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Learn the Payoff for Your Self-Sabotage

Posted By: Randy GageJuly 10, 2018

Last post we discussed how your story can create an illusion that you eventually actualize into your life.  And when that story is a negative, limiting belief, you essentially doom yourself to a self-fulfilling failure.  The illusion becomes the reality.

So how do you prevent this?

Two actions are critical here. One we will look at now, and the second will be in tomorrow’s post.

The first action is doing the critical thinking to understand the psychic or emotional reward you’re getting from a negative story.

This may surprise you, because you’re thinking that you don’t want a limiting belief.  But subconsciously, you actually might.  Some examples to demonstrate what I mean…

Let’s take the very common story, “all the good guys are taken or gay.”  When you sell yourself that story, you actually get psychic rewards for this.  Because when you buy that story, you get to be a victim, have friends commiserate with you, milk it for sympathy, and you don’t have to take any responsibility for why you aren’t meeting any men.

This issue of being a victim and being able to regale your friends with all your stories of how you have been wronged, cheated, or denied something is insidious.  I know, because I lived it for 30 years.  I was a professional victim and I surrounded myself with friends who were also professional victims.

Every time we’d get together, we would amuse and delight each other with our troubled tales of woe.  And you know what really pisses you off?  When someone has a “better” tragedy than you do!  When this happens, you subconsciously start working to create a cataclysmic event, which will win you more sympathy the next time.

These kind of emotional rewards are false.  They aren’t really rewards; they are crippling your chances for health, success and wealth.  So it’s really worth the effort and introspection to discover which false rewards you’re getting, and how they are actually harming you.

If you’re willing, please share what you work out in the comments below.  And tomorrow we’ll explore the second thing you need to do...

-RG

11 comments on “Learn the Payoff for Your Self-Sabotage”

  1. There is not much to say after you read things like this, except: it is true. The problem is people are really jealous about your successes, so I found myself keep hiding my goals and successes. It is like I can't say good things about my car, because it is more expensive than others car. Or I can't talk about my business, because it gives me money and it is somehow "not right". If I do talk, then people turning against me and they trying to sabotage me at least subconsciously. So I have to defend myself against my "friends", and I have to listen how they cheap car is the best of the world, and how they business ideas are the perfect ones. Of course, all of them are hopelessly broke.

    1. I don't Know you or your circumtances, but Isnt this a limiting believe: "people turning against me and they trying to sabotage me at least subconsciously. So I have to defend myself against my “friends”"

      Why don´t you change your circle of friends to ones that support you and help you be more?

      Just a thought, with my best intentions, you are the only one that really knows whats happening.

      1. I would like to express my thought as well - I agree, though not knowing the details, there might really be a limiting belief or maybe a slight hint of victimhood in that Daniel is surrounded by these friends. Of course these friends will not change their attitude BUT Daniel can change the circle of friends. Otherwise Daniel will be required to put a tremendous amount of energy in resisting the pressure of the friends just to stay on the prosperity flow. Removing the friends, that energy could be put in a much more productive direction, like further increasing the prosperity, happiness a health. Daniel´s "friends" are blocking the flow of nurturing prosperous energy and thus removing the friends could remove that negative atmospere and make space for a flow of supportive, admiring and nurturing (and positively challenging) energy. That´s just my thoughts...

        1. Lucie: The thing is they just growing up with me. We where on the same side, like "life is a struggle", "we never have enough money, just dreams, but no problem, because povert people going to haven" and tons of more bullshits. I decided to live this hell, but they are keep being there. Therefore I turned suspicious in their eyes.

          Question is: what would happen, if I gonne be proud to my prosperity, just as they are so proud to their poverty? Can they successfully sabotage my, or they wanish, or they maybe learn something?

      2. The problem is, you can't change others, only can change yourself. So I can't say how kindly a serial killer is, because he isn't. You're right about that I have to change my circle. They aren't really are my circle, they just old friends who visit me constantly. Sometimes I don't even know why, because they didn't support me anyhow. I think the sad truth is, just the mind virus trying to replicate itself. It is very sad to watch, but you can't really do anything about it. The 80% of my friends is already gone, since I living in a more wealthy life, which is far from being rich currently, but enough for lots of people to leave me forever. I know if as my account is growing, the rest of them are gonna leave too. It is sad, because I love them, but I just can't help them. Even my family members turned against me almost without exception.

  2. SPOT ON - the hidden false reward is insidious because we do not know it is there - it is working underground all the time and can affect most of the decisions we make. I know that what Randy is stating is absolutely true. Unfortunately many people are very attached to their stories as they form part of their identity.

  3. One area I find this to be very true is health and diet. Almost everyone I know that have health issues or are overweight claims it's due to heredity or issues they have no control over. If they have had a heart bypass it is because heart problems run in their family. If they are 100 pounds overweight, it is because they have a thyroid problem. Of course, them pounding down outrageous numbers of double bacon cheeseburgers with a large order of French fries and a 64 ounce soda while sitting on their ass all day watching reruns of Gilligan's Island has nothing to do with it.

