Love to Hate
by Randy Gage
Okay serious question. Worth some serious thought before you answer…
Who do you love to hate?
Asking because this takes us yet deeper into the issue of foundational beliefs that could be causing you to sabotage your own success. (Although you may have thought we couldn’t get any deeper than the last post!)
So let’s see who most people hate…
Everyone hates the Yankees because they have a high payroll. I saw the same thing for a while when Manchester United was having their run. Remember when A-Rod got his $250 million contract? You’d have thought he was public enemy number one. Now the popular team to hate is the Miami Heat, and of course Lebron James.
Do you see a pattern here?
Most people love athletes (or actors, singers, etc.) when they’re poor and underdogs, then love to hate them when they become rich or successful.
Trace it to what you want – jealousy, envy, self-hate, money prejudice or whatever. One thing is certain. People who feel this way are not very likely to let themselves become successful.
So what about you?
Would you like to help me make 2012 Summer Different? Print the following on T-shirts, posters, business cards, etc.: Hate is easy, ask Love. It's knowing hate and hating it that is hard. Copyright: De' Kridge.
I am guilty of feeling a second of jealousy when I see someone who has achieved something I want. But now I am more aware of this insecurity. I tell myself not to covet - that it only hurts me. And I remind myself that this is her day, not mine. And I will have my day - and there will be someone who wishes to have that. And i consider myself blessed. I only want to be envious to the extent that it makes me work harder to achieve my dreams too. Thanks Randy!
( off topic) "Your prosperity grows only as fast as you do. If you want to have more - you must be willing to become more." Randy Gage Thinking you have to believe you are enough, you are deserving, worthy and valuable NOW. You are prosperous now otherwise you are in lack. So be willing to become more but not lacking. Like I'll be prosperous after I physically die and go to heaven if I'm good enough and do everything my religion says to do.
Cindy, I agree 100% that we have to believe/think/feel that we are prosperous NOW. [There are certainly 10 gazillion ways to develop & cling to the belief that "I'm not Prosperous." We've got lots of evidence for that! For example, it's really really easy to think that "Randy has WAY more disposable income than I do ~ therefore I'm not prosperous." I've certainly gone down that road....and we know where that road leads, YUCK!
What we need is METHODS to develop the belief that I AM PROSPEROUS RIGHT NOW! My favourite is to "compare down" - I am very very prosperous compared to the vast majority of people in the world.....I have running water right in my own house! I have - not one, not two, but - THREE (3!) flush-toilets in my house. Is that prosperity or WHAT?
I may not be able to buy a $10,000 crocodile-sleeve jacket ... but I remember when I found MY beautiful jacket ($10 at the thrift store). I was ABLE TO BUY IT FOR MYSELF! Without having to use the Grocery Money!! OR a credit card!!! I felt Prosperous! I felt prosperous every time I wore that jacket. Still do.
I don't know if Randy would agree....but I don't see any real difference between the jacket he bought and the one I bought. We both got something we felt great about. I'm pretty sure that my feeling-great in that moment (and right now, as I recall the incident) contributes to my attracting more flow-of-abundance into my life. Nowadays, I can see myself impulsively buying a jacket for $100....my cash-flow level has changed, and I am STILL prosperous. Guess why?
How do you convince yourself that you are Prosperous, Cindy? Got any good tricks up your sleeve?
Dear Mr. Gage,
I'm sorry if my question looks irrelevant, it actually isn't.
Sad but true, quite a lot of people in the US today seem to hate weapons (guns and knives). Consequently, they fear and hate people who possess and carry weapons and are skilled in their use. Weapons are personified and thought of as possessing some "evil power" that drives people to committing violent crimes. In my view, it's a real tragedy, especially because the US was founded by free people whose essential accessory was a weapon. Nowadays, there are lots of assholes who argue the Second Amendment implies the right to possess weapons ONLY to protect one's own home.
Could you please share your view on weapons?
Do you think weapons possess some "evil power" of their own?
Do you think carrying weapons every day makes people want to commit violent crimes? Do you agree those who habitually carry weapons actually fish for trouble?
Do you think prosperous people need weapons?
Thank you very much in advance!
I am not against owning weapons, and I believe in the right to do so. But unless you're a polic officer or soldier, carrying one every day would be very fear-based and anti-prosperity in my opinion. -RG
Dear Mr. Gage,
thanks a lot! That's an interesting view on weapons that I wish I would come across much more often.
