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How You See Yourself

Posted By: Randy GageOctober 27, 2011

What a fascinating series we’ve had on subconscious beliefs you may be infected with.   If you haven’t caught them all, be sure to do so and make sure to catch the discussion in the  comments.  There are some powerful insights about limiting beliefs about parenting, religion and money.  Let’s explore all this a little deeper…

When you wake up in the middle of a dream about yourself, how did you see yourself in that dream?

Let’s suppose you want to lose weight, because you’re 40 pounds overweight.  If you saw yourself as the way you are now, not the way you want to be, that is a problem.  Because it means that the way you see yourself is the heavier version.

This same thing holds true to where you see yourself in the socioeconomic spectrum.  Because how you see yourself in that spectrum, usually determines where you stay in it.

Suppose like me you were raised in an environment of limited means.  You might have had a suit and tie (or ladies a fine evening dress) that you “had” to wear for weddings, funerals, bar mitzvahs, etc.  You never really went to events where there were people with a lot of money. If you met someone that was rich, you probably felt uncomfortable.

In my case, I grew up hating to have to wear a tie.  Unsure how to act at dinners and business luncheons.  (Which ice tea glass was mine, whose bread plate was that, and what was I supposed to do with all those forks?)  Nervous about appearing to be out of my element.

Which of course, I was…

Funny how things can change when you change your consciousness.  I never have to dress up or wear a tie these days.  I get to.  Shopping for clothes used to be a chore.  When you have money and can buy cool stuff, it’s actually fun.  When you have a closet full of dope suits and gorgeous silk ties, it’s a lot of fun to dress up for a function.

So how about you? 

Here are some questions to ask yourself to determine how you see yourself in the socioeconomic food chain:

Do you own some fine evening clothes?  Do you enjoy dressing up for an evening out?  Are you comfortable in the social graces, and relaxed when attending a black tie event?

Do you attend performances by the symphony, Opera or the ballet – or would you rather stick a fork in your eye?  How do you feel in a Country Club?

Are you comfortable around people with money and education, or do they intimidate you?  Food for thought…

Please share yours below.

-RG

28 comments on “How You See Yourself”

  1. I am glad you brought this topic up. I just attended a black tie affair for the united negro college fund. I enjoy dressing up for formal affairs.

  2. I imagine right now, to not think about not being invited to go there or not buying a ticket to go there, yet - just thinking of why yould I feel a little uncomfortable? ...and I would feel a bit uncomfortable! Not totally, but a bit. No, no money issue. Why? I know I wouldn´t be able to share their conversations - can´t offer sophisticated topics or family topics - to talk about or throw-in good arguments and join a runnin gconversation. Would be the permanent listener, no tmuch fun - so, how could I start joining their chats when being totally new?

  3. As always an interesting post! I am now trying to remember if I see myself in my dreams at all or is everything I dream in first person shooter mode?

  4. Have never heard this topic discussed before. Wow, what an eye-opener! I am happy to say I am lookin' good in my dreams - always in my peak shape;) Whew, what a relief! Gonna start paying better attention to other things too. Thanks for the insight Randy!

  5. I have to watch myself in my next dream - do I have this extra 60 pounds or not?

    I feel very comfortable when successful people are around me - I can feel their energy infecting me.

  6. I adore black tie affairs. Cocktail parties, business gatherings, theater, benefits...I love them all. Any chance to schmooze.

    One of the best advice nuggets I ever got? When you're in a room of people and feel like you don't have much to add to the conversation? is an AWESOME time to practice LISTENING. And the more you listen, the more you learn; next time you can start your own conversation.

    Good night everyone!

  7. OOOH... education is a good one! I know it is slightly off of what you talked about, but it is a great point in respect to people's belief's in how they see themselves and where they 'belong'. I love hearing you express yourself and can feel the difference in your language than someone of lower prosperity mindset. You have inspired me to make a list of topics on a sheet of paper and try to reword them for a more prosperous way of saying whatever it is. Thank you again, sir.
    John

  8. Interesting questions Randy.. So here's my $.025 worth..

    No, I do not have a tuxedo, though I do own some designer sport jackets and a couple of outdated suits. Since I grew up in Entertainment, I prefer to wear designer jeans, a nice shirt, sports jacket and cool shoes as opposed to a suit. But once the money begins to flow (which it will), I am definitely planning on an entirely new wardrobe. I DO enjoy getting dressed. In fact a friend and I are going to see Kevin Spacey's performance of "Richard III" tonight in San Francisco. Can hardly wait!! I also love going to the SF Symphony and any 'high art' as well as a comedy club or anything in between.

