Why Doing Good is Selfish
by Randy Gage
What a wild and groovy discussion going on the last post and the original post that started it all. I promised that we’d pick up on the topic of how doing good was selfish…
Before that, however, we need to finish the talk on “the greater good.” Those are very dangerous words.
Self-sacrifice is more than the root of low self-esteem, it is anti-free enterprise and consequently anti-humanity. When the living energy of productive citizens is sucked from them by the parasitic herd, what incentive is there to remain productive? All innovation and development stops and everyone loses.
You have the herd, organized religion, and the government all telling you to be selfless, and take care of others. And if you buy into this crazy shit, you are doomed to a life of lack, misery, and frustration. Of unrealized dreams, and settling for mediocrity.
Adopting self-sacrifice as a virtue enables others to take advantage of you and, practiced long enough, selfless behavior ultimately destroys you. You have no purpose in life, other than placating others and seeking their approval. Which you can only earn by giving up your own happiness. This is sick, twisted and dysfunctional.
Now every time I discuss this someone trots out the argument of Mother Teresa, Gandhi, etc, as that somehow negated the logic. It doesn’t.
If you see your main purpose in life as serving others, you have an extremely low opinion of yourself, don’t believe you are worthy, and will experience a tremendous amount of lack and limitation in your life. Not to mention that you’re probably personally responsible for the founding of at least three Co-dependents Anonymous chapters!
Insanity is a lack of reason or good sense. We could certainly define it as unsoundness of mind to render a person unfit to maintain a relationship, or look after his or her own needs for emotional well-being and survival. People who spend their existence worrying solely about the needs of others and not themselves are not noble, benevolent, and spiritual. They are just crazy.
“Go sell crazy somewhere else, we’re all stocked up here.”
And because they don’t look after their own needs first, they really can’t help others in a healthy way. They can console them, participate in their drama, or enable their co-dependence, but they can’t offer them real, meaningful help.
Or to repeat an oft-quoted line from a character in The Fountainhead, “To say ‘I love you,’ one must first know how to say the word ‘I.’”
I believe your highest moral purpose must be your own happiness. Because this is the only healthy, sane way to live. And the only way that ensures the survival of the species, and the well being of the most people. In fact, it is the only honorable way to conduct any relationship.
You must not sacrifice yourself to others because that is depravity. Depravity because it is a certain state of moral corruption and degradation. It is sick, a sure symptom of mental illness.
Don’t get me wrong. You will sometimes sacrifice and help others I hope. I’m writing this blog from a dentist’s office, having brought a friend here who needed emergency surgery. (Two root canals. So if anyone ever deserved some compassion, it’s him!) Certainly most of you would do the same thing for your own friends. If you were able. But if you are scheduled for your shift at Burger King, you probably couldn’t get the time off.
In fact, to quote Mother Teresa herself, “To be able to give, you must have.”
When you have your own happiness as your highest moral purpose, you have a productive – and moral – reason to exist. And here’s the important thing…
If everyone did this, the world would be a much better place! Instead of dysfunction, depravity, and codependence, we would have healthy, functional, value-for-value relationships. No one would be asking others to sacrifice yourself for him or her, and you would behave the same way. That is the way healthy relationships are done.
This leads us to the issue of self-esteem…
A sane person understand that if they sacrifice themselves for others, they will diminish and degrade themselves, and ultimately be of use to no one. Now this leads us to the next question that arises for many. Namely, what about love and relationships?
Love is an expression of your self-esteem. And an expression of your deepest values. You fall in love with someone who shares these values. And if you truly do love someone, it means that they bring happiness to your life. Or in other words, you love them for purely selfish and personal reasons! (Because if you weren’t in love for this reason, it wouldn’t make sense. If you were in love for selfless reason, it would mean that you would get no joy or personal pleasure, and are there simply for self-sacrificial pity for that person. That is not love. It is dysfunctional craziness.)
That doesn’t mean that there are not millions of people who would accept that kind of sick, superficial love. There are. But those are the people living lives of quiet desperation. They merely want to suck the joy, life and energy from your body. Then, when you are as lifeless as they are, they will be content to know that you share an equal misery.
In a healthy relationship, you choose the person you love, and you fall in love with them because they bring happiness to your life. This is the highest compliment and honor you can ever pay another human being – that you love them for the selfish reason of the happiness and joy they bring you.
Let’s go back to the issue of serving others, and giving to charity. There is this belief (Often fostered by governments and organized religion) that you have a moral obligation to help those less fortunate than you. Nothing could be further than the truth. This is the kind of belief that keeps people ignorant, sick and broke.
If you live your life by the principles we are discussing, you very well may help others and contribute to charity. Hopefully you do. Personally, the number one deduction on my tax return for the last fifteen years has been charity. And I anticipate it will remain so for the rest of my life. But there are three criteria for this:
1) The person or organization is worthy of the support.
2) I can afford to do it.
3) It brings me happiness to do it.
That alone is what determines on whom and where I spend my charity dollars. It certainly has nothing to do with who is the “neediest,” or what causes are politically correct.
I support a great deal of causes. The Opera, symphony, my church, wildlife funds, disease prevention and cures, homeless shelters, runaway shelters, and scholarships. Computers for aspiring entrepreneurs, stage clothes for upcoming singers, and martial arts training for foster kids. Academic scholarships, sponsoring amateur sports teams and holiday presents for hundreds of kids who wouldn’t have got any.
But I did all this for purely selfish reasons. For the happiness it brings me.
And that is where this all leads to. You know exactly what brings value to you, and furthers your purpose, which is a life of happiness. It means accepting that you are supposed to be happy and working towards that end, without guilt. Refusing to give in to guilt rackets that are practiced on you.
Which is not to be confused with Hedonism. Which is where we’ll pick up next…
-RG
Incredible insights Randy - right on the mark!
This reminds of the episode in "Friends" where Phoebe and Joey are having a dispute as to do whether or not Phoebe can do a "selfless" act.
Basically she tried doing all of these "nice" things, but Joey reminded her that every nice thing she did... she did for selfish reasons (for the happiness it gave her, etc.)
Anyway, awesome post!
Jeremy Reeves
http://www.JeremyReeves.com
sorry,my post was a bit mixed.I said Jesus Christ first because of the long conversation...and then I answered a comment...and then I started talking about you.Well well,it is sunday and I am on a diet.I guess i am excused...
Jesus Christ...what a long conversation.Tried to follow it but realized something like "this is not my business".Randy,have you read a book called "Back from tomorrow"?Maybe I have asked that before.George.G.Ritchie.What I see about Jesus is that he was not on peoples side like that.He did never judge.At least not after baptised into Christ.The christ did not judge,because he was able to see things from every point of view.And sometimes when we meet a peron who strongly has this force,we feel it and by that we can realize things about ourselfes,but not from a judging point.And I see you have that ames.To be able to see things from all sides.I guess that is why people connect to you so easily.
