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Dying to Live or Living to Die

Posted By: Randy GageFebruary 7, 2009

I was cruising up I-95 in the Aston with the top down; Jonny Lang wailing through the speakers.

Why am I fighting to live;
If I'm just living to fight?
Why am I trying to see;
When there ain’t nothing in sight?
Why am I trying to give;
When no one gives me a try?
Why am I dying to live;
If I'm just living to die?

It’s one of his most haunting and poetic songs and one of my all-time favorites.  But on this day, it made me very melancholy.  Last weekend, my friend Carol killed her father, and then took her own life.   He had been ill for a long time and had wanted to die.  But that didn’t make it any less heart wrenching or shocking.

Obviously Carol was in great pain herself, and didn’t want to continue.  She had a back injury and other health challenges recently and couldn’t help her sister Gail much to care for their father.  I didn’t walk in her shoes, so can’t judge her or know what finally drove her to this extreme.  But I do know that this is a sad and tragic end to a life that once shone brightly.  And that wounds my heart and saddens my soul.  I will miss my friend and always wonder what might have been.

Sometimes I wish for the arrogance of the fundamentalists, with their smug certainty of their guaranteed salvation.  But alas, I can only hope that Carol and her father are in a better place, a kinder space.

I do know that death has saved them from more pain.  But while that gives those of us left behind some degree of solace, there is still that gnawing hunger of what might have been.

I never met my father, so Father’s Day was reserved for my Grandfather on my Mother’s side.  But he’s been gone for some years now.  So every June I walk by the Hallmark display, but I have no one to buy a card for.

My grandmother is gone now too, so I have just one card to send for Mother’s Day in May.  And I fear the day will come when I won’t have that either.  And as much as I fear that, I fear the opposite even worse.  Because no mother should ever have to bury her child.

The other day, my entire extended family met at Disney World.  There were so many of us we had to take five cars.  As is often the case in Florida, a summer shower came and drenched us.  So we all ran to the cars, to go back to the hotel.

Then I noticed that Grandma wasn’t in any of the cars.  So I sent everyone back and I waited alone for her.  Finally I saw her standing alone, under a cloud.  She had a rain poncho on and wanted to stay.   So I agreed to walk in the rain through Disney World, just her and I.

But then I woke up, and it was a cold winter day, and the raindrops were really teardrops.  What I wouldn’t give for the chance to walk in the rain with her one more time.

Today I am sad.  But if you ask me most days, I’ll tell you I’m the happiest person I know.  I love life, and I love my life.  Each and every day I celebrate the blessings I have.

But it wasn’t always that way…

I have a journal from more than 15 years ago.  No one else on the planet has ever seen it, or ever will.  But in it is a suicide note.

Written in the depth of despair, when life simply seemed too arduous, too difficult, and too painful to endure any longer.

Had I acted upon that impulse then, I would have missed falling in love in Paris, flying the Concorde, and winning a World Series.  I would have been cheated of some spectacular sunsets in Key West, winning the Viper shootout, and long nights talking with good friends until 4 am.  I would have never heard Dmitry Hvorostovsky, rode an elephant, or seen my nieces and nephews grow into young adults.

I would have missed many of the things that make a life worth living...

I can’t tell any of this to my friend Carol anymore, so I’m telling you.  If you are in pain, face seemingly insurmountable challenges, or wonder if things will ever change for you, all I can say is, please hang on, at least for another day.

You have gifts that no one else in the world can offer.  You have skills you don’t even know you possess, love you haven’t experienced yet, and hope that has your name upon it.

There are songs you have yet to sing, dances you are meant to dance, and stories that only you will be able to tell.

If you’re facing financial challenges, I promise you they can be solved.  Knowing what I now know about prosperity, I am shocked at how easy wealth can be manifested when your mind is right.  If this is an issue for you, please go to the library and borrow a copy of my book, Accept Your Abundance.

If you’re facing medical challenges or pain, know that science is advancing every day at an exponential rate.  There are bionic limbs, breakthroughs in stem cell research, and diseases being cured all the time.

If you suffer from severe depression, find a medical professional to help you.  It may even be something as simple as a chemical imbalance that can be corrected with acupuncture, a change in diet, or medication.

A trained counselor can help you through unresolved issues of abuse, abandonment, or trauma.  If money is an issue, there are mental health programs offered from the government, or seek help from a spiritual advisor.

If your heart is broken, it means you have the capacity to love and are loving!  There is someone special out there, waiting to meet you.

As I look back on my life now – I wouldn’t change one single thing.   I have loved and lost, failed in more businesses than I can count, faced almost certain death, fought drug and alcohol dependencies, and stared down many personal demons.  And all of these things made me stronger, gave me wisdom, and allowed me to love.  These challenges molded me, as yours are molding you.

There are joyous, wonderful experiences awaiting you, but you have to be here to receive them.  Yes, it is darkest before dawn, but the dawn will always break through.

Please.  If you’re still reading this far, you’re not ready to go yet.  Many of us will miss Carol.  And we don’t want to miss you.

So I'll keep fighting to live;
Till there’s no reason to fight.
And I'll keep trying to see;
Until the end is in sight.
You know I'm trying to give;
So come on give me a try.
You know I'm dying to live;
Until I'm ready to die.

And now, for the rest of you…

Most of you reading this are not contemplating suicide.  But what are you doing with the gift of life you have now?  When are you going to stop phoning it in, and start living your life out loud, in color and BIG?

Call someone today and tell them you love them.  Pay the toll for the car behind you.  Tip the waitress stupid money.  Stay up all night.  Send someone flowers.  Send yourself flowers.  Notice the stars.

Start that book, screenplay or opera you’ve been talking about for years.  Go to a scary movie and stop starring in one.  Take a chance.  Take a risk.

Make love with the lights on.  Make wild bed-breaking sex with the lights off.  Unplug the TV for a month.  Next time you go out to eat, order a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with a large chocolate milk.

Please.  Live life.  Live YOUR life.

And make it a life worth living.

- RG

Suicide prevention Lifeline https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

166 comments on “Dying to Live or Living to Die”

  1. GRACIAS Randy, every day I get to know you better, and only admire you more and more, if everyone were like you, always sharing, always teaching, always thinking of others, this world would be perfect! But you ARE making a change in this world! Never stop, the world needs you!
    Julie (Maria Carreon translator)
    Totally AGEL!!

  2. Randy,

    Thank you for posting this here too. I read your email right before going to bed last night, and I had to immediately forward it to some "key people" in my life - this could be the warmest, most honest and naked message you've given us who follow most of the things you share.

    I am reminded of another quote from some song lyrics by the band Pain Of Salvation (the song title is "Beyond The Pale" btw)

    "We will always be so much more human than we wish to be"

    Again - thank you, my friend.

    /Niclas

  3. Hey Randy, what a touching blog.
    As Shai Samuel said, wealth is far beyond just money... is about rejoice and enjoying life.. as pure, nice, hard, plane and rich as it self. Today you've put us, who have read this experience, with a delightful wealthy after taste.
    Bless and thank you for sharing this deep feeling of the bright side of a human being like you.

  4. Randy,

    Your original email made me pull my car over and gain my composure and left me emotionally spent for the rest of the night.

    As anyone who knows me will tell you, I absolutely hate chain/forwarded emails, but for the first time, I forwarded your message to a few close friends, and EVERYONE who read it thanked me.

    Thank you for the naked emotion, and the care you took in writing and posting this message.

    -David

  5. Hey Randy,

    We met at the IEI in Orlando. I was the only Aussie there - in one of our hot seats you said I was weird (which is accurate)

    This is not just the most moving piece I have seen from you (and I have been a subscriber since 2004, but is simply the most powerful e-newsletter I have ever received.

    I never leave comments on blogs but this one clearly deserves a comment...

    I have spent today with my 19 month old daughter Mischa. Reading your email upon waking this morning has certainly shed a beautiful light on the love filled day we have spent together.

    Thank you for so courageously shining white light out of a dark place.

    I hope your recovery from the death of your friends is quick and
    your happy memories of them are eternal.

    Warm Regards,

    John Blake
    Blue Rocket Sales Breakthrough Solutions
    Margaret River
    Western Australia

  6. Randy - Those were perhaps some of the most stirring and inspirational words I have ever read. It even stirred a middle age cynic like myself and calls me to change for the better even more as I now strive to do everyday, if not for myself but also to be a good and positive example to my growing (now11 month) old daughter.

    We first met almost 20 years ago and I have to say it has been an absolute pleasure to watch you grow and develop into the graceful, wise, self assured and yes caring person and leader you are today. More power to you. Hope to see you again one day soon

    Corey

  7. Thank you, Randy, for sharing this story.
    Sometimes our lives are fully of sadness moments, but we must to remember that after dark night always will come dawn.
    Katerina, Kyiv, Ukraine

  8. Thanks for your blog and "Rant" mail. I am a person who lives with a "dark side" if you will. Your words impacted me tremendously. You see, on the outside, it looks like I have a good life - the nice house (which I rent, not own) 2 nice cars, a high level job (yes, even with a good compensatin plan, I have a Just Over Broke), 3 beautiful kids, and 2 of the dumbest ,yet most lovable dogs you would ever want to meet. I, too, have overcome drug and alcohol problems -23 years ago I was literally (no I don't want to go on Oprah and tell the world) living in a 1976 Olds 98 - so to most who know me now and knew me then, they cannot believe the change that took place.

    But, I am very overweight, have major money issues including tax problems and have major relationship issues with my spouse. Are these things that can't be overcome? No. At least thats what I keep telling myself. But there is not a day that goes by where I am not thinking of ways to get away. Some days I just want to put a bag together and go "walk about" as Crocodile Dundee put it.

    Anyway, I don't want to babble on and on, I'm not really looking for sympathy, I just wanted to let you know that I was moved by your post. I am hopeful that I will get things figured out and move forward. Thanks again.

  9. Randy!
    I have no words to describe how your words touched me just the right time when I needed it most.
    From the bottom of my heart and with tears in my eyes - THANK YOU!

  10. Randy - What a powerful message and a true blessing for anyone who has an opportunity to read it. I will do my part to share it with a few people and encourage them to likewise pay it forward.

    In my short lifetime I have lost too many friends to suicide; a couple right after high school and within the past few years two of the wealthiest people I have known, so that demon is no respecter of persons. I can say nothing more that could possibly add to the impact of your message than to simply say thank you.

    I love your call to live BIG! Prosperity can be found in every simple action and interaction in life, we can experience it or provide it for another person. We must all embrace life and enjoy the journey toward whatever destination we desire, and to manifest the life of our dreams.

    You my friend are truly a giver and I appreciate you and your message hear. I am sorry for your loss and I hope that your friend Gail is comforted by her memories and inspired to live to honor her father’s legacy.

    Thank you for sharing the gift of knowledge.

    James
    Follow Me
    http://www.Twitter.com/AskJamesHolmes

  11. Randy,
    Once again your post is "spot on". Everyone thinks I am "successful" but don't see the financial pain I have been going through on the inside. I got hit with 2 judgements in the last month and sometimes don't know how I'll pay the bills in my business. There is more month than money. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. A thought of suicide had crossed my mind.

    But you know what? I agree with you, we must go through the pain in order to shape and mold us. I wouldn't be the person I am unless I went through the difficulties. Thanks for the message again. You don't know how many people needed to hear this - including me.

    Thank you.

  12. Randy

    I just thank God and the universe for the opportunity to have You in our World.

    The only word for you is GRATITUDE!!!!
    God bless you and remember, SMILE

    With love

    Santiago ZG

  13. Randy - What a powerful message and a true blessing for anyone who has an opportunity to read it. I will do my part to share it with a few people and encourage them to likewise pay it forward.

    In my short lifetime I have lost too many friends to suicide; a couple right after high school and within the past few years two of the wealthiest people I have known, so that demon is no respecter of persons. I can say nothing more that could possibly add to the impact of your message than to simply say thank you.

    I love your call to live BIG! Prosperity can be found in every simple action and interaction in life, we can experience it or provide it for another person. We must all embrace life and enjoy the journey toward whatever destination we desire, and to manifest the life of our dreams.

    You my friend are truly a giver and I appreciate you and your message hear. I am sorry for your loss and I hope that your friend Gail is comforted by her memories and inspired to live to honor her father’s legacy.

    Thank you for sharing the gift of knowledge.

    James
    Follow Me:
    twitter.com/AskJamesHolmes

  14. FAR AND AWAY my favorite of your posts Randy. I have a feeling that there are a great many people who are feeling like "This isn't going to get better" right now, and are looking to end that pain.

    Thanks for writing deeply.

