Success & Prosperity Blog

The Decision…

By Randy Gage in Critical Thinking, Success, Prosperity.

Everyone has their inner circle.  These are the people you influence and who influence you.  You share the same passions, relationships and space.   And probably, limiting beliefs…

If you’re like most people, you’ve surrounded yourself with people who give you permission to stay where you are. 

The people who go from ordinary to world class, broke to balling, slum dog to millionaire always face “the decision.”  Probably the single most difficult decision anyone ever makes on the journey to success:

The decision to change some of the people closest to you.  

Of course some of you are wondering why we can’t take these people with us; go on the journey to enlightenment together.  We would love to.  Unfortunately, that isn’t the way it works out.   The odds are simply against you in this regard.

For every person seeking greatness, there are hundreds more charged with safeguarding mediocrity.  And hundreds more actively invested in remaining a victim.

Some people you will decide you to limit your exposure to.  Some, you may have to eliminate from your life completely.  (Such as when you give up an addiction and have people you used to drug with.)

Some of this will be made easier, because the people will eliminate you from their lives.   My former partners in victim-hood don’t like me any longer.   The people I used to get stoned with have lost interest in me too:

“He’s changed.  He’s not like he used to be.”  Exactly.

Certainly love everybody and bring everyone on the upward journey that wants to come with you.  But know there are some that aren’t ready to come just now, others who will never be ready to come, and yet others who will try to drag you back.

It seems like you’re making a decision on who’s in your life and who’s not.  But that isn’t really the decision.  The real decision is deciding between the life you have, versus the one you are really meant to live.

-RG

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43 thoughts on “The Decision…

  1. I think it is not just one choice.
    It is the choices we make every day: Love or fear.
    Choose love.
    Choose God.
    Choose prosperity.
     
    It is lifelong choices to make…
    Daily… every moment.
    To be thankful every day, every moment, etc
     
    I am Choosing love. Choosing God. Choosing Prosperity.
    Accepting God’s Grace… Abundance, Love, etc.
     
    And I am not perfect…
    so even though I choose one path, love, I will still have fears…
    and maybe they get less & less over time…
    and I change my reactions to fear…
     
    And it is choosing not to be like the majority….
     
    ” Do not conform to the pattern of this world,
    but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
    Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—
    his good, pleasing and perfect will.”
    –Romans 12:2

  2. Brian Walter says:

    Yes…this is a hard but powerful concept.  I am thinking on it in terms of moving forward with my business.  It’s not a negative thing, but a positive one.  I need to be trafficking with people who will be pushing me forward not being content to stay where things are, even though they are good.  Gulp.

  3. Brian Walter says:

    Yes…this is a hard but powerful concept.  I am thinking on it in terms of moving forward with my business.  It’s not a negative thing, but a positive one.  I need to be trafficking with people who will be pushing me forward not being content to stay where things are, even though they are good.  Gulp.

  4. Letting go of people is the Hardest yet GREATEST thing in life…

    1. ThomasMrak says:

      @CarlyAlyssaThorne It’s hard when it’s family. Neither of my parents ever took personal responsibility for anything in their lives, and always blamed others. They’ve never been supportive, and have done their best to limit  me and my brother, while blaming us for not accomplishing things.It’s easier to succeed with support.They have a huge sense of entitlement and believe that people should be obeyed, and never questioned.They worked Union jobs as well, so they were shielded from the reality of actually having to improve that most employees live in.I’ve never known a pair of greedier, more self-centered people in my life, and I’ve known all sorts of people.It’s why, baring a death in the family or a huge crisis, we don’t talk much. They had the resources to help their children succeed, but their sense of entitlement and jealousy prevented that from happening.

