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How Your Self-Sabotage Gets Started

Posted By: Randy GageAugust 26, 2018

Last post we explored how your well-meaning parents (or others) probably screwed up your life.  This is usually done inadvertently, but this doesn’t make the damage any less destructive.  (And possibly more so.)

They give you a potential belief.  You adopt it.  Then that belief becomes a foundation influence on every major decision and action you take for the rest of your life.  Seriously.

Your parents tell you one of the evergreen memes about money such as, “We may not be rich, but at least we’re honest.”

You mentally process this as “rich people must be dishonest. I’m glad we’re poor because that means I’m honest. Rich people are bad people, poor people are good people.”

That is a core, foundational belief about money.  A limiting belief like this one is reinforced literally millions of times for you, by organized religion, the government, pop culture, mass media, and your friends and family.  Then every time you’re exposed to that belief, it’s another impression anchoring it in your subconscious mind.  Now every important decision or action you take (or don’t take) is strongly influenced by the filter this belief creates.

You could actually turn down a job when you’re 20, reject a potential investment when you’re 30, and sabotage a promotion when you’re 40 – all because of a belief that you unknowingly adopted when you were six years old.

And you will continue self-sabotaging yourself when you’re 50, 60 and 70, if you don’t break the cycle.  That’s where we’ll pick up on the next post.  Until then, I’d love to hear your thoughts.

-RG

7 comments on “How Your Self-Sabotage Gets Started”

  1. How do we break this cycle when it seems like it’s too late? I am 41 years old and realize that I’m way behind my peer group in terms of money making due to limiting beliefs and bad decisions. Quitting a job at 26 years old to take another job that didn’t pan out. Launching a business at 34 that failed by the time I was 40. Then broke at 40 and starting out at the bottom in my current job. I feel like I have no time left to catch up…Any thoughts?

    1. I really want to address this in the next podcast. Dude, you have sooooooo much time left. You have learned (I hope) some very valuable lessons along this journey which will help you immeasurably in your next chapter. Look for more on this in the podcast on Wednesday. -RG

      1. Joseph - what I have discovered on my long journey on this planet is that this is one of 2 mindsets most people believe. Either they think they are too old to start something new or they think they will always have time to do what they really want to do such as starting a business, travel more, etc. The problem with either line of thinking is that it keeps the individual from doing what they really want to be doing, and by the time they wake up and try to do what they really wanted to do, it is too late. I have heard hundreds of people lament about "I wish I would have". Nothing is worse than hearing someone whine about "would've, should've, could've".

        In regards to your specific statement, please allow me to give my 2 cents worth (it's probably 5 cents now with inflation, but what the hell). 1st and foremost, work on keeping excellent health. If you are sick and/or in pain, all of your energy is expended on trying to feel good. You will have very little time to devote to any of your projects especially increasing your financial wealth. I would recommend you purchase the book "HOW NOT TO DIE" by Doctor Greger and follow it religiously. You will be amazed as to what it does for your quality of life. Next, surround yourself with positive thinking, motivated people. Nothing can make you depressed faster than some perpetual crybaby was always whining about "Why Me?". (There's an idea for a big money maker - we print T-shirts that state "Why Me" in big, bold letters on the front; we could surely sell them to 95% of the population).

        Last, but definitely not least, you need to get rid of the typical 9 to 5 mindset of the typical worker. I don't know about your work ethic or your entrepreneurial spirit, but what I have found about most people is although they say they want to be their own boss, they just can't do it. They really want to be off of work by 5 PM so they can go out and have a beer with their friends, play video games, or whatever tickles your fancy (in other words, going to the stripper bar to get their fancy tickled, but I digress). They need the comfort and security of a steady paycheck (and Randy has explained several times the dangers of having the mindset that has a propensity toward mediocrity and very little risk). The entrepreneurial mindset has no yearly or hourly time limit. You do what you have to do whenever it needs to be done. You never think about retirement because what you are doing means much more than just getting a paycheck and forcing your ass to get out of bed in the morning when you don't want to.

        I hope this has helped. This is an overview of a few things I believe will help you in determining what direction you want to go. Randy should be able to help you with the intricate minutia of how to reach your goals more so than I since he is an expert in this field and has been doing it forever and a day. In conclusion, 41 years of age is far from being over the hill. You have plenty of time to accomplish what you really want to accomplish. Here's something to think about: I often have people tell me they want to do something to change their lives (starting a business, finish their college degree, start painting, etc., etc.) but are reluctant to do it because it will take them years (usually they will use 5 years - must be the average years that most people think it will take to accomplish something) before it comes to fruition. They will say things such as, "I would like to get my college degree but it will take me 4 years to get it and by then, I will be 45 years old!". I then reply, "Well, how old will you be in 4 years if you don't get it?".