  15. Yes, very honest and open-hearted message.
    I wish I could understand the real value of my life years ago as I do now.
    Thanks for your sharing!

  16. Thank you Randy for sharing a very different side of you... a side that know one sees...I been there and done that and at times find myself back there in the darkest of dark but your message hit hope and gave my hope...I am going to share this with a special person in my life that only sees the dark side of everything....Thank you for sharing....thank you it came at a time when I needed it...
    God bless

  17. I just know I've been pretty down before but suicide has never been an option for me. I just respect my life too much.

    The father of my children committed suicide, some how he just wasn't getting his life right anymore. It was tragic. Not so much for me, I kind of saw it coming but explaining it to my children was another story. They too only ever saw their father when they were tiny babes. I've often wondered how it must feel to never know your father. It must hurt I think.

    Randy thanks for this post. It revealed another side of you.

  18. This is the best post by anyone that I have ever read. EVER. Eloquently written, poignant, piercing.

    My sympathies for your loss. Thank you for your strength in turning your pain into a helpful message for others. Your words will be deeply felt by many.

    I have a feeling this will become one of those classic posts that people will refer back to over and over again for a very long time.

  19. Hey Randy:

    A very touching post on Carol...she must have really suffered.

    I know you like music with powerful lyrics. Here's one for your iPod that is appropriate to this blog...'Don't Give Up' by Peter Gabriel, featuring Kate Bush on vocals. It really sums up your message.

    Have an awesome weekend!

    Bill

  20. Merci pour cette page de vie si émouvante sincère et pourtant poétique ...

    Une impuissance transformée en un très beau cri d'amour !

    Bonnes heures,
    AnneLaure

  21. Randy, many thanks to share this beautiful story, you really inspire others to be a better person every single day..
    With Love,
    MoniK

  22. Randy, you are amazing .. my soulmate. Buddy, I was just talking with my girlfriend Andrea about exactly these topics .. life .. a deep 2 hour talk .. and then I had a glance at your blog - an intuitiv hunch calling me to the pc .. and here you are .. here am I .. and we touch base .. you move me, my friend, I wish you all the best .. and as you have written from your heart, so do I .. you are an inspiration .. I thank the world for you .. thanks for what you radiate .. thanks for being .. take care .. kindest regards, Mark

  23. Randy ..that was so moving and has shaken my core ..and my core beliefs after reading the abun dance pdf. Thank you thank you thank youi.

  24. I'm a true believer: The people you know make you who you are, and “God allows us to experience the low points of life in order to teach us lessons we could not learn in any other way. The way we learn those lessons is not to deny the feelings but to find the meanings underlying them."
    ”Life will teach you the lessons, it is up to you to learn them”
    I thank god for you. You are true gift

  25. Magnificent sharing, Randy. Took guts to do so. I have a few sayings to add: Live life fully. No one will live your life for you. And know you are the creator of your own life. Your are the limiter, the creator, the do-er. What shall you choose today? How will you choose to live?

    Ask: what is the purpose of your life? And are you fulfilling it?

    Now GO! Live! One day you won't have that option and you don't know when that will be. Don't put off living NOW. Randy, I love you for sharing this critical message. And I am sorry for your loss, too.
    Andrea

  26. Randy,

    Your message hit me & David hard ... as we had just seen Gail last weekend and was so taken by the joy in her heart and the huge hug and heartfelt chat we had David and I had with her. It really stayed with me throughout the weekend ... so you can imagine the shock upon reading your email and how sad this news is for us both. Those sisters have been such special friends and great inspiration to so many of us.

    Then upon returning home, Tuesday was a really tough day when we learned that my mother is facing a very critical health challenge now ... that really came out of no where ... a total shock ... I am still shaking from the news ... and so very thankful we are now close by and can face this together... she is our best friend ... greatest inspiration ... and our ROCK ... and we are fortunate to realize that and tell her every day ...

    It is so true ... to live each day to it's fullest and love like there is no tomorrow!

    Thanks my friend,
    Ann

  27. Hi Randy

    What makes your writing so great is that you share things that others won't. It touched my heart and I thank you.

    xx
    Carmen

  28. Dear Randy,

    Thank You ... so filled with fear I have been almost unable to breathe wishing for everything to end ... now so filled with love and hope my tears are running freely and cleansing my heart from anxiety ...

    With gratitude,
    Mette

  29. I only want you to know that I cried reading this blog... you know??? I really consider you like my friend, and I'm your friend! God bless you Randy

  30. Hey Randy,

    If other people in the transportation business (taking people from where they are to where they want to be) would share a piece of themselves they way you do... they might not be broke, sick and stupid.

    Ever since I've subscribed to your list, I don't believe I've ever not read the entire message once I started. There's some I've missed because I was rushed and knew when I opened your email I'd be hangin' with you for a bit but I never delete your writing. It's golden.

    Frank Kern talks about how he didn't get rich and fulfilled until he started being genuine in his marketing. When he did he started attracting the kind of customers he liked and this made doing business fun for him.

    Like you, Frank isn't uptight about saying fuck or shit or god dammit. This is a teeny but significant to me, part of what makes you guys stick out from all the other stifled, stale and holier than thou guru's out there.

    This freedom to express yourself without a muzzle lets your voice soar and I'm grateful I've found you.

    Thanks for the reminder to live balls to the wall Randy.

    Note Taking Nerd #2
    http://www.mynotetakingnerd.wordpress.com

  31. Thank you very much. I *needed* this. And there are always misterious ways and paths that lead me to the words I need to read ...or hear. Blessings to you.

  32. Terribly sorry for your losses Randy...I hope they both are in peace now.
    And thanks for the intense sharing.
    You are a true leader, genuine sincere real, not afraid to share bits of himself.
    A knight in shining armour, that's what you are.
    I feel blessed to have crossed your path.
    Take care.
    With love.
    Isil.

  33. Hey Randy,

    Hope the pain of losing a dear friend will subside soon and leave you with only good memories of Carol.

    See you at Go Diamond in Gold Coast soon.

    From KL,
    Jeff

  34. Great, Excellent Blog!! I was in the hospital twice for a week or longer in 2003 for depression. I felt hopeless, but now I have a pretty good job and I am developing skills to be successful in Network Marketing. I am glad I didn't take my life then, but at the time I was very close.

  35. WOW Randy, very touchy post.

    I have been contemplating creating a "Suicide City" program where people who want to commit suicide can “check-out” of their world and their misery, and can “check-in“ no questions asked (kind of hotel, or dorm style) get shelter and food, social and career help to set their life on a better track, help with a move to a new city, and psychological help.

    It’s not an easy task to create, there are many challenges with this idea (besides money) and there’s actually ways the program can support itself within a few years , if anyone is in a position and has the passion to help with this please email me LouLandau@Gmail.com.

    Randy, if you wish to consider donating some seed capital for this plan, I’ll fly to SoBe to discuss it in more detail with you.

    Thanks
    -Lou

  36. Mr. Gage,
    Thanks for your uplifting, insightful and encouraging "Rants" letters! I look forward to them all the time. I'm thankful to have you as a mentor in this business. I've purchased "The Virtue of Selfishness" today and have started reading it. I also downloaded, The Fountainhead and Atlas Shrugged but I think I'd rather have the books so I'll purchase them too! I did listen to the first (3) chapters of The Fountainhead and I could relate to it..! You always talk about Ayn Rand and suggest we read her books. I was wondering how many people ACTUALLY listen to what you say and do that! Ayn Rand was a facinating person! I wish I would have known about her before! Anyway times have been tough for me financially for years and I do get depressed but not enough to harm myself. Keep up the good work and thanks for giving back...!

    Lajon Webb

  37. Randy, thanks!
    I got to meet you recently at an event in Dallas, my next step is to get to know you.

    I am definitely doing so, through your posts. Keep them coming!

    Its great to see you are trying to give, and we are more than willing to give you a try.

    Have a fantastic day everybody!

    Federico

  38. God, I love you Randy.

    You took me on a journey that reflected back my own.

    You are right -- the sun does rise again after the darkness. 🙂

    Louli

  39. Hi there Randy,

    i can relate so much to your life experiences.
    That all formed you in the wonderful person you are today.
    You are an inspiration to me and so many others.
    God bless you.

  40. Thank you Randy for sharing this and remind us about life.
    About 12-13 years ago I was sitting in my psychotherapist's office, telling her I was ready to start a therapy IF she would not try to change me and change my mind about suicide. I was so afraid to live. She said ok. I really believed her, well I was a teenager. Actually we did quite a good job together. A few years later I was smiling to myself
    being so happy to be alive and 'afraid' of not making the best of my life : ) Sometimes I project myself in the future (It'll be nice when... I'll be so happy when... what if ...) or I postpone things (calling a good friend I've not heard in a while) 'coz 'it can be done tomorrow' and I've to remind myself that I'm living NOW and that there's no better 'time' than now to live and the people we care about they're here now, tomorrow who knows...
    Thanks again Randy!

  41. The problem now days is the food source we have, is not supplying enough minerals and nutrients for the brain and body to be healthy.

    We need a full compliment of minerals to have good cognitive health and our soils are depleted of the proper minerals to grow healthy food source and then the drug companies are using to many mind altering chemicals.
    We need to return to nature to restore our health and take sea solids to replenish the minerals to the farming soils.
    Thats what went through my mind when I read your touching post.
    Thanks Randy

  42. Wow Randy,
    What powerfully touching words. It takes a tremendous ammount of strength to share such personal details as you have in this piece. Your words are truly inspiring and that's not just MLM hype 😉
    Thank you for writing this and thank you for being a shining beacon in the world.
    Thank you

    Ronnie Cruz

  43. Hey there Randy,

    We had the pleasure of meeting in Austin TX... Great experience thx to Tim Berry & Julie Mirr.

    Tonight I was offering a link to retweetist.com 's "How to Retweet - A Beginner's Guide" and I'm SO glad I found your post on their site. I feel like yours was there just for me.

    Because I was trying to decide:
    To Go or Not To Go... that was the question.

    I recently started working with a wonderful coach Sharon Melnick and I was presented the opportunity to Dive Deeper w/ my coach AND additionally attend a T Robbins UPW event.

    As I struggled to decide would it be worth it? Not to mention - How do you define worth it? Be it in time, monetarily or in better personal or professional results.... I found the situation reframed and a sense of calm and peace.

    Your words...

    "I would have missed many of the things that make a life worth living… "

    popped of the page. Your words of hope spoke loud and clear through the clutter of a long day.

    Than you challenged us to seize life. Do the things we're putting off!

    In that moment I knew I had to go, to put forth the effort even if I couldn't measure the results. It is my time to take it to the next level and so I thank you for your open and honest sharing on such a deep level. Your poignant reminder that we must choose to make life worth living.

    You and your post are a gift of encouragement to many.

    This song goes out to you Randy!

    "Dying to Live by Jonny Lang"

    ---> Listen Here ---> ♫ http://blip.fm/~2n3q4

  44. Gageyroo...

    Ya know i love ya and can be one of your toughest critics as most true friends are to each other at times. This is the kind of post that will save someone's life my friend. Thank you for posting this. You are a good man.
    I am blessed to call you friend and thank you for your words.

    Later gator
    W

  45. Wow Randy, really never read long stuff on the internet.. but this was GREAT in it's own way. Thanks for being a friend...
    Guess i'll read more on some of your blogs from now on...
    rob

  46. Wow, my hairs are standing up - that was a pretty powerful read. I'd contacted you Randy about 6 weeks ago regarding the work I'm doing in promoting the goodwill of the MLM industry. For a brief moment you'd showed some interest in what I'm doing. I got very excited thinking I'd finally captured the attention of someone who could really help me to make a difference. Eventually, I never heard back from you - my excitement was for naught. Or was it? Sure, being able to share what I have to offer with the likes of Randy Gage would've been a break beyond description. But, I understand I'm on a journey which has begun far beyond my comprehension to realize when. And I will reach my destination and the Universe knows how I will get there. So I believe, I trust and I will go forward knowing full well that I'll arrive.

    Thanx for an incredible post - was a perfect read for a Friday!

  47. Hi Randy,

    This is your best as it is from the heart.
    I recently lost my father and it was so painful.
    I am going through very rough financial situation now,but i always have the faith that i will make it.Life is precious,our body is a temple.We are spritual beings in physical form.We are divine.
    Right message at the right time.Thanks for sharing.

    Thanks,
    Kannan Viswagandhi

  48. The last time I read this, I was moved. But not moved enough to pen down my sentiments. My skull is thicker than the body of your Aston!

    Less than 2 years ago, I lost both my brother and father in a short period of 7 months. I was sad and devastated. But not enough for me to stop, think, and re-evaluate my life. Now you know how thick I am.

