T’was the Night Before Christmas, 2009

this is the best I am still laughing: “Christmas” “God” and “Jesus” are registered trademarks of the Amway Corporation; all rights reserved.

Hi Randy! Thanks for the hilarious satire on the FTC regs! LOL :-) Please note: attribution of this post is not authorized and any attempt to link my comments to me, my family, any of my facebook friends or twitter followers will be disavowed. In such a egregious situation I will take any and all actions necessary to preserve and protect whatever is left of my personal dignity. But I agree with you totally Hahahaha :-) Merry whatever-it-is we’re allowed to call it. Kent

[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by . said: [...]

You’re always besides us and fill our hearts all the best feeling as well as wisdom. Thanks for what you are doing. Wishing you all the best to your life. Merry Christmas & Happy New Year to Randy! Love.

…when out on the lawn there arose such a racket,
I shook with excitement and reached for a jacket.
I looked out the window but saw nothing there,
I think old St. Nick must be around here somewhere.

I ran out the door to see my lawn’s blanket of white,
the street lights were dim, there was no one in sight.
I heard a rustling in the trees nearby,
so I lifted my head and my eyes toward the sky.

The sound that I heard was hilarious, sir,
it was old St. Nick caught in the tall fir!
The sled was all tangled, the deer ran amuck,
to my surprise, albeit relief, here came the fire truck!

We lifted them up and out of the tree ,
inside they came for a cup of hot tea.
The jolly man thanked me for saving the night
then he wiped off his chin and kissed me good night.

I heard the old man sing with glee and delight,
Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

When out on the lawn, arose such a racket;
I jumped for my 9mm, thought I heard a crack-head.
Away to the peep-hole I looked through and through;
Tore open the door to get a better view.

The moon was New and street lamps above, casting strange shadows array;
From around the house in the corner of my eye, saw a hurried fellow fly by.
I must go investigate, for I must know, why.. or who;
Oh wait, thats just the neighbor the Jew.

His foot prints from my front lawn, I cursed and I fussed;
That bastard, so stupid, Why? what was his just.
Went back to my door confused and dischevelled, he seemed such a twit;
Where upon the top step he had mysteriously left a great gift.

So I breathed in relief, for my neighbor he’s new;
With this economey so uneasy I would have never knew.
His kindness and openess for if he had been caught;
Between us just strangers, there we would have fought.

A gift from a neighbor/a stranger it’s true;
He opened his heart to someone he never knew.
My heart filled with joy, so I put the 9mm away;
I sat aside my differences for tomorrow would dawn a new day.

*I would just like to say I myself am Agnostic. My mother converted to Judaism 13 years ago before marying her last husband and giving birth to my little brother, who is of course Jewish. I have nothing against the Jewish faith, and did not mean to imply anything by the above.

Happy Holidays to all, and to all a good night!

;) Jamie

Dear Randy

HAPPY CHRISTMAS! AND I WISH FOR YOU THESE 4 WONDERFULL ITEMS
A) $100,000 cash;
B) My Viper SRT;
C) A night of hot steamy sex with me; or,
D) Honorable mention in the next blog post

CHEERS

MOJGAN

…when out on the lawn there arose such a racket,
Obama & Santa were holding a packet,
A ho ho ho and a yes we can
Said Santa the white man and the man with a tan

We’ll do it together, make everything right,
What happened next, gave me a fright
Out of the darkness the Grinch appeared
Laughing & joking, he tugged Santas beard

There was no letting go, the Grinch held on tight,
“Halt” said Obama, ” Please cease this fight”,
Then out of the dark 2 Bushes appear
George seniour & junior, spreading good cheer

We all are alike, no matter our skin,
You just have to look to the heart within
And right before them landed a dove,
Spreading the spirit of peace and love

Out on the lawn, no longer a racket,
They all stood together and opened the pakket
When seeing it’s contents, eyes shining bright,
They were joined as one, that Christmas night.

When out on the lawn there arose such a racket….
Did the music remind me of old Hinge and Bracket?
I ran to the window..it was foggy…not clear…
Cant they leave me alone at this time of year..?

Everyone jolly….eating and shopping
Dont bother me or call I wont be stopping
To listen to your cheer or try to be funny
I am going to bed to dream of my money….

But before I could move the room it felt cold
I wanted to move but a voice said be told
Take a look at yourself and the way that you think
Be positive..be well otherwise you will sink

I dont understand you..I have enough to get by
I want you to go..you are making me cry
Enough to get by dont make me laugh
What about living..an adventure..go see a giraffe

Those things arent for me not at this stage
I think you should start to read Randy Gage.
Can he change Christmas can he give me wealth
He can show you how..but you do it yourself.

It starts in your mind ..throw out all the doubt
Believe in yourself..dance sing and shout
Get out on the lawn and join in the racket
They’re all millionaires..theyre worth quite a packet….

I listened to Randy a long time ago
I changed my lifestyle and dispelled all the woe
Being successfull I am so full of cheer
I had to stop by and wish you Happy Christmas
and avery Prosperous New Year……

Have a great time Randy…..love Angie xxx

The Night Before Christmas, 2009
(With profound apologies to Clement Clarke Moore and his estate)

‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the U.S.;
The economy was tanking, and things were a mess.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care;
Hoping for coal, because the fuel tanks were bare.

The government health care plan wasn’t looking like a winner;
Resembling nine wolves and a sheep, voting on what’s for dinner.
The media had all the meaty issues it could handle;
Keeping their focus on the Tiger sex scandal.

When out on the lawn, arose such a racket;
‘Tis the deafman, fighting the ugly collectivisms.
Libertarianism beating in ‘is heart;
as he sprays the Light of Libertarianisms to the people.

