Being Real with Yourself
By Randy Gage
Yesterday I asked you to do some critical thinking on what you’re attracting in your life. And look at your health, relationships, prosperity, work, and spiritual foundation. So how did you do?
Got some interesting comments on the blog. More than a few of you acknowledged that you perhaps had gotten complacent, thinking that because you’re doing better than the herd, you were doing great.
But that’s a hell of a standard. Not exactly one of excellence. Some other questions, to dig a little deeper…
If you’re not experiencing excellent health, do you believe it is the result of factors beyond your control? (Example: You were paralyzed in a skiing accident.)
If you answered ‘yes,’ is that really the whole truth? Or have you blamed a weight challenge on your metabolism, big bones, or a sedentary job? Have you “owned” a health challenge because it gets you sympathy, attention and care?
If you know that your health challenge is a result of factors within your control, why do you think it still exists? Simply saying, “I need to skip desserts,” etc is not realistic. There is a lot of truth in the statement, “It’s not what you eat, but what’s eating you.” How does that apply to you?
Are you using food as an escape or substitute for something else? Are you subconsciously using it to self-sabotage your results in something?
Likewise with other physical challenges. Are you holding on to them to excuse yourself from succeeding at something?
Do you have loving relationships in your life? And by this, I mean real love, not the ‘well we have 2.3 kids, a picket fence and shaggy dog, so we must be in love’ love. Do you have friends that love you?
Do you have friends and family that you can have REAL conversations with? In case you’re not sure, here’s what I mean by that. If you call your mother and she says the following, this is NOT a real conversation:
“Well we met at Aunt Becky’s for the Memorial Day picnic. I brought apple pie, and Susie made potato salad. Grandma made ham. Why she got an 11-pound ham, I’ll never know. There were only eight of us…”
This is not a real conversation because it doesn’t mean anything. It’s just mindless conversation to fill space and time. A real conversation goes something like this:
“I start the new job next month, and I’m really scared. I hope I can fit in with the new culture. It’s a real challenge because it’s a big step up for me, and the most responsibility I’ve ever had. The kids are nervous and a little upset about moving and leaving their friends. I’m excited about the new opportunity, but I’m afraid the kids won’t adjust well to the change. I just let them know that I love them and…”
This is a real conversation because we are talking about real emotions, feelings, and things that matter. Most people are not capable of these kinds of conversations. They simply repeat the platitudes and patterns the herd taught them, blathering about the weather, sports and what was on TV the night before.
One of the most important scores to look at in your life, is the number of people you’ve attracted who can be real with you. This means not only having real conversations, but also calling you on your stuff.
We don’t like to hear that our pants are too tight, our breath is bad, or we’re repeating a negative relationship pattern, but you need people in your life who will tell you those things if need be. Having someone that you can check things out is very important to functioning healthy in this very unhealthy society.
So based upon this, how many people do you have that you can have a real conversation with? Don’t be surprised if it is zero, by the way. That’s true for most people. But if it is zero…
Think about that. What are you running away from? What is it that you’re still hanging on to that you’re afraid to have someone tell you? (Addictions, narcissism, fear of intimacy, etc.)
As far as prosperity, how are you doing money wise? Like the other areas, I think the score here is important. I believe that the money you earn is in direct relation to the value you provide others. If you’re not wealthy, why not?
How does that question make you feel? Are you angry with me for asking it? Do you think it’s a stupid or bad question? Have you just started to justify why you are not wealthy? Examples: “Not all people are supposed to be wealthy.” “I’m doing God’s work.” “I’m in a noble profession like teaching or nursing and we’re not supposed to make a lot of money.”
You don’t really believe that shit do you? And if you did start to justify like that, what do you think about that? Does that belief serve you?
How’s your spiritual connection? Do you have a belief that works for you, whether it’s God, the Universe or nature? How were you raised, and what kind of programming did that infect you with?
Do you find yourself sometimes attributing things to fate, destiny or God, instead of accepting personal responsibility?
What are the people who are closest to you like? Are they healthy, happy and successful, or still in victim mode? Jim Rohn tells us that your income is determined by the average income of your five closest friends. I think it also holds true regarding relationships, health and other areas.
I hope you’ll really do the critical thinking on these questions. Because once you uncover subconscious programming, it loses a lot of its power over you. And it means the further work we do will take you that much father on the path. And what an exciting path that is!
-RG