    As I was re-reading your post because of your tweet, suddenly I woke up to my senses and realized that I'm not invincible. I can leave planet earth any time and shouldn't be living as if I have the whole eternity.

    Now that I've decided my life motto would be to "stretch others and help them soar", reading your post again gives me another dimension to live it!

    Your message is really God sent. Although it was sent more than 3 months ago, it's still timeless!

    Thanks Randy. And I'm glad I can call you, "Friend."

    I appreciate you,
    M.

  49. Dear Randy,
    Tears run from my eyes as a read your blog.
    I shared your grief over the loss of a friend.
    I'm a follower of your teachings, and I share them, talking about prosperity,the "Why you're dumb-sick-and broke-and how to be smart-healthy-and rich" thing.
    Your message really is heartbreaking, for it deep, down to the core of the heart. The life we have is so precious, we really have to hang on, at least for another day, just because joyous experiences awaits us, and we really have to be there to receive them. Bottom line: Live Live, Live Your Life the Fullest.
    We love you Randy, you're really one great person.

    Thanks. I appreciate you.
    Sigfredo

  50. В этом что-то есть. Большое спасибо за помощь в этом вопросе. Я не знал этого.
    Добавлю в закладки.

  51. Randy,

    I am one of the fundamentalists you spoke of and I do believe that I am assured of my "better place" when my time comes. I am not saying this to condemn or or argue or to try to "convert" you or any of your readers.

    I am replying purely to say that your I agree with your thouhts and enjoy the way that you crafted your words.

    I agree that everyone has a gift, skill, talent, and/or some wisdom that's meant to be shared for "some purpose" whether you believe it is divinely ordered or a mandate from the universe. The result is the same.

    Live another day, give all that you've got, leave something of value behind when it is your time.

    Thanks Randy!!

  52. I just lost the love of my life to brain cancer. We were about two years from semi-retiring at 55 after working two businesses and about 60-80 hours/week for 20 years. Now all our dreams are gone, our future is history and I am profoundly sad. We did everything together and now I am alone and empty and without dreams. Its hard to live with no dreams or no desire to have new ones without my best friend. I don't see how this can get better...I don't know how I can go on.

  53. Yes, I can admit I have been right on the edge of the cliff, toes hanging over the edge. The pain I never feared, it was the "what would I miss?" that selfishness in me. The wind never hit my back, so I never went forward. Where I found the strength to take a step backwards I will never know, but there was a little voice in me that told me not to do it. And here I am today.

    I would have never met my little brother, or had been there for my mother when she needed me most, there are a lot of things. Most of all I would have misssed out on me, I always told myself there was something better, something greater... that I just needed to wait and be patient.

    Now I have finally been able to face my demons and scare them away. There is so much to live for. If you fall down face first in the mud, you gotta get back up and just wipe it off and keep moving.

    I have only 1 person to thank.. If it were not for him, I would still be in the dark, but he helped pull me into the light and turned me down a much brghter path.

    Thank you Tommy!!!!

    Randy, you inspire me every day, you challenge my thoughts and help me to correct them. I would never had known your name if it were not for him. So thank you for being you, and doing what you do.

    Jamie

  54. Randy,
    You are a good person with a good heart. The world needs more people like you! I wish you continued success and thank you for inspiring others for achieving their own success!
    Maryanne

  55. One of my friends committed suicide 5 months ago. He was suffered from a heavy depression. We were all shocked because he was an outgoing person who made people laugh all the times. I wish I was there to help him overcome difficult days in his life, listen to him telling him how meaningful his life is or just to give him a hug. I wish he allowed just one of us know what happened to him. He was joyful outside but no one knew he was deeply hurt inside...

    If he had read this blog post, he might have saved his life...
    I can't tell him anymore. May you rest in peace, L.

    Those of you who are reading this post, please appreciate the biggest ever gift that God gives you: YOUR LIFE. Please, there are many people out there love you and want to help you. At least, I am here for you if there is no one else. Come to me anytime if you need a friend.

    Thanks Randy for a thoughtful post.

    Love you all,
    Thuy

  56. Randy - Very very touching post.
    There is another side of life.

    I found the lyrics of La mamma morta "("Andrea Chenier" Maddalena di Giordano atto 3°) and cutted out an excerpt of the text whitch I often come to think about when death comes up as an subject. Please read if you come this far and dont hesitate to comment when you are done . And if not , its cool.

    She would not leave me:
    She bartered her beauty to kee me alive.
    I bring misfortune even to those.
    who love me.
    In all this sorrow,
    My poor heart woke to love.
    In a voice of soft compassion he
    murmured: "Heard him who
    calls thee.Life itseid enfolds thee!
    In my arms,no harm can befall
    thee,
    I am here beside thee.
    Thy tears of despair,I will banist
    Tho guide thy faltering footsteps,
    I shall be near thee!
    Let joy fill thy being,
    For Love itseld am I!
    Though thy path be dark with
    terror,
    I shall bring solace.
    Take heart again!
    Raise your eyes and behold me;
    I come to thee from out the vault
    of heavem above,
    Making earth a paradise.
    The god of Love am I!
    The angel hovered near me
    And kissed me with the cold kiss
    of death.
    So take this worthless body,here
    before you.
    "This as you wish...for I am dead already"

  57. In ONE WORD: BEAUTIFUL! Randy, you're an all-in-one person! Tender, tough, sensitive, firm and so much more!
    I got goose-bumps all over my body reading this.
    I feel very sorry for you to loose your friend Carol!

    Take care and hope to meet you again soon.
    Respectful Regards
    Stella Webber
    The Netherlands

  58. I am not contemplating suicide Randy, but you don't know how much I needed to read this today... Thank you!

  59. Randy, you are amazing!

    Thank you for your wonderful & inspiring post.

    This has been by far one of your best and very touching posts.

    It really brought tears to my eyes. I am so Grateful for everything in my life. In fact, I'll go ahead and write what I am grateful for in my life, right now.

    Thank You for being YOU!

    Hugs,
    Kate

  60. It's almost 4:30 a.m. PST. I just read your new post. Randy, you're very special and are a very good person, inspirational, and sensitive in many good ways. My insight was correct. I think I know you very well, especially when you speak of your grandmother and you walking with her in the rain.. and the card for your mother. You are truly a wonderful person, and your post today touched my heart. Thank you for being you, being so honest and expressive about how you feel and how you wish for people and I like you very much. Two people from different churches also commited a suicide a year ago and it was very shocking to me, too. I prefer to die first to live right than to live to die. Thanks again, Randy, for being you an being inspirational. Hugs::: Saachi

  61. This is heartbreakingly beautiful. This is the first time I'm reading this post. How did you know to post it up on FB today. I needed to read it. It is very hard loving someone who does not want to live, when all you can see is their beauty and light. It's months & years late, but I am very sorry for your loss. We vote everyday whether we live or die; i was dead for many years until i loved someone who wanted to die. And then i voted to live. 🙁 How tragic is that? Some day i pray he votes differently, and maybe I would feel like I made a difference in his life. He definitely did in mine, I live & love like I'll die at the end of everyday. Love ya rocksta. xoxo

  62. Randy, I am reading your blog in a funeral parlour while waiting to pay my last respect to my friend, Beng, who passed on yesterday. He was only in his 30s before his passing. As I read your poem, I was thinking if only I could have shared your poem with him, perhaps it could have lessen his pain. . . .I'm sure Carol and Beng have now found peace they have been looking for....

  63. Randy, Odd that I read this during a grieving period. No accidents.

    Thank you. This is a must read for everyone.

  64. No accidents indeed....I just found this site and read this blog. What incredible timing. Two years after my husbands suicide I still struggle every day. I want to live and have been trying hard; now I have tools and help to create what I want. I can be the model I want to be for my children and hopefully help them learn that chosen death is not the model they should look to in difficult times.

  65. Hi Sir!
    i tried a lot to change my mental illness, i read books like, think & grow rich with peace of mind, think and grow rich, when bad things happen to good people,..i also took the lectures on mind powers of john keho. but still there is no result coming up, i need your help sir, i tried many times to commit suicide, but couldn’t because i believe somehow in my mind that maybe time would change,…but nothing is happening. i tried everything i could but i am lost somewhere in my mind,…
    Being my mentor, i urge u to keep me out of this mental confusion,..i will do whatever it takes,..i am just lookin’ for directions,…
    yours’ truly.

      1. Please check with the Amen Clinics; there are offices in So. CA, Washington state and Virginia/Washington, D.C. This clinic does SPECT brain imaging scans on patients and advises protocols which common mental health practitioners do not delve into. I was shocked to learn that psychiatrists are the only doctors who do not look at the organ they treat.

        Check out their websites:
        http://www.amenclnics.com
        http://www.brainplace.com

        What you are experiencing may be helped by seeing these visionary professionals, and your pain lessened.
        Best and love to you.

  66. oh my god! this the most overpowering thing that i ever read! it hit my very soul. im struck:overwhelmed. you wake me 2 to life. thank wont be enough 4dat. but stil thank you a lot.. love jj6t ju5

  67. Dear Randy,

    This read was very inspiring, thank you for the blogs that you post, i have contemplated suicide in the past, but after this passage and a few others i've learned to respect life and live everyday like its my last.

    God Bless

  68. Randy

    This post makes me cry...Thank you for being so open I now know more about you and not only today's success...

    I believe that if anyone now having to deal with bad time they should read this...

    It's not only how the story goes that kept me reading but it warm my heart...

    I very much admire you and your work Randy...xxx

  69. You brought tears to my eyes. . .

    I was reading you post looking for the pain in my heart and your solution for that, but it wasn't in there.

    I was looking for: " If your country is ruling by dictators, please don't let them dash your hope, be hopeful, you gonna see them down. They are not going to last for long. Just keep your hope."

    Yes, HOPE . That's what keeps people alive in crises, that's what my people have and make us to fight for our freedom.

    We live for the day that we could speak freely, live without fear, live with justice, could have the elected president not the selected one, could write our beliefs and sign it with our name without being worried about getting arrested and tortured to death.

    Yes, we live for that day. . .

    But sometimes I just wish I could go to sleep and never wake up again, I don't dare to kill myself so I have to just hold on to my hope... Maybe I should listen to you, “There are joyous, wonderful experiences awaiting you, but you have to be here to receive them. Yes, it is darkest before dawn, but the dawn will always break through.”

    To Free Iran, To the Dawn

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SNocyz1NRjA
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Yoj71GgCqc
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HG8QZEZd-w4

  70. My dear Randy and you will always be that for me. Today, as many years now, you came and touched the heart, put the smile back on face, gave some water to the heart by whispering that if it's broken it means it can l still Love. You wrote a blog but gave Life and Love to many. Today was the day, I came home in the morning and I knew my heart is broken. I had to accept it and leave the relationship behind. And I wrote: "I might do mistakes, fall down, left broken-hearted, can't help crying but I will always wipe away the tears and stand UP! For this is MY CHOICE: give up or stand UP!" and published it... for pain was still there. You say it's on of your sad days... That means your heart is still longing for Love and read u this comment or not - im sending it to you frm my heart in my thoughts. You are the greatest person I've met in my life and I pray you stay blessed forever. Thank you, my dear Randy!

  71. Dear Randy Gage.
    I'm very sorry for your loss, and my thoughts are with you. I believe in life is eternal, and I'm sure Carol and her father get another chance for a better life and opportunity, and remember your caring influence follow and help them, where ever they are now.
    Lene

  72. Yes, this was really great words.I have struggled for many years with a health not badest but enough to never feel 100% happy.Heaviness,half-depression,aggressive behaviour,quit everything as soon as any problem comes ,my husband left me,my family worked hard against me, my friends dissappeared and so on.I have tried very hard to keep on going and this last year my life started to change a bit but still was my physical health a problem.I had some symptoms, and when I started a new work recently, those symptoms made me have to stop it, a "once again" experience.Saved from a new depression I started to google on these symptoms and found one sort of cancer who had exactly that ones.Scared and anxious I read all about it and was desperatly thinking of some way to cure myself before I went to the doctor and got the diagnose(crazy but optimistic, I would say).So I found a way of massaging on different places under the feet and searched for the place where the organs for my cancer was and started to massage myself and then I started to touch other places under my feet and felt terrible pain.The last week I have massaged my feet once every hour and beleive it or not,I am a new person!Ten fifteen years of health problems have changed dramatically in one week!My only explanation is that mostly all the energy in many parts of my body was in lack and with this special massage it came back again.I no longer think I have cancer, I feel comfortable in myself and a totally new faith for the future has come to me.It is a miracle, and instead of see it as if I could have done this ten years ago and not wasted so long time of my life, I choose to see it as TODAY my new life begins and I love it.Soon all my problems will be cured and my life will be filled where it has been empty for so long.Love you Randy.YOU ARE GREAT.

