Success & Prosperity Blog

Changing Dysfunctional Patterns

By Randy Gage in Critical Thinking, Success, Prosperity.

Most of us fall prey to dysfunctional patterns at some point or another in our lives. We repeat negative relationships with different partners, move from one addiction to another, or simply hold onto limiting beliefs about our worthiness or abilities – that prevent us from achieving our best potential.

And until you break this negative cycle, it is destined to keep repeating itself.

The first step is an honest acknowledgment that you have a problem. Self-knowledge is the most important step in self-correction.

The next step is discovering the “why.” Meaning to discover what is causing you to take that behavior. This is a process of critical thinking and questioning premises you may hold dear. (Or not even know you have.)

Why do you feel unworthy and have an inferiority complex? Why do you subconsciously seek out partners that practice abusive behavior again? Why do you self-sabotage your own advancement?

There are reasons that cause you to act the way you do…

Did you have a person of influence that always told you that you weren’t good enough? Did you learn negative relationship behavior from your parents? Were you brainwashed by a religion to believe you are not meant to be happy on this existence? Discovering the cause of negative behavior is a huge step towards changing it to a better result.

Over the years you have developed core, foundational beliefs…

Beliefs such as money is bad, rich people are evil, or it’s spiritual to be poor. Or it could be beliefs like you have to be a bad parent to be successful, or your business has to exploit others to be profitable. And like causes of behavior, recognizing a limiting belief is the first step to changing it.

Once you discover a limiting belief – you can blow it up, and replace it with an empowering one!

So how you doing on that?


P.S. I’m definitely more of a writer than a video guy.  So I’m posting blogs here a lot more often.  If you haven’t signed up, enter your email in the “STAY CONNECTED” box to the right if you want to get an alert when I publish a new blog post for you.

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9 thoughts on “Changing Dysfunctional Patterns

  1. Bernice says:

    I am doing both blogs and vlogs. Writing gives you a lot to talk about. Short vlogs.

    Videos with transcripts are good.

    Different people learn different ways.

    It will also help me to speak it.

  2. Jane Champion says:

    While beliefs, assumptions and opinions are necessary to achnowledge and recognise so that we don’t keep chasing our tail and stay on lifes merry go round.yet many beliefs we have are unconscious so we do not have ready accesseto them. Perception is ‘everything’ and weoften make the miistake of thinking our perceptions are true, when in fact they are anything which means we do not create ‘reality; only experiences,. Each of us as far as I know has an unconscious organising principle which guides our behaviour, I say guides but in actuality it controls everything we say and do. When we can ‘see’ into our own uncionscious processing and come to know how we have interpreted and projected meaning on a perception that we thought of as truth then we have a chance of changing something at the ssource, the root from which it was created. Then we do not need to replace it with another belief as we have found the Truth and can jump out of conceptual relality which needs polarisation to energise it.
    I like your posts Randy more than your videos as I think the videos do not do you justice.

    1. Jane, your above comment seems rather esoteric but nothing definitive as to how to actually make the changes necessary. And what exactly is the “Truth”? Randy is very good at pointing out the obvious but not with stating the definitive steps necessary to correct the problems he sheds light on. Most people that I have met that have serious behavioral problems usually require months, if not years, of psychotherapy to determine exactly the cause and subsequent solution. I’m always interested in hearing how to reasonably, pragmatically, and logically eliminate detrimental behavioral problems. It is impossible for most humans to self-diagnose and correct mental problems and/or self-destructive behaviors.

      1. Randy Gage says:

        The issue you raise about some issues requiring psychotherapy is a very real one. In my case, I went through four year of counseling, which was extremely helpful for me. I don’t get into the area of suggesting when people need professional help, because obviously a layperson isn’t qualified to do that. However, I do believe that we are each much more capable of making profound, beneficial changes to our mindset and quality of life than most people believe. -RG

      2. Jane Champion says:

        Hi, I spent years in psychoanalysis because it had been a dream of mine to make my unconscious conscious a la Carl Jung who was my inspiration. It did not take me long to realise that I was reacting to a lot of what was going on, even in the silence. It was amasterclass in learning about what I was reacting to and to stop blaming anybody for what was happening in me. Gradually I began to pull back my projections, what was harder was to pull back projective identification. I began to gradually get to know myself and also began to realise i was a stranger to myself. This really was deep, intense stuff and maybe not for everyone who needs to keep their image intact or their present mindset in place. BUT during this period I had a major awakening on all levels and was shown my own inner processing and how I had interpretated and mde up a story about a perception I had had – this had governed my life and was behind every decision I made although I did not know it because it was unconscious.- it was here I learned what seemed to be the real truth of me, but was actually a story I had made up and I realised I wasn’t who I thought I was. I do not know if you have heard of Katie Byron who is a tremendous lady but not to everyones taste as she tends to break down peoples illusions, which most people want to hold onto as they think they are necessary for their survival. The first book I read of hers was a ‘Thousand names for Joy’, which is not what you might expect from the books title. Also Dain Heer is another very genuine person who doesn’t need to uphold his ego’s defences. I personally think noting my reactions was a major step in uncovering aspects of what was going on in me which was generating certain thoughts and patterns of behaviou. You have to be open minded and not jump to conclusions because your reactions are telling you a lot about yoursel and why you are thking, behaving and acting like you do. I went on to have many revelations after my awakening to a higher level of Being – while I was in survival mode I was always in the process of Becoming, which although it is useful keeps us in survival mode. During my awakening which was like a lightning flash I realised I was always becoming and had never Been. Gradually I transitioned from Becoming to Being which is still ongoing. I hope this explains a little, if you have any questions, please ask. Kind regards

