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Creating Real Breakthroughs or Living in Denial

Posted By: Randy GageOctober 11, 2009

Last post I mentioned the crowd at my prosperity workshops and how I threatened their core beliefs.  I asked how you deal with that situation.  And I hope you gave it some serious thought.

Because how you handle questioning your core beliefs is what determines whether you have any real breakthroughs, or you’re just living in fantasy land…

Because everyone has breakthroughs.  Only for most people, they are false breakthroughs.  Pretend breakthroughs which are simply their crazy mind tricking themselves into believing that they have made a real change.

That’s the scary thing about mental illness:  (And I define mental illness as pretty broad, including codependency, addiction, inability to accept love, inability to express love, etc.)  Unless you get professional help, your mental illness just goes underground and reinvents itself in another way.  So you pat your self on the back for quitting one addiction, when you’re simply replacing it with another one.  Or you end one dysfunctional relationship and immediately replace it with another one.

So how are you REALLY about questioning your core beliefs and making meaningful changes?  Give that some serious though and share your insights below.  And we’ll explore it more in the next post.

-RG

21 comments on “Creating Real Breakthroughs or Living in Denial”

  1. That's why most diets don't work. It's not the diet plan, it's the mindset or as you call it 'the core belief' that dictates the outcome even before the action is taken. Great post. Thanks for sharing.

  2. for more than 5 years now following the book of Tony Robbins "awaken the giant within" i have done questioning and changing my limiting beliefs. now with your help and insights these changes are being reinforced. i am willing to still find new more limiting beliefs to change and adapt new and empowering, prosperity based beliefs!!!

    Namaste
    gene

  3. well I feel like I'm having breakthroughs and they are real because many of them are lasting. Some are mad creative insights that go nowhere.

    I find if I write stuff down with journalling I can review my progress regularly and see what was nuts (!!) and what was authentic change for the better.

    Well it is a long journey - what can I tell you?!!

  4. Randy,

    Most people believe they are having breakthroughs when for the moment they are and then before they know it they are right back to where they begin. It is only with change that lasts where the real breakthroughs come through. I have been changing my beliefs for the last 23 years and while some are the same and I still struggle with them, others are lasting. One thing I do know is change regardless of what it is takes time, courage and the extreme desire and want to do it for it to really be a breakthrough past your limit beliefs to something new and exciting.
    Becky

  5. Getting conscious about who you are and what you're doing in the world, not only to yourself, but to others, is part of the journey from birth to death. The continuum of waking up is the gift we give ourselves, but it takes a lot of work, consistency and discipline to stick with it. That's why so many fall back on their old habits and patterns. Going beyond the fears, doubts and anxieties is getting beyond the imaginary games the mind plays on you. Getting fearless is not the absence of fear, but the choices and decisions we make when fear shows up in our lives. That's where the breakthroughs happen.

  6. In order to change, I need to be honest with myself. What are my beliefs hiding?What am I afraid of?What do I imagine would happen?
    The mind is built to avoid pain and it is so clever that it will inflict pain to avoid a greater pain.
    For example, If someone stops eating junk food,then he/she needs to deal with the emotional baggage such as feeling rejected as a child. That feeling is stronger than the feeling of eating a healthy diet.
    So, yelling at someone you are fat,broke and dumb doesn't work. It doesn't deal with the root causes of the symptons.

  7. Hi Randy;

    What I found for myself is, that change is mirrored in the quality of my present experience. there is no tricking myself there.
    If my present reality is not altered, or something new comes into my life, then it's a sure indication that my belief system has not been changed.

    When limiting beliefs are re-programed life experiences are then alter to suit that new belief you attract new people, circumstances, money etc. I frequently stop and take a look at my present reality as an indicator of where my thoughts are, and where they should be or would like them to be.

