Let’s go back to the topic we were discussing before Christmas about how we co-create the things that happen in our life. I said that I happen to believe that everything that happens to me is manifested by me in some way. I even shared the story about how I got shot. Let’s look at this issue a little deeper.
As you know, another drama in my life was having my business seized by the tax authorities. Now how did that come about?
Actually the reason is pretty simple. I didn’t pay my taxes. Hello.
I started the business without enough capital, tried to bootstrap it, and couldn’t do it. Could the IRS have been more understanding? Maybe. Could they have agreed to the payment program I proposed and worked with me, instead of putting 15 people out of work? Yes, of course they could.
Now notice what happened?
I have just painted the picture of the IRS as mean, uncaring people who took the jobs away from 15 people. So that allows you to share my tragedy a little, and allows me to be a victim. But that’s just victim bullshit to cloud the issue and try to sneak out of taking responsibility for my actions.
If I would have paid my taxes, managed my money better, secured an investor, or done the other things I should have, the issue would never have come up. It’s easy to paint the tax people as cold-hearted slugs because well, so many of them are cold-hearted slugs. But the truth is – I alone am responsible for what happened to me.
Now let’s look at the issue of my crooked partners. Twice my business partners took me to the cleaners. No argument there, I was innocent, right? Here’s the reality.
I was a young, very talented, and hard working guy. And I made it a habit to go into business deals with older, lazy people with very little or no talent. In fact, they rode my coattails. And a deal that I could have prospered with, turned into a deal that was marginal, because I was trying to earn enough to support my non-contributing partners.
Why did I do this?
Who knows with such crazy behavior? But looking back now I’d guess it was a by-product of my low self-esteem. I think I was trying to prop myself up by always having to be the hero and do all the important things. By dragging others along on my coattails I was trying to justify my worthiness issues.
I could give you lots more examples, but you get the point. The real issue is this: How much responsibility do you take for what happens in your life? Are you trying to slide out of responsibilities by blaming things on “outside” factors? Or are you accepting responsibility as a co-creator?
Because that’s where the breakthrough are!