Giving Yourself Permission to Win
by Randy Gage
Let’s pick up where we left off in yesterday’s post: How your perceived self worth can cause you to sabotage your success and prosperity.
Every day of your life you subconsciously answer the question, “How much abundance can I stand today?” You don’t even know you’re asking it, but your subconscious mind is asking it all the time.
And the answer to that question is determined by your self worth…
Not your real self worth. Because your real self worth is worthy!!! You deserve to be healthy, happy and prosperous. But your subconscious mind is going to answer the question based on your PERCEIVED self worth.
You will manifest prosperity in direct proportion to the degree you believe you are worthy of it.
Read that last sentence again. Because that is where the breakthrough starts. But just starts. Because here’s where you need to go next…
Remember that you’re conscious of every petty, jealous, or mean thought you ever have. And you have vivid recollections of every mistake you ever made, every bad thing you’ve ever done, and everything you’ve ever regretted doing.
Every time you have caught yourself doing something like this, you’ve likely lowered the perception you have of your own self worth. And remember what we discussed yesterday…
Subconsciously you know you’re supposed to be punished for bad things. So you punish yourself, not even knowing you’re doing it, by self-sabotaging yourself.
When it comes to prosperity no one gets what they deserve. You get what you BELIEVE you deserve. And if you don’t believe you’re worth enough, the self-sabotage starts.
How does this play out? Let me count the ways:
• Starting arguments with your spouse to create drama;
• Food, alcohol, or other drug abuse;
• Accepting lower wages or exploitative work situations;
• Settling for negative, dysfunctional relationships;
• Vegging out with TV or Farmville five hours a day;
• Walking away from lucrative opportunities; and,
• Literally hundreds of other scenarios.
I promise you the people around you aren’t telling you about the bad thoughts they’re having. So you think they’re saints and you’re a sorry sinner. But EVERYONE does bad things. Lots of them.
Welcome to the training program we call life. You’re human. Humans make mistakes. Humans sometimes do things that are stupid, inconsiderate and not nice.
The Pope leaves wet towels on the floor. When Princess Di was shagging the Prince, she was really fantasizing about Zach Efron. Gandhi slammed the door sometimes.
At the last supper, Jesus was talking with food in his mouth. Buddha actually stole that milk and rice pudding from Sujata. And Mother Teresa thought Johnny Depp had a cute ass.
Yeah, you’ve done a lot of horrible things. So has everyone else. Get over it. And know this…
It’s something quite ironic. And could be the biggest breakthrough for thousands of you. If you really “get” this, it could be the thing that stops your self-sabotage cycle forever. Here’s the insight:
The better a person you are – the more caring, sensitive, and self-aware you are – the harder you judge yourself. The irony is that often those of us with the highest morals, standards, and values sometimes actually have the lowest sense of self worth! Because we fail to meet our standards on a daily basis…
You know why the Pope, Princess Di, Gandhi, Jesus, Buddha, and Mother Teresa demonstrated such lives of prosperity, even though they had the same human frailties as the rest of us? They accepted their humanity and realized that included both good and bad.
They forgave themselves.
And instead of punishing themselves, they changed the equation: They decided to pay it forward. Instead of dwelling upon their flaws, they celebrated their gifts and chose service to others. They broke the self-sabotage cycle and accepted themselves as worthy.
And that’s what YOU must do…
Like yin and yang, we all have positive and negative aspects. That’s part of the “how to be a human” class we’re all enrolled in.
That doesn’t make you less worthy. You were born to be healthy, happy, and prosperous.
Please. Forgive yourself. Give yourself permission for prosperity. Give yourself permission to win!
You up for that?
this ties into fear of success. very important post as one needs to see if they have limiting beliefs holding them back..
Most people take a bath to clean their body.
We must not forget to clean our minds.
Daily mind cleaning creates clarity.
Thanks Randy for your mentorship
Man oh man! Jesus talking with food in his mouth? You never fail to amaze me Randy. You made me start the day on a higher note than before I read the post!
Thanks for the rants. Humorous as they are, there is no price that can be attached to the lessons they contain.
Should not have waited so long to read this.
GREAT article....I am actually I glad I read it now starting out the new year!
Thanks again for all you do Randy!
Your blog is great, and I love how it talks about forgiving yourself for being human, but I only have one concern. Jesus was human, and God, so really, he was perfect and never needed to forgive himself. Other than that, you give great advice!
this one is one to be printed and read daily. Passed on to others and become it's own mantra.
Love you, Randy !!!