And the forces of collectivisms falls before the onslaught;
As the people awaken to the lies of collectivisms.
And begins their new lives in the light of Libertarianism;
And a new glory of Libertarianisms shone on a planet of freedom-loving people.

considering my vocation, I had to post an entry here even though it’s not a true entry into this contest – this version was written by my contest buddy Hope, ENJOY!:

twas the night before christmas
and all through the house
the only critter stirring was me
and not even the mouse

the stockings were hung by the chimney with care
filled to the brim with prize winnings fair
the children were nestled all snugs in their beds
while visions of what mommy would win danced in their heads

and me in my jamas and on the lap top
i had settled down to do those last minute contest top ups
when out of the lawn there arose such a clatter
i sprung from my chair to see what was the matter

away to the window i flew like a flash
tore open the shutters and threw up the sash
what to my wondering eyes did appear
a miniature sleigh and 8 reindeer

the driver of course had to be st nick
cause he looked at me and winked
said, ‘go to bed girl, contests can wait
next year will be many more you can partake’

‘go get some rest, take it easy on your hands
dream of assorted goodies and exotic lands
from monthlies, to weeklies, dailies and more
but remember…you can’t win them all’

but know that you can’t win if you don’t enter
work at it hard and you will be a mentor
to help others to win as you will too
merry christmas to you and all contestors afoot!

When out on the lawn, arose such a racket;
A guy in Taiwan read and watch in his black jacket!
He wanted to join this intellectual chat;
And the muse in him runs like a back street rat

Twas the night before Christmas and he’s not in U.S.;
A million miles apart yet his world were also a mess.
He may speak a different language and have a different name;
but the connection came and was as surreal as a virtual game.

The people is all crying for help and looking for hope;
And for ways, ideas and methods to cope;
How can we break free from this deteriorating norms;
So we can LIVE OUT OUR LIFE freely in whatever forms!

The truth is really the same here, there and anywhere;

So by all means do share, care or simply be aware;

Because Twas the night before Christmas everywhere!

Loved your books, and liked your blog
Bless and prosper
Joy and peace
with love
Cheers

Thank you for the smiles this morning, Randy…
and a very Merry Christmas!!

Randy….. too funny! LOVE that disclaimer….hahaha!!
Now, to get to work on that poem….

When out on the lawn, arose such a racket;
It was Gage who was saying, the formula he did crack it,
Don’t just grind away doing your 9 to 5,
For this was the worst way to try and stay alive.

Think positive, stand tall, do not live in distress,
We have the best way to achieve your success,
With belief and strong will we can show you the way,
To turn bad fortune as you see it into pay day,

Join us in our venture of well being and health
Join us in our venture of creating great wealth,
Suck it up and deliver your story with pride,
for if you decide to join us we will stand by your side,

We will show you our way of leverage and teaching,
Of how one person can have a business far reaching,
And earn while they sleep from places afar,
While they sleep in a warm bed under their lucky star.

Do not fear our story as it is proven to be true,
And on the night before Christmas it can happen for you!

There was Randy Gage
In a brand new jacket

Jingle Bell earrings
And a flashing light tie
It left me speechless
Oh my, what a guy

He decked out his Bentley
And filled it with toys
Of course model cars
For the girls and the boys

He knew the adults
Needed much more
Safe Is the New Risky
By their front door

As Randy road off
On this Christmas Eve
I could hear him shout
It made me believe

Ho! Ho! Ho!
Cash Flow class it is right
Happy Holidays to all
And to all a goodnight!

ROTFLMAO! This is the best post I have read this year!

When out on the lawn, arose such a racket;
….the’ve come for my house, I’ll just have to pack it.
Off to the airport I go in a tear,
Upon my return, my house not there.

I’ve worked all my life for someone not me,
Just to be flushed like a bowl full of pee.
No options, no future they hoped I would see,
but fools that they are there them and not me.

To start my own biz in times such a mess,
what was I thinking? of only success!
The past two years I’ve often been stumped,
if not for my family, I’d surely have jumped.

To give to my family is my only goal,
but old Uncle Sam gives nothing but coal.
So it’s just up to me to grow such a tree,
I’ll make it I’m sure, you’ll see you’ll see!

I may lose my house to the thieves in the night,
but my family is stronger, due to this plight.
We’ll find a new house if that’s what we must,
to lay down our bones, and not let them rust.

To stay in the game is the way to succeed,
and screw all the bankers … there so full of greed.
Politicians of the day are so fricking blind,
they do what they must to save their behind.

But surprise to them all they’ll find Christmas day,
there’s a movement within that wants it our way!
To grow for our family is all that we crave,
to sick it to them is the way we behave.

We grow by the masses and to their surprise,
they soon will ask for a fair compromise.
But they just offer volume to our issues at heart,
but we stick to our guns … we want a fresh start!

Joe Vizi

Randy, can’t u go to the government and have a few words, make them vote this bill down? I know u can do it, u just have to look deep down inside, and let the Jedi knight out!

think i will give it a shot -for the 3rd price only

‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the U.S.;
The economy was tanking, and things were a mess.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care;
Hoping for coal, because the fuel tanks were bare.

The government health care plan wasn’t looking like a winner;
Resembling nine wolves and a sheep, voting on what’s for dinner.
The media had all the meaty issues it could handle;
Keeping their focus on the Tiger sex scandal.

When out on the lawn, arose such a racket;
Santa dashed to the window hoping to tract it.
The racket was Serena’s and the point was hers too,
After choking an umpire who “had the wrong view”.

Santa looked at his list to check nice and naughty.
The nice list was not large, the other not paltry.
Santa felt hopey changy at the dawn of the year,
but t’was no longer true now that evening was near.

Sure, Sully had landed his plane in the waters,
and he saw Obama, his wife and his daughters.
But what began with such promise soon turned to mere ash
With Citibank and Chrysler both spending our cash.

Santa’s good list got lighter – though you’d better not pout –
When Jackson and Swayze both did dance out
Farrah, Soupy and Teddy went thru the same door
And no “rest of the story” will we hear any more.

