I just broke off a partnership because the partner is thinking too small. In fact, she wants to be rich, but unwilling to do what the rich do.
by Randy Gage
So what does it take for you to make a change? Do you change because it’s the best thing to do? Or do you procrastinate, and only change when you’re forced to?
Making a change is often like having to fire someone, end a relationship, or pulling a tooth: Better to get it over with.
This is a very relevant topic for me because I’ve recently come to grips with a situation in my own life…
I like to think I embrace change. I never procrastinate; I just get things done. When I see how changing something will improve my life, I do it. I seek challenges and tackle them readily. But I recently noticed something very disturbing..,
Because I’m introverted, I have a tendency to stay in limiting business situations too long. This was a pattern I had in romantic relationships for many years. I would realize a relationship was dysfunctional and end it. And then, rather than face the risk of a new relationship, I’d find myself going back to the ex and try again. I repeated that pattern in four or five relationships before I finally got over it.
But just when I’m ready to pat myself on the back, something else became apparent…
I’m surrounded by a lot of people that play small.
Oh, maybe not by most people’s standards. But if I’m honest, I have to admit I have surrounded myself with people who give me permission to stay the way I am. And that is the sure path to mediocrity.
I got in many business partnerships 10, 15, or even 20 years ago that I’m still in. Some are suppliers, some are partners, and others are simply colleagues that I may brainstorm with. I attracted these people when I was vibrating at a much lower consciousness, and had a much smaller vision of myself and my work. And how do I say this delicately…
While I’ve been growing my vision, not all of these people have been. So when I announce a new project, or come up with a new idea, I have to sell them on it. They doubt the feasibility or think I’m aiming too big. And kind of like “the devil you know” cliché, I’ve settled for people I know and am comfortable with, instead of going out and attracting new people who would challenge me more.
This is not an indictment of the people in my world. They all have their own lives and get to make their own choices. This is an indictment on my own issues. Settling for the familiar and comfortable, instead of going for awesome. That is now officially over.
But enough about my drama. I share it only in that it may contain a lesson for you.
Are you open to change? Are you constantly seeking it? And have you surrounded yourself with people that challenge you to grow – or give you permission to stay in your comfort zone? Are you ready to be AWESOME! Please share your thoughts below.
Interesting to note this. I think some introspection is necessary. I'm sure I've been playing smaller than I have to (don't we all). How do you find people who will stretch you in different areas?
You an introvert Randy? I too have fell prey to stay with the familiar than risk the task of trying something new. The big thing that I noticed when I keep doing the same thing with the same people is that I get very bored and lose my drive.
I found that I can’t seem to shake all the negative people from my life. They are like a disease that infects everything around them. They are a cancer that needs to be killed. I sound harsh today though I'm just tired of dealing with those people in my life from now on. I completely agree with you on just about every topic you post. I'm so tired to it all. I was able to focus on you and your way of life for so long that it actually made a dent in my life.
It took almost a year of listening to you to really get a hint of what it takes to live a prosperous life. We do this to ourselves though we don’t need to. The people in my life that held me back, that called me names and made fun of me for being or wanting something different in my life. Even when they saw me happy they where upset because they did not feel happy.
All my teenage years I felt like I needed to fit in and belong to others. Then I realized that I didn’t need to fit in with anyone. That everyone had there own mission and path to take and it’s up to them to decide not others. So often we try to force other people to take a similar path as ours. We try to force our model of the world on others. Though it’s not ours to do this for other people.
It’s up to us to make those decisions empowered by choice. Though most only think of themselves and it’s not much to begin with. So when they see others they say what makes him think he is so special.
Then I say I don’t, I just care about the results in my life. I know that I must always surround myself with people who will lift me up when I’d down as well as empower me to succeed. Trying to fit in caused so much pain in my life and problems too.
