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Forgiveness

Posted By: Randy GageMay 14, 2011

Forgiving someone is a conscious choice to let go of resentment, move past old drama, and go forward to happiness.  And it’s the perfect demonstration of the vacuum law of prosperity.

Because if you have vengeance in your heart, there’s no room for love.  You have to create a vacuum for the good to come in.

You don’t practice forgiveness for the other person as much as you do for yourself.  And speaking of yourself, who do you think the hardest person to forgive is?

I don’t know why so many people have so much difficulty forgiving themselves, but they do.  And I did too.  But I came to understand that no matter how bad I thought I was, I had a creator who had already forgiven me.  And I knew that I must forgive myself and move on, or I would continue to manifest a life of misery, limitation, and lack.

When someone comes to me, and his or her prosperity seems blocked, this is where I look first.  Once they forgive themselves, prosperity usually opens up to them.

There are three steps you can take now:

1)  Mentally forgive everyone you are out of harmony with.

2)  Mentally ask for forgiveness from the people you have wronged in the past, gossiped about, or are involved in lawsuits or other disharmony with.

3)  If you have accused yourself of failure or mistakes—forgive yourself and move on.

You up for that?

P.S. In case you never saw my video on the Forgiveness Law of prosperity, I’m inserting it here:

-RG

33 comments on “Forgiveness”

  1. thank you Randy. got your blog just in time to remind myself to forgive everyone including myself. Luv U. I am sorry, please forgive me. I thank you and I love U.

  2. Thank you so much Randy for this post today. I am going through a difficult situation and have been reminding myself frequently of these very principles. You posting it was like a divine message!

  3. Totally Ready and willing . Both my wife and I are in great love with ourselves because of the path you have started to show us ..

    Your books / Series ( AMAZING )

    Mike

  4. Thanks for the terrific info RG - I moved from the usa to Panama because i found it difficult for me to forgive usa's political elite.
    Democrats = Republicans = Political Elite = Bad News for YOU & Yours, but - starting right now - I am going to try to forgive and if at all possible forget.

    Thank you for all that you do RG!

  5. Thank's Randy! Love both article and video. Obviously everyone else is playing Empire Avenue LOL - have a nice evening 🙂

  6. Personally I believe that forgiving someone is a clear sign of an ego problem as it, most of the time, shows that you believe you are a better person then the other person. If you were in their shoes and experienced the same and had the same background, chances are you would have acted the same. Letting go however is something totally different.

  7. A few weeks ago I read somewhere that Forgiving people to quickly is harmful - because when you forgive you too soon, you often allow the behaviour to continue.

    It's ESSENTIAL to ensure you do not allow the toxic/negative behaviour to continue.

    That while you take good care of your inner world - to clear it up of poisonous hate - you ALSO take the externals steps to ensure that abuse/neglect/control/manipulation etc are dealt with.

    Forgiving someone without clearing it up - may perpetuate that behaviour. Forgiveness is the LAST step of the healing process, not the first. Otherwise you may stay in denial of the issue by masking them with happines - and then they continue. They have to be faced, rooted out, and new seeds of goodness planted.

    1. Yup, I absolutely agree Natalie. I used to be such a doormat about this. Until I understood the true meaning of what it means to be in contribution & that does not mean avoiding conflict just to maintain love and harmony. xoxo

  8. "You don’t practice forgiveness for the other person as much as you do for yourself."

    There's so much truth in that statement, Randy. Forgiving someone else can be just another way of trying to change them or control them or exhibit dominance or superiority over them.

    But if you truly forgive them in your own heart, you're saying that you forgive them without expecting them to change, and whether or not they know (or care) that you forgive them.

    And whether or not they change, you change.
    jim

  9. I have mentally forgiven someone, but if I am brutally honest with myself I know I`m still resentful, mainly towards myself for tolerating disrespectful behaviour for so long. How do I get over that Randy?

    I think we find it hard to forgive ourselves because its an attempt at punishing ourselves for wrong doings

    1. Hi Ari, what I did was to accept that I needed to have that experience to learn to appreciate myself more and not to let it repeat again. That if I didn't experience it & felt so much pain from it, I probably wouldn't have understood how much I need to love myself, where my personal boundaries are & what it means to love. Then I took time out for me for a couple of years - to explore, re-engage with myself, have fun, and most importantly heal. One day I woke up, and complete appreciation of how everything turn out just overwhelmed me. What I was resentful for, I now give thanks, for it was one of the biggest blessings that happened in my life. I wish you love & peace my friend!

