This is an incredible post! You rock my belief system. I am definitely worthy of having more!
Worthiness
Send to Kindleby Randy Gage
Some fascinating discussion going on this whole series about discovering your subconscious beliefs about money. John asked me a delicious question on Twitter…
He tweeted me to say, “I don’t need a zillion dollars & material things. Not at all. I would just like a job that I enjoy doing & make enough.”
I wrote back and asked, “Do you think affirming “I don’t need a zillion dollars & material things” is serving you? Because obviously I don’t.
He thought it did serve him and asked the delicious question: “What should my attitude be? Should I want a zillion dollars and a Ferrari?” My response…
Um…yes.
He then asked, “the fact that I don’t want to have $200 mil is worse than wanting like $150,000? How is that a problem?”
So here’s my take on all this…
Last week when I did the Daytime morning show, co-host Cyndi Edwards asked me something similar. (Which John might find fascinating, since the topic was “Why ‘I Quit’ May be Good for You”) She said, “Some folks don’t want to be rich; they just want to be comfortable. You’re okay with that, right?” I told her if she ever said that again, I would wash her mouth out with soap! (See the interview here: http://www.randygage.com/in-the-media/ )
I’m not being elitist here. If someone is happy with $40,000 a year in income or happy being an ascetic, that’s totally cool. If they are happy, I’m happy for them. But here is your food for thought…
If you really had a choice between having $150,000 or 200 million, it seems crazy to me not to take the 200 million. Now if you really feel like $200 million would disrupt your life and you don’t want the decisions they would require of you, okay. But the real question is this:
What beliefs are causing you to make that decision?
When someone tells me they just want enough to get by, that sends all kinds of alarm bells off for me. Because usually is screams worthiness issues. The person who says it is usually surrounded by co-dependent people they are taking care of. They make sure everyone’s needs are met – except their own.
It’s like people who say a car just takes you from point A to point B, or question why you would pay $50 more for a hotel room with an ocean view instead of the dumpster view. I believe they are usually coming from lack consciousness.
No rational person who had experienced luxury would say there is no difference between a Toyota and a Lamborghini, or an ocean front suite at the Four Seasons versus a Holiday Inn. Or at least no rational person who wasn’t under the influence of worthiness issue mind viruses.
As the Course in Miracles teaches, all decisions come from either fear or love. Deciding you are worthy of the ocean view is a love decision. Choosing the other is based on the fear of losing that $50.
The other issue that came up form John’s follow up tweets was he had been at this job he hates for eight years now. No one can take advantage of you for eight years without your permission. As the CIM would say, there are no victims, only volunteers.
So just to be clear, I have no problem is someone doesn’t want money and material things, as long as that is a choice they came to as the result of serious critical thinking. But when I hear comments like John’s, it appears to me to be the result of low self-esteem and not believing he deserves better. Which he does.
Here’s the really wild aspect of all this…
When I got John’s message, I had just come back from shopping. I’m in Amsterdam and it’s a little chilly, so I went out to find a hoodie. (You can still wear hoodies without getting shot over here.) I was walking through the mall and saw an amazing jacket in the window of a store.
It was black with leather sleeves and just looked absolutely fierce. So I walked in, pointed to it, and told the clerk I wanted one in large. She kind of stammered and said that was the only one they had, and I may not want it, because it cost 10,000 Euros.
Turns out it’s a Philipp Plein creation, and the sleeves are actually crocodile. And it turns out the only one they had was… large. BOOM!
Now do I need another jacket? No. Do I need to spend 10,000 Euros on one? No. But fortunately it wasn’t actually 10,000 Euros; it was only 9,999. And fortunately I don’t base all buying decisions by what I “need,” but sometimes by what brings joy to my life.
Joy to the fishies in the deep blue sea – joy to you and me.
- RG
Affiliate Relationship Disclosure
114 comments
All I know is that when I dream for "just enough" just enough is all I ever get.
I saw the jacket in Italy!! It is FIERCE ... and as usual, you look so HOT in it! Had an AWESOME time living RICH! Love you! and Thank You!
What a HOT topic! I keep thinking about that fine jacket. It reminds me that we are adjured not to "store up" treasure on earth. Rather than holding on to our treasure, we should let it go....in other words, spend it.
"Money, like blood, needs to be in circulation." It doesn't matter whether we for it for stuff (or liabilities or investments) or for experiences (travel, seminars, wha'ever) or for that goood & virtuous feeling** of being charitable - the point is, money needs to be In Motion, not stored up.