Selflessness is NOT a prerequisite for valuing and truly helping others! You need a self to act in the world in favor of it. In fact, valuing others deeply will lead inevitably to valuing yourself more. If you keep fighting it, you are in for some very difficult, unproductive times... and you are most likely, not really valuing others, just "helping"...and that seldom helps! Great points as always! ;)
Randy, thank you again for enriching my life with your wisdom.
Natalie and Hilary,
I don't try to justify my comments, preferring to let them and the discussion they evoke speak for themselves. And when things seem to get off track, it's usually best to let the blog community take care of it and get things back on the right course. In this post I finally felt I needed to say something. Obviously that was a mistake, because you two handled things in a much better and more prosperous way than I did! So thank you for that.
-RG
Randy, you should have said some things earlier and not necessarily to me.
I am proud of myself because I have been raw, real, and honest. Not perfect. Not positive always, honest.
I know some of the people on this blog are business associates of yours and can't afford that kind of let your hair down honesty. However, the way some of them kiss you ass, and conceal nastiness with a smile is unnerving.
So, you could look at some of the name calling as a good place to stop some of the phony stuff. However, I hope one day myself included we are all real and nice. :)
We should be positive. But, we should also be real with our emotions, always. And learn to say them nicely. Nicely, Annie nicely.
Annie
Annie - I like that you say one day maybe we are all real and nice. You could ask that with EACH and EVERY post you write eh?
Why wait for some day? You're great Annie - I bet you could do it every day...
And the days you are triggered? I don't think you need to be raw, real, and honest in the way you have been if that looks like attacking RG, insulting people, calling him names, distorting what hes saying to prove he's wrong... That's not raw, real and honest for me. That's being distorted, looking at others through a lens that makes them wrong, rather than gains any understanding or growth...
Raw, real and honest looks like this to me:
"I feel angry, hurt, and wild when I read what's posted here. I feel victimised and upset. I'm taking it personally and its sore. I don't know why I'm triggered, but something's touched me. I think it's when you use fundamentalist - it hits me, and hurts me. I don't know why I react to that... Maybe I have friends who are fundamentalist and I feel protective of them and I'm like a mama bear. I know they can be weird in their views, but I also love them. I feel like attacking back to hurt you back. I'm breathing to calm myself. I feel confused, and angry... I want to know why you hate them? I feel like you hate me when you hate them. I don't want to be hated. Suddenly as I reread my words I see that I felt hated and attack for having strong views, and felt weird for them. I wanted love and I got judgment instead. I just wanted love. I'm upset now. It hurts. It makes me angry. I feel enraged. I'm going to go and draw my anger, and dance my anger. I'm going to explore the times I felt rejected for being me so that I can love all of me so I feel great again. I know it's not true that YOU are hating me - so I'm going to explore privately what this is about so I can come to see and know myself and my hate and anger so I have more control and power in myself. I want a breakthrough around this, so I feel stronger and more empowered, I hate feeling this triggered and weak... I want to love every little bit of this pain, and hurt and love all of me better. Ow. It hurts. Breathing deeply and wishing you well!"
I hope this helps... joy to you...and I hope you breath in hope much love there is for you here...
Natalie,
You know honestly, I was feeling happy until I had read your posts. And now I am angry. I am not you. I will not sound like you when I am upset. I am not sure right now if you really want to help me or if you are trying to help out Randy.
I have been waving the white flag of reconcillication today. Do you know Natalie, what that suggests? That perhaps I have already without your help considered all these things all ready. I might also add that you mentioned above you haven't been reading my posts anymore so I am not sure why you feel you are at the liberty to say the things you do. You in my opinion, are the one stirring up drama right now.
I am pretty pissed right now that you keep at me. Are you afraid of letting Randy fight this battle? If so you may want to ask yourself why.
I am getting tired of you playing therapist with me. So, I am asking you politely to stop. And stop now.
I don't feel love from you, if you are trying to help only you know, because it is not resonating with me that way right now.
I have spoken my truth, let it speak for itself. And NOW with kind regards LEAVE ME BE.
Annie
IT's interesting that when someone DOES reach out to love/help serve you you get angry.... and question the motives...
And when they DON'T you get angry... and say you are not loved...
Annie - NEITHER are true. Like Randy says to me - there are times I need to show you how your thinking is distorted and tell you the truth.
Wayne Dyer says: "When you squeeze an Orange, what comes out? No matter WHO squeezes it, what is IN the orange must come out. Whether it's bitter or sweet or bland, it doesn't matter WHO squeezes it, what is INSIDE it comes out." It seems unloved angry comes out of you...
By the way there's a difference between a REQUEST, and a command or a demand. This: "So, I am asking you politely to stop. And stop now." is the latter to me.
I'd love to make my own request: Please respect and honour this blog and it's purpose. It's about prosperity and success. Both of which I'm focused on and I'd love to come here and truly learn from this man who's achieved both with love, integrity, discipline, multitasking mastery and generosity... And co-create magic within the community that touches, inspires, uplifts, and opens the world the gift that it is...
I'd also like to request you end your attack on RG and use the energy of your anger to break through your own shit rather than blindly attack him. Otherwiwse its a waste of energy that serves no on. It's toxic - and not what I want to be around. If you can't do that please see a therapist until you can. This place isn't where you can wipe your shoes... It's my santuary, not your doormat. If you are going to project, attack and insult on here there are many who can step in to be give you a sense that you're in group therapy so that you get the help you need. You decide - treat the blog with respect, or behave like a victim and receive therputic help here or elsewhere.
That said, Randy doesn't need my help! I'm not afraid for Randy - I'm being selfish. I'm loving MYSELF and trying to create an atmosphere and space of support and challenge to create a prosperous and successful space here. Is that not what you want?
What I'd love is to come to this blog and be celebrating and learning about success and prosperity. Wouldn't you? Are you wanting to be prosperous and succesful more than you are already? Is that your purpose here? What energy and atmosphere are you wanting to create her Annie? Is it aligned with the blogs purpose? I expect everyone here to be owning, exploring and using this blog to realise their highest potential in prosperity and success.
What can we do to create a blog that oozes with prosperity and success Annie? How can you contribute to this to a sacred space of learning, creating, celebrating rather than attacking with negation, frustration and reaction? How can we as a community create an atmosphere that attracts AWESOMENESS, greatness, and cherishes the GIFT that we ALL are?
Blessing with gratitude... xoxo
Natalie,
You guessed right I was demanding you to stop. It wasn't meant to be anything other than a command. I am setting a boundry with you. You did not respect it either. Once again, if you have not been reading these posts, I have no idea why you think you are at liberty to say the things you do.
Please be respectful of my response. I was nice earlier to your long winded psychobabble post, and I no longer feel like being nice to you.
You are not helping me or you at this point. I will not grant your request you have made, because you have unfairly accused me of things I will not claim to be true in my opinion.
How dare you. I have treated Randy with disrespect, and it was not right. I wonder if you realize you are now doing the same to me.