Very interesting point Randy. Those who envy others success can not be open to having success in their lives.
Warning: Off topic
Randy,I have been reading you for a while. I want you to read my message- What can i do to have sufficient money to help people who can;t even pay for their hospital money to keep alive? If i have just ONE wish..I will ask for a capability to be able to help people whose life can be saved just by money!I don't know what can you do, I just wanted to vent out!Hersh Bhardwaj
I work to not hate anyone. It happens. What do I love to hate? People who go out of their way to be disrespectful (people who stop me on the road and kick my car for instance)... It's a deep wound and I'm doing a lot of work on that.
This topic has been rattling around in my mind for a few days now. My first response was, I don't hate anyone, certainly not 'public figures' - what have they got to do with my life? Nada. Why would I bother hating them? Goodness knows there is enough hate in the world without my adding more to the grand sum total!
However, I'm not one to turn up my lil' pink nose at Randy's suggested things-to-think-about, so I asked myself,
"Ok, if I don't do HATE, who do I feel peevish about?" Well, there are some of Those! Again, not public figures, I don't really give a whoop one way or t'other about public figures. What makes me peevish is people who don't do their work well - slackasses and incompetents. Especially the ones I work with! Now I'm getting Peevish!
And Why? Hmmmm..... I know, I know, the things that annoy us in others are generally the things that lurk in us, unnoticed, our "shadows" as Genpo Roshi calls them. So this is fruitful - I recognize that I have a really strong, powerful FEAR of being incompetent, of not doing things right. This is the root of why I don't finish what I start (I might do it WRONG!) or don't follow up with potential clients (I might say the wrong thing!) Oh the HORROR of Doing It Wrong! How awful it would be, if I did something wrong! If I was seen to be Doing It Wrong!! That it would be Dreadful!!
Isn't that silly?
What makes me peevish.....or what you hate.... tells us a lot more about ourselves than about the hated one. And therein lies the value of this exercise. Thanks, Randy.
Actually, I was just talking about the fear of being hated if I were to succeed might be holding me back as a musician. After all, LMFAO and Lady Gaga are demonized for "being too commercial and generic", even though I listen to them both as much as more indie electronic music fare.If the music industry is so evil and bad, why the heck are people continuing to be a part of it then? Why even buy music or attend concerts?If there's "no money" why even have the Grammys?That's one of the reasons I have a problem with Tunecore and the whole "indie" mindset(Tunecore is a service for helping small labels and indie artists get their music onto iTunes, eMusic and other services.) It outright, no holds barred, demonizes the entire music industry that isn't indie and unfortunately spreads a lot of negative means about larger labels.Some of this mindset is warranted, but it's done in such an underhanded, almost manipulative way in order to get more business.While an independent spirit is clearly a wonderful thing, you're not going to get rich selling CDs out of the trunk of your car or playing gigs at the local bar, or the modern equivalent, posting them on some download site, every single random place on the Internet, and praying to God the right people notice. (Sometimes this DOES work unfortunately, but thinking a bit more rationally about it could have saved a lot of time, energy, and possibly even money.Yes there is no doubt the music industry has problems- suing customers, a fear of adapting to change, but to believe that every single artist that is popular or even just doing well financially, is "selling out" and "being exploited", and that all of the promoters, producers, label heads, etc. are in it "steal from the artist" and "rip off the customer" sounds kind of insane to me.Why on Earth would Madonna want to make a comeback, or Ceelo Green want to get back into music years after his label dropped him because sales did not meet expectations? Why on Earth would anyone want to even bother even attempting to make a living in the music business if it's as "evil" and "unfair" as WAY too many people and even dishonest companies/people who prey on the insecurities of artists? Considering that both are very similar in some ways to more club oriented artists like Deadmau5 and Skrillex, i find it very odd. (Who are also demonized, especially Deadmau5 since he's now a multi-millionaire and may end up producing music for the "evil mainstream music industry".
Heck, Afrojack produces not only his own tracks but he's produced "evil mainstream" pop music.While I'm not going to go wild for Justin Bieber, there's a lot of craftsmanship and business planning that goes into a lot these tracks, indie, top 40, or dance.