      1. Thanks for that reply Jamie. I knew I needed that as a learning experience, to develop personal boundaries, have principles and to also develop the confidence to stand by them when necessary.
        However, I must say you have put it so beautifully and poetically "To learn to appreciate myself more." Thats such a wonderful way of looking at things.
        Thankyou so much Jamie!

  10. I am working on forgiving a sis-in-law for something she did about 5 years ago. I've been carrying this resentment around for too long! I've avoided family gatherings, just to avoid her, or managed to avoid conversations with her if we do find ourselves in the same room. What a lot of effort and how uncomfortable it makes me feel! It's time to Get Over It!

    Here's my process so far:

    First: I reacted to something she said - another person could have heard that, and reacted differently, therefore it wasn't she who hurt me, but ME who created this resentment-feeling. This is "taking responsibility for myself" (I think?) To blame her....is to give her the power over MY feelings.

    Second: Every time I think of the event, I re-member (put back together) that same old resentment feeling. Yuck! I'd like to remember it with emotional neutrality ... or perhaps even find the "seed of an equivalent or greater benefit" in it, as Nap. Hill suggests.

    Third: By forgiving myself (I was doing the best I could) I am now starting to feel indifferent about her & about "what she said".

    I don't know if that indifference is exactly "forgiving her" but it does make me feel more able to meet her socially without those yucky ugly feelings rising up in me.

    Don't imagine we'll ever be friends again, as we once were; that's fine. I have plenty of higher-vibe friends. What's that old saying, "friends are God's way of apologizing for our families"?

    Thanks for bringing up this topic, Randy (I attracted this!) as it has helped me to get better at the fine art of forgiving.

  11. I have to be truthful and tell you Randy that I pissed my pants, almost literally, watching the forgiveness video. Please forgive me. I don't mean to minimize the experience, however, the way you presented it could make a good skit on Sat. Night Live. On a more serious note, I am so well pleased that you are presenting this topic to your bloggers. My biggest challenge in life was self forgiveness. Until I understood what forgiveness was, I was not able to process it. You did a fabulous job of explaining it. There are things that are done to people and tragedies that are so life altering that most of us would rationally conclude, by forgiving, we were disrespecting or devaluing. The truth is, as you say, forgiveness is about us letting go of the pain that ultimately creates horrible extentions and misery in our own lives. I look at it as forward giving like the words say, forgive. You release it and give it to God. He does the judging, not us. By forgiving we release ourselves from, in my opinion, the devil, who loves to play with vulnerable victims. It is so obvious to me and I hope it is to you Randy, that God used your devastating situation for a purpose and I think you get an A plus in heaven for fullfilling the assignment. You sent out a video, to God knows how many people that showed an example of what we should all do given those circumstances. Be grateful and forgive. I can see why God bless' you with so many gifts. I think when the time comes, you will hear, Well done my good and faithful servent. You go Guy!!!!!!

  12. Randy,
    Great message today about forgiveness. You are right on the money about letting go of anger and resentment towards ourselves and others.

    Your videos are awesome too. Great personal lesson on forgiveness. You took the higher road by not suing the hospital.

    1. Hi Margarita!
      I stumbled over you write "hard to forget". Then I have a question, if it's hard to forget, is it then really forgiven?

  13. Love that one;God has already forgiven me.God is always unconditional love and if we want to be really creative and open up for the best in our life,we have to work on that one too.I noticed, as I worked with forgiveness,that when I worked with forgiving myself,I got healed in a very much larger part than when I forgotten others.Which to me shows,that everytime I could not forgive someone for something,I also blamed myself for being bad, and it became even worse.Than you.Hope you will write more about this!

  14. When I think of forgiveness I also think that the best predictor of a persons future behaviour is their past behaviour.

    To forgive somebody just because they are asking or hinting for it, without them having undergone some real change through adversity, is setting oneself up for another hit.