While you cannot tell me what to post to Randy, if you want me to stop responding to you I will. If Randy tells me to stop posting I will.
If you are hearing what I am saying please, do your best to use restraint in your next comment.
Annie, I boudnary has been set many times with you - and refuse to honour it. Each time you post Randy's words are right above that requesting you ADD to the dialogue - not insult. Randy has requested you use I language and quit attacking. You refuse to honour him. You continue to attack him personally.
If you continue to attack, I shall know it is because you need support to reflect and question your negative views and behaviour. OR You may choose to behave here with respect, kindness and a willingness to learn and I shall enjoy your contribution with appreciation. YOU decide Annie. It's your choice. COme here to learn with respect and ownership of your feelings without attack OR it will be taken as a clear sign that you do not know how to treat people, and are asking for support to learn how to behave in a kind, respectful and honouring way. You decide.
If you have to continue with you anger, reactions and upset, I shall reflect your behaviour so you see it clearly, firmly, loving but ensuring you see it. You are welcome to get angry with me for doing that - tho as per Randy's request: without attack, name calling, or insult when I hold the mirror to you... It's up to you Annie. How will you play ball?
Are you going to come here to learn prosperity and play nicely?
I dare ya! You know you want to ;-)
Annie,
How you feel has nothing to do with what is being described....and suggested by others...
This is something totally different, isn't it?
Victoria
Victoria,
I am so tired, I don't know anymore. I just want to move on. Thanks.
Annie
Annie,
Thank God...
My head was starting to spin....
Victoria
Natalie,
I refuse to accept what you say as the accurate reflection of who I am or what I say. You are not able to mirror what you cannot see.
You think you will shame/frighten/guilt me, well I do not accept your vigorous attacks. I think today you have behaved as if perhaps not more disrespectfully than I ever have.
You are not aware that what you are doing is not loving? Love requires empathy and grace, and when one receives it they can feel it.
It is interesting how you keep begging me to be nice and not attack, when I responded once to you kindly enough. Yet, you had to keep trying to therapize me or something, I don't really know what your goal is.
I think there is fine line between tough love and hateful behavior, better check which side your on.
Annie
If you want me to behave like you model better behavior.
Annie,
Loving doesn't mean agreeing with someone or condoning their behaviour. Loving is like today saying to the boys at the back of the church "Be Quiet" - even with the father standing with them ignores their loudness because he's too timid to control his son. Loving is also discipline and showing consequences - if someone can not control their own behaviour and insist on attacking, insulting and being rude and creating a toxic environment there are results to that... It's a choice if someone wants to be included and enjoyed, or be disciplined for behaving rudely in someone elses home/blog.
Many times Randy teaches us to grow as leaders and says - if there's someone at the back of the room doing something they shouldn't we need to step up and say something. For instance if he's talking he won't stop to ask a mother with a noisy baby to leave the room - he expects one of us will get up and request she leave until the baby has stopped crying. She may get offended, but it disturbs the atmosphere and stops people from being able to focus on what is being said. It's her choice to feel rejected but he teaches that as leaders he expects us to step in, and rise up, and do the right thing. I had this at the last meeting with him - a woman made a phone call on her mobile WHILE the presenter was speaking. SO disrespectful. I went to her and requested she stop. RG expects that we will support him in the crowd and do the right thing. He'll let me know if I'm not doing it right. Very quickly.
I have NO intention to frighten/shame/make you feel guilty at ALL. My ONLY intention is to ensure that this space is a safe space to explore and realise prosperity, and success. My only intention is to support Randy to have his blog be a place focused on prosperity and success and NOT on attacks, insults, name calling and frustration... I want to have a place to come that is amazing... not a childrens playground with name calling, attacks, spite, biting, and personal insult without self control. This is not a field day for inner children to run amok - this is a blog designed to raise our consciousness. If you don't want that, and you want to disagree with as much as possible why are you here?
When I woke this morning I the first words I heard where Randys "you do have the liberty to say what's okay." And I remembered how frequently he requests we stand up as leaders rather than allow bad behaviour. So I apologise to RG for just avoiding the comments, rather than stepping up. It was weak of me.
We have tried requesting you respect this space, understanding your history and loving you through the issues/confusion/challenges you see yourself in that are manifest in this constant reaction, seeing behind it, reflecting who you are being, mirroring your behaviour, showing you how toxic you are being by creating and evoking drama and being a victim, we've tried to problem solve with you to establish a place that is glorious place to grow (safe, warm etc), we've asked your intention here and why you come here... Is there another way that I can help/challenge/request you with your personal attacks so that they STOP, and you come here to learn?
In each situation when I have asked completely openly WHAT IS YOUR INTENTION and HOW CAN YOU SERVE AND ADD VALUE TO THE BLOG? I have not received an answer - there has only been reaction. COnstantly. Nothing productive, supportive, or focused in aligning with the blog. As one of the people RG mentors I need to step up to support him rather than ignore your posts - so he can focus on his writing, leading a 200 000+ organisation, creating products, etc. to serve many more than just those he mentors. I realise that maybe I have been wrong in simply avoiding what you write. Maybe I should have been asking you to think about your behaviour and make a choice:
Either you come here with respect. Or you get help with your behaviour that is not acceptable so you can learn what that is appropriate, amazing and respectful. Or you do not post when you feel attacking. Or you leave?
SO many options. I'd ask you Annie - if this was YOUR blog, would you allow someone like you here to attack the author, the readers, the content, the philosophy, without critical thinking or willingness to stay focused on the issues?
Loads of love to you Annie! xox
Randy has said clearly: do not personally attack, speak about the topic NOT the person, discuss issues
Natalie,
I didn't even read this one. And I won't. As I have said before I don't wish to have this discussion with you. Thanks for your attempts, let's let it go, and read about Hedonism!
Annie
Annie,
Now that's logic talking! :) :) :)
Victoria
Thanks Victoria. :)
Annie
Dear Annie - you often speak of how you are almost genetically programmed to help others and yet you seem vehemently opposed to so much of what Randy expouses and you express it in such a violent manner. Being from the emerald isle myself I know irish people are very passionate - which is great if channeled positively but unfortunately uncontrolled passion or intransigence is what caused the "troubles" or the war there which caused so many tragic deaths. (I can feel your blood rise from here.) You are very high spirited and I love your sense of humour but I think you would get a lot more from this blog if you took things less personally. Sometimes I look at the blog and think , is this blog about "Why Doing Good Is Selfish" (in this case) or is it about Annie? As you feel so passionately about things maybe you should start your own blog. I am not asking you to agree with everything Randy says - everyone is entitled to their own opinion(including Randy.) It reminds me of when I brought Mark Victor Hansen to Geneva in 2006 and I had offered a money back guarantee if people didn't like it. The next day 2 young girls called me asking for a refund saying "he had no idea what he was talking about" - the man that sold 120 million books........ and this is just a small fraction of what he is about! You were quite scathing about Randy not defending himself - this is one of the reasons these people are so prolific and why they have The Midas Touch - because they are highly disciplined and know exactly where to put their focus. Personally I am soooo grateful for the inspiration these people bring to my life and I choose to learn from them as I will be elated when I can do as much good in the world as they are doing. In the meantime I choose to love me and my life just as it is.