The key point that struck me was "When it comes to prosperity no one gets what they deserve. You get what you BELIEVE you deserve." Many of us, with myself included, were brought up with the notion that prosperity(i.e. - financial wealth) was not for us. We were taught we should go to school and work for someone else. Now, I'm not saying working for someone else is bad. You could build yourself a lucrative career in some industries by working for someone else. But to get back to the point of deserving and believing prosperity.
Prosperity is in direct proportion to the amount of service you provide. It's a universal law we must understand. Prosperity is something for everyone, but you must internalize it and believe that it shall be yours.
Great post. I appreciate your style, and agree with most everything you say; however, I always disagree with your comments about Jesus. Yes, Jesus was human, but He was also God. He had no imperfections. As God, He was totally perfect, as we should strive to be perfect. None of the other people referenced in your post were both God and man....only Jesus. He is THE way, THE truth, and THE life! Amen, and Merry Christmas!
I thought I'd get crucified for that (if you'll forgive the irony). I'm surprised it took 100 comments for someone to say this.
That's your belief about Jesus. Doesn't mean it is necessarily so. For instance, I consider myself a christian, but I also think, and I could be wrong that God is a part of all of us. To me it only makes sense if we are supposed to be just like him. What if he wasn't perfect? I believe there are some lost Gospels where Jesus was not so perfect. Even in some of the Gospels we know about, he wasn't always perfect. I think there are also lots of ways to the truth, the life, and I don't know the way. Just my belief. I like yours too, but it should be very hard to be Christ like then, if you follow that belief.
Hey! Totally agree. One of your most profound messages ever. Deep breaktrough here. Thanks Gage!
We took the time to translate it to Spanish and share it with all of our team. I am leaving a copy here for those of you who has Spanish only speaking friends. Please, take the time to copy-paste and sending to them. They will sure appreciate it.
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Dándote permiso para ganar
Por Randy Gage
Retomemos el tema donde lo dejamos ayer: cómo tu auto-valor percibido puede causarte que sabotees tu éxito y prosperidad.
Cada dia de tu vida estás respondiendo subconscientemente la pregunta, "¿Cuánta abundancia estoy dispuesto a permitir hoy?". Ni siquiera sabes que estas haciendo esa pregunta, pero tu mente subconsciente lo´está preguntando todo el tiempo.
Y la respuesta a esa pregunta está determinada por tu auto-valor.
No tu auto-valor real. Porque en tu auto-valor real sí lo mereces todo. Mereces ser saludable, feliz y próspero. Pero tu mente subconsciente va a responder esa pregunta basado en tu auto-valor PERCIBIDO.
Manifestarás prosperidad en proporción directa con el nivel en que tu creas que lo mereces.
Lee la última oración nuevamente. Porque ahí es donde el cambio comienza. Pero solo comienza. Porque esto es lo siguiente que necesitas hacer...
Recuerda que eres consciente de cada pensamiento de lástima, celos, o pensamientos negativos que hayas tenido alguna vez. Y tienes vívidas memorias de cada error que has cometido, cada cosa mala que has hecho, y cada cosa de la que te arrepientes haber hecho.
Cada vez que te has sorprendido a ti mismo haciendo algo como esto, lo más posible es que has bajado la percepción que tienes de tu auto-valor. Y recuerda que...
Subconscientemente tu sabes que se supone que seas castigado por las cosas malas. Entonces, te castigas a ti mismo, sin saber que lo estas haciendo, mediante el auto-sabotaje.
Cuado se trata de la prosperidad, nadie recibe lo que merece. Recibes lo que tu CREES que mereces. Y si tu no crees que vales lo suficiente, el auto-sabotaje comienza.
¿Cómo funciona esto? Déjame enumerar las maneras:
Comenzando discusiones con tu pareja par crear drama
Abuso de comida, alcohol u otra droga
Aceptando bajos salarios o situaciones laborales de explotación
Conformándote con relaciones negativas y disfuncionales
Vegetando delante de la TV o los juegos de internet durante cinco horas al dia
Alejándote de oportunidades lucrativas y...
Literalmente, cientos de otras situaciones
Te aseguro que las personas a tu alrededor no te dicen nada de los pensamientos negativos que ellos tienen. Y tu te crees que ellos son santos y tu un pobre pecador. Pero TODOS hacen cosas negativas. Muchas de ellas.
Bienvenidos al programa de entrenamiento llamado vida. Eres humano. Los humanos cometen errores. Los humanos algunas veces hacen cosas que son estúpidas, inconsideradas y no agradables.
