Gaining Confidence

I’d like to hear other’s comments too. I have lost confidence over the last 2 years and am struggling with getting it back. I’ve had some small victories but not enough to build one upon the other.

I need to hang around people more successful & confident than me, then it will rub off.

Thanks for the post, Randy. My positive outlook is getting better as a result of readin your posts. Now if I can just get building on the confident thing….

Tom Larsen

I think that the more I mull things around in my mind, the more I seem to spiral downward. It takes being able to take a fresh look at the situation – like start back where I was when I first undertook to do whatever it is that I’m having trouble envisioning. It would be better to speak aloud such as with a friend who can help evaluate whether I’m just being negative or not. Barring that, the next best thing is to talk out loud to myself instead of entertaining gloom and doom.

Hace aproximadamente 8 años q perdi la confianza en mi mismo, a lo largo de todo este tiempo ha sido un proceso primero el poder darme cuenta y determinarlo y ahora salir adelante… es una sensacion extraña, pues me conozco y se q la tenia… ahora solo trato de recuperarla, con pequeños actos y triunfos… se a donde quiero llegar, solo q perdi el camino, lo estoy reconstruyendo.

GV

Confidence…

It seems to come and go with the flow. In my experience, it took me a few years to tap into it. I started to discover my confidence by participating in retreats and workshops, by totally releasing my body and fell amazing emotions. The best body/breath/movement I ever done is Osho Active Meditations, specially Dynamic Meditation.

Then a big overflow of amzing results happened, and I fell into the trap of thinking “I’ve got it. Now everything I want will be”, and became arrogant. Slow fall came next…

I know that the experience came from the emotions and feelings I had, and the power to direct them to a result that I really wished.

Now I’m rebuilding again my inner world, my confidence. Using again body/breath/movement techniques to tap into the emotional world again, and also using Proclamations, a technique that Dõv Baron teaches. It uses affirmations allied with the power of emotions, strong deep emotions. And it works. My self belief and confidence starts to grow again and things “are starting to move” again.

For me, the body is an essential part of this equation. I can’t make only with the use of the thoughts and/or the mind.

JD

I Like this post, Randy, because I have been working toward building self-confidence for a couple of years.

The best thing I do is work to improve myself. I have improved my virtues first. If one concentrates on being virtuous, one forgets about comparing or losing out. The virtues I am using are affection, goodness, truth, beauty and humility.

This is my best tip for others.

Interesting post Randy and good perceptive comments by others. Many people with good empathy (which is good in itself) get affected by people around them who have low confidence. Some times a stray negative remark can spark a trail of negative thoughts leading to low confidence.
To help people (and myself) to regain confidence quickly, I have put together http://www.confidencesimplified.com

Whenever I feel low, I always think of this saying “Focus on what you can control, not on what you cannot.”

For me, this has everything to do with an inner choice we make, or as most call it, Intention. But once we have ANY doubts whatsoever (Fear as you so rightly call it), it clouds the intention and puts barriers in place. So we have to ask ourselves, “What are we achieving by not having what we want”.. Then we need to choose again and stand pat.

“I line up my Intention and the Universe lines up the means”

Thanks Randy!

Everytime i lose faith i start listening to good music… watching a good comedie movie or just going out in the park for a short jogging to clear my head and reanalyze the problems i have and find an alternative.
Just yesterday i had a fight with a best friend and i was very upset because of that… i just watched push and had a great night sleep and today i saw the problem from another angle… they were not very seriously problems.
I’m a great fan of you Randy and i hope that someday you will visit Romania and talk to romanian people about prosperity.

Hello Everyone,

Lacking confidence to me is equivalent to self doubt.
And I feel that whenever I am not accomplishing my goals fast enough.
I start to doubt my abilities which actually leads to losing confidence in myself when I let the feeling go rampant on me… So what I do when I feel it coming (it feels like a heavy weight within me); as soon as I recognize it, I stop the moment, the chain of thought, and kind of review positive aspects, accomplishments of my past. The point is to shift the focus of attention to where I want to be from where I feel I am at the moment.
It works for me :-)

Best regards,
Maria

My confidence is high for things that I know I can do really well but low for the things that I have not been able to do as well as I would like. Although I can’t say this with a huge amount of experience, I would say that getting encouragement as well as valuable guidance from the right person would greatly assist me in boosting my self-confidence. Although I’m sure that I could achieve this just by directing my own thoughts, I think that getting help would make it happen more quickly and easily.