With those giants gone, there’s always new buzz.
Kanye wasn’t so swift, but Taylor sure was.
Balloon boy, gate crashers and the Nobel Peace Prize,
The good and the bad will pass through our lives

Our friend Santa always makes two lists every year,
To find boys and girls, both naughty and dear.
But we must have faith he will do his job well.
Even more so to know that we will excel.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

I loved: “Christmas” “God” and “Jesus” are registered trademarks of the Amway Corporation; all rights reserved.

Thanks for the morning laugh. :o)

Hey Randy Claus! Here’s mine…..
=====
When out on the lawn there arose such a racket!
The herd’s cry had changed from “I like it!” to “I lack it!”

Scowling and howling, their voices were bitter.
“I’m entitled to win (even though I’m a quitter).”

Then what to my wondering eyes should appear
But a handsome young man who said “you have nothing to fear!”

“You create your own world,” he said with a smile
“I speak the truth, without malice or guile.”

“Problems are opportunities disguised in work clothes.
Your success is as plain as the front of your nose!”

But the herd wouldn’t listen — they hooted and booed.
(And some of their remarks were downright rude.)

But the man wasn’t shaken; he showed no dismay.
“A few people are listening, and that makes my day!”

As he hopped in his Viper and roared out of sight,
He promised one and all, “The future is bright!”

Then he added a wish, one that he held dear:
“Prosperity to all, and to all a great year!”
=====
Wishing you and all your friends the happiest of holidays, Randy!
jim

The Night Before Christmas, 2009
(With profound apologies to Clement Clarke Moore and his estate)

‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the U.S.;
The economy was tanking, and things were a mess.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care;
Hoping for coal, because the fuel tanks were bare.

The government health care plan wasn’t looking like a winner;
Resembling nine wolves and a sheep, voting on what’s for dinner.
The media had all the meaty issues it could handle;
Keeping their focus on the Tiger sex scandal.

When out on the White House lawn, there arose such a racket;
All the businessmen and thinkers had brought a straight jacket.
For every politician in Washington land;
So we could attend to the real issues at hand.

This Christmas would be different with real people in charge;
While America cheered for real change in the cards.
The liberal media was shut down for good;
While channels of prosperity were put where they stood.

First on the agenda was a term limit vote
It passed 100% and that’s all she wrote
One and you’re done that what the law said
Politicians were ousted with faces of red

Next we tried them for treason, something not heard in a while
All their big payoffs were brought up at the trial
Not one of them made it, all corrupt you see;
There was the biggest hanging ever on national TV.

Everyone got the picture, the people were back;
And it’s your own damn fault, if you’re living in lack.
People looking for handouts, we told to go to hell;
That was no longer an option, we took care of ourselves.

Capitalism ruled in the country once again;
And jobs weren’t farmed out to some foreign land.
The corruption was gone, the country was free;
Bailouts were over, the markets at peace.

America was back and old laws were repealed;
This change was good and the nation was healed.
All this seems a little too good to be true;
But hey this is Christmas it’s what I want don’t you.

I also want the 100 grand Mr. Gage;
I think that my poem will be all the rage.
I’m a generous man living the dream;
100 grand would really make me sing.

So I will leave all my contact info for you;
Then my christmas wish can really come true.
The check can be sent to the address below;
And my life will sure change with all of that dough.

Sam Patton
78 Meadow Ridge Dr.
Fort Valley, GA 31030
478-827-1587
sampatton@cprestorers.com

You Got it !!! haha ..

Universe provide capital for my new business venture which will impact many small business owners all over the Planet Earth,

Universe, Universe, Universe provide the solution.. provide it quickly because you know what it is worth.

It will save many businesses, families from despair,

Impacting and improving visions and mental repair.

It’s all about thought, the power to believe.

Believe, Believe, Believe with all your abilities.

The Universe will provide the answer immediately.

when out on the lawn there arose such a racket
I lept from my bed, grabbing boots and a jacket,

and out on each neighbors lawn a banker or two
each carrying a hammer, sign and a kazoo,

singing songs and posting signs on every door
and the bankers did more,

by removing the credit of each boy and girl
raising interest rates, and compounding debt all in a whirl,

they jumped in their limos, drinks they were pouring
and three cheers, ‘hurray out finest day’, while neighbors a snoring,

and I heard them exclaim as they drove out of sight
happy foreclosure to all and to all a good night

When out on the lawn, arose such a racket;
As Santa arrived loudly wearing a full metal jacket.

A cloud of coal dust surrounded him and he was awful smelly
He had a broad dirty face and a verynlarge flabby beer belly

Gripping a large bulging sack of coal to which he held tightly
With his right hand then gave me the finger, while smiling mightily

With a maniacal laugh he then sprang into his BMW, yelling “bye sucker”
And away he drove I heard him exclaim, “climate change my ass, bye sucker”

‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the U.S.;
The economy was tanking, and things were a mess.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care;
Hoping for coal, because the fuel tanks were bare.

The government health care plan wasn’t looking like a winner;
Resembling nine wolves and a sheep, voting on what’s for dinner.
The media had all the meaty issues it could handle;
Keeping their focus on the Tiger sex scandal.

When out on the lawn, arose such a racket;
Ted Kennedy left his meatsuit & The Jackson’s sold Michael’s Jacket.
Santa Claus was instructed to deliver only Chinese goods;
additional Government cheese spread through middle-class hoods.

The messiah of prosperity added a shiny new Viper to his fleet;
fundamentalists became infuriated…unable to afford shoes on their feet.
Pigs could now fly and the flu boosted vaccine sales worldwide;
43 Trillion reasons why the USA stimulated debt, yet paper bonds died.

Fear-porn captivated minds every night, ’twas the night before christmas;
anti-depressant pills, unpaid bills, and plenty of sugar for all – delicious!
A few scrooges said ‘humbug’ to all this nonsense, living outside the rat-race;
their proposition of what’s to come was magnificent, as if touched by God’s grace.

