Let’s go back to the topic we were discussing before Christmas about how we co-create the things that happen in our life. I said that I happen to believe that everything that happens to me is manifested by me in some way. I even shared the story about how I got shot. Let’s look at this issue a little deeper.
As you know, another drama in my life was having my business seized by the tax authorities. Now how did that come about?
Actually the reason is pretty simple. I didn’t pay my taxes. Hello.
I started the business without enough capital, tried to bootstrap it, and couldn’t do it. Could the IRS have been more understanding? Maybe. Could they have agreed to the payment program I proposed and worked with me, instead of putting 15 people out of work? Yes, of course they could.
Now notice what happened?
I have just painted the picture of the IRS as mean, uncaring people who took the jobs away from 15 people. So that allows you to share my tragedy a little, and allows me to be a victim. But that’s just victim bullshit to cloud the issue and try to sneak out of taking responsibility for my actions.
If I would have paid my taxes, managed my money better, secured an investor, or done the other things I should have, the issue would never have come up. It’s easy to paint the tax people as cold-hearted slugs because well, so many of them are cold-hearted slugs. But the truth is – I alone am responsible for what happened to me.
Now let’s look at the issue of my crooked partners. Twice my business partners took me to the cleaners. No argument there, I was innocent, right? Here’s the reality.
I was a young, very talented, and hard working guy. And I made it a habit to go into business deals with older, lazy people with very little or no talent. In fact, they rode my coattails. And a deal that I could have prospered with, turned into a deal that was marginal, because I was trying to earn enough to support my non-contributing partners.
Why did I do this?
Who knows with such crazy behavior? But looking back now I’d guess it was a by-product of my low self-esteem. I think I was trying to prop myself up by always having to be the hero and do all the important things. By dragging others along on my coattails I was trying to justify my worthiness issues.
I could give you lots more examples, but you get the point. The real issue is this: How much responsibility do you take for what happens in your life? Are you trying to slide out of responsibilities by blaming things on “outside” factors? Or are you accepting responsibility as a co-creator?
Because that’s where the breakthrough are!
My coat tails have served as doormats...no, better yet treadmills (the slow fat ones have fallen off). Great blog RG, ties into the book I'm in the middle of right now (The 50th Law by 50 cent and Greene). The shame is I let them on and didn't realize it.
I too suffered from low self esteem up until about a year and a half ago. It took me taking responsibility for my life and moving across the country to realize that I can do anything that I put my mind to and that things weren't "just happening" to me. After that, anything that I have worked towards finishing and doing gets done successfully.
Thanks for the great thought provoking posts Randy! I agree that we create our own realities. Also, you never know how things will ultimately be manifested. This past year was very challenging and I worked like crazy to ultimately position myself in my company for a knockout 2010. It seemed like the harder I worked the more challenges arose in my company, and I kept moving forward with the thought that I would work through the challenges. What ultimately happened a little over a month ago was I had a job offer from another company that was unbelievable! I knew I would be positioned well for a great upcoming year, I just didn't realize that the source would change!
Thanks and I look forward to keeping up with your posts into 2010.
I feel like most of my life, I have tried to be the hero and save the day. Looking back, I created the situations so that I could be the knight in shining armor. Guess what? I always ended up looking like the idiot I was for trying such a fool scheme. My wife was always mad and my kids were deprived of things they needed. I think it goes all the way back to high school when I never was the cool athlete. I was smart and popular and president of several clubs, however, I was not the star athlete and for some reason I have spent 20 + years of my adult life trying to prove to the world that I am a hero and winner. I have missed alot of opportunities by not letting go of the past and being the best I could be in the businesses that I ran. Finally after losing it all, I do not care if I ever prove to my classmates that I am great. Now all I want to do is to run my current businesses the best I can and grow them to the level I want to reach. Screw the rest of the crap!!!!!! Forget the past!!!!
Thanks for 2009 Randy. About New Year's Eve:
"Tomorrow night is New Year's Eve. It is also a night of a rare "Blue Moon". This occurs when there is a second full moon within the same calendar month. It is especially rare when it occurs on New Year's.
You can be assured that the Illuminati will take full advantage of this 13th full moon of the year by performing sexual magick rituals globally. The energy may feel strange or uncomfortable from now until New Year's Day.