Some good thoughts Hillary. Thanks.
Annie
Hey there:
I know it's late on a Friday night, but something that happened tonight got me to see what Randy is talking about, and I thought I'd share about it.
Some friends of mine were in town (Los Angeles) from Northern Cal., and I went drinking with them out on the West Side. When I got to the bar, I ordered a beer, and we began chatting and having a great time.
Then, without me even knowing it, someone ordered a round of Jaeger Bombs. Now, I've had enough experience with Jaeger to know that I don't tolerate it well. It's the one type of alcohol that makes me turn into a raging asshole (pardon the language). So, I told them that, and told them I didn't want one. They said, "Don't worry, you were a raging asshole in high school and that's what we love about you." After a bit more peer pressure, I gave in.
Within about 10 minutes, I was getting upset real easily and started going on rants, not only about outside things, but with the very people I came to have a good time with. When I reminded them that Jaeger Bombs make me a raging asshole, they started trying to make me feel bad about it. One of my friends actually said, "Dom, you don't want me to be the one to end this." So, I said, "OK, I'll end it then." After a few more minutes, someone ordered another round of Jaeger Bombs. I told the waiter I didn't want one, but they ordered it anyway.
At that point, once the waiter left, I decided I was gonna take off. My friends were really upset. one of them even refused to shake my hand as I left. I went home, got clear of the resentment that I still had, and texted them saying that I was sorry to cut things short, but that I was all good and we'd talk again soon. I got over the resentment quickly and would definitely hang out with them anytime, but I will never sacrifice my own evening for the sake of someone else's good time.
What I got out of this is that all of us went there to have a good time tonight, but "good time" meant something different to me than it did to them. To them, good time meant that THEY would have a good time by ME making an ass of myself. They had no regard for the fact that I wouldn't have a good time. I gave in initially, thinking that it would be selfish to refuse a drink.
But finally my healthy selfishness won out. I saw that my enjoyment of the evening was more important to me than sacrificing it so that others might be able to enjoy theirs at my expense.
Real prosperity for all means that you don't have to sacrifice yourself in order that others may have. Real prosperity means that we can all have what we want, and while we can support each other in achieving our goals, we ought not sacrifice our own goals in order to ensure that anyone else reaches theirs.
So, while I went tonight with a selfish intention, that I have a good time, it was a a selfish intention that allowed others to have a good time as well. My friends, on the other hand, developed the idea that they could have a better time without regard for whether or not I was OK. They expected me to be willing to sacrifice my good time so that they could have a better time.
Do you see the two different types of selfishness? One type recognizes that your own happiness is the most important, and that you ought not sacrifice it for anyone else, while the other type desires that others sacrifice their own happiness (or whatever else) for your sake. I think that when Randy talks about selfishness, he's talking about the first type, but because the word is usually associated with the second type, it wasn't well received by some of us with the best of intentions.
Peace and good night, Dom
What a great way you turned that situation around.
-RG
Randy,
Please give some serious consideration to what is occuring in this blog. When you take on leadership, in any capacity, you have a huge responsibility and I am concerned you are creating a very negative vacuum with this. You have very vulnerable people on this blog and if you don't take control and change the temperature, I think you may be doing some serious damage right now. I give you the benefit of the doubt that this is not self entertainment for you or ego driven, but if it is I will delete you in a key stroke.
Yes I was thinking that if I didn't acknowledge some of the personal attacks they might die off, but I can see that isn't happening. I am aware of what you mean and will have to change some things. Thanks, RG
Mary Ellen
I hear your call for things to be kind, respectful, welcoming, and positive.
When things get attacking they feel toxic for you and the temperature feels ugly and heated, eh? You're wondering why Randy doesn't leap in and change the atmosphere? Why he doesn't hold the space more so it feels safe and warm?
I understand that...
What I see is that he creates a space - where leaders can grow. Where he allows things and hosts a space for us to become leaders... Where he allows people to show up as they are... and be true to ourselves...
How I've seen Randy work is to lead from the front and go forward... He's not into fixing things... His way of "discipline" is allowing people to see themselves. In the mirror the wake up to what needs changing...
Rather than EXTERNAL motivation via chastisment, he opens people to see themselves so that when they change personally. They don't change for HIM, they change for themselves. Then the change is real for them. They have come to see who THEY are and they change because they WANT to. They outgrow their unhealthy behaviour because they are compelled from within to become there best.
It's an intrinstic motivation that he fosters - by being strong, focused, and passionate about his philosophy... He's more like a pide-piper leader singing his tune of prosperity from the front rather than stopping the bickering for his tune to be sung just to one being. He sings and shine and flows...and trust everyone to grow - he believes in their own ability to change rather than fix them.
I ponder if he knows and trusts that things will unravel, that goodness prevails... And that we are all joyfully growing in the best ways we can.
Having been a counsellor for nearly 2 decades - I frequently see how clients who are transforming attack and attack and attack personally when they are changing. Their attack is often an indication of the huge transformation that is about to take place. Jung says that it takes a huge amount of aggression at times to break through past programming... So in a way it's exciting to see the anger and upset - it just shows the breakthrough that is about to take place. All that's happening is that the energy is growing for the breakthrough.
It takes a lot of force and power to slash the shains that binds us. Some people know how to get energy positively, and others only know how to do that with attack. It would be nice if it was kind... eh?
While it looks like a negative vacuum - I think it's Love getting the energy to see itself! xoxox
Randy, you sir are in no way a person who should be mentoring anyone in personal growth. You should be able to stand up to my attacks and defend my right to be different. You won't.
You will tell me, I have no right to make personality comments, then you do to it to me and let others. I did attack you, but in some ways I think we can agree that is different, it is your site and you can edit comments you want.
You are not a happy and prosperous person, you are mean spirited. I am sorry I had any faith in you at all. I did want to learn from you. Now, I don't know. How can you pass off what you have done here as helpful?
I realize you think everything is about you, but if you look through this whole series, you will find nothing anywhere with me attacking you personally. Nothing. When I talk about comments or reactions of readers, it appears you feel so guilty you see it as a personal attack. I would never do that to you or anyone else on this blog. I'm looking for discourse or even spirited debate on the issues, not slander against individuals.
Just a thought: you could vehemently disagree with something here and state that without all these personal insults and attacks. You could say, "I think that idea is crazy and here's why..." Or "That argument makes no sense because..."
When you can learn to do that, your viewpoints will get taken a lot more seriously, because you'll be debating the issues with critical thinking skills instead of the name calling and personal disparagement. Just a thought...
-RG
Randy,
You can fool some of the people some of the time, but you cannot fool all of the people all of the time.
There are truths and lies all in one in this comment. That is why these conversations are difficult and confusing. Half Truths are always worse than a complete lie.
