One of the guys I play softball with is a great ballplayer. His young son is developing to be very good too, and he brings him to practice. You can tell the son idolizes his father and wants to be like him. And you can tell the father loves his son and is proud of the way he’s developing.
So what’s the problem?
When the kid misses a play, the father screams things like, “Get in front of the ball or I’m going to kick your ass!” And his terms of endearment are to call him things like, “you big dummy.”
If you remember, we started this whole discussion last week by asking how much of what you do each day is reasoned and thought about, versus kneejerk reaction because of programming you have. And this is really an issue for parenting...
I honestly think my friend loves his son and wants to be a good parent. And I also think his definition of parenting is dramatically influenced by the programming he is infected with, which was greatly determined by how his father raised him.
If you are a parent, do you have strong, preset beliefs on how children should be raised? Have you ever given much thought to where and how you developed those beliefs? And how many of them did you adopt automatically from the examples of your parents?
How do you feel and act when those beliefs are challenged?
Please give that some thought, and share your thoughts below.
Also, here’s a great resource to check out, a new book by Bruce Beaton titled, Little Athletes, Big Leaders. Bruce was a professional football star and has some great insights on working with young kids in a positive way.