Stay in violet and keep the brown merger at your pineal gland 24/7."
AND do your own stuff on this special day!
Ah yes - I recall my flat mate 15 years ago taking my hand, taking me to the door, and asking me to lie down.
I NEARLY did!! The trusting fool I was.
But I asked: "why?" And he said: "Cos you let everyone else trat you like a doormat, so why can't I?"
I think you are to be commended for being so open and honest. Wishing you well in the New Year
It is great when I read this entry on the last day of 2009.
Yes, I must ask myself "How much responsibility do you take for what happens in your life? Are you trying to slide out of responsibilities by blaming things on “outside” factors? Or are you accepting responsibility as a co-creator?". I believe the life is better when I have a exact answers for these questions.
Thank you so much Randy, and Happy New Year frm Vietnam
There is this wonderful quote I read in Jasmuheens book 'The Food of Gods' by Charles Swindoll: “The longer I live, the more I realize the importance of attitude on life. Attitude to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than past, than education, successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. It will make or break a company….a church….a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past. We cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is to play on the string we have, and that is our attitude…… I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you….. we are in charge of our attitudes.”
Thank you Randy for your insights, you are a divine spy in disguise (paraphrased from Jessica Schab)! Happy end to this great year and everyone have a fabulous next one!
Bring it on, Randy!
As always, you speak the truth!
Once we take full responsibility for our lives, we can truly have breakthroughs!
Happy New Year
Happy New Year.. My responsibility is not based on being a hero. It is based on selfishness.I know I had friends and a lot of people who I supported and needed them to win by pressing advice and action that can help them, to cope up their hardship in life, but I finally realized These things cant help me and let me struggled. I am happy I can't do that. In fact, right now, based on the virtue of selfishness, I am gaining my identity, gaining money that let me eat in the restaurant. thank you
Great blog Randy...I remember the time when I realised I was blaming everyone else for problems in my life....taking over the reins and moving on was such an inspiration and a breakthrough......thanks for opening my eyes...
Happy New Year..no doubt you will have the burning bowl out later...
love Angie :))
I love it when you share your personal challenges. It makes you more human. I can related to your stories and I am breaking through my own denail and blame.
Happy New Year’s Eve! Writing this to you takes me out of my comfort zone … but after all, isn’t that the stuff miracles and real expansion are made of? I woke up this morning with a strong knowing that I necessarily needed to write and send this today as a sort of ‘investment’ in my new way of thinking and commitment to my own growth in 2010, and then the theme of your blog was all about creating your own reality and taking responsibility, so here I am.
As you may recognize my name, I was one of the two ‘winners’ of your ‘Night Before Christmas’ remake competition this year. When I first saw the contest, it presented itself to me as a an opportunity to use a natural talent I have to be able to manifest a lump sum of money that, if you truly new my current situation and my motivation level, would create an entirely new life for me and my family. Yes, I was EXCITED! I believed this to be an opportunity to harvest the seeds of desire I have been planting and tending for some time now and I knew it was created just for me! I felt so grateful that I had been lead to your website and videos these past few months and now finally to this contest. I just adored you for being such a generous man who not only spreads your knowledge but shares your actual wealth too – walking your talk and giving others the opportunity to experience some of the comfort and freedom you have. I was just in awe of your spirit.
On Christmas Eve day, I worked for 9 hours at the job I now have, and then came home and put my family and my Christmas dinner on temporary hold for two additional hours so that I could pen my best entry to submit … knowing that if I won this prize, it would be a blessing not only for me, but for them as well. The prize money would allow me to create more avenues of income – and more income equals more freedom of time – and being able to spend more time with my children would be only one of the many benefits of the changes I am working on manifesting in my life.
Devotedly, I worked on my poem. (Though I must confess that writing is my true passion and what I dream of most to do in the world as service, so it was a labor of love and I had great fun doing it.) When it was done, I took it downstairs and my entire family begged for the preview reading before it was formally submitted. So I indulged them.
I read it to them. They loved it. I pressed the ‘send’ button. Done.
Then we waited. For two days, we waited.