To fit in or try to fit in is a cancer that should be avoided at all costs. You showed me that what it takes is patience though also action and clarity. You are so FREAKING AWESOME! Though I think that you already know that J
I watched every single video you ever posted on the “YouTube” channel and all though it took a year of constant thinking over the thoughts to get this far, thank you.
I know exactly what you are saying---this is by FAR the no. 1 reason we find it hard to get out of 'limiting' vibrations. How can we leave our own family and log-term friends behind? We'd all agree that that group is the greatest source of whatever vibrational pattern we are in. So how do you make a jump. At least starting point is way too steep.
Little digression--I read you and Bob Doyle regularly. I am looking for a relevant 'program' to promote to my list of subscribers, most are US-based writers. Guess where I ended- Purely co-incidental I am now promoting the same program which is ONLY being marketed by Bob Doyle. Me and Bob in the same vibrational zone. WOOHO!
RG, would you have a program we can promote together? You talked about doing new things with new people. Let' see if I qualify to your frequency yet!
One year ago I packed up my things, ended a thirty year marriage and moved to Vancouver. My boys who are grown men now live there and I was just so tired of swimming up stream. I got a nice apartment over looking English Bay about 45 minutes away from my kids. This move wasn't just about being closer to them as much as about being closer to myself. My ex-husband and I are still friends and the four of us will always be a family.
This last year was so out of my comfort zone and there were thoughts about running back to the security that I have known. I've gone through lots of tissue and have become comfortable with the fetal position. I question myself all the time and have to fight the gremlins in my head. Sometimes it is so lonely.
Inside somewhere deep I knew I was capable of greatness and was not going to be able to reach it in my currant state. So I jumped, the free fall is accelerating and I watched out for the turbulence.
I guess what I am saying (and hope I am listening to) is to have faith and believe with all your being that you are important enough to make the changed. I know this is the journey I am suppose to be on and will continue.
Randy I read your blogs @bobburg and @trevororouke to keep me inspired and to get the hand up I may need.
Very insightful article, Randy. Good self-leadership and positive influence is all about going into "uncharted waters" frequently to learn and value different experiences. There is a point at which we all can be too comfortable. I get along much better with adults than I do peers, but I have so much to learn from friends every day that an adult I meet probably can't explain to me. I am constantly seeking ways to better myself and opportunities that help me become a better leader, mentor, follower, and friend. More relationships in which each side can add value to life and make life worth living to be awesome! Thank you for the lesson =)
Loved that post. I'm introverted it, too so it was a great lesson.
Thanks for being open :)
I have heard that yogas expand consciousness in 2 ways- meditating on the joy or something beautiful, or on the contrary, the pain. You have to be willing to accept both the joy and pain as part of the NOW. When is a joy and enthusiasm, I love it. But also I have to understand, when I have fears, doubts, I am angry or jealous. If I understand it and accept this, then it doesn't multiply.
I can choose my close relationships, maybe better to create a vacuum. But I can’t choose colleagues, they are chosen by others. I can change job and field, but everywhere will be people with different levels of consciousness. I choose to understand where people are and accept it.
I was looking for a personal coach. I found Randy, but who manages to open up more of my consciousness. I am happy about it, thanks Randy.
Then, still was looking for someone who is in more available physical distance to "cry on shoulder" sometimes. And I found him . In my house. my son who is school dropout. I just realized that he is wiser than me and asked him for help.
Now I have 2 best couches what did I ever could have imagined. It can never be predicted where and how come these 5 people to open your window to the world wider.
I tend to think about this as commitment. Recently I am becoming more aware of how commitment is critical to accomplishment. What are we more committed to; being comfortable or what we say we really want? Same thing with the people around us, I see most committed to preserving the status quo, not going for growth...and that's okay. At least for them, not for me.
Such great timing Randy.. The one thought that has permeated my mind for quite some time now is "Change". My life isn't moving forward to the degree I intend it, and I have been seeking Divine inspiration and guidance for the answer to change.