    2. Lets say you gonna die at age 80. You still have 40 years for living in prosperity. It is still the other half. By the way, the human is genetically programmed for living an average 140 years. Think about that. Maybe dying at 70-90 is just and other negative mind virus.

  2. I think the core beliefs are the ones we are born with. We have a home, food, love. We are connected to Spirit. Poverty is learned. Money is learned. Inequality is learned. Hate is learned.

  3. It's like they teach you in an airplane: you only can take care of other people when you first take care for yourself.

    Good people do more good things when they have more money.

    Think and Grow Rich is not about the amount of money but about the person you become with more money.

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  • 7 comments on “How Your Self-Sabotage Gets Started”

    1. How do we break this cycle when it seems like it’s too late? I am 41 years old and realize that I’m way behind my peer group in terms of money making due to limiting beliefs and bad decisions. Quitting a job at 26 years old to take another job that didn’t pan out. Launching a business at 34 that failed by the time I was 40. Then broke at 40 and starting out at the bottom in my current job. I feel like I have no time left to catch up…Any thoughts?

      1. I really want to address this in the next podcast. Dude, you have sooooooo much time left. You have learned (I hope) some very valuable lessons along this journey which will help you immeasurably in your next chapter. Look for more on this in the podcast on Wednesday. -RG

        1. Joseph - what I have discovered on my long journey on this planet is that this is one of 2 mindsets most people believe. Either they think they are too old to start something new or they think they will always have time to do what they really want to do such as starting a business, travel more, etc. The problem with either line of thinking is that it keeps the individual from doing what they really want to be doing, and by the time they wake up and try to do what they really wanted to do, it is too late. I have heard hundreds of people lament about "I wish I would have". Nothing is worse than hearing someone whine about "would've, should've, could've".

          In regards to your specific statement, please allow me to give my 2 cents worth (it's probably 5 cents now with inflation, but what the hell). 1st and foremost, work on keeping excellent health. If you are sick and/or in pain, all of your energy is expended on trying to feel good. You will have very little time to devote to any of your projects especially increasing your financial wealth. I would recommend you purchase the book "HOW NOT TO DIE" by Doctor Greger and follow it religiously. You will be amazed as to what it does for your quality of life. Next, surround yourself with positive thinking, motivated people. Nothing can make you depressed faster than some perpetual crybaby was always whining about "Why Me?". (There's an idea for a big money maker - we print T-shirts that state "Why Me" in big, bold letters on the front; we could surely sell them to 95% of the population).

          Last, but definitely not least, you need to get rid of the typical 9 to 5 mindset of the typical worker. I don't know about your work ethic or your entrepreneurial spirit, but what I have found about most people is although they say they want to be their own boss, they just can't do it. They really want to be off of work by 5 PM so they can go out and have a beer with their friends, play video games, or whatever tickles your fancy (in other words, going to the stripper bar to get their fancy tickled, but I digress). They need the comfort and security of a steady paycheck (and Randy has explained several times the dangers of having the mindset that has a propensity toward mediocrity and very little risk). The entrepreneurial mindset has no yearly or hourly time limit. You do what you have to do whenever it needs to be done. You never think about retirement because what you are doing means much more than just getting a paycheck and forcing your ass to get out of bed in the morning when you don't want to.

          I hope this has helped. This is an overview of a few things I believe will help you in determining what direction you want to go. Randy should be able to help you with the intricate minutia of how to reach your goals more so than I since he is an expert in this field and has been doing it forever and a day. In conclusion, 41 years of age is far from being over the hill. You have plenty of time to accomplish what you really want to accomplish. Here's something to think about: I often have people tell me they want to do something to change their lives (starting a business, finish their college degree, start painting, etc., etc.) but are reluctant to do it because it will take them years (usually they will use 5 years - must be the average years that most people think it will take to accomplish something) before it comes to fruition. They will say things such as, "I would like to get my college degree but it will take me 4 years to get it and by then, I will be 45 years old!". I then reply, "Well, how old will you be in 4 years if you don't get it?".

      2. Lets say you gonna die at age 80. You still have 40 years for living in prosperity. It is still the other half. By the way, the human is genetically programmed for living an average 140 years. Think about that. Maybe dying at 70-90 is just and other negative mind virus.

    2. I think the core beliefs are the ones we are born with. We have a home, food, love. We are connected to Spirit. Poverty is learned. Money is learned. Inequality is learned. Hate is learned.

    3. It's like they teach you in an airplane: you only can take care of other people when you first take care for yourself.

      Good people do more good things when they have more money.

      Think and Grow Rich is not about the amount of money but about the person you become with more money.

    Leave a Reply to Randy Gage Cancel reply

    Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


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