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Being Wrong

Posted By: Randy GageJuly 22, 2009

So what does it take to admit you’re wrong?  And how often do you do that?

As I look back on my life thus far, I notice an interesting scenario.  I used to be NEVER wrong.  And I could win every argument to justify why I was right.  (Of course that may come from the fact that I am a great debater and think well on my feet.)  Coincidentally, I was very insecure and had very low self-esteem.

A funny thing happened…

As I grew my self-esteem, I noticed that I sometimes was wrong.  And had no trouble admitting to it, and apologizing when appropriate.  What a coincidence!

Any lessons there for you?

-RG

23 comments on “Being Wrong”

  1. Yeah I used to always be right and could not see how I could be wrong. But as I have grown, I have come to realise that we all see things from our own prospective and just because what I see and believe differs from others does not mean that they are wrong, just different and I have learnt that sometimes my view may benefit from listening and changing my stance on things and now I can say yes my view was wrong and I appreciate you showing me another side and allowing me to see where I was wrong. I believe that if we all realised that everyone is right in their own eyes and not take offence then the world would be a much happier and safer place, I also believe that this time is coming you can feel the shift in how people are starting to respect other peoples beliefs and truths even if they do not take them on. Saying that we have a long long way to go, but years ago when I would mention anything about self-help or crystal healing or any alternative healing people would physically step away from me. Know I am the one doing the stepping back as people rush to find out more. Anyway thats how I see the world moving today. Will be interested to hear what others say. Sorry Randy got a bit off topic sort of.

    Love and Light
    Colleen The Crystal Dragon

  2. I agree completely (hmm, is there a bit of irony in that statement?) 🙂

    Actually, that was a huge problem for me and - really - I think it's another of those things about which I need to continually stay conscious and aware.

    While I do think I was always very quick to apologize when I believed I was wrong, I also believe those times were far too rare.

    I guess the older I get the more I know how much I don't know.

    Thank you for another excellent post.

  3. Great post, Randy, and I have to agree that the times I have been reluctant to admit being wrong strongly correlate with my level of self esteem. Inversely, of course.
    I think that not having to be right is one of the greatest gifts I have given myself - and everyone around me!
    Something Ken Wilber said really helped -- that the key he discovered to organizing all the conflicting material in his research was to quit trying to figure out who was right. He decided to instead proceed from the viewpoint that "everybody is right, about something" and when he looked for agreement it changed everything. This idea brings harmony out of discord every time I remember to employ it.

  4. I say you just got lazy, and stopped being a good debater!

    - and don't even TRY to tell me I'm wrong!

    Ok,ok.... for me, I notice that I am MUCH more ok with being wrong now, but I think it's from just getting older and realizing that more and more of what I thought was right was wrong.

    Like that long sentence!

  5. I'm admit many time I don't a mistake but my egos always block me to said Yes I'm wrong ! in instantly but when I can get a fact from my self debats...I will yes I'm wrong and I'm really..really sorry...even to my own self I will asking for apologise..
    Many time we done a mistake.. but we must learn from a mistaked...learn and learn because we not perfect!

  6. I'm admit many time I done a mistake but my egos always block me to said Yes I'm wrong ! in instantly but when I can get a fact from my self debats...I will yes I'm wrong and I'm really..really sorry...even to my own self I will asking for apologise..
    Many time we done a mistake.. but we must learn from a mistaked...learn and learn because we not perfect!

  7. I need to work on clarifying why I am wrong without sounding like I'm making excuses, trying to protect my dignity. I often feel like if I admit being wrong too often, I will be taken advantage of. So for me, admitting I'm wrong is directly related to my self-esteem. Thank you Randy for helping me through that!

  8. For me I don't want to assume I know what Randy means when he says he is now able to admit when he is wrong. I think the word deserves a little exploring and for me I will give some examples of what I feel are clearly wrong on the physical plane since metaphysically that is a whole topic of its own.

    For me clear examples of wrong:

    Harming another (does not include self defense) and yes this includes verbal abuse.
    Stealing
    There are some more but you get the idea

    Now if I do one of these things, in most cases I will have the help of others in saying I was wrong. The others of our legal system.

    Now if I say I met Randy Gage and he is the nicest 5'6" author, speaker, businessman you could hope to meet. Somebody is going to say I was wrong. Because if you ever met Randy you would know he is certainly not 5'6". Assuming I am a normal coherent human I would say I stand corrected you are correct.

    It seems to me that generally we are talking about here are certain points of view that we have that maybe someone else points out are not completely accurate. For instance there once was agreement the world was flat.