And when it comes to surrounding ourselves with those that support our vision, I have been purging my circle of those who don't get it, along with those focused purely on themselves. The GREAT part has to do with attracting new people that 'get the vision', along with bringing back someone who not only gets it, but will make a difference in many ways.
And yet there are many elements of my life still in need of change which requires I move from my comfort zone. Trouble is, I get 'stuck' not knowing exactly what move to make since 'comfort' is familiar, but not getting me what I intend. As Dyer says in "The Power of Intention", it's important to imagine we are surrounded by the conditions of our intention at all times. In other words, think it into being. Your thoughts?
I try to change for manifesting more prosperity in my life. I certainly have to attract more people in my life who wants to challenge me to grow.
Great post Randy !
I actually had my own epiphany last week of a similar sort and began realizing how to restructure my life and business so that it was my ideal life. Focusing on the things I am best at, enjoy the most and leveraging others in my life/business to allow this to happen. I can actually SEE the idea in motion and can already feel how great it's going to be and the best part is all this will actually allow me grow my business, make the financial goals I've set, bring a balance back to my life that I lost for a while and bring a lot more enjoyment. as you say BOOM! :-) I love change....
OMG, This is right on time!!With relationships, with business and just in life!You have said alot of things that people are not wheeling to say..You have made me realize its ok to want bigger and better things, and just because people don't want the same, you dont have to conform to there way of living!!
THIS IS POWERFUL!!
WoW. Thanks Randy. You're message came righ on time. I m in love with some girl. It's very clear that she is completely different from me. I took up the challenge to change, to become more attractive, confident, funnier, interesting, creative and a lot of many other things. I take advises from many "dating experienced" people. And everything is working, but still- not enough. I almost got in to "friend zone".So I started to have thoughts- why should I change? Maybe I should find a girl who would be comfortable for me, and who would fall in love with me- like I m right now? And you just cleaned away these thoughts- I really want to change and be with someone, who is challenging for me.
Thanks for the Tip. :)
Randy, what an awesome post today!
...what I do think about change and my readyness?
I was looking for change for many YEARS. I thought it comes fom the outside. It never appeared. I gave up. When I started from the inside (vision-like) going after something new, I started attracting - but just little, of course.
I am no mediocrity-type - by nature. I own a lethal genetic default which means I cannot pass it on (very practical) but it´s enough to sort me out of becoming a potential wife for a potential family.
I got a NO-GO for good instead. Very "nice" answer....
Change was escorting me like a friend but kept me in an empty niche. I had no idea what to do and what to plan. I became an observer.
After attracting a few elopers and reading books, watching movies to get ideas and excuses "WHY" I would try to DO this and that (in case someone asks why I did it) I found people in a niche.
To not freak-out in happiness, in parallel I lost my well paid job. I re-started after more than 1 year for 50% of my last salary. Unfortunately in the same biz area.
I received a NO-GO for change - ever. That´s what I was told. I never listened to what I was "told" by others who swam in the mass. So I looked for change again. This time: outside my country (too many no-goes for me here) and starting inside as well.I ended up on the other end of our country which I loved.Being away felt great. My contract at that company where I was rented for months now, ends now in June. RESULT:
NOW my worst horror is standing in front if me, waving his hands. The HR people who are 100% rational - typical for our country which functions like an assembly line or like a sorting machine - are going to put me into the very closest gap in which I fit perfectly via criteria: I was told last week that I have to go back to Braunschweig in July to have an interview for working as an external employer at VW. Long-termly. I shivered. It was never my plan. Can I complain? No. I work in parallel to build my own biz.
I am so glad that none is able to program me and none gets ANY ACCESS to my brains unless she/he´s one the same wave pattern.
Looking for meeting "him" (again?) - - somewhere out there. Won´t stop seeking.
Seems like CHANGE is screaming loud to me lately....and I will do a lot to get out of that unattractive situation. There´s a lot of change ahead. Embrace change? Yes: warm huggs to that new challenge called change.