    I'm VERY comfortable around people with money and embrace the opportunity to be around them. I find they're FAR more interesting than most and have great stories. I have recently made a friend who owns a vintage car business where the average car sells for around $250K and both he and is wife are wonderful. You can only imagine who is colleagues and friends are.. It's all about Ferrari and Bugatti etc.

    In the end, people are people. I LOVE being around all types of people and whether at a dive bar or '45 Bordeaux tasting, I'm at home. I find that my listening skills are superior which is why people I meet are quick to want to develop a friendship. Those that don't listen, rarely learn and may often be disregarded by someone new.. At least that's been my experience.

  9. Parents were educated high income earners. Dad belonged to THE club to be in in Toronto - the RCYC. Mom was a successful business woman after she was laid off. This is the environment I grew up in. Looking back they still had lack thinking and associated wanting more or looking for opportunities as greed. They bought a retirement cottage ( if they want to call it that ) in an area where there was tremendous opportunity for investment in real estate ( bare waterfront ) but really did not go for it. I love going to the Concert hall all dressed up. Sibelius is one of my favourites. Give me a nice forceful rendition of Finlandia and I am happy. I really enjoy a nice evening out on the town and am willing to pay for a good meal. I am comfortable around people with money and education ( Polite Society ). Actually, I am most comfortable with these kinds of people.

    1. Sibelius is one of the greats; his Symphonies are fantastic! From the lush and romantic Second to the granitic Fourth.

  10. I'm in the process of moving to Napa and I love going to wine tastings and events.. just cringe when you see the younger crowd all slobbed out at them.. even casual tastings you want to be wearing a nice pair of dockers and and a sport shirt.. then for a wine dinner I like to wear a tie and jacket... although again, it's not de rigeur.. only problem ruined a couple of nice silk ties with wine or sauce stains.. just so easy to do and once they get a stain, it's usually over...

  11. Oh, I do not feel inferior next to a king or superior next to a beggar, said a friend once and I share that statement.

    on the 24th. I was invited to a birthday lunch with 4 other ladies. Historically, I happened to be one of the 2 witnesses at the wedding of the birthday girl decades ago and today she is super rich. Her house is palatial and she told us someone just offered to buy it for 23 million dollars. She has given me jades, pearls, blue topaz which I appreciate but not wearing yet. After luch we landed at 'Coach handbag' store where she bought a bag (much more expensive than the US.)

    Ok, fast forward to yesterday and I met up with a friend who is under medication as she has some mental disorder. She lives in public housing, dresses appropriately, intelligent and fun to be with (sometimes normal people can be boring). She loves the Lord and has creative ideas.

    Dress wise I am mostly casual unless meeting up with clients/customers. Lost my Tag Heur in Taipei Airport 2 years ago and my daughter bought me a new Tag Heur from Watches of Switzerland but am wearing my Patek Philippe men's dress watch (imitation which I bought from China) and so happy with it. Suitwise, do not have branded but rcently made a lovely suit from 'Men's Tradition' (son's tailor, not cheap)

    Concerts, yes occasionally as the art scene is more vibrant now. My friend Rachel is a music teacher and she buys the tickets.

    Nothing can be compared to His presence and I know He gave us all good things to enjoy...

    Thanks Randy

  12. Programming, what we see in our mind's eye, and the conversations we have in our head reveal themselves so outwardly: speech, posture, drive, ease in laughter, social circles.

    You're D.E.S. article and for me, hanging out with dying family members really makes me think how life is mine to live, that I'm making decisions and changing outcomes by my actions. Life - this is it! Get dressed up for it, hold those shoulders back, and smile like a star. Hey, why not, right?

    I have an index card at my meditation table that lists my attainments and characteristic styles; I even list my top 20 values for this year. Anyway, reflecting upon this card gives me confidence, which in turn, makes me be more daring to try new challenges. So I plug, plug, plug away and sit down to reflect upon this card that I've seemingly neglected to do for 3 months (3 months really? yup).

  13. RG, I carried the same uncomfy feelings around rich folks for a while, until realizing the comfortable solution: see myself as a rich dude, too, and these people will step off of their pedestals, in my mind.

    Thanks for sharing!

    RB

  14. Hi Randy
    Great post. Personal development stuff really forces you to think about the subconscious and the programming that dictates so much of our lives without even realizing it. Your questions really make me think. I personally have no interest in joining a country club or attending events where I need to get dressed up. I think it is because I am a casual person, but maybe there are some subconscious beliefs there....makes you think. I will have to explore this more deeply. I really do not mind being around successful people, I may feel a little jealous because I am not in this moment where I aspire to be, but I know I will get there and being around these types of people are in my best interest. I know I can do what they can do if I get my mind right, which is something I work on every day.