  15. Edit
    Forgiveness
    by Joye Lennox on Friday, August 13, 2010 at 8:52pm

    when one is in conflict with another, one is reacting to something within one's own self that has not been forgiven and integrated into the whole.

    forgiveness is the willingness to free yourself and others from the role of abuser in your life.

    when you forgive someone...you are not condoning their actions, but you are releasing yourself from perpetuating the energetic pattern that has caused you pain.

    In every situation where forgiveness is necessary, there is an abuser role and a victim role.you have chosen one or the other of these parts in order to learn a certain set of lessons about the polarities of the dynamic that is being played out.

    the only way that you can release yourself from the part that you have chosen is through forgiveness of yourself and the others involved.

    this simply means that you release them from having to play their role for you any longer.

    when you have released the other players from their parts...you will find that the play itself changes very rapidly.

    to enter the state of forgiveness...you need only affirm

    " I release you from playing this role for me" each time you find yourself resenting another.

    when this is said each time the circumstance or emotion arises in your mind, you will very quickly break the cycle and release the pattern from your life, enabling you to move forward on your path.

    just say...I release you...go in peace...

    as you say this...envision the cord that exists between you being cut, and both of you being free to move on.

    this releases the karmic ties between you and enables both of you to create new more valuable lessons for yourselves.

    remember...you are NOT condoning the actions...you are releasing both of you from perpetuating them further.

    I accept the healing power of forgiveness into my life.

      1. thanks Randy, I am so grateful I learned about the power of forgiveness, I want to share something I have gone through this week...if I had not forgiven...I know I would be feeling a whole lot different today, and so would my sons...

        This is a sad day.
        by Joye Lennox on Tuesday, May 10, 2011 at 2:07pm

        31 years ago, I met a man that would change my life. It was a blind date, but we hit it off as friends, laughed about the idea of a blind date, and we became fast friends. We were both going through bad breakups so the last thing either one of us wanted was to get involved with anyone. As we both had the same thoughts about relationships we could talk about stuff and do things as friends.

        As often happens...our friendship turned to love and we wound up living together and having a very "interesting" few years...

        5 years into our relationship we were blessed with our first son James.

        J.D. was sooo proud...he said all he ever wanted was a son. I gave him 3. James, Jon, and Jake were his pride and joy.

        As often happens, things turned bad and I had to leave him and take our sons away. He had become a violent alcoholic and I had to leave for our safety. That was almost 12 years ago.

        Over the past 12 years the boys and I have had our struggles ( I like to call them life lessons) but we have come through the other side, stronger and wiser.

        On Mothers Day J.D. had a massive heart attack...we were hoping he would pull through and maybe this would serve as a wake up call for him and he would change his ways...

        unfortunately that was not meant to be...J.D. always said ..."I'll do it my way"...and he did.

        I choose not to remember the bad times, but to reflect on the good...he gave me the greatest gifts in the world, My Sons...I love them with all my heart.

        Its funny all the emotions I am feeling...but I am going through this process the best way I know how...

        I forgave J.D. years ago, and I was able to talk to him a few months ago and put a lot of things to rest.

        Now my wish for you J.D. is that you may finally have peace.

        R.I.P. J.D.

    1. This is beautiful, so eloquent and full of clarity, I can feel the vibration of it. These words have helped me tremendously, as I am experiencing a situation based on a situation that happened years ago, one that I was partly responsible for and someone was hurt in the process. I thought I had forgiven myself and I wasn't expecting the person who was hurt to forgive me, and I am not sure she has.....So I have been on the receiving end of a lot of resentment, pettiness, anger, etc. and in the beginning, I took it because I felt it was justified. Fast forward a few years and I learned from that mistake a great deal and am now feeling angry and resentful at the way I am still being treated because of it and because it is a situation that also involves my son. I realize, ok, maybe she has or hasn't forgiven me, and I haven't really forgiven myself either. I made some changes in regards to the situation that I believe are in my son best interests and have made effort to shift the focus from this black cloud and all of the egotistical adult drama that keeps playing itself out. It still feels unresolved and reading your post Randy, backed up by Joye's words has given me some great insight and a path to walk on in order to release this and move on FOR GOOD.

      1. Nivia, thank you for the kind words.

        Life is a game of boomerangs.

        Our thoughts, deeds and words return to us sooner or later with astounding accuracy.