    Regards
    Olga

  8. Dear Jacqueline, i liked ur saying "Getting fearless is not the absence of fear, but the choices and decisions we make when fear shows up". Can u plz tell what can one do when there is no choice left in life, and one is not able to create those choices?
    thanks

  9. Wow, Mr. Gage. I love this entry because I have really been focusing on this very subject. It's kind of the saying of what's holding you back is when you don't know what you don't know.

    Programs and beliefs can be so deep and so a part of our every day lives (approximately 50% of all our programming and belief systems are in place by the age of three) that, in my opinion, if we don't have someone such as yourself presenting situations, scenarios, and learning opportunities that will bring up those belief to the light, most of us don't even recognize them for what they are.

    As I read through your prosperity series recently, you presented examples of other people's beliefs that I related to, and how you brought them to the surface. Interesting watching people become defensive when their core beliefs became threatened.

    But it's at that point that someone can examine that belief and ask, 'is this belief still serving me? Or can I replace it with one that will better serve me?'

    Unless these core beliefs are questioned, many people continue to do the same thing over and over thinking they are improving themselves, and expect different results (ahh, the definition of insanity?). Then ask why did that not work?

    Real breakthroughs in which the core belief is identified, examined, and eventually replaced just don't occur that frequently.

    And going through that process can be never ending.

    So I'd like to ask, Mr. Gage, how would you suggest I go about presenting these ideas to myself?

    Or CAN I present the questions to myself? Are my core beliefs so deep that it requires outside assistance to unearth them?

    I know many, if not all, of my core beliefs, as you mention, hide in an attempt to stay right where they are. These beliefs will fight for their existence. I've seen it in action.

    What is your advice and input?

    Jhanna Dawson

  10. You need a new perspective. You have to give yourself a time to get into a positive mind set and you will see choices or ways to create new choices. As long as there is life, there are choices. When you let the negative take over, you just can't see it. But it's there. Keep looking and don't give up. Crazy, but this was on the inside of a Dove chocolate, "Success seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go."

  11. Randy:
    Great. It seems that the person who is addicted doesnt' see the addiction. One of most powerful hook of the mind is denial.
    I know it has taken me a long time to break the addiction between lack of money and spirituality.
    It seems that the addiction is protecting some kind of identity as a sufferer to justify been miserable.
    How was it for you?
    Thanks for sharing your negative patterns.

  12. I believe there are different levels of the "breakthroughs" we are talking about here, since we have different levels of beliefs and values.

    I think many of us make breakthroughs on the more surface stuff fairly regularly, but getting down deep to the "base level" and questioning our foundational beliefs and values is really difficult because that means we really have to change and that means real pain.

    I know I struggle with that - its easier to simply work on the
    "top layers" and make some honest changes that can be reflected in our daily lives by doing so, but if we can steel ourselves and spend some time down at the foundation, however painful it may be, the level of personal change and transformation can be so much greater.

  13. This is a valid post Randy.

    There is now a way to achieve a break through - quickly, deeply and thoroughly.

    This is amazing stuff and if you come to Florida we will teach it to you - Core Health - Comprehensive Kinesiology...

    I AM Blessings and Love

    Michael

  14. I thought about what you said about "knee-jerk reactions" to challenges to my belief system. The last 5 or 6 years have been interesting for me because I have been challenging a lot of my core beliefs about everything, not just my religion. I challenged what I was being taught in my former religion and even though it was difficult came to the belief that I was much better off not following my family's faith and discovering my own. It ended up alienating me from the vast majority of my family. My dad, a Pentecostal minister rarely speaks to me now for example. And it wasnt just my religious ideas that were challenged. How I raise my children, how I approach my intimate relationships, how I do my job... all of it got explored and looked at under a microscope so to speak. Mostly, I am still examining myself and my core beliefs about things. I attempt to remain open to changing anything about myself that gives me that knee-jerk reaction. If someone were to challenge me on why I believe that "Harm none" is the right way for me to go I am able to report that I don't feel defensive anymore but can instead look at it as a opportunity to explore that belief further in open discussion.
    As a result of that exploration I am happily finding that I seem to be more whole as a person. I have become less dependent on other people for my own identity in all areas of my life. Yes, I still need people around me and wont soon be wandering off to a mountain cave to "commune with the universe" however, how I see myself is less a reflection of other people and more who I want to be.