  73. Randy,

    First, condolences to you for the loss of your friend.

    This is such a powerful post, that there are now tears behind my eyes.

    I hope also that your mother never has to experience her son preceding her in death, for her sake and for ours. I'm so grateful that you did not follow through on your wish to be out of your pain during the time you wrote your suicide note.

    Part of me is almost speechless at the sheer, keen emotion in this post and then your ability to articulate it. You're living life so full-on, and being so transparent. It's compassionate towards the human experience and also inspiring, to me, to lead a bigger, better more meaningful life.

    I wish that I would have known who you were two years ago at XBM. I would have been pleased to meet you. I still would and look forward to that time.

    "Thanks" seems like such an inadequate sentiment to give for this post. I'm going to thank you in action's terms, by paying it forward.

    Continue to delve into the depths of what you can be, Randy. The value of your posts are innumerable. You could easily "skate" from where you are now, but choose not to, for which I am grateful. You're a blessing to the world.

  74. Thanks Randy, once again...
    Thanks for your life lesson....I am right now in a down moment...I have a chance...to not give up....
    Thanks again for remembering me what I have...
    Mihaela

  75. I wrote this in 09.. Maybe it helps..

    Life is a tree
    Planted in fertile soil,
    With love and support sets its roots,
    Grows, blossoms, towers above.
    Life is a tree,
    With withered leaves and naked branches,
    Lacks root structure, care or want,
    Begs for air, love, support,
    Dying from the inside out,
    Doesn't understand why.
    Life is a tree,
    Bonded by the roots of other stronger trees,
    Revived by the enduring love of a forest
    That doesn't want to lose another tree.

    Copyright Mature Content
    Copyright © 2009

  76. You are by far the most inspirational person I have ever had the pleasure to know...... Although I've never met you, you "talk" to me daily with your blog posts and the ALWAYS make my life better and urge me to be a better person... Thank you so much for sharing your life with us. Always in my prayers for your continued success and inspiration.....

  77. I read this a while back-and today for some reason I was compelled to read this again.

    Thanks for reminding me, why I do the work i do..... the alternative is death-physical, emotional, spiritual death...

  78. If you havent seen the film Shawshank Redemption I highly recommend it -voted number one of all time by film buffs - it is amazing and so full of wonderful lessons - my favourite line in it is " Start living or start dying."

  79. Moving article, I lost my youngest brother to suicide. I remember helping out a friend in a beauty contest in 95, her sister had committed suicide a few years before and it was in the papers, I not understanding was very cold in my comment, "oh your sister committed suicide" Who knew six years later as a sibling I'd be experiencing something similar. Lets see I'm laid off, have this talent which I'm so hesitant to move forward with I have briefly entertained the thought, but I'd have missed some awesome new work I created, the birth of my nephew and his ability to say "I love you auntie"

  80. THANK YOU for enlightening us, RANDY GAGE!
    You must have the highest possible Emotional Intelligence EQ, because it is your sensitivity, passion & WINNER ATTITUDE that propels you to turn the most horrible things into LESSONS of PROSPERITY and LIFE!
    Like Julie comments at the beginning of the thread, GRACIAS & THANK YOU.. And, I agree, this CAN be a BETTER WORLD, if we have more people like you. So keep on TEACHING US! God bless you! & lots of LOVE!!

  81. Wow.
    This is deeply moving and I can completely relate.
    My dad is a heroin addict, only met him a few times. My mom is a religious zealot who prays for my gay child.

    I find the more capacity I have to feel authentically sad, the more capacity I have to feel everything--love, joy, happiness, fear, etc.

    Beautiful, so glad we have you to guide us more deeply to ourselves.
    Love, Shawne

  82. I promised myself I was going to get away from all the electronical devices while I am away but as much as taking time to reflect is so important, it's hard to be alone surrounded by so much passion by myself. I was so shocked when I read this post. I never shared what had happened to me when I asked you all to pray for me. It seems destined to share it now. My very dear friend committed suicide recently and I was so overwhelmed. The pain was indiscribable. The part that bothered me the most was that I didn't see it coming and I felt so responsible. She was my best friend. How could you not know? We knew eachother since 7th grade. There was not a thing that we didn't know about eachother. We shared every aspect of our lives and she truly was an angel, always jumping into any situation that called her. She was the homecoming queen in high school and I watched her beauty fade with divorce and disappointments in life that never seemed to me to belong to someone who was so caring and giving as she was. She always told me that God had a very special purpose for me and that all my experiences in life were strengthing me to handle the responsibilities of it. Her blonde hair and beautiful hazel eyes were something no one would ever forget seeing and the warmth of her soul could capture the evilist of us. I am so sorry Randy for your sadness and loss. Know that I also feel the void and wonder in these challenging times, what it's all about. I know one thing for sure and that is we are all brought together for a reason and I can see one very significant one now. I'll pray for you Randy as I know you will pray for me. It's times like these when I truly understand how important faith is. The memories remain. Reflecting now on how things could have been. I know it will all be worth it in the end. We can't reach for something that's already gone. I have to believe, it was worth it in the end.

  83. Thank you, thank you and thank you. I have enjoyed it so very much. You are creme de la creme! God bless you and keep you always.

  84. Thanks for the heart-felt post, Randy. I'm so sorry to hear about your friend Carol and her Dad - and the heaviness on your heart from this. The heaviness reflects the depth to which you let yourself Love. For some, they never get there - it's such a vulnerable place. For me, I've gotten stung recently, in holding that space in my heart for what I want in my life, and it just plain hurts a lot. Your words bring me some solace. Thank you so much for sharing.
    I do think Carol and her Dad are in a better place.
    May your heart be filled with comfort and Light.
    Blessings to you,
    Nancy

  85. Wow! Another profoundly beautiful message. And here's the thing...I KNOW you saved at least one life with this. Not mine, (although you've done that too) but someone. I just know it! WOW! xo

  86. Hey Randy, happy thanksgiving to you and your loved ones.

    Thanks you much for always sharing your great inspiration on how to reach our full potential and live a life of our own designed.

    Be blessed.

    FJ Ortega

  87. WOW Randy, i read this post like 5 times today and every time i read it i had goosebumps.
    Thanks for sharing so personal thoughts. It makes me realize how fragile life really is and that you have to leave your life every minute and not just staring there.
    I am thankful today to be able to have you in my life as a couch, leader, inspiration.
    Thank you God Bless you

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  92. Thank you for writing from the heart with these touching words. I love and respect your transparency and honesty. I loved hearing you at the Mastermind in Houston and was sorry not to get the chance to talk with you - next year I hope.

    I find you a great inspiration.
    Charlie Holles

  93. Randy,
    I could not open the song... What is the name of it?

    Thank you for all of this... you have done...

    Take care,
    Marketa

  94. Awesome. I clicked on the link to the Accept Your Abundance ebook and it takes me to the main page of your store. Can you tell me where the book is? Thanks Randy.

  95. Oh how I love me some Jonny Lang! Always knew you were a man of exquisite taste!

    Thanks for this blog today Randy. As always, you're changing lives with your words.

    You are a gift.

  96. Randy first off let me say I am sorry for your loss of Carol. On my 40th birthday my friend Don took his life and I being the last one he spoke with got the call from the Coroner.
    I love your blog. I love your consciousness.
    Seven months ago I a 46 year old women was laying in my bed at an Alzheimer's care home as the family thought it would be better than a psych facility after a nervous breakdown left me paralyzed in fear of life and living again. To make a long story short I have been Suicidal since my recovery on and off for years. In the Spring of last year in walks a nurse who treated me like a person not a diagnosis. Slowly I realized I was still in there somewhere and picked up writing again. I got the courage to make a change which was a disaster however as to the point of your post I got to choose again because I did not give in to the darker impulses.
    Fast forward to today I am living in my own Apartment out of care and working on developing a blog. All this from me who made attempts, researched assisted suicide all day long while laying in hopes I would die.
    An old priest friend of mine was known for saying "Never Give up." Your post communicates that eloquently and though I am sorry for your pain and loss with Carol I think your post might save a life this holiday. I would not be surprised.
    Keep being you the world needs you.

  97. Just came here by chance following a friend's strange link from Tweeter... well, as a matter of fact things aren't going well.
    But let's say what I read helped a bit. Let's see.

  98. Been sick for a week now. Not a great pre-Christmas start. Wasn't wanting to read anything today but this post is here, there, everywhere. Wow. So glad I read it. This is not a year I will be sad to see go but so much, in spite of that, so very precious and amazing. And at some point this year I had to make myself read the prosperity blog. Who's this guy? What trouble has he known? He's leaning against some fancy car I have NO CLUE of. Does he realize how important it is to grow, to change, not just wish for big cars? He has no idea... I read you anyway and I haven't regretted it. You have an idea or two. 😉 I've dropped my preconceived ideas about the man leaning against the car and you've touched my life. Thanks for sharing from the real stuff here. It's where the heart is and that's where we all need to stay. Keep on keepin' on... (and strength to you during tough times...)

  99. Thank you so much for this post, for sharing your heart with the rest of us!

    It is very much in the same vein of an article that I wrote regarding focusing on Love and Appreciation to get us through changes, grieving and differences.

    http://jabsloveletters.com/archives/1028

    My favorite part of your post:

    "Call someone today and tell them you love them." ** We all should be willing to do that a little bit more!

  100. Just tell you how awesome your life experiences are, Randy. Every time I see one of my close friends getting stressed, worried, and depressed, I tell him about your story so that he might be able to overcome his problems, too. Reading what you had gone through, I think what he is going through right now is absolutely nothing, really. Thanks for what you do to help us learn to overcome our obstacles in life. 

  101. Just tell you how awesome your life experience is, Randy. Every time I see one of my friends getting stressed out and worried, I tell him your story so that he might be able to stop worrying and begin to look at things differently. Compared with what you had gone through, his long-lasting concern is minor, and it's the matter of how we see things, I think. I'm sure you agree that worry won't do any good.. Thanks for what you do to help us to develop positive thinking!

  102. Just tell you how awesome your life experience is, Randy. Every time I see one of my friends getting stressed out and worried, I tell him your story so that he might be able to stop worrying and begin to look at things differently. Compared with what you had gone through, his long-lasting concern is minor, and it's the matter of how we see things, I think. I'm sure you agree that worry won't do any good.. as I do care about my friend. Thanks, Randy, for what you do to help us to develop positive thinking.

  103. Just tell you how awesome your life experience is, Randy. Every time I see one of my friends getting stressed out and worried, I tell him your story so that he might be able to stop worrying and begin to look at things differently. Compared with what you had gone through, his long-lasting concern is minor, and it's the matter of how we see things, I think. I'm sure you agree that worry won't do any good.. as I do care about my friend. Thanks, Randy, for what you do to help us to develop positive thinking.

  104. Randy, I am sure you don't remember me, but I told you way back how awesome your life story is. I have this friend who used to get stressed out and worried so much but just want to let you know he is okay now because of your provrams. We appreciate what you do. Keep up the good work! Big hugs from us. We love you.

  105. Now... You made me CRY............ + APPRECIATE YOU MORE.......... THANKS FOR BEING A LIGHT 2 THE WORLD (tears rolling down now)

    1. When I was working out, I thought of this again... . Thank you for sharing... What could be more inspirational? + THE IMPACT you have...LOVE+LOVE YOU!

  106. If only you could bottle the thing that made you crumple up that suicide note and fight to live! So many people could turn their lives around. Would love to be able to find the switch that would make my friend see that life can change before she ends up like Carol. I am also really frustrated at not being able to understand why she never sees the light at the end of the tunnel, no matter how small the issue is.

  107. If only you could bottle the thing that made you crumple up that suicide note and fight to live! So many people could turn their lives around. Would love to be able to find the switch that would make my friend see that life can change before she ends up like Carol. I am also really frustrated at not being able to understand why she never sees the light at the end of the tunnel, no matter how small the issue is.

  108. Socrates: "The unexamined life is not worth living" - answers your question.  Human has the capacity to experience and to question life, therefore there is a potential for an answer.  Path, search - becomes an answer for some; life for the sake of living or living for the sake of life...