El Papa deja toallas húmedas en el piso. Cuando la Princesa Diana estaba alejándose del Príncipe, en realidad estaba fantaseando con Zach Efron. Gandhi cerró una puerta con furia algunas veces.
Durante la Última Cena, Jesús estaba hablando con comida en la boca. Buda realmente robó ese famoso dulce de arroz con leche de Sujata. Y Madre Teresa pensaba que Johnny Deep tenía un bonito trasero.
Si, seguro, has hecho muchas cosas horribles. Y también lo han hecho otras personas. Acéptalo. Y recuerda esto...
Tiene algo de irónico. Y puede ser momento de crecimiento más importantes para miles de uds. Si realmente "entiendes" esto, puede ser lo que te detenga de auto-sabotearte para siempre. Este es el punto:
Entre mejor persona seas - más te cuides, más sensible y más te conozcas - más fuerte te vas a juzgar. La ironía es que algunas veces, aquellos de nosotros con la mayor moral, estándares y valores, son los que menos se valoran a si mismos. Porque fallamos en alcanzar nuestros estándares diariamente...
¿Sabes por qué el Papa, la Princesa Diana, Gandhi, Jesus, Buddha, y la Madre Teresa demostraron tal prosperidad en sus vidas, incluso teniendo las mismas debilidades humanas del resto de nosotros? Ellos aceptaron su humanidad y entendieron que incluía ambas partes, lo bueno y lo malo.
Ellos se perdonaron a si mismos.
Y, en lugar de castigarse, cambiaron la ecuación: Decidieron pagar por adelantado. En lugar de quedarse en sus defectos, celebraron sus fortalezas y escogieron servir a los demás. Rompieron el ciclo de auto-sabotaje y se aceptaron a si mismos como valiosos.
Y eso es lo que TU debes hacer...
Como el yin y el yang, todos tenemos aspectos positivos y negativos. Eso hace parte de la clase de "cómo ser un humano" en la que todos estamos inscritos.
Eso no te hace menos valioso. Tu naciste para ser saludable, feliz y próspero.
Por favor. Perdónate. Date permiso para la prosperidad. ¡Date permiso para ganar!
Randy I just got off the phone with one of my friends, fighting selfworth, and I got her to see your video. I talked to her for over an hour. This has nothing to do with my business, but I know that your video about creating your dream life made a difference in her life. She will wach the video again and thinks a lot of you. I am so gratefull for your videos and articles. You help more people than you can imagine. I just wanted you to know.
Your posts really make me reflect and think deeper. On the surface I don't feel as if I have any worthiness issues. At the same time I have some goals and objectives that I am pushing hard to achieve. In the back of my mind though, I keep getting this subtle message that if/when I reach certain goals that I will be judged (especially by those close to me). Another thought is yes, I believe I can reach certain objectives, but can they be sustained? I guess this does come down to an issue of whether I really feel worthy of certain goals. Reading your posts and comments have helped bring that to the surface for me... I believe that's half the battle of overcoming that.
- change the equation
- forgive myself
- decide to pay it forward
- brake the self-sabotage cycle
- accept yourself as worthy
Yes these things are really good to think about.
- your real self worth is worthy
- you deserve to be healthy, happy and prosperous.
- You were born to be healthy, happy, and prosperous.
- You will manifest prosperity in direct proportion to the degree you believe you are worthy of it.
And I guess these are beliefs I may need to convert myself into.))
Although objectivists would say that we should follow reasons rather than beliefs...
Objectivity says: "reality exists independent of any perceiver’s consciousness."
you are the best (((Randy)).
I love waken up to my computer in the morning
to your (blogs), you are true lye god's gifted (PlaN) for human society..
P.S Luv 1 2 Luv 1..............i give my self permission
to let C-LoW and Christopher michael Back (to get, grab, and earn his Birth right to (win)
Happy Holidays ...Randy from (C-LoW) at HitLab.com....#11 yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Thank you Randy!
So what you`re saying is despite all the past wrong doings, despite any future wrong doings we are worthy?
We are still responsible for the choices we make. Guilt may be a negative emotion, but it is a nessecary one. It tells us when we have stepped over into the dark side. Then we should do the punishment that fits the crime, or rectify the situation as soon as possible. But, yes hanging on to guilt and shame forever is detrimental to our feelings of self worth.
Thinking we are bad and no one else is as bad, or thinking one deed makes us a terrible person, is also a kind of disorganized thinking that often accompanies depression. Medication sometimes helps this too, and it is very brave to take that step.