I bet that retail store clerk celebrated with joy because the jacket sold (esp. if she eared a commission)! She'll understand the value of Big Spenders. So would anyone else who earns their income somewhere in the long chain that leads from the crocodile farmer to the finished jacket to the clerk in the store.
When Randy or I buy something that gives us joy, we aren't the only ones who benefit.
**Cautionary Note: charitable giving can be very dangerous, if it nourishes feelings of arrogance - being somehow "better" than thos who circulate money in other ways.
Absolutely :) If you know what brings joy to your life, you will find the way to have it in your life... Great topic :)
I love this example with jacket Randy :) Amazing feeling, to buy what you want and not solving if you have enough money for it :) Thanks, M.
I just want to go on record that I'm more than deserving of the $200 million and more. Putting a Value on your life is ridiculous. I'm priceless.
One of my two deepest wounds is worthiness. I have to work on that one every single day. I believe I deserve amazing things but that belief conflicts with feeling unworthy. I WILL win. I WILL root out that negative belief and I WILL step into my power in full. I AM worthy. Right now. Did you ever have these issues and is there a technique that you would suggest I use on a day-to-day basis?
I appreciate what you are saying Randy and I agree to a point. I would never knock back more money or wealth and yet neither do I chase it, perhaps I can rethink on this a little more. I am pretty sure the worthiness belief structure is an issue and that is another thing to revist, yes. Yet I just don't relate or find being able to buy lots of stuff because I can. I'm not a big consumer, it's not something I can relate to. I can relate to the idea of being comfortable though because I have found I can be happy in the present moment no matter what else is or isn't happening. But, knowing that having more means I can do more to help others/causes etc. So off I go with this food for thought to ponder and evaluate beliefs and values around this....
All you really need is to live in a shack and farm your field and care for your livestock. Actually, you can just collect welfare and live in a shack.
Great blog Randy. You nailed it with the fear of loss of that $50 for the ocean view room. Really makes you think about all the places in life that we let that fear of loss affect our decisions, and ultimately our results
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@Randy_Gage I'm all in favor of earning more because it usually means you are serving more people w/ some higher level of contribution. If one doesn't want the money, put it to work helping people. The key is to be productive and not lazy about using your talents.
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Happiness is really the key isn't it.... It's when we attach our happiness to an outcome that really hinders our growth but when we limit our thinking to small amounts, we shut ourselves off to the greater amounts and the energy level needed for both amounts are virtually the same.
@Randy_Gage , keep the great messages coming.
John Clark
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@Randy_Gage ya many of my friends also say these type of limiting mind set thing to me that they have no interest in cars,mobiles money etc,, but at that time my mind go on a RED ALERT and i Change the topic immediately or leave the conversation , because you teach me to do so we can"t Correct all but we can correct our self,, BOOM RANDY you rock
Funny, I admired and adored Randy ever since the first day I learned about him. His words are an appetizer to enrich you, to enjoy the banquet of a more abundant life. That is, if you feel you are worthy enough and honorable enough to treat yourself well. Thanks Randy ♥
I understood all of that you talked about here I guess, but I'm absolutely convinced that I'd never want to have a hoodie made of croc leather, neither 100 nor 10,000 Euros. Is there a clearance of worlds ressources because abundance and wealth is the truth (... but unfortunately not focused and understood by a sufficient amount of humans at the time so that it is only a matter of time when we have killed our planet)? E.g. Fracking is okay, war is okay, who cares for any consequences?! Maybe I understood something wrong anyway? Don't like the example in Amsterdam but maybe I'm wrong with that. All the best, Frank
I wonder why you give him attention Annie, if all he is, is an attention seeker. Wouldn't it be better to torture him and NOT give him your attention? Or are you a masochist? Randy rocks my world, despite the fact that I didn't like him when I first came across him several years ago. It's only after I let go of my limiting beliefs around money, abundance and prosperity that I started to respect him. And learn from him that abundance, money and beliefs all go together very, very well.
So far, you have called me a sinner, a codependent, an attention seeker. I will make you my hater, my motivator. Randy, you are a creep, add that one to your list. I don't care what anyone else says, here, I know they will defend you. But, sitting here from my prospective you are one of the meanest negative people I have ever known in my whole life. You know, I took back what I said. I wish for you one day you know how to really love, and know when you are really loved.
Great post! and you know your ego probably enjoyed the massage! LOL! and I'm sure you know the saying "argue for your limits ..... and you get to keep them" I'm with you crocodile jacket and all!!!
If I knew that I could genuinely improve the world more with only 150k and my beat up civic over 200mil and a ferrari that theoretically came with a pre-req of being holed in some ivory tower/ community I'd gladly and happily take the 150k and merrily be on my way to fix the world. With that being said if I still maintained the freedom and creative force with the 200 mil and the ferrari, duh, I'd take it, gives me more means and will power. But my priority still stands. Cheers Rands, honestly that type of shopping and coat not my thing still hope you enjoy it.