      1. @ThomasMrak We all have choices… We can divorce family members as easily as a Spouses if we are willing to live with the decision.  I know all about TOXIC family… And One day Made a Choice… To divorce certain family members out of my life… We can only do so much and if it is causing that much damage… time to move on…

        1. ThomasMrak says:

          @CarlyAlyssaThorne My problem isn’t the separation, it’s that I would try to extend the olive branch and be mistreated every time. I would also get all sorts of mistreatment for failing and not being more like someone else.Yeah. It’s not worth it.
          (function () { var last_mouse_move_point; var is_not_move; var script_id = ‘maxthon-gestures-extention-helper’; var is_message_sended; // Whether the mouse is moved between 2 adjacent mousemove events function notMove(point) { if (is_not_move == false) { return false; } if (Math.abs(last_mouse_move_point.y – point.y) < 2 && Math.abs(last_mouse_move_point.x – point.x) < 2) { return true; } else { is_not_move = false; return false; } } if (window === top) { document.querySelector(‘#’ + script_id).setAttribute(‘istopwindow’, ‘true’); } else { document.querySelector(‘#’ + script_id).setAttribute(‘istopwindow’, ‘false’); document.addEventListener(‘mousedown’, function (event) { if (event.button !== 2) { return; } is_not_move = true; last_mouse_move_point = null; is_message_sended = false; }, false); document.addEventListener(‘mousemove’, function (event) { var point; if (is_message_sended) { return; } if (event.button !== 2) { // not right key is pressed down return; } point = { ‘x’: event.clientX, ‘y’: event.clientY }; if (last_mouse_move_point == null) { last_mouse_move_point = point; return; } if (notMove(point)) { return; } top.postMessage({ ‘action’: ‘maxthon-gestures-start-drawing’ }, ‘*’); is_message_sended = true; } ,false); } })();

  5. Letting go of people is the Hardest yet GREATEST thing in life…

  6. Maybe our old identity is the hardest to let go of… who we were… or people think we are…. let go of your old self for your new self…  who you really are… not who people think you are… etc.

  7. Jonathan1 says:

    So when you eliminate those in your life that can’t understand or relate to your quest to live your dream, often it doesn’t leave many at all.. Such is the case in my Life, though as you say, it’s best to surround yourself with those that challenge and support your vision rather than those who prefer mediocrity. Sometimes I feel a bit isolated, but remind myself that having friends who prefer mediocrity isn’t in my best interests..

    1. ThomasMrak says:

      @Jonathan1 I feel the same way sometimes.See what I wrote above. My family on both sides has lots of problems, and very little empathy.There are some friends I really care about too, but they think someone is just going to reward them if they do what they’re told.

  8. Jonathan1 says:

    So when you eliminate those in your life that can’t understand or relate to your quest to live your dream, often it doesn’t leave many at all.. Such is the case in my Life, though as you say, it’s best to surround yourself with those that challenge and support your vision rather than those who prefer mediocrity. Sometimes I feel a bit isolated, but remind myself that having friends who prefer mediocrity isn’t in my best interests..

  9. Lettersfrompaul says:

    DanielZeevi Randy_Gage I never eliminate. Move to seldom see file. If life path crosses, will always have had effect.

    1. Randy_Gage says:

      Lettersfrompaul I hear you. But in cases like addiction or abuse, elimination is necessary.

  10. Lettersfrompaul says:

    DanielZeevi Randy_Gage I never eliminate. Move to seldom see file. If life path crosses, will always have had effect.