  109. Randy ... great post, shared it through all the buttons.
    But, I wanted to bring up one thing ... the link to “Accept Your Abundance” doesn't end up anywhere with a free download.  I hate to be "nickle and diming" the $7, but you're recommending that for folks "facing financial challenges", and I've not had a regular paycheck in FIVE YEARS and am in a position where $7 represents three bus fares to networking events, etc. and does not go our of my pocket lightly.  
    Is there a link to a page where that d/l is free, or a "coupon code" (I see that's an option on the order page) for it?
    thanks,
     - Brendan Tripp

  110. Randy, that was such a beautiful, poignant post. It's amazing how the tragic moments in our lives tend to make us put things in their proper perspective.  Thank you so much for sharing this and for just being you.   Keep up the tremendous work!

  111. I can only say I had many tears sheding while reading this.. I think there are so may people out there in the world today,  that would think differently after reading this...hopefully,  I say...The reason I,  came upon this is, I too suffer from depression , but I am too worried what my family would go through , If I were to take the easy way out...Again,  I always think of others before I do myself.....There were so may times,  I thought of leaving this world behind but,  somehow I got through it...I honestly, have been through so much,  that I am astonished by my will to really live, even today,   I got through it...I suffer from medical conditions on a daily basis...the pain is unbearable at times..I have actually died and they,  the drs brought be back and I was so discouraged...I was angry with God...But the point of me coming upon this is,  I was going to write that book ...The book that you were talking about....I was going to title it dying to live...So, I just got on the net and punched it in to make sure no one had written a book about this.....To my surprise there is...I can always come up with another title.  The fact of the matter is I was suppose to read this...It gave me HOPE....I love it!!!!!!!!  Thanks Sharon Denise Poss

  112. It is so moving to know that there are still people out there that actually do care and are willing to lend an ear to listen and knowledge of where to go next,  to get help , to those who are suffering...we all know that soon enough,  we are going to die..When are time is up...To give someone hope is an amazing thing....sharing each ones story,  is what  I call , a wake up call,  to those,  who are needing,  to really be loved....

  113. Sorry to hear of your loss!

    Thanks for this post.
    Light always breaks through the darkness. And when life goes haywire I have learned that it's The Divine forcing/pushing us to move on from what we are doing wrong or aren't doing quite right.

    One year ago I did not know I was heading for one of the darkest periods of my life. It was such an odd time and then my darling passed and a car accident, just after barely recovering from a nasty betrayal, etc.
    .....
    I am still here.
    .....
    With now a new person in my life which makes for some possibility for new happiness.

    For my future gains, I want to focus on my business more!! My company is great, and the people superb! I think in many ways the people and company were the one thing that kept me still here!

    Thanks Randy, for sharing, and helping others!

    Monika

  114. I love YOU~ thank you for this authentic, tear-rendering post. I'm sorry for the loss of your friend Carol. May her memory always be a blessing. Life IS a gift and worth living. You are a great mentor!

  115. Hello my friend. I'm sorry for your loss. I feel your heart; we all do. I speak courage into it; it's my honor to do so. I felt a "loss of self" in an indescribable way in late august. I prayed to God and from God for a heart attack, the depth of the pain was fathomless.

    The human experience is prosperous; the original blessing. We empathize; we care.. our experiences inspire our genius.. thankyou for your demonstrations of genius.. I celebrate the memories you have of and from your friend.

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  • 166 comments on “Dying to Live or Living to Die”

    1. GRACIAS Randy, every day I get to know you better, and only admire you more and more, if everyone were like you, always sharing, always teaching, always thinking of others, this world would be perfect! But you ARE making a change in this world! Never stop, the world needs you!
      Julie (Maria Carreon translator)
      Totally AGEL!!

    2. Randy,

      Thank you for posting this here too. I read your email right before going to bed last night, and I had to immediately forward it to some "key people" in my life - this could be the warmest, most honest and naked message you've given us who follow most of the things you share.

      I am reminded of another quote from some song lyrics by the band Pain Of Salvation (the song title is "Beyond The Pale" btw)

      "We will always be so much more human than we wish to be"

      Again - thank you, my friend.

      /Niclas

    3. Hey Randy, what a touching blog.
      As Shai Samuel said, wealth is far beyond just money... is about rejoice and enjoying life.. as pure, nice, hard, plane and rich as it self. Today you've put us, who have read this experience, with a delightful wealthy after taste.
      Bless and thank you for sharing this deep feeling of the bright side of a human being like you.

    4. Randy,

      Your original email made me pull my car over and gain my composure and left me emotionally spent for the rest of the night.

      As anyone who knows me will tell you, I absolutely hate chain/forwarded emails, but for the first time, I forwarded your message to a few close friends, and EVERYONE who read it thanked me.

      Thank you for the naked emotion, and the care you took in writing and posting this message.

      -David

    5. Hey Randy,

      We met at the IEI in Orlando. I was the only Aussie there - in one of our hot seats you said I was weird (which is accurate)

      This is not just the most moving piece I have seen from you (and I have been a subscriber since 2004, but is simply the most powerful e-newsletter I have ever received.

      I never leave comments on blogs but this one clearly deserves a comment...

      I have spent today with my 19 month old daughter Mischa. Reading your email upon waking this morning has certainly shed a beautiful light on the love filled day we have spent together.

      Thank you for so courageously shining white light out of a dark place.

      I hope your recovery from the death of your friends is quick and
      your happy memories of them are eternal.

      Warm Regards,

      John Blake
      Blue Rocket Sales Breakthrough Solutions
      Margaret River
      Western Australia

    6. Randy - Those were perhaps some of the most stirring and inspirational words I have ever read. It even stirred a middle age cynic like myself and calls me to change for the better even more as I now strive to do everyday, if not for myself but also to be a good and positive example to my growing (now11 month) old daughter.

      We first met almost 20 years ago and I have to say it has been an absolute pleasure to watch you grow and develop into the graceful, wise, self assured and yes caring person and leader you are today. More power to you. Hope to see you again one day soon

      Corey

    7. Thank you, Randy, for sharing this story.
      Sometimes our lives are fully of sadness moments, but we must to remember that after dark night always will come dawn.
      Katerina, Kyiv, Ukraine

    8. Thanks for your blog and "Rant" mail. I am a person who lives with a "dark side" if you will. Your words impacted me tremendously. You see, on the outside, it looks like I have a good life - the nice house (which I rent, not own) 2 nice cars, a high level job (yes, even with a good compensatin plan, I have a Just Over Broke), 3 beautiful kids, and 2 of the dumbest ,yet most lovable dogs you would ever want to meet. I, too, have overcome drug and alcohol problems -23 years ago I was literally (no I don't want to go on Oprah and tell the world) living in a 1976 Olds 98 - so to most who know me now and knew me then, they cannot believe the change that took place.

      But, I am very overweight, have major money issues including tax problems and have major relationship issues with my spouse. Are these things that can't be overcome? No. At least thats what I keep telling myself. But there is not a day that goes by where I am not thinking of ways to get away. Some days I just want to put a bag together and go "walk about" as Crocodile Dundee put it.

      Anyway, I don't want to babble on and on, I'm not really looking for sympathy, I just wanted to let you know that I was moved by your post. I am hopeful that I will get things figured out and move forward. Thanks again.

    9. Randy!
      I have no words to describe how your words touched me just the right time when I needed it most.
      From the bottom of my heart and with tears in my eyes - THANK YOU!

    10. Randy - What a powerful message and a true blessing for anyone who has an opportunity to read it. I will do my part to share it with a few people and encourage them to likewise pay it forward.

      In my short lifetime I have lost too many friends to suicide; a couple right after high school and within the past few years two of the wealthiest people I have known, so that demon is no respecter of persons. I can say nothing more that could possibly add to the impact of your message than to simply say thank you.

      I love your call to live BIG! Prosperity can be found in every simple action and interaction in life, we can experience it or provide it for another person. We must all embrace life and enjoy the journey toward whatever destination we desire, and to manifest the life of our dreams.

      You my friend are truly a giver and I appreciate you and your message hear. I am sorry for your loss and I hope that your friend Gail is comforted by her memories and inspired to live to honor her father’s legacy.

      Thank you for sharing the gift of knowledge.

      James
      Follow Me
      http://www.Twitter.com/AskJamesHolmes

    11. Randy,
      Once again your post is "spot on". Everyone thinks I am "successful" but don't see the financial pain I have been going through on the inside. I got hit with 2 judgements in the last month and sometimes don't know how I'll pay the bills in my business. There is more month than money. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. A thought of suicide had crossed my mind.

      But you know what? I agree with you, we must go through the pain in order to shape and mold us. I wouldn't be the person I am unless I went through the difficulties. Thanks for the message again. You don't know how many people needed to hear this - including me.

      Thank you.

    12. Randy

      I just thank God and the universe for the opportunity to have You in our World.

      The only word for you is GRATITUDE!!!!
      God bless you and remember, SMILE

      With love

      Santiago ZG

    13. Randy - What a powerful message and a true blessing for anyone who has an opportunity to read it. I will do my part to share it with a few people and encourage them to likewise pay it forward.

      In my short lifetime I have lost too many friends to suicide; a couple right after high school and within the past few years two of the wealthiest people I have known, so that demon is no respecter of persons. I can say nothing more that could possibly add to the impact of your message than to simply say thank you.

      I love your call to live BIG! Prosperity can be found in every simple action and interaction in life, we can experience it or provide it for another person. We must all embrace life and enjoy the journey toward whatever destination we desire, and to manifest the life of our dreams.

      You my friend are truly a giver and I appreciate you and your message hear. I am sorry for your loss and I hope that your friend Gail is comforted by her memories and inspired to live to honor her father’s legacy.

      Thank you for sharing the gift of knowledge.

      James
      Follow Me:
      twitter.com/AskJamesHolmes

    14. FAR AND AWAY my favorite of your posts Randy. I have a feeling that there are a great many people who are feeling like "This isn't going to get better" right now, and are looking to end that pain.

      Thanks for writing deeply.

    15. Yes, very honest and open-hearted message.
      I wish I could understand the real value of my life years ago as I do now.
      Thanks for your sharing!

    16. Thank you Randy for sharing a very different side of you... a side that know one sees...I been there and done that and at times find myself back there in the darkest of dark but your message hit hope and gave my hope...I am going to share this with a special person in my life that only sees the dark side of everything....Thank you for sharing....thank you it came at a time when I needed it...
      God bless

    17. I just know I've been pretty down before but suicide has never been an option for me. I just respect my life too much.

      The father of my children committed suicide, some how he just wasn't getting his life right anymore. It was tragic. Not so much for me, I kind of saw it coming but explaining it to my children was another story. They too only ever saw their father when they were tiny babes. I've often wondered how it must feel to never know your father. It must hurt I think.

      Randy thanks for this post. It revealed another side of you.

    18. This is the best post by anyone that I have ever read. EVER. Eloquently written, poignant, piercing.

      My sympathies for your loss. Thank you for your strength in turning your pain into a helpful message for others. Your words will be deeply felt by many.

      I have a feeling this will become one of those classic posts that people will refer back to over and over again for a very long time.

    19. Hey Randy:

      A very touching post on Carol...she must have really suffered.

      I know you like music with powerful lyrics. Here's one for your iPod that is appropriate to this blog...'Don't Give Up' by Peter Gabriel, featuring Kate Bush on vocals. It really sums up your message.

      Have an awesome weekend!

      Bill

    20. Merci pour cette page de vie si émouvante sincère et pourtant poétique ...

      Une impuissance transformée en un très beau cri d'amour !

      Bonnes heures,
      AnneLaure

    21. Randy, many thanks to share this beautiful story, you really inspire others to be a better person every single day..
      With Love,
      MoniK

    22. Randy, you are amazing .. my soulmate. Buddy, I was just talking with my girlfriend Andrea about exactly these topics .. life .. a deep 2 hour talk .. and then I had a glance at your blog - an intuitiv hunch calling me to the pc .. and here you are .. here am I .. and we touch base .. you move me, my friend, I wish you all the best .. and as you have written from your heart, so do I .. you are an inspiration .. I thank the world for you .. thanks for what you radiate .. thanks for being .. take care .. kindest regards, Mark

    23. Randy ..that was so moving and has shaken my core ..and my core beliefs after reading the abun dance pdf. Thank you thank you thank youi.

    24. I'm a true believer: The people you know make you who you are, and “God allows us to experience the low points of life in order to teach us lessons we could not learn in any other way. The way we learn those lessons is not to deny the feelings but to find the meanings underlying them."
      ”Life will teach you the lessons, it is up to you to learn them”
      I thank god for you. You are true gift

    25. Magnificent sharing, Randy. Took guts to do so. I have a few sayings to add: Live life fully. No one will live your life for you. And know you are the creator of your own life. Your are the limiter, the creator, the do-er. What shall you choose today? How will you choose to live?

      Ask: what is the purpose of your life? And are you fulfilling it?