‘Twas the night before christmas and two types of people celebrated;
the disciples prosperity & mingled-minds that are media-orchestrated.
Many went to church that evening to pray to a God that was a jealous fuhrer;
crying about their lack and poverty, ill-health, and were handed a mirror…

‘Twas the night before christmas and Christ had arrived from the past;
instructed to look in the mirror, each person gave up victomhood at last!
Obama was pleased, we didn’t have to sell war to pay off debt anymore;
the medical community rejoiced, patients health actually became restored.

Newspapers and media covered the event as a catastrophe of major proportions;
it had to have been an epidemic of delusion, this anomaly was a distortion!
‘Twas the night before christmas and nobody read the propaganda the media served;
the miracle of full-responsibility gave every man and woman what they deserved.

Dozens of Vipers and other exotic vehicles were delivered to homes by Mr. Claus;
the opportunity to be displaced became a nudge to be your own boss.
A million new millionaire’s were birthed into the world from the ashes of defeat;
perhaps it was even the one who is currently sitting in your seat!

‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house…
nobody believed any longer that they should live as poor as a church mouse.
everyone realized that money DOES grow on trees, and YES it is true;
you’re always at the scene of the crime, the center of your Universe is YOU!

Coals were burning, the snow flakes dumped all over the midwest;
yet somehow everyone knew that these times were in fact the very best!
Executives working paper-hat jobs handed over their funds and got robbed;
looked within themselves before giving it one last sob.

Then a roar of laughter erupted throughout the ethers, all was indeed well;
a shift of attention was placed on ushering in heaven on Earth instead of hell.
The blame-game wasn’t played after dinner and many refused to drink the ’spirits’;
the alarm sirens of fear blasted out through the airwaves, yet no one could hear it.

Tithes flooded the post office and CNN reported a huge vacuum-like black hole;
like a whirlpool, the collective release of victimhood stole the whole show.
‘Twas the last night before Christmas that the ghost of christmas past appeared;
at last, the ‘end of the world’ prophesied meant the end of the fear!

The fallen world sank, false sciences were scrutinized to their demise;
grandpa and grandma caught the evening news yelling, ‘lies, lies, lies!’
People gave up their dis-eases and embraced prosperity instead;
‘Twas the night before Christmas and it was all thoughts in our head.

The end.

Randy…explain your “probably not” in today’s email? This does not sound anything like the messages that are instilled in us each day…..did you write that?…”probably not”..

Also…how about adding a selection of emoticons to the blog.
Gloria

When out on the lawn, arose such a racket,
I sprang from the bed, stumbled and fell over a packet;

Away to the stairway I flew very driven,
Sometimes all of our thoughts are misgiven;

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow,
Gave white light to objects below;

When, what did appear to my wondering eyes and forces,
But a new Viper SRT, and six hundred horses!

With a tall, sexy driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick;

More rapid than rock stars his coursers they came,
And he tweeted, and blogged, and called them by name;

“Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! on Cupid! on, Donder and Blitzen!

Tonight’s the night! Let’s live it up!
Go out and smash it! Fill up your cup!”

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,

It was like lightning, Everybody was frightening,
And the music was soothing, And they all started grooving!

And then, global warming, I heard on the web,
The prancing and pawing of each little ebb;

As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound;

He was dressed all in Prada…hot, sticky and sweet,
from his head to his feet.

A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,
Cars, watches, i-phones, gadgets, apps & a mac;

His eyes — how they twinkled! They are the mirror of the soul,
Giving and receiving…hopefully not coal!

His mouth was drawn up like a bow, a spark,
sometimes resembling a smiling great white shark;

The stump of a spoon he held tight in his teeth,
because there is no spoon;

He was athletic and trim, a serious baseball player,
And I was inspired when I saw him, truly multi-layer;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work with clarity,
Helping people to transform self-limiting beliefs into self-fulfilling breakthroughs to achieve their dreams and prosperity.

And pausing a moment, cause sometimes we don’t really notice, he reflected,
And giving a nod, all was connected.

He sprang to his Viper SRT, to his team gave a cue,
You can shine a little light on everything around you;

But I heard him exclaim, ere he flew to Wisconsin,
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!”

The last line… PRICELESS! :)

From all my heart, I wish you a Merry Christmas , Randy!

I express my deepest appreciation for all inspiration and informal spiritual guidance you provided me with from pages of your books and this blog.
Keep the fire of hope buring inside the hearts of ones who are in need of it !

When out on the lawn, arose such a racket;

An industry becoming, the answer for masses.
It started with 1, then 2, then 4, it soon became clear
There was room for much more.

Change is hard, resistance is stiff
But soon people will rejoice with this new christmas gift
Hope and Freedom are much more than dreams
It’s a life worth living, A soul gifting thing.

With gratitude and blessings all thru the land
A new kind of peace was truly at hand
Prosperity was turning and the people had vision
Not even Santa could imagine this new found provision.

It cuts to the core, and gets to the chase.
This networking thing is for the whole human race.
So off to the new year and on thru the ages
This distribution time is just in the beginning stages.

I finish with a smile and laughter to boot, for my
Mind races as I see Santa coming thru the shoot
Big fat boots and big fat belly. He networked all night
And now he is hear, Networking with me over cookies
And good cheer.

Travis Wolf
16305 bates cove
Pflugerville,tx 78660

The Night Before Christmas, 2009
(With profound apologies to Clement Clarke Moore and his estate)

‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the U.S.;
The economy was tanking, and things were a mess.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care;
Hoping for coal, because the fuel tanks were bare.

The government health care plan wasn’t looking like a winner;
Resembling nine wolves and a sheep, voting on what’s for dinner.
The media had all the meaty issues it could handle;
Keeping their focus on the Tiger sex scandal.

When out on the lawn, arose such a racket;
I sprang from my KenkoAire™ and threw on my jacket.
Away to the sun deck I stumbled and fell,
Threw open the front doors and screamed, “What the hell…!”