    Now I have been in the place that I was so sure that I was correct with what I was saying that I was oblivious to information that was right in front of my face (usually coming out of somebody's mouth) that I was incorrect. I feel I am much more receptive to the views of others and certainly acknowledge facts that show my views should change.

    This one still happens: I do find myself getting emotionally involved in some conversations. Yes it is true that I have at times raised my voice and yelled. Honestly I do that very infrequently now but it can happen. When that happens I do say I am sorry, for at least raising my voice. I can refer to someone as an idiot without raising my voice.

    With all situations, I am asking myself what am I doing or what have I thought about in the past to create this situation? Of course I rarely know. But this I do know, I am very aware of what I am thinking about most of the time because our current thoughts are creating our future.

    Loved this post Randy.
    Thank you

    Steve Pohlit

  9. Thanks for sharing...One of the most important lessons of my journey to date.

    Love You My Friend... Thanks for keeping people thinking... If they all new you the way I do there would be no debate....

    I APPRECIATE YOU!

    DOING LIFE........

    Ivan

  10. Yes, when you know you are great, you don't have to prove you are.
    But when you don't know it, you know what do I want to say...

  11. Dear Randy,
    for a long time you have been contributing to the faster development of thinking, loving, self-aware, self-confident people and you are making a great company for yourself and when these people are in contact with others, you indirectly help making this world a much better place. By revealing your most inner thoughts and addmitting your mistakes you help this elite company of yours learn with a speed of lightning. There are still miles to go... but as long as the caravan is moving it has good prospects to cross the desert, right? I'm ever so proud to be in it. Thank you!
    Love U all,
    Natasa

  12. Over the years, I`ve learned that being always right, and having the right answer, doesn`t necessarily get me to a better place. Finding out that I was wrong can be very rewarding!

    I may have an opinion as to what`s right about something, and feel very strongly about any conflicting opinion presented to me. And I did this with great debating talent when I was young. Today I realize that this does not improve my perception of reality, and neither does it improve my communication skills and my relationships 🙂
    If I make the effort to put aside what I`m sure is right, and just "listen" to the other opinion with a "tabula rasa" state of mind, asking questions for clarification as I get to points that are most difficult for me to accept - I find that new horizons open up for me, and my entire experience becomes richer, both conceptually and in terms of the relationship.

    I don`t always change my mind about what I think, although many times I do, but one very important thing always happens...
    I become clear on all the possible ways of viewing a certain reality, interpreting it, and drawing logical conclusions that may differ considerably from mine. I also get an opportunity to understand the logic behind other points of view, and respect them, even if I ultimately don`t accept them. And quite often, I do moderate my own perception.

    Sometimes it just feels great to say "I`m sorry....you are making a valid point...and I was wrong". It diffuses a great deal of tension for everyone involved.

  13. Robert Kiyosaki says, "Either you can be right, or you can be rich."

    I agree.

    And I silently repeat that saying whenever I feel aggravated that someone does not agree with my choices in life.

  14. I totally follow you Randy!

    When I was young, I was never wrong either (officially anyway 😉

    Because of my way with words, I would win any argument - right or wrong.
    I made a sport of it :-0)

    Until, luckily for me - one day I realized that always being right (or wanting to) shuts out all the great input from others - and then how will you learn & evolve in your life ?

    I have put a link here to a great article about the subject (its a bit biblical but not necessarily only so 😉

    Tina
    - who learned to listen and;
    ThinkInNewAreas 😉

  15. Hm if more people would sometimes understand and say they are wrong when they are, there probably would be no wars oN this lovely planet. World Id say could learn lot from japan. I have recently been there. Hei it's alll different world. Happy days to everyone

  16. WRONG? are you nuts? i am never wrong... LOL... oh wait that was sopmeone else i was thinking of. me... i am wrong most of the time... well at the very least 49% of the time its the 51% that i am right, or (more correct than not) that i keep a secret so people dont think i know what i am doing... oh great now the cats out of the bag.... is their truth serum in this blog?

    for me admiting i am wrong has not been an issue since i was a wee boy. i have never been so concerned about being right or wrong... although i do HATE IT when people around me second guess every thing i do, say, and the course of action i think is neccessary... that is the one i have a difficult time with.

    being wrong is not such a big deal, i dont think its because i have matured, and most of my friends would agree... lol... i am pretty immature when i dont need to be... (shit you made me give away two secrets now) there has to be truth serum in this blog. i do know what you mean though... when we can learn to leg go of ego, and not worry so much about what others think of us being wrong is not such a big deal any more....

    now sharing, lets talk about that later.... (running after my spiderman slurpee glass now, the neighbor grabbed it and ran out the door... gotta go)

    peace out, great post...