I will be a monkey's uncle if this was not at least in part a reaction to my arguments and comments from the previous posts. You can say anything you would like, you are not going to get me to believe it is not.
I will claim my mistakes and do most of the time, and you know it. I have used I feel statements and you know it.
We do not have the benefit of personally knowing each other so sometimes it is difficult to discern in what way some comments are intended. That is at least some of the problem sometimes.
I see you as a guide and mentor. It is you that usually gets my out of control anger and insults. I do project onto you. If you are not ready to do group therapy stop trying. You cannot be both participant and leader and do each successfully.
Look back a couple of posts at how nice Sean was with my bad behavior. He didn't let me off the hook, he didn't say what I did was okay but he had empathy. EMPATHY.
When I see mean personal things to you, which, is not all the time, it comes from a dark place in me that needs to be inspected with a light. Yes, I feel bad when it happens. If you are the great mentor Natalie says, why don't you just say something helpful? There is a fine line my friend between tough love and being hateful. You have to know when to be gentle and when to be firm and when to combine the two.
We are dealing with two different issues. ONE:Our Relationship to each other on this blog. TWO:Whether or not you are being misleading in your attemp to be inspiring others self growth.
I get angry when I lay my soul vulnerable only to find out that what I say, might be construed as agreeing with some crazy idea about altruism and selfishness. With these lasts posts it is hard to see the forest for the trees. I see the trees and the forest, and I think despite some of my more irrational posts, I did a damn good job explaining why I felt that way. NO comment from you. You should have commented not because I just wanted your attention, but because you really should have. I made excellent points on this post about why I felt you were wrong. You did not say a peep, you just were content to let others insult me. That hurt, that caused me to cry, because sometimes I'm stupid enough to think you might be my friend.
I beg for your attention sometimes it is true, but I have been working on not doing it. I will own that. I will own that I take things personally when I shouldn't sometimes. But I will not own being wrong about this post being partly directed toward me, because I feel to state otherwise would be a prevarication.
So sorry if I hurt your feelings Randy. I sometimes look at you as being impervious to my insults, because you seem so above the fray. I think he will see that nonsense for what it is.
When I make some claims though, I am being honest. It is not to hurt you it is to help you see something you are doing as not entirely loving. You want to help us so much, it only seems fair to help you sometimes too.
I have made many mistakes in my life for sure, some I have not and may never share here; it doesn't always seem safe. I feel guilty for them too, as I should. Don't tell me, I know. I also assert my right to make mistakes and learn from them, as everyone should have that right.
You are usually very kind to me Randy, when I have made life not that easy for you, so thank you. Sometimes, I do think you have written things because you thought it might make me happy as well as others. For instance, the time you used the feminine pronoun, I thought that was very sweet. Also, the picture of Prague, it made me cry, in a good way. Even if you weren't thinking of me a little when you did those things, I loved them.
Annie
PS Look at the good work Victoria and I did on this blog. It isn't an entirely toxic blog. She and I argued came to our own conclusions and made up. I really like that woman, I understand her anger with me, just as I understand my own. Anyway, we did good and added peace, love and understanding in the world.
Annie,
Oh dear Annie!!!
RG is VERY clear on what comments are allowed: "fun, brilliant, add to the dialogue." That may be a brilliant guide for us all, eh?
Write out our comments and before hitting enter ask ourselves: "does this add, is it fun, brilliant, and critical to promote our greatness?" THen we can ALL come to the blog KNOWING that we're giving our best and creating an atmosphere and space that we can be known as inspirational, creative, amazing, and leaders that touch, uplift and transform lives. That people can come here KNOWING they're going to be treated with respect and honoured (INCLUDING RG!!!!!!)... That we honour the qualities of prosperity - which for me are loving, open, fresh, curious, accepting, playful, vulnerable, empathic, caring, courageous, intentional...
What's your intent when you come here annie? Often it feels thtat you're here to cause a storm, and create hate. That may have been your past Annie - but it doesn't have to be your future. You can choose to be Great.
You have greatness in you. At some point rather than wishing RG gave YOU attention, you'll begin to give yourself the attention you want from him. You'll feed yourself with greatness, and stop begging it from him, and giving to yourself. You'll selifishly realise that attacking him is only attacking yourself. And that YOU are the one who has to give to you, to save you, to touch your own life... And at that point.. you may begin to ponder...
I'm getting excited that at some point you'll begin to ask yourself
*who am I attacking? (because it is not Randy really - it may feel real - but look deeper and further back in your life)
*who am I hating? (RG has done nothing here but serve - who is it who's upset you in your life that you are now taking it out on Randy?)
*Who lied to you that makes you think Randy is lying? (He has a statement that he said the first week I spoke with him: "I will never knowingly lie to you." I promise you that's true for you too Annie - so check in when you think he's lying, because it's the anger you feel from someone else that you put on him - I bet!)
* who gave you half truths Annie = because RG is pretty clear with his thinking? Who have you put onto him that is NOT who he is?
* who is the one wanting group therapy? - Randy has DONE that already... he doesn't want it now, that's why he doesn't leap in. Who's the one needing to own stuff rather than project it?
* DO you notice the double binds you create: "leap in and I make you wrong, don't leap in and I attack you for not commenting?" Either way RG can not win in your mind. Why do you want him to fail Annie? Who is it that you wish had failed? That you wanted to hurt for getting at you? That you felt betrayed by and could never fully show your hurt to? When you deal with it Annie you'll be so gloriously free.... I PROMISE Randy does not want to get at you. There are times I've thought he wanted to get at me. It NEVER was true. When he DOES want to get at me he'll say "Go check I wrote a blog for you" or he'll let me know clearly when I'm not doing what I need to be doing! Lol!
*why if someone gives you attention are they good? MANY people don't and they are good... and they add peace/love/understanding? Do they have to communicate with YOU for that to happen? RG does that DAILY with his blog - yet in your attack and insults you MISS his intention of giving value... Why do you see his intention ALWAYS or MOSTLY as wrong? Who is it that wronged you that you WISHED could give you the right attention? It's not RG I promise you!
* Who's the one who's trying to be participant and leader? Who's the one who's trying to control who speaks, how they speak, what they say, who they communicate with, which words are okay for RG to use, what's okay and what's not okay, who's commenting on everything and lashing out to get attention and say which posts are right or not?
Annie, I laughed when you wrote that you consider Randy a friend!! What is a FRIEND to you? Someone who you shit all over and they take it like a doormat. Someone who you treat badly and they never react? Someone who's there for you no matter what? Paulo Coelho says that a true friend is not someone who's there in your worst (that's someone who's toxic who feeds off your weakness) but someone who celebrate joy with you - laughs, delights, and enjoys your Greatness.
Do you truly consider yourself a friend? are you loving, treasuring, kind? Would YOU want to be friends with YOU if you treated you like you treat Randy?