  15. Hi Olga,
    What a great comment. On occasion I stop and look at my present realty. I have found that this is so helpful and wonder why at the end of another day it is like I have taken two steps forward and one back. The operative word in your comment that I need to focus on is frequently. Then and only then will I keep the momentum going. Thank you!
    Warm regards, Julie

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  • 21 comments on “Creating Real Breakthroughs or Living in Denial”

    1. That's why most diets don't work. It's not the diet plan, it's the mindset or as you call it 'the core belief' that dictates the outcome even before the action is taken. Great post. Thanks for sharing.

    2. for more than 5 years now following the book of Tony Robbins "awaken the giant within" i have done questioning and changing my limiting beliefs. now with your help and insights these changes are being reinforced. i am willing to still find new more limiting beliefs to change and adapt new and empowering, prosperity based beliefs!!!

      Namaste
      gene

    3. well I feel like I'm having breakthroughs and they are real because many of them are lasting. Some are mad creative insights that go nowhere.

      I find if I write stuff down with journalling I can review my progress regularly and see what was nuts (!!) and what was authentic change for the better.

      Well it is a long journey - what can I tell you?!!

    4. Randy,

      Most people believe they are having breakthroughs when for the moment they are and then before they know it they are right back to where they begin. It is only with change that lasts where the real breakthroughs come through. I have been changing my beliefs for the last 23 years and while some are the same and I still struggle with them, others are lasting. One thing I do know is change regardless of what it is takes time, courage and the extreme desire and want to do it for it to really be a breakthrough past your limit beliefs to something new and exciting.
      Becky

    5. Getting conscious about who you are and what you're doing in the world, not only to yourself, but to others, is part of the journey from birth to death. The continuum of waking up is the gift we give ourselves, but it takes a lot of work, consistency and discipline to stick with it. That's why so many fall back on their old habits and patterns. Going beyond the fears, doubts and anxieties is getting beyond the imaginary games the mind plays on you. Getting fearless is not the absence of fear, but the choices and decisions we make when fear shows up in our lives. That's where the breakthroughs happen.

    6. In order to change, I need to be honest with myself. What are my beliefs hiding?What am I afraid of?What do I imagine would happen?
      The mind is built to avoid pain and it is so clever that it will inflict pain to avoid a greater pain.
      For example, If someone stops eating junk food,then he/she needs to deal with the emotional baggage such as feeling rejected as a child. That feeling is stronger than the feeling of eating a healthy diet.
      So, yelling at someone you are fat,broke and dumb doesn't work. It doesn't deal with the root causes of the symptons.

    7. Hi Randy;

      What I found for myself is, that change is mirrored in the quality of my present experience. there is no tricking myself there.
      If my present reality is not altered, or something new comes into my life, then it's a sure indication that my belief system has not been changed.

      When limiting beliefs are re-programed life experiences are then alter to suit that new belief you attract new people, circumstances, money etc. I frequently stop and take a look at my present reality as an indicator of where my thoughts are, and where they should be or would like them to be.

      Regards
      Olga

    8. Dear Jacqueline, i liked ur saying "Getting fearless is not the absence of fear, but the choices and decisions we make when fear shows up". Can u plz tell what can one do when there is no choice left in life, and one is not able to create those choices?
      thanks

    9. Wow, Mr. Gage. I love this entry because I have really been focusing on this very subject. It's kind of the saying of what's holding you back is when you don't know what you don't know.

      Programs and beliefs can be so deep and so a part of our every day lives (approximately 50% of all our programming and belief systems are in place by the age of three) that, in my opinion, if we don't have someone such as yourself presenting situations, scenarios, and learning opportunities that will bring up those belief to the light, most of us don't even recognize them for what they are.