  15. Great Post Randy.

    Thank you for asking.

    I've put a link in the website box.

    Would you please e-mail me how I can apply and receive legitimate grants for this type of training?

    The Practicality and Spirit of this type of training does not exist in my area.

    Please e-mail me legitimate information for grants to get funding.

    Through no fault of my own, several years ago, I was a victim of male co-worker workplace violence(nondomestic) by a psychotic 54 year old male co-worker while on the job in a retail store. Because of the trauma and the isolation, disrepect, and wickedness of the company that I worked for,I'm having to rebuild my life on so many levels. I was severely mistreated after the trauma that I still feel like a 3rd world woman instead of a 21st century American woman. Typical counseling and therapy sadly is not the Jedi Breakthrough that I want for what I went through because it doesn't fit into the box of domestic violence or sexual assault. Please click on the link to see what I request.

    Thank you.

      1. Yes,I understand that you are a Professional Networker, Professional Network Marketer, and Professional Speaker. And so what are the reputable ones? Is there not a grantwriter that you know directly or indirectly who you would refer?

  16. Some great questions Randy.

    I love getting dressed up for a black tie event and looking fabulous to go out, but only if I have something appropriate in my wardrobe. Sometimes I don't and on those occasions I feel uncomfortable about the event.

    I feel comfortable eating in a top restaurant with cutlery, crockery and glassware to match but I've never even been inside a country club.

    I absolutely love the ballet and grand symphony orchestras. Opera less so, but I have enjoyed some of them.

    Regarding being around people with money and influence, I feel more comfortable around them than people of lesser means. Mostly I think that this is because of the intelligent conversation available, but sometimes I wonder if this is also partly because of an attitude that I'm too good to spend time with the little people. I know that this doesn't serve me.

    Regarding the socioeconomic scale, I have been paying attention to the kinds of men that I am and have been attracted to. Typically these have been average income individuals with big aspirations but going nowhere. There's a different kind of guy on the scene at the moment who is in a much, much better position financially than any of the other guys I've ever dated. This is a fabulous sign. I'm also playing close attention to what I think about him and if these thoughts are coming from a lack and limitation place or not. It's a very interesting thing to observe and I'm curious to see how things play out.

    1. Hi Carmen!
      I am also curious about the men we attract...
      What if you do find love in a guy who is not ambitious and is content with a simple life?

      Can I be prosperous, rich and just accept the man I love?

      Interesting discussion...

      Thank you

      Monica.

      P.S. I think my real partner is more like I am, actually...

  17. I grew up very loved, and am so very lucky, because I've never experienced what intimidation meant. I've always been comfortable around all types of people, from all levels & walks of life, at all types of events - diversity rocks my world, and I love to indulge in new & varied experiences.

    But my preference now is for more prosperous surroundings - usually because they are just cleaner, my clothes & hair don't smell after of cigarette smoke, people are more polite & the conversations more uplifting.

    The energy of being around successful people is just more life-giving than unsuccessful ones, and this is really obvious to me now on a spiritual level.

    I am very grateful to be constantly growing. Xx

  18. Am comfortable around those with education. Not so around those with money. I do not have the proper knowledge of social graces. Have no evening gown and would be very uncomfortable in the situation where I needed one.

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  • 28 comments on “How You See Yourself”

    1. I am glad you brought this topic up. I just attended a black tie affair for the united negro college fund. I enjoy dressing up for formal affairs.

    2. I imagine right now, to not think about not being invited to go there or not buying a ticket to go there, yet - just thinking of why yould I feel a little uncomfortable? ...and I would feel a bit uncomfortable! Not totally, but a bit. No, no money issue. Why? I know I wouldn´t be able to share their conversations - can´t offer sophisticated topics or family topics - to talk about or throw-in good arguments and join a runnin gconversation. Would be the permanent listener, no tmuch fun - so, how could I start joining their chats when being totally new?

    3. As always an interesting post! I am now trying to remember if I see myself in my dreams at all or is everything I dream in first person shooter mode?

    4. Have never heard this topic discussed before. Wow, what an eye-opener! I am happy to say I am lookin' good in my dreams - always in my peak shape;) Whew, what a relief! Gonna start paying better attention to other things too. Thanks for the insight Randy!

    5. I have to watch myself in my next dream - do I have this extra 60 pounds or not?

      I feel very comfortable when successful people are around me - I can feel their energy infecting me.

    6. I adore black tie affairs. Cocktail parties, business gatherings, theater, benefits...I love them all. Any chance to schmooze.

