  12. You are right on. I just had a session with a client today who wanted to remain in "survival" (read victim) mode. He's a real estate agent with more transactions in process than he's ever had in his career. Yes, one of his clients has been a jerk. Yes, one of the agents on the other side of the table has been a jerk. Yes, he's got financial issues. But his life is getting a lot better. By the time we finished the session, he realized that "survival mode" was just an illusion he was perpetuating.

  13. Randy,
    Reading your stuff just makes me smile! So well said.
    I used to be one who got sick , REALLY bad, just for a day, so I could get someone to share the load. A day was all could stand! I learnt that saying 'no' to to picking up other peoples' slack was a much better way. If I EVER have symptoms in my body, I address myself internally. They always leave. I don't want or need sickness for anything, let alone manipulating others through some false sense of piouty or worse, pity.

    I also found that when I was looking for a reason for not 'succeeding' at something as well as I could, I could fill my day with 'marytr martha' activities, self sacrificing till there was nothing left for me to give my own endeavours. Common female ailment, I believe.
    Now, this can still be a stretch for me, but I'm recognising my own games as a master tactician to justify 'not doing', and blaming no one else, so I make better choices...mostly 😉

    Keep them coming! 🙂
    Lisa In Oz

  14. R-
    this is so true. you know, from previous post comments, that i worked in nursing my entire life until i moved to texas. i saw it ALL. do you know how difficult it was working in that environment, but having a mind over matter, hung-by-the-tongue, life or death is in the power of the tongue, mentality? i know people got tired of me correcting their confession, but...."you have what you say!"

    i do have tremendous compassion for our elderly. i have witnessed their capacity to overcome and continue life despite tremendous pain, etc. but....most of them didn't have the option to be a victim...they had to keep on. our society no longer has that same mindset. ( i did meet quite a few whiners, but... i love them anyway)
    what disturbs me is the fact that most of our "disabilities" are self inflicted directly related to our hand-to-mouth disorder, poor nutrition, gluttony and laziness. (i say this while munching on nuts drinking my glass of wine......but i have had a perfect diet day today!)

    you understand what i'm sayng? in his book--the next trillion, paul zane pilzer rebukes the fact that people are conditioned to accept we will inheirit familial diseases, should accept the aging process, etc.
    i rebuke too & say, NO WAY! that would make me a "victim" of sickness. i don't accept that any more than i accept someone telling me i have to retire at 65. who are they? i will enjoy health, healing & wholeness, just as i will enjoy abundant life and prosperity. i will enjoy not be a victim of the sickness industry & will retire this year....early!

    thanks RG-
    g-

  15. You know, I think the way I got rid of lack was simply giving up on it. I struggled with self-confidence for many years and, quite honestly, can look back at myself and see how many compliments I flat-out ignored...or found reasons why living up to them was "too hard."

    How did I get rid of it? Sheer dogged determination. Listening to that "Something's not right" ache in the back of my mind as others bemoan the scarcity of resources. In my current environment--determined to move at the end of summer--it's a battle. I focus on me and my beliefs, hell bent on growing as much as I can in the interim.

  16. I remember when I first heard you speak about this. I stopped and did some serious soul searching. What did I discover? Not so big surprise, I too used illness or injuries to get attention which I perceived as love. I grew up in family like yours that did not believe in showing affection or reveal feelings. I grew up thinking I was just there. Not really wanted, kids just came with marriage. (Or so my mother told me.) Anyway to make a long story short. I did come to realize I was using illness and injuries to get what I perceived as love.
    You know since I came to that realization, I hardly get sick anymore. I haven't been sick in over a year. I don't need it or want it. I did get a migrain at work a few weeks back and had to leave early. I was mad at myself for letting it happen. I did not have medication on me that would have prevented the whole situtaion. After that setback, I make sure my medication with me and more importantly, I try not to let myself get so stressed that I get a headache to begin with. I don't get those headaches very often, but I am working on preventing the triggers as much as possible.
    I really don't like the kind of attention it draws. I would much rather be recognized for my accomplishments than what kind of illness I manifested today.