You are audacious in your awesomeness!!!! I don't even consider myself to be Randy's friend. He would NEVER hang out here with me, he'd never come to see me even if he's in the same country, he'd never walk over to say hi to me even if I'm in the same room as him. He'd never call to ask for my advice. He'd never call to tell me his secrets, he'd never call to share his ups and downs with me. He's not my friend. It's not a mutual relationship. I'm not that arrogant to assume it's a close friendship - I can WISH it was more, but I don't deserve it. It's unlikely that I'll ever be his friend. When I get to where he is in his being, thinking, doing, having he'll be 100% more amazing... I've seen him change in the 10 years I've known him each and every year... As I change so does he. I'm under no illusion that I'll ever be close to him. Sure he loves me. But I'm not a friend. He has 3/4 friends maybe 5. Real friends... I'm not one of them. I'm not worthy of being one of them - I'm a pain in the arse a lot of the time to him!!!!! And I can imagine him laughing - because when I tell him he's not my friend, he's telling others he is!!!!! And I'm grateful because I haven't been awesome enough to be his friend... One day... When I become the Greatness that he sees me as when I forget who I can be! Cos we have a laugh and enjoy each other... But now I'm still too distorted in my thinking and being to host his heart and life... I've got a lot of growing to do til then...
Regarding licking his arse - a mutual friend of mine and RG asked me to lick his ear, does that count???!!!!! LOL!
One final thought... MY dear friend Bob Burg always says: CHECK YOUR PREMISES then you're on the same page... So, what is a guide and a mentor for you?
For me - it's someone who leads the way, and a mentor is someone to shows me the path because they've done it already. It's someone I learn from, respect, and earn their time from because I'm applying what they teach the best I can...
Where did you come to think that you are entitled to attack and treat him like shit? PArt of that entitlement is out of a victim mentality - that you feel you are owed and deserving of something when you aren't. He owes you nothing! He offers things out of goodness...
Who showed you that attacking those who are good to you is how to be? It's not fair, right or healthy!
Where did you learn that because someone is in a leadership position they deserve to be attacked? Who taught you that those in authority are objects for projections and can just be attacked?
Where did you learn that a mentor is also a therapist and trained to give emotional healing? And take transferance?
Randy isn't trained as a therapist. He's simply a high school drop out who had a drug problem who totally transformed his life, got out of being a victim and decided to evolve into his highest potential in every way possible. If you'd like to achieve your potential in every way possible this is the blog for you...
If not... I ponder if you're in the right place? xoxo
I hadn't read this one, when I wrote my last comment. Natalie, excuse me, but what the hell?
If Randy knows you and talks to you, and wouldn't acknoweledge you in a crowd, I would call that man a horses back end. EWWW! I wouldn't care to know him if he was like that. Who does he think he is the Millonaire Messiah? (That's a joke) Randy is a person Natalie. If he is really like that, which I know we don't know maybe, then he is not a very nice one, or an exteremely narcissitic one at best.
If you think you are not enough yet to be his friend, you are sadly mistaken, and if he thinks that, he is mistaken too.
Honestly, and you will find this extremely arrogant I suppose, I am not sure Randy is worthy of my friendship. How's that grab ya?
It kinda graps me as sad Annie - why would you want to manipulate everything anyone says into something they didn't say to prove your point that they are awful when you don't know him? Hmmm....
What's intersting to me is you avoid all accountability for your actions (blaming him, others, or saying you righteously are proud of being arrogant and honest), yet you do not respond to ANY queries on why you are here, what energy you'd like to create here, what gives you the right to treat him like shit, and why you ONLY choose to REACT rather than learn?
I guess your BEHAVIOUR speaks volumes - the ONLY thing you are going to do is attack him.
Just so I'm clear... and I hope you get it now: Annie - you twist words to make YOUR point - to prove your distorted reality that he's a terrible, arrogant man. That's NOT my reality!!!! I love Randy dearly and am highly and heavenly grateful. I'm so aprpeciate that hes in my life. He's amazing... and you can be happy and joyful too to be here rather than demanding, and violating. It's an honour to be on this blog - not your RIGHT. Instead you come here being entilted, angry, aggresive, catty, bitchy and looking for the worst!!!!
I NEVER said he didn't acknowledge me. He acknowledges me everytime he sees me with beaming smiles, joyful welcoming, humour, warmth and authenticity. He jokes with me, and makes everyone laugh at my silly ways with me. In a room of 5000 people he does not look for me and come to find me to ensure I'm okay. He KNOWS I'll find him if I need him and if I don't we'll email which is quieter and easier for him with masses around. When there are hundreds of people trying to get some of him he doesn't come to worry over me. I respect his time and space a lot. When we get a chance we touch base and I feel special and adored - as does he! At big events he's having to meet lines of people who all want bits of him... He's having photo's taken at every second, signing books, meeting people, answering questions, hearing stories... and so gracious to everyone. Giving them everything they need! It's a LOT! And must be draining and exhausting. At those events I am not thinking "what can he do for me?" but I ponder "what might RG need from me to make his time easier and happier?" or "is there anything I could ask him to record for others that would inspire them and touch their lives" so when we do have time together I utilise it to make a difference... He's VERY generous like that!
At any break if I'm in the same area we chat if he has the time, energy, and space... he does videos for my kids and my fb group... he's generous hearted and sweet. When he's leading, hosting, speaking, and running an event he doesn't have TIME to socialise... He's rushing, organising, sorting things out, presenting.
You missed my point of RESPECT and high regard for a mentor vs assuming a right to be a friend when that is not the function of our relationship (he called to be my MENTOR, not my friend. I am truly BLESSED and honoured, and grateful, I don't assume to be more than that!) You manipulated it into your distorted reality of DISRESPECT and attack where you feel entitled to assume you can take and demand friendship like it's your right - where in fact that's something that's given out of mutual joy and delight. WOW!
You want him to be a friend when you choose to see him as a horses end, arrogant, not nice, narcisstic and stinky - rather than understanding the motive, the time constraints, the work, leadership, the admiration, treasuring... Why do you always go to see the worst Annie? Why come here if you don't want to learn from him and want to find ways and reasons to hate him, rather than unlearn your own self-hatred? Why are out out to prove hers an arsehole?
I guess if your reality of yourself is such - that is ALL you can see in others.
Annie,
You know at times I have challenges with Randy - and I'll say to him "Randy, When x/y happened I was hurt, I feel unmet and unheard... " Or whatever... And he'll share what he thinks, and we'll go on back and forth until we resolve things. And he'll use humour and make me laugh... and show me how I can relate with lightness and not be so caught in drama/victim cycles. He shows me how I can be more peaceful, loving and strong in relationships - without being so reactive when I disagree with him. SO I can understand the challenges that you have... He'll even joke with me... call me names to make me laugh so I break out of my resistance and stuckness. I'm grateful for him doing this - because it teaches me how to do this for myself. He highlights when I'm stuck, so I can become aware for myself when I'm stuck and get out of it.