Clouds covered the moon and I couldn’t see shit,
And being night-blind I figured I’d quit.
When what to my wondering eyes should be there,
But an MLM Rock Star— the one with no hair.

He drove up in his Bentley, (No, not the Arnage)
And I knew in a moment, “That’s Randy Gage.
And he wasn’t alone, by the dozens they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

“Now Wesley! now, Billy! now, Eli and Avigail,
On Matt, on Juan Carlos, on Alex and Yael!
To the top of the Quadra-Plan! to the top of them all!
Now duplicate, duplicate, duplicate all!”

As dry teams that before the Miami Hurricane’s fly,
When they meet with an objection, pass on the fly.
So all round my condo the coursers they flew,
With Randy, his softball team and Eric Worre too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard from inside,
A great buzz and excitement impossible to hide
I turned going in just to give them a greeting.
There he was in my living room conducting a meeting!

He was dressed custom-made from his neck to his toes,
My annual income could be spent on those clothes!
On my 42-inch plasma a DVD played.
And everyone was sharing ’bout the money they’d made.

His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the gleam off his head set the whole room aglow.

A Patek Philippe gleamed from under his sleeve,
He was so mesmerizing no one wanted to leave.
He spoke of prosperity, freedom and wealth,
And he boasted with pride how he’d restored his health.

He was tall, dark & handsome like a Rivendell Elf.
And I was saddened by comparing him to myself!
But a wink of his eye and a tilt of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

His encouraging words were all about work,
He built my belief, then turned with a jerk.
And laying an application on the table before,
“Sign here,” he told me, then flew out the door!

He sprang to his Bentley, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
“Residual income for all, and to all a good-night!”

w/Love and deepest apologies— John Milton

The Night Before Christmas, 2009
(With profound apologies to Clement Clarke Moore and his estate)
‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the U.S.;
The economy was tanking, and things were a mess.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care;
Hoping for coal, because the fuel tanks were bare.
The government health care plan wasn’t looking like a winner;
Resembling nine wolves and a sheep, voting on what’s for dinner.
The media had all the meaty issues it could handle;
Keeping their focus on the Tiger sex scandal.

When out on the lawn, arose such a racket;
I wasn’t sure what I saw so I thought I should attack it.

I looked up, I looked down and thought could this be a friend?
Or is what was coming would cause the end.

Then I realized the man I saw could only serve four.
After that I could put his picture in a drawer.

On Dancer, on Prancer on Rudolph on Blitzen.
Only 3 years left and we’ll again be Ritzen.

… went out on the lawn there arose such a racket,
with all us screwed by this outlandish packet.

Screaming and running;
is there a doctor in’THE HOUSE’? Not a sign of one.
Though the looters are humming as drunk as a Souse.

So Santa babe, I’ll remedy this pain with a dose of “Ayn Rand,”

Dream BIG and lots of blessings,
Leslie
NYC

I thought about entering this contest and I am sure I could come up with some cutting remarks about how the government is treating us all so badly and the recession is driving most of my friends into bankruptcy but then I thought again. I would so much rather focus on the things that truly matter to me this year.
My family, my friends, and the love we all have for each other. Talking on the phone with my 83 year old grandmother, having a positive and upbeat conversation with my mother (a rarity there), the grandma across the street bringing over Diet Sprite because she remembered I like Sprite (not diet but whatever, she was thinking of me), my daughter who hugs me for no other reason than because she loves her mom. Those are the things that matter right this moment. Not the government or the climate or the banks. Today, right this moment the people in my life are more important than anything else.
Have a wonderful, safe, full of love and peace holiday everyone!

The Night Before Christmas, 2009
(With profound apologies to Clement Clarke Moore and his estate)

‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the U.S.;
The economy was tanking, and things were a mess.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care;
Hoping for coal, because the fuel tanks were bare.

The government health care plan wasn’t looking like a winner;
Resembling nine wolves and a sheep, voting on what’s for dinner.
The media had all the meaty issues it could handle;
Keeping their focus on the Tiger sex scandal.

When out on the lawn, arose such a racket;
I remember the price of my diamond wallet.‎
Close your eyes, count from ten to one, at once;‎
Cheers! You’re rich, right? Do it every month.‎

Hum, it’s not an amazing test, understood?‎
I wanna just our happiness, that’s good.‎
What’s coming up in New Year? No matter!‎
because our mind is so rich, that’s better.‎

People say:” happy New Year”. For what?‎
To change our attitude, like acrack shot.‎
Great! In your dream you want to buy a bay;‎
Well, work on your sub-consciousness, that’s the way.‎

Believe yourself, it’s your turn to create your kingdom world;‎
Oh lord, don’t hesitate, you know the value of time? It’s gold.‎
Go ahead, enjoy now, dance more, and listen to your heart-beat;‎
How long it takes to achieve your vision? You’re right. Just a bit.‎

the night before christmas i see a wide river with diamonds so i walk through the river the river is not deep but very long and as i keep walking every diamond shines diffrent ,every diamond has a diffrent color,they are so beautifull only shining for me,i do not pick them up but i keep walking and when i finally reach the end of the river there is my sweethaert standing with a suitcase with 1milion dollars ,a limusine and a case full of diamonds to welcome me,this is my kind of night before christmas. diamondkisses corinne-spain

The Night Before Christmas, 2009
(With profound apologies to Clement Clarke Moore and his estate)

‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the U.S.;
The economy was tanking, and things were a mess.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care;
Hoping for coal, because the fuel tanks were bare.

The government health care plan wasn’t looking like a winner;
Resembling nine wolves and a sheep, voting on what’s for dinner.
The media had all the meaty issues it could handle;
Keeping their focus on the Tiger sex scandal.

When out on the lawn, arose such a racket;
Twas Miss Elin, burning 17 pictures of hoochies wearing nothing but the Tiger’s Green Jacket.