  17. For years I suffered from Atopic Dermatitis. The sickness became a part of me. It defined me. I became known as the guy who has very sensitive skin. I think one can let go of the things that encourages scarcity thinking by simply acknowledging that it his real identity. We are much more than the "man with the bad back" or the "lady with migraine" or the "sickly girl who needs special care." I think it all boils down to knowing who we really are.

  18. Your blogs are right on the money. I have lived all my life being taught & thinking that I can't take care of myself. I'm not capable, I need other people to help me get through life. I missed a HUGE opportunity to grow when I was younger because my family didn't want me being alone on an island far away from home; the sad thing is I caved, when I wanted to stay. I didn't realize it until just a few years ago that was how I have been living my life, by other people's rules. Now I'm in a marriage where my spouse continually tries to tell me that I need a man to take care of me, and I keep telling myself, 'no, that's not true'. The really sad part is he thinks he is the most positive person out there. He's always worried about saving for retirement, that's his ultimate goal. And when I say I want more, to do more, go out more, not necessarily spend a boat load of money, but just do something other than go to work, come home, eat dinner, watch tv, go to bed and do it all over again. I want to live life now, not live for retirement. We are separated, but I'm finding it difficult to just pull the plug. Why? He's been there w/me through some tough times, & I guess out of loyalty. It isn't my job to change him, so how do you get past a person like that if you do stay?? IDK. But I do know I refuse to limit myself any more. I can and will live life on my own terms.
    Thanks Randy for these blogs, you have no idea how much they mean.

  19. Great post from you today.
    I am going to be teaching a class for the
    elderly in fall prevention. I am having a hesitation
    about this because I have a feeling I will be with
    victims for 2 hours a week.
    I hope it is not contagious.

    Don

  20. Yeah your point is valid. I can see where I have embraced the victim role quite well in my life.
    I sincerely do thank you for opening my mind to recognize it as such and change not only my thinking, but my activity, goals, and outlook. You're the man Randy 🙂

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  • 24 comments on “Letting Go of Lack”

    1. Randy:

      Interesting. This may apply to me, or at least in how I am endeavoring to NOT let it apply to me. I signed up for the first time ever to run a half marathon. My longest distance running in my life is five miles. So 13 is a challenge. Anyway, I've been getting a lot of twinges and weakness in my knee. I'm doing the physical therapist and chiropractor thing to strengthen it, as I refuse to accept the idea of a creeping infirmity. I will choose to pass on lack of knee strength.

    2. What about those who are on some type of public assistance, Disability, SS, SSI, ect. who attack our public servants based on their mediocore salaries because they see them as making too much money!!!

    3. SOMETIMES YOU MAKE ME THINK,SOMETIMES YOU MAKE ME BE UPSET,SOMETIMES YOU MAKE ME DREAM!! AND SOMETIMES,LIKE TODAY YOU MAKE ME LAUGH A LOTS WITH UR COMMENTS!! THANKS RANDY!

    4. I have started to meditate on abundance every day and the training of the mind is how you get out of "lack". It is not a sometime thing, as you know but a daily thing!

      Rock On!

    5. Randy,

      I am not like this. I don't have the sickness problem. I recently had a bout of Bells Palsy. It was really an eyeopener considering I was wearing an eyepatch. People from my church where we talk about be whole perfect would say things like, "Are you OK". and when I told them it was Bells Palsy I got. "You will get over that" "I had it here's what I did" and later on "You Look Better". I went to a party in Lauderdale where the average age was old and dramatic. I got things like "You poor dear" "Ain't it awlful". Everytime I heard that I would say to myself. "That isn't true for me. I am healed" I was very uncomgfortable with that.
      It reminded me of when people compliment me and I blush, because I am not comfortable with the praise. I think deep down I don't deserve it.

      I am sure there are other types of lack acting and thinking.

      Thanks,

      Jim Story

    6. Recognizing the thoughts and not judging those thoughts is key. Noticing any feelings about beliefs and releasing them allows the energy "stucK' inside to move away which, in turn, allows for what you are wanting to come to be.

      I have found EFT is a great and painless way to release limiting beliefs, emotions and pain and opens the door to the land of possibilities.

