So in yesterday’s post we discussed letting go of negative people and introduced the question of when do you go too far, become judgmental, and isolate yourself from the world. Now that’s a fascinating question. And one that may cause us to question the premise…
Because I hear a lot in the self-development space things like, “It’s not a judgment, I’m just saying…” But I think it often is a judgment and that is not necessarily bad.
If you’re an addict and you hang around others doing drugs, it’s going to be a lot easier to slip back into negative behavior. Wouldn’t it be prudent to make a judgment about those people and decide not to expose yourself to them? And we can make the same argument for dysfunctional relationships and a lot of other situations.
Aundrea, Genesta, and Diane raised the issue about the opportunity to grow as a person and have a positive influence on someone else. A very valid point indeed. Here’s my take on it…
Your first concern and even your responsibility, is your own health and well being. If you are new in recovery and susceptible to backslide, you’re in no position to help someone else. You need to distance yourself from temptation as far and as fast as possible.
And trying to drag someone across the finish line very seldom produces positive results for anyone. If you think they are trying to drag you back to the other side, better to make a judgment and stay away. If you're secure in your situation and you can reach down and help someone else, by all means do it! That’s what makes the world work. But it only works if you can pull the other person up, not have them pull you down. And that’s a judgment you need to make.
Now there’s a difference between making a judgment and being judgmental, which is criticizing others. Everyone is at a different consciousness and has the right to make their own decisions about their life. We need to have empathy, sympathy and look at others with love. AND it’s okay to set boundaries of what you won’t accept in your own life.
As Patrick mentioned, the people in your life are going to continually change and evolve as the life process continues. And how your consciousness develops greatly influences the people you attract into your space.
So how you doing on that?
Are you attracting positive people into your space? Are you the kind of person people want to attract into theirs? Please share your thoughts below. And next post I sharing a very humbling experience I went through in this regard.