Finally, as I checked into your website a couple of days later … there was the grabbing title “And The Winner Is …” I opened up the link began to read with anticipation. And I have to tell you, the chain of emotions that followed next were like individual comic book frames.
When I got to the actual line that said my poem had won – I was ecstatic! It was a feeling like no other I have ever had … Not just selfish excitement, but in one moment in time I experienced emotionally complete and total validation for the principles I have been so loyally investing in and teaching my kids with sheer blind trust for some time now. I had successfully used the Law of Attraction to answer my prayers and now instead of having my face pressed against the outside of the window looking into my dream life, the door was opening and I had been given the key to enter! It was the stuff my poem was made of! And better yet, I had just won the Universal Lottery that would give proof to my children who were doing their best to have faith after a long string of rough times in our family that Mom’s example of taking responsibility for one’s thoughts and attitudes really is the way to make your dreams into reality. Woooo Hooooo! Great Success!!!
Then, when I saw that my poem had tied with another entry, I was even more excited. I was thrilled thinking that someone else’s life was going to potentially change dramatically by virtue of winning this prize too – and even if we needed to split the prize money, half of the initial amount was still enough, if used properly, to give birth to great opportunities in one’s life … and now two of us could manifest great dreams as 2010 was rolling up right around the corner.
Then, when I read that there was really no prize money at all that would be doled out … that instead we were only to be mentioned here blog and wished a “Happy New Year” with a pat on the back – my heart momentarily sank. How was I going to tell my children that on one hand, yes – I had won the competition, but on the other – there was nothing more than congratulations on the way? How was I going to tell myself? I felt like a fool. I went back to the original blog inviting participation and re-read how it was pitched. Sure it was tongue in cheek and you are a humorous guy by nature – and it clearly said right on the page in black and white that the prize might only be what it was … honorable mention. But, I had expected so much more. Did I take this competition too seriously? I believed the prize money was real. I believed in the dream. And I wished , more than anything, in that moment that I could go back in time and not tell my kids about the competition at all. But instead I had to explain to them what had happened.
But here, Randy, is where the real stretch and growth begins for me ...
After reading ‘no prize money’ … I did what I always do. I silently swallowed my disappointment, brushed my own personal worthiness and dreams aside and did the 'big' thing, the 'gracious' thing ... I left a comment on the blog telling you that I felt honored to have won the competition and thanking you for being such a great teacher and sharing your ideas and experience with so many … I truly meant it then, and I still do. But as the days since the contest have begun to pass, the fact that I am still face pressed up against the glass window looking out over my dream life without the key to get inside has increasingly irritated me like a grain of sand does to an oyster. And not only that – I wasn’t completely honest with you!!!! I really WANT my dreams! And more importantly … today I woke up and truly realized something that has been a major sticking point for me my entire life – Damn it, Randy – I DESERVE my dreams! And everywhere I have looked since this silly Christmas Poetry Contest cropped up, there has been one message repeated over and over again – and that is … people who feel they truly deserve what they want are not afraid to ask for it.
I know you understand the value of $100,000 to someone who is not yet in the same position you are in. I also know that teaching someone how to fish is far more valuable than just giving them some fish – but the situation I have created for myself in my life leaves me struggling for the resources to build my dreams, though my ambition is mighty! Part of me can’t believe I’m gonna say this, especially on a public forum, but … Randy, I am asking you to reconsider how you awarded the contest. The state I find my life in right now is a direct result of my constantly having turned the other cheek, settling for less than I want(because really didn’t believe I deserved it until now) and putting my own feelings and desires at the bottom of my list! How’s that for taking responsibility? And … I’m not willing to do that anymore!
Deep down inside, I know that if my opportunity doesn’t come through you – it will come from somewhere else, I truly believe that – but I also don’t believe in accidents or coincidences and your arrival into my life along with this contest were timely, to say the least. I will continue to value what you offer and enjoy your wit and straightforwardness regardless of what happens with this inquiry, but would you please consider what I’ve said here? … of course, I believe you would! 😉
Thank You, Randy. Like I said above, I am ever so grateful for you and all that you do – like helping me finally get and understand that I DESERVE what I want in my life for ME … I just had to come back to you and ask.