    7. Never seen it but i says that some people do not leave home without suspenders , belt , raincoat , umbrella and parachute.

      My mother have had both hips replaced due to traumatic injurys and right before this her normal posture was leaning forward cause "this is what you do when you get old" but only when knowed that she was observed by us . We live next door to her and have daily contact.
      Now she is walking very stiff bad and unsecured specially when she have homecare assitance with her or when she know that we observe her.
      When she thinks she is out of sight she dramatically improved in her action.
      The thing is that she is in a tremendous good physical health due to several years of high tecnology suppliments but she is carrying a backpack of a lot of drama stories about her history of not taking care of her six children.
      Anyway I do love her for giving me the gift of life and I do care for her very very much but we do nag on her to keep walking tall and be more positve in her posture. she is turning 82 years soon and still have a attractive outlook and very charming.

      I do hope I dont heredit these rackets.
      Thanx Mr Randy for important insights.

    8. EEK, I'd better get the neti pot for sure and stop kvetching! 🙂
      This is great info...thanks for hitting the nail on the head.
      NDS

    9. My father was deathly sick, and I asked for an advice from a natural doctor who replied:You know, the biggest problem with seriously sick people is that they think about their sickness 24 hours a day...
      Having read "As a man Thinketh now" i realise that my final lines in this post will be as following(BY james Allen)about a life without lack: Let a man cease from his sinful thoughts and all the world will soften towards him, and be ready to help him. Let him put away his weakly and sickly thoughts, and the opportunities will spring up on every hand to aid his strong resolves.

    10. Randy, now that I look back, I do see how that being a victim was my way for getting attention. However, when I take a corrected look, that was really a stupid way to get attention and most times it was only short lived. I am tired of being a victim and a hero, I am moving forward with my life. Thanks Randy

    11. Randy,

      I think that a real pressing way to get away from lack is to continuously have a burning desire in front of us at all times. This will keep us moving forward in spite of what we may feel are limitations or lack.

      Also practicing being grateful for what we do have might also work in this area.

      So the guy who hurt his knee could be grateful for a least having one good knee.

      Here's to Your LifetoSuccess,

      John Clark

    12. You are right on. I just had a session with a client today who wanted to remain in "survival" (read victim) mode. He's a real estate agent with more transactions in process than he's ever had in his career. Yes, one of his clients has been a jerk. Yes, one of the agents on the other side of the table has been a jerk. Yes, he's got financial issues. But his life is getting a lot better. By the time we finished the session, he realized that "survival mode" was just an illusion he was perpetuating.

    13. Randy,
      Reading your stuff just makes me smile! So well said.
      I used to be one who got sick , REALLY bad, just for a day, so I could get someone to share the load. A day was all could stand! I learnt that saying 'no' to to picking up other peoples' slack was a much better way. If I EVER have symptoms in my body, I address myself internally. They always leave. I don't want or need sickness for anything, let alone manipulating others through some false sense of piouty or worse, pity.

      I also found that when I was looking for a reason for not 'succeeding' at something as well as I could, I could fill my day with 'marytr martha' activities, self sacrificing till there was nothing left for me to give my own endeavours. Common female ailment, I believe.
      Now, this can still be a stretch for me, but I'm recognising my own games as a master tactician to justify 'not doing', and blaming no one else, so I make better choices...mostly 😉

      Keep them coming! 🙂
      Lisa In Oz

    14. R-
      this is so true. you know, from previous post comments, that i worked in nursing my entire life until i moved to texas. i saw it ALL. do you know how difficult it was working in that environment, but having a mind over matter, hung-by-the-tongue, life or death is in the power of the tongue, mentality? i know people got tired of me correcting their confession, but...."you have what you say!"

      i do have tremendous compassion for our elderly. i have witnessed their capacity to overcome and continue life despite tremendous pain, etc. but....most of them didn't have the option to be a victim...they had to keep on. our society no longer has that same mindset. ( i did meet quite a few whiners, but... i love them anyway)
      what disturbs me is the fact that most of our "disabilities" are self inflicted directly related to our hand-to-mouth disorder, poor nutrition, gluttony and laziness. (i say this while munching on nuts drinking my glass of wine......but i have had a perfect diet day today!)