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  • 23 comments on “Being Wrong”

    1. Yeah I used to always be right and could not see how I could be wrong. But as I have grown, I have come to realise that we all see things from our own prospective and just because what I see and believe differs from others does not mean that they are wrong, just different and I have learnt that sometimes my view may benefit from listening and changing my stance on things and now I can say yes my view was wrong and I appreciate you showing me another side and allowing me to see where I was wrong. I believe that if we all realised that everyone is right in their own eyes and not take offence then the world would be a much happier and safer place, I also believe that this time is coming you can feel the shift in how people are starting to respect other peoples beliefs and truths even if they do not take them on. Saying that we have a long long way to go, but years ago when I would mention anything about self-help or crystal healing or any alternative healing people would physically step away from me. Know I am the one doing the stepping back as people rush to find out more. Anyway thats how I see the world moving today. Will be interested to hear what others say. Sorry Randy got a bit off topic sort of.

      Love and Light
      Colleen The Crystal Dragon

    2. I agree completely (hmm, is there a bit of irony in that statement?) 🙂

      Actually, that was a huge problem for me and - really - I think it's another of those things about which I need to continually stay conscious and aware.

      While I do think I was always very quick to apologize when I believed I was wrong, I also believe those times were far too rare.

      I guess the older I get the more I know how much I don't know.

      Thank you for another excellent post.

    3. Great post, Randy, and I have to agree that the times I have been reluctant to admit being wrong strongly correlate with my level of self esteem. Inversely, of course.
      I think that not having to be right is one of the greatest gifts I have given myself - and everyone around me!
      Something Ken Wilber said really helped -- that the key he discovered to organizing all the conflicting material in his research was to quit trying to figure out who was right. He decided to instead proceed from the viewpoint that "everybody is right, about something" and when he looked for agreement it changed everything. This idea brings harmony out of discord every time I remember to employ it.

    4. I say you just got lazy, and stopped being a good debater!

      - and don't even TRY to tell me I'm wrong!

      Ok,ok.... for me, I notice that I am MUCH more ok with being wrong now, but I think it's from just getting older and realizing that more and more of what I thought was right was wrong.

      Like that long sentence!

    5. I'm admit many time I don't a mistake but my egos always block me to said Yes I'm wrong ! in instantly but when I can get a fact from my self debats...I will yes I'm wrong and I'm really..really sorry...even to my own self I will asking for apologise..
      Many time we done a mistake.. but we must learn from a mistaked...learn and learn because we not perfect!

    6. I'm admit many time I done a mistake but my egos always block me to said Yes I'm wrong ! in instantly but when I can get a fact from my self debats...I will yes I'm wrong and I'm really..really sorry...even to my own self I will asking for apologise..
      Many time we done a mistake.. but we must learn from a mistaked...learn and learn because we not perfect!

    7. I need to work on clarifying why I am wrong without sounding like I'm making excuses, trying to protect my dignity. I often feel like if I admit being wrong too often, I will be taken advantage of. So for me, admitting I'm wrong is directly related to my self-esteem. Thank you Randy for helping me through that!

    8. For me I don't want to assume I know what Randy means when he says he is now able to admit when he is wrong. I think the word deserves a little exploring and for me I will give some examples of what I feel are clearly wrong on the physical plane since metaphysically that is a whole topic of its own.

      For me clear examples of wrong:

      Harming another (does not include self defense) and yes this includes verbal abuse.
      Stealing
      There are some more but you get the idea

      Now if I do one of these things, in most cases I will have the help of others in saying I was wrong. The others of our legal system.

      Now if I say I met Randy Gage and he is the nicest 5'6" author, speaker, businessman you could hope to meet. Somebody is going to say I was wrong. Because if you ever met Randy you would know he is certainly not 5'6". Assuming I am a normal coherent human I would say I stand corrected you are correct.

      It seems to me that generally we are talking about here are certain points of view that we have that maybe someone else points out are not completely accurate. For instance there once was agreement the world was flat.

      Now I have been in the place that I was so sure that I was correct with what I was saying that I was oblivious to information that was right in front of my face (usually coming out of somebody's mouth) that I was incorrect. I feel I am much more receptive to the views of others and certainly acknowledge facts that show my views should change.