I rebuild my confidence by reading books and listening to the top self development authors. Taking that action gets me back into the correct action necessary to increase my business. Learning ways to reharness our intention and bring it back into focus is the key to creation of our dreams. Thanks so much Randy for your excellent mentoring!

Randy… what do you think about..that when we fell down “To clean”our body/mind/sprit with a meditation letting go all the “garbage” that make us feel so down, so empty of energy, all that fears realted with, life and dead ,with money and worck..we are in a diiffciluit moment here in Mexico.. Today Iwill clean my mind …tomorrow I will coment results..thanks very much for your post Randy..

For me, confidence is all about action. More action = more confidence. I find that when I take action –any action–in the direction of my dreams, that my confidence skyrockets–even if I have a few miserable failures in the mix. Perhaps it’s the feeling of knowing that, by taking action, I am taking responsibility and control of my life that leads to the increased confidence.

It seems like if you hang around positive confident people that that could rub off on you. Trouble is, where do you find these people if you don’t have the confidence in yourself to be around these types of people to begin with?

Just wondering…

Self-Confidence comes from inside – when i find myself around negative people I move . Negative folks rub off on you even if you do not mean for them too and it only takes seconds. I want to be around people who see the glass as half full not half empty.
If there is something I don’t know – or have not figured out – I start following the folks that have. The successful minded people
have a different though pattern that someone who keeps looking at their feet.

No pity party for me – so Randy – what is for dinner !

Hi…Generally when I feel I am losing confidence or am getting anxious I either put on my Bob Seger cd and dance until I am so exhausted I feel great…..or I take a ride through the woods..galloping on the central grassy verge where you cant hear the hoofs but can feel the speed blows any lack out of you…and I always feel exhilarated afterwards….Both work everytime….
with love Angie

Confidence and Certainty is key!! and even better if it is unshakeable confidence and certainty. Belief in who you are and what you are doing creates confidence and certainty.

It is important to center yourself around confident and positive people. Another key point,,,,NEVER compare yourself to anybody,
we are all unique and special so what’s the point. Just be you and love yourself.

I don’t have a lot of trophys or plaques, well, some, but I keep momentos of my successes that have helped me build my confidence and they are foundational. As the “you can’t do that” or “no one can get that done” come bounding in to kill my confidence, I look at my “positive triggers” and I have several of them close by – and there is no space for the incoming negative stuff. Then I get physically and mentally excited about what I am doing. I also listen to my Personal Development MP3/Ipod recordings that reinforce the pursuit of my goals. Believing is Seeing! Seeing is achieving!

I take time to be still a moment and reflect on my successes. I look at just how big my box (comfort zone) has grown through my courage and actions.

And, I take time to be quiet enough to receive, to let myself hear the appreciatation and acknowledgment of others – so I know I am on the right path.

I have a treasure box. Cards, notes, pictures that make me feel good.

No one is really “better” than any other.

We’re just where we need to be to grow, regardless.

You might look “bad” and you might be on a “lower” level by what passes for standards on this planet, but don’t buy into that and realize that you might be on a “higher” level regardless.

There should never really be any need for any fear.

“The Secret” is really who we are, as a race. As highly spiritually evolved beings, we chose to forget who we are, falling back into the concept of time and into unique genetic royalty physicality, being a mix of at least 12 different races, unheard of anywhere else.

I want to see confidence in the human race, and not have to try to explain why we’re the only race in the known universe who let people of our own kind starve to death etc. It’s unthinkable for any other, even the most “horrible” ones by our measures.

The people who are here at this point in “time” on Earth are leaders. That’s why you chose to come. Step up to it!

I think it was Mr. Gage who said in one of his CDs something like that if you have an issue with yourself, try to help someone else in the midst of your problems and see where it goes. Get out of your own way!

Mr. Gage has also said something to the effect of “You can’t look good and get better at the same time.” Brilliant!

It’s really “small” things that make a difference. Bless every day when you wake up. Tell your close ones that you love them. Be friendly at the office. Bless the room you enter before a meeting. When you here an ambulance, bless the person in there so that the highest good is achieved etc. etc.

Earth is bootcamp for the soul and mirrors shit back to us if that is what we project out.

Always remember we are soul first and as above so below.

The love that you withhold is the pain that you carry.