Randy you said it and its true, it was harder to take responsibility for my own actions and be accountable - easier to blame other people other things...funny thing though - once you do take responsibility it changes everything and makes life so much simpler and sweeter.
"The real issue is this: How much responsibility do you take for what happens in your life? Are you trying to slide out of responsibilities by blaming things on “outside” factors? Or are you accepting responsibility as a co-creator? Because that’s where the breakthrough are!"
I took some time the last few days to re-energize...I needed some peace and I had to tune out the noise. Yes, I have faced difficult times and I have failed but that is not what I want to focus on in the new year. I take responsibility for my failures, learn from them & move on. "Last year's words belong to last years language and next years words await another voice. To make an end is to make a beginning." ~ T S Eliot
Yes, that is where the breakthroughs are & I did have a breakthrough. I'm sharing in case it helps someone else.
I'll start with how I re-energize myself...
Sometimes it is working out at the gym. It is not always easy to go to the gym...though I always feel better after a workout.
Sometimes it is spending time with family & friends, or meeting new friends. Just the other day I met 2 women, none of us knew each other, and in conversation we discovered we all had a common interest...one is an artist (20 years) and one is in college for photography. My Christmas present to myself was...a sketchbook. Art was something I abandoned years ago...because of the stories we are told & then we keep telling ourselves the same story that may not be true. I used to lose track of time when I drew. “Every second is anew, a chance to become more of who I really am.” ~ Eugene Williams
This time, where I spent most of my time though when I wanted to re-energize was at a bookstore coffee shop...it is where I go to think, write & study. I lost track of time. Time went by quickly and that is important in discovering your greatness.
Creating your own reality...from imagination, dreams, goals & inspiration. Stay in constant motion working towards your dreams. Sometimes it is creating the peace you need to re-energize, listen to yourself or find your purpose.
"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined." - Thoreau
Accept responsibility as a co-creator.
Happy New Year!
I think the gift that Randy HAS given you here is worth more than a $100 000 - what he's gifted you is a sign that if you set out to achieve something you can though there are a few things that have to happen:
*You have to make sacrifices - give up a bit of time with your kids to focus on your dreams
* You have to focus with determination
* You have to block out time and ignore everything else
* You have to have a clear intent and goal and believe in it with everything
* You have to work darn bloody hard
And when you DO you will reap the rewards!
I read your post yesterday... and wanted to share a couple of things about Randy that I've come to know reading his blog, and listening to him speak over the last decade or so on concalls.
He's helped hundreds of people become millionaires through his teachings... in his team and outside of team. He simply has a massive commitment to prosperity.
He is extremely generous. If I recall last year he gave over a hundred thousand - I think it was even 3 hundred thousand... Anyway - a lot.
One of his teachings that have served me tremendously is that I personally have to change for things to change... and stop asking others to rescue me.
One of the biggest challenges is overcoming wishing OTHERS would help out.
As I've known he who he and a few of his millionaire friends are for years, I've come to see how amazing they all are with their time. But I have never asked them for money EVER - even tho they may have given it. And here's why: asking for money still comes from a victim mentality, believing that you are powerless to earn it yourself.
As I've seen other friends get rich around me, they share how hard it is with people constantly wanting money of them. One friend even created a product to give to people who asked for money... Called How to Ask for Money. Bascially to show that they needed a strong workable plan that could probe that the money would be invested wisely AND that it would be an investment for them... etc.
And THAT is one of the key things I've had to work on - my victim mentality. And getting rid of the entitlement - that you have not given of value and still deserve more, simply because!
Your dreams are so worth you not putting your nose against the window - you've just proved to yourself that when you create a compelling vision of success you CAN achieve it, and go all out.
In the book NINE LIVES THAT ARE HOLDING YOUR BUSINESS BACK it's said that one of the lies is "you need money to make money" - what you DO need is a vision, creativity and hard work. You've proved you can do it.
There's so much love for you here! I look forward to reading about your success over the years.
A while back I spoke to Randy and he told me that 98% of authors never sell more than 1000 copies of their books... what they need is self-worth, amazing marketing ability, and fucking hard work to promote it. As I read about authors who became successful I have shuddered at the work involved.... so I've stoppped writing, and now am working to build residual income so that when I have created the wealth, I can fund the marketing of the books.