  11. ThomasMrak says:

    It’s why I limit exposure to my immediate family other than my brother and his wife.One side worships Unions, and the other believes that life is about acquiring status, money, and power over others. Both sides are different sides of the same Authoritarian coin.”Do as I say, not as I do.”There are many people whom I am no longer friends with because they controlling or very negative. There are some that are half way there, but they have issues of their own, so I limit the amount of time we spend together.  People criticize me for believing that we’re responsible for our own lives, that it isn’t right to take from others to support someone else, that life is risky, and we deserve to keep the rewards if our risks create enough value for others. I also believe life is too short to settle for struggling in part-time retail or working in a cubicle in a “good” job just to pay off the massive debt required to get a “good” education.That we are not owed a level of comfort or success. That one’s status does not mean they should be blindly obeyed. There is no one right way, and formal education doesn’t guarantee us a career.That the cause of a lot of the problems in the world is the government getting in the way instead of allowing individual people to solve problems. I may not have access to a lot luminaries due to my location, but I do use Facebook, Skype, and Twitter to connect with people, and I am constantly reading about Libertarian ideas, success stories of people in various fields who earned it,-especially those who didn’t go to or dropped out of college, as well as other people who before their success stories were “failures” in the eyes of many,  Austrian school economics, Objectivism, etc.

  12. ThomasMrak says:

    It’s why I limit exposure to my immediate family other than my brother and his wife.One side worships Unions, and the other believes that life is about acquiring status, money, and power over others. Both sides are different sides of the same Authoritarian coin.”Do as I say, not as I do.”There are many people whom I am no longer friends with because they controlling or very negative. There are some that are half way there, but they have issues of their own, so I limit the amount of time we spend together.  People criticize me for believing that we’re responsible for our own lives, that it isn’t right to take from others to support someone else, that life is risky, and we deserve to keep the rewards if our risks create enough value for others. I also believe life is too short to settle for struggling in part-time retail or working in a cubicle in a “good” job just to pay off the massive debt required to get a “good” education.That we are not owed a level of comfort or success. That one’s status does not mean they should be blindly obeyed. There is no one right way, and formal education doesn’t guarantee us a career.That the cause of a lot of the problems in the world is the government getting in the way instead of allowing individual people to solve problems. I may not have access to a lot luminaries due to my location, but I do use Facebook, Skype, and Twitter to connect with people, and I am constantly reading about Libertarian ideas, success stories of people in various fields who earned it,-especially those who didn’t go to or dropped out of college, as well as other people who before their success stories were “failures” in the eyes of many,  Austrian school economics, Objectivism, etc.

  13. ThomasMrak says:

    @Jonathan1 I feel the same way sometimes.See what I wrote above. My family on both sides has lots of problems, and very little empathy.There are some friends I really care about too, but they think someone is just going to reward them if they do what they’re told.

  14. ThomasMrak says:

    @CarlyAlyssaThorne It’s hard when it’s family. Neither of my parents ever took personal responsibility for anything in their lives, and always blamed others. They’ve never been supportive, and have done their best to limit  me and my brother, while blaming us for not accomplishing things.It’s easier to succeed with support.They have a huge sense of entitlement and believe that people should be obeyed, and never questioned.They worked Union jobs as well, so they were shielded from the reality of actually having to improve that most employees live in.I’ve never known a pair of greedier, more self-centered people in my life, and I’ve known all sorts of people.It’s why, baring a death in the family or a huge crisis, we don’t talk much. They had the resources to help their children succeed, but their sense of entitlement and jealousy prevented that from happening.

  15. Randy_Gage says:

    Lettersfrompaul I hear you. But in cases like addiction or abuse, elimination is necessary.

  16. msmir says:

    Yes, you need to surround yourself with those who will encourage you to be the best you can be and who will support the path YOU want to take. Unfortunately family can be challenging in that regard and there are times when the only option is to divorce them if they are continuously doing their best in holding you back. There is the risk of them never speaking with you again or forgiving you, however you must do what is best for yourself if you truly want to assert your own power.