        Florence Scovel Shinn said that, and she was right.
        So before you think, do, or say anything -- imagine what it would be like to receive what you are sending.
        Then, go one step further. Decide ahead of time what you would like to receive...and then send it... Quite deliberately.

        That is, give to, or cause in the life of,another what you would like to now experience.

        Then...watch the magic.

  16. Thanks but I haven't found out smith interesting for me. God said " Forgive everyone and you'll be forgiven too". Read the Bible and you'll find a lot of answers)))) anyway, I admire you, Randy, ' cause you can write simply about difficult things and open smth new into old-fashioned stuff)))) Go ahead!!

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  • 33 comments on “Forgiveness”

    1. thank you Randy. got your blog just in time to remind myself to forgive everyone including myself. Luv U. I am sorry, please forgive me. I thank you and I love U.

    2. Thank you so much Randy for this post today. I am going through a difficult situation and have been reminding myself frequently of these very principles. You posting it was like a divine message!

    3. Totally Ready and willing . Both my wife and I are in great love with ourselves because of the path you have started to show us ..

      Your books / Series ( AMAZING )

      Mike

    4. Thanks for the terrific info RG - I moved from the usa to Panama because i found it difficult for me to forgive usa's political elite.
      Democrats = Republicans = Political Elite = Bad News for YOU & Yours, but - starting right now - I am going to try to forgive and if at all possible forget.

      Thank you for all that you do RG!

    5. Thank's Randy! Love both article and video. Obviously everyone else is playing Empire Avenue LOL - have a nice evening 🙂

    6. Personally I believe that forgiving someone is a clear sign of an ego problem as it, most of the time, shows that you believe you are a better person then the other person. If you were in their shoes and experienced the same and had the same background, chances are you would have acted the same. Letting go however is something totally different.

    7. A few weeks ago I read somewhere that Forgiving people to quickly is harmful - because when you forgive you too soon, you often allow the behaviour to continue.

      It's ESSENTIAL to ensure you do not allow the toxic/negative behaviour to continue.

      That while you take good care of your inner world - to clear it up of poisonous hate - you ALSO take the externals steps to ensure that abuse/neglect/control/manipulation etc are dealt with.

      Forgiving someone without clearing it up - may perpetuate that behaviour. Forgiveness is the LAST step of the healing process, not the first. Otherwise you may stay in denial of the issue by masking them with happines - and then they continue. They have to be faced, rooted out, and new seeds of goodness planted.

      1. Yup, I absolutely agree Natalie. I used to be such a doormat about this. Until I understood the true meaning of what it means to be in contribution & that does not mean avoiding conflict just to maintain love and harmony. xoxo

    8. "You don’t practice forgiveness for the other person as much as you do for yourself."

      There's so much truth in that statement, Randy. Forgiving someone else can be just another way of trying to change them or control them or exhibit dominance or superiority over them.

      But if you truly forgive them in your own heart, you're saying that you forgive them without expecting them to change, and whether or not they know (or care) that you forgive them.

      And whether or not they change, you change.
      jim

    9. I have mentally forgiven someone, but if I am brutally honest with myself I know I`m still resentful, mainly towards myself for tolerating disrespectful behaviour for so long. How do I get over that Randy?

      I think we find it hard to forgive ourselves because its an attempt at punishing ourselves for wrong doings

      1. Hi Ari, what I did was to accept that I needed to have that experience to learn to appreciate myself more and not to let it repeat again. That if I didn't experience it & felt so much pain from it, I probably wouldn't have understood how much I need to love myself, where my personal boundaries are & what it means to love. Then I took time out for me for a couple of years - to explore, re-engage with myself, have fun, and most importantly heal. One day I woke up, and complete appreciation of how everything turn out just overwhelmed me. What I was resentful for, I now give thanks, for it was one of the biggest blessings that happened in my life. I wish you love & peace my friend!

        1. Thanks for that reply Jamie. I knew I needed that as a learning experience, to develop personal boundaries, have principles and to also develop the confidence to stand by them when necessary.
          However, I must say you have put it so beautifully and poetically "To learn to appreciate myself more." Thats such a wonderful way of looking at things.
          Thankyou so much Jamie!