      Now GO! Live! One day you won't have that option and you don't know when that will be. Don't put off living NOW. Randy, I love you for sharing this critical message. And I am sorry for your loss, too.
      Andrea

    26. Randy,

      Your message hit me & David hard ... as we had just seen Gail last weekend and was so taken by the joy in her heart and the huge hug and heartfelt chat we had David and I had with her. It really stayed with me throughout the weekend ... so you can imagine the shock upon reading your email and how sad this news is for us both. Those sisters have been such special friends and great inspiration to so many of us.

      Then upon returning home, Tuesday was a really tough day when we learned that my mother is facing a very critical health challenge now ... that really came out of no where ... a total shock ... I am still shaking from the news ... and so very thankful we are now close by and can face this together... she is our best friend ... greatest inspiration ... and our ROCK ... and we are fortunate to realize that and tell her every day ...

      It is so true ... to live each day to it's fullest and love like there is no tomorrow!

      Thanks my friend,
      Ann

    27. Hi Randy

      What makes your writing so great is that you share things that others won't. It touched my heart and I thank you.

      xx
      Carmen

    28. Dear Randy,

      Thank You ... so filled with fear I have been almost unable to breathe wishing for everything to end ... now so filled with love and hope my tears are running freely and cleansing my heart from anxiety ...

      With gratitude,
      Mette

    29. I only want you to know that I cried reading this blog... you know??? I really consider you like my friend, and I'm your friend! God bless you Randy

    30. Hey Randy,

      If other people in the transportation business (taking people from where they are to where they want to be) would share a piece of themselves they way you do... they might not be broke, sick and stupid.

      Ever since I've subscribed to your list, I don't believe I've ever not read the entire message once I started. There's some I've missed because I was rushed and knew when I opened your email I'd be hangin' with you for a bit but I never delete your writing. It's golden.

      Frank Kern talks about how he didn't get rich and fulfilled until he started being genuine in his marketing. When he did he started attracting the kind of customers he liked and this made doing business fun for him.

      Like you, Frank isn't uptight about saying fuck or shit or god dammit. This is a teeny but significant to me, part of what makes you guys stick out from all the other stifled, stale and holier than thou guru's out there.

      This freedom to express yourself without a muzzle lets your voice soar and I'm grateful I've found you.

      Thanks for the reminder to live balls to the wall Randy.

      Note Taking Nerd #2
      http://www.mynotetakingnerd.wordpress.com

    31. Thank you very much. I *needed* this. And there are always misterious ways and paths that lead me to the words I need to read ...or hear. Blessings to you.

    32. Terribly sorry for your losses Randy...I hope they both are in peace now.
      And thanks for the intense sharing.
      You are a true leader, genuine sincere real, not afraid to share bits of himself.
      A knight in shining armour, that's what you are.
      I feel blessed to have crossed your path.
      Take care.
      With love.
      Isil.

    33. Hey Randy,

      Hope the pain of losing a dear friend will subside soon and leave you with only good memories of Carol.

      See you at Go Diamond in Gold Coast soon.

      From KL,
      Jeff

    34. Great, Excellent Blog!! I was in the hospital twice for a week or longer in 2003 for depression. I felt hopeless, but now I have a pretty good job and I am developing skills to be successful in Network Marketing. I am glad I didn't take my life then, but at the time I was very close.

    35. WOW Randy, very touchy post.

      I have been contemplating creating a "Suicide City" program where people who want to commit suicide can “check-out” of their world and their misery, and can “check-in“ no questions asked (kind of hotel, or dorm style) get shelter and food, social and career help to set their life on a better track, help with a move to a new city, and psychological help.

      It’s not an easy task to create, there are many challenges with this idea (besides money) and there’s actually ways the program can support itself within a few years , if anyone is in a position and has the passion to help with this please email me LouLandau@Gmail.com.

      Randy, if you wish to consider donating some seed capital for this plan, I’ll fly to SoBe to discuss it in more detail with you.

      Thanks
      -Lou

    36. Mr. Gage,
      Thanks for your uplifting, insightful and encouraging "Rants" letters! I look forward to them all the time. I'm thankful to have you as a mentor in this business. I've purchased "The Virtue of Selfishness" today and have started reading it. I also downloaded, The Fountainhead and Atlas Shrugged but I think I'd rather have the books so I'll purchase them too! I did listen to the first (3) chapters of The Fountainhead and I could relate to it..! You always talk about Ayn Rand and suggest we read her books. I was wondering how many people ACTUALLY listen to what you say and do that! Ayn Rand was a facinating person! I wish I would have known about her before! Anyway times have been tough for me financially for years and I do get depressed but not enough to harm myself. Keep up the good work and thanks for giving back...!

      Lajon Webb

    37. Randy, thanks!
      I got to meet you recently at an event in Dallas, my next step is to get to know you.

      I am definitely doing so, through your posts. Keep them coming!

      Its great to see you are trying to give, and we are more than willing to give you a try.

      Have a fantastic day everybody!

      Federico

    38. God, I love you Randy.

      You took me on a journey that reflected back my own.

      You are right -- the sun does rise again after the darkness. 🙂

      Louli

    39. Hi there Randy,

      i can relate so much to your life experiences.
      That all formed you in the wonderful person you are today.
      You are an inspiration to me and so many others.
      God bless you.

    40. Thank you Randy for sharing this and remind us about life.
      About 12-13 years ago I was sitting in my psychotherapist's office, telling her I was ready to start a therapy IF she would not try to change me and change my mind about suicide. I was so afraid to live. She said ok. I really believed her, well I was a teenager. Actually we did quite a good job together. A few years later I was smiling to myself
      being so happy to be alive and 'afraid' of not making the best of my life : ) Sometimes I project myself in the future (It'll be nice when... I'll be so happy when... what if ...) or I postpone things (calling a good friend I've not heard in a while) 'coz 'it can be done tomorrow' and I've to remind myself that I'm living NOW and that there's no better 'time' than now to live and the people we care about they're here now, tomorrow who knows...
      Thanks again Randy!

    41. The problem now days is the food source we have, is not supplying enough minerals and nutrients for the brain and body to be healthy.

      We need a full compliment of minerals to have good cognitive health and our soils are depleted of the proper minerals to grow healthy food source and then the drug companies are using to many mind altering chemicals.
      We need to return to nature to restore our health and take sea solids to replenish the minerals to the farming soils.
      Thats what went through my mind when I read your touching post.
      Thanks Randy

    42. Wow Randy,
      What powerfully touching words. It takes a tremendous ammount of strength to share such personal details as you have in this piece. Your words are truly inspiring and that's not just MLM hype 😉
      Thank you for writing this and thank you for being a shining beacon in the world.
      Thank you

      Ronnie Cruz

    43. Hey there Randy,

      We had the pleasure of meeting in Austin TX... Great experience thx to Tim Berry & Julie Mirr.

      Tonight I was offering a link to retweetist.com 's "How to Retweet - A Beginner's Guide" and I'm SO glad I found your post on their site. I feel like yours was there just for me.

      Because I was trying to decide:
      To Go or Not To Go... that was the question.

      I recently started working with a wonderful coach Sharon Melnick and I was presented the opportunity to Dive Deeper w/ my coach AND additionally attend a T Robbins UPW event.

      As I struggled to decide would it be worth it? Not to mention - How do you define worth it? Be it in time, monetarily or in better personal or professional results.... I found the situation reframed and a sense of calm and peace.

      Your words...

      "I would have missed many of the things that make a life worth living… "

      popped of the page. Your words of hope spoke loud and clear through the clutter of a long day.

      Than you challenged us to seize life. Do the things we're putting off!

      In that moment I knew I had to go, to put forth the effort even if I couldn't measure the results. It is my time to take it to the next level and so I thank you for your open and honest sharing on such a deep level. Your poignant reminder that we must choose to make life worth living.

      You and your post are a gift of encouragement to many.

      This song goes out to you Randy!

      "Dying to Live by Jonny Lang"

      ---> Listen Here ---> ♫ http://blip.fm/~2n3q4

    44. Gageyroo...

      Ya know i love ya and can be one of your toughest critics as most true friends are to each other at times. This is the kind of post that will save someone's life my friend. Thank you for posting this. You are a good man.
      I am blessed to call you friend and thank you for your words.

      Later gator
      W

    45. Wow Randy, really never read long stuff on the internet.. but this was GREAT in it's own way. Thanks for being a friend...
      Guess i'll read more on some of your blogs from now on...
      rob

    46. Wow, my hairs are standing up - that was a pretty powerful read. I'd contacted you Randy about 6 weeks ago regarding the work I'm doing in promoting the goodwill of the MLM industry. For a brief moment you'd showed some interest in what I'm doing. I got very excited thinking I'd finally captured the attention of someone who could really help me to make a difference. Eventually, I never heard back from you - my excitement was for naught. Or was it? Sure, being able to share what I have to offer with the likes of Randy Gage would've been a break beyond description. But, I understand I'm on a journey which has begun far beyond my comprehension to realize when. And I will reach my destination and the Universe knows how I will get there. So I believe, I trust and I will go forward knowing full well that I'll arrive.

      Thanx for an incredible post - was a perfect read for a Friday!

    47. Hi Randy,

      This is your best as it is from the heart.
      I recently lost my father and it was so painful.
      I am going through very rough financial situation now,but i always have the faith that i will make it.Life is precious,our body is a temple.We are spritual beings in physical form.We are divine.
      Right message at the right time.Thanks for sharing.

      Thanks,
      Kannan Viswagandhi

    48. The last time I read this, I was moved. But not moved enough to pen down my sentiments. My skull is thicker than the body of your Aston!

      Less than 2 years ago, I lost both my brother and father in a short period of 7 months. I was sad and devastated. But not enough for me to stop, think, and re-evaluate my life. Now you know how thick I am.

      As I was re-reading your post because of your tweet, suddenly I woke up to my senses and realized that I'm not invincible. I can leave planet earth any time and shouldn't be living as if I have the whole eternity.

      Now that I've decided my life motto would be to "stretch others and help them soar", reading your post again gives me another dimension to live it!

      Your message is really God sent. Although it was sent more than 3 months ago, it's still timeless!

      Thanks Randy. And I'm glad I can call you, "Friend."

      I appreciate you,
      M.

    49. Dear Randy,
      Tears run from my eyes as a read your blog.
      I shared your grief over the loss of a friend.
      I'm a follower of your teachings, and I share them, talking about prosperity,the "Why you're dumb-sick-and broke-and how to be smart-healthy-and rich" thing.
      Your message really is heartbreaking, for it deep, down to the core of the heart. The life we have is so precious, we really have to hang on, at least for another day, just because joyous experiences awaits us, and we really have to be there to receive them. Bottom line: Live Live, Live Your Life the Fullest.
      We love you Randy, you're really one great person.

      Thanks. I appreciate you.
      Sigfredo

    50. В этом что-то есть. Большое спасибо за помощь в этом вопросе. Я не знал этого.
      Добавлю в закладки.

    51. Randy,

      I am one of the fundamentalists you spoke of and I do believe that I am assured of my "better place" when my time comes. I am not saying this to condemn or or argue or to try to "convert" you or any of your readers.

      I am replying purely to say that your I agree with your thouhts and enjoy the way that you crafted your words.

      I agree that everyone has a gift, skill, talent, and/or some wisdom that's meant to be shared for "some purpose" whether you believe it is divinely ordered or a mandate from the universe. The result is the same.

      Live another day, give all that you've got, leave something of value behind when it is your time.

      Thanks Randy!!

    52. I just lost the love of my life to brain cancer. We were about two years from semi-retiring at 55 after working two businesses and about 60-80 hours/week for 20 years. Now all our dreams are gone, our future is history and I am profoundly sad. We did everything together and now I am alone and empty and without dreams. Its hard to live with no dreams or no desire to have new ones without my best friend. I don't see how this can get better...I don't know how I can go on.

    53. Yes, I can admit I have been right on the edge of the cliff, toes hanging over the edge. The pain I never feared, it was the "what would I miss?" that selfishness in me. The wind never hit my back, so I never went forward. Where I found the strength to take a step backwards I will never know, but there was a little voice in me that told me not to do it. And here I am today.

      I would have never met my little brother, or had been there for my mother when she needed me most, there are a lot of things. Most of all I would have misssed out on me, I always told myself there was something better, something greater... that I just needed to wait and be patient.

      Now I have finally been able to face my demons and scare them away. There is so much to live for. If you fall down face first in the mud, you gotta get back up and just wipe it off and keep moving.

      I have only 1 person to thank.. If it were not for him, I would still be in the dark, but he helped pull me into the light and turned me down a much brghter path.

      Thank you Tommy!!!!