It means: I have to apply again for new jobs and I will move & change my apartm. as well. What a sudden trigger!! .....it couln´t get worse for me.....worse? Challenging!
So, change does include some travel in Oct. as well, but life was ALWAYS very tough on me. Lets fight the stiff system! Lets get it set-up for AWESOME. ;))
I am prepared.I learned to SMILE while running all my programs in my brains to get to the back door with the key in my hands. Change is the name of my program in my brains.
Thanks for this great post Randy!!! Sorry I had to drop so much today, it just sounded inviting to me and it meets my own changes in life.
Enjoy your life, do what you love to do, get out, meet your new people, get into new businesses, learn about others, take it with you! Connect with more challenges and I am sure they all will embrace your will to change as well and greet you once appearing on their stage -
You´re awesome -
Wow! I didn't realize I may be limiting myself by my 'old' relationships. Thanks for gretting me to clue in!
Regarding people in our life, from my experience its not usually them holding us back, its us holding on to them. Letting go of them doesnt mean we stop being their friend, it means we`re aiming for something else, something different, we`re making a personal change. They either accept that or dont. Its their choice. They can come along for the ride or not. But the door is always open if they do decide they want to join you, but that means accepting the new you.
And Randy, you consider yourself introverted??!! Really?!! You dont come across tha way. I consider myself the same. Could there also be a limiting belief/attitude in there?
I just got and read your book, "Why you're Dumb, Sick and Broke" where you share a statement about what Jim Rohn says. He says that..." your income will be the average earnings of your five closest friends". I believe that's very true. Because when I think about it most of my closest friends work for the same company I do. And while I've done well at my job I just beginning to realize that I can do, be, have so much more! But to do that I have to surround myself with those who challenge me to in all of these areas. And so I believe in order for me to achieve my highest good....I may have to replace who my top friends are. It's not that I'm going to dismiss my friends that I associate with now. They may be very well be happy with where they are in their life. Those friends will always be my friends...just not my top 5. In order for my circumstances change I have to change and not remain stagnant. Jim Rohn also said, " If you don't like how things are, change it! You're not a tree."
I'm currently implementing the "Vacuum Law of Prosperity" by changing my top 5 friends with ones who will challenge me to do, have, be more than I am today. You may not know this Randy...but you do now...You my friend are one of them!
@RandyHiggins Great thoughts Randy. When I first thought about those words from Jim Rohn awhile back, I never thought about the people I work with. But, they are the ones I'm around more than everyone else! Friends or not, they set the course for my thoughts and actions. Finding a cause outside of work is the key (for me, at least) to growing.
Well! I thought for years that I wanted change but got nowhere, did not understand what it was until I came across your theories about prosperity. My first thought was! Who is this guy talking directly to me without knowing me. He knows me better than I do myself. If it has helped others as much as it has helped me then you're worth your weight in gold.
The problems I have encountered is getting away from an environment where you are surrounded by at least 10 people a day who do not change nor personal development. They believe that personal development is to read the latest union newspaper.
It's a challenge every day to hear these limited believes
I am ready for change - doing it! Randy when doing this, did you ever experience you are pretty much alone, having to "fire" most of your surroundings? I know I have far to go, but it feels right, and I've notised I succeed with things, I did not succeed with before. Thank's for your continuous support, I really appreciate you.
@LeneJytteHansen Yes I had to change a lot of things in my life when I first started. -RG
@Randy_Gage Thank's Randy! Actually I've been changing things most of my life and also learned a lot from that. I believe I have a fundament now and the knowledge to make changes that send me in the right direction to prosperity. I can see that it has not been my abilities, but lack og knowledge of how much who you surround yourself with and limiting believes means. This with limiting believes are of HUGE importance to catch and replace those. That has changed my life and success completely - actually from one day to the other. Right now it seams that no matter what I touch - I succeed - that's pretty facinating :)