    1. ThomasMrak says:

      @msmir When my family asks me why I don’t want to talk to them it’s simple.You didn’t help me and you held me back. If I have any level of success in the world I’m going to help the people who helped me, and you get nothing.I know it’s harsh, but why should I reward negative behavior? 
      (function () { var last_mouse_move_point; var is_not_move; var script_id = ‘maxthon-gestures-extention-helper’; var is_message_sended; // Whether the mouse is moved between 2 adjacent mousemove events function notMove(point) { if (is_not_move == false) { return false; } if (Math.abs(last_mouse_move_point.y – point.y) < 2 && Math.abs(last_mouse_move_point.x – point.x) < 2) { return true; } else { is_not_move = false; return false; } } if (window === top) { document.querySelector(‘#’ + script_id).setAttribute(‘istopwindow’, ‘true’); } else { document.querySelector(‘#’ + script_id).setAttribute(‘istopwindow’, ‘false’); document.addEventListener(‘mousedown’, function (event) { if (event.button !== 2) { return; } is_not_move = true; last_mouse_move_point = null; is_message_sended = false; }, false); document.addEventListener(‘mousemove’, function (event) { var point; if (is_message_sended) { return; } if (event.button !== 2) { // not right key is pressed down return; } point = { ‘x’: event.clientX, ‘y’: event.clientY }; if (last_mouse_move_point == null) { last_mouse_move_point = point; return; } if (notMove(point)) { return; } top.postMessage({ ‘action’: ‘maxthon-gestures-start-drawing’ }, ‘*’); is_message_sended = true; } ,false); } })();

  17. msmir says:

    Yes, you need to surround yourself with those who will encourage you to be the best you can be and who will support the path YOU want to take. Unfortunately family can be challenging in that regard and there are times when the only option is to divorce them if they are continuously doing their best in holding you back. There is the risk of them never speaking with you again or forgiving you, however you must do what is best for yourself if you truly want to assert your own power.

  18. ThomasMrak says:

    @msmir When my family asks me why I don’t want to talk to them it’s simple.You didn’t help me and you held me back. If I have any level of success in the world I’m going to help the people who helped me, and you get nothing.I know it’s harsh, but why should I reward negative behavior? 
    (function () { var last_mouse_move_point; var is_not_move; var script_id = ‘maxthon-gestures-extention-helper’; var is_message_sended; // Whether the mouse is moved between 2 adjacent mousemove events function notMove(point) { if (is_not_move == false) { return false; } if (Math.abs(last_mouse_move_point.y – point.y) < 2 && Math.abs(last_mouse_move_point.x – point.x) < 2) { return true; } else { is_not_move = false; return false; } } if (window === top) { document.querySelector(‘#’ + script_id).setAttribute(‘istopwindow’, ‘true’); } else { document.querySelector(‘#’ + script_id).setAttribute(‘istopwindow’, ‘false’); document.addEventListener(‘mousedown’, function (event) { if (event.button !== 2) { return; } is_not_move = true; last_mouse_move_point = null; is_message_sended = false; }, false); document.addEventListener(‘mousemove’, function (event) { var point; if (is_message_sended) { return; } if (event.button !== 2) { // not right key is pressed down return; } point = { ‘x’: event.clientX, ‘y’: event.clientY }; if (last_mouse_move_point == null) { last_mouse_move_point = point; return; } if (notMove(point)) { return; } top.postMessage({ ‘action’: ‘maxthon-gestures-start-drawing’ }, ‘*’); is_message_sended = true; } ,false); } })();

  19. @ThomasMrak We all have choices… We can divorce family members as easily as a Spouses if we are willing to live with the decision.  I know all about TOXIC family… And One day Made a Choice… To divorce certain family members out of my life… We can only do so much and if it is causing that much damage… time to move on…