    10. I am working on forgiving a sis-in-law for something she did about 5 years ago. I've been carrying this resentment around for too long! I've avoided family gatherings, just to avoid her, or managed to avoid conversations with her if we do find ourselves in the same room. What a lot of effort and how uncomfortable it makes me feel! It's time to Get Over It!

      Here's my process so far:

      First: I reacted to something she said - another person could have heard that, and reacted differently, therefore it wasn't she who hurt me, but ME who created this resentment-feeling. This is "taking responsibility for myself" (I think?) To blame her....is to give her the power over MY feelings.

      Second: Every time I think of the event, I re-member (put back together) that same old resentment feeling. Yuck! I'd like to remember it with emotional neutrality ... or perhaps even find the "seed of an equivalent or greater benefit" in it, as Nap. Hill suggests.

      Third: By forgiving myself (I was doing the best I could) I am now starting to feel indifferent about her & about "what she said".

      I don't know if that indifference is exactly "forgiving her" but it does make me feel more able to meet her socially without those yucky ugly feelings rising up in me.

      Don't imagine we'll ever be friends again, as we once were; that's fine. I have plenty of higher-vibe friends. What's that old saying, "friends are God's way of apologizing for our families"?

      Thanks for bringing up this topic, Randy (I attracted this!) as it has helped me to get better at the fine art of forgiving.

    11. I have to be truthful and tell you Randy that I pissed my pants, almost literally, watching the forgiveness video. Please forgive me. I don't mean to minimize the experience, however, the way you presented it could make a good skit on Sat. Night Live. On a more serious note, I am so well pleased that you are presenting this topic to your bloggers. My biggest challenge in life was self forgiveness. Until I understood what forgiveness was, I was not able to process it. You did a fabulous job of explaining it. There are things that are done to people and tragedies that are so life altering that most of us would rationally conclude, by forgiving, we were disrespecting or devaluing. The truth is, as you say, forgiveness is about us letting go of the pain that ultimately creates horrible extentions and misery in our own lives. I look at it as forward giving like the words say, forgive. You release it and give it to God. He does the judging, not us. By forgiving we release ourselves from, in my opinion, the devil, who loves to play with vulnerable victims. It is so obvious to me and I hope it is to you Randy, that God used your devastating situation for a purpose and I think you get an A plus in heaven for fullfilling the assignment. You sent out a video, to God knows how many people that showed an example of what we should all do given those circumstances. Be grateful and forgive. I can see why God bless' you with so many gifts. I think when the time comes, you will hear, Well done my good and faithful servent. You go Guy!!!!!!

    12. Randy,
      Great message today about forgiveness. You are right on the money about letting go of anger and resentment towards ourselves and others.

      Your videos are awesome too. Great personal lesson on forgiveness. You took the higher road by not suing the hospital.

      1. Hi Margarita!
        I stumbled over you write "hard to forget". Then I have a question, if it's hard to forget, is it then really forgiven?

    13. Love that one;God has already forgiven me.God is always unconditional love and if we want to be really creative and open up for the best in our life,we have to work on that one too.I noticed, as I worked with forgiveness,that when I worked with forgiving myself,I got healed in a very much larger part than when I forgotten others.Which to me shows,that everytime I could not forgive someone for something,I also blamed myself for being bad, and it became even worse.Than you.Hope you will write more about this!

    14. When I think of forgiveness I also think that the best predictor of a persons future behaviour is their past behaviour.

      To forgive somebody just because they are asking or hinting for it, without them having undergone some real change through adversity, is setting oneself up for another hit.

    15. Edit
      Forgiveness
      by Joye Lennox on Friday, August 13, 2010 at 8:52pm

      when one is in conflict with another, one is reacting to something within one's own self that has not been forgiven and integrated into the whole.

      forgiveness is the willingness to free yourself and others from the role of abuser in your life.

      when you forgive someone...you are not condoning their actions, but you are releasing yourself from perpetuating the energetic pattern that has caused you pain.