  4. Wow!!! Siempre me he dicho historias que me limitan y la mayoría sin siquiera darme cuenta. Desde que empecé a seguirte he cambiado varias de ellas y vivo mucho más feliz y ligera. Muchas gracias por decirnos las verdades sin rodeos.

  5. I do think people with this mentality choose it and capitalize on it. It becomes their identity and makes for themselves a foundation that they can build momentum on. It appears to me that there are much more people using this MO than ever before. I guess it's a great way to avoid being truthful with themselves and it creates a negative fantasy for them to continue to build upon. It makes me sad and also very aware of how important it is to keep your vibrations at a very high level, to avoid attracting these people into our lives.

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  • 11 comments on “Learn the Payoff for Your Self-Sabotage”

    1. There is not much to say after you read things like this, except: it is true. The problem is people are really jealous about your successes, so I found myself keep hiding my goals and successes. It is like I can't say good things about my car, because it is more expensive than others car. Or I can't talk about my business, because it gives me money and it is somehow "not right". If I do talk, then people turning against me and they trying to sabotage me at least subconsciously. So I have to defend myself against my "friends", and I have to listen how they cheap car is the best of the world, and how they business ideas are the perfect ones. Of course, all of them are hopelessly broke.

      1. I don't Know you or your circumtances, but Isnt this a limiting believe: "people turning against me and they trying to sabotage me at least subconsciously. So I have to defend myself against my “friends”"

        Why don´t you change your circle of friends to ones that support you and help you be more?

        Just a thought, with my best intentions, you are the only one that really knows whats happening.

        1. I would like to express my thought as well - I agree, though not knowing the details, there might really be a limiting belief or maybe a slight hint of victimhood in that Daniel is surrounded by these friends. Of course these friends will not change their attitude BUT Daniel can change the circle of friends. Otherwise Daniel will be required to put a tremendous amount of energy in resisting the pressure of the friends just to stay on the prosperity flow. Removing the friends, that energy could be put in a much more productive direction, like further increasing the prosperity, happiness a health. Daniel´s "friends" are blocking the flow of nurturing prosperous energy and thus removing the friends could remove that negative atmospere and make space for a flow of supportive, admiring and nurturing (and positively challenging) energy. That´s just my thoughts...

          1. Lucie: The thing is they just growing up with me. We where on the same side, like "life is a struggle", "we never have enough money, just dreams, but no problem, because povert people going to haven" and tons of more bullshits. I decided to live this hell, but they are keep being there. Therefore I turned suspicious in their eyes.

            Question is: what would happen, if I gonne be proud to my prosperity, just as they are so proud to their poverty? Can they successfully sabotage my, or they wanish, or they maybe learn something?

        2. The problem is, you can't change others, only can change yourself. So I can't say how kindly a serial killer is, because he isn't. You're right about that I have to change my circle. They aren't really are my circle, they just old friends who visit me constantly. Sometimes I don't even know why, because they didn't support me anyhow. I think the sad truth is, just the mind virus trying to replicate itself. It is very sad to watch, but you can't really do anything about it. The 80% of my friends is already gone, since I living in a more wealthy life, which is far from being rich currently, but enough for lots of people to leave me forever. I know if as my account is growing, the rest of them are gonna leave too. It is sad, because I love them, but I just can't help them. Even my family members turned against me almost without exception.

    2. SPOT ON - the hidden false reward is insidious because we do not know it is there - it is working underground all the time and can affect most of the decisions we make. I know that what Randy is stating is absolutely true. Unfortunately many people are very attached to their stories as they form part of their identity.

    3. One area I find this to be very true is health and diet. Almost everyone I know that have health issues or are overweight claims it's due to heredity or issues they have no control over. If they have had a heart bypass it is because heart problems run in their family. If they are 100 pounds overweight, it is because they have a thyroid problem. Of course, them pounding down outrageous numbers of double bacon cheeseburgers with a large order of French fries and a 64 ounce soda while sitting on their ass all day watching reruns of Gilligan's Island has nothing to do with it.

    4. Wow!!! Siempre me he dicho historias que me limitan y la mayoría sin siquiera darme cuenta. Desde que empecé a seguirte he cambiado varias de ellas y vivo mucho más feliz y ligera. Muchas gracias por decirnos las verdades sin rodeos.

    5. I do think people with this mentality choose it and capitalize on it. It becomes their identity and makes for themselves a foundation that they can build momentum on. It appears to me that there are much more people using this MO than ever before. I guess it's a great way to avoid being truthful with themselves and it creates a negative fantasy for them to continue to build upon. It makes me sad and also very aware of how important it is to keep your vibrations at a very high level, to avoid attracting these people into our lives.

    Leave a Reply

    Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


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