Success & Prosperity Blog

The Power of Self Esteem

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By Randy Gage in Critical Thinking, Prosperity, Success.

“You really don’t care what people think about you,” one of my Mastermind members practically shrieked one day.

“True.  So what?” I responded.

“No, I mean you really don’t care!”

Guilty as charged.  Now I would be lying if I told you it was always that way.  In fact, quite the opposite.

Now I could regale you with stories from my childhood and analyze where my insecurities came from – but what’s the point?  Existence exists.  Things are what they are.  Or as I have been known to tell people in my seminars, “If I find your inner child, I’m going to kick his little ass!”

Yes, it’s a fascinating story about when your mother tried to bronze your baby boots while you were still wearing them.  Likewise for the time your father taught you to swim by rowing you out to the middle of the lake and throwing you overboard.  And by the time you cut your way out of the sack he was gone.

At some point, you have to let it go.

Move on with your life.  You have to be willing to give up your victim mentality and go past that, for that is where the real breakthroughs are.

Once you have strong self-esteem, you really don’t care what others think of you.  You really get that the responsibility is theirs, and has nothing to do with you.  You make decisions based on what is the right thing to do, and you’re not influenced by what others will think of you.

When you get comfortable in your own skin, that’s when life really gets good.  So how you doing on that?

-RG

 

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42 comments
Multinivel
Multinivel

It isn´t just important but super necessary. And Love as well

asktheexpertsinterviews
asktheexpertsinterviews

Self esteem is a tricky thing. It seems elusive and the more you try to chase it, the harder it is to get. You have the key to true self-esteem in your hands. However, most people don’t know how to harness it or they look to the wrong sources to bolster their self esteem like their friends, parents,coworkers or spouse...

chek here: http://www.clarendonconsulting.com/self-esteem/

Lynda
Lynda

Winning mindset is really a big miracle, some people just wish or say something they want and they already believe they have it, moreover they even act like they have it. Wish I could implement it too.

seoe xpert india
seoe xpert india

Feeling win can make you win,, is a post written by me,, when you feel positive from inside your self esteem automatically boosted. This thing will make you win. To come in google top 10, you have to compete many competitors and only your positive energy with best seo expert can get you on the top.

Sergio Carvallo-Negocios Multinivel
Sergio Carvallo-Negocios Multinivel

That's right randy, I'm like with your last phrase, for me, it doesnt matter what people think in base I do what my principles and values says...North and Goaols are very clear

Marina Torres
Marina Torres

For me, is to stop seeing others as a cause, an obstacle that we can do our things !!!... I realized that there is time for everything, even to relax !!!... Thanks for letting Randy express ourselves.

Michele
Michele

Question: Can self esteem be acquired as an adult, if one wasn't blessed with it as a child? People have envied my self esteem, and ask how they can get themselves some. But I was raised that way! I can't imagine trying to learn these concepts and deeply instill them as a way of life as an adult--especially if one was steeped in guilt or abuse as a child. But I'd love to be able to help people find the freedom that comes with self esteem! Any suggestions how to teach that?

Missy
Missy

I spit my drink out when I read that! Hilarious, refreshing, true.

carolyn
carolyn

Randy- I just think you are fantastic. How you like them apples?!!! Honestly, I am really happy you are on the planet. Your books blow me away. Cannot wait to meet you live. Thanks for all these little yummy blogs. They are just the right amount of "just what I needed to hear"- Carolyn

Edward Devero
Edward Devero

Great video on Youtube about the movie script.
I am trying to reprogram my subconscious mind and I recently had a revelation. I was always wondering how to do it. Well, here is my answer: But before I get to it I wanted to mention that your existing behaviour now is a result of your sub-conscious mind. So, change your behaviour and thoughts consciously and they will work their way into replacing those limiting beliefs and not-so-optimal thought patterns.

Pierre Leyssac
Pierre Leyssac

Got it!