If you can do THIS imagine how succesful you can be in your business...
Love to you!
Did you take this too seriously? Yes you did. But that is not necessarily a bad thing if you take the next step in developing your consciousness. Natalie makes the point better than I ever could with her reply. The only thing I would add is this:
When you say "I know that if my opportunity doesn’t come through you – it will come from somewhere else" please consider this: That your opportunity will come through YOU. And can only come through you.
The universe can only do for you what it can do through you. And you're in the driver's seat. Prosperity comes from creating value-for-exchanges. When you do that, you manifest it.
It is never based upon need. Certainly there are thousands of people that could post here the many needs they have. But that route only leads to more victim-hood. Those that grow their consciousness and look for ways to provide value are the ones that manifest prosperity.
You displayed creativity with your submission. Now channel that creativity on how you create value to the universe and you'll find things turn around for you quite rapidly I am sure.
We all make sacrifices...I don't know if we should sacrifice our genius though. I did sacrifice my genius before and it did not make me happy. I was successful and made a lot of money but I was not happy.
When you say you stopped writing...is writing your genius? Is it what you are passionate about? Does it make your time go quickly? Is it your purpose?
Natalie and Randy, I want to thank you for your thoughtful responses – I do feel the love! 😉 And let me say that I believe and agree with the philosophical principles you have shared here 100%. The wisdom you both bring is not only valuable, but well-spoken. And, what I also know to be true is that it is quite easy for all of us to make assumptions about each other without knowing all of who we are (I know I have many times) – and how could we truly know each other here in this quick message exchange?
I have never, would never, just ask someone for money or expect someone else to ’pay my way’ – which was my fear of putting my true thoughts and feelings out here yesterday – that they might be misinterpreted in that way – and indeed they were. This was a contest (albeit I read into it far more literally than was intended), not a beggar’s forum … and I did put forth effort in exchange for something. (Would penning a poem be worth $100,000? I don’t know – because I am not the one who set the value.) I naively misinterpreted it – plain and simple. Please do not accuse me of asking for handouts – I shudder at the thought.
I whole-heartedly agree that we live in a world where so many people are ‘waiting’ for someone else to come along and do their work for them … rest assured, this is not me. It is easy to imply that what is missing for me is to ‘work hard’ or ‘spend some time away from my children’ … but that is certainly a miss on the reality of how I conduct myself in my life. I could go on to explain who I really am and what things currently look like for me, but in doing so I would be focusing on my personal challenges, not my personal direction – and I don’t spend my days in ‘victim mentality’ … I spend my days focusing on where I plan to be a year from now. I have co-created this reality I live in, and I can re-create it, too. I work very hard, I want to work smart – and I saw this as a potential tool to lay the foundation for creating the very residual income you speak of . Other opportunities will be created - through ME – (as if this one wasn’t?) and I will get to where I aspire to be, I am sure of it.
I do still have to challenge one thing in your post though, Natalie, and that is in regards to needing to lose our sense of entitlement. Unfortunately (and I know it to be emphatically true in my own journey) I believe that it is a missing sense of ‘entitlement’ is the very root cause for lack in our lives. It certainly has been in mine as I shared yesterday. We, as human beings, don’t believe we deserve – and we are told that we don’t deserve what we want for most of our formative years – therefore we settle for less … and your post to me, in a kinder way, delivered very much the same message. What is interesting to me is that if you had asked me a year ago, I would have been right there along with you, but not anymore. I have come to discover that I can work as diligently and as hard as I can, but at the end of the day – if I don’t believe I am worthy, my fortune will still elude me. There is a balance between attraction and action … both are necessary – and the basis for ‘attraction’ is a strong inner belief that you deserve to have and enjoy what you want. For me, the greatest step I can take towards taking responsibility for my own life is to own up to all the ways in which I have undervalued who I am and my own contributions to the world up to this point and yesterday was a step in that direction for me. This is not a substitute for action … it is a companion for it.
I will continue to learn and grow from the views and information shared here and in other communities I choose to be a part of, and I love you Randy for making a forum like this one available to those who want it
There definitely is a difference between worthiness and entitlement. May be a good topic for a future post.