All people wanted, was America to have CHANGE
they didn’t do their homework, and now they feel strange.
Too many years later, NOW we want to audit the FED????
Sorry you silly voter, they took all your bread!!

Up in the skies, the CEO’s still getting bonuses,
You think it’s crazy? You voted for “HIM” you crybaby chingones!
They still came back and proclaimed, “Please Sir, may I have another?”
Next time use lube, cause “He” just gave YOU another!

All the President’s men, behind the iron curtain,
Meanwhile, you and the old lady are claiming you’re really hurtin.
We’ll take Mexico, Canada, US of A…..
Let’s all unite and spend EURO’S one day!

Turn on the tube and what do you see?
Mindless entertainment, you’re so hooked on “GLEE.”
The man is coming in his red suit,
he’s got lots of bills for ya,
to pay for those new work boots.

“On Palin, on Britney, On Michael, On Lindsay…
Merry Christmas to all…..
Santa wants to tell you,
You should have voted for RON PAUL!!!!!”

(Thanks for letting me vent in Spanglish.)
Cristina

such a racket! alarms went off in all of our minds
our right brains came over to our lefts with out any reigns.
and now and now and now our dreams and the visions are vibrant in the land and air and milky way, we take iron fisted responsibility for our actions and thoughts and all is right in the world.

‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.

They rested in peace as they knew after all
Things usually work out to the benefit of all.

Their energy was focused, they took due care
To make sure they were centered;
Commitment to inner peace was there.

Their intentions were clear; they took time to think; And,
wrote down those desires in clear black ink.

And most of all they rested knowing they had support;
Whenever they asked, people came forth.

So I sit pen to paper and wish you all
a blessed season of light
and the most wonderful New Year’s of all!

All the best to you and yours,

Karen Valencic

With a big smile and thanks to all, I wish everyone “Happy Healthy Holidays and a fantastic year ahead!!!

I will put my vote in for the positive poetry, or comments, that is, if my vote counts!!! :-)

Twas The Night Before Christmas … again!

‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the U.S.;
The economy was tanking, and things were a mess.

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care;
Hoping for coal, because the fuel tanks were bare.

The government health care plan wasn’t looking like a winner;
Resembling nine wolves and a sheep, voting on what’s for dinner.

The media had all the meaty issues it could handle;
Keeping their focus on the Tiger sex scandal.

When out on the lawn, there arose such a racket;
(A man in a red suit, from a much higher tax bracket!)

So straight to the window I ran in a hurry;
And I peeked – for I had to, through all of my worry

When I finally saw him, I recognized the sage;
It was … “Wait – it couldn’t be! … yes – twas RANDY GAGE!”

I got all excited and started to stutter;
My palms became sweaty and my heart was a-flutter.

He said, “Hello Dear One, I bring you kind greetings”;
“You’ve been a loyal student, it was time for our meeting.”

“You’ve dreamed, you’ve envisioned, you’ve aligned with your brilliance”;
It was you that brought me here, due to all your resilliance!

I love how you’ve worked on controlling your thoughts;
And become very positive, just the way that I’ve taught!

The world may look scary and grim to the masses;
But you’re right on track to join the great upper-classes!

So I’ve brought you a gift in this happiest of seasons;
And you truly have earned it – for so many reasons

This is only a token of the wealth you deserve;
So consider it a down payment in your unending reserves.

There will be much more coming as you expand expectations;
The world is your oyster, your canvas, your creation.

And I see you’ve discovered that life’s meant to be fun!;
Not just for the lucky, but for each and every one.

So I brought you this check for a cool hundred grand;
Delivered by yours truly … like the Universe planned!

You know you’ve been asking for more prosperity;
Bet you never imagined it would be delivered by … ME!

Now use it toward greatness and make sure you enjoy it;
Oh yes, and spend wisely … be sure to employ it!

This is your proof of the Law of Attraction;
But remember the next step is … you must take some action!

And Dear, if you’re wondering what this is doing for me;
I’m tithing my millions, quite generously!

I have plenty of money – but it needs circulation;
And with this visit finished – I am off on vacation!

Now I bid you farewell, this sleigh’s not as fast my Viper;
I’ve still far to travel and the reindeer are hyper.

So I leave you with wishes of abundance and cheer;
I can hardly wait to see just what you do with this year!

Wishing you many rich blessings in the coming year and always!!!

KimbraLee =)

When out on the lawn, arose such a racket;
When Elin told Tiger,”I found all the empty condom packets”!!!

…When out on the lawn, arose such a racket;
When Elin told Tiger,”I found all your empty condom packets”!!!

When out on the lawn, arose such a racket;
Pelosi and Reid were looking at my car, trying to tax it.
I ran to my desk and hid my checkbook in a flash;
I yelled to mama, “quick, hide all our cash”.

When what to my wondering eyes should appear;
But an opportunity for freedom if I bust my ass for a year.
I needed some training, a mentor and quick;
Research led me to a bald guy in Florida who is kind of slick.

Trying to soar with the eagles and not be so lame;
He prods and pushes but does not know my name.
Now affirm, now mantra, now market don’t sell;
Wear a button or sticker and end in MLM hell!

To the top of the comp plan, now climb that wall!
Two a day for freedom, now that is all!
As dry leaves before the wild hurricane fly;
When I meet a new obstacle, I mount to the sky.

I speak not a word and go straight to my work;
Sometimes my wife thinks I’m some kind of jerk.
But each day freedom gets closer and continue to grow;
All from the seeds that Rohn once did sow.

Gage has shown the reward of true hustle;
And to share an opportunity does not take much muscle.
But I heard him exclaim as he drove a Viper out of sight;
“Believe in yourself and to all a prosperous night!”

Merry Christmas RG, thanks for the gifts all year.

The night before Christamis and there was not a sound in the house until old saint nick came in and still everybody was sound a sleep. the next day was the best day of the whole year.