Randy, you are one awesome dude! I hope you're gonna be at Art's MasterMind event again this yr.
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I want it all, Randy. :D My first goal is 150,000 a year, I'm not going to say that if I'm offered more, I would not take it. I know I'm worth more than that. I will also move that 150k up, each time I make my mark. I think it takes a daily reminder to oneself that they are indeed worthy of having whatever they set their minds too. However, I have to wonder if a person has never seen anyone in their personal circle or environment reach such heights of success, do you think they will set themselves up by reaching too high or too low? Meaning, I personally don't know anyone making over a 100k. So although I believe I am fully capable of making 150k, my strategy to make it is completely fabricated out of my own imagination, and the success crumbs that others have left. How does one go about not selling themselves too short? By the way, great appearance on Daytime Morning Show.
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@Deeone Higgs Great questions! Use this blog, books and the Internet to keep exposing yourself to high achievers and you'll keep expanding your own prosperity consciousness.
-RG
Latest blog post: Love to Hate
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Wow, great discussion going here. Glad you guys are giving it such serious thought. It's getting a little heated, so please remember to keep the discussion to the issues and leave personalities out of it. Also, if you haven't seen the "Materialism or Minimalism" video yet, that gives you some interesting thoughts on all this: Find it here: http://youtu.be/Tt-HMZVk0Jg
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Wow, Randy - maybe it's the moon or something, but our team training (coaching) call was on this very topic today. Our Company President and Coach, Kim Fulcher, offered us some amazing distinctions about how much we think we're worth. For those who believe that they 'only need enough to be comfortable,' I challenge them to think beyond themselves, to see the good they could do, if they generated more than "just enough." Thanks for this message.
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@AlcheMs I LOVE how you offered the challenge for those who believe in "only enough to..." to "think beyond themselves" that's deserves a BAM! as Randy sometimes says.
People have SERIOUS worthiness issues. There is enough money on the planet for us to ALL BE RICH. It's not in shortage at all. GOD abundantly supplies all my needs. God didn't mean to wait until Heaven to get your riches and rewards. God wants you to have them NOW. God KNOWS where the gold is!
This is what a friend posted on my Facebook page after the above posted:
"God does not want us to be of this world. He believes we should have what we NEED. Nothing more. If we have more...and are blessed to have it...then that more should be shared by Christians. Not taken by government and redistributed.
If you really list your needs....the list is very short. Food, water, love...faith, hope, salvation....and charity...even if we have less than what we need we , we should be charitable."
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@TigerJoanna - tell your friend to look up the parable of the talents/3 servants, where God later took the one talent from the 3rd servant and gave it to the 1st servant with five-turned-10 talents. Makes me sort of wonder why God gave it to him instead of the 2nd servant with two-turned-four talents, but I ain't complaining. :)
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@TigerJoanna - kind of funny no? Even the old testament says something about that.
Cheers to you, Randy and everyone else. Looking forward to reading and learning from you all, then taking action.
@DavidZandueta The LORD will open the heavens, the storehouse of his bounty, to send rain on your land in season and to bless all the work of your hands. You will lend to many nations but will borrow from none. 13 The LORD will make you the head, not the tail. If you pay attention to the commands of the LORD your God that I give you this day and carefully follow them, you will always be at the top, never at the bottom. 14 Do not turn aside from any of the commands I give you today, to the right or to the left, following other gods and serving them.
Deuteronomy 28: 12-14
God wants to ABUNDANTLY supplies all our needs, not BARELY. I am with Randy, we have been brainwashed about money and my friend is a prime example.
@Randy_Gage And, now:
"I agree that God believes we get what we earn...and should share it. But never forget....look in your Bible.....it says store not your riches on earth. Disagree with me all day long....we are all entitled to our beliefs. I have no issue when people disagree with me. But nowhere in the Bible does it tell you to get rich and store earthly treasures. Still, that does not mean we have choose to live as beggars."
Geesh! How do I get her to stop! ... Don't worry, going to delete post on Facebook! :)
@Randy_Gage Same lady said this next:
"the only way to abundant life is through Christ. If you have it all...but have no salvation, you are as poor (actually poorer) than the beggar. I disagree with having more money makes you more of who you are. Having or not having Christ makes you more of who you are. The wealthy can ignore the poor....and yet the Christian poor has more riches than that wealthy man will ever have. We cannot be of this world...it is written in the Bible. Your riches are not here....they are in heaven. Whatever you have here is temporary......but with Christ....life is eternal. Oh....and in eternal life....money is moot."