      One of the best advice nuggets I ever got? When you're in a room of people and feel like you don't have much to add to the conversation? is an AWESOME time to practice LISTENING. And the more you listen, the more you learn; next time you can start your own conversation.

      Good night everyone!

    7. OOOH... education is a good one! I know it is slightly off of what you talked about, but it is a great point in respect to people's belief's in how they see themselves and where they 'belong'. I love hearing you express yourself and can feel the difference in your language than someone of lower prosperity mindset. You have inspired me to make a list of topics on a sheet of paper and try to reword them for a more prosperous way of saying whatever it is. Thank you again, sir.
      John

    8. Interesting questions Randy.. So here's my $.025 worth..

      No, I do not have a tuxedo, though I do own some designer sport jackets and a couple of outdated suits. Since I grew up in Entertainment, I prefer to wear designer jeans, a nice shirt, sports jacket and cool shoes as opposed to a suit. But once the money begins to flow (which it will), I am definitely planning on an entirely new wardrobe. I DO enjoy getting dressed. In fact a friend and I are going to see Kevin Spacey's performance of "Richard III" tonight in San Francisco. Can hardly wait!! I also love going to the SF Symphony and any 'high art' as well as a comedy club or anything in between.

      I'm VERY comfortable around people with money and embrace the opportunity to be around them. I find they're FAR more interesting than most and have great stories. I have recently made a friend who owns a vintage car business where the average car sells for around $250K and both he and is wife are wonderful. You can only imagine who is colleagues and friends are.. It's all about Ferrari and Bugatti etc.

      In the end, people are people. I LOVE being around all types of people and whether at a dive bar or '45 Bordeaux tasting, I'm at home. I find that my listening skills are superior which is why people I meet are quick to want to develop a friendship. Those that don't listen, rarely learn and may often be disregarded by someone new.. At least that's been my experience.

    9. Parents were educated high income earners. Dad belonged to THE club to be in in Toronto - the RCYC. Mom was a successful business woman after she was laid off. This is the environment I grew up in. Looking back they still had lack thinking and associated wanting more or looking for opportunities as greed. They bought a retirement cottage ( if they want to call it that ) in an area where there was tremendous opportunity for investment in real estate ( bare waterfront ) but really did not go for it. I love going to the Concert hall all dressed up. Sibelius is one of my favourites. Give me a nice forceful rendition of Finlandia and I am happy. I really enjoy a nice evening out on the town and am willing to pay for a good meal. I am comfortable around people with money and education ( Polite Society ). Actually, I am most comfortable with these kinds of people.

      1. Sibelius is one of the greats; his Symphonies are fantastic! From the lush and romantic Second to the granitic Fourth.

    10. I'm in the process of moving to Napa and I love going to wine tastings and events.. just cringe when you see the younger crowd all slobbed out at them.. even casual tastings you want to be wearing a nice pair of dockers and and a sport shirt.. then for a wine dinner I like to wear a tie and jacket... although again, it's not de rigeur.. only problem ruined a couple of nice silk ties with wine or sauce stains.. just so easy to do and once they get a stain, it's usually over...

    11. Oh, I do not feel inferior next to a king or superior next to a beggar, said a friend once and I share that statement.

      on the 24th. I was invited to a birthday lunch with 4 other ladies. Historically, I happened to be one of the 2 witnesses at the wedding of the birthday girl decades ago and today she is super rich. Her house is palatial and she told us someone just offered to buy it for 23 million dollars. She has given me jades, pearls, blue topaz which I appreciate but not wearing yet. After luch we landed at 'Coach handbag' store where she bought a bag (much more expensive than the US.)

      Ok, fast forward to yesterday and I met up with a friend who is under medication as she has some mental disorder. She lives in public housing, dresses appropriately, intelligent and fun to be with (sometimes normal people can be boring). She loves the Lord and has creative ideas.

      Dress wise I am mostly casual unless meeting up with clients/customers. Lost my Tag Heur in Taipei Airport 2 years ago and my daughter bought me a new Tag Heur from Watches of Switzerland but am wearing my Patek Philippe men's dress watch (imitation which I bought from China) and so happy with it. Suitwise, do not have branded but rcently made a lovely suit from 'Men's Tradition' (son's tailor, not cheap)

      Concerts, yes occasionally as the art scene is more vibrant now. My friend Rachel is a music teacher and she buys the tickets.

      Nothing can be compared to His presence and I know He gave us all good things to enjoy...

      Thanks Randy

    12. Programming, what we see in our mind's eye, and the conversations we have in our head reveal themselves so outwardly: speech, posture, drive, ease in laughter, social circles.