      you understand what i'm sayng? in his book--the next trillion, paul zane pilzer rebukes the fact that people are conditioned to accept we will inheirit familial diseases, should accept the aging process, etc.
      i rebuke too & say, NO WAY! that would make me a "victim" of sickness. i don't accept that any more than i accept someone telling me i have to retire at 65. who are they? i will enjoy health, healing & wholeness, just as i will enjoy abundant life and prosperity. i will enjoy not be a victim of the sickness industry & will retire this year....early!

      thanks RG-
      g-

    15. You know, I think the way I got rid of lack was simply giving up on it. I struggled with self-confidence for many years and, quite honestly, can look back at myself and see how many compliments I flat-out ignored...or found reasons why living up to them was "too hard."

      How did I get rid of it? Sheer dogged determination. Listening to that "Something's not right" ache in the back of my mind as others bemoan the scarcity of resources. In my current environment--determined to move at the end of summer--it's a battle. I focus on me and my beliefs, hell bent on growing as much as I can in the interim.

    16. I remember when I first heard you speak about this. I stopped and did some serious soul searching. What did I discover? Not so big surprise, I too used illness or injuries to get attention which I perceived as love. I grew up in family like yours that did not believe in showing affection or reveal feelings. I grew up thinking I was just there. Not really wanted, kids just came with marriage. (Or so my mother told me.) Anyway to make a long story short. I did come to realize I was using illness and injuries to get what I perceived as love.
      You know since I came to that realization, I hardly get sick anymore. I haven't been sick in over a year. I don't need it or want it. I did get a migrain at work a few weeks back and had to leave early. I was mad at myself for letting it happen. I did not have medication on me that would have prevented the whole situtaion. After that setback, I make sure my medication with me and more importantly, I try not to let myself get so stressed that I get a headache to begin with. I don't get those headaches very often, but I am working on preventing the triggers as much as possible.
      I really don't like the kind of attention it draws. I would much rather be recognized for my accomplishments than what kind of illness I manifested today.

    17. For years I suffered from Atopic Dermatitis. The sickness became a part of me. It defined me. I became known as the guy who has very sensitive skin. I think one can let go of the things that encourages scarcity thinking by simply acknowledging that it his real identity. We are much more than the "man with the bad back" or the "lady with migraine" or the "sickly girl who needs special care." I think it all boils down to knowing who we really are.

    18. Your blogs are right on the money. I have lived all my life being taught & thinking that I can't take care of myself. I'm not capable, I need other people to help me get through life. I missed a HUGE opportunity to grow when I was younger because my family didn't want me being alone on an island far away from home; the sad thing is I caved, when I wanted to stay. I didn't realize it until just a few years ago that was how I have been living my life, by other people's rules. Now I'm in a marriage where my spouse continually tries to tell me that I need a man to take care of me, and I keep telling myself, 'no, that's not true'. The really sad part is he thinks he is the most positive person out there. He's always worried about saving for retirement, that's his ultimate goal. And when I say I want more, to do more, go out more, not necessarily spend a boat load of money, but just do something other than go to work, come home, eat dinner, watch tv, go to bed and do it all over again. I want to live life now, not live for retirement. We are separated, but I'm finding it difficult to just pull the plug. Why? He's been there w/me through some tough times, & I guess out of loyalty. It isn't my job to change him, so how do you get past a person like that if you do stay?? IDK. But I do know I refuse to limit myself any more. I can and will live life on my own terms.
      Thanks Randy for these blogs, you have no idea how much they mean.

    19. Great post from you today.
      I am going to be teaching a class for the
      elderly in fall prevention. I am having a hesitation
      about this because I have a feeling I will be with
      victims for 2 hours a week.
      I hope it is not contagious.

      Don

    20. Yeah your point is valid. I can see where I have embraced the victim role quite well in my life.
      I sincerely do thank you for opening my mind to recognize it as such and change not only my thinking, but my activity, goals, and outlook. You're the man Randy 🙂

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