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I literally just laughed out loud as I read the closing statement "Joy to the fishies in the deep blue sea – joy to you and me." I love the message of this work and when song in integrated... well that's just good fun!
Joy to the world... All the boys and girls!
side note: I still have to catch up on the last few posts so I may have missed it from before but I"m glad to see the link to the recent TV spot. I'd heard about it but hadn't seen it yet. Bout to go check that next.
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Randy Gage nails it once again! Imagine a world where people would get out of their own way for even five minutes. No prison is stronger than the prison of self imposed limiting beliefs.
Let's face it:
It is easier to say we don't care about money than to invest the time necessary to attract it.
It is easier to say that you are "in shape" because round IS a shape than to get up off the sofa.
It is easier to maintain status quo in all aspects of life than it is to change our habits.
This piece reminds me of the importance of solid mental floss necessary for success!
Always Better Your Best!
Shef
I see this a lot amongst musicians and creatives in general and even some entrepreneurs."I want to be an indie artist/musician. Making a lot of money is selling out.""As long as I can make enough with music to support myself, I'm happy""Any musician who is popular has sold their soul to the big labels and panders to the masses.""Real musicians work hard and don't make a lot of money, in fact you'll have to have a day job."These are all pretty bad.I don't know about you but the musicians who stand the test of time and make the big bucks, regardless of the genre, are the ones who create something that connects with a decent amount of people but also is a genuine expression of themselves. Good music transcends boundaries. As for "selling out" the Grateful Dead made millions, were never signed to a major label, and they allowed people to record their concerts and share them, as do modern jam bands such as The Disco Biscuits. They built up a dedicated following which is still huge to this day, across generations.About half of this year's Grammy nominees were NOT signed to major labels or even heavily promoted in a traditional way. The power of community and people passing on something they liked made it possible. While electronic music isn't quite mainstream in the US and albums don't sell in huge quantities, a lot of electronic music DJS/performers can make a million or more headlining some of the big electronic music festivals, so it is gaining traction.Imagine if it was fused with other genres, and followed more of a familiar structure?
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This is so great. If you say you want the dumpster view over the ocean view, you are clearly lying to yourself. Come on! Don't lie!! Dumpster over ocean? Lying. So what else are you lying to yourself about?
Maybe you take issue with what you would have to sacrifice in order to pay for and enjoy the ocean view - it's understandable, but it brings up a whole different issue of what you think is possible. There are plenty of ways to get the ocean view - your job is to find the way that best suits your personal set of beliefs and values. :)
This reminds me of one of my favorite concepts by Jim Rohn - when discussing the idea of setting the goal to become a millionaire "for what it will make of you to achieve it", he says:
"The guy says: 'Well, I don't need much.' Well, then you don't need to become much."
Love it. Love this post. And this entire blog. :)
P.S. first comment ever! I'm proud. My good friend Sean O'Shea encouraged me to :) Out of the countless amazing things Sean has contributed to my life, this blog and your insight has been a big one. Thank you so much.
Hi Natalie Lamb!! I don't know you, but I have heard the best things about you!!
@Laura M One of the biggest issues is, we ASSUME wrongfully, that it will involve complete suffering and not be enjoyable at all.After all, most of us make the assumption that being a successful creative or business person is like a job, where we have to work hard all the time to impress others- to get that nice carrot our friends or family or boss told us would get.When someone else is always holding the carrot, that means they can take it away from you.Personally, I think the only person we have to impress is ourselves, and it's far more about providing some sort of value rather than hard work.Steve Jobs didn't work several million times harder than the guy who works at the Starbucks down the road from Apple, and baring any sort of physical handicap, it is very unlikely that most of the Starbucks employees were smarter or have not had the inspiration to create new technology or new art.Most people are smart enough and capable enough to answer the call of their souls, with or without years of experience, knowing the right people, living in the right area, or formal education or the right background and other such "rules" of society.People transcend these problems all the time. If these "rules" really were the absolute truth, only people who had been born to people who were already wealthy would be defining the arts, music, science, and business.The truth is, in my observation the people who ended up defining things the most in any of these fields had more of a reason to do so, because they weren't born into privilege.They knew they had nothing to lose.It was succeed or live in poverty, or just get by.I know it was this way for 50 Cent, for Steve Jobs, and for Randy, as well as others.The biggest issue is, we human beings have a tendency to identify with our flaws or our problems way too much.Lord knows we have plenty of advertisers, the government, religion, and even schools telling us how flawed and unworthy we are. You and I are worthy. We wouldn't be here, on Randy's blog having this conversation. We'd be watching "Jersey Shore" or "Jerry Springer".