…when four strange men wearing funny hats came walking up to me. They seemed somehow familiar and yet so different. A mix of scary and piousness.
One of them wore a gold bar as he reached towards me.
- We have come to offer you a different life than what you lived so far. If you accept this gift and If you are ready to follow us ordinary people from different walks of life you need no longer be a slave to your insecurity. Our approach gives you freedom. If you refrain from receiving our gift, we can reassure you that nothing will change , everything will be as it was settled though even worse. Unfortunately if so, we will offer the next person this solid goldbar. What will be your choice?

When up on my lawn, arose such a racket
There on my house top, stook Margaret Thatcher
Ronnie was looking at her with care
saying socialism is not what we want here
Now, Margaret, quick as a wink, go
and tell Washington what we all think.

I had to comment here because I am in awe of the cleverness, creativity, and thoughtfulness of everyone who had the courage and brilliance in continuing with the rest of the poem. It’s sooo cool! I keep on coming back here to read more poems!

I can see how many people really respect you and take on your teaching seriously and have made it their own. I loved reading everyone’s input and the poems were all simply brilliant! I love the power of leveraging other people’s skills. There is so much talent out there!

Thank you for this wonderful Christmas gift. It made me so proud to get to know you Randy and to get to know those around you who strive to make this industry shine.

And that night before Christmas no money in the bank,
broken down car with no gas in the tank,
people out shopping for gifts to give,
I’m out shoplifting for food to live,
the economy is looking better that’s what they say,
i see no difference still look like we’re in the gray.
I burned my last meal,
So I took a sleeping pill,
And that was the night before Christmas.

Well, I was never much on Christmas so my mind is not into finishing the poem but I love getting together with my two children and now 1 grandbaby and unfortunately baby’s daddy’s couldn’t be with us because of violent behavior and hopefully will get help but we had a nice meal and everyone was safe and the my younger daughter’s boyfriend brought cookies which I haven’t had in such a long time cause I found out I can’t eat good stuff cause of high cholesterol but we had a great Christmas Eve even though I have no income . I made a good meal and ate cookies cause I have been working out 4 or 5 times a week and watching my fat intake and I very well deserve something tasty once in a while in my life. My family together, a good meal, sitting watching a silly movie “Aliens vs. Monsters” and cookies was a great Christmas Eve for me and my family.

When out on the lawn, arose such a racket;
You wanted a picture but I did grab a jacket
Option C is a dancing inside of my head
The thought of you sleeping with me in my bed
The tease is fun and I couldn’t resist
But now the poem heads back to Santa’s Christmas List
Into the future of two thousand and ten
Where men scared of change won’t step out of their pen
We dream of a future that’s bright and of hope
But most won’t dare change and again remain a dope
If only they knew small steps taken are needed
So life would be lived instead of just cheated
Lessons learned from the past should make us take better care
To realize the economy is not the bad air
Will lessons of past bring a brighter future near
They will if they listen to Randy and hear
That life is a gift and we’ll prosper and grow
If steps that we take are steady and slow
The race will be won even if you stumble…
And grab life’s true blessings, being thankful and humble.

When arose from the Congress (all high in tax bracket),came the sound of health reform-Jeezus what a racket!

With no “Payer Option”,I’m thinkin’ we’re screwed, when Santa arrived,and said “Listen up,Dude!”

He said “I know you all believed, in O-bama’s promise, of health care reform, by Jove and St. Thomas! But as it’s lookin’ now, the reform’s for the worse, so put your ‘Pie In The Sky’ ideas where they belong–in a hearse!”

“Take it from me, it’s more than a hunch,that it’s true what they say: No Such Thing As Free Lunch! The “O-Man”’s a politician,and aren’t they quite a bunch? They promise the SKY,and deliver the DIRT-so bend over, say ‘Ah’- this might slightly hurt!”

“There’s BIG BUCKS at play here, make no mistake. And the Health Care folks? They haul it in with a rake! If you think they’ll roll over, then for you I’ve got news-good old Obama is messin’ with the “Golden Egg Laying Goose”!

“You see-people think I bring free stuff,that’s true. (Even Agnostic,Muslim and Jew!) If you believe that, my friend,you’re living a lie-ya’ want somthin’ fer nuthin?- Oh dear and oh my. No–you get what you pay for,like it or not,which puts our old Prez in a pretty bad spot. He’s damned if he do,and damned if he don’t: Think he’ll put HIS neck in the noose?-I think he won’t! ”

“Most likely he’ll wheel,and deal, and such-and all those promises he made?-they were a bit overmuch. There’s a story about politics,and this might make you grieve,the name of the story? “Ali Baba and The 40 Thieves!”

“So roll up your sleeves,and let’s get to work-’cuz politics is for suckers, The Naive, and the jerks. Take it from me,one who’s been around,keep your eyes in your head,and your feet on the ground.
Be like my elves-they make their OWN toys,they don’t put all their eggs in the basket of a guy from Illinois!”

“You might be saying “where’s your spirit,Mr.Claus? All this reality is giving us pause: Keep THIS up,and we won’t laud YOU with applause!’

“You want some advice, from good old St. Nick? Listen up ‘yall,and let your ears prick. Create your won reality,to the extent you can. That way,you won’t have to depend on “The Man”. Use your own talents,I’m sure you have lots,though you might have heard different,from the gurus and crack-pots. It’s never too late,to live the life of your dream,though you might have to disentangle yourself from the main-stream. Will it be hard? Yes,at times. You’ll encounter lot’s of B.S.,and silly nursery rhymes. Get used to working,and pursuing your dreams,get strong,get smart- and if you have to: GET MEAN! Be in control, of YOUR OWN HEALTH,and come to think of it-your happiness, relationships and wealth. Be your own “Santa”-it can be done- You might work alone,and be the only one. But in the long run you’ll be happy,and will be in the right.
And to you dear Reader-

Merry Christmas and GOOD NIGHT!!!