  20. ThomasMrak says:

    @CarlyAlyssaThorne My problem isn’t the separation, it’s that I would try to extend the olive branch and be mistreated every time. I would also get all sorts of mistreatment for failing and not being more like someone else.Yeah. It’s not worth it.
    (function () { var last_mouse_move_point; var is_not_move; var script_id = ‘maxthon-gestures-extention-helper’; var is_message_sended; // Whether the mouse is moved between 2 adjacent mousemove events function notMove(point) { if (is_not_move == false) { return false; } if (Math.abs(last_mouse_move_point.y – point.y) < 2 && Math.abs(last_mouse_move_point.x – point.x) < 2) { return true; } else { is_not_move = false; return false; } } if (window === top) { document.querySelector(‘#’ + script_id).setAttribute(‘istopwindow’, ‘true’); } else { document.querySelector(‘#’ + script_id).setAttribute(‘istopwindow’, ‘false’); document.addEventListener(‘mousedown’, function (event) { if (event.button !== 2) { return; } is_not_move = true; last_mouse_move_point = null; is_message_sended = false; }, false); document.addEventListener(‘mousemove’, function (event) { var point; if (is_message_sended) { return; } if (event.button !== 2) { // not right key is pressed down return; } point = { ‘x’: event.clientX, ‘y’: event.clientY }; if (last_mouse_move_point == null) { last_mouse_move_point = point; return; } if (notMove(point)) { return; } top.postMessage({ ‘action’: ‘maxthon-gestures-start-drawing’ }, ‘*’); is_message_sended = true; } ,false); } })();

  21. Leeloo says:

    true, true, true.
    true.
    also true.
    All is exactly described as it is going on in life.
    simply: true!

  22. Leeloo says:

    true, true, true.
    true.
    also true.
    All is exactly described as it is going on in life.
    simply: true!

  23. Decide to be happy…
     
    Sometimes we look to others to make us happy…
    Who are you happy with?… Who aren’t you happy with?
    Or we look to food, things, money etc to make us happy.
     
    It is never enough.
    No one else can make us happy.
    We can’t make others happy.
     
    We can try to use food etc to make us happy…
    or to numb ourselves…but e numb the good & the bad feelings…
    and it doesn’t change our thoughts
    Maybe it gives a temporary feeling, that doesn’t last.
     
    Happiness is an inside job…
    your thoughts & beliefs…
    your mind & your heart.
     
    Only we can choose happiness.

    1. “When we choose not to focus on what is missing from our lives
      but are grateful for the abundance that’s present…
      we experience heaven on earth.”~Sarah Ban Breathnach

  24. do you own your life or are you renting your life – you decide….

  25. do you own your life or are you renting your life – you decide….

  26. Maulanah says:

    Couldn’t agree more. In fact I’m facing it right now. The decision to let go and move up. And Randy is right. It’s freaking hard!! Specially letting go of “old” friends. They’re not bad but they doesn’t give me the “Push.” With this, either they move up with me or I move on.

  27. Maulanah says:

    Couldn’t agree more. In fact I’m facing it right now. The decision to let go and move up. And Randy is right. It’s freaking hard!! Specially letting go of “old” friends. They’re not bad but they doesn’t give me the “Push.” With this, either they move up with me or I move on.

  28. Maulanah says:

    And yeah, can someone tell me what does the points beside the user ID indicate? please?? 🙂

  29. Maulanah says:

    And yeah, can someone tell me what does the points beside the user ID indicate? please?? 🙂

  30. I think Letting go of false beliefs and hurts, etc is forgiving & letting go of past…
     
    Letting go of people… I don’t know if you really can… you will always have memories of them…. they are always with you…. choose good memories… of love etc… and pray for them… you may not be physically with them…. but they are always with you…. like God is always with you… think good thoughts, forgive & love….
    be present… live now… don’t live in the past….
     
    so maybe it is letting go of living in the past.

  31. LuisMaggi says:

    100% agree!!

  32. LuisMaggi says:

    100% agree!!

  33. mikerpdx says:

    I agree we need to find our calling, follow our true path and aspire to greatness. However, I disagree that doing so means “moving up” or accumulating material wealth. Too often such slogans are used to justify hollow pursuits. And “moving up” in this sense can really just be “selling out” our higher purposes for the wages of comfort.

  34. coachangel says:

    You nailed it on the head! Really liking your style and words….you sound a lot like me. 🙂

  35. coachangel says:

    You nailed it on the head! Really liking your style and words….you sound a lot like me. 🙂

 

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