@Laura M Laura - well done for having the courage to post. Awesome... Jim Rohn is a sweetheart!
Randy, you are massaging your own ego a bit. I think, just my opinion. Live and let live. Not everyone thinks like you. That's okay, it doesn't mean they are codependent or lack programmed. It might be true, you are right. I think you need to justify yourself. Stop. Stop doing that.
What is your big thing with codependency, you seem like you are always so mad about it? You are still thought provoking, but I just feel like something is wrong here.
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@Annieb Co-dependency is a serious mental health issue and prevents people from reaching their potential for a fulfilled life. It's a big cause for people getting stuck and many people enable that behavior. I don't. And I certainly wasn't mad when i wrote this post. I thought it offered fascinating insights into the whole series we've been discussing for the last few days. - RG
@Randy_Gage Okay, I have to say oops. I wrote a whole thing and deleted it. I liked it, but I actually reread your post, and missed some of what you wrote.
I actually like this post. I missed the whole section where you said if people came to the conclusion they didn't want money through critical thinking....
I think it may be one of my most favorite posts!
So, um excuse me. Anyway, I do think Co-Dependency is a serious condition. I have suffered from it myself. It is awful and difficult to unlearn. I was afraid when I read this without seeing the part I missed, that you could be codependent on things, which is equally as bad as being dependent on other people.
Codependency is really when your self esteem relies on something else besides your own self worth, and self love. What makes it bad with being codependent on people is that you usually end up using the other person, for your own needs and forget to value them and yourself. You use people as a prop instead of seeing them as an individual with their own wants and needs.
The person who is being used is just as needy, usually they think the only way they can be loved is if they are needed by someone else.
But, you know I bet a lot of codependent people are wealthy Randy. Don't you think?
Randy, I think you get you better and better. :) I still don't like the whole Poverty is a sin thing. But, I will only say more about that, when it pertains to the topic.
@ThomasMrak @Randy_Gage I,m not offended Thomas. I agree. I just don't think it helps to blame the victims, it only perpetuates the problem. In fact we are all victims of poverty, because it can harm our fellow humans. I am Christian, and I Christ said whatsoever you do to the little ones, you do to me.
Sometimes though, I think Randy needs to define his terms better. There is poverty and there is POVERTY. You know what I mean? To say being poor is a sin, includes even me I think. I am not impoverished but I am definitely poor. For now. I choose not to work so I could be with my son when he was a baby, I don't think that is a sin.
Anyway, I know how young gay people struggle. I haven't personally experienced it, because I am not myself gay. I am sorry for societies reactions to homosexuality. It is sad and scary sometimes.
Is Randy gay? Randy are you Gay? I never know. Is that what you mean Thomas? I don't think he is ever very clear about it.
Yes, Thomas God gave you your talents for a reason. You are a special unique you.
@Annieb @Randy_Gage Oh and by the way, I am gay, was treated poorly by a lot of people, and I'm creative. Like Randy, I let it define me for a long time, and I will it isn't worth the time, energy, or resources.30 now and I can't get that time back but there are plenty of attractive 30 somethings, and even someone who did experience success does hit roadblocks, so I guess it's something that happens now and then to everyone.Part of the process of growth.And no one has a right to mistreat or pigeonhole me, or anyone else.I am going to use my ability to express myself to get through to people, because music is the Universal Language and something which transcends time and space. P.S.Unity on the Bay will pray for you if you send them a prayer request. I asked them to pray for me as I ramp up my pursuit of my talents in a healthy dedicated way.This is probably the first time I have had faith in something which I can't prove.It's scary, but for some reason, I think that God gave me these talents for a reason, and it most certainly wasn't to rot in Minnesota and suffer.
@Annieb @Randy_Gage No offense to you Annie but human suffering, which includes poverty is mostly preventable. The fact that it exists, especially in a world where we have such wonderful technology and vast resources is evil, and a crime.It's easy to blame wealthy people for it, but people can only be mistreated if they are complacent and tolerate anti-human behavior.Many of these "evil" companies and individuals wouldn't have the power they had if people stopped doing business with companies who treat customers and people poorly, and holding government accountable for protecting people from harming other people rather than making rules and regulations which prevent people who are not already rich or on good terms with people in government from doing what they value.This is no different than the gay community, women, blacks, and Latinos, and other marginalized groups tolerating subpar treatment by old fashioned, bigoted people, who are often insecure men who view anyone different as a threat.You can't enslave someone unless you surrender your free will completely, which people will do to avoid discomfort.
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