Sign InMy Account

Getting Comfortable in Your Own Skin

Posted By: Randy GageMay 27, 2019

If you want to learn humility, just try being a kid growing up with bad teeth.  Of course, the problem is, in addition to humility, you also probably get the burden of insecurity and low self-esteem.  Or at least that was the case with me…

Essentially, self-esteem is the reputation you build of yourself, for yourself.  Maybe I’m projecting and personalizing, but it just seems to me that it is so difficult to grow up feeling “normal,” and accepted in the world.  And you can make the argument that social media is making it worse today, because it makes abusive and bullying behavior more scalable.  Scrolling through all the beefcake boys and lingerie model wannabes on Instagram can be a pretty daunting experience for a teenager (or even adult) today.  It seems like the whole datasphere is conspiring to present a fictionalized, pretentious, and idealized version of what is normal today.

In my case, it started with getting ridiculed for having buck teeth.  By the time I was 12, I already had a big nose.  People were staring at the vitiligo on my hands by the time I was 16.  My hairline as receding before I was 25.  If there were Instagram when I was a kid, I’m quite sure I would have killed myself.  (Seriously.)

I desperately wanted to look like the cool, beautiful people.  But realized I was never going to look like Tom Cruise or Joe Montana.  By the time I was 35, I was starting to become wealthy and actually had the money to get a nose job, hair transplants, or other cosmetic surgery.  But I no longer had a desire to do any of that...

Because I started being happy being me.  (Although I did get my teeth fixed, which I recommend for anyone.)

You start to realize that Barack Obama has big ears and he made out pretty well, Dame Judi Dench looks beautiful even though she has wrinkles, and the Rock was voted the sexiest man alive even though he’s bald.  You recognize that women with husky voices, guys who look effeminate, “plus size” women, people with disabilities, or Peter Dinklage-size actors – and all sorts of other “not normal,” unconventional people can all end up being loved and appreciated, successful and celebrated, sexy and sought after. 

And it happens when they are comfortable in their own skin.  They simply celebrate their worth as a human being, and not try and conform to the superficial, artificial definition of beautiful.  You recognize that that stuff that really matters is kindness, love, and empathy.  And once you reach that breakthrough, your life begins in earnest.

Because when you start to be comfortable with who you are, you stop being uncomfortable with who you're not. 

So how are you doing on that?

- RG

5 comments on “Getting Comfortable in Your Own Skin”

  1. Oh, this post talks to my soul. When I was 16 or something, I was really concerned about my big red nose but now I simply don't give a damn about it as well as about surely not perfect teeth

  2. You look like a young Spock there, just add the pointy ears, highlight the eyebrows and you would be killing it at Comic Con! In the In my case it were the pimples, I remember one guy telling me that one could "climb my face on them", then it just got worse... Kids do have a hard time don't they? Today pimples are gone, just some scaring left but I don't give a damn anyway, it's just skin and it serves is purpose of shielding rest of the organs, scaring or not it works and I'm happy with it today.

  3. Great post RG. Funny how people think "normal" is the standard to start comparing things to. My younger brother has Down's Syndrome, never has a bad day, always smiles and takes what life throws at him in stride. He's also my hero. What is "normal" anyway? It doesn't exist!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

  • Generic selectors
    Exact matches only
    Search in title
    Search in content
    Post Type Selectors
  • Stay Connected

    Subscribe to Randy’s Blog via Email

  • Recent Posts

  • 5 comments on “Getting Comfortable in Your Own Skin”

    1. Oh, this post talks to my soul. When I was 16 or something, I was really concerned about my big red nose but now I simply don't give a damn about it as well as about surely not perfect teeth

    2. You look like a young Spock there, just add the pointy ears, highlight the eyebrows and you would be killing it at Comic Con! In the In my case it were the pimples, I remember one guy telling me that one could "climb my face on them", then it just got worse... Kids do have a hard time don't they? Today pimples are gone, just some scaring left but I don't give a damn anyway, it's just skin and it serves is purpose of shielding rest of the organs, scaring or not it works and I'm happy with it today.

    3. Great post RG. Funny how people think "normal" is the standard to start comparing things to. My younger brother has Down's Syndrome, never has a bad day, always smiles and takes what life throws at him in stride. He's also my hero. What is "normal" anyway? It doesn't exist!

    Leave a Reply

    Your email address will not be published.

    This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

    © 2020 Prosperity Factory, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Legal Information, Sitemap, Site by PrimeConcepts