At times in years past it felt like being with more confident/more successful people actually made me feel less confident, (now that’s what I call a double whammy :) ), however by purposely forcing myself to constantly read, listen to, talk with prosperity minded people and blogs like Randy’s every single day really has transformed my mindset.

I have learnt that confidence wanes in every human being. It’s how one reacts to the voice in their head that ends in a positive or negative result.

Constant, daily improvement, love it.

Very true about self confidence and it seems that once it slips away from you it is hard to get back. I try a lot of affirmations. You know how if you do something stupid (i.e. drop a jar of mayo on the floor and it shatters and makes a huge mess you tend to beat yourself up the entire time you are cleaning up the mess and then some afterwards). So for affirmations I try to compliment myself on just about everything (oh I did such a good job _____________ (fill in the blank), when I pass by the mirror I tell myself I love ME. I have even left post it notes up in different places to remind myself how good I am. It sounds juvenile probably, but it helps me stay up.

Act with your eyes closed! If you do the planning but struggle because of confidence when action time comes, then try just acting without thinking any more – no mind – I’ve found this to help me achieve much more. I don’t have anymore confidence then when I started, but I’m still achieving, even without it.

If you planned right, your subconscious will take over and make sure things happen as they should while you shit yourself. The kicker is it ends up being quite thrilling sometimes.

When I lose confidence, I’ll recall all my past successes; call up those people who believe in me; and also meet up with people who’re more successful than me.

I’m more confident when I use SURE antiperspirant.

It’s a tricky thing; sometimes I can “act as if” I’m confident, and it helps, other times it just displays even more so how scared I am.

I’ve found that the best way to stay confident is to NOT DESIRE a specific outcome- easier said than done however.

Listening to inspiring audios, reading and journalling work best for me. If I listen to Jim Rohn or read Norman V Peale and still don’t feel better then I know I have some real work to do!

Some days I think you just need to take more time than others to go within. Keeping a journal helps because when you are confident certain ideas seem wonderful but then when you meet adversity they often seem really ridiculous!

A journal reminds me how I was thinking and helps me to tap into my confident flow again and break through that fear.

I’m so confident that it may get me into trouble sometimes but you know what …I keep coming back stronger and stronger…for example I’m on my 17th FB account….they can slow me down but they can’t stop me….I probably have the Guinness World record for the most Facebook accounts….when you have the dream to help one billion and you’re on the way to doing that…you get many roadblocks! It’s funny how people react and do the most unethical and un-go corish things! Michael Jordan said he failed 18 times before he succeeded….I’m close to him! Hmmmmm! And I consider him a leader…I must be on the right track!
Tony

What if your full of positive energy and very confident on the things you do and see, but you have a guard over yourself so you won’t let people hurt or nearly harm you? What would u do and why?

*.~

I seem to have no confidence at all, or very little anyway. I know confidence can be based on good reasoning, but I still don’t feel in control of my life. I’ve been depressed for 15+yrs. and haven’t made any money in the past 3 years except for one weeks work;although I got a great recommendation from that job, and the agency who hired me received the recommendation, and subsequently offered me Full Time Positions, my confidence waned, and they sort of reneged on the whole thing. I felt I was obsessing a lot on the job where I got the recommendation. I’ve had OCD therapy, 4 years of group therapy(5 days/week, 6 hours a day, 4 yrs. straight), job coaching, life coaching from 2 top companies, regular one-on-one therapy, I even wrote down 391 things to get self esteem and none of them had a powerful effect on me. I have a psychiatrist, but although it helps with the obsessing, I feel I’m taking too many overall that I feel sluggish. A therapist told me I had no confidence (I think it was to be hurtful bec I said something inconsiderate uninentionally) and that sort of brought down my confidence some. I just can’t seem to get the ball rolling w/enough momentum.
My daily routine is to get up early, walk around the block for about 35 mins., take a shower, go out and call/visit emplyment agencies, visit thriftstores/bookstores/libraries, then come home and maybe listen to some self help tapes. Yet, still nothing seems to get me out of this slump. I know where the problem originated from, which was in the past, but I still can’t seem to solve it. Above that, my next door neighbors as well as surrounding neighbors seem to think I lack some respect, and I feel that they’re encouraging me to move out-so I feel pressure. Furthermore, I’m not good at all with panic situations, and that’s what I most want to improve on.
Suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
Kind Regard,
rcgoodwill3