DEAR RANDY,

I WAS WONDERING WHY YOU POSTED SUCH A POEM FOR CHRISTMAS, SO I AM NOT ABLE TO COMPLETE IT. IT HAS A LOT OF NEGATIVE ISSUES MAY BE HARD REALITIES OF LIFE.

I KNOW THERE MUST BE SOME GOOD REASONS BEHIND THIS POEM AS YOU ARE VERY MUCH IN CONTROL OF THINGS YOU SAY AND DO.

I AM FROM INDIA AND LOOKING FORWARD TO AN OPPORTUNITY TO MEET YOU AS EARLY AS POSSIBLE, I BADLY NEED TO MET YOU SOON, I NEED YOUR HELP TO GUIDE ME, READY TO DO WHATEVER YOU SAY. I NEED A CHANGE BADLY.

THANKS A LOT

When out on the lawn, arose such a racket,
I said, oh dear look… another Secret Service
replacement. Dressed another up in a red suit and Teddy. How ready we all are to bring some balance to life. Now that, Healthcare worked it’s way into government hands… can we rest easy now, is this the Universes plan? Now not to worry, I’m not selfish anymore, we opened our door and fed the homeless on the Jersey Shore. Now.. wishes to all a Safe and Happy Holiday Season…. Thank You!!!! Good Night!!!

When out on the lawn, arose such a racket,
So I jumped to my feet and threw on my jacket.
I ran to the window and to my surprise
Was a goofy French bulldog with big bugged out eyes

He said I am the “Christmas pup from future and past”
And I’m here to set some things straight at long last.
I don’t have much time so listen real close
Turn on your recorder and take down some notes.

You see I’m not just a dog with really big ears
I’m a magical pup that flies through the years.
Both backwards an forwards and all in between
You wouldn’t believe what these big eyes have seen

I’ve been around for many a year
And I’m her to spread some real Christmas Cheer.
Your TVs and pod casts and cell phones and such
Have gone overboard with the with the negative touch

We’ve all been handed a big crock of poop
About the world situation… well here’s the real scoop
It just may be true that the world has some problems
But it’s also true that we can and will solve them.

I may not have thumbs but I can still count to ten
And we can all get us out of this mess that were in
I may chase my tail but at least I’m not complaining
Or sitting around making excuses and blaming

The truth of the matter is it’s time to go nuts
Get some things done… and get of our butts
Instead of looking at how the economy is so slow
Open your eyes and look where we want to go

And if you have trouble focusing in that direction
Just find a way that you can make a connection
With others that may not have the good fortune or good luck
Reach back and help them pull themselves up

You can’t help someone get to the top shelf
Without getting a little closer yourself
The truth of the matter is there’s still lots of money
It’s just in other paces and I’m not being funny

Here’s some advice sp please get behind it
If you want more stuff just g out and find it
There’s still lots of hope and there’s still virtue
Just look around and I swear it won’t hurt you.

There’s still lots of people that really do care
There’s still lots of people who genuinely care

God gave you humans a remarkable ability
Of creating your future with grace and humility
Why you don’t use it is beyond me I swear
I guess it’s just easier to whine and be scared

But I’m telling you here and I’m telling you now
Follow your dreams and you’ll find them some how
I’ve noticed that people just seem to forget it
That the universe is here to help if you let it

So help one another you silly human beings
And turn off the negative garbage you’re seeing
It doesn’t take a genius to see there’s no gain
By focusing on drama and turmoil and pain

So gather your courage, your wisdom, your guts
And stand up and pull your heads out of your butts

Then that dog jumped about ten feet in the air
Waved his paws all around like he just didn’t care
He said I’ve got one last stop before I go home
I’ve got to stop at the white house to burry a bone.

Then he clicked his heals twice and pointed up high
Then like a rocket he shot through the sky

You might not believe me what happened that night
But I can still hear the last thing he said as he shot out of sight

The grass will still grow if you don’t bother it
But it’s always much greener right where you water it

When out on the lawn, arose such a racket,
I am so sad now, emptiness in my heart pocket,
Looking after the beauty of life, where it is?
I was full enough to believe that there is bliss…

I can’t continue anymore, I’m not an English speaker, so I don’t want to spoil it, I love English!

Randy, I know that I am out of the subject, but I still need just a quarter of the prize to can live further… With all the shame that i feel, I must try to get out of my situation, so I gived it a shut…
I am now where you was once, so I hope that you will read this and, if it is possible, help me.
Here in my country it is hard to get up, but I will…
Blessings,

HI RANDY…

I AM FROM CAMBODIA. I WISH TO JOIN WITH THIS COMPETITION, BUT I AM NOT GOOD AT POEM. BESIDES MY ENGLISH STILL LIMIT.

ANY OTHER CHANCE TO WIN A COMPETITION?

I DREAM TO MEET YOU IN PERSONS IN YOUR EARIEST CONVENIENCE. I WISH TO HEAR YOUR VOICE AND I NEED YOUR GUIDANCE.

I WISH YOU FOR A WONDERFUL AND PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR 2010!

Soursdey

DEAR RANDY,

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year to Randy! Love.

hi randy
plase send me seminar dubai palinure international
tanks

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year to Randy! Love.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS FOR U RANDY!!!!!!!!!!!

‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the U.S.;
The economy was tanking, and things were a mess.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care;
Hoping for coal, because the fuel tanks were bare.

The government health care plan wasn’t looking like a winner;
Resembling nine wolves and a sheep, voting on what’s for dinner.
The media had all the meaty issues it could handle;
Keeping their focus on the Tiger sex scandal.

When out on the lawn, arose such a racket;
The white House became a hut of the uncle of Volume;
But burn newspapers and throw out the TV;
Trust in Santa Klausa and it will necessarily come!

…And people run away to their home
cause of cold and dark rainy night

there was a wish that night like last year:
“This year is another one but not like the others
the world will become better
the man health will improve
and the PEASE is the GOAL”

Regards
Mahdi