I'm aware you sometimes don't notice you're stuck in an abusive comment - it just comes out and you can't stop it. You only realise afterwards. That must be hard to see afterwards you doing that... and being cruel and harsh without being able to stop yourself. This doesn't make you a bad person - you wouldn't be here if you weren't a bad person. You're here because you want to learn how to come right - to be open, loving, amazing and all you can be in life. Though sometimes the way you have been treated comes flooding out without you knowing how to change it...
I can understand that at times you don't feel love, and maybe you see the love that some of us feel here from Randy and you want that too - and not having that is sore and hard for you. And when you're stressed or oversensitive that comes out in judgment rather than saying how you feel hurt, unloved, uncared for and unmet. It's okay to say "I feel desperately wanting attention, I feel needy and want more..." Tho insulting Randy personally is not okay. I know it might be hard to see that in the moment. That maybe they feel like the same thing... And that you're justified in your attack. You are not. It is not okay to attack Randy. He's a generous soul who writes her to serve others because he's a good, kind man. He has tremendous integrity and is someone who truly wants to (and DOES) make a huge difference. You wonder why we come out to share her goodness? You see - when I go off the rails and forget myself he'll call me to remind me how I can break through. Or he'll say "I wrote a blog for you - check it out..." or he'll twitter me a comment with love so I stay on track. He's ALWAYS reminding me where I'm slipping up, and where I'm great. That he believes in me. FOR FREE. He doesn't get paid to love me. He does it simply because he's a good man. Even tho sometimes I think differently/wrongly/distortedly when i'm feeling insecure - that I couldn't imagine that he'd give so much time and effort to me for nothing. In those times I burst into tears and he reminds me how much he cares for nothing, just because he sees greatness in me... and it thrills him to see me living that. I have never had such love - so consistently without punichment, rejections, cruelty, silent treatment, abuse... (apart from my kids) so it's feels like it's been forever for me to actually allow him to love me, and give to me... It takes a lot for me to let him in. So when you do attack him - I do feel enraged because you don't see how sweet he is. And you treat him like an object of your projections, rather than a human being - who feels, has a heart, who cares and loves a lot. Annie - he even cares a lot about you! Which is why he doesn't remove you... He understands you - because he was there once... He was in that victim space and grew out of it...
I know it's hard to trust him, and his ways. I know he speaks in passionate and wild language that you seem to react to and find hard when you take personally. That reaction is your gift to show you the edges that still need loving in you. They aren't the things to attack Randy for. He communicates like that to trigger the beliefs that hold you back. It's purposeful to SERVE you, not to piss you off!
I see writing on this blog is hard for you. I see you haven't been taught how to own what you feel and express yourself without attack. That must be hard now having had those role models to show you... You haven't been taught how to relate without insult, blame, attack, judgment, and resentments...
You read something of Randy's and take it personally and react. You then reread what you write and realise that it's attacking but you feel justified because he attacked you (when he hasn't and won't).
Then because you have attacked Randy personally others come to show the other side to balance that out (a natural and normal equilibriation process) - to bring correction to your harsh attacks that are not based on a reality of knowing, meeting or loving Randy - but on your assumptions, personal insecurities, and need for attention.
When you don't get that attention you go more negative and attack him in every response you can. Even if the person is saying NOTHING about Randy - you bring it into the conversation to attack him personally. It's like you don't mind what attention you get - you just are gagging for attention for him - whether its positiv eor negative you don't mind. You just need a fix of him. Then you settle for a while- until you need the next dose.
I'm wonder here if you can learn to speak in ownership - I language? It may help to get the book "How to Speak so Kids will Listen and Listen so kids will speak." By Faber and Malzish. It shows you how to go from reaction into feelings, ownership, and healthy expression.
I use this book for teaching parenting classes - and it's great for parents who were not allowed feelings and weren't allowed to express what they feel, and thus don't have a feeling language and don't know how to discuss what's happening for them without reaction.
ONe final thought is this. Randy is the most loving person I know. Hands down. His love isn't always NICE, comfortable and easy. It's very tough at times. And only because he knows that sometimes i do things that sabotage myself and he gives me the strength I need for both of us, until I've stopped wobbling and grown it in myself.
When he's TOUGH loving sometimes it hurts me - and I share that. He reminds me that he loves me. And I get to see that because I'm hurting it's often because of the pain or yuck stuff that happened to me as a kid and I'm projecting it onto him. He holds me in his heart and reminds me that it's not that, and he has my greatness at stake, and he believes in me. While my mother - for instance - finds it hard to celebrate my Greatness, Randy consistently and strongly reminds me of who I am.
In my distorted thinking I might get angry with Randy about something - and he;ll break it down to show me that my thinking is wrong. I'm okay with being wrong - when I see it not serving me...
One thing I've struggled with is letting Randy love me. Because I didn't always feel loved in childhood learnign to RECEIVE his love has ben challenging. I fight him off in my mind, rather than relax into it. When he tells me he does sometimes I used to think "you're just saying that to make me feel better" Maybe you have this too? Maybe because you can't receive love because you didn't get it you constantly push, attack, argue to keep people away to prove that you are unlovable? I promise you it feels SO much better to let others in...
Growing up with a single mother of 4 kids we were more used to fighthing for attention than getting it normally. I've had to reparent myself, and learn to parent properly to break out of those unhealthy cycles. And I know that you can do this too Annie...
I know you can let go of your addiction to drama/bad treatment/victim mentality to be treated well, happily, lovingly, amazingly and celebrated for your gifts and contribution, rather than condemned for your attacks and negativity.
Annie - my request of you is that you comes to the blog with an attitude of learning - when you're open you can allow change in. When you're being right about how wrong everyone is you get attacked - and that reaffirms how unloved and worthless you are.
On this blog we see you Annie, and we see beyond your bullshit - we hear your cry for help. And ultimately only YOU can help yourself. EVERYONE here comes to learn. Not to be attacked or defend Randy.
I wonder how you could assist in creating an envirnment of learning here? Or growing?
I know when people have been taught that their feelings are wrong that it's hard to be vulnerable and attack sustains that stances of courage. One of the most courageous things people can do is to be vulnerable and share "I feel scared, I feel needy, I feel unwanted and undeveloped..." The people can love you for your honesty and authenticity... Rather than you attacking the love you feel jealous of - which pushes it away even more!!!! We all want the best for you... I hope you can let in the gift this is... Loads of love to you Annie...
Natalie,
See my above comments to Randy.
Your friend Sean, and I have to really laugh at my silly self now for thinking he was Randy, is very sweet. He did a great job of helping me out of an uncomfortable spot! You are lucky to know two very nice men.
I use to look every now and then at our conversation on that 2010 post. It was a good conversation, and sometimes I play that Katy Perry song!
Annie
Annie,
I'd love you to read this again and again... And hear what you learnt from it rather than dismiss it because it's getting you to reflect at things that may be painful...
I'd love you to hear the love here for you... and also the VERY strong request that you own your stuff... Yes selfishly for us who love coming here, AND for YOU. hen you'd come home to you - and begin to totally love you as you awaken to all of you!