Self esteem brings and end to this preoccupation in reflecting others and them of you. This is so much where I've been - end of story.

Love and Respect - Pierre Leyssac, cph

JWTam
JWTam

I wanted to thank you Randy, this was a needed reminder that helped me push through some c
omfort zones yesterday and come out feeling positive.

Laur A. Bundberg
Laur A. Bundberg

I have been thinking about this topic and found a conclusion: I have to care of people regardless of what they think about me. Caring is more important than the success of my business. I believe this shows the strenght of self-esteem even more.

Justin | Mazzastick
Justin | Mazzastick

Getting 100% comfortable in my skin is an ongoing process but you are so true that real living will happen once we learn to do that.

ken
ken

Randy,

Can you give some tips to make our self esteem stronger ?

Carmen
Carmen

This brings up something interesting for me. My mother and sister have always subscribed to healing physical ailments by addressing unhealed emotional issues. I've been to a couple of their recommended practitioners of this sort. On one hand I believe that there is an emotional connection to illness but I don't believe that digging up old issues, (and crying in the process), in an attempt to heal them does any good. It never has for me. Crying certainly releases some feel-good hormones, but I've never noticed any long-term benefit from this process. To me it does feel more like a trip down victim-hood lane. Did my Dad trying to strangle me when I was 18 have anything to do with my lung problems today? Who really knows? I'm sure that like everyone, I could find a few more examples like this. I would rather put it in the past where it belongs. My take is that if I'm not focusing on it in the present and therefore not giving it any additional energy, it doesn't affect me in the now.

My question to you Randy, is have you ever found an emotional healing process that looks at the past to be effective?

Gina
Gina

Well I don’t care what is said about me as long as it isn’t true.;)Last week I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap. Then yesterday I told my psychiatrist, “I keep thinking about suicide.” He told me from now on I have to pay in advance. ;)

Gina
Gina

Well I don't care what is said about me as long as it isn't true.;)Last week I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap. Then yesterday I told my psychiatrist, "I keep thinking about suicide." He told me from now on I have to pay in advance. ;)

Josefine
Josefine

That made me think. We always expect the experts to be perfect.
During a training session I stated that my desire is stronger than my personality. I am an analytical person and talking to people is out of my comfort zone. But to succeed I need to face that challenge.
Am I always strong enough to hold that statement to be true? No, of course not. I am still a human. But I know what to do to get me back on track again.
Do people judge me on this? You bet. I believe if I at least walk my talk to 80% .. I am ok. That's part of the 80-20 rule.
When I am strong I don't care what other think, and my self-esteem is up and running. Imagine that being a habit ... nothing can stop me. :)

Desiree
Desiree

I just thought of one more thing...if someone sees something about us that is good or bad...our seeing this opinion is really only ourselves seeing another side of our own opinion. If we couldn't see the same view...we wouldn't see it at all. Therefore, others opinions are just showing us a different side and it's up to us which sides we want to own and which ones to toss away.

When we see each others good, it brings more awareness to that side of them and helps to uncover it more. Same thing with the bad...if you see a tiny claw sticking out from someones coat, better not call them on it unless you want to get scratched!

Desiree
Desiree

Yet we live in a social world and what we do affects others. I only care in that way.

If my actions are harming someone I want to know about it so that I can assess if it is something I need to change or if it really is their problem not mine.

Half of morality is based on cultural code rather than True morality anyway. The word fuck is an example. It's offensive only because we put that on it.

Being a little bit sensitive to others is a way of showing respect. But being overly sensitive so that others feel comfortable or approve isn't good either.

I think it's about knowing where the line is.

Lynn Huber
Lynn Huber

Most of the time I'm doing pretty good with that now. But when you find my inner child, I hope you kick her ass! She needs it! :)

suzanne
suzanne

Hi Randy,

Now I do not care what others think of me as long as my conscience is clear. It has taken me a long time to wake up. However, it does not mean I am not teachable especially workwise learning from eg. your goodself.
I know without doubt that Jesus has His best interest in me and this settles everything. I just continue to serve my clients, humanity and enjoy my life.