      Randy, you inspire me every day, you challenge my thoughts and help me to correct them. I would never had known your name if it were not for him. So thank you for being you, and doing what you do.

      Jamie

    54. Randy,
      You are a good person with a good heart. The world needs more people like you! I wish you continued success and thank you for inspiring others for achieving their own success!
      Maryanne

    55. One of my friends committed suicide 5 months ago. He was suffered from a heavy depression. We were all shocked because he was an outgoing person who made people laugh all the times. I wish I was there to help him overcome difficult days in his life, listen to him telling him how meaningful his life is or just to give him a hug. I wish he allowed just one of us know what happened to him. He was joyful outside but no one knew he was deeply hurt inside...

      If he had read this blog post, he might have saved his life...
      I can't tell him anymore. May you rest in peace, L.

      Those of you who are reading this post, please appreciate the biggest ever gift that God gives you: YOUR LIFE. Please, there are many people out there love you and want to help you. At least, I am here for you if there is no one else. Come to me anytime if you need a friend.

      Thanks Randy for a thoughtful post.

      Love you all,
      Thuy

    56. Randy - Very very touching post.
      There is another side of life.

      I found the lyrics of La mamma morta "("Andrea Chenier" Maddalena di Giordano atto 3°) and cutted out an excerpt of the text whitch I often come to think about when death comes up as an subject. Please read if you come this far and dont hesitate to comment when you are done . And if not , its cool.

      She would not leave me:
      She bartered her beauty to kee me alive.
      I bring misfortune even to those.
      who love me.
      In all this sorrow,
      My poor heart woke to love.
      In a voice of soft compassion he
      murmured: "Heard him who
      calls thee.Life itseid enfolds thee!
      In my arms,no harm can befall
      thee,
      I am here beside thee.
      Thy tears of despair,I will banist
      Tho guide thy faltering footsteps,
      I shall be near thee!
      Let joy fill thy being,
      For Love itseld am I!
      Though thy path be dark with
      terror,
      I shall bring solace.
      Take heart again!
      Raise your eyes and behold me;
      I come to thee from out the vault
      of heavem above,
      Making earth a paradise.
      The god of Love am I!
      The angel hovered near me
      And kissed me with the cold kiss
      of death.
      So take this worthless body,here
      before you.
      "This as you wish...for I am dead already"

    57. In ONE WORD: BEAUTIFUL! Randy, you're an all-in-one person! Tender, tough, sensitive, firm and so much more!
      I got goose-bumps all over my body reading this.
      I feel very sorry for you to loose your friend Carol!

      Take care and hope to meet you again soon.
      Respectful Regards
      Stella Webber
      The Netherlands

    58. I am not contemplating suicide Randy, but you don't know how much I needed to read this today... Thank you!

    59. Randy, you are amazing!

      Thank you for your wonderful & inspiring post.

      This has been by far one of your best and very touching posts.

      It really brought tears to my eyes. I am so Grateful for everything in my life. In fact, I'll go ahead and write what I am grateful for in my life, right now.

      Thank You for being YOU!

      Hugs,
      Kate

    60. It's almost 4:30 a.m. PST. I just read your new post. Randy, you're very special and are a very good person, inspirational, and sensitive in many good ways. My insight was correct. I think I know you very well, especially when you speak of your grandmother and you walking with her in the rain.. and the card for your mother. You are truly a wonderful person, and your post today touched my heart. Thank you for being you, being so honest and expressive about how you feel and how you wish for people and I like you very much. Two people from different churches also commited a suicide a year ago and it was very shocking to me, too. I prefer to die first to live right than to live to die. Thanks again, Randy, for being you an being inspirational. Hugs::: Saachi

    61. This is heartbreakingly beautiful. This is the first time I'm reading this post. How did you know to post it up on FB today. I needed to read it. It is very hard loving someone who does not want to live, when all you can see is their beauty and light. It's months & years late, but I am very sorry for your loss. We vote everyday whether we live or die; i was dead for many years until i loved someone who wanted to die. And then i voted to live. 🙁 How tragic is that? Some day i pray he votes differently, and maybe I would feel like I made a difference in his life. He definitely did in mine, I live & love like I'll die at the end of everyday. Love ya rocksta. xoxo

    62. Randy, I am reading your blog in a funeral parlour while waiting to pay my last respect to my friend, Beng, who passed on yesterday. He was only in his 30s before his passing. As I read your poem, I was thinking if only I could have shared your poem with him, perhaps it could have lessen his pain. . . .I'm sure Carol and Beng have now found peace they have been looking for....

    63. Randy, Odd that I read this during a grieving period. No accidents.

      Thank you. This is a must read for everyone.

    64. No accidents indeed....I just found this site and read this blog. What incredible timing. Two years after my husbands suicide I still struggle every day. I want to live and have been trying hard; now I have tools and help to create what I want. I can be the model I want to be for my children and hopefully help them learn that chosen death is not the model they should look to in difficult times.

    65. Hi Sir!
      i tried a lot to change my mental illness, i read books like, think & grow rich with peace of mind, think and grow rich, when bad things happen to good people,..i also took the lectures on mind powers of john keho. but still there is no result coming up, i need your help sir, i tried many times to commit suicide, but couldn’t because i believe somehow in my mind that maybe time would change,…but nothing is happening. i tried everything i could but i am lost somewhere in my mind,…
      Being my mentor, i urge u to keep me out of this mental confusion,..i will do whatever it takes,..i am just lookin’ for directions,…
      yours’ truly.

        1. Please check with the Amen Clinics; there are offices in So. CA, Washington state and Virginia/Washington, D.C. This clinic does SPECT brain imaging scans on patients and advises protocols which common mental health practitioners do not delve into. I was shocked to learn that psychiatrists are the only doctors who do not look at the organ they treat.

          Check out their websites:
          http://www.amenclnics.com
          http://www.brainplace.com

          What you are experiencing may be helped by seeing these visionary professionals, and your pain lessened.
          Best and love to you.

    66. oh my god! this the most overpowering thing that i ever read! it hit my very soul. im struck:overwhelmed. you wake me 2 to life. thank wont be enough 4dat. but stil thank you a lot.. love jj6t ju5

    67. Dear Randy,

      This read was very inspiring, thank you for the blogs that you post, i have contemplated suicide in the past, but after this passage and a few others i've learned to respect life and live everyday like its my last.

      God Bless

    68. Randy

      This post makes me cry...Thank you for being so open I now know more about you and not only today's success...

      I believe that if anyone now having to deal with bad time they should read this...

      It's not only how the story goes that kept me reading but it warm my heart...

      I very much admire you and your work Randy...xxx

    69. You brought tears to my eyes. . .

      I was reading you post looking for the pain in my heart and your solution for that, but it wasn't in there.

      I was looking for: " If your country is ruling by dictators, please don't let them dash your hope, be hopeful, you gonna see them down. They are not going to last for long. Just keep your hope."

      Yes, HOPE . That's what keeps people alive in crises, that's what my people have and make us to fight for our freedom.

      We live for the day that we could speak freely, live without fear, live with justice, could have the elected president not the selected one, could write our beliefs and sign it with our name without being worried about getting arrested and tortured to death.

      Yes, we live for that day. . .

      But sometimes I just wish I could go to sleep and never wake up again, I don't dare to kill myself so I have to just hold on to my hope... Maybe I should listen to you, “There are joyous, wonderful experiences awaiting you, but you have to be here to receive them. Yes, it is darkest before dawn, but the dawn will always break through.”

      To Free Iran, To the Dawn

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SNocyz1NRjA
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Yoj71GgCqc
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HG8QZEZd-w4

    70. My dear Randy and you will always be that for me. Today, as many years now, you came and touched the heart, put the smile back on face, gave some water to the heart by whispering that if it's broken it means it can l still Love. You wrote a blog but gave Life and Love to many. Today was the day, I came home in the morning and I knew my heart is broken. I had to accept it and leave the relationship behind. And I wrote: "I might do mistakes, fall down, left broken-hearted, can't help crying but I will always wipe away the tears and stand UP! For this is MY CHOICE: give up or stand UP!" and published it... for pain was still there. You say it's on of your sad days... That means your heart is still longing for Love and read u this comment or not - im sending it to you frm my heart in my thoughts. You are the greatest person I've met in my life and I pray you stay blessed forever. Thank you, my dear Randy!

    71. Dear Randy Gage.
      I'm very sorry for your loss, and my thoughts are with you. I believe in life is eternal, and I'm sure Carol and her father get another chance for a better life and opportunity, and remember your caring influence follow and help them, where ever they are now.
      Lene

    72. Yes, this was really great words.I have struggled for many years with a health not badest but enough to never feel 100% happy.Heaviness,half-depression,aggressive behaviour,quit everything as soon as any problem comes ,my husband left me,my family worked hard against me, my friends dissappeared and so on.I have tried very hard to keep on going and this last year my life started to change a bit but still was my physical health a problem.I had some symptoms, and when I started a new work recently, those symptoms made me have to stop it, a "once again" experience.Saved from a new depression I started to google on these symptoms and found one sort of cancer who had exactly that ones.Scared and anxious I read all about it and was desperatly thinking of some way to cure myself before I went to the doctor and got the diagnose(crazy but optimistic, I would say).So I found a way of massaging on different places under the feet and searched for the place where the organs for my cancer was and started to massage myself and then I started to touch other places under my feet and felt terrible pain.The last week I have massaged my feet once every hour and beleive it or not,I am a new person!Ten fifteen years of health problems have changed dramatically in one week!My only explanation is that mostly all the energy in many parts of my body was in lack and with this special massage it came back again.I no longer think I have cancer, I feel comfortable in myself and a totally new faith for the future has come to me.It is a miracle, and instead of see it as if I could have done this ten years ago and not wasted so long time of my life, I choose to see it as TODAY my new life begins and I love it.Soon all my problems will be cured and my life will be filled where it has been empty for so long.Love you Randy.YOU ARE GREAT.

    73. Randy,

      First, condolences to you for the loss of your friend.

      This is such a powerful post, that there are now tears behind my eyes.

      I hope also that your mother never has to experience her son preceding her in death, for her sake and for ours. I'm so grateful that you did not follow through on your wish to be out of your pain during the time you wrote your suicide note.

      Part of me is almost speechless at the sheer, keen emotion in this post and then your ability to articulate it. You're living life so full-on, and being so transparent. It's compassionate towards the human experience and also inspiring, to me, to lead a bigger, better more meaningful life.

      I wish that I would have known who you were two years ago at XBM. I would have been pleased to meet you. I still would and look forward to that time.

      "Thanks" seems like such an inadequate sentiment to give for this post. I'm going to thank you in action's terms, by paying it forward.

      Continue to delve into the depths of what you can be, Randy. The value of your posts are innumerable. You could easily "skate" from where you are now, but choose not to, for which I am grateful. You're a blessing to the world.

    74. Thanks Randy, once again...
      Thanks for your life lesson....I am right now in a down moment...I have a chance...to not give up....
      Thanks again for remembering me what I have...
      Mihaela

    75. I wrote this in 09.. Maybe it helps..

      Life is a tree
      Planted in fertile soil,
      With love and support sets its roots,
      Grows, blossoms, towers above.
      Life is a tree,
      With withered leaves and naked branches,
      Lacks root structure, care or want,
      Begs for air, love, support,
      Dying from the inside out,
      Doesn't understand why.
      Life is a tree,
      Bonded by the roots of other stronger trees,
      Revived by the enduring love of a forest
      That doesn't want to lose another tree.

      Copyright Mature Content
      Copyright © 2009

    76. You are by far the most inspirational person I have ever had the pleasure to know...... Although I've never met you, you "talk" to me daily with your blog posts and the ALWAYS make my life better and urge me to be a better person... Thank you so much for sharing your life with us. Always in my prayers for your continued success and inspiration.....

    77. I read this a while back-and today for some reason I was compelled to read this again.

      Thanks for reminding me, why I do the work i do..... the alternative is death-physical, emotional, spiritual death...

    78. If you havent seen the film Shawshank Redemption I highly recommend it -voted number one of all time by film buffs - it is amazing and so full of wonderful lessons - my favourite line in it is " Start living or start dying."

    79. Moving article, I lost my youngest brother to suicide. I remember helping out a friend in a beauty contest in 95, her sister had committed suicide a few years before and it was in the papers, I not understanding was very cold in my comment, "oh your sister committed suicide" Who knew six years later as a sibling I'd be experiencing something similar. Lets see I'm laid off, have this talent which I'm so hesitant to move forward with I have briefly entertained the thought, but I'd have missed some awesome new work I created, the birth of my nephew and his ability to say "I love you auntie"

    80. THANK YOU for enlightening us, RANDY GAGE!
      You must have the highest possible Emotional Intelligence EQ, because it is your sensitivity, passion & WINNER ATTITUDE that propels you to turn the most horrible things into LESSONS of PROSPERITY and LIFE!
      Like Julie comments at the beginning of the thread, GRACIAS & THANK YOU.. And, I agree, this CAN be a BETTER WORLD, if we have more people like you. So keep on TEACHING US! God bless you! & lots of LOVE!!