Randy this is an excellent topic. I always think consciously - what I want for MYSELF I want for EVERYONE. Thinking with love & abundance is one way all of us can achieve true wealth. For many, what we've learned about money from the time we were little has had such a tremendous impact on how we view wealth and our (along with others) deservingness of it. You're an expert at creating wealth consciousness and I know your message has helped not only myself, but the hundreds of thousands of people you reach. Blessings! Carlos
I can mostly empathize with successful people. I don't always agree with them or their choices, but they are people like you and me. No reason to hate.
Great topic Randy.. made me think.. I don't think it's jealousy, so much as the arrogance.. you see a guy like George Clooney who does a ton of charity work and laughs it off and says, we could do a lot of more, and it's not real hard for a guy like me.. exactly and compare that to so many other jerks..
What blows my mind is when the other shoe drops and they can't understand why know one likes them... someone sent in a letter to Vanity Fair says, we had to avert our eyes when approaching Mike Ovitz in t he hall... and he can't understand why he's the most hated man in Hollywood
In my own experience went to j school with this very talented broadcast woman who you knew was going to the top and she did.. head of CBC Vancouver.. until she really hacked off some people back in Toronto and plus they probably had a stack of complaints up to their elbows about her.. one sentence press release, "Rae Hull is no longer head of CBC Vancouver."
A friend says oh you must have felt so bad for her.. oh yeah, sent her a fruit basket with a card that said, schadenfreude... maybe there is jealousy.. but why these people have to be such arrogant jerks and act so bewildered when it comes back on them..
Imbalanced thinking and emotions seriously hurt the body and becomes a health problem draining energy resulting in financial issues.
I echo what's been said about hating being an absolute waste of energy, but to your point Randy about the Miami Heat....I think a lot of folks "hate" teams like the Heat not BECAUSE they're successful, but because they have chosen to purchase players that were already successful, instead of through the draft with "homegrown" talent. People see that as trying to take the easy way out. I personally don't hate anyone for being successful, nor for being wealthy, but I do have a lot more respect for any sports team that wins with home grown players and is willing to have some losing seasons first as they build their empire. That's not the way sports works today, which is fine, but it is cool to watch when it happens.
Yeah I really noticed a lot of people expressing outrage about how much footballers get paid. I'm thinking - what does it matter to them? But it does.
I don't have that money envy issue thank goodness. It's so unattractive.
@Rachel Henke Yeah. Envying people with money is insane. Wealthy, and successful people aren't any smarter or more talented than others.In fact, I think sometimes successful people, regardless of field have less talent and intelligence than a lot of average people, but chose to find a way to "sell" themselves.http://spreadthewordproductions.peoplemovers.com/billquiseng/videos/steve-jobs-vision-of-the-world-830http://www.beamash.com/index.php?option=com_mobilenews&mobileItemId=4369&lang=enConsidering that Steve Jobs basically changed how we use almost everything, I dare say he was far more influential than Bill Gates.Bill Gates helped bring the computer into the hands of more people. Steve Jobs helped people fall in love with their technology, which is infinitely more powerful.Bill Gates made a lot more money, but Steve Jobs died with $7 billion to his name, and didn't have an affluent background. (Bill Gates' father was a lawyer).
I don't hate the Yankees because of their bankroll. I hate them cuz I'm a through and though born and raised Red Sox Fan who worships at the Great Church of Fenway Park. I'm watching the morning news and yes, we do seem to have a very unhealthy appetite for watching the mighty celebrity fall--but maybe that's because nobody wants to sit around watching Joe Average fail. If a person with money/fame falls: It apparently serves them right. If a desperately poor person fails: it's apparently a tragedy, a failure of society.
My problem is with celebrities who have mentor status for young people. If a celebrity makes an ass out of themselves that's one thing, but especially with instant technology today kids are exposed exposed to everything, sheltered from nothing. It'll be interesting to see in a generation how this influx of bad press/information overload affects society.
I think we often don't realize we hate. The people we complain about, blame, gossip about, etc might be the clues to who we hate. the people who aren't doing what we think they "should" do.
I think a fear of lack is an issue for people who hate others who make massive amounts of money. They don't look at the fact that athletes work their butts off to get as good as they are and that, like beauty, it fades away. Why should'nt they make what their value is. The universe is abundant. There is more than enough for anyone who is willing to take action and go after it. The sad part to see, is what it does to people who have never had much money. It destroys a lot more lives than it bless's. Be careful what you envy or wish for. You just might get it and regret it.