      You're D.E.S. article and for me, hanging out with dying family members really makes me think how life is mine to live, that I'm making decisions and changing outcomes by my actions. Life - this is it! Get dressed up for it, hold those shoulders back, and smile like a star. Hey, why not, right?

      I have an index card at my meditation table that lists my attainments and characteristic styles; I even list my top 20 values for this year. Anyway, reflecting upon this card gives me confidence, which in turn, makes me be more daring to try new challenges. So I plug, plug, plug away and sit down to reflect upon this card that I've seemingly neglected to do for 3 months (3 months really? yup).

    13. RG, I carried the same uncomfy feelings around rich folks for a while, until realizing the comfortable solution: see myself as a rich dude, too, and these people will step off of their pedestals, in my mind.

      Thanks for sharing!

      RB

    14. Hi Randy
      Great post. Personal development stuff really forces you to think about the subconscious and the programming that dictates so much of our lives without even realizing it. Your questions really make me think. I personally have no interest in joining a country club or attending events where I need to get dressed up. I think it is because I am a casual person, but maybe there are some subconscious beliefs there....makes you think. I will have to explore this more deeply. I really do not mind being around successful people, I may feel a little jealous because I am not in this moment where I aspire to be, but I know I will get there and being around these types of people are in my best interest. I know I can do what they can do if I get my mind right, which is something I work on every day.

    15. Great Post Randy.

      Thank you for asking.

      I've put a link in the website box.

      Would you please e-mail me how I can apply and receive legitimate grants for this type of training?

      The Practicality and Spirit of this type of training does not exist in my area.

      Please e-mail me legitimate information for grants to get funding.

      Through no fault of my own, several years ago, I was a victim of male co-worker workplace violence(nondomestic) by a psychotic 54 year old male co-worker while on the job in a retail store. Because of the trauma and the isolation, disrepect, and wickedness of the company that I worked for,I'm having to rebuild my life on so many levels. I was severely mistreated after the trauma that I still feel like a 3rd world woman instead of a 21st century American woman. Typical counseling and therapy sadly is not the Jedi Breakthrough that I want for what I went through because it doesn't fit into the box of domestic violence or sexual assault. Please click on the link to see what I request.

      Thank you.

        1. Yes,I understand that you are a Professional Networker, Professional Network Marketer, and Professional Speaker. And so what are the reputable ones? Is there not a grantwriter that you know directly or indirectly who you would refer?

    16. Some great questions Randy.

      I love getting dressed up for a black tie event and looking fabulous to go out, but only if I have something appropriate in my wardrobe. Sometimes I don't and on those occasions I feel uncomfortable about the event.

      I feel comfortable eating in a top restaurant with cutlery, crockery and glassware to match but I've never even been inside a country club.

      I absolutely love the ballet and grand symphony orchestras. Opera less so, but I have enjoyed some of them.

      Regarding being around people with money and influence, I feel more comfortable around them than people of lesser means. Mostly I think that this is because of the intelligent conversation available, but sometimes I wonder if this is also partly because of an attitude that I'm too good to spend time with the little people. I know that this doesn't serve me.

      Regarding the socioeconomic scale, I have been paying attention to the kinds of men that I am and have been attracted to. Typically these have been average income individuals with big aspirations but going nowhere. There's a different kind of guy on the scene at the moment who is in a much, much better position financially than any of the other guys I've ever dated. This is a fabulous sign. I'm also playing close attention to what I think about him and if these thoughts are coming from a lack and limitation place or not. It's a very interesting thing to observe and I'm curious to see how things play out.

      1. Hi Carmen!
        I am also curious about the men we attract...
        What if you do find love in a guy who is not ambitious and is content with a simple life?

        Can I be prosperous, rich and just accept the man I love?

        Interesting discussion...

        Thank you

        Monica.

        P.S. I think my real partner is more like I am, actually...

    17. I grew up very loved, and am so very lucky, because I've never experienced what intimidation meant. I've always been comfortable around all types of people, from all levels & walks of life, at all types of events - diversity rocks my world, and I love to indulge in new & varied experiences.

      But my preference now is for more prosperous surroundings - usually because they are just cleaner, my clothes & hair don't smell after of cigarette smoke, people are more polite & the conversations more uplifting.

      The energy of being around successful people is just more life-giving than unsuccessful ones, and this is really obvious to me now on a spiritual level.

      I am very grateful to be constantly growing. Xx

    18. Am comfortable around those with education. Not so around those with money. I do not have the proper knowledge of social graces. Have no evening gown and would be very uncomfortable in the situation where I needed one.

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