      In every situation where forgiveness is necessary, there is an abuser role and a victim role.you have chosen one or the other of these parts in order to learn a certain set of lessons about the polarities of the dynamic that is being played out.

      the only way that you can release yourself from the part that you have chosen is through forgiveness of yourself and the others involved.

      this simply means that you release them from having to play their role for you any longer.

      when you have released the other players from their parts...you will find that the play itself changes very rapidly.

      to enter the state of forgiveness...you need only affirm

      " I release you from playing this role for me" each time you find yourself resenting another.

      when this is said each time the circumstance or emotion arises in your mind, you will very quickly break the cycle and release the pattern from your life, enabling you to move forward on your path.

      just say...I release you...go in peace...

      as you say this...envision the cord that exists between you being cut, and both of you being free to move on.

      this releases the karmic ties between you and enables both of you to create new more valuable lessons for yourselves.

      remember...you are NOT condoning the actions...you are releasing both of you from perpetuating them further.

      I accept the healing power of forgiveness into my life.

        1. thanks Randy, I am so grateful I learned about the power of forgiveness, I want to share something I have gone through this week...if I had not forgiven...I know I would be feeling a whole lot different today, and so would my sons...

          This is a sad day.
          by Joye Lennox on Tuesday, May 10, 2011 at 2:07pm

          31 years ago, I met a man that would change my life. It was a blind date, but we hit it off as friends, laughed about the idea of a blind date, and we became fast friends. We were both going through bad breakups so the last thing either one of us wanted was to get involved with anyone. As we both had the same thoughts about relationships we could talk about stuff and do things as friends.

          As often happens...our friendship turned to love and we wound up living together and having a very "interesting" few years...

          5 years into our relationship we were blessed with our first son James.

          J.D. was sooo proud...he said all he ever wanted was a son. I gave him 3. James, Jon, and Jake were his pride and joy.

          As often happens, things turned bad and I had to leave him and take our sons away. He had become a violent alcoholic and I had to leave for our safety. That was almost 12 years ago.

          Over the past 12 years the boys and I have had our struggles ( I like to call them life lessons) but we have come through the other side, stronger and wiser.

          On Mothers Day J.D. had a massive heart attack...we were hoping he would pull through and maybe this would serve as a wake up call for him and he would change his ways...

          unfortunately that was not meant to be...J.D. always said ..."I'll do it my way"...and he did.

          I choose not to remember the bad times, but to reflect on the good...he gave me the greatest gifts in the world, My Sons...I love them with all my heart.

          Its funny all the emotions I am feeling...but I am going through this process the best way I know how...

          I forgave J.D. years ago, and I was able to talk to him a few months ago and put a lot of things to rest.

          Now my wish for you J.D. is that you may finally have peace.

          R.I.P. J.D.

      1. This is beautiful, so eloquent and full of clarity, I can feel the vibration of it. These words have helped me tremendously, as I am experiencing a situation based on a situation that happened years ago, one that I was partly responsible for and someone was hurt in the process. I thought I had forgiven myself and I wasn't expecting the person who was hurt to forgive me, and I am not sure she has.....So I have been on the receiving end of a lot of resentment, pettiness, anger, etc. and in the beginning, I took it because I felt it was justified. Fast forward a few years and I learned from that mistake a great deal and am now feeling angry and resentful at the way I am still being treated because of it and because it is a situation that also involves my son. I realize, ok, maybe she has or hasn't forgiven me, and I haven't really forgiven myself either. I made some changes in regards to the situation that I believe are in my son best interests and have made effort to shift the focus from this black cloud and all of the egotistical adult drama that keeps playing itself out. It still feels unresolved and reading your post Randy, backed up by Joye's words has given me some great insight and a path to walk on in order to release this and move on FOR GOOD.

        1. Nivia, thank you for the kind words.

          Life is a game of boomerangs.

          Our thoughts, deeds and words return to us sooner or later with astounding accuracy.

          Florence Scovel Shinn said that, and she was right.
          So before you think, do, or say anything -- imagine what it would be like to receive what you are sending.
          Then, go one step further. Decide ahead of time what you would like to receive...and then send it... Quite deliberately.

          That is, give to, or cause in the life of,another what you would like to now experience.

          Then...watch the magic.

    16. Thanks but I haven't found out smith interesting for me. God said " Forgive everyone and you'll be forgiven too". Read the Bible and you'll find a lot of answers)))) anyway, I admire you, Randy, ' cause you can write simply about difficult things and open smth new into old-fashioned stuff)))) Go ahead!!

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