    81. Wow.
      This is deeply moving and I can completely relate.
      My dad is a heroin addict, only met him a few times. My mom is a religious zealot who prays for my gay child.

      I find the more capacity I have to feel authentically sad, the more capacity I have to feel everything--love, joy, happiness, fear, etc.

      Beautiful, so glad we have you to guide us more deeply to ourselves.
      Love, Shawne

    82. I promised myself I was going to get away from all the electronical devices while I am away but as much as taking time to reflect is so important, it's hard to be alone surrounded by so much passion by myself. I was so shocked when I read this post. I never shared what had happened to me when I asked you all to pray for me. It seems destined to share it now. My very dear friend committed suicide recently and I was so overwhelmed. The pain was indiscribable. The part that bothered me the most was that I didn't see it coming and I felt so responsible. She was my best friend. How could you not know? We knew eachother since 7th grade. There was not a thing that we didn't know about eachother. We shared every aspect of our lives and she truly was an angel, always jumping into any situation that called her. She was the homecoming queen in high school and I watched her beauty fade with divorce and disappointments in life that never seemed to me to belong to someone who was so caring and giving as she was. She always told me that God had a very special purpose for me and that all my experiences in life were strengthing me to handle the responsibilities of it. Her blonde hair and beautiful hazel eyes were something no one would ever forget seeing and the warmth of her soul could capture the evilist of us. I am so sorry Randy for your sadness and loss. Know that I also feel the void and wonder in these challenging times, what it's all about. I know one thing for sure and that is we are all brought together for a reason and I can see one very significant one now. I'll pray for you Randy as I know you will pray for me. It's times like these when I truly understand how important faith is. The memories remain. Reflecting now on how things could have been. I know it will all be worth it in the end. We can't reach for something that's already gone. I have to believe, it was worth it in the end.

    83. Thank you, thank you and thank you. I have enjoyed it so very much. You are creme de la creme! God bless you and keep you always.

    84. Thanks for the heart-felt post, Randy. I'm so sorry to hear about your friend Carol and her Dad - and the heaviness on your heart from this. The heaviness reflects the depth to which you let yourself Love. For some, they never get there - it's such a vulnerable place. For me, I've gotten stung recently, in holding that space in my heart for what I want in my life, and it just plain hurts a lot. Your words bring me some solace. Thank you so much for sharing.
      I do think Carol and her Dad are in a better place.
      May your heart be filled with comfort and Light.
      Blessings to you,
      Nancy

    85. Wow! Another profoundly beautiful message. And here's the thing...I KNOW you saved at least one life with this. Not mine, (although you've done that too) but someone. I just know it! WOW! xo

    86. Hey Randy, happy thanksgiving to you and your loved ones.

      Thanks you much for always sharing your great inspiration on how to reach our full potential and live a life of our own designed.

      Be blessed.

      FJ Ortega

    87. WOW Randy, i read this post like 5 times today and every time i read it i had goosebumps.
      Thanks for sharing so personal thoughts. It makes me realize how fragile life really is and that you have to leave your life every minute and not just staring there.
      I am thankful today to be able to have you in my life as a couch, leader, inspiration.
      Thank you God Bless you

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    92. Thank you for writing from the heart with these touching words. I love and respect your transparency and honesty. I loved hearing you at the Mastermind in Houston and was sorry not to get the chance to talk with you - next year I hope.

      I find you a great inspiration.
      Charlie Holles

    93. Randy,
      I could not open the song... What is the name of it?

      Thank you for all of this... you have done...

      Take care,
      Marketa

    94. Awesome. I clicked on the link to the Accept Your Abundance ebook and it takes me to the main page of your store. Can you tell me where the book is? Thanks Randy.

    95. Oh how I love me some Jonny Lang! Always knew you were a man of exquisite taste!

      Thanks for this blog today Randy. As always, you're changing lives with your words.

      You are a gift.

    96. Randy first off let me say I am sorry for your loss of Carol. On my 40th birthday my friend Don took his life and I being the last one he spoke with got the call from the Coroner.
      I love your blog. I love your consciousness.
      Seven months ago I a 46 year old women was laying in my bed at an Alzheimer's care home as the family thought it would be better than a psych facility after a nervous breakdown left me paralyzed in fear of life and living again. To make a long story short I have been Suicidal since my recovery on and off for years. In the Spring of last year in walks a nurse who treated me like a person not a diagnosis. Slowly I realized I was still in there somewhere and picked up writing again. I got the courage to make a change which was a disaster however as to the point of your post I got to choose again because I did not give in to the darker impulses.
      Fast forward to today I am living in my own Apartment out of care and working on developing a blog. All this from me who made attempts, researched assisted suicide all day long while laying in hopes I would die.
      An old priest friend of mine was known for saying "Never Give up." Your post communicates that eloquently and though I am sorry for your pain and loss with Carol I think your post might save a life this holiday. I would not be surprised.
      Keep being you the world needs you.

    97. Just came here by chance following a friend's strange link from Tweeter... well, as a matter of fact things aren't going well.
      But let's say what I read helped a bit. Let's see.

    98. Been sick for a week now. Not a great pre-Christmas start. Wasn't wanting to read anything today but this post is here, there, everywhere. Wow. So glad I read it. This is not a year I will be sad to see go but so much, in spite of that, so very precious and amazing. And at some point this year I had to make myself read the prosperity blog. Who's this guy? What trouble has he known? He's leaning against some fancy car I have NO CLUE of. Does he realize how important it is to grow, to change, not just wish for big cars? He has no idea... I read you anyway and I haven't regretted it. You have an idea or two. 😉 I've dropped my preconceived ideas about the man leaning against the car and you've touched my life. Thanks for sharing from the real stuff here. It's where the heart is and that's where we all need to stay. Keep on keepin' on... (and strength to you during tough times...)

    99. Thank you so much for this post, for sharing your heart with the rest of us!

      It is very much in the same vein of an article that I wrote regarding focusing on Love and Appreciation to get us through changes, grieving and differences.

      http://jabsloveletters.com/archives/1028

      My favorite part of your post:

      "Call someone today and tell them you love them." ** We all should be willing to do that a little bit more!

    100. Just tell you how awesome your life experiences are, Randy. Every time I see one of my close friends getting stressed, worried, and depressed, I tell him about your story so that he might be able to overcome his problems, too. Reading what you had gone through, I think what he is going through right now is absolutely nothing, really. Thanks for what you do to help us learn to overcome our obstacles in life. 

    101. Just tell you how awesome your life experience is, Randy. Every time I see one of my friends getting stressed out and worried, I tell him your story so that he might be able to stop worrying and begin to look at things differently. Compared with what you had gone through, his long-lasting concern is minor, and it's the matter of how we see things, I think. I'm sure you agree that worry won't do any good.. Thanks for what you do to help us to develop positive thinking!

    102. Just tell you how awesome your life experience is, Randy. Every time I see one of my friends getting stressed out and worried, I tell him your story so that he might be able to stop worrying and begin to look at things differently. Compared with what you had gone through, his long-lasting concern is minor, and it's the matter of how we see things, I think. I'm sure you agree that worry won't do any good.. as I do care about my friend. Thanks, Randy, for what you do to help us to develop positive thinking.

    103. Just tell you how awesome your life experience is, Randy. Every time I see one of my friends getting stressed out and worried, I tell him your story so that he might be able to stop worrying and begin to look at things differently. Compared with what you had gone through, his long-lasting concern is minor, and it's the matter of how we see things, I think. I'm sure you agree that worry won't do any good.. as I do care about my friend. Thanks, Randy, for what you do to help us to develop positive thinking.

    104. Randy, I am sure you don't remember me, but I told you way back how awesome your life story is. I have this friend who used to get stressed out and worried so much but just want to let you know he is okay now because of your provrams. We appreciate what you do. Keep up the good work! Big hugs from us. We love you.

    105. Now... You made me CRY............ + APPRECIATE YOU MORE.......... THANKS FOR BEING A LIGHT 2 THE WORLD (tears rolling down now)

      1. When I was working out, I thought of this again... . Thank you for sharing... What could be more inspirational? + THE IMPACT you have...LOVE+LOVE YOU!

    106. If only you could bottle the thing that made you crumple up that suicide note and fight to live! So many people could turn their lives around. Would love to be able to find the switch that would make my friend see that life can change before she ends up like Carol. I am also really frustrated at not being able to understand why she never sees the light at the end of the tunnel, no matter how small the issue is.

    107. If only you could bottle the thing that made you crumple up that suicide note and fight to live! So many people could turn their lives around. Would love to be able to find the switch that would make my friend see that life can change before she ends up like Carol. I am also really frustrated at not being able to understand why she never sees the light at the end of the tunnel, no matter how small the issue is.

    108. Socrates: "The unexamined life is not worth living" - answers your question.  Human has the capacity to experience and to question life, therefore there is a potential for an answer.  Path, search - becomes an answer for some; life for the sake of living or living for the sake of life...

    109. Randy ... great post, shared it through all the buttons.
      But, I wanted to bring up one thing ... the link to “Accept Your Abundance” doesn't end up anywhere with a free download.  I hate to be "nickle and diming" the $7, but you're recommending that for folks "facing financial challenges", and I've not had a regular paycheck in FIVE YEARS and am in a position where $7 represents three bus fares to networking events, etc. and does not go our of my pocket lightly.  
      Is there a link to a page where that d/l is free, or a "coupon code" (I see that's an option on the order page) for it?
      thanks,
       - Brendan Tripp

    110. Randy, that was such a beautiful, poignant post. It's amazing how the tragic moments in our lives tend to make us put things in their proper perspective.  Thank you so much for sharing this and for just being you.   Keep up the tremendous work!

    111. I can only say I had many tears sheding while reading this.. I think there are so may people out there in the world today,  that would think differently after reading this...hopefully,  I say...The reason I,  came upon this is, I too suffer from depression , but I am too worried what my family would go through , If I were to take the easy way out...Again,  I always think of others before I do myself.....There were so may times,  I thought of leaving this world behind but,  somehow I got through it...I honestly, have been through so much,  that I am astonished by my will to really live, even today,   I got through it...I suffer from medical conditions on a daily basis...the pain is unbearable at times..I have actually died and they,  the drs brought be back and I was so discouraged...I was angry with God...But the point of me coming upon this is,  I was going to write that book ...The book that you were talking about....I was going to title it dying to live...So, I just got on the net and punched it in to make sure no one had written a book about this.....To my surprise there is...I can always come up with another title.  The fact of the matter is I was suppose to read this...It gave me HOPE....I love it!!!!!!!!  Thanks Sharon Denise Poss

    112. It is so moving to know that there are still people out there that actually do care and are willing to lend an ear to listen and knowledge of where to go next,  to get help , to those who are suffering...we all know that soon enough,  we are going to die..When are time is up...To give someone hope is an amazing thing....sharing each ones story,  is what  I call , a wake up call,  to those,  who are needing,  to really be loved....

    113. Sorry to hear of your loss!

      Thanks for this post.
      Light always breaks through the darkness. And when life goes haywire I have learned that it's The Divine forcing/pushing us to move on from what we are doing wrong or aren't doing quite right.

      One year ago I did not know I was heading for one of the darkest periods of my life. It was such an odd time and then my darling passed and a car accident, just after barely recovering from a nasty betrayal, etc.
      .....
      I am still here.
      .....
      With now a new person in my life which makes for some possibility for new happiness.

      For my future gains, I want to focus on my business more!! My company is great, and the people superb! I think in many ways the people and company were the one thing that kept me still here!

      Thanks Randy, for sharing, and helping others!

      Monika

    114. I love YOU~ thank you for this authentic, tear-rendering post. I'm sorry for the loss of your friend Carol. May her memory always be a blessing. Life IS a gift and worth living. You are a great mentor!

    115. Hello my friend. I'm sorry for your loss. I feel your heart; we all do. I speak courage into it; it's my honor to do so. I felt a "loss of self" in an indescribable way in late august. I prayed to God and from God for a heart attack, the depth of the pain was fathomless.

      The human experience is prosperous; the original blessing. We empathize; we care.. our experiences inspire our genius.. thankyou for your demonstrations of genius.. I celebrate the memories you have of and from your friend.

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