Nothing can be more right. I think it is down to envy. But, should successful people care? I don't think so. Because a dog is a dog and will remain so.
@Richard Bony What do U mean, a dog is a dog? I was going to LIKE your comment, because I agree that it is envy, but the dog part.. I LOVE DOGS, please no unfair comparisons ; )
I always looked up to people who are succesful. Specialy when they came from nothing and made it 'big'. Because offcourse i can relate to them !
I feel like I'm understanding some really important things here, I have some negativity feelings these days, and I realize that it is for limiting beliefs for sure, so I think that I really catch the important of the daily self-develop.... Because I hate being in the same situation every day, fuck, I am an obsessive to manifest prosperity right now!!!!!
Yes, the last post made me approach more carefully to my feelings and thoughts when I meet someone rich or something really expensive...
@Zhannur And I guess I will have to look after my feelings and thoughts towards poor people as well.
Now, that's an awesome point you've made here, Randy. Two of my favorites is Oprah and Will Smith. Yet a lot of people despise them. Whenever I ask why they come up with this really lame excuse, but I know that your reason is probably the more accurate reason they're not cared for. I find the stories of public figures, celebrities, and the such, intriguing. I am constantly reading up on how they reached their celebrity status. I'm not a hater of sports figures, I just don't know a lot about any of them. However, if they have made their millions throwing a ball, shooting a hoop, or making a field goal... then I say more power to them. Just more stories to read up on, eh? :)) Thanks for making this point though. It was a home run hit, bud! Cheers!
I love to hate public figures, particularly highly paid athletes, who think they are better than anyone else. I'm not talking "better" as in talent; I'm talking "better" as in being above the law, above the rules, above showing respect to others. I'm talking about those figures who think they are "God's gift to ..." It isn't their money or income I hate; it's their attitude and demeanor. You cite LeBron James. He obviously has the talent to stand out in a crowd, but ever since the incident many years ago when he attacked and choked his coach, and got away with it, I've had no use for him.
@Marvin from Tyler Actually that was Latrell Sprewell who choked his coach, but they probably both wear hoodies.
Some people hate it when you win... I remember when I would WIN for years as a Fitness Aerobics Athlete, how the majority would favor the one I beat... Some people don´t believe they can succeed, and it makes them mad to see others win... But no matter how challenging our situation, we have to BE INSPIRED by the successful like you, Randy, not hate but LOVE YOU & follow your example! So this is what I do NOW that I am pursuing a new career and Lifestyle in Fitness, Wellness & Network Marketing: I REJOICE in other people´s SUCCESS- personal & business, as if it were my OWN... So I am actually HAPPY 4 others, and the more incredibly SUCCESSFUL, the more it makes me SMILE! What an awesome FEELING! Note: it takes PRACTICE to get it RIGHT, but IT WORKS!
For me, it's people in Entertainment with NO talent that achieve high levels of success through having the right connections and terrific marketing. But this is simply an opinion and has no other meaning. However, those that are clearly unique and without compare, WILL in fact make it to the top as long as they maintain their vision and purpose. So what's to hate?
Beyond this, I don't 'hate' anyone. I PREFER people with humanity, compassion, talent and vision. And people that generally make it to the top, usually step on a few toes on the way, but there's no need to 'hate' them for it. It's part of the climb.
I always get excited when I learn about a 'new' talent that came from out of the blue. People from third world nations.. people with disabilities.. people that had little education (like me).. Etc, etc. THESE are the experiences that inspire, which is what I prefer. Hate is connected to Fear and that never gets us anywhere :)
Randy - I don't hate the Yankees because of their high payroll. I hate them because of their arrogance.
What if you are surrounded by negative people? Is it harder to be positive and successful? Do you end up hating them and yourself?
All the more essential to be positive and spread it around to your loved ones who happen to be in negative zone. Bring'em to your camp rather that joining them and make your house a hellish place. I know this as my mom used to be very negative and that trickled down to us and we became big moaners. Realizing the difference is a breakthrough event as RG says. You can start by giving them your aura and not giving in to their negativity!
Go to my YT channel at: http://www.youtube.com/randygage and scroll down to find the video dealing with negative people. - RG