I had a very wise psychology professor who said we must feel loveable and competent these are the two things we have to feel to have a feeling of true self worth.
I'm a former psychotherapist (now mentoring and coaching) and I've seen a lot of people wracked with guilt. Too many people use their behavior as a barometer of their self-worth.
So, it depends on what you mean by "guilt."
It's healthy to take full responsibility for our behavior and empathize with someone we might have hurt or wronged in some way.
It's unhealthy to beat up on ourselves, get down on ourselves for our behavior, or to feel we are less deserving because of our behavior.
We are deserving of love, prosperity and all other good things... no matter what.
"Guilt" focuses on the past (I'm a bad person for what I did) and keeps us stuck.
"Remorse" focuses on the future and on solutions (My actions hurt myself or others. What can I do now to make possible amends and to move forward with love and wisdom?)
We are saying the same thing. Just semantics. I think. Actually it is interesting because the dictionary defines guilt as such: The fact of being responsible for a crime or wrongdoing. Regretful awareness of having done something wrong: remorse. Remorse:Bitter remorse for past deeds. So I think they are synonymous.
People in psychotherapy have lots of unhealthy guilt and remorse. A healthy person experiences guilt and uses it as teaching tool.
Your comment does raise an interesting point though. I think the words we use have different meanings to different people, despite the actual definiton. Which is why I tell Randy not to call being poor a "sin". Thanks.
What a beautiful post! :)
I remember having an eureka moment with this years ago. That as beautiful a person can be, is exactly how ugly he/ she can get on the other end of the spectrum. And that it HAS to be this way, for within us we have to have that balance of duality. Then we choose, consciously or unconsciously, every moment - from which end of that spectrum do we wish to express ourselves. That's the yin & yang you were talking about.
It was amazing for me to *get* this then, for I could accept myself completely and others too. It wasn't difficult to forgive & accept anyone after that, no matter how much pain we might have caused each other before. I could see them as whole, beautifully human & on their personal journey of learning here; as I am on mine. And my friendships get transited to stratospheric levels of trust after that, and the self-worth of all involved goes up a couple of notches because we honor the truth of who we are. It's beautiful!
Side note btw: The universe balances itself out too. Did you realize that when Gandhi was bringing the experience of non-violence to the world, there existed Hitler in the exact same time frame, doing the exact horrific opposite in as massive a scale? Just a thought that came to me when I was studying this universal balance & duality thing.
And to get back on point and answer your question - yes, I give myself permission to win and to prosper, to honor the gifts I've been given by sharing it freely and fearlessly, and to live in conscious contribution. Sending love to ya rocksta! xoxo
@ Side note btw: The universe balances itself out too. Did you realize that when Gandhi was bringing the experience of non-violence to the world, there existed Hitler in the exact same time frame, doing the exact horrific opposite in as massive a scale? Just a thought that came to me when I was studying this universal balance & duality thing.
This is wonderful, I never never thought of life working this way. Thank you so much for this eyeopener.
I was just asking for clarity on taking the knowledge I have and connecting it to my heart.... the balance of KNOWING=FEELING. I think this is one way of me getting to that point.
Randy! This is magnificent. Worthiness is soooo huge. I will happily share this masterpiece. Blessings.
Inner knowledge has been a long hard process for me, as I believe the best knowledge we have is already within each of us. We all have a great story from our own experiences.
Continual learning and developing is the key to a great life, which most can enjoy!!!
Wishing all the very best Holidays and a fantastic, healthy, happy New Year!
Boy its like you're a fly on my living room wall Randy.
I have played out this act of self sabotage for years. I never thought about it being a part of that wants to punish myself for all the wrongs I have done in my life.
TODAY IS A NEW DAY that is going to be my motto from now on. Thank you Randy for this wonderful insight.
Thanks Randy, This reminds me to pray and ask for forgiveness for the "bad" things I have done, and to also pray for the wisdom to understand my self worth so that I may be "health, happy and prosperous". Remember everything is possible with God.
I know this dysfunction well. On top of the harsh judgement because of not meeting our own high expectations on a daily basis, which leads to the low sense of self worth....add a layer of realization that such thinking is ultimately selfish and self-centered, though not in the productive and prosperous sense but in a manic and paralyzing sense...which pushes one further down the vortex of low self worth because we realize in that that we are not in service to others which is what we profess to want to be because we are caring and sensitive....which makes it all the more difficult to celebrate our gifts and pay it forward. The ego is a powerful force. Just let go!