Randy is human... When I attack him he defends. It's normal and naturally response.
When I am needy and demanding it's draining and sticky yuck. No one wants to be around me at those times.
When I am boldly, openly and gloriously sharing authentically about myself, my challenges and my learnings and asking him what's next for me - and coming to him with a BIG heart, and VERY open mind he'll say (for example) "I find it's good to ask 'what am I holding onto that may be holding me back?'"
If you want his attention I find I have to DESERVE it. Things that worked for me: Be open. Be receptive. Be willing to learn.
Sean is ALL of those things. Can he call me day or night for love, friendship, advice, or to share something? Yes - even at 3am. Which is when he tends to call! And he knows that because he comes to me in cherishing that no matter what time he calls EVER in 2 decades I will ALWAYS be kind, loving, and happy to hear from him. Even at 2am!!! Maybe if you chose a knew attitude and came in with an open mind RG would give you insights and attention... right now you don't seem ready, willing or able to receive his goodness....
And maybe one day soon Annie you'll be willing to let in enough joy to see that RG is a good man, with a good heart who gives daily to you JUST in writing this blog. I wonder if you changed your perspective to thinking "because Randy loves me he writes this blog nearly every day. Aren't I lucky to be loved this much?" And each time you react you could think: "is this NOW I'm reacting too, or the distorted thinking I was programmed into. RG is a loving man, would someone who is loving me write this to hurt me? Would someone with a deep faith and commitment to Greatness want to put me down? How is he challenging me to wake up? What is he asking me to love and heal in myself so I can open to more goodness?"
Natalie,
I don't know where I should be replying anymore, but this is my last post this evening. Thank you if you are trying to help me, but I just don't want it, not now, maybe never. I mean I don't want this conversation with you, please lets just say goodnight and sweet dreams. This isn't prosperous, and it is probably making Randy nauseated. :) So, Take Care Lady Okay? Have a good rest of the weekend with no worries.
Annie
I won't add much here because I came in a bit late in the discussion(was on a selfish vacation - which I also treated my kids to!) - and there have been some great comments here already, but ...
I used to be this kind of crazy ... in fact I was the 'saver of the world' for about 47 years - and it really never got me or (more importantly) the people I wanted to serve/save to a better place.
Not to prosperity.
Not to health.
Not to peace.
It simply just fueled the cycle of broken/need to be fixed - broken worse/need to be fixed more.
It wasn't until about a year ago that I finally decided that helping others at the delay of taking care of MYSELF was not working!!! What was amazing was that once I began to become 'self-ful' (putting myself at the top of my own list and taking care of my needs so others wouldn't have to) that many of those around me whom I was so busy 'helping' before sat up and took notice.
When I started caring for my own health - suddenly, my kids wanted to eat the good stuff I was! Once I got my act together, my friends quit feeling sorry for themselves and began asking me what I was doing differently so that they could get their own lives on track.
Well ... either that or they simply slipped away and latched onto others who would still indulge their 'stuckness'. :)
This is a simple, but fierce world we live and play in. There are prizes as big as your mind and heart can imagine, but you have to have the guts, the spirit and the discipline to go after what you want. No one else is going to do it for you. The best part is,when you start to reap the rewards, it feels AMAZING to be able to share that with others from a place of abundance, not because your identity of 'world's greatest giver' needs polishing!
Take care of yourself first, not instead, of others - this alone will transform the planet!
K
Yes no one can disagree with that philosophy. No hidden agenda. Good for you, Kimbralee.
People need to hear that, not that they are crazy, for certain beliefs. And yes, yes you are talking about the unhealthy side of feeling that one must save the world. You are not calling people who do good selfless acts lunatics.
However, our holy mentor has run amuck, and gone political and not to mention been just plain mean spirited.
I just finished getting my home off-grid and buying my first electric car is next. The day I allow Randy to dictated if I am worthy because of how much things I have,that's the day I gave up my rational thinking.
Anyone that doesn't think like you is part of the herd.
A nurse is part of the herd because she doesn't have passive income.
Your softballs friends are losers because they are not millionaries
the counselor that help break your negative pattern is a loser.
the doctor that saved your life when you were shot.
Just irrational beliefs because you know how to make money passively.
Why haven't you manifested a private jet? Maybe,because it is not important to you.
Why would I want to travel around the world and not see my daughter?so I can more money. Different values.
You are part of the herd because you believe your thoughts--as though your thoughts are the ultimate reality.
Have you ever question what is beyond beliefs (a bunch of thoughts)?
At first, I felt kinda bad for Randy when I read this. Now all I have to say is GO ENRIQUE! And on a personal note do you think we should just get away from reading this material?
Annie
Randy,what about Jesus?Is he the ideal human being for you?What role does Christ have in your life?Just curious
Mo if you follow the blog you'll see what role Jesus plays in my life. You may want to start with the post here: http://www.randygage.com/blog/jesus-is-coming-and-he-looks-pissed/
-RG
You know the curious thing about your position on Christ is mostly that you dislike the Christian Fundamentalists.
Randy you are a fundamentalist. Not a Christian fundamentalist, but right wing, Libertarian fundamentalist. Look at how many of your beliefs are fundamental. I am sure will not see but, I do.
I still believe you hold Christian values. But are you sure you have interpreted them correctly. Christ was not a fundamentalist, many of his thoughts and practices were paradoxical.
Ask yourself, would Christ be for or against universal health care? If you could just sit and talk with him, imagine. Christ, not the church, not religion. Jesus the philosopher and teacher. Pretend you have a one on one class together. We still don't have to agree, but I bet you will find an incongruency there. If you don't fine. Maybe Jesus would agree with you. But maybe not.
Randy you are good guy, Iv'e been bad mostly, not you. I need to revisit the self discipline posts. :)
Annie,
I read your posts on "Jesus" blog...., you were great!!!
Talking about logic....you have it!!!
Victoria
Thank you Victoria. I appreciate that.
Annie
Victoria, We did a fine job arguing together and I consider you friend, whether we agree on everthing or not. I like it better when we agree though! :)
Annie
Annie,
Like I wrote before...,
You are a smart cookie!
And it also takes one with passion to recongnize the passion of the other...
....Therefore, friends we are!
But don't think that I wont's bite back....And do expect you to do the same....preferably without emotions :)
But in case..., I'll be wearing my Russian armor :)
Agreeing is okay..., but learning most of the time takes divergence....
All is well!
Love and light to you... (and I always mean it..., sarcasm is not my thing).
Victoria
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Nice manipilation of Mother Theresa's quote.to quote Mother Teresa herself, “To be able to give, you must have.” You know she meant love in the action service. You are funny. Your teachings on prosperity give a different look. But again just a look. So folk take what is useful and leave the rest alone. Randy is just a man with weakness's and strengths like everyone else. Prosperity is our birthright with or without Randy Gage!You gotta respect em though he gets u going and thinking! But he just plays a small world in the unlimited world of wealth doing and thinking!!
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