      As I read through your prosperity series recently, you presented examples of other people's beliefs that I related to, and how you brought them to the surface. Interesting watching people become defensive when their core beliefs became threatened.

      But it's at that point that someone can examine that belief and ask, 'is this belief still serving me? Or can I replace it with one that will better serve me?'

      Unless these core beliefs are questioned, many people continue to do the same thing over and over thinking they are improving themselves, and expect different results (ahh, the definition of insanity?). Then ask why did that not work?

      Real breakthroughs in which the core belief is identified, examined, and eventually replaced just don't occur that frequently.

      And going through that process can be never ending.

      So I'd like to ask, Mr. Gage, how would you suggest I go about presenting these ideas to myself?

      Or CAN I present the questions to myself? Are my core beliefs so deep that it requires outside assistance to unearth them?

      I know many, if not all, of my core beliefs, as you mention, hide in an attempt to stay right where they are. These beliefs will fight for their existence. I've seen it in action.

      What is your advice and input?

      Jhanna Dawson

    10. You need a new perspective. You have to give yourself a time to get into a positive mind set and you will see choices or ways to create new choices. As long as there is life, there are choices. When you let the negative take over, you just can't see it. But it's there. Keep looking and don't give up. Crazy, but this was on the inside of a Dove chocolate, "Success seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go."

    11. Randy:
      Great. It seems that the person who is addicted doesnt' see the addiction. One of most powerful hook of the mind is denial.
      I know it has taken me a long time to break the addiction between lack of money and spirituality.
      It seems that the addiction is protecting some kind of identity as a sufferer to justify been miserable.
      How was it for you?
      Thanks for sharing your negative patterns.

    12. I believe there are different levels of the "breakthroughs" we are talking about here, since we have different levels of beliefs and values.

      I think many of us make breakthroughs on the more surface stuff fairly regularly, but getting down deep to the "base level" and questioning our foundational beliefs and values is really difficult because that means we really have to change and that means real pain.

      I know I struggle with that - its easier to simply work on the
      "top layers" and make some honest changes that can be reflected in our daily lives by doing so, but if we can steel ourselves and spend some time down at the foundation, however painful it may be, the level of personal change and transformation can be so much greater.

    13. This is a valid post Randy.

      There is now a way to achieve a break through - quickly, deeply and thoroughly.

      This is amazing stuff and if you come to Florida we will teach it to you - Core Health - Comprehensive Kinesiology...

      I AM Blessings and Love

      Michael

    14. I thought about what you said about "knee-jerk reactions" to challenges to my belief system. The last 5 or 6 years have been interesting for me because I have been challenging a lot of my core beliefs about everything, not just my religion. I challenged what I was being taught in my former religion and even though it was difficult came to the belief that I was much better off not following my family's faith and discovering my own. It ended up alienating me from the vast majority of my family. My dad, a Pentecostal minister rarely speaks to me now for example. And it wasnt just my religious ideas that were challenged. How I raise my children, how I approach my intimate relationships, how I do my job... all of it got explored and looked at under a microscope so to speak. Mostly, I am still examining myself and my core beliefs about things. I attempt to remain open to changing anything about myself that gives me that knee-jerk reaction. If someone were to challenge me on why I believe that "Harm none" is the right way for me to go I am able to report that I don't feel defensive anymore but can instead look at it as a opportunity to explore that belief further in open discussion.
      As a result of that exploration I am happily finding that I seem to be more whole as a person. I have become less dependent on other people for my own identity in all areas of my life. Yes, I still need people around me and wont soon be wandering off to a mountain cave to "commune with the universe" however, how I see myself is less a reflection of other people and more who I want to be.

    15. Hi Olga,
      What a great comment. On occasion I stop and look at my present realty. I have found that this is so helpful and wonder why at the end of another day it is like I have taken two steps forward and one back. The operative word in your comment that I need to focus on is frequently. Then and only then will I keep the momentum going. Thank you!
      Warm regards, Julie

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