      This one still happens: I do find myself getting emotionally involved in some conversations. Yes it is true that I have at times raised my voice and yelled. Honestly I do that very infrequently now but it can happen. When that happens I do say I am sorry, for at least raising my voice. I can refer to someone as an idiot without raising my voice.

      With all situations, I am asking myself what am I doing or what have I thought about in the past to create this situation? Of course I rarely know. But this I do know, I am very aware of what I am thinking about most of the time because our current thoughts are creating our future.

      Loved this post Randy.
      Thank you

      Steve Pohlit

    9. Thanks for sharing...One of the most important lessons of my journey to date.

      Love You My Friend... Thanks for keeping people thinking... If they all new you the way I do there would be no debate....

      I APPRECIATE YOU!

      DOING LIFE........

      Ivan

    10. Yes, when you know you are great, you don't have to prove you are.
      But when you don't know it, you know what do I want to say...

    11. Dear Randy,
      for a long time you have been contributing to the faster development of thinking, loving, self-aware, self-confident people and you are making a great company for yourself and when these people are in contact with others, you indirectly help making this world a much better place. By revealing your most inner thoughts and addmitting your mistakes you help this elite company of yours learn with a speed of lightning. There are still miles to go... but as long as the caravan is moving it has good prospects to cross the desert, right? I'm ever so proud to be in it. Thank you!
      Love U all,
      Natasa

    12. Over the years, I`ve learned that being always right, and having the right answer, doesn`t necessarily get me to a better place. Finding out that I was wrong can be very rewarding!

      I may have an opinion as to what`s right about something, and feel very strongly about any conflicting opinion presented to me. And I did this with great debating talent when I was young. Today I realize that this does not improve my perception of reality, and neither does it improve my communication skills and my relationships 🙂
      If I make the effort to put aside what I`m sure is right, and just "listen" to the other opinion with a "tabula rasa" state of mind, asking questions for clarification as I get to points that are most difficult for me to accept - I find that new horizons open up for me, and my entire experience becomes richer, both conceptually and in terms of the relationship.

      I don`t always change my mind about what I think, although many times I do, but one very important thing always happens...
      I become clear on all the possible ways of viewing a certain reality, interpreting it, and drawing logical conclusions that may differ considerably from mine. I also get an opportunity to understand the logic behind other points of view, and respect them, even if I ultimately don`t accept them. And quite often, I do moderate my own perception.

      Sometimes it just feels great to say "I`m sorry....you are making a valid point...and I was wrong". It diffuses a great deal of tension for everyone involved.

    13. Robert Kiyosaki says, "Either you can be right, or you can be rich."

      I agree.

      And I silently repeat that saying whenever I feel aggravated that someone does not agree with my choices in life.

    14. I totally follow you Randy!

      When I was young, I was never wrong either (officially anyway 😉

      Because of my way with words, I would win any argument - right or wrong.
      I made a sport of it :-0)

      Until, luckily for me - one day I realized that always being right (or wanting to) shuts out all the great input from others - and then how will you learn & evolve in your life ?

      I have put a link here to a great article about the subject (its a bit biblical but not necessarily only so 😉

      Tina
      - who learned to listen and;
      ThinkInNewAreas 😉

    15. Hm if more people would sometimes understand and say they are wrong when they are, there probably would be no wars oN this lovely planet. World Id say could learn lot from japan. I have recently been there. Hei it's alll different world. Happy days to everyone

    16. WRONG? are you nuts? i am never wrong... LOL... oh wait that was sopmeone else i was thinking of. me... i am wrong most of the time... well at the very least 49% of the time its the 51% that i am right, or (more correct than not) that i keep a secret so people dont think i know what i am doing... oh great now the cats out of the bag.... is their truth serum in this blog?

      for me admiting i am wrong has not been an issue since i was a wee boy. i have never been so concerned about being right or wrong... although i do HATE IT when people around me second guess every thing i do, say, and the course of action i think is neccessary... that is the one i have a difficult time with.

      being wrong is not such a big deal, i dont think its because i have matured, and most of my friends would agree... lol... i am pretty immature when i dont need to be... (shit you made me give away two secrets now) there has to be truth serum in this blog. i do know what you mean though... when we can learn to leg go of ego, and not worry so much about what others think of us being wrong is not such a big deal any more....

      now sharing, lets talk about that later.... (running after my spiderman slurpee glass now, the neighbor grabbed it and ran out the door... gotta go)

      peace out, great post...

    Leave a Reply to Rob Cancel reply

    Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


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