Way to hit a chord....these are the longest blog comments I have ever seen
Sometimes a move across the country is exactly what is needed. That's what it took for me to get my head and behind wired together as my partner would say lol. Its a slow process though sometimes but its definitely worth it!
After suffering with the "savior hero" complex for years i finally realized that the Universe will take care of those people without me.
Thank God, I was was wearing myself out.
I also feel that difference - tho there are stages of entitlement I think... that hold different energies.
There's a sense of entitlement from the notion - because I exist I should be given all I want - regarldess of what I do.
And the entitlement of a victim - because I need I should be given - even if I have done nothing of value to deserve it.
I think for the difference is entitlement is an indignant righteousness, vs deserving of your good (like said above) is knowing your true worth.
The entitltement comes from an overated sense of worth that is based on nothing - its empty and devoid of quality needed to receive.
Deserving comes from having given true value, and a deep sense of knowing that you shall receive appreciation for that offering. And unless accept and own that worth - you won't allow it to come in and will sabotage the good and appreciation of your value. Each moment of receiving you push away...
I have many things that I love - coaching, writing, acting, parenting, playing, orgasms, teaching, meditating, art...
All make time go quickly... AND in order to both be responsible financially for my kids AND make my genuis outstanding and giving remarkable value in the world I need to develop the residual wealth to invest in them to make them outstanding...
I've been poor and lived celebrating my genuis. Now it's time for RICH and celebrating my genuis, and generously work with others to do the same. So that more of us have the income to fund ou genuis into brilliance.
Yes isn't is nice to see critical thinkers in discussion!
Randy, Kimbra, and Natalie, I am very impressed. I didn't quite understand the difference between entitlement and worthiness either.
Our culture (at least US culture) seems to be be steeped in entitlement, and appears to worship victim hood. That was a huge part of my problem- people gave me more attention when I was an "innocent victim", and I fell into a pattern. Yep, I was only noticed when there was drama, and not rewarded when I did well, no one seemed care for more than five minutes about that.
It became an addiction. An addiction which has caused me to make moronic decisions, give up personal responsibility, and attract all sorts of negative people and circumstances.
I understand your story pretty well Randy, and I'm not much younger than you were when you woke up and changed things (28).
I say these things, because although I have been working on myself more, I am still very stuck. I realize this is my own fault, and I need to stop listening to the idiots who think that going back to college will magically solve my problems or that "if I do the right things like so and so," or "they're lucky" or "they have it easy."
When I lived in Philadelphia, and ended up back in Minnesota due to my own stupidity, I had met people with tons of education that worked at bars or retail (people with high SATs and GPAs I might add), and people that were prosperous whom had never taken a single college course. I have real world evidence a person's success is more about their choices and mindset than their background or past.
I'm experiencing a lot of cognitive dissonance right now, because I know that there are alternatives. Need advice on dealing with the herd.
I think only you can determine if college is the right choice for you at this time. Tune out the herd and listen to yourself. Discover your purpose. "...your opportunity will come through YOU. And can only come through you. "
I have always seen myself as the way I achieve financial success. Self-Reliant. I have been working/creating value since I was 12 or 13 years old. I put myself through college by working/creating value. By increasing my knowledge I created value. People can also create value without a college degree.
I don't really like victim attention. I have avoided people so I don't have to answer questions about a failure. If I do talk to someone & they start asking me questions that really is none of their business, I change the subject. If that doesn't work, I walk away. I avoid negative people. I don't like gossip and believe it says more about the people doing the gossiping than it says about me. If I offer friendship to someone and they return it with negativity then I let them go. Negativity only brings people more negativity. We have to work at staying positive & not let the negativity affect us.
I don't like to fail, but it is a part of life & the way to greatness...and I am thinking that it is the way to prosperity. Learn from your mistakes and move-on. Keep moving toward your dream.
One point that I find so important, when looing at my responsibility in any event is that by recognizing I contributed or affected the outcome, it is the best way of also giving me the most power to make change. If I was not responsible, and others were to blame it is very difficult for me to gain and move forward from the event.
Even when I "know" I am a victim I want my power, and knowledge to grow, and I have to find what I could have done differently.
To avoid confusion, I am not suggesting that the other party had a right to behave in the way that they did.