Ain't it great!

Elizaveta
Elizaveta

Russian have a good proverb: "Over each mouth you will not throw a scarf."

Jacaré
Jacaré

That´s funny I´m pretty sure I´ve you posted exactly the same text one or two months ago^^ Nevertheless it´s still the truth. I see this every day, nothing is influencing the poeple more then the public opinion. "What will the neighbours say?" "You can´t do this what will other people think of you?"
Well I don´t care what others think of me when it comes to my way of doing the things I do...

Jason Eichacker
Jason Eichacker

You've hit on a great point here, how the value of others' opinions is irrelevant. I continue to grow in this area, which makes me feel more aggressive in following the path I was made to and less encumbered by my past.

Though I think I might be reading a little more into it, I would caution people to avoid discounting the process of figuring out what experiences created your worldview. That victim mentality could continue to be an anchor if you have "unresolved junk" tucked away back there, in my experience. (Though, to be fair, my mind is always looking for causes that link to results, whether reading through history books or understanding relationships.)

Rachel Henke
Rachel Henke

This is great! “If I find your inner child, I’m going to kick his little ass!”

Gonna borrow ;)

Hilary
Hilary

Becoming immune to other peoples judgement is sooo powerful. Hardly a day passes here in Geneva without someone arriving late for a meeting seething at the fact he couldn't find a parking spot for his Bentley or Porsche or Maserati despite the fact he left an hour home an hour before and only lives 5 miles away.
I am always in time for meetings, love being fit and am so proud of locking my bike to the closest lamp post to the hotel or meeting place. I used to park my bike far from the hotel and hope no one saw me but having understood the importance of not trying to please other people, now I park right opposite the front door.
The only disadvantage is I cant wear Laboutin shoes on the bike but thats quite OK. I am not out to show off my red soles but happy that my soul is intact and not dependant on other peoples opinion of me. Being free is such a huge part of prosperity. Amassing money to impress people is a sorry state of affairs. Freedom is priceless.

Gordon Noice
Gordon Noice

Just changed my inner child's diaper. He said, "Tanks, Wandy!"

rene
rene

For a long time I thought I understood what you meant. Now I believe I do. But hey, if you think I don't....I don't give a hoot!!!

Anonymous
Anonymous

Yes, now is over. I feel perfect! And I do, what I want to do, even when somebody don´t want me to do. With feeling love and joy I will do it again and again.
Marketa

Edward Devero
Edward Devero

Looking back through my life I remember I was most popular when I didn't care what others thought of me and I was just myself. You know, when you're not looking for approval or trying to fit in with whatever group there is nearby. People are attracted most to those who like themselves.

Christie Ellis
Christie Ellis

I understand having self esteem and being a strong person but I also think that we have to keep our attitudes in check. If someone doesn't like you maybe finding out why would help you be sure you haven't overstepped from confident to arrogant. Granted there are more times than not they don't like you because of jealousy, but maybe you were inadvertently rude or hurtful. I think in those situations you need to evaluate why you are being disliked and maybe there is a valid reason.

deborah
deborah

what other people think about me is none of my business

deborah
deborah

What other people think about me, is none of my business

Randy Gage
Randy Gage

I have done both rolfing and soma therapy. Many people find that the work helps release pent up emotions trapped in the muscles from previous trauma. Must admit I did not experience anything like that overtly anyway.

-RG

Deyan Dachev
Deyan Dachev

That's just great for you man .
I think that I dont care what other people
think about me but I have to say that this is
wrong . Not about evrything but I am realy
doing some things just to not be thought of
weirdo or something like that . Reading
your post gives me inspiration to be more
of MYSELF of that what I realy want to do.
Thank you :]

ken
ken

Thanks !!

 

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