      3. Jane Champion says:

        Fotnote to my post below. Not only did I have to deal with my personal unconscious but also the Collective unconscious which is a formidable energy and which we have all been indoctrinated into. I did manage to eventualls break out of the consensual reality which I had always supposed was the truth of things , this allowed me to see how I had been programmed and conditioned. Not many people want to know the Trruth with a capital T as it can be painful but at the same time very liberating

  3. Paul Truscott says:

    I find great value in both your written and spoken word. I have been on NLP courses to find my limiting beleifs, they seem pretty tough little things. Every day in every way as they say. Thank you for your posts be they verbal or written, they still inspire

  4. Bernice Alive says:

    Actually I do a lot of research to write then speak. I am sharing my latest on Locke vs Burke (I still need to keep reading Locke’s other work…. not for class.) This can really be life changing:

    John Locke and Edmund Burke are two theorists of change in the 17th and 18th centuries. Although they were born almost a century apart, both men display some amazing similarities in their lives. Each has written political theories that are still with us today, Locke through Liberalism and Burke through Conservatism. They share similar backgrounds in religion, location, education, and political party, but each has unique reflections on change which give us two opposing political ideologies that were, and still are, both loved and hated.

    Christianity influenced both men from birth. John Locke was born into a Christian Puritan home [6]. Edmund Burke was born into a mixed marriage between a Catholic mother and a Christian Protestant/Angelicin father. Each wrote about religion in their work [12].
    John Locke related his beliefs in his book, Second Treatise of Government.

    In Chapter 1, John Locke completely goes against traditional Judeo-Christian beliefs when he states:
    (1). That Adam had not, either by natural right of fatherhood, or by positive donation from God, any such authority over his children, or dominion over the world, as is pretended:
    (2). That if he had, his heirs, yet, had no right to it:
    (3). That if his heirs had, there being no law of nature nor positive law of God that determines which is the right heir in all cases that may arise, the right of succession, and consequently of bearing rule, could not have been certainly determined:
    (4). That if even that had been determined, yet the knowledge of which is the eldest line of Adam’s posterity, being so long since utterly lost, that in the races of mankind and families of the world, there remains not to one above another, the least pretence to be the eldest house, and to have the right of inheritance:
    All these premises having, as I think, been clearly made out, it is impossible that the rulers now on earth should make any benefit, or derive any the least shadow of authority from that, which is held to be the fountain of all power, Adam’s private dominion and paternal jurisdiction; [1]

    The Bible gives rights to the Jews. They claim the Jews are God’s chosen people. Kings claimed divine right because they were descendants of Adam. Even though we have separated religion and government in the United States, religion still exists. People in government are still religious. People in the US are still religious. We, the people, still need to take back our power. [11]
    This idea, that Adam and his heirs are not superior over others, is an important realization. This is the beginning of Enlightenment. Many still need to be enlightened.

    As Lucius Annaeus Seneca said:
    “Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful.”

    We have forgotten that Ancient Egypt had equal rights and no slavery. They lost their rights after Alexander the Great died. Locke is not the first have these libertarian ideas.
    Christianity seems to have some enlightened people, who probably leave the religion, while others are still in the dark.
    Edmund Burke shared his beliefs throughout his work which is in the book, The Portable Edmund Burke. Fear may have influenced Burke’s beliefs. Burke was Irish and had Catholic family members but he lived in England and was a Christian which made him an outsider to both groups. He also may have had to be careful of what he said in his support of Catholics. He may have been forced to be conservative because of his background. There is a history of rulers using religion and noblemen’s greed to rule over others.

    We are still being influenced by both liberals and conservatives today. In the U.S. we continue to alternate back and forth between political parties reacting to the previous party in the Presidency. It has taken us several centuries to take back our rights. We are not completely equal.

    “Perhaps the most damning condemnation of both major political parties and the
    U.S. political system is the treatment of African Americans.” [3]

    Slaves and Minorities have been treated unfairly. Women’s Rights is another example of Equality issues in America. Burke’s influence on the American Revolution and American’s rights slowed down our freedom and power. Religion remained in both of their plans, Locke through a separation of church and state with religious toleration and Burke through a combination of church and state. The US initially gave some rights to some people. Even though there have been amendments to change the legal voting rights of adult citizens in the U.S., inequality remains an issue. Church and State are separated but they do not agree on equality and beliefs.

    Locke and Burke wrote about their religion and political ideologies, the way each evolved in their theories was distinct and seemed to be told for very different purposes.

    (see my site for references)


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